I’m so thankful for the gift of my friend Kimberly who is with us today to openly share her struggles with condemnation and how it has made her see herself so differently than God does. Please take time to watch this less than 2 minute really powerful video message her church created, and then read what she wrote below about the way God spoke to her heart about His perspective of our failures and flaws.
{If you are reading this via email, PLEASE double click here to visit my website and watch the video).
From Kimberly…
A few years ago, if you would have asked me if I believed that God loved me, I would have told you, “Yes.” Realizing His great love for me has been one of the sweetest truths I have ever come to know.
BUT, if you had asked me if I believed God could use me or would even WANT to use me… well, I would have hemmed and hawed and never really landed on an exact yes or no. Why? Because I felt unusable. My sins and mistakes disqualified me. I looked at myself and saw all of my flaws. I saw deep insecurities. I saw my too often short temper. I saw a lack of discipline, a lack of Biblical knowledge. I saw lack upon lack, failure upon failure.
“Jesus loves me? Yes. He died for me. But Jesus would like to use me. Ummmm…seriously? I think not.”
I love how He corrects our wrong thinking through His Word.
As I sat reading the Bible one day, heart heavy from discouragement, God led me to read John 3:17. It comes right after John 3:16, one of the earliest verses we ever learn about how God loved the world so much He sent His only Son Jesus to die for us so that, believing in Him, we could have eternal life. John 3:17 goes on to tell us more:
“For God did not send His Son Jesus into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”
I felt the Lord urging me to look up the definition the words “condemn.”
Condemn- 1. to pass an adverse judgement on; disapprove of strongly, censure; 2. a) to declare to be guilty of wrongdoing; convict b) to pass judicial sentence on; inflict a penalty upon c) to doom; 3. to declare (property) legally appropriated for public use; 4. to declare unfit for use or service. (Webster’s Dictionary)
That was exactly how I felt. Unsafe. Unlovely. Unusable.
Convinced that Jesus wanted to wrap caution tape around my life to keep people back. “Stay away from this one. I love her, but she’s still too messed up to be of any use to me. Better stand clear of her.”
The words of John 3:17 coupled with the last definition released a flood of truth and healing over my heart. The Father was whispering tenderly to me. He did not see me as I saw myself. He did not see a condemned building…someone dangerous. Someone unlovely. Someone unusable. He saw someone He loved so much that He would send His only Son to die a shameful and excruciating death for her. He sent His Son to save me. To forgive me. To heal me. To set me free, fill me up, and USE me.
The tears began to flow as He let me know that I am usable. And not only does He find me usable. He wants to use me. I am not the same woman I was 13 years ago.
- I have been forgiven of all of my sins. (1 John 1:9) (even the “big bad” ones)
- I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
- I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)
- I have purpose in Him. (Ephesians 2:10)
Let these sweet truths wash over you today. Jesus did not come to label you unusable. He loves you and He has a purpose for your life that is of great use to His kingdom!
***
Thank you so much Kimberly for sharing your heart and being so honest with us today. I got so much encouragement from your video and writing. So many of us can relate to what you shared.
Let’s Connect: So friends…How about you? Do you believe God loves you, yet struggle to believe He could ever use you? Do you struggle to believe He would want to use you as you look at all of your sins, flaws and failures? I’m so thankful for this message that sets the stage for some real life transparency today.
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http://goo.gl/4ceXyQGlory be to God for this massage, anytime i thinked about my past mistake i fell rejected and condenm. Although i have passion for God work but anytime i took a step, i always reverse back due to my past errors. I thank God that my eye to see that my sins have been forgiven.
Thank you for this reminder that Jesus did not come to condemn us but to save us and to fill us with His love!
Thank you so much for this testimony Kimberly! I have struggled with this my whole adult life. It only seems to get worse. I never seem to finish anything, have so much going on. I have a daughter that has had a baby out of wedlock and is living with the daddy, he was offended when we tried to talk to him, he is of a very different faith and our daughter seems to have given up her deep faith she once had. Maybe not given up, but doesn’t seem to have the deep convictions she had a few years ago. We are blessed that she has a college degree and a good job, but I feel like such a failure as a mothe. I know that it is not my fault, we raised her in a Christian home, she attended church, youth, choir, mission trips……it was her choice, and I couldn’t love the child more…..she/he is the light of my life. This video really spoke to me and thank you Renee once again for your inspiring book, I am behind, but I will catch up and finish, I am determined and have asked GOd to help me finish this one thing!
