I’m so thankful for the gift of my friend Kimberly who is with us today to openly share her struggles with condemnation and how it has made her see herself so differently than God does. Please take time to watch this less than 2 minute really powerful video message her church created, and then read what she wrote below about the way God spoke to her heart about His perspective of our failures and flaws.
{If you are reading this via email, PLEASE double click here to visit my website and watch the video).
From Kimberly…
A few years ago, if you would have asked me if I believed that God loved me, I would have told you, “Yes.” Realizing His great love for me has been one of the sweetest truths I have ever come to know.
BUT, if you had asked me if I believed God could use me or would even WANT to use me… well, I would have hemmed and hawed and never really landed on an exact yes or no. Why? Because I felt unusable. My sins and mistakes disqualified me. I looked at myself and saw all of my flaws. I saw deep insecurities. I saw my too often short temper. I saw a lack of discipline, a lack of Biblical knowledge. I saw lack upon lack, failure upon failure.
“Jesus loves me? Yes. He died for me. But Jesus would like to use me. Ummmm…seriously? I think not.”
I love how He corrects our wrong thinking through His Word.
As I sat reading the Bible one day, heart heavy from discouragement, God led me to read John 3:17. It comes right after John 3:16, one of the earliest verses we ever learn about how God loved the world so much He sent His only Son Jesus to die for us so that, believing in Him, we could have eternal life. John 3:17 goes on to tell us more:
“For God did not send His Son Jesus into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”
I felt the Lord urging me to look up the definition the words “condemn.”
Condemn- 1. to pass an adverse judgement on; disapprove of strongly, censure; 2. a) to declare to be guilty of wrongdoing; convict b) to pass judicial sentence on; inflict a penalty upon c) to doom; 3. to declare (property) legally appropriated for public use; 4. to declare unfit for use or service. (Webster’s Dictionary)
That was exactly how I felt. Unsafe. Unlovely. Unusable.
Convinced that Jesus wanted to wrap caution tape around my life to keep people back. “Stay away from this one. I love her, but she’s still too messed up to be of any use to me. Better stand clear of her.”
The words of John 3:17 coupled with the last definition released a flood of truth and healing over my heart. The Father was whispering tenderly to me. He did not see me as I saw myself. He did not see a condemned building…someone dangerous. Someone unlovely. Someone unusable. He saw someone He loved so much that He would send His only Son to die a shameful and excruciating death for her. He sent His Son to save me. To forgive me. To heal me. To set me free, fill me up, and USE me.
The tears began to flow as He let me know that I am usable. And not only does He find me usable. He wants to use me. I am not the same woman I was 13 years ago.
- I have been forgiven of all of my sins. (1 John 1:9) (even the “big bad” ones)
- I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
- I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)
- I have purpose in Him. (Ephesians 2:10)
Let these sweet truths wash over you today. Jesus did not come to label you unusable. He loves you and He has a purpose for your life that is of great use to His kingdom!
***
Thank you so much Kimberly for sharing your heart and being so honest with us today. I got so much encouragement from your video and writing. So many of us can relate to what you shared.
Let’s Connect: So friends…How about you? Do you believe God loves you, yet struggle to believe He could ever use you? Do you struggle to believe He would want to use you as you look at all of your sins, flaws and failures? I’m so thankful for this message that sets the stage for some real life transparency today.
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For some reason I cannot access the video.
Here is a direct link to it on Vimeo –
I’m actually still struggling to realize God loves me, in my heart. I want to feel it not just know it. I’m so glad to be studying this book. God has helped me realize, my lack of confidence really holds me back.
What is so great, Kimberli, is that even more than YOU want to know and feel His love…HE wants you to know and feel it! I know He is pursuing you with His love. May His love completely overtake you and leave you never, ever to be the same again. I keep being reminded of the fact that He never tires of telling us He loves us. Blessings to you, sweet sister in Christ.
