Hi friends, sorry today’s post is late. Life is a little more than I’ve been able to physically manage today. I have a sick little one at home. And it’s more than just a fussy day, since she’s not able to communicate what she needs or wants and she’s very frustrated. One of the valleys we’ve been walking through is with our precious 3-year old, Aster, who we adopted from Ethiopia exactly two years ago. She was recently diagnosed with a speech disorder. She cannot say more than 5 words and she’s been digressing even more this week.
She’s also shown signs of a possible attachment or anxiety disorder and it’s just breaking my heart. I’m grieving the loss of what I’ve longed for now for over a year (to hear her precious voice); wading through the sadness of feeling like my little girl is locked inside and can’t come out. We’re going to be okay – today just brought more than I anticipated. But, God knew. Today’s devotion was perfectly timed for me, reminding my heart once again that He is for me, and He’s for my girl. As I take steps down this broken road I wasn’t prepared to walk, tears flow, and then God whispers, “I’m in control, you can trust Me in this, too.”
Day 2: Beat Up or Built Up?
Taken in part from Chapter 6
© 2011 by Renee Swope with Revell Publishing. All rights reserved.
Food for thought: What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? (Rom. 8:31 NIV)
One morning I woke up feeling beat up by discouragement. My mind was being bullied by thoughts of doubt. I can’t do it all! I am not cut out to be a wife, mom, and leader of an organization that ministers to women all around the world!
My thoughts were against me, and my feelings were too.
As I lay in bed feeling completely inadequate, my radio alarm came on. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by Twila Paris singing to me. With confident assurance, she spoke truth to my soul, telling me this was no time for fear, but a time for faith and determination. She challenged me not to lose my vision or be carried away by my emotions, but to hold on to all that I had hidden in my heart, and all I believed to be true. Then she reminded me of the most important truth of all: God is in control.*
When I heard those words, my thoughts were aligned with God’s truth. It changed my whole perspective. I went from feeling afraid to feeling determined. From feeling out of control to knowing God is in control. I was glad I had set my radio to a Christian station the night before so I’d be awakened by encouraging music and truth that morning.
We have the choice either to let doubt beat us up or to let God’s truth build us up. If we have Christ in us, we have full access to God’s power and His promises to live with a confident heart. But it won’t just happen because it’s possible. We have to take action. Just as I had to tune my radio to encouraging music, we need to get intentional about tuning our thoughts to God’s thoughts toward us, every day.
In the same way a radio has AM and FM frequencies, so do our thoughts. They are either AM (against me) thoughts or FM (for me) thoughts. The truth is, we are often our worst critics and have a lot of AM thoughts. And if our thoughts are against us, our feelings will be too.
When thoughts and feelings of doubt come, stop and ask God for His perspective. Compare your thoughts to His thoughts, reflected in Scripture. Do they match? If not, look for a promise in God’s Word to replace the lie that has filled your heart with doubt.
Here are some AM and FM thoughts to help you get started:
- When doubt comes against me, saying I’m weak and all alone, I will focus on the truth that God is for me! I can be strong and courageous because the Lord my God is with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me (Deut. 31:6).
- When doubt comes against me, saying I’m not good enough for a certain role or position, I will remember that God is for me! He says I am His masterpiece, created to be new in Christ so that I could do good things He planned long ago (Eph. 2:10).
Lord, thank You that in Christ I am a chosen woman, a royal priest, a holy daughter, a woman belonging to God. When doubt tries to bully me, remind me that I have been called out of the darkness to declare Your glorious light. I pray that You would teach me how to rely on the power of Your promises and remember that You, my God, go with me to fight for me against my enemies of insecurity and inadequacy. You give me victory. In all these things, I am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. (See 1 Peter 2:9; Deuteronomy 20:4; Romans 8:37)
*“God Is In Control,” © 1993 by Twila Paris. All Rights Reserved. From He Is Exalted: Live Worship CD.
Doubt Diet Tip: When you go on a regular diet, it’s helpful to start a food journal to keep track of what you’re eating. That way you can notice unhealthy habits and find healthy alternatives.Today, I want us to each start a “thought” journal to keep track of what we’re thinking so we can identify unhealthy “against me” thoughts and replace them with healthy God is “for me” thoughts. Here is a free download of AM/FM Thoughts from A Confident Heart, chapter 6.
