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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

I’m Learning to Let.It.Go.

I don’t know about you, but I love to do things my way! I love to know what to expect and have life fall into place and meet my expectations.

I love feeling like things and circumstances are in control – or that I am. And honestly, in some circumstances I need to be in control, but then there are those times when I need to let it go and trust God with the outcome. 

My friend Karen Ehman is a self-professed recovering control-freak. I love that about her! She’s joining me today to talk about her new book, Let.It.Go. Karen is my oh-so amazing-friend and ministry teammate with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She’s also the wife of one very wonderful guy (he helped move furniture and a huge wall hanging at my house not too long ago}! She’s also the mom of 3 great kids, a national speaker and 4-time author. Here’s a little about her new book and how you can win a copy!

Karen’s book Let.It.Go. will empower you to:

  • Take control of your schedule yet welcome interruptions from God
  • Draw the line between mothering and micromanaging
  • Influence your husband instead of manipulating him
  • Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances
  • Stop pursuing the appearance of perfection and start pursuing the person of God

*A companion 6 week dvd and Bible study guide is also available.

I had the chance to interview Karen about this new project. Here is what she had to say:

Karen, tell us a little about why you wrote this book. Are you a control freak?

Ummm….yeah! What woman isn’t about at least some aspect of life? We have so many areas that we must be in charge of—at home, at work, in the church and community. What happens is that we let our strengths of multi-tasking and getting jobs done morph into a weakness of being controlling.

So, are you saying controlling can actually be needed at times?

Of course we must control our homes and schedules and such. We should work with diligence and excellence. What we have to be careful of is going from being conscientious to being controlling. Being conscientious is doing a job well. Being controlling is trying to manipulate the outcome. There is a difference and we know deep down inside when we’ve crossed that line. This book helps women determine how to control what they should, trust God with what they can’t, and most importantly, how to decide which one is which!

What are some areas you cover in the book where women try to run the show?

We try to be in control of our homes, our schedules, our kids, our husbands, our circumstances, others’ opinions of us…..the list is long!

So what is at the root of why we women control?

We control because we don’t trust God. We think we know better than Him just what is best for us. It is as old as the garden of Eden. Well, guess what? God called and He’d like his job back!!

The holidays are coming up. Do they bring out the control freak tendencies in women?

Oh yes….in fact. One whole chapter of the book is about my friend Lisa Whelchel daring me five years ago to not make any decisions for a whole three weeks RIGHT AT THE HOLIDAYS!! It was painful. And actually, in the end, wonderful. I think this topic is so important that I’ve written a free five day resource for women dealing with the holidays called From Chaos to Calm: The LET. IT. GO. Christmas Challenge. Your readers can sign up for it here.

What is your prayer for the woman who reads your book?

I pray that through learning to relinquish control and let go of the reins, she will be able to grab hold of her faith. That her relationship with God will strengthen as she learns to stop trying to fix outcomes and get her own way but seeks His perfect will for her life—and the lives of her loved ones—instead.

Thank you so much Karen!! I’m so excited about your book! 

Enter to WIN: Click “Share your Thoughts” below this post and let us know why you’d like to win 2 copies of Karen’s new book, Let.It.Go. as well as a Starbucks gift card! Also, share on Twitter, Facebook and via email and link back to today’s post and then leave another comment for a second chance to win! {I’ll be announcing last week’s winner in another post shortly>}

Comments

  1. This book has my name (and several of my friend’s names) written all over it. I have been excited about this book and study since Karen announced it 2 months ago.

  3. I would love to win 2 copies, one for me and one to share with a friend who is really struggling with control and perfectionism right now. I would like to encourage her to do the study with me, so she could enjoy her life more fully.

  4. Saw a bit of me here and honestly….you gave good advice……I have a few bruised toes that you stepped on..but they will heal while I let others do a few things THEIR way! 🙂

  5. Hello
    I would love to win two copies of this book. One, most definitely for me but I would also like to give one to a friend so that we could do the book study together. It’s always bettter to implement changes with a true friend that loves you enough to hold you accountable to the changes you say you are going to make!

