There is a longing in the heart of every girl.
A longing to be wanted and pursued.
Each night when I pray for my beautiful girl, I want her to hear me thanking God for who she is and for the gift of being her mom! I want her to know she is wanted and valued. That I miss her when we’re not together. I want her to know she’s not a side-item on my very full plate, but she is my heart’s delight and dessert! And you know what? She’s thinks I’m pretty amazing too?
Well… at least for now.
But I’ve been a mommy before. And I know a day is coming when there will be competition for my girl’s attention.
More than me. More than her daddy. More than her big brothers. One day Aster is going to want a guy to want her, to pursue her, to choose her.
And when it happens, I don’t want to panic and wish I could do something to get her to stop chasing after some guy, hoping he’ll notice her. I want her to know…
She’s already been noticed.
She’s already captured Someone’s heart.
She’s already being pursued.
And even though Aster is only five and a half years old, I’m realizing that now is the time for me to start planting these truths in her heart. But it wasn’t until I read my friend Lynn Cowell’s new book “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants,“ that I realized I needed help to get started.
Lynn’s new book is for girls (and their moms) to walk alongside and help them discover how to become the best version of the beautiful girl God created her to be. There is so much I love about this message. And that is why I wanted to share with you an excerpt from Chapter One today {and I’ve got 3 copies to give away too!}:
“Why doesn’t he like me? I just couldn’t figure it out.
What is it about me that isn’t as attractive as her? Am I not as pretty? Am I too loud? Are my friends not cool enough? The questions gnawed at me, eating away at my confidence. He had liked me once,; surely I could get him to like me again. There had to be a way.
I was determined to find out what was wrong with me.
Back in my own “wish I were dating” days, my highs and lows depended on whether or not I saw him in the hall; my happiness was determined by whether or not he noticed me. The crush I had was crushing me.
I wish there had been someone who could have helped me…someone who could have helped me understand that the longing in my heart pointed not to my need for a guy, but to my deeper need for something, Someone, even greater.
How I wish I had known sooner that I was created to be loved perfectly and unconditionally, made to have my heart filled each and every day with love from the perfect Man – Jesus.
Then I could have spent my time, energy, and emotions, not on a guy I didn’t have, but on the One I did. I could have moved from obsessing over why I wasn’t wanted to becoming the type of girl a godly guy would want. Not just someone to date but someone he’d want to spend the rest of his life with.
I remember making the list, a gargantuan description of everything I was looking for in the guy I would marry one day. The more powerful list would have described the woman I wanted to become, the woman he couldn’t resist!
What would happen if you made the switch now? Shifted your focus off a guy and onto the Guy?
What if, together, we discovered an irresistible beauty deeper than designer clothes, jean sizes, and flaw-free skin? A confidence so attractive, nothing could cause us to lose it? A glamour simply magnetic?
In my quest to discover true beauty, I began to see gorgeous as much more than the face in my mirror. Gorgeous is not skin-deep but heart-deep, a beauty that develops as my heart discovers and returns True Love.
This beauty, this attractiveness, is found in the girl who has what I call “captivating characteristics”—what the Bible calls “the fruit of the Spirit.” These heart traits are described in Galatians 5:22–23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
These magnetic traits are the result, or fruit, of the girl who has given her entire life to Jesus. The girl who spends her emotional energy allowing Him to live His life through her.
But, you don’t have to burn yourself out trying to become perfect. These gorgeous qualities will show up as you spend time with God and He pours His perspective into you!
When you’re “planted” in God, He provides all you need to reach your full potential—to be the best you you can be!
And, instead of chasing after the guy running from you, you’re pursuing the One coming after you. In the process of seeking His heart, you’ll become the amazing individual He designed you to be, a girl who is irresistibly magnetic, beautiful inside and out!
ENTER TO WIN:
Packed with honesty, encouragement and perspective-changing Magnetic, truth by Lynn Cowell,(available at Amazon, B&N, CBD, everywhere books are sold), will empower girls and young woman to reach their fullest potential by focusing on becoming who God made them to be! A girl who reflects God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A girl who will attract the right type of guy one day: one who loves God with all his heart and who will cherish her!
CLICK “Share Your Thoughts” under this post and ENTER to WIN!
Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 speaker and the author of several books including “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants”. Her passion is to empower wise women to raise wiser daughters. Her husband and their three children live in North Carolina where they love to hike, raft and enjoy anything that includes chocolate and peanut butter!
I wish I had been able to have a mom who treated me as you are treating your daughter. I thought I was a Christian when I was raised, but have learned as life would have it for me that I was not. I was raised in a home where religion was most important, discipline more than a command and dysfunction the name of the game. What a “wonderful mess we all were !” We all knew our parts and played them well. Thus, my childhood was interesting….
When I was forty years old during the year following my “unfortunate divorce” from a dysfunctional marriage, what else would you expect !\? I began my search for God, the real God, the Lord and Savior of my life now ! He told me He loved me, created me Himself with tender love and care and that there was not another person created exactly as I was. He “Created me in His image and likeness, and had a special plan just for me.” He loves me so much that He even gave His life for my sins, something that I knew I did not deserve but have willingly accepted. His grace, love, mercy and forgiveness along with the “promise of Eternal life in Heaven with Him are the best gifts anyone has ever given me.
That is when I knew what being a “Christian” really was and have been so blessed as one that I share Him with others and tell them that they also can be one all they have to do is repent, and ask Him into their heart forever. Reading the Bible, praying and fellowshipping with other Christians is one of the best things that I have ever known. Each time I meet and am able to tell someone about the “True love of my life, Jesus”. It makes me smile and I rejoice when they also want to share in this joy.
I have been a Christian now for at least twenty or more years now and even during the suffering and testing times I have Jesus right beside me leading, guiding and protecting me all day long. Thank You Jesus for loving me so much. If you don’t know Him I hope this challenges you and that you also might want to be one of His Children. To be a Child of the King is more than I had ever dreamed or hoped for. I pray that this book and something I have shared might help someone to want to join this wonderful family of God.
God Bless you all, Mary Kaiser
I would Love to have this to share with my 11 year old daughter & also my 9 year old niece.
I write middle grade and young adult fiction for girls dealing with self-esteem and self-worth issues. This is the kind of book I love hearing about to help share messages with young people.
Wow, does reading this excerpt hit home. I have a beautiful 14 year old daughter who is a Freshman in high school. Would love to reiterate these truths to her in a meaningful , God centered way. Some times I feel like she wont listen to what I say just because its her “mom” talking. This would be a blessing!
For my daughter: God loves you so very much. He will never leave you!
Her earthly dad did leave us. I pray that she doesn’t seek comfort from boys and men as I did growing up without my earthly father.
Oh I wish I had known this before then the things that I did and pursued I would not have done. I did things all for the sake of love from guys I was interested in. Not knowing that only God could and would love me perfectly and unconditionally. Thank you Abba Father for loving me flaws and all.
I wish I had known that. I was raised very legalistically. I believed God was always angry with me. Jesus didn’t equate with love…..just condemnation. Very glad to be able to give the correct perspective to my daughter and granddaughters!
My daughter is beautiful, smart & needs more confidence. Her dad has not been nice to her, hurt her self-confidence and she needs to know what an amazing woman she is becoming. I need to realize that sometimes too, because being a single mom has been hard. It doesn’t do much for my sense of self-worth at times, either.
I’m trying to use the “it takes a village to raise a child” philosophy. Trying to reach out & get the help she & I both need. Trying to always trust in Him to guild me.
What a blessing it would have been to have a book like this when I was raising our 3 daughters, I can not even amply describe how this passage speaks to the depths of my soul. I have been blessed with the opportunity to raise my 5 year old granddaughter and I would live to win this book so that she would really know how valuable she is and how loved she is by our Father. She has experienced the loss of her mother, Erika, my middle daughter, who was 27 years old and hit and killed by a car on September 26, 2012 and now she has lost her grandfather( my beloved husband Carlos on August 10, 2014) who is the only father figure she has ever known and whom she referred to as “Daddy.” I would love to be the winner of one of these books becasue I think it would be a wonderful guide along with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit in teaching her who she is in Him and how he pursues her continually . I believe that being able to read this post today was not an accident because it is truly th edesire of my heart for my precious and beautiful Aeriyana. Thank you for reading my submission.
