If only someone could have peeked into my heart. If only someone could have known what I needed and planted seeds of His unconditional love and truth in my heart as a girl …
From the heart of my friend and amazing author/ministry teammate, Lynn Cowell:
All summer she’s been so free; so confident. Days of pony tails and swimsuits, my daughter wakes up each day to her carefree world. No worries about her make-up; she doesn’t wear any! No concerns about her wardrobe; gym shorts fit most every occasion.
As the first day of school approached, I watched her fight to hang on to her confident summer-self. Not wanting to go backward, she has struggled to stand in God’s love and embrace who He has created her to be. It’s been a daily fight as she counted down the days.
Confidence is a major factor in young people when it comes to how they feel about themselves and profoundly affects the decisions they make. Craving acceptance, approval, and affirmation, they’re tempted to make choices that will move them forward on the popularity scale or at least not cause them to stand out. Uncomfortable, miserable even, they don’t know they were made for more than fitting in.
I have found a major key in building confidence in my daughters: teaching them that Jesus is wild about them.
Understanding Jesus is the one who fills the love gap in their hearts, empowers them to not grasp at love from guys and girls alike. Truth that Jesus was wild for them (Psalm 45:11), He sees no flaw in them (Song of Songs 4:7) and He actually enjoys them (Zephaniah 3:17) transforms the way they see themselves. But before that transformation can start, they have to know this truth and that begins with hearing it every day.
Lasting confidence only comes from one source: knowing who they are. Only a foundation built on unconditional love stands. Do you see a girl struggling with low self-image? Can you read in her eyes, “Won’t someone love me the way I am?”
She needs to know when Jesus looks at her, He is not disappointed in her. She needs to know that love from a guy, be it a dad or a boyfriend, can never fill the love gap in our hearts…but He can. This is the truth she needs every day to combat the lies the world tells her.
________________
ENTER TODAY’s GIVE-AWAY: What is one thing you would tell your 14-year old self or a teenage girl growing up today about God’s Love? Lynn and I would love to know. And she’s going to give one of you a signed copy of “Devotions for a Revolutionary Year,”. To enter to win, simply click on the word “comments” right below this post and type in the white box to share with us.
Do you want to help pour this truth into the young women in your life? On her website, Lynn is offering a FREE “Faith Builder” – seven devotions taken straight from her new book, “Devotions for a Revolutionary Year: 365 Days of Jesus’ Radical Love for You”. These devotions will build up the faith of the girl in your life, be it your daughter, niece and/or granddaughter so she can be filled with a confidence that is true and can stand the pressure of this world.
To celebrate the release of Devotions for a Revolutionary Year, Lynn is giving away over $75 in free contentwith each purchase! Simply purchase Devotions for a Revolutionary Year from September 4th – 11th and e-mail your receipt to [email protected]. You will receive in an email with a link to this free content on Lynn’s website at www.LynnCowell.com.
And the WINNER is…. Jennifer {announced September 19, 2012}
It’s very straightforward to find out any matter on net as compared
to books, as I found this article at this website.
I like the helpful information you provide in your articles.
I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently.
I am quite certain I will learn many new stuff right here!
Best of luck for the next!
Have you ever considered writing an e-book or guest authoring on other sites?
I have a blog centered on the same ideas you discuss and would love to have
you share some stories/information. I know my readers would value your work.
If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me
an e mail.
Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a
few of the pictures aren’t loading properly. I’m not
sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the same
results.
Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you
relied on the video to make your point. You clearly know what youre talking about,
why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos
to your weblog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?
When someone writes an post he/she keeps the thought of a user in his/her brain
that how a user can understand it. Thus that’s why this piece of writing is outstdanding.
Thanks!
Can I simply just say what a relief to find somebody who really
knows what they’re discussing on the web. You certainly realize how to bring a problem to light and make it important. A lot more people must look at this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you aren’t more
popular since you certainly possess the gift.
Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this blog. It’s
simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s difficult to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and appearance. I must say you have done a great job with this. Also, the blog loads extremely quick for me on Chrome. Exceptional Blog!
I just heard your story about your daughter having Apraxia….mine does too and there is hope. My daughter was non verbal up to age 3, but with intense speech therapy for a few years, she’s now a very chatty 8 year old and I thank God for her everyday! Early intervention makes a huge difference! I pray you and your daughter make some wonderful memories as she starts this journey towards speech!
