My friend Gary one time referred to doubt as a bully, and it really caught my attention. What he shared resonated with my heart. Here is what I read on his blog:
“My daughter Emily got me thinking of one of my bullies. I hate him. He’s sneaky and he lies. When I get busy and tired, and especially if I’m discouraged, he starts in.
He loves it when there’s several things that have to be done at the same time and it’s going to be a challenge but I have to get there, and I lack confidence, and fear I won’t finish. That’s when he starts his bullying.
He tells me a very simple, very subtle lie. He doesn’t say it out loud, but I sense my soul hears it, and if I’m not careful believes it: “You are what you do. If you fail, then that’s who you are.”
Funny, when I succeed, that’s never who I am; only failure becomes my identity.
There are two answers to that “You’re not good enough — you’re not as good as you should be” feeling:
- Admit it. “You got that right. I’m all wrecked up. You don’t know the half of it.” There, that settles the performance part. Because even when I succeed I’m wrecked up.
- Get your good enough from Jesus. When you belong to him, you’re clothed in his righteousness, forever beloved and accepted, a constant recipient of his steadfast love and grace. I was slouched over in church one day and my wife Brenda passed me a note: “You belong to the King.”
She’s right. We belong to Him, wrecked up and all. That should matter!”
Oh my friends. I need this reminder. We are broken yet beautiful. A mess entrusted with His message. Wrecked up, yet loved with reckless abandon by the King of Glory.
When we doubt ourselves, it’s because we are forgetting our value and worth as children of God. We lack confidence in the gifts God’s entrusted to us and question what we have to offer in a given situation because we focus on only the first half – mess, broken, wrecked up.
But the truth is when we belong to Jesus, we’re covered in His goodness. We’re loved and accepted forever. We can simply offer what we have and allow His goodness that makes us good enough!
NOTE: Today’s comments along with Tuesdays are going to be part of my gift-card-give-away on Monday. If you want to share something just click the word “comments” below, type in the white box and be sure to include your email so I can let you know if you win. You know I just love to hear your thoughts.
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oops, my email was wrong on my last comment. It is:
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That Bully, Mr. Doubter, sure likes to mess with me… but praise the Lord that "greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world". I am so thankful for God's promises and that He created us each so uniquely and special. Thank you Renae for the reminder of where and who those doubting thoughts are coming from and that we are a child of the most HIGH KING.
Lee Ann
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He tells me a very simple, very subtle lie. He doesn’t say it out loud, but I sense my soul hears it, and if I’m not careful believes it: “You are what you do. If you fail, then that’s who you are.” Funny, when I succeed, that’s never who I am; only failure becomes my identity.
I identify with this 100%. I feel like I AM my failures.
Such a hard lie to break off….
valerie
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thanks for another great post! i needed to hear this right now. i am struggling with feelings of not being good enough. this blog puts a whole new spin on it! thanks so much for all of your encouraging words!
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GOD BLESS YOU Renee…you do not know How Much this has helped me!!!!!
I pray for the Lord God to continue to use you for His Honor and Glory..
You are a Blessing!!!!!!!
Numbers 6:24~26
You know, the Lord has a way of confirming things. I realize now that I've done to much believing the enemy. As a 17 yr old girl it can be so easy to do sometimes. When I make a mistake…the Enemy starts whispering to me that you I AM a mistake. All it takes is another sharp word or confirmation from my mother or a peer and all of the sudden, I start believing the lie.
The enemy can use all sorts of people to make me bellieve the lie, and he tends to use the people that are most important to me. He can even use my own thoughts standing at the mirror in the morning. It comes as a subtle whisper. "You don't look good in that outfit." Then, if I don't catch it right then and there…all of the sudden I find myself believing that I don't look good at all. Other days the lie is "you don't measure up" or "you don't deserve love or happiness." it's a slippery slope. The most dangerous lie is that I've run too far for God or I've disappointed Him too much. And the Enemy is good at convincing because it starts so subtle…then he brings in confirmation and I find myself believing the lie before without even realizing I've been fooled.
Thank you for this well timed post. It's sort of been a wake up call for me that I've been buying into the lies. I'm going to have to figure out lies from truth now…I guess the best way to find the truth is in His word, right? My Father tells me that I measure up, and that I'm forgiven, and that I am His beloved daughter. That no matter how far I've run or how many times I fall He's still there to pick me up. Thank goodness for His unending love and mercy!!