Wow, there’s so much truth to this that I wish I had known and believed as a young girl and I pray I can depart to my girls early on. Mostly, I wish I knew earlier that His love is enough, and doesn’t need to be supplemented by anyone or anything else. I’m in my 30’s and still have to remind myself of this some days.
Wow! I can’t believe that I read this in my email this morning! I have been praying for a book or help to study this very subject with my 13 soon to be 14 year old. She has been asking me questions about when is it appropriate to start dating, and sharing with me about a boy she likes. We have had many conversations and have prayed together but she is struggling in her walk right now and I think this book can help! I would love to win it for us as I have a 9 year old who is watching her big sister!
I have struggled with this as I came to know the Lord in my thirties after I was married. My prayer is that my girls would love and know the Lord early on so they can have a beautiful life knowing the One, True King!
Thanks
Love yourself. Don’t settle for less than your worth. Let God lead you and listen when God speaks
I wish that I would not have been scared to be the person God wanted me to be. I was always so worried (still am sometimes!) of what people thought of me and was always trying to be the person I thought EVERYONE else wanted me to be. I pray for my 3 daughters that they dont fall into that as well and are proud to be the girls that God I intended them to be.
Jesus Christ is my main man. This is what I have been taught. That Jesus Christ is my king of kings my Lord of lords,my Savior, my big brother, my dearest friend, my protector, my confidante, my husband spiritually andmy all and all.
I would love for my 16 year old daughter to read this book.
I wish someone had showed me in His word how loved and cherished and adored I was by my Heavenly Father. I may not have given myself to so many guys who did not respect me, but just wanted my body.
Wow this is a good resource. I have a niece I want to share this with.
I wish I would have been told that God’s love & His acceptance is ENOUGH and that if that alone is EVER *not* enough for any guy/man I might ever have been interested in hanging out with or dating, that he wasn’t worth spending any time with, much less breaking my heart over!! I wish I had understood that saying I’ve read time & time again, now as an adult, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her”… and that I would have had the skills as a young lady to have known how to be “hidden” in HIM!!
Now that I have a 10 year old daughter myself, I worry for her. I remember all the pain I went through, some of it I admit was sooo very recently. I want to shield her from the entire world, but especially from the pain that I know men cause. But, I also know that God created a very special man just for her…and I pray that He is preparing both my daughter and my future son-in-law’s hearts for each other… that they will BOTH keep their hearts so hidden in HIM, stay pure for each other, and be able to be the kind of married couple (and perhaps one day parents) God wants them to be. I pray that whatever the world tries to tell her she needs to be, that my daughter will be able to discern the truth and realize God has something BETTER planned for her. He loves her far more than what the world has to offer, and He wants to own her heart!!
All this, and more, is what I wish *I* had been told… I’m hoping that by reading this book together, perhaps, it will help open up doors of communication for me and my daughter at this critical time in her sweet life.
I’m so thankful that God placed the thought of this book on your heart, that you took the time and effort to write it, and most of all to share it with all of us!! I can’t wait to read it and share it with my daughter! Thanks again! God bless you and your ministry!!
If it doesn’t happen today it’s still okay. I used to think “it” needs to happen today or right now. It could have been fixing a problem, something I wanted to happen, what my plan was…. It was about control in my world. With God it’s different – it’s in His Timing, if it’s His will. He’s in control, I am not. He knows the beginning to the end, and everything in between. I don’t have to worry about it because He’s my father and loves me and knows my path.
Renee, I wish I would have listened to my mom who told us everyday that God loved us and was an all knowing loving God…she would end by saying “God is good! I spent many years seeking love and finding none…what I wished I knew was that I was already beloved! I would love this book for my niece who just entered college and has already been in an abusive relationship…. thx for the chance to win!
My prayer for my 3 teenage girls and 2 nieces is that they will have confidence based on who Christ says they are and realize that He is the only One who can satisfy. I would have made better choices if I had listened to such advice. 🙂
Growing up I always thought I needed a boyfriend to fill the void of an unhealthy father relationship. No one directed, encouraged, or pointed me to the One True Father to help fill that hurt and void and I wish I would have had that direction at that point in my life. Thankful for the mentors, leaders, and authors out there who are helping young girls and women with this issue of self esteem and worth in God’s eyes.