Sorry I’m just now posting to this this week. I’ve been on vacation so I’m trying to get caught back up on the study. I’ve missed it terribly! But it’s so amazing how God works… because I came back and what the chapter and what Kimberly talks about… Condemnation. When I was heading back from my cruise, God spoke to me and said Kim, anyone can condemn… but not everyone can love. And that is so true. We have a devotion at work on Wednesday’s and the lady who normally does it asked me to do it today… so I started studying the Bible and the story that came to me the most about condemnation… was of course the Woman Caught in Adultery… I absolutely love that story, because it shows how we as humans in this flesh are so quick to judge others… But I love how this story has so much to it… it’s a story of God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness, and most of all his Unconditional love. I’m so thankful for a God and for the simple truth that Jesus loves me. He loves me in spite of me. I love how God always lets you go through a test, before he teaches you the lesson. I noticed on the ship a lady from another country, and I’m not going to go into all the detail but when I saw her, as soon as I saw what she was doing, I judged. And a couple days later is when God dropped that into my spirit what I shared with you. Anyone can throw a stone, or point and judge others, but not everyone can Love. I want to LOVE. He that says he loves God, but hates his brother doesn’t know God… and he’s walking in the darkness cause that (hate) has blinded his eyes. God is good! I thank God for this study and for what he’s teaching me so much through it.
Here’s my prayer for me and others, that when we start to point our fingers towards others and their doings, help us to stop and check ourselves (examine daily) and what it may be that’s in our heart to make us judge someone. Keep our eyes on you Jesus, and help us to LOVE and live loved!!! Thanks for this whole chapter, it really has been right on time for me this week coming back from vacation. He’s so good!
As I was reading and listening, I appreciated what was said, but I guess lately, I have been in weird space in my life, I was thinking you have got to be kidding me, Another polyanna verbage and do I really believe that, and if I do do I see it evident in my life? I have not only been discouraged with myself, church and the the world around me that the only word that comes to mind and sustaining me is, Put your hope in God. This is what is sustaining me right now. I have been reading all the chapters and have been rereading them. I thank you for writing it and never has it been a float for rescuing me in a season of instability, mentally and emotionally. Keep me in your prayers and you are in mine.
Deborah Dean
This really speaks into my life right now. I accepted Christ at a young age but it wasn’t until about 6 years ago that I believe my faith was tested in a big way. Through struggles in a dating relationship I fell away from the Lord and attending church and make some choices I am not proud of. That left me feeling stained. The way our relationship ended left me feeling unwanted & unloved. Some of those thoughts & feelings creep in every so often and I cannot praise God enough for the way this study is helping me understand and see how my choices are part of my story and I need to embrace them, learn from them and then…move on!!! I’m always a little shy to share my past because of the way so many people view me at my current church. (I was not living there during my ‘rough’ years).
Often, we are our own worst critics and condemning myself comes pretty easily. I continue to pray for restoration! I love defining words and it was great to think about the word condemn and just how fitting that seems to be in my life right now. I don’t feel fit for service a lot of the time. But I’m so excited for the chance to go with our high school youth on a mission trip later this week.
Lord, use me!!!
Praying He will indeed help you with the “moving on” part. I understand getting stuck there! He casts our sins into a sea of forgetfulness. He removes them from us as far as the east is from the west. And yet…we still try to cling to and find the definition of our worth from those very things He has forgiven us for and forgotten. So thankful He is showing you He did not send His Son to condemn you. And I am so excited you are going on the mission trip. Praying you will receive and rest in His forgiveness and in the knowledge that He definitely wants to use you. 🙂
Hi
Just wanted to say that I started my day wtih the scriptures you referenced in your blog above then checked out your website. I think its so cool that God gave you those 3 beautiful daughters and that through your experiecnces and because God has redeemed you, they now have a praying mama who understands and can help them to avoid those same pitfalls. Part of my story is similar and am encouraged by your honesty.
Lately, I have been trying to focus on how God is working around me, where i cld be of service. I am praying for my neighbors and how I cld be of service there-waiting for an opportunity and focusing more on my family. I believe service to God starts with my husband and sons ( I have 3, grown), then my extended family (have an elderly mother), then beyond. Unfortunately, lately I havn’t had the energy for much of the beyond. How can I, in good conscious, be of service to the church leaving opportunities for random acts of kindness (and opportunities for ministry) to my family, extended family, and neighbors undone? Any thoughts on this??
