Hi friends, sorry today’s post is late. Life is a little more than I’ve been able to physically manage today. I have a sick little one at home. And it’s more than just a fussy day, since she’s not able to communicate what she needs or wants and she’s very frustrated. One of the valleys we’ve been walking through is with our precious 3-year old, Aster, who we adopted from Ethiopia exactly two years ago. She was recently diagnosed with a speech disorder. She cannot say more than 5 words and she’s been digressing even more this week.
She’s also shown signs of a possible attachment or anxiety disorder and it’s just breaking my heart. I’m grieving the loss of what I’ve longed for now for over a year (to hear her precious voice); wading through the sadness of feeling like my little girl is locked inside and can’t come out. We’re going to be okay – today just brought more than I anticipated. But, God knew. Today’s devotion was perfectly timed for me, reminding my heart once again that He is for me, and He’s for my girl. As I take steps down this broken road I wasn’t prepared to walk, tears flow, and then God whispers, “I’m in control, you can trust Me in this, too.”
Day 2: Beat Up or Built Up?
Taken in part from Chapter 6
© 2011 by Renee Swope with Revell Publishing. All rights reserved.
Food for thought: What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? (Rom. 8:31 NIV)
One morning I woke up feeling beat up by discouragement. My mind was being bullied by thoughts of doubt. I can’t do it all! I am not cut out to be a wife, mom, and leader of an organization that ministers to women all around the world!
My thoughts were against me, and my feelings were too.
As I lay in bed feeling completely inadequate, my radio alarm came on. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by Twila Paris singing to me. With confident assurance, she spoke truth to my soul, telling me this was no time for fear, but a time for faith and determination. She challenged me not to lose my vision or be carried away by my emotions, but to hold on to all that I had hidden in my heart, and all I believed to be true. Then she reminded me of the most important truth of all: God is in control.*
When I heard those words, my thoughts were aligned with God’s truth. It changed my whole perspective. I went from feeling afraid to feeling determined. From feeling out of control to knowing God is in control. I was glad I had set my radio to a Christian station the night before so I’d be awakened by encouraging music and truth that morning.
We have the choice either to let doubt beat us up or to let God’s truth build us up. If we have Christ in us, we have full access to God’s power and His promises to live with a confident heart. But it won’t just happen because it’s possible. We have to take action. Just as I had to tune my radio to encouraging music, we need to get intentional about tuning our thoughts to God’s thoughts toward us, every day.
In the same way a radio has AM and FM frequencies, so do our thoughts. They are either AM (against me) thoughts or FM (for me) thoughts. The truth is, we are often our worst critics and have a lot of AM thoughts. And if our thoughts are against us, our feelings will be too.
When thoughts and feelings of doubt come, stop and ask God for His perspective. Compare your thoughts to His thoughts, reflected in Scripture. Do they match? If not, look for a promise in God’s Word to replace the lie that has filled your heart with doubt.
Here are some AM and FM thoughts to help you get started:
- When doubt comes against me, saying I’m weak and all alone, I will focus on the truth that God is for me! I can be strong and courageous because the Lord my God is with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me (Deut. 31:6).
- When doubt comes against me, saying I’m not good enough for a certain role or position, I will remember that God is for me! He says I am His masterpiece, created to be new in Christ so that I could do good things He planned long ago (Eph. 2:10).
Lord, thank You that in Christ I am a chosen woman, a royal priest, a holy daughter, a woman belonging to God. When doubt tries to bully me, remind me that I have been called out of the darkness to declare Your glorious light. I pray that You would teach me how to rely on the power of Your promises and remember that You, my God, go with me to fight for me against my enemies of insecurity and inadequacy. You give me victory. In all these things, I am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. (See 1 Peter 2:9; Deuteronomy 20:4; Romans 8:37)
*“God Is In Control,” © 1993 by Twila Paris. All Rights Reserved. From He Is Exalted: Live Worship CD.
