“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)
My 8-year-old son walked into my room before school one morning and declared, “Mom, I don’t want to have any anxious thoughts today!”
“I don’t want to worry about you not being home when I get off the school bus. I don’t want to worry about my teacher not liking my science project. And I don’t want to worry about Dad getting in a car accident! I wish I could be like other kids because they never worry.”
Listening to him describe his fears made my stomach ache. Anxious thoughts had been a companion ever since I was a child, so I knew just how he felt.
However, I assumed my fears stemmed from hard things in my childhood during my parents’ divorce. My anxiety had solid reasoning behind it. My dad left before I was ever born. And by the time I was 2 years old, their divorce was final.
For as long as I could remember, I feared my mom would leave me too. Fear of rejection and abandonment followed me into every relationship I had for the rest of my life: with friends, boyfriends and even my husband.
Somewhere along the way, I accepted worry as a disability and settled into believing I didn’t get to decide how it impacted my life.
Now here I stood with my son who’d declared he wanted a day off from worry! And I was determined to help him get it. I wanted to rip those threads of fear out of his thoughts and make sure he knew what to do with them.
I couldn’t take my child’s fears away, but I could equip him with truth to face them courageously and fight them victoriously. I told Andrew, “You get to decide what to do with your worries.” And I shared three powerful truths to help him:
Truth #1: Other kids do worry; they just don’t talk about it on the playground.
Truth #2: Worry and fear must be a normal because God tells us not to, over 100 times in the Bible.
Truth #3: God doesn’t just tell us not to worry or fear, He tells us what to do when we do!
Then I read 2 Corinthians 10:5 to him, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” But a puzzled look on his face told me Andrew needed to know how to do that, so I described it in terms he could understand:
“Andrew, when you have a thought that makes you feel anxious, you can decide to catch it like a baseball and see if it’s worth keeping.” I then cupped my hand like I was holding a ball and told him to look at it and ask, “Is this something Jesus would say to me?”
If the answer is “no” — then throw your thought back into the outfield!
For instance, worry says: “Your mom isn’t going to be home when you get off the bus.”
“Would Jesus say that?” I asked.
“No,” he replied.
“Then it’s outta here!” I told him, as I threw the invisible ball across the room.
Worry says: “Your teacher isn’t going to like your science project!”
“Would Jesus say that?” I prompted.
Again, “No.”
“Throw that one away, too!”
We talked through each worry, processed his fears, and I helped him decide what to do. Then we prayed and asked God to replace each worry with a promise that would give him confident peace. Finally, we thanked God for ways He’d protected Andrew in the past, reminding him how good He is at being God.
After our collective “Amen” I looked up and Andrew had a big grin on his face. Then he said, “Thanks Mom!” as though all his worries were gone.
My sons are 17 and 20 now, and there have been many days I’ve wanted to take away their worries. I’ve been tempted to fix problems and sticky situations. But I’ve learned that doesn’t strengthen their faith or their ability to decide what to do when hard times come.
Instead, what our kids need most is for us to be there: to talk through their struggles, listen to their stories, pray through their worries and be willing to share God’s truths that have helped us decide how to face ours.
There is nothing more powerful than our hearts hearing our lips proclaim our trust in God’s truth. Again and again. So I created a FREE printable to help us do just that! I pray it will lead your anxious thoughts to Jesus as you hold those worries in your hands and ask: Is this what Jesus would say to me? If the the answer is no, YOU GET TO DECDE that it doesn’t get to stay!
CLICK HERE to download my “Fear Not For I am With You” FREE printable.
If you can’t see the image displayed, click here to go to view it on my website.
Confident Heart Devotional GIVEAWAY
Enter to win a gift-pack that includes my A Confident Heart Devotional book and my favorite prayer journal from DaySpring. Perfect for summer and life on the go – my Confident Heart Devotional book is filled with powerful stories, practical life-lessons and biblical insights to help you and your loved ones overcome fear and worry through the power of God’s truth each day!ENTER TO WIN:
How much doesfear or worry impact your daily decisions and joy (or your child’s)? Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post on my blog, and do just that. Your comment will be your entry to win!
***If you are reading this via email, please click here to enter the giveaway on my blog.***
ALL entries must be entered on my blog. Thanks!
I loved your book A Confident Heart and so did our group of women at our bible study. Would love to have the devotional too and share it with others.
Thanks Renee!
I tend to stay in my head and dwell on things. As I dwell more and more worry and fear can grow. If I remember, I get out of my head and do something — and I remind myself that for me, worry and fear translates to not trusting or believing enough in God. Lord help my unbelief.
This message was for me. Thanks so much and I will be sharing it with my grandchildren.
God bless you.
I definitely worry about a lot of things, and sometimes I even miss out on opportunities or can’t enjoy them because of my fear.
I have struggled with this all my life and your advice sounds good to me. I’m also on an anti anxiety medication and it helps a little.