I am so glad you asked do we struggle with God using us. Today I realized how much God wants to use me! I have been divorced three times and I thought that disqualified me from being used by God . The enemy kept lieing to me saying if you couldnt keep your marriages together how could God trust you. Today God used me and I KNOW He is not done. I was asked to put together a conference for men by my job. I thought I do not want to work with men Lord. They have so let me down and hurt me I just can’t do it! My spiritual mothers told me God wanted to use me to heal men and I thought that is crazy! Well they were right. I had a pre-conference meeting today and I saw grown men cry. Hurting men, wounded men whose father’s weren’t there for them but they want the curse broken so that they can be there for their sons and daughters. God is doing through me and all of the organizations involved what men haven’t been able to do for themselves.We are helping men who need help on so many levels to get and stay involved in the lives and education of their children. Our target audience is men who need to be involved in their children’s lives but who arent for whatever reason. We have gotten so many sponsors and so many men that want to be involved to help heal men to become involved in their childrens lives that we have had to change venues twice. Sorry ladies this is for men ONLY. They have to plan the classes they they will teach, organize it, and they have to find and bring men who need the help. I give input but it is mandated that I can’t even be in the room with the men when they share their stories to the organizations that will help them. I cry at how God used the pain of my last divorce to help me, help men. My boss came today to the pre-conference. He said something profound, he said I wasn’t a good husband, I am divorced but that doesnt disqualify me from being a good dad. The men were encouraged by that. I sat there thinking God only you could do this. What the men shared today about the help they need will be the help we give men at our conference in September. I felt His presence there today and I know that God wants to use me to help all hurting people. I also know the enemy is the father of lies and what he was saying to me is untrue and it’s not what God is saying to me. God does love me but He is transforming every broken place in my life into beauty for ashes. The best part for me is all I have to do is give Him the ashes and participate in my healing. I did not have the confidence I have now until I went to counseling and found this book online and joined the online classes! That’s participating in my healing. I bless you Renee. August Rose
I bless you back friend!! That is just amazing. Thank you for sharing what HE is doing in and through and for you!! He is using you in a mighty way. Changing ashes into beauty – broken into beautiful!!
Thanks for sharing Kimberly – for a minute there, I thought I was reading something that I had written myself!
I had originally typed out a detailed paragraph, but I deleted it. Instead, I’ll just leave it at this:
To quote Kimberly, “Jesus loves me? Yes. He died for me. But Jesus would like to use me. Ummmm…seriously? I think not.” Exactly. What in the world could HE use ME for?! And still in the process of seeing myself the way God sees me.
We’re going to talk and walk through this very discovery in Chapter. Be sure to block out time next week for a really important and very encouraging chapter!!
I am excited for you, Jessica. I am excited because I KNOW God WANTS you to know what in the world He can use you for. And I believe that He is going to reveal some pretty amazing things (because the truth is He made each of us amazing) He has tucked inside of you for Him to use. 🙂 So keep asking Him, keep seeking His face. He loves you AND He wants to use you!
Yet again. Words I need to hear. It has been a tough day. God’s words are just what I needed to hear. Thanks
Living with a chronic illness and pain, I continually doubt my ability to be used by God. I struggle daily to do simple things. In my heart I know that God has a plan for me. But my head is always doubtful. God shows me my usefulness in little things and I have to hold onto those. As of last night, I just sat on the side of my bed and just felt like giving up. I was frustrated, exhausted from pain, my head was a mess from side effects of my medication, and I just said I quit. But the good Lord got me up this morning and lead me into another day to be useful (somehow) , I just haven’t figured out where that is yet.
Thank you for your message and ministry. It gives me clarity. It returns me to the Lord. And offers me hope.
Lifting you up in prayer, Casey. Right now. So glad you are turning to HIM for hope!