Doubt Diet Tip: When you go on a regular diet, it’s helpful to start a food journal to keep track of what you’re eating. That way you can notice unhealthy habits and find healthy alternatives.Today, I want us to each start a “thought” journal to keep track of what we’re thinking so we can identify unhealthy “against me” thoughts and replace them with healthy God is “for me” thoughts. Here is a free download of AM/FM Thoughts from A Confident Heart, chapter 6.
Let’s Talk: Oh friends, I’ve loved reading your comments, praying for you and watching you encourage one another!!! Over 150 comments on day 1. Oh how I wish I had time to comment on each of them. Just know I am reading them all and praying for each of you. This is what I hoped we’d do: journey TOGETHER! And God is using it already to encourage those who are talking to each other, encouraging, praying for one another and sharing what God is showing them. Don’t miss out – be sure to click here to go back to my website (if you’re reading this via email) and then click on “Share Your Thoughts” below this Day 2 post.
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Wow! Thank you for your day 2 word! I was feeling completely inadequate and the devil was beating me down with negative thoughts and the bad thing is that I was believing him. Thank you thank you thank you for this lesson. It hit home for me today.
what a perfect devotion for me today! Just feeling a little overwhelmed and can not even put my finger on the reason why!
I am praying for you and for Aster!
I love the Twilla song you quoted today. I have often sung that to myself over and over again!
Thank you again for your words and your obedience to what God has called!
Kim
Renee remember that even though Aster cannot speak well right now, or perhaps understand your words, by your actions towards her she knows how much you love her. Love conquers all, and this too shall be conquered! Our God is bigger than any disorder that comes our way.
I am so encouraged by everyone on here, and I am praying for each request. I too am learning to conquer my doubts with the threat of my husband losing his job, slow work, and wondering if that paycheck is coming this week. I am working to focus on the positive, and when the negative jumps in, I remember who my Father is, and the ultimately He is in charge here, not me!
My favorite scripture:
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4
It still amazes me how God knows what we need to hear at the exact time we need it, He proves Himself in control each and every day, reassuring me that He is always right here with me, these Doubt Diet devotions and another awesome tool that God uses to encourage each of us. My Pastor tells us, we are all princesses because we are the Kings Kids…I thank God for choosing me to be one of His own.
Oh, beautiful Aster… and her mama. Praying with you both.
Singing it with you, sister:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FiEB6mNpNU
How I love you. Cry and kneel and pray with you — praise Him with you.
All’s grace,
Ann
I wake up feeling inadequate almost daily. I started a new job two months ago, and each day I feel completely useless there. I constantly doubt my ability to succeed, and even more, I continuously doubt God’s love for me. How could God love someone who has made so many terrible deliberate mistakes? I’ve broken His heard over and over and over again. So many days I just don’t feel worthy of anyone’s love. I don’t have close friends and I’m not sure I have any self-respect left. Reading these devotions is always encouraging, but far more times I let doubt beat me up than let God’s word build me up. Even after reading these words, it’s hard to believe those promises could apply to me. I definitely appreciate them though!
Betsy-
There is no limit to God’s forgiveness…. he calls on us to forgive 7×70, (pretty much no limit). We get knocked down, daily… sometimes it feels constantly… but know that if you put your faith into Jesus Christ, you are a child of God, and His forgiveness is limitless. We try to box God in and think of him from the limits of our own faulty, sinful human capacity… and we need to realize that God is so much larger than anything we could imagine… Unconditional love, and limitless forgiveness is pretty unfathomable for us… we just don’t have the capacity to understand it…. so rest assured, no matter how many times you’ve fallen away from God- He hasn’t moved, He is steadfast in His love for you, and his forgiveness is unending.
Take care Friend…
-Courtney
Betsy, you are loved so much by God and I love you as a sister in Christ. Don’t give up hope, keep affirming to yourself that God does love you – it’s true!
Thanks everyone for opening up and sharing. It helps me so much to know I’m not struggling alone with doubt. Reading others posts is so encouraging to me. Praying for Aster and for you, Renee.
