“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)
My 8-year-old son walked into my room before school one morning and declared, “Mom, I don’t want to have any anxious thoughts today!”
“I don’t want to worry about you not being home when I get off the school bus. I don’t want to worry about my teacher not liking my science project. And I don’t want to worry about Dad getting in a car accident! I wish I could be like other kids because they never worry.”
Listening to him describe his fears made my stomach ache. Anxious thoughts had been a companion ever since I was a child, so I knew just how he felt.
However, I assumed my fears stemmed from hard things in my childhood during my parents’ divorce. My anxiety had solid reasoning behind it. My dad left before I was ever born. And by the time I was 2 years old, their divorce was final.
For as long as I could remember, I feared my mom would leave me too. Fear of rejection and abandonment followed me into every relationship I had for the rest of my life: with friends, boyfriends and even my husband.
Somewhere along the way, I accepted worry as a disability and settled into believing I didn’t get to decide how it impacted my life.
Now here I stood with my son who’d declared he wanted a day off from worry! And I was determined to help him get it. I wanted to rip those threads of fear out of his thoughts and make sure he knew what to do with them.
I couldn’t take my child’s fears away, but I could equip him with truth to face them courageously and fight them victoriously. I told Andrew, “You get to decide what to do with your worries.” And I shared three powerful truths to help him:
Truth #1: Other kids do worry; they just don’t talk about it on the playground.
Truth #2: Worry and fear must be a normal because God tells us not to, over 100 times in the Bible.
Truth #3: God doesn’t just tell us not to worry or fear, He tells us what to do when we do!
Then I read 2 Corinthians 10:5 to him, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” But a puzzled look on his face told me Andrew needed to know how to do that, so I described it in terms he could understand:
“Andrew, when you have a thought that makes you feel anxious, you can decide to catch it like a baseball and see if it’s worth keeping.” I then cupped my hand like I was holding a ball and told him to look at it and ask, “Is this something Jesus would say to me?”
If the answer is “no” — then throw your thought back into the outfield!
For instance, worry says: “Your mom isn’t going to be home when you get off the bus.”
“Would Jesus say that?” I asked.
“No,” he replied.
“Then it’s outta here!” I told him, as I threw the invisible ball across the room.
Worry says: “Your teacher isn’t going to like your science project!”
“Would Jesus say that?” I prompted.
Again, “No.”
“Throw that one away, too!”
We talked through each worry, processed his fears, and I helped him decide what to do. Then we prayed and asked God to replace each worry with a promise that would give him confident peace. Finally, we thanked God for ways He’d protected Andrew in the past, reminding him how good He is at being God.
After our collective “Amen” I looked up and Andrew had a big grin on his face. Then he said, “Thanks Mom!” as though all his worries were gone.
My sons are 17 and 20 now, and there have been many days I’ve wanted to take away their worries. I’ve been tempted to fix problems and sticky situations. But I’ve learned that doesn’t strengthen their faith or their ability to decide what to do when hard times come.
Instead, what our kids need most is for us to be there: to talk through their struggles, listen to their stories, pray through their worries and be willing to share God’s truths that have helped us decide how to face ours.
There is nothing more powerful than our hearts hearing our lips proclaim our trust in God’s truth. Again and again. So I created a FREE printable to help us do just that! I pray it will lead your anxious thoughts to Jesus as you hold those worries in your hands and ask: Is this what Jesus would say to me? If the the answer is no, YOU GET TO DECDE that it doesn’t get to stay!
CLICK HERE to download my “Fear Not For I am With You” FREE printable.
If you can’t see the image displayed, click here to go to view it on my website.
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How much doesfear or worry impact your daily decisions and joy (or your child’s)? Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post on my blog, and do just that. Your comment will be your entry to win!
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Fear holds me back and it makes me vulnerable to believing the lies that Satan & the world want me to believe. That I am not good enough, no one can love me, that I am a failure, that even God has no use for me. Really wrestling with my thoughts, trying to pin them to the mat. This blog posting has helped with that process! Thank you!!
