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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Finding Meaning in the Monotony

It had been a really terrible, awful, hard day. So hard that I sat and cried. And yet, it brought me to the end of myself. And that was a good thing.

When I finished crying, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God.

Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”

I’d been buried in the dirt that day. I was lost in the monotony of motherhood and felt like my days had no meaning. My discouragement and feelings of failure as a mom left me so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced God felt the same way about me.

I started wishing I had a gold-miner in my life who could see beyond my mistakes and find the gold in me. That’s when God whispered to my heart, “Renee, I am that gold-miner. You are the one who is so critical of yourself. You are the one who focuses on your faults. But I see the gold of My image in your heart, and I want to bring it to the surface so your kids can see Me in you.”

As I sat there trying to process what God was whispering to my heart, stories from the Bible started flooding my thoughts helping me believe that God really does see beyond who I am to who I can become.

That day God used His thoughts to give me a new perspective – of Himself and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to transfer that perspective to my children.

It’s easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and discouragement. You may even be thinking, Where’s the gold in it all? I wondered, too. But after reading Carnegie’s story and hearing God speak to my heart, I wanted to become a gold-mining mom.

As I thought about the gold I wanted to see in my children, character traits of Christ such as patience, kindness and contentment came to mind. I decided to make a list of golden attitudes and actions and look up Bible verses we could learn together. Then I made gold nuggets by balling up foil and spray-painting them gold.

In the following weeks, each time my kids showed a golden attitude or action, I’d reward them. When they saved up enough nuggets, they’d get a special treat. We also found new character traits and Bible verses, wrote down ideas to live them out and started making them part of our family devotions.

It took time for me to embrace a grace-based parenting perspective and let God’s new truths sink in. But I was so excited about having a spiritual focus as a mom. I started getting creative and about finding time in the midst of my busy days to get into His Word and get His word into me. And as I did, He used His thoughts to re-shape mine.

God’s Word became a part of our everyday lives as He taught me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Not only did it change my kids’ attitudes and actions, it changed me, too. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a parent. God had given me a new perspective, and a whole new sense of purpose as a mom!

Lord, thank You for not focusing on the dirt in my life but seeing beyond who I am to who I can become. Help me believe that, receive that and give it away to my kids, my husband and my friends. Help me look at their hearts and encourage the glimpses of You that I see in them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Portions of this post are in my book, A Confident Heart.
Copyright 2011. Baker Publishing. All rights reserved.

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Comments

  2. You have no idea what an encouragment your devotion was for me today. As a single mom to 3 kids…I sometimes just want to give up. Life can be overwhelming trying to fit everything into one day but you have given me a new way to look at things, the heart not just the attitudes. I would be pleased to win any of the GoBible. I would give the second one to my dearest friend who also struggles at times.

  3. I would love the GoBible Voyager and would share the second one with my daughter who is a pastor's wife and mother of three lively children!! Awesome stuff, thanks Renee!!

  4. I cannot begin to describe to you how your words have saved me today. I am at the end of my rope. I have a son with numerous psychological problems, including Aspergers. A daughter who is beginning to show signs of depression because of all my son has put us through. I try so hard to be a good mother and wife, but I fail every time. I am so stressed I can't even concentrate when I pray. I feel so disconnected from everyone, from everything, and even from my relationship with God because I am pulled in so many directions I just can't focus. My head is a blur. If I won your prize pack I would probably not have time to enjoy it so my prayer is that whoever wins it will spiritually benefit from it. I am not the type of person who wins contests, so I am not leaving my name, but I will ask that you and your readers please put me on your prayer list and I am going to fight to get out of this depression and be the mom my children need me to be.

  5. I love this information and ways to bring yourself closer to the Lord as we stumble through this earthly existence. I wish I had this when I was raising my children!! Instead I will make this information available to the young women in our church who share the daily struggles of raising Godly children and maintaining balance. Thank you so much!!

  6. In awe of God's perfect timing. This was just what I needed to hear after last evening I said, "I need a long vacation" to my husband after an evening of temper tantrums. Love the Carnegie quote. I would love the GoBible Voyager. The second I would give to my dear friend who at 9:00 last night, I stopped by to encourage her as she waits to get some lab test results and of course, she ended up encouraging me. Thankful for the friendship we share and that no matter what we are there for each other. Thank you for the great devotion and allowing God to work through you. Mandy
    [email protected]

  7. The devotion from Proverbs 31 came at the right time. Go God!!! I am feeling like a failure as a mom right now. Thanks for the encouragement.
    I would enjoy the GoBible Voyager in the NIV version.
    I would like to have an extra to give to one of my best friends who is unchurched. She too is a mom of two young children.
    Angie G.

