There is a longing in the heart of every girl.
A longing to be wanted and pursued.
Each night when I pray for my beautiful girl, I want her to hear me thanking God for who she is and for the gift of being her mom! I want her to know she is wanted and valued. That I miss her when we’re not together. I want her to know she’s not a side-item on my very full plate, but she is my heart’s delight and dessert! And you know what? She’s thinks I’m pretty amazing too?
Well… at least for now.
But I’ve been a mommy before. And I know a day is coming when there will be competition for my girl’s attention.
More than me. More than her daddy. More than her big brothers. One day Aster is going to want a guy to want her, to pursue her, to choose her.
And when it happens, I don’t want to panic and wish I could do something to get her to stop chasing after some guy, hoping he’ll notice her. I want her to know…
She’s already been noticed.
She’s already captured Someone’s heart.
She’s already being pursued.
And even though Aster is only five and a half years old, I’m realizing that now is the time for me to start planting these truths in her heart. But it wasn’t until I read my friend Lynn Cowell’s new book “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants,“ that I realized I needed help to get started.
Lynn’s new book is for girls (and their moms) to walk alongside and help them discover how to become the best version of the beautiful girl God created her to be. There is so much I love about this message. And that is why I wanted to share with you an excerpt from Chapter One today {and I’ve got 3 copies to give away too!}:
“Why doesn’t he like me? I just couldn’t figure it out.
What is it about me that isn’t as attractive as her? Am I not as pretty? Am I too loud? Are my friends not cool enough? The questions gnawed at me, eating away at my confidence. He had liked me once,; surely I could get him to like me again. There had to be a way.
I was determined to find out what was wrong with me.
Back in my own “wish I were dating” days, my highs and lows depended on whether or not I saw him in the hall; my happiness was determined by whether or not he noticed me. The crush I had was crushing me.
I wish there had been someone who could have helped me…someone who could have helped me understand that the longing in my heart pointed not to my need for a guy, but to my deeper need for something, Someone, even greater.
How I wish I had known sooner that I was created to be loved perfectly and unconditionally, made to have my heart filled each and every day with love from the perfect Man – Jesus.
Then I could have spent my time, energy, and emotions, not on a guy I didn’t have, but on the One I did. I could have moved from obsessing over why I wasn’t wanted to becoming the type of girl a godly guy would want. Not just someone to date but someone he’d want to spend the rest of his life with.
I remember making the list, a gargantuan description of everything I was looking for in the guy I would marry one day. The more powerful list would have described the woman I wanted to become, the woman he couldn’t resist!
What would happen if you made the switch now? Shifted your focus off a guy and onto the Guy?
What if, together, we discovered an irresistible beauty deeper than designer clothes, jean sizes, and flaw-free skin? A confidence so attractive, nothing could cause us to lose it? A glamour simply magnetic?
In my quest to discover true beauty, I began to see gorgeous as much more than the face in my mirror. Gorgeous is not skin-deep but heart-deep, a beauty that develops as my heart discovers and returns True Love.
This beauty, this attractiveness, is found in the girl who has what I call “captivating characteristics”—what the Bible calls “the fruit of the Spirit.” These heart traits are described in Galatians 5:22–23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
These magnetic traits are the result, or fruit, of the girl who has given her entire life to Jesus. The girl who spends her emotional energy allowing Him to live His life through her.
But, you don’t have to burn yourself out trying to become perfect. These gorgeous qualities will show up as you spend time with God and He pours His perspective into you!
When you’re “planted” in God, He provides all you need to reach your full potential—to be the best you you can be!
And, instead of chasing after the guy running from you, you’re pursuing the One coming after you. In the process of seeking His heart, you’ll become the amazing individual He designed you to be, a girl who is irresistibly magnetic, beautiful inside and out!
ENTER TO WIN:
Packed with honesty, encouragement and perspective-changing Magnetic, truth by Lynn Cowell,(available at Amazon, B&N, CBD, everywhere books are sold), will empower girls and young woman to reach their fullest potential by focusing on becoming who God made them to be! A girl who reflects God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A girl who will attract the right type of guy one day: one who loves God with all his heart and who will cherish her!
CLICK “Share Your Thoughts” under this post and ENTER to WIN!
Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 speaker and the author of several books including “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants”. Her passion is to empower wise women to raise wiser daughters. Her husband and their three children live in North Carolina where they love to hike, raft and enjoy anything that includes chocolate and peanut butter!
