If only someone could have peeked into my heart. If only someone could have known what I needed and planted seeds of His unconditional love and truth in my heart as a girl …
From the heart of my friend and amazing author/ministry teammate, Lynn Cowell:
All summer she’s been so free; so confident. Days of pony tails and swimsuits, my daughter wakes up each day to her carefree world. No worries about her make-up; she doesn’t wear any! No concerns about her wardrobe; gym shorts fit most every occasion.
As the first day of school approached, I watched her fight to hang on to her confident summer-self. Not wanting to go backward, she has struggled to stand in God’s love and embrace who He has created her to be. It’s been a daily fight as she counted down the days.
Confidence is a major factor in young people when it comes to how they feel about themselves and profoundly affects the decisions they make. Craving acceptance, approval, and affirmation, they’re tempted to make choices that will move them forward on the popularity scale or at least not cause them to stand out. Uncomfortable, miserable even, they don’t know they were made for more than fitting in.
I have found a major key in building confidence in my daughters: teaching them that Jesus is wild about them.
Understanding Jesus is the one who fills the love gap in their hearts, empowers them to not grasp at love from guys and girls alike. Truth that Jesus was wild for them (Psalm 45:11), He sees no flaw in them (Song of Songs 4:7) and He actually enjoys them (Zephaniah 3:17) transforms the way they see themselves. But before that transformation can start, they have to know this truth and that begins with hearing it every day.
Lasting confidence only comes from one source: knowing who they are. Only a foundation built on unconditional love stands. Do you see a girl struggling with low self-image? Can you read in her eyes, “Won’t someone love me the way I am?”
She needs to know when Jesus looks at her, He is not disappointed in her. She needs to know that love from a guy, be it a dad or a boyfriend, can never fill the love gap in our hearts…but He can. This is the truth she needs every day to combat the lies the world tells her.
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ENTER TODAY’s GIVE-AWAY: What is one thing you would tell your 14-year old self or a teenage girl growing up today about God’s Love? Lynn and I would love to know. And she’s going to give one of you a signed copy of “Devotions for a Revolutionary Year,”. To enter to win, simply click on the word “comments” right below this post and type in the white box to share with us.
Do you want to help pour this truth into the young women in your life? On her website, Lynn is offering a FREE “Faith Builder” – seven devotions taken straight from her new book, “Devotions for a Revolutionary Year: 365 Days of Jesus’ Radical Love for You”. These devotions will build up the faith of the girl in your life, be it your daughter, niece and/or granddaughter so she can be filled with a confidence that is true and can stand the pressure of this world.
To celebrate the release of Devotions for a Revolutionary Year, Lynn is giving away over $75 in free contentwith each purchase! Simply purchase Devotions for a Revolutionary Year from September 4th – 11th and e-mail your receipt to [email protected]. You will receive in an email with a link to this free content on Lynn’s website at www.LynnCowell.com.
And the WINNER is…. Jennifer {announced September 19, 2012}
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Wow! I can really relate to your post today and love reading all these comments. My heart breaks everytime I think back on bad choices and see kids today who are making the same mistakes.
If I could go back in time and tell my 14 year-old self anything, it would be that God created me for a purpose, He loves me just the way I am and I am perfect in His sight. No matter what any human says, thinks or does toward me, I was created in God’s image and in His perfect plan, He will fulfill His Glory in my life!
I didn’t hear these words of wisdom back then. I’m sure I had some wise adults telling me, but I was too worried about what the unwise teenagers were saying instead. It is only through lots of wrong choices, mistakes and heartbreak, that I have finally come to this realization. And this last year alone, God has been talking to me, leading me to use my experiences to reach out to today’s kids and let them know these truths.
Having two daughters and a son of my own now, 13, 11 and 8, and I work each day to help them realize they are special and God has a plan for them. And I’m looking forward to reading more from your emails and Lynn’s blog to help me help others!
Yeah Shond! I look forward to you joining us at http://www.LynnCowell.com – a community of moms raising wiser daughters!
So many people, of all ages, spend a great deal of time and energy placing importance on people and things in their lives that truly don’t matter. It’s easy to fall into that worldly way of thinking. It’s easy to create for themselves the constant battle with worry, with self doubt, and with the fear of not being accepted by others. Until they build a relationship with God, they’ll never grasp that concept. Building a true relationship with God is not a quick fix, however, it is a lifelong relationship designed to grow you closer to Him by knowing His word, by praising Him, and by praying. It is through this relationship that one comes to realize their true worth and their true value, what is truly important, and how to truly be happy.
Until you build a relationship with God, you’ll never realize all of the great opportunities you have been missing! You may never experience the joy and the fulfillment you can get just by speaking a kind word to someone who so desperately needs it that day. How something as simple as a smile can brighten another’s day. You may never realize how valuable just a little bit of your time truly is to another. When you live by His word, there is no room for worry, for self doubt, or for measuring your self worth in another’s eyes. When you live by His word, you begin to see yourself through His eyes and finally recognize how precious, how valuable, and how loved you truly are!
I just want to say thank you for your book. I struggle with selfworth everyday, I was rejected at birth from day one from my mother. I have made it a point to instill in my daughter not only is she the apple of my eye, but of God’s eye as well. I do the best I can to make sure she feels worthy and love, unlike me who feels unworthy and unloveable due to the rejection from my parents. The reason for my thank you is the little bit you have shared with us has given me a bit of hope, that I can be worthy and lovealbe. Thank you and God Bless.