Am helping to lead a study with jr. high girls and this book would be great to receive to help pass on what I didn’t fully understand or receive – thanks for your book.
i was advised and told but i guess it was not really expressed. i experience it for a long long time. dont want my daughter to go through the same or worser.
I think I was told, but it didn’t fully sink in until later in life. Any guy who causes you to compromise your beliefs/morals is not worth your time. Its so hard for young girls to realize this when they’re in the middle of it, caught up in emotions. But, if they can truly come to realize and understand this, they’ll be saved a lot of pain and heartache.
I have 3 neices. One is 11 yrs old, her mother passed away 4 yrs ago, and although her father is in the picture he’s pretty much nonexistent in terms of spending time with her and encouraging her. I want her to know who she is in Christ and much He loves her before she looks for attention in all the wrong places and people. My other two neices are sisters and their parents are going through a divorce. They have been in an unstable environment for the last two years, watching their patents fight, watching their mom and dad’s new boyfriends/girlfriends come and go and trying to make sense of it all. I don’t have kids, so I find it hard to connect with them, but I try to love on them, encourage them, pray for them, and show them Jesus when I am able to spend time with them.
I want our daughter that is 15 to always know and own in her heart that she is a princess of God. I also want her to know that her dad & I have been praying for many years for God to be preparing the perfect husband for her. However, this is completely contrary to what she sees on TV, in magazines and at school. This book would be perfect for her!
She was only 16 when her Dad was killed in an automobile accident. She held it together better then I did. She knew life had to go on. So, she took care of her three little brothers. She cooked, cleaned, did her homework, and made sure their homework was done. She did the laundry, and took care of her mother, when it should have been the other way around! Two years later, when her Mom met someone else, and fell in love, she confided in her, that she never would have left her Mom and went off to college, if her Mom had not found someone else to love her and to take care of her! She is unselfish, beautiful (inside and out),and she always puts others’ needs ahead of her own! If she doesn’t deserve this book and this trip, I don’t know who does!
I am a girls youth group leader. My girls so need to hear this. 🙂
I have 4 granddaughters – the oldest is 7. This sounds like a very valuable book to share. To help them each see themselves as valued by Him.
I spent most of my teen and early adult years chasing all the wrong things. I knew the truth, but somehow didn’t truly understand the Holy Spirit. There was a hole in my heart I kept trying to stuff full of anything that brought momentary peace. Wasn’t until a few years ago, the Holy Spirit showed me the Truth. http://heavennotharvard.com/2014/07/22/packing-peanuts/
I felt so lost as a teenage girl. I was boy-crazy, not God-crazy. I made mistakes that I’ve regretted ever since. Thank you for this book. I’d love to win a copy.
Why is it such a struggle to come to the realization of how completely beautiful and valuable we are to our creator. The one who made us and loves us without reservation. It doesn’t seem to matter what age we are- it’s still a struggle.I am a grown woman and still have to remind myself that I am cherished – daily – and loved completely. Thank you God! How important it is and also special to share in the mentoring of our daughters, nieces, granddaughters, friends, students, etc. A book such as this is such an asset. Thank you!
I am still what I consider a teen and would really benefit from this book. I deal with a lot anxiety and this book would show me what God would want me to do. I still don’t know what he wants for my life.
Thank you for writing this book. This is just what my two teenage granddaughters need. Would love to win
a copy for them. They need this information! Thanks again for offering this so appreciate it. I wish this book had been around when I was growing up, things would have been very different now.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!! What a wonderful resource for our soon to be young ladies. I am convinced that one of the enemy’s best tools is “busyness” – it keeps us stirred up, chasing others’ agenda, detracts from our relationships & prayer time, & leaves us exhausted & empty. I’m resetting this fall AND LOVING IT! Slowing down, changing priorities & enjoying my beautiful gift ~ my girl!
I was very shy growing up and afraid to talk to boys until late in my high school years. Growing up, I wanted to find someone who made me feel loved. I thought maybe a boy could really love me. I can totally relate to putting so much feeling into a crush! But, I didn’t feel worthy of their time or attention. I wish someone had told me then that I could have a relationship with Jesus, that He loves me totally and completely and that I am worthy!