My beautiful daughter is 21. She has dated, yet she struggles with her self; insecurity, worth & loveliness in Christ.
Her father & I have prayed for the man He desires for her. We tell her to know Jesus to become & believe who He made her to be.
I struggled with the same. As her mom I love her fiercely, yet God loves her best. I would live to give her this book & own a copy of my own!
I wish I had been taught that not only could I have a relationship with my Savior but that He wanted to have one with me. It’s not that I was specifically raised to believe it was how I dressed and acted that would result in “that guy” liking me but I wasn’t taught anything that didn’t show me that. (I hope what I mean is understood. It’s hard to put into words.)
I have two amazing daughters who are 11 & 8, and all I can pray and hope for, is that they continue to communicate with me throughout their growing years. Even when it is so embarrassing! I wished I would have had better communication with my own parents as an adolescent. I think it is so important that we allow our children, especially a girl, to know that she can talk with mom or dad no matter how embarrassing it could be. That we will be accepting and loving no matter what. To do that I do believe they need to grow up seeing mom as a vulnerable, yet strong woman. As well as hearing about how much God loves them, and sharing how important they are to us and such a gift from God. I do believe teaching and being a part of their communication is such key to a young woman being successful in giving her heart up cautiously to another human being other than God, mom and dad.
Wow, I would love to have a copy of this for my 13 year old daughter. I want her to know just how wanted and precious she is. I want her to be confident in who she God says she is and in His love and passion for her.
To know that my heart had already been spoken for….that there was One who had asked me to spend Eternity with Him before I was even created…that the one I should search for here on earth, knew his heart had already been spoken for also….to know how deep, how wide, how vast was our ONE TRUE LOVE!!
I still think I need to hear this encouragement and I’m 32. I have an almost 2 year old daughter who looks up to me to teach her how to be satisfied by THE Man instead of a man and I wish I had had this confidence as a teenager and honestly now. After almost 8 years of marriage I found out my husband was unfaithful and he is no longer living at home with my daughter and I. I pray that in spite of the choices those around her make, my daughter grows up to be the confident, self-assured, God-loving woman that I wish I could have been.
I want my daughter to value herself based on the knowledge that she is already valued and loved more than she will ever know by her creator and not on what anyone else thinks of her. Chasing the fantasies of the “if onlies” will never bring happiness or joy to any soul.
I am 26 and single, and all i want to be is a wife and mom, but God has kept me from marrying the wrong guy twice now, and it feels as though i am never going to meet “the one”, it seems as though everyone around me is getting married and having kids, but some of the best advice i have ever heard was from a friend, who told me once that “Love is not a competition”. 😉 And too often i compare myself with other’s,wether its their relationship or their talents or beauty, and now every time i catch myself playing the comparison game, i stop and remember that ‘love is not a competition”, and neither is the Christian life, I just want to focus on who God made me to be, and serving Him, and be all that i can for Him wether i ever get married or not :), because life isnt about me it’s about Him, and as long as our focus is in the right place that’s when we have true peace and joy…..no matter what stage of life we are in.
I am 57 & had no guidance from anyone, my mom was & still is a lost soul. I married 36 yrs ago for all the wrong reasons & so has my daughter for 11 long yrs. now. U now have a 3 yr. old GD I would love to save from this generational mistake. I think this book would be helpful to all 3 generations. I am the ONLY one saved in this mess & have been for 18 yrs. now.
Ooh… looks like a good one for me and my 13 year old daughter. 🙂 May I model what I long for her!
This would be a great book to read and discuss with Jr. High girls youth group as they are going through that “boy crazy” stage of life!
I wish I had known that God’s love for me would never change, regardless of the feelings of others around me, loved ones, friends, and especially boys. As a teenager in high school I used to tell my mom all I ever wanted to be was a wife and mom, but I worried about finding the right guy, and sometimes allowed my feelings and need for love and desire to be a wife and mom to get in the way of seeking God’s will for my life. I thank God for stopping me from making a huge mistake and bringing me together with my wonderful, godly husband who pushes me every day to seek the Lord. We now have a beautiful, sweet baby boy and I praise God for the wonderful blessings He’s given me! My friend, Lauren, is struggling right now, wondering when she will ever have a boyfriend, and I think this book would be a huge help for her! Thank you for your encouragement and wise words! God bless!