Let’s Talk: Oh friends, I’ve loved reading your comments, praying for you and watching you encourage one another!!! Over 150 comments on day 1. Oh how I wish I had time to comment on each of them. Just know I am reading them all and praying for each of you. This is what I hoped we’d do: journey TOGETHER! And God is using it already to encourage those who are talking to each other, encouraging, praying for one another and sharing what God is showing them. Don’t miss out – be sure to click here to go back to my website (if you’re reading this via email) and then click on “Share Your Thoughts” below this Day 2 post.
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Renee thank you, I’m gonna do just that start a journal to keep track of my thoughts. Then maybe I’ll get some sleep at night. I don’t know the last time I actually slept peacefully. My thoughts are constantly centered on everything that’s happened to me, everything I’ve gone through these past five years, everything I need to catch up on, and everything I have to do right now. I’m doing a lot of soul searching, attending Sunday school, bible studies, talking to God, praying, devotions, etc etc etc. And a lot of its’ unfocused but it’s working somewhat. Renee, what stood out mostly is (and I don’t wanna go back to what you wrote because I spend a lot of time doing that, double checking) but what stood out was-intentionally tuning my thoughts on what God thoughts are for me. I have so much to be grateful for yet shamefully my thoughts are more driven towards all that I don’t have, all that I’ve lost, and my husband whom I blame for most it. I tried to support him in the beginning of his struggles. I even blamed myself for things falling apart in the first place. At last my thoughts swing back to blaming him for what I believe is intentional damage to my emotional and mental state to prevent me from leaving him totally alone. I feel certain, through all my studies and daily devotion that the Lord wants to teach me something and has not permitted me to go forward until such time when I can leave it up to Him for deliverance out of these tough times. My AM thoughts have had such a major impact on my life and my children as well. It’s time that I start healing from the pain and disappointment I’ve had to go through. Thank God for women like you Renee who give of your time to help someone like me.
Blessings to all!
Diane
I’ve had to forgive a person that abused me as a child, the bully threw rocks at me, shoved me in the dirt, knocked me off the slide, swing, or what ever. Threw water soaked snowballs at my face, and all thru Jr, High and High School, he’d trip me, shove me into the lockers. I always knew who did it, but could never prove it to the teachers, and the abuse finally ended when he graduated from high school. Now as a 60 yrs. old grandmother, a boy bullied my grandaughter and I told them my story, never had I told anyone before, and it made me cry. I guess I had all these years shoved that in the back back parts of my mind. And now I found he lives about 80 miles from me. Ironic that I remember after all these years and have forgiven him, because I know that the Lord loves me, and that he cannot hurt me again. Fear of another person is so very real and hard to over come. I still shake when I think about that or if something reminds me fo the abuse. Praise the Lord that I have been saved and have a Father in heaven who loves me. My own family is great and I love them all dearly and I have a wonderful relationship with my parents. Thank you for writing this.
Renee, I will be praying for Aster, I know God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. If He did it for the people while on earth, He will do it for us because Jesus told us to ask the Father for anything in His Name.
I have also been praying for a little girl in my children’s church that has no medical reason, but cannot speak at all. Mark 7:32 Some people brought to him a man who was deaf and who also had a speech defect. They begged Jesus to lay his hand on him. 33Jesus took him away from the crowd to be alone with him. He put his fingers into the man’s ears, and after spitting, he touched the man’s tongue. 34Then he looked up to heaven, sighed, and said to the man, “Ephphatha!” which means, “Be opened!” 35At once the man could hear and talk normally. 36Jesus ordered the people not to tell anyone. But the more he ordered them, the more they spread the news. 37Jesus completely amazed the people. They said, “He has done everything well. He makes the deaf hear and the mute talk.”
