There is a longing in the heart of every girl.
A longing to be wanted and pursued.
Each night when I pray for my beautiful girl, I want her to hear me thanking God for who she is and for the gift of being her mom! I want her to know she is wanted and valued. That I miss her when we’re not together. I want her to know she’s not a side-item on my very full plate, but she is my heart’s delight and dessert! And you know what? She’s thinks I’m pretty amazing too?
Well… at least for now.
But I’ve been a mommy before. And I know a day is coming when there will be competition for my girl’s attention.
More than me. More than her daddy. More than her big brothers. One day Aster is going to want a guy to want her, to pursue her, to choose her.
And when it happens, I don’t want to panic and wish I could do something to get her to stop chasing after some guy, hoping he’ll notice her. I want her to know…
She’s already been noticed.
She’s already captured Someone’s heart.
She’s already being pursued.
And even though Aster is only five and a half years old, I’m realizing that now is the time for me to start planting these truths in her heart. But it wasn’t until I read my friend Lynn Cowell’s new book “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants,“ that I realized I needed help to get started.
Lynn’s new book is for girls (and their moms) to walk alongside and help them discover how to become the best version of the beautiful girl God created her to be. There is so much I love about this message. And that is why I wanted to share with you an excerpt from Chapter One today {and I’ve got 3 copies to give away too!}:
“Why doesn’t he like me? I just couldn’t figure it out.
What is it about me that isn’t as attractive as her? Am I not as pretty? Am I too loud? Are my friends not cool enough? The questions gnawed at me, eating away at my confidence. He had liked me once,; surely I could get him to like me again. There had to be a way.
I was determined to find out what was wrong with me.
Back in my own “wish I were dating” days, my highs and lows depended on whether or not I saw him in the hall; my happiness was determined by whether or not he noticed me. The crush I had was crushing me.
I wish there had been someone who could have helped me…someone who could have helped me understand that the longing in my heart pointed not to my need for a guy, but to my deeper need for something, Someone, even greater.
How I wish I had known sooner that I was created to be loved perfectly and unconditionally, made to have my heart filled each and every day with love from the perfect Man – Jesus.
Then I could have spent my time, energy, and emotions, not on a guy I didn’t have, but on the One I did. I could have moved from obsessing over why I wasn’t wanted to becoming the type of girl a godly guy would want. Not just someone to date but someone he’d want to spend the rest of his life with.
I remember making the list, a gargantuan description of everything I was looking for in the guy I would marry one day. The more powerful list would have described the woman I wanted to become, the woman he couldn’t resist!
What would happen if you made the switch now? Shifted your focus off a guy and onto the Guy?
What if, together, we discovered an irresistible beauty deeper than designer clothes, jean sizes, and flaw-free skin? A confidence so attractive, nothing could cause us to lose it? A glamour simply magnetic?
In my quest to discover true beauty, I began to see gorgeous as much more than the face in my mirror. Gorgeous is not skin-deep but heart-deep, a beauty that develops as my heart discovers and returns True Love.
This beauty, this attractiveness, is found in the girl who has what I call “captivating characteristics”—what the Bible calls “the fruit of the Spirit.” These heart traits are described in Galatians 5:22–23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
These magnetic traits are the result, or fruit, of the girl who has given her entire life to Jesus. The girl who spends her emotional energy allowing Him to live His life through her.
But, you don’t have to burn yourself out trying to become perfect. These gorgeous qualities will show up as you spend time with God and He pours His perspective into you!
When you’re “planted” in God, He provides all you need to reach your full potential—to be the best you you can be!
And, instead of chasing after the guy running from you, you’re pursuing the One coming after you. In the process of seeking His heart, you’ll become the amazing individual He designed you to be, a girl who is irresistibly magnetic, beautiful inside and out!