Hello Renee and friends,
I have the same negative thoughts. I see writings you have done and it makes me want to go back and read the chapter you have talked about. I am getting better at hearing God talking to me. Sometimes it seems like it’s loud and clear. Other times, I struggle to hear. I know he has a plan for me. I wish he would give me a hint to what it was. I am one of many who is struggling to find a job. I wish he would let me know what direction to go in. I have done a lot of interviews, but I never hear anything after that. I’m feeling frustrated as to why nothing seems to be working. I will be praying for you and your family Renee. Keep us posted on how your beautiful little girl is doing.
Maureen
Hi Maureen,
It is during times like this when you have an opportunity to truly draw close to God and trust in Him fully. We have no idea what tomorrow can bring, but we do know that tomorrow God will be just as faithful as He is today and that He will love you just as much as He loves you today. God will provide you with what you need. Draw near to Him and you can find strength.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
I am praying for you, friend.
I’ve been so encouraged by you, Renee, and all the ladies who are sharing their stories. I’ve been struggling with doubt and worry for two months now. It’s good to be reminded of how to combat lies with truth. I still have a ways to go, but it is getting better. I know God is faithful and true — even when I doubt. Praise the Lord!
I have struggled with this since I can remember. My thoughts have never seemed to be “right”. This is tough especially if, like me, you’ve been saying it to yourself your whole life. And it seemed like no matter what others said that contradicted what I thought, I still thought the AM thoughts. In the book Thinking. Loving. Doing., John Piper and David Mathis In the book, they state, “Don’t believe everything you think. Sin is our mental illness.” We are pre-conditioned to see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe. It is through learning the truth through the Bible and believing the words God has given us that we can become free from our thoughts. We need to take captive our thoughts so that they don’t control us but rather, we can control them. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
I am praying for Renee. I don’t have children but do know that God will be glorified through you and your children. He will not give you more than you can handle. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
In Christ
Another great scripture! Wow …. what a visual!
Every since High School, I have always wanted to do it all. During that time my wise mother placed limits on my activities. Then I graduated from college and became a wife, mother, and employee. But that wasn’t enough. I had to lead both the youth and women’s ministries at church and go to grad school at night in my spare time. But fate placed limits on me once again.
After a serious car accident and a traumatic brain injury, I often wonder…’what is God’s plan for me now?’ The kids are grown and I’m struggling with the call to tackle other projects…write a book, become a sign language interpreter, etc. I can’t even find the energy to keep up my own home. How can I tackle a task this large? Whenever I pray for guidance I’m given a positive sign, but is this really a message from God or just my own ambitions talking? Or am I using that as an excuse because I’m too afraid to go forward in the direction He wants me to?
Hi Twila-
I can totally relate… I’m in the earlier stages of what you describe, but my heart understands. I have come up to obstacles that seem impossible to climb…. I put my head down and realize if God gets me to it, He’ll get me through it. If its something that HE wants me to do, then I can’t rely on my own energy… we’ve been given much and think that we can do it on our power… God’s power comes into play when we feel that we don’t have the resources to complete the task at hand. His power is made perfect in our weakness. We have to be brave and take the leap of faith and make room for God to work in our lives. I often have to remind myself to get out of the way. Hang in there….
It’s nice to know I am not the only one who feels less than and self critical. These comments help so much.
God bless everyone and it is so refreshing to see such encouragement from others towards one another.
I, too, woke up this morning feeling inadequate. I just wanted to put the covers over my head and stay in bed all day. I had a Christian music station on my radio. I don’t know if that is what finally got me out of bed, because I don’t remember any of the songs I listened to, but I believe it was. Thank you for sharing about your young daughter. I have no children, but can feel your pain and anguish as you deal with the roughness of your day. Praise God that he never gives us more than we can handle! hugs and prayers to you and your family . . .
Oh, thank you, Renee, for your sincerity and openness to share what God is doing in your own heart, life and family. God is so good. I thank Him for your Doubt Diet and showing me the roots in my own life that need to be given to Him. We adopted from China last year and I understand your heart, we are dealing with alot of similar issues. Praying for you and your family. God bless you in your faithfulness.