Father we are claiming deliverance for Aster and Haylee. We know that if you healed one you will do it for the other. I ask in Jesus Name that Aster and Haylee be healed and able to communicate just like everyone else. We speak to their vocal cords to come alive, vibrate normally in Name of Jesus. We thank you today for a miracle and we are Trusting You. We thank you in advance for the answer and know that you will answer right on time. We Praise you for all that you have already done and what you are going to do. In Jesus Name Amen
I am so encouraged by these threads of all the different women & our struggle with the AM & FM thoughts I had a revelation last yr. about the verse in 2 Cor. 10 verse 6 in the message translation We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity. WOWSA what a revelation ~ If our thoughts will NOT fit into the frame of the cross (the structure of life shaped by Christs sacrifice) into The Plan of freedom Christ died to Give us WE SMASH IT , with the WORD OF GOD we take scripture & the enemy of of Hearts will HAVE TO FLEE!
This is such a wonderful way to share from day to Day ~ I dont yet have the book but will definately log in here to continue this devotion! Thanks for providing them online!
I love your AM/FM descriptors. They are an accurate and easy way to remember that God is always for me. I’m enjoying this and I’m praying for you and Aster. Please be in prayer for my son who has been sick with a cold and now an ear infection all caused by allergies. He can’t miss work as he is in training. Please pray for healing. Thank you sweet sisters.
Over the last four years of my life I have been fighting to save my marriage. Unfortunately, I lost this fight last year. My life has never been the same. I never thought my life’s dream of being a wife and mother would turn out this way. I am still blessed to have my three children, they are my joy. Todays devotion reminded me that I need to continue proceesing my pain and refill myself with the Word. That I am not alone and to have confidence knowing that God will bring healing and nring me hope!
Thank you for the reminders Renee. Often I wonder if I should believe in myself — I think that the doubts have a foundation. But I need to be reminded that that is not where God wants me to be. And to believe in His power and love to overcome. It’s depressing because the battle is so constant with how I view myself and the fears over making any decision, afraid it will be the wrong one and afraid of the consequences I will have to suffer. I’m just starting to come out of the darkest period of my life — struggles with anxiety, fear, depression. God showed me my foundation wasn’t right, now I am trying to build a new foundation upon His Word, but it’s so hard.
Would you be able to, once these two weeks are completed, to maybe do a shorter version of this two or three times a week? Just a few sentences to encourage us, along with a verse?
I have been amazed that so many women are struggling with issues like me. It has encouraged me to know I’m not alone, but sad too that so many Christian women are being so attacked. Why are we missing the joy and peace that God and Jesus promised? I don’t know, but I am praying for you in leading us and for each of us women who need God’s freedom. Thank you!
Wow, day two of the doubt diet was just what i needed today. I feel like I’m failing miserably at being a mom and wife. I recently took on a second job and i don’t know if I’ve done the right thing. We are struggling financially which is why i took on another job but just don’t know. My husband and I are not really communicating anymore. Its a nice reminder that God is in control. I don’t understand all thats happening in my life but I pray that thru this devotional God will reveal His plans for me and that I would overcome these doubts and insecurties.
I LOST MY MOTHER IN 2005 AND I HAVE FELT A EMPTY FEELING EVERY SINCE.I HAVE TRIED TO “FAKE” HAPPINESS BUT IT FADES AWAY. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 11 YEARS AND I HAVE A GREAT HUSBAND AND A BEAUTIFUL 5 YR OLD DAUGHTER AND I LOVE THEM DEARLY AND I KNOW THAT MY MOTHER WOULD NEVER WANT ME TO FEEL THIS WAY BECAUSE SHE WAS A HAPPY LOVABLE PERSON WHO ENJOYED LIFE AND THE PEOPLE IN IT BUT IT WAS JUST SO HARD,I WAS READING A DEVOTIONAL ON 07/05/11 ABOUT LETTING GO OF THE PAST AND I FELT THAT THIS WAS MEANT FOR ME AND I DID FEEL LIKE THAT DARK WORLD I WAS LIVING IN WAS GON E AND I BEGIN TO FEEL HAPPY AGAIN BUT I STILL FIND MYSELF FIGHTING MY ANGER FROM TIME TO TIME.BUT I THANK THE LORD THAT I FINALLY ALLOWED HIM TO BRING ME THRU MY LONG DARK JOURNEY BEFORE I ITWAS TOO LATE.