ENTER TO WIN:
Packed with honesty, encouragement and perspective-changing Magnetic, truth by Lynn Cowell,(available at Amazon, B&N, CBD, everywhere books are sold), will empower girls and young woman to reach their fullest potential by focusing on becoming who God made them to be! A girl who reflects God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A girl who will attract the right type of guy one day: one who loves God with all his heart and who will cherish her!
CLICK “Share Your Thoughts” under this post and ENTER to WIN!
Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 speaker and the author of several books including “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants”. Her passion is to empower wise women to raise wiser daughters. Her husband and their three children live in North Carolina where they love to hike, raft and enjoy anything that includes chocolate and peanut butter!
What a fantastic book – I wish I had known these things as a teen. Even though my daughter is 23 – she struggles with her male choices – oh how I would love to study this with her!
I always knew as a child God loved me, but after being sexually abused by my older brother, my self worth declined. I tried very hard to teach my daughter, who is now 23, how special she is & how much God loves her & has a special husband chosen just for her. I am still working on these lessons! My hearts desire is to also mentor my 2 great-nieces (the granddaughtera of my brother) so they do not have to suffer horrible acts as well. Praise God for His love and grace.
We went to church as a family growing up, but, really didn’t talk about the Bible or God at home, or were we encouraged to pray for Godly men! 🙁 I would like so much better for my daughter!! I am praying for her future husband, if there is to be one, now! 🙂
I wish I had know as a young girl that God was who I was searching for. It would have saved a lot of heartache. At times now I can still feel my heart tugging to search for that perfect mate when Christ has already been that for me. I have a 19 year old daughter that this book would be a blessing to. I pray the man we both are destined to meet will find us instead of us seeking. Blessings
I need this book for my granddaughter. And for myself. We have this 13 yrs old girl living with us and she is so unhappy and hard to talk to. As a grandmother that never has had girls around, I don’t know what to say or how to lead her in the right direction. I need lots of God’s teaching.
This sounds like a great book! Something that my daughter and I should go through together!
I was told to not settle for someone who just liked me. When I met my husband I knew he was the one God sent for him. He was head over heels and not afraid to show it. But he wasn’t possessive. He was happy to have me pursue my goals and dreams. We truly are a team. I’m so thankful that I waited for him.
Wish this book was around when we moved onto a Bible college campus back in the 60’s. I was 16 and had to go by the college rules along with my parents! I probably would have an easier life, but there was no one to coach us through this move. I think this book would be great for my daughter who has a daughter of her own. My daughter and her family are not living for The Lord and I Pray for them daily. Thank you!
Having 3 girls, I pray they have the confidence to know who they are in Christ and a desire to lean on Him. I know that if I had this type of mindset, I would have viewed life experiences differently. Each experience shapes us and life would be so much easier if we had God’s plan in mind. Of course, all things happen for a reason, and God’s perfect plan.
Sure wish I had this when I was a teen. However, 45 years later after trials and heartaches, I am blessed with a wonderful man. I would love to have this book, though, to share with my young adult daughter that has been burned too many times. This excerpt in today’s devotion could not say it better. Thanks for sharing!
I so wish that I would have had this book to read years ago as a teen and even with my daughters. My oldest is in her 20s and the youngest just went to college she is 18. But I would love to still have a copy of this book to share with them and with other young girls… I work with the 6th grade and our youth at church…
I wish…cam only go forward now …differently
I truly believe the most precious gift we can pass on to the girls in our life is to teach them to see who they are in Christ. When we get our eyes off of the World’s definition of beauty and focus on the truth of God’s Word- it is life-changing. Then we are free to share His love with others!
You are so right, Susan! Knowing who they are in Christ gives them confidence. It is from this confidence they can love others.
I wish I had this book when I was a teenager, I wish I knew the Lord when I was a teen. Sometimes I think if I had these things maybe I wouldn’t have made certain choices I made. I would love to win this book. I can see myself and my 8 year old (2nd child but the oldest of three girls) cuddled up reading chapter by chapter right before bed, then praying all these things for her. I don’t want my kids to make those same decisions I made and think they need the love of another to made whole and need to be seen by the opposite sex to have value. When God sees them and values them, they are princes and princesses of a King!
