There is a longing in the heart of every girl.
A longing to be wanted and pursued.
Each night when I pray for my beautiful girl, I want her to hear me thanking God for who she is and for the gift of being her mom! I want her to know she is wanted and valued. That I miss her when we’re not together. I want her to know she’s not a side-item on my very full plate, but she is my heart’s delight and dessert! And you know what? She’s thinks I’m pretty amazing too?
Well… at least for now.
But I’ve been a mommy before. And I know a day is coming when there will be competition for my girl’s attention.
More than me. More than her daddy. More than her big brothers. One day Aster is going to want a guy to want her, to pursue her, to choose her.
And when it happens, I don’t want to panic and wish I could do something to get her to stop chasing after some guy, hoping he’ll notice her. I want her to know…
She’s already been noticed.
She’s already captured Someone’s heart.
She’s already being pursued.
And even though Aster is only five and a half years old, I’m realizing that now is the time for me to start planting these truths in her heart. But it wasn’t until I read my friend Lynn Cowell’s new book “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants,“ that I realized I needed help to get started.
Lynn’s new book is for girls (and their moms) to walk alongside and help them discover how to become the best version of the beautiful girl God created her to be. There is so much I love about this message. And that is why I wanted to share with you an excerpt from Chapter One today {and I’ve got 3 copies to give away too!}:
“Why doesn’t he like me? I just couldn’t figure it out.
What is it about me that isn’t as attractive as her? Am I not as pretty? Am I too loud? Are my friends not cool enough? The questions gnawed at me, eating away at my confidence. He had liked me once,; surely I could get him to like me again. There had to be a way.
I was determined to find out what was wrong with me.
Back in my own “wish I were dating” days, my highs and lows depended on whether or not I saw him in the hall; my happiness was determined by whether or not he noticed me. The crush I had was crushing me.
I wish there had been someone who could have helped me…someone who could have helped me understand that the longing in my heart pointed not to my need for a guy, but to my deeper need for something, Someone, even greater.
How I wish I had known sooner that I was created to be loved perfectly and unconditionally, made to have my heart filled each and every day with love from the perfect Man – Jesus.
Then I could have spent my time, energy, and emotions, not on a guy I didn’t have, but on the One I did. I could have moved from obsessing over why I wasn’t wanted to becoming the type of girl a godly guy would want. Not just someone to date but someone he’d want to spend the rest of his life with.
I remember making the list, a gargantuan description of everything I was looking for in the guy I would marry one day. The more powerful list would have described the woman I wanted to become, the woman he couldn’t resist!
What would happen if you made the switch now? Shifted your focus off a guy and onto the Guy?
What if, together, we discovered an irresistible beauty deeper than designer clothes, jean sizes, and flaw-free skin? A confidence so attractive, nothing could cause us to lose it? A glamour simply magnetic?
In my quest to discover true beauty, I began to see gorgeous as much more than the face in my mirror. Gorgeous is not skin-deep but heart-deep, a beauty that develops as my heart discovers and returns True Love.
This beauty, this attractiveness, is found in the girl who has what I call “captivating characteristics”—what the Bible calls “the fruit of the Spirit.” These heart traits are described in Galatians 5:22–23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
These magnetic traits are the result, or fruit, of the girl who has given her entire life to Jesus. The girl who spends her emotional energy allowing Him to live His life through her.
But, you don’t have to burn yourself out trying to become perfect. These gorgeous qualities will show up as you spend time with God and He pours His perspective into you!
When you’re “planted” in God, He provides all you need to reach your full potential—to be the best you you can be!
And, instead of chasing after the guy running from you, you’re pursuing the One coming after you. In the process of seeking His heart, you’ll become the amazing individual He designed you to be, a girl who is irresistibly magnetic, beautiful inside and out!
ENTER TO WIN:
Packed with honesty, encouragement and perspective-changing Magnetic, truth by Lynn Cowell,(available at Amazon, B&N, CBD, everywhere books are sold), will empower girls and young woman to reach their fullest potential by focusing on becoming who God made them to be! A girl who reflects God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A girl who will attract the right type of guy one day: one who loves God with all his heart and who will cherish her!
