If only someone could have peeked into my heart. If only someone could have known what I needed and planted seeds of His unconditional love and truth in my heart as a girl …
From the heart of my friend and amazing author/ministry teammate, Lynn Cowell:
All summer she’s been so free; so confident. Days of pony tails and swimsuits, my daughter wakes up each day to her carefree world. No worries about her make-up; she doesn’t wear any! No concerns about her wardrobe; gym shorts fit most every occasion.
As the first day of school approached, I watched her fight to hang on to her confident summer-self. Not wanting to go backward, she has struggled to stand in God’s love and embrace who He has created her to be. It’s been a daily fight as she counted down the days.
Confidence is a major factor in young people when it comes to how they feel about themselves and profoundly affects the decisions they make. Craving acceptance, approval, and affirmation, they’re tempted to make choices that will move them forward on the popularity scale or at least not cause them to stand out. Uncomfortable, miserable even, they don’t know they were made for more than fitting in.
I have found a major key in building confidence in my daughters: teaching them that Jesus is wild about them.
Understanding Jesus is the one who fills the love gap in their hearts, empowers them to not grasp at love from guys and girls alike. Truth that Jesus was wild for them (Psalm 45:11), He sees no flaw in them (Song of Songs 4:7) and He actually enjoys them (Zephaniah 3:17) transforms the way they see themselves. But before that transformation can start, they have to know this truth and that begins with hearing it every day.
Lasting confidence only comes from one source: knowing who they are. Only a foundation built on unconditional love stands. Do you see a girl struggling with low self-image? Can you read in her eyes, “Won’t someone love me the way I am?”
She needs to know when Jesus looks at her, He is not disappointed in her. She needs to know that love from a guy, be it a dad or a boyfriend, can never fill the love gap in our hearts…but He can. This is the truth she needs every day to combat the lies the world tells her.
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ENTER TODAY’s GIVE-AWAY: What is one thing you would tell your 14-year old self or a teenage girl growing up today about God’s Love? Lynn and I would love to know. And she’s going to give one of you a signed copy of “Devotions for a Revolutionary Year,”. To enter to win, simply click on the word “comments” right below this post and type in the white box to share with us.
Do you want to help pour this truth into the young women in your life? On her website, Lynn is offering a FREE “Faith Builder” – seven devotions taken straight from her new book, “Devotions for a Revolutionary Year: 365 Days of Jesus’ Radical Love for You”. These devotions will build up the faith of the girl in your life, be it your daughter, niece and/or granddaughter so she can be filled with a confidence that is true and can stand the pressure of this world.
To celebrate the release of Devotions for a Revolutionary Year, Lynn is giving away over $75 in free contentwith each purchase! Simply purchase Devotions for a Revolutionary Year from September 4th – 11th and e-mail your receipt to [email protected]. You will receive in an email with a link to this free content on Lynn’s website at www.LynnCowell.com.
And the WINNER is…. Jennifer {announced September 19, 2012}
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That there isna difference in Joy & happiness. That Joy comes from God and happiness is circumstances. With Joy, we can get through anything. That God loves her and only through God can she have true Joy. That joy or even happiness can not come from a boy or man, friends or popularity. That God created her, knows her, and loves her. Always rely on God, He can get you through anything!
I would tell her to let go of the fear of man/people pleasing. Jesus is the only one who can tell us who we were made to be.
I am telling her (my 13 year old) that she is uniquely and wonderfully made by her heavenly Father! …and God is faithful and will always love her even more than her earthly father and I. God loves her just as she is and loves her no matter what she does or doesn’t do. He loved her so much, He sent His son to die for her sins so that she could spend eternity with Him. But thank God, she can know Him right now, right here on earth too. She doesn’t have to wait to have that fantastic relationship!
I have a 14 yr old granddaughter who is struggling with self image & confindence. I am looking forward to bringing her with me to see u Lynn on Sat. I am always telling her how beatiful she is and what a treasure she is – God sees her exactly like that .
So many young ladies would be helped with this book.
If I could have told myself something when I was in middle school or high school I would have reminded her often of the strengths and talents that god had given her. I would remind her that she is valued for very specific reasons why she is valued and special. These are things that I have been working on build in my daughter from a young age because I wish I had that person who told me these things. Your worth is so much greater than what these surroundings will admit
To my grand daughter, I say how beautiful she is and that she doesn’t need to feel pressured by the images presented by the world around her. I tell her that God knew her before she was even born and that her life is precious in His sight. When her friends turn against her I tell her, pour her heart out, then trust God that he will restore those friendships or find her more worthy ones. I tell her to resist following the crowd and follow her dreams- she is unique and has many yet to be fulfilled talents. It has been said to her that when she was concieved , she was a mistake- I tell her there are no mistakes with God, she is the apple of His eye.I tell her that God knew her before she was even born and tht her life is precious.I tell her that I love her and show her in many practical ways just how much and remind her that she is part of a large loving family and that she has a valued place in it, that no-one else can fill.
This will be so helpful for 3 of my granddaughters. Thanks so much for making such great material available to us.
I would tell her to know GOD and how awsome he is before you try to know man!!
I would read Psalm 139 a lot. I really like vs 17-18. His thoughts about us or for our daughters are precious and numerous !