Renee’,
It’s amazing how the enemy attacks us where it matters the most. Your dear darling Aster is one of God’s masterpieces, he doesn’t make mistakes, or defects. I am reminded that there is a season for everything and in this season of fear, hurt, and doubt, God is using you to bless others. I’ve learned, God expects us to mean it when we say “I know how you feel!” This scary time as a mom will be used by God for you to bless others and oh my what a powerful testimony there will be when Aster’s beautiful voice, as God designed it, comes forth. I can’t wait to hear how God is going to show himself mightily in this situation. Praying God’s peace, assurance, and blessings for you.
I need heaping doses of FM thoughts. I’m discovering how hard it is and how long it takes to really change my way of thinking about myself and about God. I know He loves me and that He is for me, but I’m afraid my thoughts tell me that I’m not good enough or that because I have doubt I don’t have enough faith. Please pray for me on these points. I keep telling myself I’m going to make it and that it’s a process and journey, but I confess it doesn’t happen fast enough for me.
Renee, I am praying for you and your sweet little girl, Aster…I felt led to send you the essay below by Emily Perl Kingsley…I serve in a ministry for children with special needs, and I was adopted by loving Christian parents…praying this is a blessing to you…
WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Perl Kingsley
“I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability—to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this… When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip—to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around … and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills … and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy … and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.” And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away … because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss. But … if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.”
[Note: Author Emily Perl Kingsley wrote “Welcome to Holland” in 1987. She has been a writer for Sesame Street since its earliest years. When her son, Jason, was born with Down syndrome in 1974, Emily and her husband Charles became activists, educating the public and developing resources to help Jason and other kids with special needs fulfill their potential. When asked why she thinks “Welcome to Holland” has had such resonance for so many people, she replied: “It’s about a lost dream, any lost dream. Any change from the original plan. It says that it’s okay to continue to feel the pain of the loss; that it’s legitimate pain. It says that you’re entitled to be disappointed, which then allows you to go on and enjoy what you did get.”]
I can say that I was shrouded in a mist of depression and AM thoughts today….but what helped me out, was 1) your Doubt Diet devotion for today, and the 2) being able to respond to some posts here…. Words came, not from me….and I was able to exhale the AM thoughts to really see how God can move through me….I needed that reassurance….. I will breath in the FM truths and exhale the AM lies….. thank you!
Thank you so much for all your thoughts and insights. I have always doubted myself and have felt I’ve no purpose. However as I get closer to the Lord and meditate on His promises the doubts, fears and insecurities are less. God is so good and gives me what i need each day as I commit the day to Him. As the Word says He will not give us more than we can bear. What a wonderful God we have. I thank Him for all the wonderful women He’s put in my life to help me to see the bigger picture.
Blessings,
Diana
Praising God with you Diana!
Hello Renee,
I pray God’s blessing on you and your family and a complete healing of your daughter. You hold fast! I will encourage you with a word from our teaching on Sunday, God is always up to something good! I thank God for thie 7-Day No Doubt Diet. It is a blessing to hear from others and to know that you are not the only one with struggles with fear, doubt and no confidents. I pray that we all trust God our Father to strengthen us and launch us to that place with Him to be all that He created us to be.
God Bless!
Praying you feel God’s strength… for this new day! I will be praying for you because I know that you know God will make a way where there seems to be no way… oh yes he will! I will forward a copy of my testimony to you… I believe it will encourage you and stir your precious faith in our loving Father! Thanks so much for all of the time and energy you put into lifting each one of your “sisters in Christ”…. Have a peaceful, blessed Wednesday!
Reading your post today brought me back 17 years to when our sweet boy was diagnosed with autism. How I can relate to longing to hear that precious little voice! For us, sign language and pictures helped tremendously until he found his voice. We also dealt with severe anxiety and many, many other challenges along the journey, but praise God! – he is now an honors student in college pursuing a career in writing. I know too well the aches of a mama’s heart, but am so deeply grateful now for the opportunity to have traveled this road with my son, and wouldn’t change a thing.
Praying for hope and strength for you!
Thanks for sharing your heart with us.