Love, hugs, and prayers,
K
I can relate. A relatively “new” believer. I knew that God loved me, but I too felt as if I has no place to be used. I have recently taken a “leap of faith” and started teaching my Sunday school class after our teacher had stepped down after teaching for three years. This is my second week teaching and I am finding out soooo many great things, just by getting deeper into His word. Our first lesson was about a Leadership Dare – which really hit home for me in this new role. This week about bold faith and acting upon it. Thank you for sharing your story – I will be sharing with the ladies in my class.
Wooo-hoooooo! Way to go, Julie, on stepping out there! I think that is fantastic. 🙂
In all honesty, I am still having problems just believing that God loves me. I know in my head that He sees me and loves me. It’s getting it to my heart. That’s the problem. There have been so many times lately that I feel alone. My whole world seems to be falling apart around me. The only thing that keeps me remotely sane is that somehow, I have some kind of hope. I believe all this in my head. Maybe I do believe some of it in my heart because I can’t find any other explanation of how I can deal with all this and not just give up. This book has been helpful. It keeps my mind going back to God and what He can do. I just need to get it deeper so that instead of just surviving, I can begin to thrive.
I am so glad you are reading Renee’s book, Connie. It blessed me so! I love how Renee is totally honest about her own struggles AND how she always turns to the Word, to the Word, to the Word. Praying for you, that you will indeed be able to comprehend how wide, how long, how high, how deep the love of Christ is for you. Keep asking Him to help you truly know and believe and receive His love. One thing I am just crazy about when it comes to Him? He never, ever tires of showing us how very much He loves us.
Do you struggle to believe He would want to use you as you look at all of your sins, flaws and failures? YES
But this book and study (2nd time around online) has taught me, that is doubting God’s potential to make me a new creature in Christ…BEHOLD all is new.
I am in a transition period.
Recent graduate from college…oldest daughter recent graduate from college. She has moved out and I am still here with a broken marriage, broken relationships with my kids and living in a house of broken promises. I only live here because I have no place else to go.
WHY? I ask and God answers, “I have a purpose and a plan”. “Be still and know that I am God”.
So, I work very hard some days with my old part time job ~ scrubbing floors on my hands and knees and 14 toilets a week. I look for work and I volunteer with my chosen profession as an intern to get noticed by people who have no money to hire me. One of my daughter’s tells me this a “hopeless plan”. She has no hope in me or my plans. I have broken my promises too many time. I am a failure to her.
I went through the study devoted to every post, every day reading and writing. Now I catch one post as I can. Today this really spoke to me. I am not a failure. I am a work in process to God’s Glory and my Good.
Lift me up in your prayers today as I scrub yet another 5 hours, before getting to go up and see daughter #2 who is a Christian Camp Counselor this summer. God is working in me and #3 as we are left together this summer with my husband to work out “our miserable life”. (Her wording not mine). I am content where ever I am, when I am weak HIS is strong. Yes, Jesus Loves Me.
Praying for you, precious Deena. And I love your declaration…”I am not a failure. I am a work in process to God’s Glory and my Good.” Amen! Just because we may fail from time to time (or every single day), that does not mean that we ourselves are failures. So glad you are turning to Him, trusting Him, and resting in His love.
Love and prayers,
K
I am so with you, I just went through a week like that. I stayed in the WORD-very comforting! Thanks Kimberly for you inspiration. Renee I have you in my prayers.
Yes, Renee, this was “the message” I needed to hear and receive into my (un)confident heart today. Condemnation is so natural. Deliverance/salvation is so divine. We choose to be delivered/saved through GOD’s only son. Or we choose to stay condemned without HIM. Our family is being broken into small pieces. At age 65, I are humbled, disappointed, doubtful, easily condemned by past decisions made in our family. We need to be changed, transformed, renewed, shaped and redeemed as we face unknown challenges ahead. GOD knows. We do not; but I know we can trust HIM for HE who has promised is faithful. Chaos, danger, and confusion entered our quiet home this past week when we offered refuge to our rebellious 18-year-old grandson. He has no where to go and no one can offer him a safe place to live. This final bridge seemed to be condemned, damaged beyond repair, falling apart, collapsing. After 7 days, the hassles were too complicated, too difficult, too demanding. Yesterday morning, I offered two questions to my beloved husband of 45+ years: 1) If not us, who? 2) If not now, when? By dinner time, all three of us were of one mind and in agreement. It is us. It is now. Thank you, JESUS CHRIST for the courage and wisdom to be the grandparents you created us to be and the willingness to do what you have called us to do now. May we complete with confidence the race that is set before us. May we share generously from confident hearts. Conquerors… in every spiritual battle, the victory has already been won. Praise HIM. Amen.