    I didn’t think I had any control issues but the more I prayed about it-the more I saw. Not in my home so much as in the ministries in which I serve. I don’t want to serve in a controlling way.

    God Bless you,
    Nancy

  7. I’m actually not a controlling person of other people’s lives. However, I do like personal control of my own life and I do know that when chaos hits in clusters it can unnerve me no end when it’s out of my control to fix or prevent and I don’t know where it’s all heading. That can send me scrambling. Those are the times I have the challenge of reining in my heart and emotions and focusing on God’s goodness to keep from acting in a panic or sliding down a slippery slope of despair. I hope you have a deep chapter on strengthening trust 🙂

  10. Just reading all the other comments about this issue makes me feel better. I thought I was the only one who always felt like she has to keep it all together. I have been blessed in so many ways yet I am constantly so overwelmed in my need to make sure ” I ” handle every detail that I don’t have time to enjoy my blessings!
    I so want a trusting relationship with the Lord but I just don’t know how. I have a note taped on my monitor at work that says ” Don’t worry about tomorrow…..GOD IS ALREADY THERE” I would love a copy of your book to help me take that leap of faith, I just can’t seem to get there on my own.

  11. Thank you for reminding me that every day God handles stuff that I cannot fathom being able to handle and it all works for the Good of God’s Plan!!! I can feel my Faith growing through these times. Would love the book!

  12. As a PERFECTIONIST, I find that things start to control me rather than me ever feeling like I’m in control! All in all, it’s all a matter of heart, attitude and style of thinking!

  14. I’d like to win this book so I can help myself learn how to let go, learn how to deal with my emotions when things don’t go my way. I want to be an example to my daughters and right now I’m not much of one.

  15. Renee, I really needed the devo this morning! Isn’t it amazing how God works? I would love the opportunity to win the books and I would share with women in my church. Maybe even lead a study on letting it go (of course, with Karen’s permission!)

  16. I think this would be a great study with some of my friends. I don’t think I’m a control freak, but I work with someone who is and maybe this would help me understand her a little better.

  17. I honestly believe Karen wrote this book about me! Everything mentioned in the recap above is something I need help with. This book would be a wonderful addition to my Proverbs 31 library. Thanks!

  18. I am looking foward to reading this book. I am facing some tough issues that are forcing me to trust God more. My walk with Christ is still very new so control is something I still struggle with. My work schedule doesn’t often allow me to attend church services so I’ve been reaching out…radio, internet, tv. There are so many tv pastors, books, websites its overwhelming. This is where I starting letting God take the wheel. He would know best what resources to look at or avoid altogether. Last year, I stumbled on KLOVE radio. They broadcast Lysa TerKeurst and Renee Swope’s radio segments so that is how I stumbled on Proverbs 31 Ministries and a wealth of blogs, devotions and other resources. Sorry for this long comment but I am sure had I not chosen to let God take control and say “Yes listen to that station” or “No. I don’t think that book has a message you need right now”, I wouldn’t be sitting here waiting to read Karen’s book. In fact, I don’t think I would know who Karen is either..lol..or commenting on this blog post. Thank you Karen and Renee for the opportunity to focus on this topic. God blesss.

  19. I would love to win this book….it sounds like just what I need to read at this time….as I struggle with health issues and other concerns. Thanks for the giveaway.

  20. I would love to have the Let. It. Gg book for my control hog self and for my good friend who is also a control freak. We make quite the pair! The good thing is that we can we laugh at how silly we are sometimes! This would be a perfect Christmas gift for her and a terrific Bible study we can do together!

  21. Would love to do this as a small group study! This is someting in my life I struggle with, due to my husbands job working 24/7 and raising two kids.