  9. Thanks for the encouragement. I would love the go Bible Voyager (NIV translation), and I'd give my friend and former neighbor (the BEST neighbor EVER) even though we live in different states now, Beth! Thank you again for your great ideas and encouraging words! [email protected]

  10. What a blessing to be encouraged as a future mom. I now know I would not be alone on that journey with God by my side, so thank you for sharing your experience with us all. I have an amazing sister who could benefit from the GoBible Voyager. This one seems to have it all and my sister with her busy schedule would easily plan her day. With so many poeple struggling these days, if I were to win, I would not hesitate giving it away to someone at my church, unless you know of someone who is in need of it. I'l have a bible soon, my journey is just beginnning. The GoBible Voyager for my beautiful sister and the second for someone who truly is in need for it.

    Karina

  11. Not knowingly quit being a mommy 7 years ago when as a single overwhelmed mom of 4 married thinking this was the answer me and my children needed. Now I'm more miserable and want to quit being a wife. Too much quiting to live with! I'm encouraged by Proverbs31. I would like the GoBible Voyager, and would give the other one to a young single mom of 4 with alot of the same struggles I saw in my self at that age. <2

  12. Thanks for the great devotional. I would love any of the GoBibles and I would share the other one with my daughter, Brianna.
    Thanks again.
    Debbie
    [email protected]

  13. I forwarded your Proverbs 31 post to the women in my small group, and bunch of younger mommies I know. I know the younger women are dealing with the frustrations and physical exhaustion of little ones, while us "slightly" older moms are dealing with the heartache and stress that comes when our precious babes hit age 12. 🙂 Even if I thought I had some things figured out when they were younger, I realize now that I HAVE to turn them over to God. I just can't do it! The GoBible Original looks great. I can think of several women I would give the 2nd pack to, so I'd have to pray about which one to choose. It would either be one of these moms just starting out, or to one of the discouraged moms of a teen.

  14. It amazes me as to how the devotion for the day totally is where I am right now…today…yesterday…and the day before that. I am a mom to 7 children ages 16 down to 19 months and love being a mom…but struggle everyday to keep it all together due to my struggle with depression. I many days feel like a failure…but continue to put on a happy face so nobody knows what I REALLY feel inside. Thank you for this post…I would love either bible…anything right now would be a blessing for me. I would give the 2nd copy to a friend of mine who has 8 children and homeschools them all and goes without so many times to provide for everyone else.

  15. I needed that today! Thank you for sharing. I think I would enjoy the Voyager because I could download other things such as sermons and praise music. It would be neat to have it all there together. The second one would go to my sister who is a mother of 2 girls who are 22 months apart. They are on the go a lot and I know she could use it.

    Melissa E
    [email protected]

  16. New to your blog and I was greatly inspired by todays devotional. I am a single parent of 3 little boys (ages 10, 5, and 3). I lately have been feeling very overwhelmed by trying to be both Mom and Dad to my kids and being their spiritual example. Your devotional reminded me to give it to God b/c he is the BEST Father to both me and my kids. If I win i would love the GoBible Voyager.
    [email protected]

  17. This is so timely. It's been a little rough lately being Mom. I'd like the GoBible Original and I would share with a sweet friend who has been my mommy sounding board for many years but due to job changes we don't see each other near often enought. Thanks!

  18. Please enter me in the give away! Would love to give one to my daughter who is a 25 year old single mom. I have received such a blessing from the daily devotionals. God's timing always amazes me because it always seems to be just what I need just when I needed it. Thank you and God bless.

    Jamie E.

  20. In January 1993 I was at my breaking point of motherhood while being on maternity leave with my third child. Long story short through the help a women's ministry, "Mom's Together", I saw how blessed I was with these beautiful children and that I needed to change my Super Mom/Martha Stewart lifestyle. I am so thankful for the support I received from other Christian moms during that crazy season of my life. I would be excited to either the original or voyager – I had never heard of GoBible until this morning…what a great Mother's Day gift. I do have a sister-in-law who is in the middle of the Crazy Season of her life..homeschooling four grade school children and just moved to a new community. I know she could use as much encouragement as possible right now during this transition. Thanks for the great devotional today!