You can not believe how I can relate to this. Kimberley’s words really made me stop and think though. I have been put down and told I was not good enough all of my life and if you here it long enough and often enough, what are you going to believe? I am slowly gaining ground now but it is still hard to believe sometimes that God could ever use me to help others. This was really what I needed to hear today because it has been a really rough night last night and moning today. Thank you both so much!!
I am so glad you are reading Renee’s book and that you came by today, Jan. I know God wants to replace every single lie of “not good enough” spoken over your life with the truth that you are loved by Him and that He created you with purpose and that He DOES want to use you. This may sound kinda silly, but yesterday was my birthday. And it use to be a day I struggled with. One I just wanted to skim past. Who was I to be celebrated? But this year I sat outside by myself and just thanked Him for creating me. He didn’t have to make me, but He did. He made me on purpose. And so I thanked Him. And as I sat there praising Him, I felt Him whisper in my heart. “I am so glad I created you.” Tears FLOODED out of my eyes. My heart was overwhelmed by the tenderness of His love. I tell you this simply to say, I know He says the same thing to YOU. He is SO glad He created you. Praying His truth crowds out every lie you have ever believed about yourself! Much love, K
Kimberly,
I’ve always felt the same way about my birthday. Who am I to be celebrated? But your post hit home. I am a child of God, created purposefully and wonderfully made. Of course my birthdays have only been celebrated by my mom who recently died so I’ll need to celebrate myself now, but that’s okay. I will celebrate with God.
I am so sorry about the loss of your mom, Lynn. Praying the Lord blesses you in extra special ways on your birthday this year. Ways that speak tenderly of His love for you. I know He is so glad He created you, too!!!!
I am so far behind in this study! (am just starting chapter 5) Wanted you to know I appreciate all you do to point out God’s truths to me. I am slowly grasping this!
Sweet friend, this is a a lot to grasp – took me 40 years!! Ha – just like the Israelites. Take your time, soak Him in, read it again and again. I pray it will be in your tote back or on your bed side table for years!!!
I do struggle with this. Just the other day, after several “failures”, I sat down to reflect and process the events of my day. I laughed a little b/c I knew God had provided me with the opportunity to ‘fail forward’ and i love when life correlates with things I’m readng b/c I know God is working in me. I asked God how I should process all that had happened…had I done something to cause the events of the day, etc. I didn’t get an answer right away. That night it seemed like every memory of every big failure in my past flooded my mind and I fell into the frustratdng and feeling sorry for myself trap. I know it was satan’s way of attacking my attitude and thoughts to divert me from hearing God’s perspective. These words today have touched my heart deeply and were just what I needed to read and hear.
Thank you!
So thankful He used how He spoke to my heart to speak to your heart. He always knows just what we need to hear!