Smart thikinng – a clever way of looking at it.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! I am a “worrier” and I have a son who is also:( I have gotten much better over the years and I have been sharing with my son how to not worry so much. He has gone great, except for one downfall this past school year, the day of his first SOL testing. He was so worried that he was physically sick. But with a little pep talk, some scriptures to figure it all out, he went on his way and did great!! I will definitely be sharing your blog post with him. Thank you so much for sharing that.
I have struggled with this all my life and passed it on to my children and grandchildren
I lost my father in a car accident several years ago and my mother, shortly after, was diagnosed with breast cancer, I am in constant worry for the protection and health of those I love. I pray each day for their protection and safe keeping but worry is a constant reminder of the past.
Worry has been a part of my life since I was a little girl. The Lord is revealing to me what a sin it is. I truly appreciate the devotionals on fear that you have posted.
Worry has plagued me all of my life. Only recently have I learned to think about what I am thinking and take hold of those worries. It is through Christ that I am able to keep my thoughts and worries in check. In the past, I have suffered from anxiety which is brought on by my worry about whether I measure up to others. I have learned that comparison is the stealer of joy. I am learning to trust in God and call out the name of Jesus when I have worries that do not match up to what the Bible tells us. Thank you for sharing this today!
I am now a grandmother and i would like to share this to my grandkids because there will come a time that they will experience this…even i often face this but i thank the Lord He is always there to listen..thank you so much…i love to read more post from you..
I forget that God is sovereign and failed to turn to Him..
I struggle with worry and fear. I am currently going through a difficult situation with my employer as I returning to work after a long absence. He has been very difficult and I have been worrying about why he’s doing it.
I believe God wants me to trust him in this situation and he will work it out. When I worry I am not making the situation better. I am only making myself unhappy and anxious.
Thanks for sharing your insight on how to deal with fear. The way you explained it to your son would be great for my daughter. She sometimes worries about what people think. God bless you.
Renee Swope, I love your book, A confident Woman. This book has helped me and others through life trials. Right now I am struggling with anxiety so once again, into the God’s Word for guidance. Thank you for being so transparent. It is nice to know that we do not battle alone
This is awesome! I’m printing his out! My 10 year old nephew deals with this, and I can’t wait to share this with his mom! 🙂
“What ifs” and anxiety challenge me daily. I recite Phil 4:6-8 and 1 John 4:18 to help calm me. Thanks for this post and the giveaway.
Worry overwhelms me most of the time. I have a constant anxiety that I live with. This post is so helpful. I am going to print it out. Thank you!
Hi , I loved your example of throwing away fear. I’ve grown up with fear of always saying or doing the wrong things.I try to do what I think is right and would please God but, I usually get someone made at me I’ve pushed a lot of people away and I just end up avoiding people I’d rather stay in a comfort zone than keep getting hurt. Fear is paralyzing. But I am grateful I Know God is with me always. Thank you for your encouraging words.
I worry about everything. My dad worries about eveything. My Grandma worried about everything I believe it is built into our DNA. I have tried so hard not to worry but I just cannot stop! I would love to have the release of worry and the freedom to got thru the day without constantly fretting!
Fear insecurity & bad self esteem has held me captive most of my life. It has prevented me from stepping out to just do “fun things” things others take for granted or look forward too. I struggle with social anxiety & so does my youngest daughter. My oldest has insecurity & fear too but in a different way as she is more fearless like her dad. I love your illustrations Renee of how to capture thoughts & speak truth to my girls. It breaks my heart to see her already struggling with the same issues I have. & I will print & read this article to them.
Thank you. I needed this message!
Anxiety and worry is something I have also struggled with since I was little. While know it is a choice still hard at times. Today’s illustration was great!
I have been a mental health therapist for over 20 years, but when my now 10 year old daughter came to me with her anxiety, I tried everything…prayer, grounding, reframing, empowering self-talk, but she continues to have days of anxiety – particularly about diseases. I will show her this post and go through it with her. Thank you so much for a wonderfully creative spiritual way to help her.
I do from time to time become fearful. My favorite verse in John 4:18 states that there is no fear in love; perfect love casts out fear. I always go to His Word which always reminds me that God loves me, He’s for me and He will be my help and comfort in time of need.
I love the simple illustration you gave your son, Renee. I will have to try it. 🙂 Thank you so much for this and for the free printable. God be with you and bless you!
Thank you for sharing this! As a mother of 4 I have learned that there is always something to worry about and fear for your child about. I’m learning to seek God’s voice in the midst of that fear and worry!!!
Isn’t fear always with us, in the back of our minds, for satan’s minions rarely ever leave us alone! But God gives us 365 verses to speak against the spirit of fear, so we have a new weapon every day of the year!!! My biggest fear is financial worries. Although I “know” that God can get me through my difficulties, I keep doing stupid things that make me continue to struggle!
Blessings to all my ‘Sisters” and thank you Renee for sharing your wisdom!!
