It has surprised me how quickly I fell for these two precious girls. But then I remembered the hours I spent this weekend looking through our agency’s private photo web album to find the girls in snapshots. I looked in the background to see if I could find them on the playground, in the classroom and in the dining area of the agency. I found a few and felt like I had spent time watching them play. They didn’t know I was there but my heart was falling in love each time I saw them.
Their sweet photo is on my desktop. It’s also in my Bible and was with me all day. I know God brought them to me for a reason and I will pray for them daily until He takes the memory of their faces from me. I had started writing letters to them and praying scriptures for them in my heart. I know He will take these treasures and use them for His purposes, whether I ever know it or not.
At first I felt like God didn’t want us to give up to easily. Maybe we needed to fight to get the girls. Last night I felt compelled to pray that He’d make a way where there is no way. I prayed believing and I still do. I just know that I also have to let go and trust what He has next for us. We found out today that the adopting family visited the orphanage recently and went through the orphanage to make arrangements to adopt them. Their dossier is complete and it is being processed. It looks like this is their forever family after all and when I stop crying, I will be happy for them. I promise I will!
I need to not feel so sad for much longer. I have radio recording tomorrow and need to be strengthened in my spirit to encourage others as I record these shows. There is so much more going on in the world around me but this news has made my little world tilt just a little of center today.
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OH…this stinks!! I wonder what God is thinking when He allows stuff like this to happen?
His ways are higher..His ways are higher..that’s what I have to tell myself. I will be praying for you Renee. You have such a sweet heart. I just posted on a little girl taken out of my parents home after 20 months….the hardest thing.
Lean on Him my friend.
Love,
Lelia
Oh, Renee, my heart hurts for you! I have a friend who just recently decided they would stop the process of trying to adopt another child…and she voiced exactly what you said…it feels like she has had a miscarriage.
I am lifting you up today! And I thank you for your total honesty! We all need to be reminded that He is a safe place to pour out our hearts completely! And thank you for sharing because it is a privilege and a blessing for us to be able to lift one another up.
Lifting you up! Huge hugs to you!!!!
Love and prayers,
Kimberly
Praying for you. God bless.
Renee, I can’t even imagine your disappointment and heartache.
I pray that as His mercies greet you each morning you are comforted.
How is today breathing for you, friend? I hope with some fuller perspective. I’ll be praying for you tonight.
peace~elaine
I’ve continued to pray for you today — time to be sad but also the strength you need.
Love you.
Amy
Renee,
I feel sad with you. I have followed your quest towards adoption and know that your heart is broken.
You will be in my prayers,
Blessings,
pat
Renee,
It has been 16 years since I lost my daughter to miscarriage. It is OK to hurt. God understands and knows our pain. I am going through lose again in my life. My support system tells me I just need to allow myself to hurt and grieve.
In the spring when Steven Curtis Chapman lost his daughter. His wife said the most comforting thing. She said that the human side of her hurt, but she was grieving with hope.
Lifting you up my sister.
Hugs,
Diane
Renee,
I am praying for all of you. I can only imagine what you are feeling. I pray that you will continue to run to your loving Father for your comfort.
Charlene
Father, I pray that you would be with Renee. Lord, sometimes we don’t understand, and yet we trust. I pray that you would comfort her, encourage her and continue to lead her family to the precious children you have handpicked for them. I thank you that you are close to the broken hearted! Oh, that she would be strengthened in you!
Through this post you have comforted those who feel like its wrong to cry out and question God, you have brought comfort to those who have felt sad and all alone and lost in the middle of God’s plan.
I am praying and knowing He will bring comfort to you.
Hi Renee… our adoption process had it’s own “miscarriages” too. It’s hard in a way that most will not understand, but it’s very real. Hang in there girlfriend and keep on trusting in Him.
Renee, I read your post this morning…and have been praying for you off and on all day…(and will continue to). I was reminded that each one of your tears the Lord has seen and felt and is saving.
Teresa
Renee, I’m so sorry. I know it’s hard and I won’t try to comfort you with what you already know in your heart to do…I’ll just be in prayer for you. Bless your heart!
Oh Renee, I’m so sorry. I stopped and prayed for you, JJ, and the boys as soon as I finished reading your post. I will continue to lift you up as you work through these feelings.
Sweet Blessings my friend,
Dawn
Renee–praying for you as you mourn the loss of THIS dream, and praying that God moves you quickly to His hope and joy.
Rest in His arms.
God bless!
Renee, I’m so sorry you lost ‘your’ girls! What a heart you have to have let them in so completely already. I will pray that the Lord will comfort you with knowing He has provided them a loving family who will care for them well. And He loves you too.
Mary