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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

I’m Learning to Let.It.Go.

I don’t know about you, but I love to do things my way! I love to know what to expect and have life fall into place and meet my expectations.

I love feeling like things and circumstances are in control – or that I am. And honestly, in some circumstances I need to be in control, but then there are those times when I need to let it go and trust God with the outcome. 

My friend Karen Ehman is a self-professed recovering control-freak. I love that about her! She’s joining me today to talk about her new book, Let.It.Go. Karen is my oh-so amazing-friend and ministry teammate with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She’s also the wife of one very wonderful guy (he helped move furniture and a huge wall hanging at my house not too long ago}! She’s also the mom of 3 great kids, a national speaker and 4-time author. Here’s a little about her new book and how you can win a copy!

Karen’s book Let.It.Go. will empower you to:

  • Take control of your schedule yet welcome interruptions from God
  • Draw the line between mothering and micromanaging
  • Influence your husband instead of manipulating him
  • Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances
  • Stop pursuing the appearance of perfection and start pursuing the person of God

*A companion 6 week dvd and Bible study guide is also available.

I had the chance to interview Karen about this new project. Here is what she had to say:

Karen, tell us a little about why you wrote this book. Are you a control freak?

Ummm….yeah! What woman isn’t about at least some aspect of life? We have so many areas that we must be in charge of—at home, at work, in the church and community. What happens is that we let our strengths of multi-tasking and getting jobs done morph into a weakness of being controlling.

So, are you saying controlling can actually be needed at times?

Of course we must control our homes and schedules and such. We should work with diligence and excellence. What we have to be careful of is going from being conscientious to being controlling. Being conscientious is doing a job well. Being controlling is trying to manipulate the outcome. There is a difference and we know deep down inside when we’ve crossed that line. This book helps women determine how to control what they should, trust God with what they can’t, and most importantly, how to decide which one is which!

What are some areas you cover in the book where women try to run the show?

We try to be in control of our homes, our schedules, our kids, our husbands, our circumstances, others’ opinions of us…..the list is long!

So what is at the root of why we women control?

We control because we don’t trust God. We think we know better than Him just what is best for us. It is as old as the garden of Eden. Well, guess what? God called and He’d like his job back!!

The holidays are coming up. Do they bring out the control freak tendencies in women?

Oh yes….in fact. One whole chapter of the book is about my friend Lisa Whelchel daring me five years ago to not make any decisions for a whole three weeks RIGHT AT THE HOLIDAYS!! It was painful. And actually, in the end, wonderful. I think this topic is so important that I’ve written a free five day resource for women dealing with the holidays called From Chaos to Calm: The LET. IT. GO. Christmas Challenge. Your readers can sign up for it here.

What is your prayer for the woman who reads your book?

I pray that through learning to relinquish control and let go of the reins, she will be able to grab hold of her faith. That her relationship with God will strengthen as she learns to stop trying to fix outcomes and get her own way but seeks His perfect will for her life—and the lives of her loved ones—instead.

Thank you so much Karen!! I’m so excited about your book! 

Enter to WIN: Click “Share your Thoughts” below this post and let us know why you’d like to win 2 copies of Karen’s new book, Let.It.Go. as well as a Starbucks gift card! Also, share on Twitter, Facebook and via email and link back to today’s post and then leave another comment for a second chance to win! {I’ll be announcing last week’s winner in another post shortly>}

Comments

  1. I have financial issues. Not because i don’t know how to spend or save what i have, but because i’m disabled and my monthly amount is not enough to even pay my meager amount of bills and Apt. rent let alone have anything to live on. I desperately want to control this and there is no way i can. I have to rely on God every month to see me through and it is so hard when i can’t fix it myself. I should be able to take care of me so this is very hard for me to deal with. I also have other control issues, i keep hoping to win a book because i can’t afford to buy one. My thoughts are if God wants me to have it somehow He will provide it. I just have to “Let It Go” and let Him.

  2. I just finished up the 5 day Christmas Challenge. I loved every devo! It got my mind off of myself and back on what matters most this season!

  4. I don’t really think of myself as a control freak…initially. But, then, I start to realize that I like things done in a certain way and as a result, I can get a bit cranky. Maybe it’s time for me to learn more about letting go.

    I think that learning with someone else is a great way to grow. I would love to win these books and, of course, the Starbucks gift card!