Oh yes, I struggle with fear and anxiety on a daily basis. Some days are easier than others. I constantly need reminders of the goodness, the strength and the nearness of God.
I have begun writing out verses in 3×5 cards and posting them in my room and all around the house to help me keep my focus on Jesus.
Thank you for this encouragement Renee. I would love to have a copy of your devotional.
Thank you for your ministry.
I have a friend that our Heavenly Father won’t allow me to give up on and this just might be an answer to my prayers. She constantly worries over EVERYTHING and ANYTHING and I am not exaggerating. She was abused as a child and still carries many of those fears into adulthood. I print several of your blogs, as well as some others, for her to read and she seems to find pleasure in them. Thank you for any consideration.
Thank you!!
Fear holds me back and it makes me vulnerable to believing the lies that Satan & the world want me to believe. That I am not good enough, no one can love me, that I am a failure, that even God has no use for me. Really wrestling with my thoughts, trying to pin them to the mat. This blog posting has helped with that process! Thank you!!
I would love to share this with my 8 year old granddaughter. Like me, she is a worrier and what-if person. We have talked many times about this and ways to go past it. This would be a great opportunity for us.
This morning anxiety grabbed hold of my mind and made me feel frantic for someone, anyone, to bolster me up with affirming words. But , humanely speaking, there isn’t a friend in this world that can do that much uplifting.
I know it is past time to honor God by leaning on His promises, remembering what He has done for me, and use the knowledge that He offers forgiveness freely when we ask. And He can enable me to practice kindness today . Help me look up and see others, my Father in Heaven.
I would like to share this giveaway with my granddaughters who are going through a very hard time in their family. Thank you for the poster!
JLK
Thank you so much for this share I need to change and thus is a big help on how to get me started conquer my worries deal with them better blessings to all and good luck to everyone god be with all of us and our jornery
I don’t start a lot of things, because I am afraid of not finishing or doing it right.
I struggle with fear and worry. Thank you for this post!
I taught a girls lesson and ladies also that when we have a burden, to tear it off our notebook page and throw it in the trash if there was nothing we can do about it such as worry. If we can then let’s act and if we can’t then let’s throw it away and always give it to God. I like the reminder to use a ball with kids.
Heck yeah bayb-ee keep them coming!
I would love to read your book. I worry and fear a lot which is silly when God is for me and His plan for me is greater than any fear or worry I may have. I’d love to get out from under my fears and worries.
Fear & worry have been a constant battle for since I was a child. It has crippled me at times hindering me from stepping out in faith. It has robbed me several times of opportunities. I am sooo ready to be rud of fear and worry and to live my life in the confidence God has called me to have!
I would love to read your book:)
Worry has impacted every day of my life for the last 25 years. I memorized countless verses on anxiety, but when I comes I can hardly remember them. I love your baseball analogy – that feels like something that I can do even when I’m scared. Thanks for sharing!
I worry about the future sometimes, my hubby has Parkinson’s and I worry about how I am going to care for him as it gets worse. And I worry about our finances as neither one of us can work anymore. Now I see my daughter has the same tendency to worry. We definitely need this devotional.
Wonderful blog it’s always refreshing to hear how others help their children walk through their anxieties. We refer to the worries as a “bully on the brain” but I love the idea of incorporating the question “would Jesus ask me this”. Talking through these times is a must and in time with lots of practice I know my daughter will be able to ask herself these questions and will be able to answer them before even having to verbalize it. Building her self confidence on a daily basis will help getting be strong in the future.
I have certainly struggled with worry — through lots of things — but I always remember that it doesn’t get me ANYWHERE! My daughter is struggling with worry and being anxious as she heads off to college. I am concerned about her but really appreciate your blog/email. What a great visual to think about a baseball and throwing back whatever God wouldn’t say to us.
THANK YOU!
Renee what a wonderful title!!! Love it beacause thinking about security on my own means God’s paths I need to follow…,saying this growing up…I started going to worship,participating on retreats because I was very doubtful person…… Nowadays I had been convinced once again that I know to whom to rely on is on God’s way to make my own choices walking with Him gives me wisdom discernment and knowledge….”Fear not I am With You” relieves me when I learn His message. Amen God bless!!!
Loved this post. Thank you. I live with worry and fear. I can never seem to get away from it.
Fear has held me captive for so many years and in many ways. I would love to read this book.
I think every member of my family could use this. I’m going to share it with them today. Thank you for helping us break the cycle of worry and anxiety in both adults and children. I don’t want the kids to grow up facing as many years of it as I have. We going to start throwing those thoughts out right now.
I am learning to trust God and not have fear. Fear is the opposite of faith. I can’t wait to share this with my sons. Fear is not a topic we have discussed as a family. I would like to share this with them to help them have the resources to overcome the feeling of fear.
I would love to share this with my 15 year old daughter who has struggled with worry since she was small. She has learned to lean in to truth by remembering Jesus’ words not to worry about tomorrow, but I would love to help her grow in her ability to cast her cares on Him.