It had been a really terrible, awful, hard day. So hard that I sat and cried. And yet, it brought me to the end of myself. And that was a good thing.
When I finished crying, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God.
Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
I’d been buried in the dirt that day. I was lost in the monotony of motherhood and felt like my days had no meaning. My discouragement and feelings of failure as a mom left me so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced God felt the same way about me.
I started wishing I had a gold-miner in my life who could see beyond my mistakes and find the gold in me. That’s when God whispered to my heart, “Renee, I am that gold-miner. You are the one who is so critical of yourself. You are the one who focuses on your faults. But I see the gold of My image in your heart, and I want to bring it to the surface so your kids can see Me in you.”
As I sat there trying to process what God was whispering to my heart, stories from the Bible started flooding my thoughts helping me believe that God really does see beyond who I am to who I can become.
That day God used His thoughts to give me a new perspective – of Himself and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to transfer that perspective to my children.
It’s easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and discouragement. You may even be thinking, Where’s the gold in it all? I wondered, too. But after reading Carnegie’s story and hearing God speak to my heart, I wanted to become a gold-mining mom.
As I thought about the gold I wanted to see in my children, character traits of Christ such as patience, kindness and contentment came to mind. I decided to make a list of golden attitudes and actions and look up Bible verses we could learn together. Then I made gold nuggets by balling up foil and spray-painting them gold.
In the following weeks, each time my kids showed a golden attitude or action, I’d reward them. When they saved up enough nuggets, they’d get a special treat. We also found new character traits and Bible verses, wrote down ideas to live them out and started making them part of our family devotions.
It took time for me to embrace a grace-based parenting perspective and let God’s new truths sink in. But I was so excited about having a spiritual focus as a mom. I started getting creative and about finding time in the midst of my busy days to get into His Word and get His word into me. And as I did, He used His thoughts to re-shape mine.
God’s Word became a part of our everyday lives as He taught me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Not only did it change my kids’ attitudes and actions, it changed me, too. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a parent. God had given me a new perspective, and a whole new sense of purpose as a mom!
Lord, thank You for not focusing on the dirt in my life but seeing beyond who I am to who I can become. Help me believe that, receive that and give it away to my kids, my husband and my friends. Help me look at their hearts and encourage the glimpses of You that I see in them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Portions of this post are in my book, A Confident Heart.
Copyright 2011. Baker Publishing. All rights reserved.
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I responded to this earlier but didn't say much, I was having an 'I quit' moment when my Mom forwarded this devotion to me. I have 3 kids ages 5, 3 and 1. I'm only 25 and have been married for 6 years. I stay at home because we can't afford for me to work, daycare is too expensive. Money is tight, my husband works all the time and I'm at home 24/7 with 3 kids. To say that I'm stressed is an understatement. I want so bad to be a Godly example to my kids and be a 31 wife for my husband…and I could be if I would just let God be a part of that plan…I need to learn to let go and let God. I'm not the type of person to put myself out there on a random blog but just wanted you to know that I'm the woman your devotion is about today and I appreciate your honesty. If I won I would give my Mom the second one, she deserves it and was the one that sent this devotion to me. I believe the GoBible Voyager would be her 'pick' and that is perfect for me as well. Thanks again for sharing your story and giving me hope on a day that was less than stellar.
Thankyou!…just what I needed to hear today–my last two are in their teen years and I've been running out of steam…
I would like the Voyager in the dramatized NKJV version–
And the second set would go to my dear friend Lori H who is mom of 8!
Grace to you–Loraine
Thankyou – Your reflection really encouraged me. I so often see my faults, fears, failing & weaknesses. It does seem like there is much dirt to be sifted through just to find a speck of gold, which can be discouraging. But I love the point you brought out, that the purpose of the exploration is to find the gold. That is the focus & that is God's focus too. I am encouraged to make that my focus too.
