I don’t know about you, but I love to do things my way! I love to know what to expect and have life fall into place and meet my expectations.
I love feeling like things and circumstances are in control – or that I am. And honestly, in some circumstances I need to be in control, but then there are those times when I need to let it go and trust God with the outcome.
My friend Karen Ehman is a self-professed recovering control-freak. I love that about her! She’s joining me today to talk about her new book, Let.It.Go. Karen is my oh-so amazing-friend and ministry teammate with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She’s also the wife of one very wonderful guy (he helped move furniture and a huge wall hanging at my house not too long ago}! She’s also the mom of 3 great kids, a national speaker and 4-time author. Here’s a little about her new book and how you can win a copy!
Karen’s book Let.It.Go. will empower you to:
- Take control of your schedule yet welcome interruptions from God
- Draw the line between mothering and micromanaging
- Influence your husband instead of manipulating him
- Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances
- Stop pursuing the appearance of perfection and start pursuing the person of God
*A companion 6 week dvd and Bible study guide is also available.
I had the chance to interview Karen about this new project. Here is what she had to say:
Karen, tell us a little about why you wrote this book. Are you a control freak?
Ummm….yeah! What woman isn’t about at least some aspect of life? We have so many areas that we must be in charge of—at home, at work, in the church and community. What happens is that we let our strengths of multi-tasking and getting jobs done morph into a weakness of being controlling.
So, are you saying controlling can actually be needed at times?
Of course we must control our homes and schedules and such. We should work with diligence and excellence. What we have to be careful of is going from being conscientious to being controlling. Being conscientious is doing a job well. Being controlling is trying to manipulate the outcome. There is a difference and we know deep down inside when we’ve crossed that line. This book helps women determine how to control what they should, trust God with what they can’t, and most importantly, how to decide which one is which!
What are some areas you cover in the book where women try to run the show?
We try to be in control of our homes, our schedules, our kids, our husbands, our circumstances, others’ opinions of us…..the list is long!
So what is at the root of why we women control?
We control because we don’t trust God. We think we know better than Him just what is best for us. It is as old as the garden of Eden. Well, guess what? God called and He’d like his job back!!
The holidays are coming up. Do they bring out the control freak tendencies in women?
Oh yes….in fact. One whole chapter of the book is about my friend Lisa Whelchel daring me five years ago to not make any decisions for a whole three weeks RIGHT AT THE HOLIDAYS!! It was painful. And actually, in the end, wonderful. I think this topic is so important that I’ve written a free five day resource for women dealing with the holidays called From Chaos to Calm: The LET. IT. GO. Christmas Challenge. Your readers can sign up for it here.
What is your prayer for the woman who reads your book?
I pray that through learning to relinquish control and let go of the reins, she will be able to grab hold of her faith. That her relationship with God will strengthen as she learns to stop trying to fix outcomes and get her own way but seeks His perfect will for her life—and the lives of her loved ones—instead.
Thank you so much Karen!! I’m so excited about your book!
Enter to WIN: Click “Share your Thoughts” below this post and let us know why you’d like to win 2 copies of Karen’s new book, Let.It.Go. as well as a Starbucks gift card! Also, share on Twitter, Facebook and via email and link back to today’s post and then leave another comment for a second chance to win! {I’ll be announcing last week’s winner in another post shortly>}
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Thank you for this message. This is an area of my life I am working on. My job of 13 years is ending as the year comes to an end. I am newly divorced this year, and have one son at home. I know that God does have a plan for me, and to provide for us. Thank you for the reminder to walk in faith…I look forward with anticipation of what He has in mind. I would appreciate reading your book and giving one to a friend that too is strugling with understanding God’s plan for her.
Thank you again for your heartfelt message.
I’m so excited about learning to Let. It. Go. with Karen. This has been a theme in my life as I learn to take responsibility for me and let others live however they choose. Yikes!! That’s scary especially when those others are dearly loved by me & of course, I know best. Lol letting God be our expert and leader can be hard. I love how Karen says to stop pursuing perfection and start pursuing the person of God!
Thank you for this timely message!
Greetings in Jesus’ Name:
This is a great post! I really appreciate this thought: “What we have to be careful of is going from being conscientious to being controlling.” Selah! I can surely try to be controlling at times, and it certainly doesn’t work often at all. This is sobering and thought provoking: “We control because we don’t trust God. We think we know better than Him just what is best for us. It is as old as the garden of Eden. Well, guess what? God called and He’d like his job back!!” 🙂 I so want to trust God and believe I am getting better at it, but, obviously, I haven’t made it. I like what the Amplified Bible says about trusting in, leaning on, and relying upon God. Whew! Why must it be so difficult to put into practice. 🙂 I guess I make it that way. God has been dealing with me about being .” “…swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath: for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20, NKJV) That would surely help with control issues.
I have a 15 (almost 16) year old daughter with whom I seem to always be at odds. The issue is invariably control – she wants to control and I SHOULD be the one in control. Maybe I need to find different words. 🙂 Thank you for helping me think on this a little more. God bless you all richly!
Looking forward to reading this book. I need to learn to let things go when it comes to stressing out about things that happen in my grown childrens lives.