  5. Did my pastor tell you to send me an email encouraging me to “just let it go”? 🙂 It’s something I’m having a hard time with right now (even with his help). I welcome the chance to read and benefit from Karen’s book!

  6. Thank you for this wonderful resource! I have so needed this for quite some time as I working through ways to let go of my controlling nature. It is a daily journey; yet, I am now reaping the fruits of my labor. This resource will greatly enhance my journey! Thanks again!

  7. I signed up for the 5 day challenge, wow talk about timing.Just yesterdayI had a situation come up with my in-laws that I need to be prayful and loving as we go through this situation. THanks for the challenge and my boys are deciding where my furniture in my living room will go for the holiday season. Hmmm wonder how that will work out?

  8. I can tell from just the description that I need this book…like, yesterday. Just the description is stepping all over my toes! Ouch! I can’t wait to read it. While mothering three teenagers, I know I cross the line that you are talking about often. This book is just at the right time for me and my family.

  9. I’m super excited for this website.

    I’ve been learning what it means to be a woman of God so I’ll definitely be on your website often (thank you!). As for this book, one of my friends just got engaged this past weekend (!!!) and this is something she struggles with a lot- and another one of my friends just got married this past summer. I would really like to win these books for them. 🙂

  10. Would love to read this book!! I am definitely a control freak, always trying to make things perfect and stressing myself out (and others) instead of letting things go. I’ve been making a much bigger effort lately to let things go, walk with God and renew my faith.

  11. I find myself saying I’ll let God handle this, but before I know it I’ve grabbed “this” back. I find it very hard to truely let go. Carol

  12. I would love to read this book. I’m a little bit of a control freak myself (my husband may say that little is possibly underrated). I already have a good friend in mind to share the 2nd book with (and to share the starbucks giftcard too).

  13. Karen, Thank you so much for writting this book. My husband often reminds me to “Let it Go” and unfortunally I have not mastered that at all. It is something I struggle with a lot. I hope I have to opportunity to read your book and share it with my small group. 🙂

  14. I have a friend who is just like me. We love to control things. We both stress our selves out trying to control so much in our lives. I would love to share a book with her. We would both benefit from the book.

  15. I am so excited for this book; I’d love to win a copy! This is something I have already identified as a need in my life and how awesome to have a book to help guide me! I am definitely an over achiever that takes on too many things and needs to seriously learn how to Let go and Let God!!

  16. I really want to read the book Let.It.Go. God is showing me that I am very controlling. I don’t know why I feel like I need to be in charge and running it all. I put so much pressure on myself to do everything right, and I fail sometimes. Hoping to do this book/dvd study with some friends at some point. 🙂

  17. Your devotions are so inspiring and get me through each day with encouragement and blessings. I would love to win a copy of your book and one for a dear friend and relative that could benefit from it and bring joy and peach through Christ to her life. Thank you for all you do.

  18. I would love to get a copy of Karen’s book “Let It Go”. I am a total control freak and it leaves me stressed out and frazzled at the end of most days. I desperately need to let go of the control issues and let God take over.

  19. I think you had me in mind when you wrote this book. I so want to be in control all of the time. I want to be a better person, a better Christian, a better mom and a better wife. I would love to win your book. Thanks for sharing and being there for all of us control freaks.

  20. I really need a copy of this book. I feel this book or the whole devotion on “let it go” is purposely for me. This came at time when I thought I could get things done all myself relying on my abilities. But the devotion taught me other wise. I’ve now learnt to let God take control. Trust me since I started this I’ve experienced some inner joy n peace in my life. I put Him in control over everything including having a healthy lifestyle.
    I need this book, Im gonna get married next month, I really need to read so it will help me concerning my.marriage,husband, family n home to make me a better person. I’m from Ghana

  21. I know I still need a lot of help in this area. I would love to win a copy of the book and see what the Lord teaches me through it.

  23. I am so intreeged by this title, as I am so struggling AGAIN with letting things GO! Seams I learn how to let go and then some other circumstance comes along and poof…it all goes out the window again real quick…I have learned and know that God can do such a perfect job, so why am I still struggling with it again! It is very frustrating…this time it has to do with my daughter and God knows that is soooooo close to my heart!