CLICK “Share Your Thoughts” under this post and ENTER to WIN!
Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 speaker and the author of several books including “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants”. Her passion is to empower wise women to raise wiser daughters. Her husband and their three children live in North Carolina where they love to hike, raft and enjoy anything that includes chocolate and peanut butter!
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I have 4 grand-daughters, 5, 7,10 & 11 that I am praying for daily. Mostly about their self-confidence and self-worth. I reaffirm their beauty and success whenever I talk with them. Our women’s study just studied about God’s daily pursuit of us and the romantic relationship we can have with Him which has triggered my prayer to be an openness for them to have with the Lord gaining them the desires of their hearts thru their relationship with their Heavenly Father rather than seeking to be fulfilled by things of the world. This would be a great resource to use with them. Blessings!
I wish someone had told me that God was who I was searching for when I was growing up! & That trying to find the right guy on my own was a waste of time. Best advice (finally), never date a guy you would not marry & most guys are a version of their dad. If you like their dad… You’ll most likely like the son, too. Now, I’ve been married 19 years & am trying my best to raise my own daughter on the right path!
Great advice, Carrie!
I wish as a teenager someone would have told me that “As a child of God we were DESIGNED to find our identity, our significance, and our confidence in Him”. Knowing this, I would not have been looking to guys to make me feel valuable and confident. Thank God it’s never too late to learn. 🙂 I would love to win a copy of the book, Magnetic, to share with my mentee.
I so wish I had known God’s unconditional love for me when I was a young girl! That love would have saved me time spent looking in the wrong direction and made me a stronger woman today. I want so much more for my daughter. I think that is the circle of life – we learn from our mistakes and hopefully teach our children better with God’s and Christian girlfriend’s help!!!
This book is so timely. I have a 15 year old daughter and just within the past few weeks I have discussed with her that God loves her more than anyone else ever could and that I pray for her to feel that love above all else. I also pray that she sees herself the way Christ sees her. It is such a difficult age and I pray I can be a good example and have encouraging words for her.
I wish I would have godly wisdom from my parents but we didn’t talk about the Bible, God or pray.
looking forward to reading with my daughter Bella 11 years old. God Bless her
Thank you so much for investing in her, Olga!
Well this is perfect for this morning. I will give two thoughts. I was up late when we daughter called from college saying she thought her and her boyfriend were breaking up. She had dated a guy from high school and then went to college and after 5 years total together they broke up and although we were happy about it she was devastated and wouldn’t eat or drink and lost a lot of weight. We told her God had someone for her just specially for her and tried to get her to focus on that and also on the fact of what we saw were some major flags in the relationship. She now has dated a guy for several months and we love him and think he would make a wonderful son in law in the future. They did not break up but now there is concern. So..I think this book would be great for her to read. For me, when I was growing up although in a Christian home, my thoughts were very much on guys and having a boyfriend no matter who it was really. I would have loved to have had someone to mentor me and come beside me and really invest in me that God had that perfect person for me and to have fun, enjoy life and let God truly, fully work instead of focusing so much on having that boyfriend.
I am so sorry for your girl’s troubles, Debbie!
Magnetic helps a girl switch her focus; from fixating on finding a guy to focusing on The Guy – Jesus. When I was growing up, we were told to make a list of what we were looking for in a guy. I still think that is important, but I think the more valuable thing would have been for someone to teach me to be the girl with the character not just look for the guy with the character.
I would love to have this book to give to my pre-teen (12yr old) granddaughter! I am honored to be an instrument in encouraging her down the right path regarding relationships and her own self-worth; Two things I did not have growing up and had to learn on my own – by the grace of God!
Doreen – I wish I had a grandma like you! Keep going!!!