I wish I had fully grasped how much Jesus loved me just as I was and stopped trying to be all to everyone in hopes of being accepted. I pray my two daughters will full embrace God’s love and allow it to flow in and through them.
I wish I knew more about Jesus and his love for me when I was a teenager. As a teenager, I thought I was no one special unless a boy liked me. I wish I knew back then what I know now. Jesus is all you need and he will help me with all my needs. Now I need the help to instill this message into my daughter’s heart.
I wish I had a Godly mentor as a child to share with me Gods love and truth
My mother passed away when I was 12, so I did not have a mother/best friend in my life to help me through my teenage years. I did not have her to go to for advice on boyfriends, dating or other matters that a young girl needs adult female guidance with. I wish I could’ve had someone to helped me and mentored me during these crazy years. Someone to led me in the direction of seeking God’s help. Praying for God to send me the right mate instead of running wild looking for him. My son’s have a good Godly wife, that I am so proud of. But now we have the grandkids to go through all this with.
This melted my heart! Especially the picture of Aster & your words describing what you wanted for Aster. Love watching you live out those words as you love Aster well & as you love her deeply!
Psalms 46:5 NASB
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.
God’s Word moves me to the place I need to be. When I am mentoring to my young college age, sisters in Christ, I point them to the Lord who made them and let Him minister to their souls. Jesus is the lover of our souls!❤️
As I look back to my teenage years, I wish I would’ve had the wisdom I have now…and even someone who would have spoke God’s truth into my life. I would have done things different if I would have known better. I don’t regret my past experience because it has made me the woman I am today and given me passion to share with young girls and young women what He has instilled in me. I am thankful for books like this because it is also what God has used to shape me and mold me into the woman He created me to be 🙂
It wasn’t until I had a true relationship with Him that I began to live out His beautiful truth for my life.
I wish I had known the Lord as I was growing up. I have always compared myself to others and at the time did not realize that is a sin. God is working to help me change. I raised a son and daughter and wish I had know this for her. Now I have two granddaughters and would love this book to help me encourage them and help them to know all they need is Jesus. That others especially a boy can not give them the desires of their hearts. Thank you and God bless
While my girls have already found the man that we prayed for in their lives and are already married, we have a son that is still single and looking for a Godly woman and I pray for her in this manner. After having suffered much ritualistic abuse as a child and through it all finding my Savior Jesus Christ, I really have involved my life in the lives of all women from birth to 90+ teaching them of the One who truly loves and infiltrates our hearts with His presence….Our Savior and Redeemer and Lover and Counselor……He is our One and Only! Thank you for sharing this book and I pray that it will touch many hearts of women out there who are still searching and still have a hole in their hearts that can only be filled with Christ! May we all continue to “live” in such a way that Christ is seen in use, our only Hope!
Blessings to you all!
This is what I have been telling my girls for years. I wish it wasn’t so hard to sink in. 4 kids, 1 married all love Jesus.
I have a beautiful 9 year-old daughter, and I want her to have her self-worth through God instead of trying to find her value through the eyes of a boyfriend.
With two teenage girls…and being recently divorced, wow could we use this book. I need these truths just as much as my girls. What advice do I have now that I wish I’d had? Exactly what this book talks about. Pursue God with all your heart and let Him shine through you. Let His beauty radiate through you and it will capture the heart of the one He has planned for you.
Would love to win this book! I’ve got 3 granddaughters but also so many women still struggle married and single that need to know their # One love.
I have several girls in my life that would benefit from this book!
I wish I had this insight when I was a young girl. This would have saved me a lot of heartache and pain.
When I read this email, my heart immediately went to “my girls!” They are not really my girls. I do not have children, but oh how I love them and want to spare them the heartaches I had growing up. There are seven of them. I would be so excited to be able to sow this “powerful” message into their young lives. Thanks for giving me the chance at doing that! God bless all of you! You are ALL such a blessing to me!
As a girl that was sexually abused for over 15 years of my life in various forms (molested, raped, maritally raped – from age 5 -20), I wish someone would have shared the truth of Psalm 139 with me back then – this Psalm has transformed the way that I think about myself and I taught it’s truths to my 3 daughters as well and now I am privileged to teach it to women at my church. This book sounds amazing and I look forward to reading and sharing it with the young women and mothers of girls at my church. Thanks for the blessing!