Please, please “pick me” this has been one heck of a year. I am learning the hard way ALL of the lessons it looks like your book is teaching on. My husband and I were on a great path and, even though we know it is all in HIS mighty hands, I am having a miserable wrestling time ever since things completely jumped track. My husbands career had finally taken off only to be terminated his last day of 6 month training. We were planning on conceiving another child this summer, that was harder for me than him losing his job. I know I need to LET. IT. GO. in so many areas because I know that HIS plans for my life are SO much better than I can imagine, but the the hurt is also there. I would love to share the second book with so many different women, but I would give it to my mom. We are very much alike in our personalities of being “take charge” which more often than not tetters if not completely nose-dives into a control complex. I believe she would gain much from it in how to walk in relationships with not only me but also my younger sisters whom are both in college and striving to find balance between honoring mom and finding themselves. A good cup of coffee never hurt either! Thanks for sharning this book with us! Even if we are not picked to win, I have it on my Christmas wish list! Thank you Karen for your heart!
I have read the Chaos challenge, I am going to try my best with the help of God to not be controlling during the Holidays. My fear is that if I don’t do the cleaning and the cooking and the decorating it won’t get done. I did start practicing the concept just the other night. My husband and I were talking about ordering some gifts from the company I work for, we went over the list of reciepents together and then picked out the gifts for each together, instead of me just ordering what I thought they should get. Not only did we get something accomplished but we were spending time together. He says I need to get a chair in my home office so he has somewhere to sit.
What a great devotion. Something I sorely need to put into practice. I try so hard to control what might happen in the future. Does that make sense? I don’t know, but that is the way I feel. I think too much about what the future might hold that I can hardly function here in the present. I love Psalm 103 that Renee mentioned in her devotion. It is one of my favorites. The book sounds like something I really need and I would love to win a copy. I also know someone to give a copy to. Thanks for your encouragement today.
I need this book!!! This has been a struggle for me since a young age. I try to control things because I feel that my life has been so out of control. Ever since I was molested by a VERY close female in my life for only God knows how long…my life has felt out of control causing me to try to control everything and everybody… The things and the people I cannot control I seem to quit or give up on… I need help…
I have got to learn how to pet things go! I would love to win a copy of this book and share it with some close friends and family. I am looking forward to reading this book and learning how to let. It. Go!
Let it go…..It would be so nice to be able to not let your adult children lives impact you so much. How do you let it go when you see your kids hurt and know you could help but it’s best to stay out of it. Mother’s love is hard to turn off!!! I would love to read this book and just Let it go and let God have it!
Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances. That is the draw for me. I have two kids with special needs and frankly there is a lot I can’t control. But I’d love to learn how to control my emotions. Looks like a great book
I am a control freak. Oh, I’ve gotten a little better than I used to be. Over the years, I have learned to let go in some areas, but that just means the ones where I haven’t let go are the really tough ones, the areas that I am holding onto for dear life. I know this book will help me. Plus, today is my birthday.
I would love to win the book to give away to one of my christian sisters. I have already ordered it for myself. Seems I am always trying to control someone especially my daughters and husband, or my circumstances. When what I really need to do is learn to controll my self. Having just finished the unglued online bible study, I am doing my best to make some impertect progress. Can’t wait to read this book.
I am happy to find out that I am not the only one with these struggles. I just added a book to my Wishlist.
Being in control has been a way of life for as long as I can remember and now as I truly admit to being an empty nester that control tendency is rearing it’s head even more. I continue to heap responsibilities on myself thinking I need to do it all while realizing that I’m filling my days with more stress than God intended for me to have. I’d love winning two copies of Karen’s book so I can share one with a friend and we can study it together and pray for each other.
I am not a control freak with every aspect of my life, but feel that I can benefit from this book as I learn to let go of worry & self-doubt. I am my biggest critic, like most women. I am searching for a way to live more freely and value myself like He values me! I would be honored to receive 2 copies of this book, one for me and one for my sister. Thank you for the consideration! Have a blessed day!
I think Karen’s book will help me focus on God more and help me keep from irritating my husband. I would share it with friends also!
Thanks Renee for sharing this message. I am so looking forward to receiving my book and the DVD study. I believe Karen has a timely message for me. Blessings.
I just recently realized I’m a control freak. I used to have a different name and point of view for it. As my kids have grown they have shared their points of view… We didn’t match! I’d like to win 2 copies of this book so I can do it with my adult daughter. Then blog about it! 😉
I really appreciated reading this today. I’m not a mom and I’m not even married. But I am trying to figure out God’s plan for my life and who I am supposed to be with (as far as a significant other) is very much a part of my inner control freak. I’ve already experienced the loss of a spouse at the age of 25 where I had no choice in letting go. Relationships now are a lot different, I’ve found someone that I think is worth committing to (again) but he’s not ready. This is where the “letting go” gets hard…stirring up past emotions. It would seem that understanding that its okay to let go in so many different areas would end up helping in this area as well. Control is a scary thing. And the irony of it is that we think it is easier to control….but isn’t it actually easier to let go and let Him handle the details and the concerns? That is the conclusion that I’ve come to…I’m just trying to figure out how to comply. Thank you so much for the obvious….I love the part where you say “God called and He’d like his job back.” 🙂 God Bless!