I would tell myself….God loves you just the way you are. Don’t listen to the world. Don’t compare yourself to others. Just listen to your heavenly Father. You were made for a purpose, stop chasing worldly perfection and listen to God for your heavenly purpose. Rest in his unconditional love. There you will find peace!
WOW – I have loved reading your comments tonight. Im praying them over my girl – who is almost 4 :0)
Oh sweet Jesus, help us preach these truths to our own hearts and to the ones YOU have put in our care.
I would tell my fourteen year old self that no boy and no amount of performance will ever be able to fill the hole in her heart. I would do my best to help her see that instead of continually performing to earn love, instead of working so hard pursuing love, she could just stop at any moment and simply RECEIVE the love of the One pursuing her. I did not know. I did not realize Someone already found me beautiful, Someone already desired true and intimate relationship with me. I did not know Someone loved me just as I was, no performance required. I did not realize that even though I had stopped thinking about Jesus several years before then that He had never stopped thinking about me.
I would tell my 14-year old self that God created me and He sees me as beautiful. That He loves me and I was no accident, none of those “you got picked up from the trash can” stories. That even though there may be dark days ahead, He will not leave me but will walk with me as long as I keep holding on to His hand. And even though earthly parents fail, He is a good Dad, a faithful Dad, a loving Dad. Even through friends betray or leave, He is a good Friend, a faithful Friend, a loving Friend. In Him, I am accepted.
I am currently raising a 13 year old step daughter that suffers with low self esteem. We always try to encourage her, uplift her and make her feel beautiful and loved trying to teach her to see herself the way God sees her. This is one of the most challenging times for me! I want her to slow down, enjoy where she is today and not be in such a rush to grow up!
I do tell my 14 year old daughter to put ALL of her faith in her heavenly father GOD, that He will NEVER disappoint as humans whether intentional or not always will. I tell her that He made her perfect just the way she is!!
I read this Devotinal just after visiting with my son. He is 18 and he just moved into his own apt last month and I was listening to him talk about his brand new girlfriend. He is a little nervous and scared about life as he is on his own with bills and how to do things and be responsible for everything including cleaning and laundry and cooking and shopping and is often calling me to help him as he picks out laundry detergent and when to pay his bills etc. He just met this new girl who has a wild past. So I would think this book could help and would have truth in it for my son. Truth to help him know that he doesn’t need to settle for girlsfriends who are troubled or have their own issues just to feel noticed or special or less scared about the uncertainties of life. That God loves him and thinks he is special and is right there beside him. And God can fill the longings of his heart. And maybe after he learns these truths he could share them with this girl to help her too.
Hi Renee. First of all, I just want to say thanks so much for this message. You are a God send as I have been wrestling with how and what to say to my granddaughter who is struggling in so many ways. She is about to enter middle school. She is not with me and now resides with her mom and stepdad, which is not the best situation. She is beautiful, smart, and gifted in so many ways. Yet, she doesn’t get it at all and instead I see the manifestations of a girl who has to be strong and defensive in a home where all she hears is conflict. I am grateful to have had parents who loved me unconditionally and saw to it that my spiritual self was nurtured as well. They were not church goers but the way they lived their lives and taught us values and served others, not just family but community was nothing but Christ in them.
I would tell any14 year old, and especially my granddaughters that who are not there yet, God loves them unconditionally, flaws, mistakes, attitudes and all. That they can count on HIM always to be there for them, to want the best and to guide them toward the best He has for them. So,even if they have the most terrible of days, just knowing that there is One who loves you no matter what, is reason to celebrate,to be willing to be different, and to seek that Love of God always, first and foremost. If they do that, life will be full, lacking nothing and abundant blessings will follow them wherever life takes them. Thanks for giving me the confidence to tell her what I know for myself ,from a God, my Lord and Savior, who is well able to fill every longing of their heart, if they will seek His face and accept His love.
I would tell a 14-year old to focus on their inner beauty. As hard as it may be, outer beauty is only temporaroy and fades away. However, with a wonderful inner beauty and a focus on the King who fearfully and wonderfully made you, you will be radiant no matter what.
Dear 14-year-old self,
You are about to enter the whole new world of high school. And though Grandma, your biggest cheeleader, your Jesus with skin on sitting right in the big old buffalo plaid chair in the sun parlor, praying, though she is gone, you are not alone. Jesus is as real as Grandma. He loves you so much. You are so precious to Him. He will be there when the late night fights begin between mom and dad…He will love you when you feel so unloved, when it looks like sex means love…and everybody seems to be doing it. He will be there in the emptiness when you fall, when you make a mistake. Don’t forget to talk to Jesus about all the tough things…the insecurity, the belief that you are fat, the belief that you must compromise to be popular, the decision to drink or not to, the belief that the careless, thought less words hurled by mom are true…that you’re not good, you’re worthless, you’re lazy. Those are lies. You are so precious; you are worthy of unfathomable love. You are loved just as you are…and if you hold on to that love, instead of the fake love that popularity makes you feel, you can hold out on experimenting with things that will leave you guilt ridden, empty, and full of remorse. Jesus is speaking to you, “Hold on to me. I am here right now…sitting beside you. I am holding you when you feel lonely and forgotten. I love you so much…you are mine and I will keep you in my arms. I see you. I know you. I love you!” This season is but a flash…Have fun, good old fashioned fun! Love, Me