Thank you again, for this encouraging post!
Elizabeth
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I don’t normally do this, but my daughter, Bethany(age 10) just wrote something that I posted on my blog. I’m asking that you take a look at it and leave a comment to give her some encouragement. She was very nervous, but took a big leap because I asked her to. Please help me boost her confidence in sharing what God is speaking to her heart. Thanks!!!!!
Obedience… a ten year olds perspective.
Doubt…I have enough to write a book then I would doubt anyone would want to hear my story.
Usually I am a fiercely independent, confident woman but the enemy knows exactly where I am not. And he uses whoever he can to stop me dead in my tracks.
Several years ago I heard God call me to women's ministry. Two years ago I answered yes to whatever God wanted. I had the awesome privilege of attending She Speaks last year for hands on training from the best gals in women's ministry. I went home fired up and excited to start, with my husband's blessing, this new chapter in our lives. I even took the Next Step classes that were offered last fall. This was really happening! To me!
Then the brakes slammed and left treadmarks on the course called life.
Just before She Speaks, a family member moved into our home with a baby. For six months we lived through a loved one self destructing and with every attempt of us reaching out, a harder, thicker wall was built. I will spare the long story but the short version is addiction, anger and temper ruled our home for six months. We finally had to let them go and ask them to leave for protection of our own children. I am sorry to say that this family member left our home in worse shape than they came.
It truly has been the hardest time in our marriage of 8 years.
During this time, I doubted what I once knew. I am ashamed to say, instead of retreating to my prayer closet and crying out to Jesus, I doubted His love, His strength and His protection. I believed the lie that because I could not maintain peace within my four walls, God was done with any hopes or dreams for me. I also believed the lie that I had failed God's test of whether I really could be entrusted with a ministry or not. My quiet time suffered and I look back on that time with so many regrets. I was so caught up in doubt and believing lies straight from the pit of hell that I couldn't even approach my quiet time and study with a clean conscience, let alone boldly. That disappointed father image of God came back in full force. I didn't deserve to be in His presence. It was nothing but pride telling me that God had something special for this beat-up, exhausted and completely empty vessel.
I can't explain what happened – it is hard for me to believe myself. I was truly dwelling in a pit and I hated the gal I was becoming. I hated the wife I was becoming. I hated the mom I was becoming.
Slowly over the last few weeks, Truth has replaced the lies. The Holy Spirit's whisper is now louder than Satan's shouts of accusations. I have started journaling again. I am choosing to Believe God and take Him at His Word!
This was a very scary time and place for me. Doubt is a dangerous weapon Satan uses to try to stop God's message of Hope. It is loud, it is threatening, and unfortunately for me, it was believable.
Hi Renee – My bible study group started our study of Ephesians today so this couldn't be more perfect. I forwarded it onto our group from Crossline Woman's Ministries. Thank you! [email protected]
Thank you Renee for sharing. I had a friend give me an impression she had from the Lord for me the other day… She said that I had set my heart to obey the Lord and even when I fail (marriage, kids or whatever it is)that in my heart I want to do right. It was a huge encouragement for me and I hope it might encourage someone else.
Many blessings to you,
Debbie
Thank you for your words of comfort ans encouragement over the last couple of days. Bully Satan has been throwing everthing he can at me as I am attempting to prepare for my very first speaking event. He has stolen time in so many way: required overtime at my job,drama with my teenage daughter, and illness. But I will not let him win. I will speak speak of God's faithfullness. Isa 40:9-10
wow once again these words are so true for me. I hate that i can't belive that i'm good engough i am always afraid of what people think of me and what i do or will i keep my job, will i have friends, will i pay my bills have i raised my kids good engough will i ever find a church i fit in at. is there anyway my husband could go to church with me i know our realationship could be awesome if god was a part of it. why do i care what people think why do i feel left out and so lonely. why does my mind work like this how come i tell anyone freind or stranger what they need to hear and build them up and give them confidence and love but i can't do it for myself. i really relate to the bully reference that is so true i hear all the words of failure and not good engough all the time if only i could shut off that tape in my mind. i just keep reading and trying to learn from all these post somehow i hope one of them will get thru to me and my heart and i will find happiness and a sense of peace and i can be the person i see myself as.
at 48 you would think i would know i am blessed to have a son(26)and daughter n law and a daughter(21) who are awesome i have horse that i barrel race and a good job nice home iknow i'm lucky and shouldn't feel the way i do so here it is more fear and doubt cause i am so lucky and don't belive it ….