I just wanted to let Renee know that I heard her on K-LOVE today and when she spoke of her friend offering to pray for her I was moved. I propmptly grabbed my phone and texted several friends and asked ‘What can I pray about for you today?’. Everyone responded promptly and all had different requests. I don’t have the best work environment and after I prayed for each of my friends my mood was much improved. It just reconfirms the theory of how you can be blessed for putting aside your own issues and sharing the love of God with others. Thanks for the reminder Renee and God Bless!
I would say God loves you more than you’ll ever know and he wants a relationship with you , he has a plan for your life and the only way to know what that plan is to give your life to him like he died and gave his life for you. He wants to use you in a mighty and special way. H e created you for so much more than you can even imagine and wants to tkae you places that you can’t even begin to imagine or wrap your mind around. He loves you and he knows right where you are and all of yoyr hearts desires and he even knows your pain and the things you struggle woith and he has a desire to help you, heal , and make you into the women he has called you to be but you first have to yield your life to him and let him take the wheel of your life.
If i could go back and tell my 14 year old self anything it would be that God exists!! His love is unconditional and i was made in his image so therefore i am beautiful no matter what anyone else says!! i wish i would have known then all i know now. i believe i would have had more confidence and i would be sure that someone loves me.
One word – “unconditional”.
This book sounds wonderful and I would love to win a copy for my beautiful nieces, Peyton and Kiersten!
I would tell my former 14 year old self that God’s love for me is just as powerful and exciting as anything Hollywood could ever imagine! Bella (Twilight) and Katniss (Hunger Games) craved the attention from boys who would do anything to be near and protect them.
But God’s love? It never has a bad day, never gets moody or makes mistakes. He fights for us!! He is protective. And most importantly? He loves us, no matter what we say or do. His love is perfect, steadfast and unconditional. With Him, we can walk through our days with confidence that He is in control and will take care of us.
Blessings, Michelle
I would tell my 14yr old self that you are worth EVERYTHING! You are worth not settling for just some of your relationship needs. You are worth a guy stumbling over himself just to get to talk to you, let alone anything else. You are worth so much, that you don’t have to give yourself away (physically) for someone to love you; Jesus gave himself because He loved you so incredibly much.
I have a 14 year old niece and has no father in her life. I know her faith is strong but she is also a teenage girl. What I constantly tell her that God’s love will withstand anything she will ever encounter by a human being here on earth. I talk to her about this all the time but as much as I do that I pray for her as well that God’s love will surround her in every minute of every day for those times she feels like there is no true fatherly love here on earth.
No guy will fill that void…only God! Confidence through Gods love, not people.
Relax, it is natural to hyperfocus on yourself. You are God’s special creation and you don’t have to measure up to standards just because they are expressed in media. Seek to get to know the Lord and follow Him. He will lead you on a path of acceptance, joy, and purpose!
I would tell her God is the one person whom she can always count on and will never abandon her. God is the one person whom is always looking out for her best interest. When the world lets her down, God will always pick her up. When she feels alone, GOD is always with her. When she feels she can’t talk to us, she can always talk to GOD, he is always listening.
I have the first six days of The Seven Day Doubt Diet, which is great stuff. I can’t wait for that seventh day.
It has helped me so much each day. One day every time someone asked “How are you?” I wanted to say, “Confident”-instead I said “Wonderful”.
That there isna difference in Joy & happiness. That Joy comes from God and happiness is circumstances. With Joy, we can get through anything. That God loves her and only through God can she have true Joy. That joy or even happiness can not come from a boy or man, friends or popularity. That God created her, knows her, and loves her. Always rely on God, He can get you through anything!
I would tell her to let go of the fear of man/people pleasing. Jesus is the only one who can tell us who we were made to be.
I am telling her (my 13 year old) that she is uniquely and wonderfully made by her heavenly Father! …and God is faithful and will always love her even more than her earthly father and I. God loves her just as she is and loves her no matter what she does or doesn’t do. He loved her so much, He sent His son to die for her sins so that she could spend eternity with Him. But thank God, she can know Him right now, right here on earth too. She doesn’t have to wait to have that fantastic relationship!