Mary, It is so good to hear your precious little daughter doesn’t have a brain tumor: I can’t imagine what you must have been going through nor what Renee is going through so I will keep you and your families in my prayers. Today’s verse has hit home for me too. For the past two days I have been feeling so down because of my AM thoughts, then it was like I received a warm embrace from God and it was like I knew someone was praying for me. Just now reading Renee has prayed for each of us yesterday is like another big hug from God. Today I am so thankful for your prayers Renee.
Will be praying for you and your entire family. I was surprised by saying that doubt and worry or fear go together, but in a way it is true and it struck me in the heart. That has been what I have been dealing with for so long. I am finally gaining the confidence to see that the doubt I had was worry and fear. I will begin keeping a journal on my thoughts. The ideas from the doubt diet have really encouraged me. Thanks so much. Jeanie Kelley
I related to your post yesterday when you mentioned calling doubt “worry” or “fear”. I’ve labeled it something else, because overall I feel fairly confident. But I struggle so much with what others think of me and with disappointing someone, waking up and worrying, saying yes to too much because I don’t know how to say no that I decided this would be a good step for me.
Renee,
I will be praying for you, your daughter & your family. Just yesterday we received results from the last of 4 tests my daughter has had over the last 3 weeks. The fear was that she had a brain tumor. Praise God all tests have come back clear. She has been diagnosed with atypical migraines which we can deal with. During the last several weeks fear & doubt have overwhelmed me at times. Many, many times I had to turn it over to God. I clung to the promises in Roman’s 4:20-21 “Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.” I know He has you and your family in His hands.
In His Calm,
Mary
Awesome scripture!
My life scripture!!!
Some days I feel so down on myself. I woke up at 3:00 am just to lie there wondering if a decision I had made was the right decision. Some days, God’s will for me seems so clear. Other days – not so much. I feel that I am missing His direction for me. Afraid of doing something wrong. Fear of taking the wrong steps. Worry over this or that. It is a hard and hurtful way to live. I have to constantly say to myself that God is with me. He is watching over me. There is nothing that I could do that God cannot fix. He is all-powerful. He can do anything and everything. I am blessed. I thank God for being there to remind me how much He loves me.
Kyndle,
I can relate — you sound like you might be a perfectionist (like me) with unreal expectations on yourself to do everything perfectly right. This is something I’m struggling with now and have to keep reminding myself that God does not expect me to be perfect — that he loves me in my imperfect ways and that the only one who was ever perfect was Jesus. It’s hard, because I’m a people pleaser and don’t want to let anyone (let alone God) down, but as you said, it’s a hard and hurtful way to live. I’ll be praying for you!
I just wanted to thank you Amy. I am a perfectionist – but mostly with myself. Not that I wish this thought pattern on anyone, but nice to know that I am not the only one. Thanks for praying for me. I will pray for you also!
Ladies this is just awesome that you all have the same sort of fears and doubts that I have (NOT THAT IT’S GOOD TO FEEL THIS WAY) it’s just amazing how the Lord knows EXACTLY what I need each and every day!!! Thank you all so much for being so open and honest and for sharing your thoughts and feelings I will keep you all in my prayers it’s as Renee told us she wishes she could read every comment and then pray for each individual but has not got that much time again I just thank each one of you and may the Lord our God be w/and Bless each of you.
Thank you Christy. As women, I feel we face so many things that men may never face. Also, as women, we seem to find comfort in knowing there are others that understand what we are feeling. I can only say that I appreciate knowing that someone is out there praying for me. All prayers are welcome! Thank you! I will be praying for you also. God Bless!!
There have been so many days that I have gotten up feeling like I can’t do all that has to be done in the day and still be good or do a good job at each of those tasks. But as I am slowly learning to lose control and let God take over then I am seeing that God is leading me and showing me what really has to be done and what can wait or is not as important as I thought. But I have to stop and let Jesus remind me that he is for me and I can do all things through him who gives me strength.