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Thanks for sharing. We are starting a mentor program at our church with some young college girls. I am dealing with the fact that I am not "good" enough or "qualified" enough to be a mentor. I struggle with doubt a lot and I am doing the Esther Bible Study in SS and at times I think I don't know enough to take the class, to answer the questions. I hope that I am not rambling. This has been a rough day and I need to go spend some time with my Heavenly Father. Thanks for listening and for sharing.
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Angela T Ramsey
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Thank you for this wonderful reminder. I have really been struggling the last few days on the whole doubt and worth thing and this… was just amazing. It brought back to my memory a time when I was bullied in grade school for quite awhile. I became so afraid of those girls and what they would do to me. After forgiving them at summer camp I could go back the next school year and be okay with them… I realized later in life that they were just insecure in who THEY were.
The devil is the same… when we are secure in Christ he becomes insecure and thinks that he can lie to us and bully us into being afraid.
I'm so thankful for the reminder that GOD is Lord over all and He loves me no matter what!!
I love you sweet Renee and I'm so very thankful for your words of encouragement. Thank you for pushing through the obstacles the enemy has thrown your way lately!
Love,
Bonnelle
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It is just so exciting when God confirms things to me over and over. I have been reading about the lies satan tells us and the agreements we make with him and how we need to break those agreements and fight back. Thank you for writing this to reaffirm this truth to me.
Danielle,
Thank you SO MUCH for your words to encourage me today. God's already using you. Girl, you just pour into those young women and His fingerprints will be all over their hearts. They just need to know they are loved. They just need to know they dont' have to be perfect to be accepted and purposed by God. Sounds like that is a message you can share.
I love that you shared Colossians 2:10 where it tell us that in Christ we have been made complete.
Stand on the foundation of God's word as truth, you are complete. He will give you the ability to do what He's purposed!
Alexis, I love the words of that song. Thanks for sharing!
Amazed that He still loves me too – and so thankful He does!
Crystal, how encouraging that God used this blog to give you words to share with your husband when he was struggling with doubt. That just blesses my heart today!
I am praying that God will clearly show you the was as you prayerfully consider leading a Family group. I have a feeling those doubts are coming from the pit. Satan would never want you all to step into leading other to Jesus and helping them grown.
Remember, God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies those He calls.
Praying and believing in God's best for you both!
Jekka, I love "Redeeming Love" – favorite book!! It's message is straight from God's heart.
You are beautiful. You are loved. You are precious and honored in HIS sight. He rejoices over you with singing today!
Michelle, you are a good momma. I know because if you weren't Satan might not be so threatened by your pursuit of being a Godly mom. I want to encourage you to click on January 2009 and all of my posts for that month will pop up.
Last January I did a whole month of encouragement for moms and I think Jesus has a special message tucked in one of those posts just for you.
Praying for you. I struggle with doubt as a working mom, too. Just give the best that you have and dont' let smutty face distract you from that will all those lies He is throwing your way.
Hugs,
Renee
Ann, thank you for having the courage to comment. Sometimes doubt whispers, "Who are you to comment? You have nothing to say. You're nothing special."
Well that is a lie from the pit of hell! Don't any of you let satan bully you with doubt about commenting here. You are special. You belong to Jesus. And you have something to say. Your life is HIS message. And I for one want to hear what HE has to say through you.
So if you are stopping by, please let us know you're here. Listening. Nodding. Or shaking your head 'cause you think we're pititful :-).
If so, will you pray for us who are such a "mess" and let us know where you are from and what your life looks like. How old are you? What do you do with your time? All that stuff is fascinating to me.
I'm kinda simple that way.