The other day I was reading this article in a dr’s office. I do not have any children but I just thought I would read it and it blessed my heart. I just read your email attached and thought of you..May it encourage you as it did me. http://www.billygraham.org/articlepage.asp?articleid=8657
I am always amazed at what God puts before my eyes to read or near my ears to hear Him speaking just at the time I am ready to accept the Wisdom I have requested. Kimberly, you are so blessed to be held in His arms, to be open to His Love and follow as He leads. It is sometimes difficult for the head and heart to connect in the realization that God does indeed love us – the heart feels His love but the head doubts that He could really love us. I remember the first time, as a small child, being told that “Jesus Loves You” and the pride (and hope) felt that he loved ME – a full sized, unbeautiful, stubborn, unloveable child. I held to the thought that someone who did not know me might really love ME and tucked that thought away – but tucked it so far away that it was buried deep and replaced with the words of others. WOW (walk on water moment) to realize that He can and does not condemn and uses life’s lessons to not only grow us (connect the head and heart) so we can witness and minister, but really does LOVE us. Renee, thank you for honoring Him by presenting this study. It has been an awakening experience for me and I wonder where He is taking me on this journey.
Thank you Renee and Kimberly for sharing these truths.
As I re-read chapter 7 earlier this morning, that same scripture (John 3:17,18) is the one that I connected with most. For some reason I find it much easier to believe God’s promises and love for other people. I really thirst to know God’s love for me in a much deeper way and to know how He could possibly use my impatient and critical self for His Kingdom. I do know He is doing a good work in me and I am not the women I was 10 or 20 years ago and that is totally because of Him, however I stil do not really like the woman I am today. I really need to believe what Jesus says in John 3;17…
Oh, Karen in Canada. I so understand the issue of being able to believe God’s promises and love for other people and not so much for yourself. I actually went through a really rough time a few years ago…battled with depression and a lot of anger…when God spoke VERY clearly to my heart about how I needed to start believing His Word for ME. He convicted me of how I read His Word, knew His Word, and even shared His Word with others, but I needed to cling to it MYSELF. His promises are just as true for you and me as everyone else. I have to remind myself that every person who has breath in their body is struggling with something – some sin issue. You struggle with impatience and being critical. Honestly, I am not so unfamiliar with those myself! 😉 BUT He still loves us and wants to use us. Because it isn’t about us being perfect. It’s all about Him. We have this treasure in earthen vessels so that He gets the glory. 🙂 Praying He will help you to know and believe how great His love is for you! AND that He wants to use you…right now, just as you are.
thank you Renee for using Kimberley’s words to inspire others. Unfortunately I cannot get the video to play, not sure why, but I still feel unable to be used of the Lord and have been thinking about it for a few days now. This has come just in time to help me seek out His word and wait for Him to give me an answer….although it may not be the one I want……still I will trust Him with my life after all He gave His for me!
Hi, Cherrill! I am sorry the video wouldn’t play for you. The video is very much what I wrote.
I so understand not feeling usable to the Lord. But I am finding out more and more, as I dig into His Word and spend time in His presence, that me, you, or any of us being unusable is just a lie from the enemy. I don’t know the exact tactics the enemy may be using with you (past sins, feelings of worthlessness, etc.), but know that I am praying for you that the Lord will speak HIS truth to your heart. He is so glad He created you. And He definitely DOES want to use you. Blessings to you, Cherrill!
Hi Kimberly, thank you so much for replying to my comment, it is wonderful to know there are women who actually dont know each other but through the Spirit can pray and help out. Thank you for your encouraging words, I live in a very small town in South Africa and we do not have a great selection of churches in town and of course only one English speaking church, (I do not feel right in it, if you know what I mean) so I do feel a bit lonley as far as having a place to worship. But having this Bible Study is wonderful and of course we can air our views after each week and receive encouragement from wonderful women of God!
I may be feeling a bit sorry for myself ha,ha! but after reading more of God’s Word last night and more in depth I do feel a lot better today and am sure His plan will come to pass. Thank you again for the words of encouragement and it is good to know someone is praying for me, May the Lord bless you in every way this coming week!
Thanks you for this… The timing is perfect. My struggle has been inconsistent messages to myself. One day I feel totally usable but if everything doesn’t got “right.” I see myself as a failure and want to give up on trying anymore. Heard of yo-yo diets? I’m working to overcome a yo-yo-ing self image. I guess sometimes I just need a different voice to remind me that I don’t have to get it “right” to be used. Allowing myself to be used IS. Getting it right. Thank you!