  22. I should win the copies of the book Let It Go , because for years I have been trying to take the place of the Lord and doubting what He can do in my life. I can honestly say i have wasted some years running the show when I should have basically “let go and let God”. I was trying to control a relationship that i was in and found out that without faith it is impossible to please God. Some months ago I gave myself to the Lord and began to dive into His presence like never before, and He has been so good. Now I do have a problem with patience and waiting but what I do is ” find and replace”, meaning whatever im worried about I replace it with Gods Word. Im not all the way there yet so I need to win these books so I will be able to trust God more and walk by faith and faith only. This will also help me to build a strong foundation with my relationship with the Lord. I deserve to win these books. God definitely knows my heart.

  23. Today has been a FULL day…My mom has been dealing with severe stomach problems bloat, nauseousness, etc. for over 2 months. A visit to the Er and a bunch of tests revealed nothing. She had an upper GI and just found out she has inflammation of the stomach & esophagus. And will have to have more tests (scary!) Praying
    Someone I know and admire just revealed she has breast cancer and she will have to take time off work. She shared a few other family struggles, her husband was recently in a head on collision,9I believe he is ok, no details) a new vehicle was required, her 2 young boys have something on the autism spectrum and one just had the flu so severe he lost 10 pounds in 9 days. My heart ached for her. Praying
    A friends called to confide in me that she found out her husband has been viewing pornography and he denies it but she checked out his computer and he has since deleted 35 contacts. She called me for
    advice, I told her the only thing I know to do is pray and ask God for wisdom.
    A couple at church the wife had previously had cancer and beat it. she now has it in her liver, had the part removed and goes through chemo again. Her husband has to have major surgery on his back Nov 24th (the problem is so sever if problem left alone he could become paralyzed) having vertebra removed an steel rods implanted in
    I was looking forward to an inspirational christian event The 12 Gifts of Christmas and was excited to win tickets to it yesterday only to find out today that they did not sell enough tickets to this city’s event so it is being canceled. ( i could have used the encouragement to recharge my batteries)
    Trying to be something for everyone is exhausting. I would love to bless someone with this book.

  24. I would love to read this book as it is a struggle for me to let go. I also see this happening in my oldest daughter.

  26. I have just became a subscriber to the 31 ministries and I have to say that I can already see a change in my life and the way God is now a big part of me again. I was so lost on a path of destruction and pain that it took hitting rock bottom and a good old slap in the face from the big man himself to get me on the right track in life again. I give all the glory to God and all my praise to him. I am proud to be a part of this subscription and I thank you for your many blessings. In God’s name I praise you.

  27. I feel like this book was written just for me. I’m the one that needs to Let more things go. Can’t wait to read it!!

  29. My daughter, Laura, and I have issues with letting go and leaving our problems at the feet of God instead of constantly worrying about them. My daughter has a young child and a husband on disability. She has a lot of responsibilities at home, church, and a new business. She feels overwhelmed and has not been able to keep to a schedule. Her 3 year olf gets to bed late. Dinner is always late. No time for herself and she tries to control her husband. I feel partly responsible since I live with them and I had control issues myself. I have found when you turn it all over to God, everything works out for the better. This book sounds like a God send and we both need it desperately. It would be a blessing to be able to receive this book as a gift. If not, we will have to save up to purchase it. Thank you

  30. i need to take that challenge. I will not make any major decisions from Dec. 15 to Jan 7th. I will put life in auto pilot and let God run the Holiday rat race. My girls will have college finals starting Dec. 17 to 21 and then be off for almost a month. My son is going to be off for two weeks at Christmas and is off all of next week. (Where as the girls only get a 4 day weekend)
    Lord Help me.

  31. I’d love to win a copy of this book so I can learn more how to hand my control issues over to God! How freeing that would be!