This is the first time I have ever commented on any blog, however, I just had too. As a 36 year-old woman I have been struggling with just letting go. I know God has entrusted me with talents to glorify his kingdom, but doubt consumes me. Always worrying about what other people were gonna think, now it's easier to just not deal with it. And I am struggling with it because I don't want it to be that way. Because he is in my life, I am a work in progress.
thanks
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Oh Renee! Your blog theme the past 2 days has almost brought tears to my eyes, because do you know where I hear that ever-so-subtle "You're not good enough"?….It is when I think about being a mom and the job that I do raising my 2 precious boys. I am a "working" mom, and by that I mean, I work outside of the home. (Anyone who is a mom knows we all work! :)) I feel like the devil has used so many "good" sources of encouragement lately to try to speak to my heart and say "You are not a good enough mom!" He has even used some of my sweet friends and they don't even realize it. I feel like I must frustrate God by giving him this same doubt over and over….but wait, I can't frustrate God, can I?! He loves me unconditionally, no matter what….and that is how I know that this doubt is a lie! But, oh how it hurts my heart! Each time something, no situation, whispers, "See there…if you stayed home with your boys this wouldn't have happened" or "If you poured all of your time and energy into your boys and didn't work outside your home, then you would have the PERFECT family" and then my favorite one of all, "Your kids may doubt your love for them because, by choosing work, you are saying that they are less important to you." Oh, the list goes on and on, doesn't it? Praise God for Grace and Mercy and Love! He continues to teach me just like I continue to teach my boys…and I feel like he speaks to me through His Word that work is good. Not to excess. Not at the total expense of my family. But that it is a good thing. I have screamed out so many times to the devil to just flee from me…to take his doubt and…well, maybe I shouldn't say what I told him to do with that doubt :)…but I tell you what I will do…I will take it to the foot of the Cross because there, and only there, are lies exposed for what they are, right underneath the precious blood of Jesus!
Your blog is such an encouragement, and I thank you for sharing with us so openly and freely. I actually began my "blog addiction" from your site and have just in the last week begun my own blog. Thank you!
Abundantly Blessed!
Michelle
fear that I'd look prideful thinking I could do something special for God.
Oh, I keep searching the depths of me and asking God if I am being prideful in the task I'm about to embark on… or is it truly Him who has set me on this course.
My heart is for young girls. Ages 8-12. They are our next generations. They will follow in our footsteps and society has so perverted the hearts and minds of these innocent babies that I am grieved.
I feel God leading me to start discipling young girls. Teaching and equipping and affirming them in who they are in Christ. And there is my problem. I begin to doubt that I can teach them anything when I waver so often in my own walk. But God is showing me that it's not about me and what I can teach them. But it's about Danielle dying enough to allow God to reign in me so He can teach and guide them. It's about me getting out of the way so God can show these precious young ones that He longs to use them… imperfections and all.
Colossians 2:10 says that in Christ I have been made complete. I lack for nothing. That is so hard for me to grasp, but I'm beginning to learn that it's truth. If I stand on the foundation of God's word as truth, then I am complete. I'm lacking in nothing. And because of this, because of Christ, and because of His authority–not mine–He gives me the ability to do what He's purposed!
I just feel lead to say that you, Renee, are so precious. Not only to God, but to those of us reading your blog. You are real and not afraid to share when you have doubts and that counts for alot when we are all just looking for other women to be honest with. Thank you for being so transparent and for being a vessel in which the Holy Spirit can minister to others.
As my daughter loves to say — You are awesome!
In Christ,
Danielle
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There is a worship song we sing at church and one of the lines is "I'm so unworthy and still you love me." and it just amazes me that as messed up as I am and all the mistakes I make, God still loves. He loves me with an everlasting love…there is no end to it! I will be forever grateful!
Hi Renee:
I was so glad I had read your blog yesterday when last night as my husband and I were preparing our lunches together he started discussing how he doubted his ability to do something.
We have been approached about possibly being leaders of a Family Group for our church and my husband is concerned that he isn't good enough, doesn't know enough, can't possibly be responsible for others' spiritual well-being.
Between the wisdom I found reading your blog, and my pastor's wonderful sermon this past Sunday about not relying on our own power but that of Jesus, I was able to minister to him not to let doubt cloud what God may be calling him to.
Now I can't say for sure if we are going to take on this task, my hubby is still praying about it, as am I. But it was great to have something to draw on in the wisdom department at that moment. Thanks so much!
God Bless,
Crystal
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I am reading "Redeeming Love" right now and your post today resonates with the theme of that book. I have failed, I have sinned (over and over again), why would He want to love me? Then I am reminded ever so gently that I am His child. A parent doesn't just give up on their child, they love them unconditionally. They hurt when their child makes mistakes but they are always there to support and love. I am SO glad that you provided me with this reminder today. Even more I am SO grateful that I am a child of His.
Blessings
Jessica