I wish I had known how important to God I was. Then I wouldn’t have needed to strive so hard to please a boy. I have 2 teenage daughters – This book would be a great resource!
If I had wisdom to pass on to my granddaughter is love God with all your heart and run every decision your about to make by God. Thank you for your book and all the P31 books. They have helped me so much, I wish I had known what I have learned when I was still a child. Love you.
Oh how I wish when I was a teenager that I knew how truly loved and special I was. But instead I believed so many of the lies and insecurities that were around me. I was hurt and damaged for many years. I never want my daughter’s to go experience the things I did when it came to getting boyfriends and how I looked at myself.
I wish I had realized not all attention is good attention.
Wow, this book seems to be very interesting. Even though I don’t have a daughter, I could give this book to my 3 nieces who could learn so much about loving themselves and loving God. I wish as a young girl growing up, I would have had a book like this one to read. In today’s time there are so many good books that are written based on God’s word and how w should follow His will for our life. Thank you for sharing this book.
This book is a book I would like to read for myself and use to mentor other girls and women alike. Girls this day and time need these insights more than ever. It seems that everything focuses on the outward appearance instead of the inward beauty of the soul. Jesus pursues us and all we have to do is turn around and embrace Him for all the love we need. God wants us to edify one another, support one another and mentor one another. Thank you for the opportunity to register to win this book. Thank you for the tidbits from this book. Have a wonderful day and bask in the sunshine of God’s love.
Oh so much truth in what Lynn has written in that first chapter. I remember oh so well those days and as I sit and reflect, I wish I had known the depth of God’s love for me. I knew he loved me, but didn’t comprehend the depth. Nor do I today @ 50. What a treasure it would be to know fully and completely that he is the ONE you should be pursuing and everything else would fall into place. Would love to win a copy of this book. <3 Blessings!
Cindy,
I appreciate your comment. I knew God loved me too, but I didn’t understanding the implications of that. Knowing His love and relying on it would have made an major impact on my life when I was younger.
I have 4 daughters. The oldest is 22 and my youngest is 6. I also have a 12 yr old and a 15 year old. This book would be such a blessing to help my daughters to realize that THE GUY they should focus on is the One who will never leave them or forsake them. Thank you for writing this book and helping young women to realize their value and the respect they deserve. God Bless
I am currently raising 2 girls on my own, age 8 and 15. I ran from God for a LONG time and have just recently found my way home. I pray daily that it is not too late to teach my oldest daughter that God loves her more than anything and that the issues she has with friends, school, and boys aren’t the end of the world.
Love the pic of Aster!! This is a book I needed and one I can’t share with my girls and nieces. Such an important life changing message!! Thanks for sharing!!
Loved “seeing” you on the webcast the other night!
This sounds like an amazing book. Wish I had this book when I was growing up. This would be such a wonderful experience for my daughter, who also struggled with the same thing and now has two daughters – ages 7 & 11, to share the wisdom in this book with them.
For me had I know how valued I was my life would have taken a drastic turn. The last of six children I became the forgotten child for most of my life….but true to His Word. I have found that I am valued, loved, and pursued by a Heavenly Father who loves me. I pray that my daughters will know this same love in a deep and meaningful way. Blessings.
He is so faithful, Wanda! Thank you for sharing!
I wish someone would have told me to focus on God. Grow your relationship with Him first. Pursue Him above all else. I hope I can teach my daughter’s to pursue God and help them understand how much he loves them!
I love my three girls. The best advice I could give my daughters from my mother is,”Do as i say not as I do.” My mother was not perfect, she made a lot of mistakes,as I do daily. She was an alcoholic and drug addict. I am neither by the Grace of God. I know I make lots of mistakes getting angry and saying things that I shouldn’t and more. I love my mother and also by the Grace of God is in recovery here to share in the love of these beautiful gifts from above.