Lydia, I hope that “Devotions for a Revolutionary Year” and “His Revolutionary Love” can be tools you can use to teach your girl that she is worthy and lovable! If you choose to get “His Revolutionary Love”, there is a free leadership guide on my website at http://www.LynnCowell.com. Just click on “freebies”! There is a sample chapter as well under the tab “books”.
I would tell my 14 year old self that God loves you no matter what! To look to Him for guidance and direction, to pray about EVERYTHING!
That assessing my self-worth by my friends is fleeting. God is the only one we can establish worth in. Friends come and go. God remains.
I would tell my 14 year old self that God created me and that He was pleased with what He created. How can I not be satisfied with His creation. His opinion of me is the only one that matters.
Karen C
All young girls nees to know that they are beautiful and loved for know other reason than God chose them as His own. In reading what you have written, Renee, it has slammed me right in the heart that at 51 I am struggling with the same thing. I know all the right words and I know what is truth, but after having my husband walk out on nearly 30 years of marriage, I am realizing I looked to him for much more than I should have. Now I struggle just to know who I am. I thank God for my youngest daughter who has Down Syndrome. She knows nothing but love and reminds me daily that God has to be where my everything comes from.
Ronda, you are so right! All girls, no matter what the age, need to have Jesus fill the love gaps in our hearts. The earlier we can learn, the better!
Oh I have been teaching bible studies to junior high students, 9-14 and self esteem and self confidence is something I wish to infuse in them especially the girls… It’s so easy to believe the lies that we are not good enough, not pretty enough… but to see ourselves as GOD sees us… makes the difference….
Thank you, thank you, thank you Jules for pouring truth into these precious young hearts!
I think I would tell her that God has an amazing man that he has set aside just for you! Wait for him!! Don’t try to rush relationships and do things on your own. God hasn’t forgotten you. Use the time before you find that someone that God has for you to grow closer to God, and to pray for that someone. God knows the person that will always think you are the most beautiful girl in the world, and will cherish and adore you. Wait for him!
I would tell my 14-year-old self that a boyfriend is NOT important! That God’s love is the love I should want and hold onto!
I should be confident in myself and the plans God has for me and NOT the plans everyone around me sees fit!
Be Unique! Be Me! Be God’s!
I have 3 girls (23,11,9) and my son who is 16. as a new Christian I never explained what God’s love was because I didn’t know it myself but my oldest daughter who became Christian before I did taught me about being a Christian. With all the struggles I’ve faced and my children have seen I’ve come to rely on God for his strength. Now that I know about the love Jesus gives us, I’m teaching my 2 baby girls what it means to have a relationship with God, we pray every morning on the way to school which is something I would’ve never done before. I teach them what I’m learning and to me that’s what’s important right now that they grow up knowing Jesus so that they don’t have to go through struggles not knowing our savior who is right there with us all the time, We praise him through the good and bad times because he deserves our praise.
Rosalinda…what a beautiful thing you are beginning with your baby girls!
Funny that 14 is the cut off. My daughter is 14 and I struggle to be sure that I parent her adequately, while not quashing the spirit I see Jesus placing in her.
If I had to tell my 14 year old self anything it would be this: “You don’t need to get straight A’s, they will love you no matter what. You don’t need to break the rules to be cool…look for other people that love you for who you are. And finally, you don’t need a boyfriend to complete a status quo or make you important and you certainly don’t need to allow him to touch you or push you to do things that you aren’t comfortable with. If a boy truly loves you, he will wait.”
Gosh…I wish someone had told me.
Thank you Lord that Amy is there for her girl!
I have told my granddaughter that God loves her no matter what. No matter what she might do in her life that might be disappointing, God still loves her unconditionally and so do I. He is ALWAYS there whenever you need Him.
God loves you exactly the way you are. He made you beautiful, special and unique!
I would say: There is none as faithful and true, who will stand by you- uphold you, cherish you and allow you to bloom into the beautiful girl and woman you will be-because He loves you with an everlasting love…that never fails, or grows weary. And He will carry you forever in His heart, joyfully, proudly, graciously. To the glory of God the Father.
I would tell her that God’s love is truly unconditional and that there is nothing she can ever do to make him love her anymore or any less than he already does.. i would also tell her that God’s love is safe.. its real and its full of promises that Can be kept!!! she can read his word and believe what it says.. no matter what is going on in her life or has been done to her in she can always come back to her heavenly daddy who loves her more than any man will ever love her!
You are not alone in feeling alone. You are not the only one feeling or thinking that you are not “as” — not as thin as you should be, not as cute as the other girls, not as talented as the rest of the team, or not as popular as those girls. Ask Jesus to focus you on what you are…HIS! And ask Jesus to show you other girls who need what He has given you…love and acceptance just for you as you are right now.
Keep walking with Jesus. Even when it seems you are the only one. He will not fail you. Commit your way to Him!
I would start even before 14. My seven year old daughter already is too much a follower and cares what others think. I need to start now to remind her of all she is in His eyes, to live in this world but not of it.
You are so right, Tracy! The earlier the better!
I would tell my 14 year old daughter:
Your are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made in GOD’S image! That is God’s Word and His Word is True! Walk in that TRUTH!!! Do not conform to the examples of this world that tell you that you have to dress a certain way, look a certain way, or do certain things for acceptance. God created you exactly how he wanted you. You are a chosen person, a royal priesthood, a holy nation belonging to God. You are the head and not the tail and you are MORE that a Conqueror! You are a light in this dark world! Shine Bright my beautiful daughter and let the world know you are a daughter of the Most High, a daughter of the King!