It had been a really terrible, awful, hard day. So hard that I sat and cried. And yet, it brought me to the end of myself. And that was a good thing.
When I finished crying, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God.
Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
I’d been buried in the dirt that day. I was lost in the monotony of motherhood and felt like my days had no meaning. My discouragement and feelings of failure as a mom left me so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced God felt the same way about me.
I started wishing I had a gold-miner in my life who could see beyond my mistakes and find the gold in me. That’s when God whispered to my heart, “Renee, I am that gold-miner. You are the one who is so critical of yourself. You are the one who focuses on your faults. But I see the gold of My image in your heart, and I want to bring it to the surface so your kids can see Me in you.”
As I sat there trying to process what God was whispering to my heart, stories from the Bible started flooding my thoughts helping me believe that God really does see beyond who I am to who I can become.
That day God used His thoughts to give me a new perspective – of Himself and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to transfer that perspective to my children.
It’s easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and discouragement. You may even be thinking, Where’s the gold in it all? I wondered, too. But after reading Carnegie’s story and hearing God speak to my heart, I wanted to become a gold-mining mom.
As I thought about the gold I wanted to see in my children, character traits of Christ such as patience, kindness and contentment came to mind. I decided to make a list of golden attitudes and actions and look up Bible verses we could learn together. Then I made gold nuggets by balling up foil and spray-painting them gold.
In the following weeks, each time my kids showed a golden attitude or action, I’d reward them. When they saved up enough nuggets, they’d get a special treat. We also found new character traits and Bible verses, wrote down ideas to live them out and started making them part of our family devotions.
It took time for me to embrace a grace-based parenting perspective and let God’s new truths sink in. But I was so excited about having a spiritual focus as a mom. I started getting creative and about finding time in the midst of my busy days to get into His Word and get His word into me. And as I did, He used His thoughts to re-shape mine.
God’s Word became a part of our everyday lives as He taught me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Not only did it change my kids’ attitudes and actions, it changed me, too. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a parent. God had given me a new perspective, and a whole new sense of purpose as a mom!
Lord, thank You for not focusing on the dirt in my life but seeing beyond who I am to who I can become. Help me believe that, receive that and give it away to my kids, my husband and my friends. Help me look at their hearts and encourage the glimpses of You that I see in them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Portions of this post are in my book, A Confident Heart.
Copyright 2011. Baker Publishing. All rights reserved.
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Thanks so much, Renee. I have a three year-old daughter and I really need to start mining the gold in her heart. It’s so much easier to start that when they are younger. It’s not easy to change our hearts and our ways when we get older. God definitely has to get a strong grip on us but we also have to let him. I really want to win but if I don’t I look forward to being able to purchase your character chart.
Good morning Renee. I would so love to win this Purpose-Driven Mom Gift Pack for a few simple reasons. First and foremost, I can totally relate to what you went through. My daughter was a very difficult and challenging toddler and still is very difficult and challenging. Second, I didn’t do so well with my 21-year-old daughter, who went to live with her dad when she was 15, so we don’t have a healthy relationship. Third, I still have my 17-year-old son living with me and I don’t want to make the same mistakes that I did with my daughter. Finally, because I bought the Mom I Want To Be but since I am a single Mom, I don’t have adequate time to read it thoroughly. Being a single mom, CD’s are wonderful to listen to and gives me plenty of time to think while traveling. I believe these pearls of wisdom will enlighten me and possibly help me make amends with my daughter and benefit my relationship with my son as well, along with lots of prayer, of course. Thank you for offering this. Even if I don’t win, I know that someone will be truly blessed by this wonderful gift. God bless you.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! the Lord used this devotion to speak to me. Thank you!!!!
Hello. My name is Lisa Vanderveen. I am grateful for your proverbs 31 topic and this website! This is just the message that I needed today (thanks GOD)! I am the mother of 7 children, in a blended family. We have been a family for 6 years now. There have been good times as well as bad. Our past marriages ended tragically. My four step-children experienced a mother sent away due to drug and alcohol use. Then, she found another man and barely saw her children for years. When she decided to see them again, her heart gave out and she suddenly passed. It’s been 2 years now, but scars run deep. My 3 biological children saw their dad leave with someone else and he got involved in bad things too, lost his job and moved away for 2 years. He is back now…and healthy. We have managed to get through these things but sometimes, I feel discouraged as a mom. I would love to win your gift package and my soul would soak up the encouragement. Thanks for all you do for us moms out there. Motherhood is so important! Lisa Vanderveen
Thank you for your message today. It was wonderful. It confirms what was revealed to me yesterday. I have to turn everything over to God and let him do his will. I can not do it on my own. Sometimes it takes that breaking point for us to realize this. Now, I just have to let God use me and guide me. Sounds easy, right?
As the mother of 9 children, I would love to win your packet. It would help me be a better Mom, wife, and friend. It is a resource that I feel will help focus life back on God and away from what Ido. I can not do this on my own. I am not enough. The wonderful thing is that God is more than enough. HE fills in where we fall short. HE is the way, the truth, and the light. I pray that I will let him lead me. I give it all over to God.