I wish I would have known and understood God and his love for me! I want to make sure my 3 year old daughter knows and understands! I need all the help I can get!
Praise God, The Lord has blessed me and refined me. I am so happy and joyful. When a child I would ride by bike to church through the week and go in and pray. God is faithful He is all I need.
I have 4 grand-daughters, 5, 7,10 & 11 that I am praying for daily. Mostly about their self-confidence and self-worth. I reaffirm their beauty and success whenever I talk with them. Our women’s study just studied about God’s daily pursuit of us and the romantic relationship we can have with Him which has triggered my prayer to be an openness for them to have with the Lord gaining them the desires of their hearts thru their relationship with their Heavenly Father rather than seeking to be fulfilled by things of the world. This would be a great resource to use with them. Blessings!
I wish someone had told me that God was who I was searching for when I was growing up! & That trying to find the right guy on my own was a waste of time. Best advice (finally), never date a guy you would not marry & most guys are a version of their dad. If you like their dad… You’ll most likely like the son, too. Now, I’ve been married 19 years & am trying my best to raise my own daughter on the right path!
Great advice, Carrie!
I wish as a teenager someone would have told me that “As a child of God we were DESIGNED to find our identity, our significance, and our confidence in Him”. Knowing this, I would not have been looking to guys to make me feel valuable and confident. Thank God it’s never too late to learn. 🙂 I would love to win a copy of the book, Magnetic, to share with my mentee.
I so wish I had known God’s unconditional love for me when I was a young girl! That love would have saved me time spent looking in the wrong direction and made me a stronger woman today. I want so much more for my daughter. I think that is the circle of life – we learn from our mistakes and hopefully teach our children better with God’s and Christian girlfriend’s help!!!
This book is so timely. I have a 15 year old daughter and just within the past few weeks I have discussed with her that God loves her more than anyone else ever could and that I pray for her to feel that love above all else. I also pray that she sees herself the way Christ sees her. It is such a difficult age and I pray I can be a good example and have encouraging words for her.
I wish I would have godly wisdom from my parents but we didn’t talk about the Bible, God or pray.
looking forward to reading with my daughter Bella 11 years old. God Bless her
Thank you so much for investing in her, Olga!
Well this is perfect for this morning. I will give two thoughts. I was up late when we daughter called from college saying she thought her and her boyfriend were breaking up. She had dated a guy from high school and then went to college and after 5 years total together they broke up and although we were happy about it she was devastated and wouldn’t eat or drink and lost a lot of weight. We told her God had someone for her just specially for her and tried to get her to focus on that and also on the fact of what we saw were some major flags in the relationship. She now has dated a guy for several months and we love him and think he would make a wonderful son in law in the future. They did not break up but now there is concern. So..I think this book would be great for her to read. For me, when I was growing up although in a Christian home, my thoughts were very much on guys and having a boyfriend no matter who it was really. I would have loved to have had someone to mentor me and come beside me and really invest in me that God had that perfect person for me and to have fun, enjoy life and let God truly, fully work instead of focusing so much on having that boyfriend.
I am so sorry for your girl’s troubles, Debbie!
Magnetic helps a girl switch her focus; from fixating on finding a guy to focusing on The Guy – Jesus. When I was growing up, we were told to make a list of what we were looking for in a guy. I still think that is important, but I think the more valuable thing would have been for someone to teach me to be the girl with the character not just look for the guy with the character.
I would love to have this book to give to my pre-teen (12yr old) granddaughter! I am honored to be an instrument in encouraging her down the right path regarding relationships and her own self-worth; Two things I did not have growing up and had to learn on my own – by the grace of God!
Doreen – I wish I had a grandma like you! Keep going!!!
My oldest daughter made choices that were worldly. I want her to seek and know she is number one to God and he loves her more than any other guy or stuff can. She has two sisters that we desire they seek the Lord and feel his every lasting love.