God has very much convicted my heart on my husband and my girls being my first ministry, as well! I am heading to the She Speaks conference Proverbs 31 Ministries offers this year, and I got some business cards printed up. The cards read, “Encouraging Women to Root Deeper in the Love of Christ.” My girls were so excited to see the cards and immediately asked if they could each have one. At first I thought it was just cute that they were the first ones I passed a card out to. But then it hit me. If I do not encourage my 3 beautiful girls to root deeper in the love of Christ, then I have missed my greatest ministry, my greatest calling. So I am so glad they got my card first. It serves as a reminder to my heart that they have to come first.
As for the beyond, those places of service after husband, family, extended family, and neighbors, I am trusting God to lead me. I am learning to trust Him when He says, “No, not yet.” Or even, “No, not ever.” I think He uses us far more than we realize. So glad we can trust His leading. Blessings to you as you pour Him out into those around you!
Three things stood out to me in Kimberly’s message today. First, when she said, “I am not the same woman I was 13 years ago”, because that is how long I have been walking with the Lord, still struggling with all these issues we are discussing in “A Confident Heart”. Second, was her thoughts of “this one is still too messed up…stay away from her”, and finally the very last comment in her video, ” I am full of Him and totally usable.” In this last week’s study, the Lord brought to me the revelation of how “performanced base” my ability to love myself and to receive love really is. It is rooted so deep within me, I hadn’t recognized it. I had been serving in our church whereever I “felt” called and everytime God would end up pulling me out of that place. One time He told me I wasn’t prepared for that place yet, I had put myself there prematurely, but this last time, serving in the youth group, He asked me to step down without giving me a reason. At first I thought it was about having more time with my husband who as of yet isn’t a “committed” believer, because the atmosphere in our home and between the two of us got so much better right away. But still, I struggled with why I couldn’t stay active in the church. Well, through Ch 7, I have learned that all my serving was in order to earn God’s love. In addition, I have a full page written in my journal of these sort of thoughts…”because I can’t keep up with the housework…I have failed…I am not worthy to be loved”. From every direction of who I am; wife, mother, daughter, employee, friend, Child of God, I have these sort of comments written. Failure….not worthy to be loved.
I don’t remember right now how I was going to tie that in with Kimberly’s message….but there is a connection! Thank you Kimberly for sharing and thanks Renee for Ch 7!! Biggest breakthrough so far!
Love and appreciate all you and all He is doing through this study! Have a blessed day and prayers for Aster!!
SOOOOOOOOO get the performing to be loved thing. Can I actually recommend another book for you to check out after you read Renee’s FANTASTIC book? Emily P. Freeman’s book Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try Hard Life is an excellent and encouraging read, too. I am reading back through it right now. Because, quite honestly? I haven’t got this performance issue fully kicked myself. Blessings to you, sweet LaDena! So glad you commented. 🙂
One of the great things about God’s love is that I don’t have to “feel” it every second for it to be true. “Jesus loves me, this I KNOW, for THE BIBLE tells me so! My stuggle is not whether God wants to use me. I know he does. It is my own feelings of inferiority, self-doubt, that prevent me from attempting or or accepting spiritual task.
Today is one of those days I am struggling to believe that God will ever use me. I am struggling with feeling used by my family and stuck because they feel inferior for God as well as me. Some of the way my husband feels is because I was such a legalist early in our marriage that I discouraged him in his christian growth. He is so talented and yet so blinded that any word of truth about how God uses him is laughed at and dismissed. Satan wants me to think that I will never be used and that I will “sit” until I am called home because of my past actions. I know that is a lie but I see opportunities for service arise that get shot down because he doesn’t see his potential and then I begin to beleive that my servants heart will be passed over again. The battle is raging. I am discouraged because I have sat ofr many years. I know there is nothing else to do but wait upong God’s timing and Believe He knows best so I obey (Psalm 37:7) but my heart throbs to be about his work.
If a past that involves being legalistic could keep a person from ever being used, you would NOT be watching a video with me in it OR reading my post here at Renee’s. I made a HUGE mess in my relationship with my brother not long after I gave my heart and life back to the Lord in my twenties. I was SO legalistic and did some major damage in our relationship. And I won’t lie. It took years for healing. But God moved. And He did help my brother and I reconcile. AND He has still chosen to use me. (And do not think for a second that the legalism didn’t slip into my marriage. He is still helping me learn when I need to say something to my husband and when I just need to pray for my husband.)
And I know He will use you, too. I am sure He already IS using you in so many ways. I shared a verse in a comment up above, but I want to share it with you, too. Simply because I find it so encouraging. Psalm 116:1,2 “I love the Lord because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.”
He hears you. He leans in close to listen to your heart. He has purpose for your life. And He has not forgotten you. Keep pressing in. He has not forgotten you.
Praying for you,
K