I can totally relate to the yo-yoing self image! Mine seems so circumstancial at times instead of being based on God’s Words of truth.
I like how you put it…”allowing myself to be used IS getting it right.” That is so good. It’s not about us being perfect. We never will be. It’s about trusting what HE says about us and surrendering to what He wants to do through us. And I so know what you mean by yo-yo-ing self image! May we continue to speak HIS truth over ourselves, bossing our hearts around with the truth that He loves us and created us to be used by Him.
I like that Ashley, you don”t have to get it right for God to use me. I too wow, i can’t believe i sat here and just cried i can’t believe even though kim you shared about God using you, i felt the same way. Well, Pssst, still do. Yep still do i ran out a few days ago to buy ” A Confident Heart”. The only book left on the shelf, i think it had my name on it. God saved this one for me. 🙂 I still think i believe He does havw something for me, but what? I feel i have so much to share, but how? I have a couple proverbs 31 ministries books for a while never realizing now we can inter- act on this site. I am very thankful and hope to join in. Yet even now though i feel inadequate in my sharing, i guess i am realizing i have a long way to go. I just want to be used for God i wish and desire to only walk with Him. I am single not married and have no children. I need to find my ministry i’ve been praying for that for a long time. Well give me a chance pray for me as i will be reading along chapter 8. I see just through today how God can get just so personal and close with us , me. You shared Renee Ps. 37:4 In the Life
recovery bible States: Be delighted with the Lord. Then He will give you all your heart”s desires. This was pretty hard for me today. I even got a little angry, it seems he is giving Everyone else their “Heart”s” desire. Hey, GOD……you forgot me. 🙁 That is what i went through today. Well you know if i would only spend more time with Him. I have time, i need to make the time. Yet, i’m not going to beat myself up for how i was feeling today. Than tonight i thought let me open my computer and share your thoughts was on. And than Kimberly shared her story. Pretty powerful, i broke down and cried i thought i talked to her because what she shared “Was Exactly what I went through today. I kept thinking God Will Never use me. How can i do or have any of my desires complete i make hardly any money. I live check by check, i can hardly save to by some new underwear, well bought three new pair a month ago. But, that is how it is. My hearts desire is to serve Him I am in health care always have been. Renee you spoke on discovering you abilities, i laughed on that yet sad too, because abilities who knew. We all have them you stated yes i have self-doubt that has shaped my excuses; I am not good enough, i have no money, because i want to become a missionary, i was a long time ago, I have a heart for Israel. You know i feel i could go on and on. I have alot to learn and hope through this book and reading and discussing our hearts to one another, i pray you hear me out and thank you for listening. I do thank all of you who are reading this is matters to me a lot. God bless and Shalom!
So glad you shared Noreen and so glad God saved a copy of Renee’s book just for you! Praying for you as you continue to seek His face and press in to Him. He loves you so and hears the cries of your heart. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 116:1,2…
“I love the Lord because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.”
Don’t you just love how tender that picture is? God leaning in to listen to us. I just love that! Blessings to you, sweet Noreen!
Love and prayers,
K
I truly relate with Kimberly. I have felt those same things for 50 years. Last year after resigning from working at a church for 22 years I felt lost. One day while I was talking with the Lord and sharing how I couldn’t see how He could OR even want to use me I heard him answer. His response was, “Why WOULDN”T I want to use you? You want to share my Word with others when there are so many hurting people out there. Of course I would use you!” For the first time in 52 years I felt significant and validated from the Lord. And little did I know that he had a greater purpose for me than working at that church. My wings had been clipped and he wanted me to fly. So today I am soaring!!!!!
I love that, Dana. His question of why WOULDN”T He want to use you! I just love how He encourages our hearts so tenderly. And indeed. He created each of us for a purpose. He created us because He WANTS us! So why wouldn’t He want to use us! 🙂 So thankful truth has set your heart free!