    I look forward to reading this book! Thank you and God Bless you

  24. I can not wait to read this book!!! I loved everyone’s posts!!! I don’t think of myself as a control freak, but know that I am..to the point I’ve suffered depression and anxiety for over 20 years… I think if I take control everything will be ok or go right. I pray everyday for change…. Knowing God will take care of everything, but silently wondering, and I know I shouldn’t!!! Faith is what I crave!!!! Thank you girls so much for all the lives you have touched and helped!!!! I love you!!!!

  25. I need to learn to let God do the conttroling and I need to rest. I try to control way to much in my family and my life. I would like to share with a feirnd who dose the same things

  26. I have so much I need to let go of. I feel I really need to read this book. Thank for the opportunity to receive a free copy.

  28. I am a control freak that needs to let God Handle the tings that are beyond my control. I have a friend the same way

  29. You hit the nail on the head with the subject of this book. I’ve been looking forward to the release of this book since I first heard about it. My problem is letting things go and then trying to pick them up again! I loved how you talked about the difference between being conscientious and controlling. Do I really trust God with the outcome? I should but do I always? Sadly, that would be no but I want to improve!!! Thank you so much for tackling this subject and can’t wait for the online study of your book with Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Studies early 2013! Blessings!

  30. I would love to receive this book! I am especially interested in the parts about emotions. I am the worst at trying to control those. Everyone says that I am to emotional so if I could learn to tone it down a bit that would be great!
    Thanks,
    Christy

  32. Life is so out of control, I can’t even be in control anymore. Maybe that is God’s lesson in the whole thing.

  33. I am not a person who usually enter thing like this. I came from a father who was a very controling person. I hated it . i destised it. But as live goes, I became that person. All my life I have struggled with the Christian walk. I don’t know if it is because I want to control my life orI have trouble with the Father figure. I wonder sometimes that maybe I am afraid to let go. Your title stuck out and then the word control. I use to try to read to learn. But as I got older I quit. Maybe i need to get back to reading material again.

  36. Oh, how I’d love to be reminded that I’m NOT in control and that I should be daily asking the Lord to take the driver’s seat in my life. This morning’s devotion was beautiful timing to a rather ugly day.

  37. I so need this book right now. Lots going on with lots I can’t control and need to know how to deal with it.

  39. My friend Marcia and I just finished the Unglued series. It made such a difference in my life. My relationship with my teenage son is stronger than ever before. I want to ocntinue to grow in my relationships, especially with my family.

  40. Well, guess what? God called and He’d like his job back!!
    Love this…what a relief. Looking forward to learning to strike the balance of what I can and should control and what i must hand over.

  41. Since we’ve moved overseas, I’ve been trying to learn to let go of the control of my family and the myriad of circumstances we face. I’m learning that nothing that happens to us is out of God’s control. We are trying to teach our kids they can’t control their circumstances, but they can control how they react to them. I am telling myself that as much as I’m telling them! As a control freak, this book would be an excellent resource. Is it available on Kindle?

  43. I would love to win this book; it might just be the begining to breaking free from all the yelling and nagging I am spewing out on a daily basis.

  44. I read your post and thought “It’s not possible to give up control!” I would LOVE to win your book. Two reasons: Tomorrow is my birthday and what a great present 🙂 but on a more serious note…..

    I was sexually abused as a child and am probably obsessive about having control. I think, in a situation like that, it’s hard to trust that it’s OK for someone else to have control – even God! So I’d love to read your book and continue working towards a better relationship with God.

  45. I sooooooooooooo need to read this book! I am very controlling and don’t know how to change! I’m forced to make all the decisions because I’ve been raising my 3 boys by myself for the last 13 years now.

  46. I would love to win two copies of this book ~ one for my adult daughter and one for myself. My daughter has learned a lot of her control tendencies from me. One area we try to run the show is in others’ opinions of us. My daughter’s is at her job and mine is in my personal life. We are both working on it, but have a ways to go.

  47. So many ladies need this type of encouragement!! It is so wonderful that you have put these common struggles into a Christian light so that other ladies can use God-driven tools on how to approach these crazy lives we try to lead! I need all the help I can get in that arena. Looking forward to finding this book to read!!

  49. ‘Let it Go’ – Wow, those are difficult words for me to apply to myself (but a lot easier to say to others). It is much easier to try to maintain control ourselves- but what an illusion without God. I would love to read this book.