  32. I feel this book may help me in the area of restoring my joy. I have lost organizational skills and can feel very discouraged about it. When I can stay organized, I feel such freedom in my spirit and then find the time to reach out to bless others. Thank you, thank you for your thoughts to pull together our world of busyness AND our hearts towards God and others.

  33. First off, thanks for being real about this. I struggle with this a lot! Being a Pastor’s wife, people think you are to “have it together” and be in control and not struggle. But, this is my biggest struggle and I do need to give it back to God and not pick it back up! My husband and I were just talking about this very subject! And I would love to win 2 copies of this to share with ladies at my church! God Bless you both!

  34. Perfect timing for a book like this – just before the holidays! The holidays are big control times for me.

  35. Karen & Renee, thank you for focusing on this area of spiritual growth. For me, 40 years of being in control is enough! I’m ready to let.it.GO!!! 🙂 and to trust God more fully.

  36. All my boys really want me to read this book. I know some friends I could share it with also. We can laugh with and encourage each other with our imperfect progress.

  37. I would love to win 2 copies. I would read it and then give them away as gifts to my friends.

  38. I would love to win this book. I could use advice on how to “Let It Go” especially when it comes to doing things my way.

  39. Can’t wait to get started. Just what I need to help de-stress the upcoming “mad house”. Thank you KAren and Renee.

  40. I never thought about controlling as not trusting God. I’d like to win the book so I could read more about it.

  42. Sometimes you don’t have a choice in ‘letting go’. My husband died suddenly last year, and letting go has been the most difficult part of mourning his loss. 41 years of marriage. How can one let that go? He took care of me, my every need for all those years, and now I am alone. Yes, let it go…make sure that you are focusing on the most important things, the one thing really; time to love fully. Perhaps this book will offer some insight for this lonely pilgrim soul. Happy Thanksgiving!!

  43. I would like to win the book because I have been noticing my tendency to overbook my life. My husband reminded me that when there’s no peace in my decisions to do something, then it’s not from the Holy Spirit. I’m sure this book will show me how to find that balance!

  44. I follow Karen’s blog and have been wanting this book, but really cannot spend the money for it right now. There is alot going on in my life right now and my control freak tendencies are in overdrive. I cannot be a control freak to my 17 month old, she fights back. I cannot be a control freak with my Mother in law who lives with us, she has dementia and other health issues and has lost the ability to speak english. I cannot be a control freak when my kids are in school. I cannot be a control freak with my husband, even though I try my best, he is stressed out enough. Do I need this book, yes. Thanks for the opportunity!!

  45. I cannot wait to get a read through Karen’s new book! It sounds totally ‘written for me’! I would love to win a copy of the book!

  47. I know that I try to control too much and overthink every decision I am faced with. I think this would be a really helpful book and I would like to read it.

  48. Wow, this really hits home! I have signed up for the five day challenge. My mind says, “I can’t do this!!,” but I know with God’s help I can overcome my control freak tendencies. Thank you Karen for sharing your struggles and how you overcame them and inspiring the rest of us control freak moms to do the same.
    Please pray for me to overcome and enjoy this holiday season….out of control!
    I would love to win the two books so that I can read through this book with a special friend who shares the sames struggles.

  49. I so need to let go especially as my children are getting older. I definitely need to trust God completely.

  50. Oh, how this book would speak to my soul. I have far more to do than I can reasonably cope with and stay well and sane, and yet I don’t want to let anyone down. I know I ought to start saying no, but how can you, when you feel that God has led you to be on this committee and that committee and do this and that, oh yes, and the other. How do you actually STOP, and listen and learn and hear. Where is God in all of my mad life. We so like to be in control don’t we, and think we can fix things, in fact think we have to fix things. I can remember when I was young, my parents expected me to fix whatever I’d done wrong, and most things were always my fault – and I have carried this through to my adult life. I have to be in control and know what is going on otherwise I go into total panic mode. Oh dear, now I’ve started putting all this down in writing I can’t stop…… sorry! I would so love to win this book please!! God bless