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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

I’m Learning to Let.It.Go.

I don’t know about you, but I love to do things my way! I love to know what to expect and have life fall into place and meet my expectations.

I love feeling like things and circumstances are in control – or that I am. And honestly, in some circumstances I need to be in control, but then there are those times when I need to let it go and trust God with the outcome. 

My friend Karen Ehman is a self-professed recovering control-freak. I love that about her! She’s joining me today to talk about her new book, Let.It.Go. Karen is my oh-so amazing-friend and ministry teammate with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She’s also the wife of one very wonderful guy (he helped move furniture and a huge wall hanging at my house not too long ago}! She’s also the mom of 3 great kids, a national speaker and 4-time author. Here’s a little about her new book and how you can win a copy!

Karen’s book Let.It.Go. will empower you to:

  • Take control of your schedule yet welcome interruptions from God
  • Draw the line between mothering and micromanaging
  • Influence your husband instead of manipulating him
  • Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances
  • Stop pursuing the appearance of perfection and start pursuing the person of God

*A companion 6 week dvd and Bible study guide is also available.

I had the chance to interview Karen about this new project. Here is what she had to say:

Karen, tell us a little about why you wrote this book. Are you a control freak?

Ummm….yeah! What woman isn’t about at least some aspect of life? We have so many areas that we must be in charge of—at home, at work, in the church and community. What happens is that we let our strengths of multi-tasking and getting jobs done morph into a weakness of being controlling.

So, are you saying controlling can actually be needed at times?

Of course we must control our homes and schedules and such. We should work with diligence and excellence. What we have to be careful of is going from being conscientious to being controlling. Being conscientious is doing a job well. Being controlling is trying to manipulate the outcome. There is a difference and we know deep down inside when we’ve crossed that line. This book helps women determine how to control what they should, trust God with what they can’t, and most importantly, how to decide which one is which!

What are some areas you cover in the book where women try to run the show?

We try to be in control of our homes, our schedules, our kids, our husbands, our circumstances, others’ opinions of us…..the list is long!

So what is at the root of why we women control?

We control because we don’t trust God. We think we know better than Him just what is best for us. It is as old as the garden of Eden. Well, guess what? God called and He’d like his job back!!

The holidays are coming up. Do they bring out the control freak tendencies in women?

Oh yes….in fact. One whole chapter of the book is about my friend Lisa Whelchel daring me five years ago to not make any decisions for a whole three weeks RIGHT AT THE HOLIDAYS!! It was painful. And actually, in the end, wonderful. I think this topic is so important that I’ve written a free five day resource for women dealing with the holidays called From Chaos to Calm: The LET. IT. GO. Christmas Challenge. Your readers can sign up for it here.

What is your prayer for the woman who reads your book?

I pray that through learning to relinquish control and let go of the reins, she will be able to grab hold of her faith. That her relationship with God will strengthen as she learns to stop trying to fix outcomes and get her own way but seeks His perfect will for her life—and the lives of her loved ones—instead.

Thank you so much Karen!! I’m so excited about your book! 

Enter to WIN: Click “Share your Thoughts” below this post and let us know why you’d like to win 2 copies of Karen’s new book, Let.It.Go. as well as a Starbucks gift card! Also, share on Twitter, Facebook and via email and link back to today’s post and then leave another comment for a second chance to win! {I’ll be announcing last week’s winner in another post shortly>}

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Comments

  1. Since we’ve moved overseas, I’ve been trying to learn to let go of the control of my family and the myriad of circumstances we face. I’m learning that nothing that happens to us is out of God’s control. We are trying to teach our kids they can’t control their circumstances, but they can control how they react to them. I am telling myself that as much as I’m telling them! As a control freak, this book would be an excellent resource. Is it available on Kindle?

  2. I am so excited about this book…both as a therapist AND as a Christian woman myself. Thanks, Karen! (And Renee for posting about tit! Can’t wait to read it. 🙂

  3. I would love to win this book; it might just be the begining to breaking free from all the yelling and nagging I am spewing out on a daily basis.

  4. I read your post and thought “It’s not possible to give up control!” I would LOVE to win your book. Two reasons: Tomorrow is my birthday and what a great present 🙂 but on a more serious note…..

    I was sexually abused as a child and am probably obsessive about having control. I think, in a situation like that, it’s hard to trust that it’s OK for someone else to have control – even God! So I’d love to read your book and continue working towards a better relationship with God.

  5. I sooooooooooooo need to read this book! I am very controlling and don’t know how to change! I’m forced to make all the decisions because I’ve been raising my 3 boys by myself for the last 13 years now.

  6. I would love to win two copies of this book ~ one for my adult daughter and one for myself. My daughter has learned a lot of her control tendencies from me. One area we try to run the show is in others’ opinions of us. My daughter’s is at her job and mine is in my personal life. We are both working on it, but have a ways to go.

  7. So many ladies need this type of encouragement!! It is so wonderful that you have put these common struggles into a Christian light so that other ladies can use God-driven tools on how to approach these crazy lives we try to lead! I need all the help I can get in that arena. Looking forward to finding this book to read!!

  9. ‘Let it Go’ – Wow, those are difficult words for me to apply to myself (but a lot easier to say to others). It is much easier to try to maintain control ourselves- but what an illusion without God. I would love to read this book.

  11. This book has my name (and several of my friend’s names) written all over it. I have been excited about this book and study since Karen announced it 2 months ago.

  13. I would love to win 2 copies, one for me and one to share with a friend who is really struggling with control and perfectionism right now. I would like to encourage her to do the study with me, so she could enjoy her life more fully.

  14. Saw a bit of me here and honestly….you gave good advice……I have a few bruised toes that you stepped on..but they will heal while I let others do a few things THEIR way! 🙂

  15. Hello
    I would love to win two copies of this book. One, most definitely for me but I would also like to give one to a friend so that we could do the book study together. It’s always bettter to implement changes with a true friend that loves you enough to hold you accountable to the changes you say you are going to make!

    I didn’t think I had any control issues but the more I prayed about it-the more I saw. Not in my home so much as in the ministries in which I serve. I don’t want to serve in a controlling way.

    God Bless you,
    Nancy

  17. I’m actually not a controlling person of other people’s lives. However, I do like personal control of my own life and I do know that when chaos hits in clusters it can unnerve me no end when it’s out of my control to fix or prevent and I don’t know where it’s all heading. That can send me scrambling. Those are the times I have the challenge of reining in my heart and emotions and focusing on God’s goodness to keep from acting in a panic or sliding down a slippery slope of despair. I hope you have a deep chapter on strengthening trust 🙂

  20. Just reading all the other comments about this issue makes me feel better. I thought I was the only one who always felt like she has to keep it all together. I have been blessed in so many ways yet I am constantly so overwelmed in my need to make sure ” I ” handle every detail that I don’t have time to enjoy my blessings!
    I so want a trusting relationship with the Lord but I just don’t know how. I have a note taped on my monitor at work that says ” Don’t worry about tomorrow…..GOD IS ALREADY THERE” I would love a copy of your book to help me take that leap of faith, I just can’t seem to get there on my own.