I would love to share this with my 8 year old granddaughter. Like me, she is a worrier and what-if person. We have talked many times about this and ways to go past it. This would be a great opportunity for us.
This morning anxiety grabbed hold of my mind and made me feel frantic for someone, anyone, to bolster me up with affirming words. But , humanely speaking, there isn’t a friend in this world that can do that much uplifting.
I know it is past time to honor God by leaning on His promises, remembering what He has done for me, and use the knowledge that He offers forgiveness freely when we ask. And He can enable me to practice kindness today . Help me look up and see others, my Father in Heaven.
I would like to share this giveaway with my granddaughters who are going through a very hard time in their family. Thank you for the poster!
JLK
Thank you so much for this share I need to change and thus is a big help on how to get me started conquer my worries deal with them better blessings to all and good luck to everyone god be with all of us and our jornery
I don’t start a lot of things, because I am afraid of not finishing or doing it right.
I struggle with fear and worry. Thank you for this post!
I taught a girls lesson and ladies also that when we have a burden, to tear it off our notebook page and throw it in the trash if there was nothing we can do about it such as worry. If we can then let’s act and if we can’t then let’s throw it away and always give it to God. I like the reminder to use a ball with kids.
Heck yeah bayb-ee keep them coming!
I would love to read your book. I worry and fear a lot which is silly when God is for me and His plan for me is greater than any fear or worry I may have. I’d love to get out from under my fears and worries.
Fear & worry have been a constant battle for since I was a child. It has crippled me at times hindering me from stepping out in faith. It has robbed me several times of opportunities. I am sooo ready to be rud of fear and worry and to live my life in the confidence God has called me to have!
I would love to read your book:)
Worry has impacted every day of my life for the last 25 years. I memorized countless verses on anxiety, but when I comes I can hardly remember them. I love your baseball analogy – that feels like something that I can do even when I’m scared. Thanks for sharing!
I worry about the future sometimes, my hubby has Parkinson’s and I worry about how I am going to care for him as it gets worse. And I worry about our finances as neither one of us can work anymore. Now I see my daughter has the same tendency to worry. We definitely need this devotional.
Wonderful blog it’s always refreshing to hear how others help their children walk through their anxieties. We refer to the worries as a “bully on the brain” but I love the idea of incorporating the question “would Jesus ask me this”. Talking through these times is a must and in time with lots of practice I know my daughter will be able to ask herself these questions and will be able to answer them before even having to verbalize it. Building her self confidence on a daily basis will help getting be strong in the future.
I have certainly struggled with worry — through lots of things — but I always remember that it doesn’t get me ANYWHERE! My daughter is struggling with worry and being anxious as she heads off to college. I am concerned about her but really appreciate your blog/email. What a great visual to think about a baseball and throwing back whatever God wouldn’t say to us.
THANK YOU!
Renee what a wonderful title!!! Love it beacause thinking about security on my own means God’s paths I need to follow…,saying this growing up…I started going to worship,participating on retreats because I was very doubtful person…… Nowadays I had been convinced once again that I know to whom to rely on is on God’s way to make my own choices walking with Him gives me wisdom discernment and knowledge….”Fear not I am With You” relieves me when I learn His message. Amen God bless!!!
Loved this post. Thank you. I live with worry and fear. I can never seem to get away from it.
Fear has held me captive for so many years and in many ways. I would love to read this book.
I think every member of my family could use this. I’m going to share it with them today. Thank you for helping us break the cycle of worry and anxiety in both adults and children. I don’t want the kids to grow up facing as many years of it as I have. We going to start throwing those thoughts out right now.
I am learning to trust God and not have fear. Fear is the opposite of faith. I can’t wait to share this with my sons. Fear is not a topic we have discussed as a family. I would like to share this with them to help them have the resources to overcome the feeling of fear.
I would love to share this with my 15 year old daughter who has struggled with worry since she was small. She has learned to lean in to truth by remembering Jesus’ words not to worry about tomorrow, but I would love to help her grow in her ability to cast her cares on Him.