I am very blessed to have to wonderful sweet little boys. However I felt like todays devotion was written especially for me. It was just one of those days today. When I read Amy's comment I really felt selfish for feeling like I just couldn't handle anymore today. I can't imagine her friend who is raising 3 children under the age of 4 by herself. I don't know her name but God does and I pray that he will give her the strength, energy, wisdom, guidance, and protection she needs. Thank you for your encouraging words! I would enjoy the Go Bible Voyager. I would give the 2nd gift to my sister who is raising 3 wonderful daughters.
Thanks, Rene'
[email protected]
Yesterday was my day to say "I quit." Our 20-month old triplet girls were all sick in some way and my 5 year old couldn't figure out why he wasn't entitled to the same attention he normally gets during the day. By the end of the day I was tired, frazzled and in tears. I'm thankful for a good night's rest and a new perspective from God today. It is always helpful to hear that others experience days like this:)
If I would win, I would share the second pack with my sister-in-law who is suddenly open to parenting seminars and to hearing more about God. I would love to have any of the GoBibles in an NIV version.
Thanks for your encouragement!
Barb
Sorry I forgot to add my email address
[email protected]
I'm Julie the mom of the two wonderful but very busy boys with the special needs.
Thanks for the devotion Renee!
You reminded me just in time to remember to look at the heart of my kids just how God looks at mine….
Because frustration was going-up high with the spring leave now…..
If i'm the lucky one to win this amazing gift-pack.The GoBible Voyager would be my choice and the 2nd one would go to my friend who i know since secondary school……
Thxs agin
Bernice
Thank you Renee for your devotion. Your words encouraged me, and spoke right to my heart.
I am a mom of two young school aged boys, that each day face challenges, they both have special needs.
Most days are filled with numerous meltdowns, and emotions that aren't easily regulated. They both suffer from a lot of anxieties to many normal everyday situations. There are days that I am done, I feel like I just can't do this anymore, as it is exhausting. I have felt many times like I'm not a good mom, that I'm not doing a good job. But God's gentle voice reminds me time and time again, that He choose me to be their Mom, and His strength is all I need to get through each day. I remind myself everyday that I can't do this on my own, I need Him 24/7.
I would love any of the GoBibles that you would choose to send me, as any of them would help me
stay in His word while I watch my boys burn off energy at the park, or when I'm in tears on the bathroom floor, a portable Bible to Go with me would be so much support anywhere at anytime.
I would give my gift pack to my best friend as she is struggling with her son's drug addiction and needs His word with her at all times to draw her peace from.
Thanks again Renee for all your encouragement,
and reminding us what a true blessing it is being a mother.
God's love and joy to you! Julie
I would love the voyager GoBible. Perfect size to keeping in your purse and would be nice to listen too while jogging. A perfect time to spend with God.
[email protected]
I would love to have the Voyager or the Original goBible! If I won the paks I would give one away to my friend, Jennifer! She has a little girl and is about to have another! I believe that all the tools that helps us, as mothers, are worth looking into and giving away!!
Heather
[email protected]
Hi Renee, I soooo needed this message today. I've been overwhelmed the past week and honestly haven't taken or had the time to read any of the devotions I get in my email or my daily one in my devotion book. but for some reason I was prompted to open yours this evening, and now I know why. I am beyond ready to quit being a mom. I have thrown my arms up in the air and said I quit, as I just don't want to do this anymore as I don't know what to do to get through to my children. I am no longer the parent in charge, I feel like it doesn't matter what I say or what consequence I hand out, they are going to do whatever they want anyway. It's been a very long and hard day, and I QUIT!! Will be spending some much needed time with the verses you listed and the prayers you gave. thanks
I would love the original or Voyager Go bible. And I would share the second gift pak with my dear friend Kelly.