I have a 14 yr old granddaughter who is struggling with self image & confindence. I am looking forward to bringing her with me to see u Lynn on Sat. I am always telling her how beatiful she is and what a treasure she is – God sees her exactly like that .
So many young ladies would be helped with this book.
If I could have told myself something when I was in middle school or high school I would have reminded her often of the strengths and talents that god had given her. I would remind her that she is valued for very specific reasons why she is valued and special. These are things that I have been working on build in my daughter from a young age because I wish I had that person who told me these things. Your worth is so much greater than what these surroundings will admit
To my grand daughter, I say how beautiful she is and that she doesn’t need to feel pressured by the images presented by the world around her. I tell her that God knew her before she was even born and that her life is precious in His sight. When her friends turn against her I tell her, pour her heart out, then trust God that he will restore those friendships or find her more worthy ones. I tell her to resist following the crowd and follow her dreams- she is unique and has many yet to be fulfilled talents. It has been said to her that when she was concieved , she was a mistake- I tell her there are no mistakes with God, she is the apple of His eye.I tell her that God knew her before she was even born and tht her life is precious.I tell her that I love her and show her in many practical ways just how much and remind her that she is part of a large loving family and that she has a valued place in it, that no-one else can fill.
This will be so helpful for 3 of my granddaughters. Thanks so much for making such great material available to us.
I would tell her to know GOD and how awsome he is before you try to know man!!
I would read Psalm 139 a lot. I really like vs 17-18. His thoughts about us or for our daughters are precious and numerous !
I would tell myself….God loves you just the way you are. Don’t listen to the world. Don’t compare yourself to others. Just listen to your heavenly Father. You were made for a purpose, stop chasing worldly perfection and listen to God for your heavenly purpose. Rest in his unconditional love. There you will find peace!
WOW – I have loved reading your comments tonight. Im praying them over my girl – who is almost 4 :0)
Oh sweet Jesus, help us preach these truths to our own hearts and to the ones YOU have put in our care.
I would tell my fourteen year old self that no boy and no amount of performance will ever be able to fill the hole in her heart. I would do my best to help her see that instead of continually performing to earn love, instead of working so hard pursuing love, she could just stop at any moment and simply RECEIVE the love of the One pursuing her. I did not know. I did not realize Someone already found me beautiful, Someone already desired true and intimate relationship with me. I did not know Someone loved me just as I was, no performance required. I did not realize that even though I had stopped thinking about Jesus several years before then that He had never stopped thinking about me.
I would tell my 14-year old self that God created me and He sees me as beautiful. That He loves me and I was no accident, none of those “you got picked up from the trash can” stories. That even though there may be dark days ahead, He will not leave me but will walk with me as long as I keep holding on to His hand. And even though earthly parents fail, He is a good Dad, a faithful Dad, a loving Dad. Even through friends betray or leave, He is a good Friend, a faithful Friend, a loving Friend. In Him, I am accepted.
I am currently raising a 13 year old step daughter that suffers with low self esteem. We always try to encourage her, uplift her and make her feel beautiful and loved trying to teach her to see herself the way God sees her. This is one of the most challenging times for me! I want her to slow down, enjoy where she is today and not be in such a rush to grow up!
I do tell my 14 year old daughter to put ALL of her faith in her heavenly father GOD, that He will NEVER disappoint as humans whether intentional or not always will. I tell her that He made her perfect just the way she is!!
I read this Devotinal just after visiting with my son. He is 18 and he just moved into his own apt last month and I was listening to him talk about his brand new girlfriend. He is a little nervous and scared about life as he is on his own with bills and how to do things and be responsible for everything including cleaning and laundry and cooking and shopping and is often calling me to help him as he picks out laundry detergent and when to pay his bills etc. He just met this new girl who has a wild past. So I would think this book could help and would have truth in it for my son. Truth to help him know that he doesn’t need to settle for girlsfriends who are troubled or have their own issues just to feel noticed or special or less scared about the uncertainties of life. That God loves him and thinks he is special and is right there beside him. And God can fill the longings of his heart. And maybe after he learns these truths he could share them with this girl to help her too.