What an amazing opportunity, thank you! I have two girls under the age of ten, and my prayer is that they seek Jesus first, before all else…although like you, I know there will come a day when their attention will be turned to other things. The world is so full of distractions.
Wow, how different my life would have been had I known these truths as a girl. I’m the stereotypical story. Divorced parents. Rarely saw (but totally adored) my dad. Only occasional, negative attention from my mom. Ergo, I go. Wrong direction, wrong guy(s), always searching, and not even sure what I was searching for, or even that I WAS searching. BUT – God uses ALL things for GOOD and for HIS glory. Because of my trials, and there were too many ugly ones to count, I believe God equipped me with the experience, knowledge, wisdom and tools to be His representative to my beautiful daughter (now 13). I know what I need to give her, because I didn’t get it. She DOES and WILL know that Jesus is her guy. I don’t know if I’m doing it all correctly, but God does. And with Him guiding me, how can I go wrong?! I’d love to have this book as a tool to guide my communication with my precious gift from God!
My daughter, Destiny, is 14 yrs old (already). This sounds like just what we both need!!!!
I wish I’d had something like this when I was a teen. It would have helped. Maybe I would have learned it then instead of having to learn it in my late 30’s. God has been working with me in this area for a few years. I now know God loves me unconditionally just as I am and He has been the One perusing me for some time. I had and am still learning God is the One I need to be chasing after, not some guy. My prayer has always been that God would make me into the woman He wanted to be, that woman who loves and wants to serve Him. Maybe someday God will send that godly man I’ve prayed for and I’ll be the type of woman he’ll want. As time goes on my love for God deepens and grows and my desire to chase after a guy lessens. I am a work in progress.
I have a 13 year old daughter, and I know those days are soon approaching. This book sounds wonderful.
This book sounds wonderful. If for some reason I am not able to get the book this way, I would try to buy it.
So excited for a book that encourages young ladies to.be confident in the Lord….
I want my daughter to realize that she is the only one like her in all the world, that God made her wonderfully, precisely and JUST RIGHT! I tell her these things a lot and it is what I grew up knowing about myself as I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home with two AWESOME parents. Unfortunately, just like me, she does not always believe me when she starts comparing herself to other girls…this book sounds like something that could really help her understand how to truly rest and strive to remain smack dab in the middle of God’s will for her life, no matter what is going on around her or what her friends are up to. As a young Christian woman, she, unfortunately, seems to be in the minority these days at school….she loves to read and I am sure would draw many truths and strengths from this book. She is 16 and there is no better time for her to really start “getting” this truth.
By the way I loved your Confident Heart book! Spoke right to my heart and felt like a friend in my ear the whole time I was reading it…especially the last several chapters.
I wish I could have realized just how much God loved me and how relentless His love is. When we realize this and place our focus on God’s love for us we can become truely beautiful and attractive to those around us. This book sound like a great tool to share with young women.
Oh my goodness the things I wish I knew then that I know now. This book would have been just what my little soul needed because everything she described in this excerpt is so what I was thinking. I made a mess of me and only until I got older did I realize all the destructive choices I made. I would so love to win this for my daughter. She is so tenderhearted and it scares me to death. If I don’t win this, I am definately buying it for her. Thanks for all you do. I love my Proverbs 31 ladies.
Lynn’s statement – “But, you don’t have to burn yourself out trying to become perfect. These gorgeous qualities will show up as you spend time with God and He pours His perspective into you!” – gives hope to older ‘girls,’ too! MAGNETIC sounds like a great book for all girls. Can you imagine how different our world would be if every young girl would know the song “Beautiful – in His eyes” (and of course, the meaning behind that song) and would cling to that, especially during their teenage years? Sounds like a great give-away!!! Pam
As a little girl if I had only knew that God’s love surpasses all things and is the only thing that can satisfy ones soul, I could have made better decisions and lived a happier childhood! I have two young daughters age 6 and 4 and my prayer for them is that they focus on Jesus’ s face first and foremost in all things they do and have him as their number one man…
I so needed this as a teenager. I felt like I was a nobody because of people around me who would pick and talk about me. My Loving Mother pass it will be 3 years next month and she raised one of my great nieces who is so lost without her. She confines in me because I was always around helping Mama. I would so love for her to have this book. She’s in the 8th grade and she is still having a hard time accepting her Granny’s passing. I ask your prayers for Kajarian.