My oldest daughter made choices that were worldly. I want her to seek and know she is number one to God and he loves her more than any other guy or stuff can. She has two sisters that we desire they seek the Lord and feel his every lasting love.
Renae – our family has had our share of painful choices too. It has been a hard road to realize their free will is really powerful. I ask Jesus to help me pour His wisdom into their hearts and trust Him to make it real to them.
I would love to read this book with my 11 year old daughter.
Leigh – starting early is so important! I looked at it this way – Disney was preaching their messages to my girls as soon as they were old enough to sit in front of a screen. I had to start doing the same 🙂
I thank God that He didn’t answer many of my thoughtless prayers during my teenage years but instead gave me a loving Christian husband. I would love for my 3 teenage granddaughters to read this book!
His wisdom is the best!!!
I wish I had realized that what my friends thought or what “that guy” thought were not nearly as important as what God thought of my clothes, actions, etc. Inner beauty far outweighs what the world sees as beauty. Once you learn to let God love you as only He can, the rest all falls into place.
Joyce – my daughter is a senior in high school. Of course clothes, guys and all of that are all really important. She is reaching the point, though, where even if she doesn’t “fit in” – which because of her faith she doesn’t – she is still more than ok with herself. That is what I want for EVERY teen girl!
If only I had a book like this when I was a girl. I just went through a divorce after a 20 year marriage. He left me for someone else. That’s when I realized my whole identity was in who my husband said I was. My goal now is to discover who God says I am. I have a 10 year old daughter adopted from China who has now experienced being abandon twice. I’m going to teach her daily that her identity is in Christ. This book sounds like a perfect place to begin.
Susan – I am so sorry! You are so right – the power of knowing that our confidence and identity cannot be wrapped up in someone, someplace or something is invaluable. Jesus – the One who never changes!
I need to read this book. Single after 20 years of trying to get my husband to love and respect me. I’ve had Him all along.
How beautiful, Belinda! I’ve had Him all along!
I wish i knew that i was truely loved, wanted, and worthy. Because i didnt know this there were some unwise choices made. Now, i have an eight year old daughter that im working hard to get to know this. She doesnt have confidence and that is hard.
Dusty,
Just as you are learning you are truly loved, wanted and worthy, your girl can learn too!
One thing I am learning is that this is not a “once and done” with my kids. I have to keep pouring and pouring and pouring. And the great thing is that while I am pouring truth into them…I’m pouring truth into me too!
Every girl old or young needs to see herself as a daughter of The King and not as the world wants her to believe. It is so hard where the darts of the enemy and the media are constantly shooting us down.
Judy, as I share this message with young women, my husband reminds me it’s not just a young girl message…it a young and old, male and female message. We all need to know that we are adored, approved and accepted! You are so right!
I have an 8 year old granddaughter who I pray will fall in love with the guy
The GUY
Yes, MaryAnn. May all our girls fall in love with The Guy, Jesus, before any other guy!
This book sounds like what I want my 7 years old daughter to learn and what I need to learn as a newly single 39 year old!
@Lyn I’m newly single at 37 after being married for 17 years. I need to learn this myself so I can practice what I preach to my 14 and 12 year old daughters! Blessings to you, it’s not an easy road we are on.
Lyn & Melanie – I am so sorry for this new journey you are on. I know your girls are taking in seeing you finding your strength & hope each and every day from Jesus! What a testimony will you will be to them!
From one Lyn to another – hi!
Amen to your desire to teach God’s truth of value young! I started sharing with my two girls as soon as I could just how much Jesus wanted them and loved them. I have seen Jesus build a confidence in them that no amount of physical beauty could bring. He is the foundation of all confidence and true beauty. They are getting “Gorgeous is more than a face in the mirror.”
Go Mom Go!
I wish I would of known of God’s love all throughout my child hood but especially my teen years. That I didn’t need to dress to attract any guy, my inner beauty was enough for someone greater!
Theresa – Me too! That is why I wrote this message – to empower girls with the truth; their beauty comes from the One who is already crazy about them – Jesus!