Hi Renee. First of all, I just want to say thanks so much for this message. You are a God send as I have been wrestling with how and what to say to my granddaughter who is struggling in so many ways. She is about to enter middle school. She is not with me and now resides with her mom and stepdad, which is not the best situation. She is beautiful, smart, and gifted in so many ways. Yet, she doesn’t get it at all and instead I see the manifestations of a girl who has to be strong and defensive in a home where all she hears is conflict. I am grateful to have had parents who loved me unconditionally and saw to it that my spiritual self was nurtured as well. They were not church goers but the way they lived their lives and taught us values and served others, not just family but community was nothing but Christ in them.
I would tell any14 year old, and especially my granddaughters that who are not there yet, God loves them unconditionally, flaws, mistakes, attitudes and all. That they can count on HIM always to be there for them, to want the best and to guide them toward the best He has for them. So,even if they have the most terrible of days, just knowing that there is One who loves you no matter what, is reason to celebrate,to be willing to be different, and to seek that Love of God always, first and foremost. If they do that, life will be full, lacking nothing and abundant blessings will follow them wherever life takes them. Thanks for giving me the confidence to tell her what I know for myself ,from a God, my Lord and Savior, who is well able to fill every longing of their heart, if they will seek His face and accept His love.
I would tell a 14-year old to focus on their inner beauty. As hard as it may be, outer beauty is only temporaroy and fades away. However, with a wonderful inner beauty and a focus on the King who fearfully and wonderfully made you, you will be radiant no matter what.
Dear 14-year-old self,
You are about to enter the whole new world of high school. And though Grandma, your biggest cheeleader, your Jesus with skin on sitting right in the big old buffalo plaid chair in the sun parlor, praying, though she is gone, you are not alone. Jesus is as real as Grandma. He loves you so much. You are so precious to Him. He will be there when the late night fights begin between mom and dad…He will love you when you feel so unloved, when it looks like sex means love…and everybody seems to be doing it. He will be there in the emptiness when you fall, when you make a mistake. Don’t forget to talk to Jesus about all the tough things…the insecurity, the belief that you are fat, the belief that you must compromise to be popular, the decision to drink or not to, the belief that the careless, thought less words hurled by mom are true…that you’re not good, you’re worthless, you’re lazy. Those are lies. You are so precious; you are worthy of unfathomable love. You are loved just as you are…and if you hold on to that love, instead of the fake love that popularity makes you feel, you can hold out on experimenting with things that will leave you guilt ridden, empty, and full of remorse. Jesus is speaking to you, “Hold on to me. I am here right now…sitting beside you. I am holding you when you feel lonely and forgotten. I love you so much…you are mine and I will keep you in my arms. I see you. I know you. I love you!” This season is but a flash…Have fun, good old fashioned fun! Love, Me
I would tell her that God doesn’t think she’s too loud, too daydreamy, too smart, too much. I would tell her that He can help her when her heart gets broken again. I would tell her that He will find the most amazing people to physically hold her hand, and even when they are not there, He will be.
I would tell her that He is the best Father she could ever imagine.
I would tell my 14 yr old self that I am more than the mistakes that I make, that God loves me just the way I am, that I don’t need a man in my life to feel secure, stay true to yourself even when others are pressuring you to not be. You are loved, your are beautiful, you are worthy. Pray about everything, never stop praying.
My daughter will be 14 in a few months. I would tell her (we have had convos like this before) that God sees her, knows her every thought, fear, embarassment, struggle, sin, joy, success and dreams. I would tell her that she doesn’t need to fight and compromise and worry so much about getting attention and trying to have her needs met by humans who will fail her because she already has the undivided attention of her heavenly Father, the Lord God Almighty, her savior and the lover of her soul. I would tell her to never stop talking to Him, no matter her mood, her feelings, her anger or disappointment because He wants to hear from her, His precious daughter. I would remind her that she is made in His image and to Him, she is lovely, graceful, beautiful and loved beyond her wildest hope; that He delights over HER with singing and longs for her to talk to Him. I would remind her to pick up her Bible and see what He has to say about her, even if it seems boring or “old fashioned”. He will direct her to the places in His word that she needs to hear and needs to know about Him. I would say to her, “Jesus loves you this I know, for the Bible tells me so.”