Renae – our family has had our share of painful choices too. It has been a hard road to realize their free will is really powerful. I ask Jesus to help me pour His wisdom into their hearts and trust Him to make it real to them.
I would love to read this book with my 11 year old daughter.
Leigh – starting early is so important! I looked at it this way – Disney was preaching their messages to my girls as soon as they were old enough to sit in front of a screen. I had to start doing the same 🙂
I thank God that He didn’t answer many of my thoughtless prayers during my teenage years but instead gave me a loving Christian husband. I would love for my 3 teenage granddaughters to read this book!
His wisdom is the best!!!
I wish I had realized that what my friends thought or what “that guy” thought were not nearly as important as what God thought of my clothes, actions, etc. Inner beauty far outweighs what the world sees as beauty. Once you learn to let God love you as only He can, the rest all falls into place.
Joyce – my daughter is a senior in high school. Of course clothes, guys and all of that are all really important. She is reaching the point, though, where even if she doesn’t “fit in” – which because of her faith she doesn’t – she is still more than ok with herself. That is what I want for EVERY teen girl!
If only I had a book like this when I was a girl. I just went through a divorce after a 20 year marriage. He left me for someone else. That’s when I realized my whole identity was in who my husband said I was. My goal now is to discover who God says I am. I have a 10 year old daughter adopted from China who has now experienced being abandon twice. I’m going to teach her daily that her identity is in Christ. This book sounds like a perfect place to begin.
Susan – I am so sorry! You are so right – the power of knowing that our confidence and identity cannot be wrapped up in someone, someplace or something is invaluable. Jesus – the One who never changes!
I need to read this book. Single after 20 years of trying to get my husband to love and respect me. I’ve had Him all along.
How beautiful, Belinda! I’ve had Him all along!
I wish i knew that i was truely loved, wanted, and worthy. Because i didnt know this there were some unwise choices made. Now, i have an eight year old daughter that im working hard to get to know this. She doesnt have confidence and that is hard.
Dusty,
Just as you are learning you are truly loved, wanted and worthy, your girl can learn too!
One thing I am learning is that this is not a “once and done” with my kids. I have to keep pouring and pouring and pouring. And the great thing is that while I am pouring truth into them…I’m pouring truth into me too!
Every girl old or young needs to see herself as a daughter of The King and not as the world wants her to believe. It is so hard where the darts of the enemy and the media are constantly shooting us down.
Judy, as I share this message with young women, my husband reminds me it’s not just a young girl message…it a young and old, male and female message. We all need to know that we are adored, approved and accepted! You are so right!
I have an 8 year old granddaughter who I pray will fall in love with the guy
The GUY
Yes, MaryAnn. May all our girls fall in love with The Guy, Jesus, before any other guy!
This book sounds like what I want my 7 years old daughter to learn and what I need to learn as a newly single 39 year old!
@Lyn I’m newly single at 37 after being married for 17 years. I need to learn this myself so I can practice what I preach to my 14 and 12 year old daughters! Blessings to you, it’s not an easy road we are on.
Lyn & Melanie – I am so sorry for this new journey you are on. I know your girls are taking in seeing you finding your strength & hope each and every day from Jesus! What a testimony will you will be to them!
From one Lyn to another – hi!
Amen to your desire to teach God’s truth of value young! I started sharing with my two girls as soon as I could just how much Jesus wanted them and loved them. I have seen Jesus build a confidence in them that no amount of physical beauty could bring. He is the foundation of all confidence and true beauty. They are getting “Gorgeous is more than a face in the mirror.”
Go Mom Go!
I wish I would of known of God’s love all throughout my child hood but especially my teen years. That I didn’t need to dress to attract any guy, my inner beauty was enough for someone greater!
Theresa – Me too! That is why I wrote this message – to empower girls with the truth; their beauty comes from the One who is already crazy about them – Jesus!