I would love a copy of this book to share with my 10 year old daughter to let her know how much Jesus loves her and that she is worthy of His love!
Sometimes all the things we have to teach our kids is overwhelming. I would love this book to share with my daughter and all her friends and moms. We are all striving to the best we can to raise girls who love Jesus.
I havea little girl, 1 year old and we’ve just invited a 16 year old young woman into our home as well. I want both of them to know how much God loves them and that only he can fill them! I want them to focus on being Godly girls and women rather than focusing on getting a boys’ attention. Because a nice Godly man will come along and sweep them off their feet when they are becoming the women God intended them to be!
To have learned as a teenager to put God 100% first and not be consumed with all the trivial junk of teenage years.
I think my 21-year-old daughter would benefit so much from reading this book. I would love to win it for her. Thank you!
My 15 year old daughter desperately needs to hear that God loves her and notices her. We are going through a very difficult time and she tells me she feels unloved. She is hurting and nothing I seem to be doing is helping her. This would be a great book for her and I to read together.
I desire that my tween/early teen daughters learn to glorify God throughout their lives. I pray that they are magnetically drawn to Him and His love.
Oh how much I even need this now as I have been beaten down to believe I have no value. Isa. 43 is becoming very special to me because He tealls us we are honored, valued, and loved.
I have a 15 year granddaughter who has found out the hard way, you can’t get a guy or keep a guy by the things you do or the way you look. She was very depressed for a few months. To the point she didn’t want to live. We where very concerned able her, she wanted to go to a different school. Her mother put her in Christian school, which my granddaughter had being wanting to go to for a long time. That has helped and she stayed several weeks during the summer with her sister. Her sister talked to her and that helped too. I feel this book could help change her life and see what is really important in life.
Oddly enough I think some of the best wisdom I know and saw lived out I learned from my Daughter! You might be thinking that’s backwards but God has amazing grace in how He teaches us! I know my mother and grandmothers were praying for me and for my future husband but I was’nt always listening or cooperating with The Lord in my life. Though I’ve been so blessed to watch my daughter grow through her trials as she waited for The Lord to bring the right man to her life. She did something very wise and began praying for her future husband as she read Stormie Omartian’s book of the same title. It shifted her focus off herself and onto The Lord and His provision for that man and also who she was to become in The Lord. She was married this spring to that wonderful man The Lord provided and as an added bonus we love his family too! The Lord is so wonderful!
This message just electrocuted my heart this morning! Have been feeling the need for this message for myself, my daughter and the desire to teach other young girls the importance of God’s pursuit of and love for them, rather than their pursuit for acceptance and love from the “boys” of this world… I look forward to reading and sharing this book!
I have a daughter who will be 15 next month and we are struggling for her to see the inner beauty and peace she could have with a deeper relationship with the Father. This would be an amazing book for us to read together and discuss.
I have a sweet little girl who I would love to share these thoughts with. Thank you for writing this book!!
BE YOURSELF (QUIRKS & ALL). LOVE YOURSELF (ALL ASPECTS OF YOURSELF). LOVE YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER WHO CREATED YOU (EPH 2:10). THE REST WILL FOLLOW.
I have a group of girls I’ve been mentoring for a few years, I’ve been blessed to be a part of some of their lives since they were babies. My life has gone wonky in the last few years, let’s just say that I have had some major faith building experiences. One of the major things I’ve been working to stress to them is that they don’t need a guy to complete them. They are 22 and 23 now and at such a pivotal point in their lives. I share how when I graduated college, I had a 10 year plan…graduate, get a teaching job, get married have my first child within 2 years and my 2nd within 2 years after that. That’s exactly what I did. Then I tell them the one thing I forgot was God’s plan. I did it my way. I married, and loved dearly, the “one” God didn’t have for me. I had 2 amazing boys, but there was a lot of hardship that probably wouldn’t have been there if I had checked in with God. I explain that by not including God, by trying to be bigger and more in control, God’s perfect plan became God’s permissible plan. I stress that they are enough and are loved by the Creator. Walking with Him will bring His plan to fruition. I don’t want them to settle.