I have 2 sons but I do teach Sunday School to 6th -8th girls and I tell them every Sunday that their identity is in God….and God alone. It’s not in the sport they play or a guy they like or even their future husband or children. I pray we all truly believe this precious nugget of truth 🙂
i would tell my 14-year-old daughter that God loves her so much and that He made her to be so special. He formed her in the womb. He knows her strengths and her weaknesses. He knows all her gifts and talents. He has such special plans for her. He will be right there with her each and every moment. He loves her so much that He will never leave her or forsake her. He knows how beautiful she is. He also knows her inner beauty and to keep her focus right on Him and he will guide her to continue to mold her into just the beautiful Little Lady He wants her to be. After all, if it were so easy than we would not need God would we.
I would let her know that it isn’t what’s on the outside that even matters, but the inside. God looks at our hearts. And he has designed each of us in a beautiful, and unique way. We are beautiful to him, and he loves us so much. He laid down his life for us, so we could live. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. He’s the best friend, husband, daddy you could ever have. His love is unconditional. It never fails. His love isn’t based on what I look like, or my performance. He loves us for who we are…! Beauty isn’t what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside. That is where true beauty lies, is within.
Oh, how I wish my 14 yr old self had realized this. I am trying to instill this in my own 13 year old daughter. I pray that she will never look to anyone but her Lord and Savior to fill that gap. My own daughter has battled the same thing as this school year started and she has entered 7th grade. At her school that means being in a new building with 7th through 12th grade. A whole new world of pressures. This book is definitely what she needs.
Thanks for writing it!
I hope it will be a powerful tool in her new surroundings!
I would tell my 14 year old self that God loves and accepts me for who I am. I don’t need (want but not NEED) acceptance from others, and that even if/when I get it, I will have to work/change to keep it. With God, I have acceptance and love even when I do not deserve it. God’s love isn’t based on how I look, how I act, who I date or hang out with or the clothes I wear. He loves me silly, serious, mean, nice, popular, dorky and most of all, He GETS me-and I mean the way your best friend gets you, and knows exactly what I meant to say (I had this talent for saying things wrong, I mean, I was a PRO).
I would say that God is Who every earthly father was intended to be, the prince charming that every teenage girl secretly waits for. We can’t see Him, but He’s always there with open arms waiting for us to run to Him when our world is falling apart, when no one else understands or even cares what we are feeling, and also wants to hear all of the details of our day. I would tell her that there will always be times when it feels that no one understands or cares, but that’s when you can take comfort in knowing that God will ALWAYS be there and He will ALWAYS care and He will always listen. That if you are quiet, He will speak to you through verses, through the rainbow after the storm, through the tiniest things throughout your day. He is the perfect father, BFF, husband, counselor and He is never too busy. People will always let you down because no one is perfect, but God is perfect and has a one of a kind, designer plan for your life.
Most of all, I would tell her that God’s love is unending and she can never do anything to push Him away. That He wants more for her life than she wants for herself. That surrendering to Him is not enslaving herself to chains of rules and “Do nots” or never being in control; it’s the complete opposite of what it looks like. It’s exchanging the unrealistic pressure of the world to always be in control, do what makes you happy, get them before they get you, you can have it all, you deserve it- mirrage that’s as fake as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Exchanging that for freedom in knowing that just by honoring God in your life (the way you honor your spouse in marriage-out of love) that you can have peace in the unknown because you belong to the One Who has a plan just for you.
Oh, and then I would tell myself that life is about more than just how you FEEL so stop being so dramatic and give myself a good shaking!! 😉
I would tell my 14 year old self: ” God loves you just the way you are. He doesn’t want a ‘perfect’ you…it isn’t possible no matter how hard you try. He is crazy about you, crazy enough to choose you as His bride, His child, His friend. Rest in His love…give every worry and care to Him, for he cares for you.
I would tell my 14 year old self that it really is okay being who God made you to be. And though you don’t grow up to be the super model or the most popular or all the other standards we compare ourselves too, God loves you just the way you are. So much so, that He created you like no one else in the world. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and not by the world’s standards, but Praise God by His standards. At 40 years old I find that I need to tell myself this even today. But I truly thank God that I have been able as a mother to tell my 22, 11 and 10 year old daughters how precious and loved they are by God. It does wonders to my heart to know that my daughters have a head start on their relationship with Christ now than what I had at their ages.