From one ready to quit mom to another…Thanks Chris
Thanks, Renee, for sharing the insights that God shared with you. I could really use some "grace-based parenting perspectives" in my life these days. It's frustrating to get up every morning and say, "I'm going to be a better Mom today!" and then go to bed every night saying, "Sorry I blew it again, God." It's encouraging to think that God sees the gold in me and hopes to show His gold to my children through me. Wow, what a concept! Kinda changes the whole parenting perspective, for sure! So thanks again for sharing. I really needed that.
As for the GoBible, I'd be thrilled with any of them. What a great little tool! The Voyager looks the most interesting because of the "Bible text on screen" function, but again, any of them would be really helpful (preferably in NIV). I would give the second one to a girl who has been my friend for almost 40 years. We live in different towns now, but we try to get together every 1-2 months to visit and so our kids can play together. I know she'd be thrilled to receive such a great gift! Thanks again.
This came on one of those evenings when I really needed to hear those words, I believe, from God through you. Thank you for carrying the message for me. I am a newly single mom and the guilt of leaving my son when I have to go to work is overwelming for me. Luckily I only go a few days a week (I substitute teach while going back to school for my Masters and know God will give me the work when I need it) I have been taken care of very well and have all my basic needs met so I feel very blessed. I would really enjoy the traveler GoBible b/c I enjoying listening in my car. My son is usually great in the car and it is a nice and relaxing time for me. Thanks and good luck with everything, you are such a gift!
Thanks for the encouragement. I would love the GoBible Original, although any of the 3 would be a real treat. The second pack of goodies would be donated to a friend who runs a shelter for mothers struggling with addiction. I think it would be a great resource for her and the women she ministers to.
I would love the Go Bible Original. I would give the other to my wonderful sister. She is a wonderful woman of God. BTW, loved the devotion today–really needed these words.
Renee, reading your blog couldn't have come at a better time! I've just experienced one of those "I quit" days. I'm a mom of two boys, ages 3 and 1 and I work a very demanding full-time job. I realize that lately, I have not been turning to GOD for direction, but have been answering requests based on who yells the loudest! Thank you for your testimony – it allowed me to reflect and realize that I need to not only to speak to GOD, but to continually build that relationship and strong foundation that comes from KNOWING Him. I would perfer the GoBible Voyager. If I was chosen as the winner, I would share the other one with my brother who has been putting off joining a church and getting to know GOD until the "time is right" – he just turned 30 this year. [email protected]
I would love to win the gift pack of 2 voyager audio bibles. I would give the second one to my friend Brenda who has always been a true Christian sister, an encouragement to me in difficult times and more, a real helper even when it is hard work. I would love to receive the NIV edition. Thank you. Rebecca Armstrong
I have 5 boys at home and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of myself as a failure. Trying to be a Godly wife and mother is over whelming when I try to do it by myself, your devotion couldn't have come at a better time to me, to remind me that I am never doing anything alone!
I would love the GoBible Voyager and have something to take to boxing, soccer, piano, guitar, football, tutoring classes, and well everything else in between. I would definitely share the extra one with my best friend and spiritual sister who is a single mom to 3 amazing kids. She struggles and could benefit from having the Gobible at her fingertips for those moments.
My email [email protected]!
I prayed this morning that God would help me be a more patient mom…and then I read your devotion. It never ceases to amaze me how God truly hears our prayers. I'd love the voyager go Bible. I would love to give the second one to my dear daughter who has accepted a challenge to read the Bible in the next 6 months. Kerry P.
Thanks so much for sharing these words. I am a young mother of three boys. They are 1, 3, and 4. I can really relate to the feeling of being a failure. I find myself wondering why I don't have it together like other moms and why my children seem to be the only children misbehaving. God has really spoke to me through this devotion. It really is about their hearts, not their habits! If I won I would enjoy the GoBible Voyager (which, by the way, I didn't know such wonderful things existed). I would give the second one to an amazing women I have just recently become friends with. My husband and I are getting ready to build a home with Habitat for Humanity and this women has truly been a blessing by helping us with watching our children so we could get our requirements done. Thanks again! Susan B.