I couldn’t silence the words used to describe how much I’d disappointed her.
An email filled with criticism had slipped into my inbox that week and it hurt my feelings … for days.
The shooting pain of failure, regret, and flaw-focused thinking struck like lightening through my heart.
That one email set off a storm of self-doubting emotions. It’s amazing what one person’s criticism can do.
When my children or someone criticizes me as a mom, I’ll start doubting myself as a mom. When someone criticizes me as a friend, it will doubt my ability to be a good friend. Ten people could say something nice to me or about me, but what I will remember most is that one person’s criticism. How about you?
After being tossed and turned by the winds of my people-pleasing tendencies, I finally called a friend to process my emotions and the harsh email. With wisdom she told me:
“Renee, you’ll never be perfect. And if you ever get to where you are, you will be all alone!”
Boy, she was right!
I am not perfect.
I’ll never be perfect.
And if I ever get there, I will be all alone.
Sweet friend, I don’t know if you ever feel like a failure ~ completely imperfect and full of flaws – like I do sometimes. But here is what I do know ~
Jesus was the only perfect Person to walk this earth… yet He was constantly criticized.
But, guess what? Nowhere is it recorded in scriptures that Jesus ever doubted Himself. No matter what, He stayed secure in His purpose and confident in His calling.
That day, my friend spoke reality into my reeling feelings. And God used her wisdom to reminded me: Jesus depended solely on His Father’s approval.
What His Father said {about Him} was all that mattered {to Him}. And that is what He wants for you, too.
No matter what, God loves you and He is there for you… not to criticize you but to encourage you.
- He is there in the midst of your sometimes lonely, imperfect life… when your disappointments and failures leave you empty and make you doubt your worth and purpose.
- He is there when you’re going through the motions, aware of what needs to be done but afraid you won’t be able to do it all.
- He is there when you’re criticizing yourself and questioning whether you have what it takes to be a godly woman.
He sees you. He notices all you do and He knows what you need. Today He is pursuing you with the gift of His perfect love — love that is patient and kind, love that keeps no record of your wrongs, love that won’t ever give up on you!
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Thank you Renee and also the P31 writers. Your encouraging words really make a difference in so many lives.
I have felt like something must be wrong with me for quite awhile now because of how my life seems to have fallen apart in so many areas. Thank you for reminding me that it’s ok that to have something wrong with me. It doesn’t matter because my God who is perfect loves me just as I am.
Thank you – much needed today and most days. I think we as women have so many roles and its hard to get everything done the way we THINK it needs to be that the doubts set in so easily. And then there is the whole thing with trying to please everyone.
Yes, Jesus is our soft pillow land on. Feel so blessed to have that.
Thanks!
Thanks so much for this today. I am currently at a point in my life where I feel as if I can’t catch a break….and through all of it have never felt more alone. I needed this reminder that He is there for me even when no one else is….those times when I feel so alone, afraid, and a constant failure and disappointment to others. I appreciate this so much.
Thank you, Renee, this is just what I needed to hear this morning. My husband has been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and I feel so inadequate as a wife and care giver. I keep trying to make sure everything is perfect so there is no stress for him. Unfortunately, I am failing miserably. I know that I am not perfect and never can be. However, hearing those words your friend told you made me realize that even more. I can’t do it alone, but I can do it with God and all the people he puts in my life to help me. Again, thank you. My heavy heart is much lighter now. Bless you always!
WOW Renee.
Your sharing “Jesus was the only perfect Person to walk this earth… yet He was constantly criticized. But, guess what? Nowhere is it recorded in scriptures that Jesus ever doubted Himself. No matter what, He stayed secure in His purpose and confident in His calling. What His Father said {about Him} was all that mattered {to Him}.” REALLY SPOKE TO MY HEART! I’m going to write that in my journal.
Thank you cannot begin to say how grateful that I am to have come across this devotional today. Just when I felt like giving up, this came though my email. Thank you
I have read your book, Renee and cannot t\ell you how much it helped me. I find myself going back to it again and again when I fill with self-doubt. I know I will never be perfect…no one is…but I can learn to love myself and be confident in who I am. Thank you for all you do!
Thanks for the devotional!
This devotional sounds awesome! There has been a lot of hurt in our family, so it is hard to know how to even act. Thank you for all you do!
Thank you so much Renee for letting the Lord use you to help encourage us with the words He’s given you to speak into our lives exactly when we need them. I do & have been feeling like such a failure these days even though I know the Lord has my back and that I’m doing what I know He’s wanting me to do at the time. Or should I say I know I’m on the path He’s put me on. I’m feeling like such a failure with regards to my finances and in raising my kids. I’ve done a pretty good job considering I’ve had to do so on my own. Yet I’m lost in knowing how to help guide my oldest son into the next step of becoming an adult and finding a job & learning to helping to provide for himself with the Lords guidance. I would enjoy to have this package for one I am in a point I’m really not able to afford it even though I know the Lord has guided me to seeing this post and get this devotional. I feel He is just guiding me to enter to try it this way 1st and well if nothing comes of it then He will show me how to go about purchasing it.. Anyway, I pray that you consider me when deciding on who will get this beautiful package. God Bless & thank you again for letting the Lord use you.
Thank you Renee for this blog post, I was having a rough day allowing the devil steal my joy due to my past actions, hurts or rejections. Your summary about Jesus looking only to God the father for approval was a great reminder of what I need to do.
Thank you for your devotions, they really speak to my heart. I keep “wishing” I could be bold and confident, I am working on this daily and some days are better than others. I know God strengthens me and He is a reminder of unconditional love. I would love to have this package to share with my daughter, as a reminder of “A Confident Heart”.
Renee, your writing is so fresh and inspiring. Like a salve to my heart. This morning after a call to a friend for coffee (ugh, I woke her up) I felt not good enough, cool enough, independent enough, enough…enough. Thank you for this encouragement today that I am a child of God and in Him, I am enough. I pray I can live according to what is important to Him instead of trying to keep up with my own people-pleasing tendencies and the exhausting measures I take to try to present the best, most “perfect” version of me all.the.time. Blessings to you!
I can’t tell you how much I love A Confident Heart. It is a perfect book for everyone. I love how you incorporate the scriptures within your messages. God bless you!!
Never did I realize until being a stay at home mom, how much we criticize our selves and strive for perfection. Not realizing we are never going to reach perfection. I’m so thankful for Gods perfect love and the strength and peace he provides through the holy spirit. Stay focused on the Lord!
I need to hear this every day! I don’t usually think of myself as lacking self confidence, yet when it comes to my spiritual self confidence, I am very weak and timid. Thank goodness God loves me right where I am today.
I needed to hear this today. I am not where I want to be and it seems like my ideals are getting further and further away from me. I’ve been thinking all kinds of negative thoughts but now I will stop and remember this blog and what God’s word says. Thank you so much for sharing!
Dee
Renee, I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for bringing this message forward today. I am a woman trying very hard to be what God wants me to be. I have been dealing with a lot of misgivings about myself and my confidence has reached an all time low recently. I needed this reminder that I am not alone and that it is ok that I am not perfect.
Every since I was little I always had issue with rejection and being alone. Since I wasn’t raised by my parents I felt if your they didn’t want you nobody else will. So as I go through life I always doubt everything I do and say, I still walk around with the shame of feeling that I will never being worthy of the love that God has for me or be a God woman to live out my purpose. I alwasy look at the negative and think that i’m only surpose to have the bad things in life never the good.