Never having a Godly father, I always searched for that fatherly love In all the wrong ways. Not until I’ve grown older did I understand and accept my true Father that I was missing all along. My many years of searching for approval and unconditional love is finally over. I would like to share this book with my 11 yr old daughter.
It is my prayer every day that my daughter (who is just 7) will grow up knowing who she is and whose she is. That loving God and having a relationship with Him must come first. That she is loved by the one who created her and loves her more than anyone – including me. 🙂 I wish I had grown up that way. I spent so much time worrying about boys and who I would marry. No regrets anymore – just thankful for all God has done for me and how he has changed me over the years. I cannot wait to read this book and share it with my daughter!!
The greatest thing we can do for young ladies is to help them to see and and discover were their identity comes from who they are in Christ Jesus. And not from anyone or anything in this world.
My father encouraged me to not “go steady” (45 years ago in my day, that meant dating someone exclusively). He said it was so that when a boy asked me out on a date, I knew that he really wanted to be with me vs. ‘having’ to go out with me each weekend. His real motive was that he knew that when couples become exclusive they run the risk of stepping over the line with intimacy. I never did go steady in high school though many of my friends did (and did cross the line). I would love this book for my two granddaughters.
Along with many others, I too wish I would have know this as a teenager. I have been blessed with 3 beautiful daughters and each of them have also struggled with their own self esteem issues & dating. I feel each of us as we were going through our teen years felt “Mom” doesn’t know anything, so when we were told at that point to seek God first, it wasn’t truly understood and since “mom” said it, we just put it aside. At this point in my life, I have also been blessed with 2 beautiful grandchildren and they are 2 & 3 years old. I really feel this is the time to start letting them know how truly loved they are by our Heavenly Father. Build that love for the Lord now and hopefully it will stay with them not only through their teen years, but through their entire life.
This looks like a great book to share!! I have 3 granddaughters who I would love to share this with. I wish I had had this when growing up. My grandmother was my Christian mentor who I tried to pattern my life after. Now I am trying to leave a legacy for my daughters and granddaughters. Thank you for sharing an excerpt from this book it looks as though it would be worth the purchase.
I would love to share this book with a Friend as she has a 8 yr. old Step-daughter and she just took on her sister-in-law’s 2 boys and 5 yr old daughter. So these are her babies and I think this would be a great book for her to share with the girls. I needed something like this when my daughter was growing into a head strong lady.
Unfortunately, I never received any moral, Godly advice from either of my parents as I was not raised in a Christian home. My Mom was wrapped up in herself during my dating years and my Dad was clueless as to what to tell his teenage daughter about love and boys, etc.
I am very grateful to God that he brought a man into my life who is a God-fearing, spiritual and financial provider for our family. We have 2 biological and 2 adopted daughters (9 & 8) from China. Life has been a blessing due to focusing our goals, dreams and desires of our hearts around God. Would love the book to share with my youngest daughters. You are a blessing, Renee! Thanks for your inspiration! Love, Hugs & Blessings~
I am a mother of 3 daughters. One married with two beautiful chlldren. I being a grandma. It is like my Heavenly Father has redeemed the time for me for those years I felt I lost raising my own children when they were 3 and under. I didn’t know and understand the love of my Heavenly Father, my ‘identity’ IN Christ.
Always in the competition in the ‘middle’ of seven children. My mother was very insecure herself and raised by her mother. Her dad was an alcoholic who left when she was 2 years old. Never to see him again. My mother had a lot of issues unresolved as my father did also. My dad fought in the Korean War and was badly injured and emotionally scarred by it. He was an alcoholic and suffered with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) which was not diagnosed for years. They met shortly after he had come back from the war to recuperate from his injuries. Then they were married.
I do remember my mother taking us to church every Sunday. My father never came even though he was raised as a child in the church. We didn’t talk about that. “Do as I say not as I do.” Which gave very mixed confusing messages.
I saw religion but never really understood a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father until I was married and had 3 children of my own. Didn’t know my identity in Christ. I was always looking for acceptance.
I made many mistakes raising my daughters over the years. I have learned and am learning about the Love of my Heavenly Father and His infinite grace, mercy, love and hope.
I wish I had this book years ago when raising my daughters. I have the opportunity now to walk the talk with my daughters as they are young women and with my grandchildren. I thank my Heavenly Father for His GREAT LOVE and FORGIVENESS. I thank Him for the Body of Christ.
I would love to be able pass this wisdom and blessing on to them.
Blessings to you