I would love to win this giveaway, due to not having a parent who loved me and show me who I was in Christ. I am just learning at my age that I am somebody in Christ and I would love to be able to be a better parent to my children and grandchildren. By trusting the Lord and learning through other people He is using to bless other people. This mother wants to learn how to be all that God has created her to be.
Oh how I need to be mined! I have a 3 & 5 year old who constantly defy me & my authority. (Or lack of authority, whichever you want to call it) I have tried so many things from behavior charts to time out. They are both very smart but head strong & it’s a constant battle. The thing is…while I’VE tried everything I know that I need to take me out of the picture. Ya know? Instead of “Lord, give me strength…Lord be MY strength”. And the same thing goes for every aspect of our lives, especially parenting. I know all of these things, but haven’t implimented them. That stops now! I’d love to win your Mom Pack. It would be a great tool/ weapon as I take over my role as the Mommy that Jesus intended me to be. Thank you for your fabulous devotions & God Bless!
I love the story you shared. Often times I don’t see the gold for all the dirt in the way. Life today is busy, hectic and sometimes just crazy. I would love to win because I love the idea of mining for gold in my children. I think I need to stop and see the beauty and the wonderful gift God has given me in my children. Thanks for the devotional, it’s much appreciated!
Hi Renee,
This really hit home for me today. My daugher is 29 months and I feel the exact same way that you did. I am a single parent, so I feel like that in itself is a target on my back. I know that I can be a better more patient mom for her, but I get so wrapped up in how others look and are doing things and feel like I am that mom that looks out of control. Thank you for sharing this, it helps me realize that I am not alone in my feelings, and that my daughter is normal.
Have a blessed day,
~Tennille
And that is why I would love to win the gift pack 🙂
This devotion is such an inspiration! It seems my husband, my 2 kids, and I have all been a little short on patience here lately. I would love to win this give away to have some new resources to help me grow in my role as a mom.
It’s all about coming to a ‘place of grace’… Thanks for the reminder!
dp
Thank you Renee for your meaningful words today Feb. 13. You expressed exactly how I have been feeling. Comparing myself to other moms and doubting my abilities as a mom has been tearing me down and reading your words showed me that God has something better planned for me instead of my feeling so downcast. I really need some encouragement. Winning your giveaway would give me some of the resources I have been searching for to better my outlook as well as my communication with my children. I have two boys, Shayne 4 and Samuel 2. I want to be the mom they deserve and can look up to. I want to teach them about God in ways they find fun and encourage them to seek Him for themselves. There seems to be so many things standing in my way of being this kind of mom. I get frustrated easily and just want to sit and cry. My boys deserve a wonderful mom and there are days like you that I just want to turn in my pink slip. But I know God has a plan for me. I believe that is why I received your email today and was led to your page. Thank you for all that you do.
Thank you this is what I need at this time in my life, I often feel like a failure in my being a mom. I have a 3 daughter 19year old and twins who are 13. I have one of my twins who is really going through a rough time in her life and it seems like she has two peersonalitys. I’ve been praying and I think God sent this message for me, so that I can see who I am in him and look at my girls hearts and see beyond their attitudes and see their hurts and see and love them the way God does.
My daughter is the mother of two young children, ages 3 years and a 7 month old. She is a working mother and a wife. Trying to juggle all these hats is, as all of us who have been there know, challenging at best. My daughter is not saved…yet…! Her 3 year old attends a Christian preschool, and is starting to bring what she is learning there into the house. My son in law and daughter are not opposed to this. In fact, my daughter told me she would like to start going to church with me. Halleluia! Jennifer (my daughter) is easily discouraged, and although her sister and I have often discussed God’s love with her, she not accepted it yet. I plan to print your message here and give her a copy. (It always makes more sense coming from someone other than your mother.) Hopefully, it will be the push that is needed. Your book would be helpful too-somthing she could refer to when discouraged. Thank you for your expressions of faith, I read you often in my devotionals from Proverbs 31.
I definitely need help and advice in this arena. I have a 16 month old that loves her word “no” and a baby on the way. I work full time and my husband is working and in school full time. We need lots of prayers.
Thanks so much for your devotion. Although my children are no longer small, I still struggle with raising Godly children. This prize pack would help me on my journey.
Thank you for your Devon’s, both on Proverbs 31 & here. I needed encouragement today. My 6 yr old feels like he cannot get anything right, & I talk about Jesus’ love to him; then I get on to him about things and it feels like I am not representing Christ for my son. I really felt encouraged and ready to try again, this time with God’s help! Tamra
Thanks for reminding us that we are not alone in this big challenge of motherhood. We so often look at others and think they have it all together and we are such a mess. I need God’s continual guidance as I try to raise four children. Sometimes it is so overwhelming I don’t think I can do it anymore.
Thank you for sharing your honest struggles- it helps us all grow when we are vulnerable. Needing God is the best place to be. I would love the voyager go bible and would give the other to my best friend who is a mama too. Thanks! [email protected]
I like this because there are so many times when I have wanted to quit. But how do I make it personal and get my daughters ages 10 and 7 years to develop Christ like character.
That is where I am not doing too well on.