Important Update: If you signed up to receive the updated blog post “Looking Back So We Can Move Forward,” I don’t know why the new version wasnt’ delivered in my email update last night. To read it, please click here. If you’re signed up to go with me through the 7-day Doubt Diet, here’s our next devotion.
Day 3: Trigger Points
Taken in part from Chapter 5
© 2011 by Renee Swope with Revell Publishing. All rights reserved.
Food for thought: The LORD turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have .… Am I not sending you?” (Judges 6:14 NIV)
Wouldn’t it be great if becoming a Christian meant that all of our doubts and fears went away? Have you ever wondered why you still struggle with insecurities and self-doubts while knowing you are a child of God?
Maybe you’ve sensed God leading you to participate in a ministry, but doubt has convinced you that you’re not smart enough or gifted enough. Perhaps you wanted to have kids, and now you have a family but you doubt you really have what it takes to be a good mom. Or maybe you’ve wanted to change jobs and now have the opportunity to do just that. But you don’t want to go because you’re afraid of failing at something new.
In chapter 1 of A Confident Heart, I describe the day I discovered the shadow of my doubt. After begging God to zap me with confidence and realizing it wasn’t going to happen, I asked Him to give me His perspective and show me what had made me start feeling so insecure and uncertain.
I thought about Gideon, another man who was called by God but paralyzed by fear and feelings of inadequacy. From reading his story in Judges 6, I knew Gideon had overcome his doubts and fears by focusing on what God thought about him, instead of what he thought about himself.
But, he also processed his doubts with God in a very honest way. He told the angel of the Lord that he questioned God’s presence and doubted His promises because of recent conflicts and defeats with his enemies, the Midianites. When the angel of the Lord called him a warrior and told him to go out and defeat the Midianites, Gideon’s insecurities started shouting excuses, listing all his inadequacies.
One thing that triggered Gideon’s doubt was his perception of himself. He turned to the angel, and asked, “But how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family” (Judg. 6:15). Gideon believed his family was the weakest and he was the runt of them all. Damaged emotions and insecurities from our past have a powerful influence over how we see ourselves today.
As I stood there in my bathroom, I knew I needed to get honest with God too. I needed more than just a quick fix. I wanted to figure out what triggered my self-doubts. I thought back on the events of my week and remembered a conflict with a friend that made me doubt I should even be in women’s ministry. After all, my doubt whispered, if you can’t maintain healthy relationships at all times in all areas, how can you help others?
I also received an email at work with feedback from recent events. There were several positive comments and one criticism. Forgetting the compliments, I couldn’t stop thinking about that one criticism. I’d also been comparing my abilities to other speakers who had been booked for an upcoming event with me. Self-doubt convinced me I wasn’t as gifted as they were.
Conflict, criticism, and comparison are three triggers that lead me into that yucky place of uncertainty. What about you? When conflict arises at work or at home, do you ever assume it disqualifies you from other ministries or callings? Does criticism ever paralyze you from believing you can do certain things? Or, has comparison ever convinced you that someone else can do it (whatever “it” is) better than you can?
Before that day in my bathroom, I thought insecurity was simply a negative emotion, a lapse of faith, a dip in self-confidence. I wanted God to take it away or heal me, but instead He taught me how to let my doubt lead me to a place of deeper dependence on Him.
When I find myself standing in the shadow of doubt, I ask Jesus to show me what triggered my emotions. Then I process that trigger point through the filter of God’s perspective and promises. I ask Him to show me what lie I believe that needs to be replaced with His truth. I then ask Him to change the way I’m thinking, which changes the way I’m feeling, and eventually transforms the way I’m living.
Over time, I’ve learned to rely on God’s power to defeat my insecurities, which has empowered me to fulfill His calling on my life. And so can you! God calls us to live beyond the shadows our doubts, but it is not always about what He wants us to do as much as it is about what He wants to do in us as we learn to completely depend on Him.
Lord, I want to rely on—and live in—the power of Your promises. Please show me when something triggers my self-doubt, and then help me focus on Your thoughts about me instead of my thoughts about myself. I’m so thankful that Your grace is sufficient for me and Your power is perfected in my weakness. Although my flesh and my heart may fail, You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever! In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. (See 2 Corinthians 12:9; Psalm 73:26)
Doubt Diet Tip: In the same way emotional triggers make us want to eat a half-gallon of ice cream or a whole bag of chips, we have emotional triggers that cause us to doubt ourselves. Ask God to show you your most common triggers and help you process them through the filter of His truth.
Let’s Talk: I encourage you to read my P31 devotion and blog post follow up on Weds. It’s a part of my book that isn’t included in the Doubt Diet but it’s essential to our wholeness and confidence in Christ. Also, let’s keep praying and encouraging one another!!! Our faith in God nad His promises grows as we speak truth into each others’ doubts. Be part of the conversation and our Confident Heart community bu returning to my website (if you’re reading this via email), and click on “Share Your Thoughts” below the Day 3 post.
Day 4 will be sent on Monday. Why not take the next few days to review Day 1-3 and catch up on anything you missed this week from our 7-day Doubt Diet.
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Oh my gosh…God is so amazing and He is always just right on. I love the story of Gideon. His story reflects my perspective of myself. Although Gideon was called by God he was paralyzed by feelings of inadequancy. Most than anything Gideon believed that his clan was the weakest of the Manasseh and that he was the least in his family. My, how I have struggled for years with the feelings of being the least in my family; believing that I was damaged goods. Conflict, criticism, and comparison paralyzes me quicker than anything I know, it’s as though it wounds my inner being (my heart). Like Gideon, I just want to hid. Walking through this journey I realize that I can’t do this on my own that I must rely completely on God. Renee, I praise God everyday for your story and your willingness to share. More than that I am thankful for your obedience, that you listened to God’s leading and wrote, “A Confident Heart.” May God continue to bless you as you have blessed others.
My goodness, Renee, you have opened a “Pandora’s Box” of thoughts and emotions. God is working to set the captives free, for His glory, even when freedom is temporarily painful to achieve. Thank you for allowing Him to use you in this way.
This was on point for me, I often wonder why I suffer so much with doubt. I can now ask God to help me identify my trigger points and allow me to deal with any past issues that maybe keeping me from believing in myself. Learning to rely on God and less on myself is a constant battle for me. I am praying for all women who continue to have doubts about themselves, Remember WE can do ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS US.
Renee, I just wanted to thank you for your devotions. Especially this one. I so struggle with insecurity and comparison a lot of the time. I know it isn’t how God wants me to be and I am learning to rely on Him more and more but it is still a struggle at times. Everyone thinks I am confident but on the inside I feel a mess sometimes. I just wanted to encourage you to Keep up the great work God is using you for. Thanks again.
Renee,
I just finished reading todays post and the words Conflict, Criticism and Comparison are also negative triggers in my life. Thank you, for providing ways for me to work through the negativities in my life and ways to stop beating up on ourselves and to make the negatives into positives. This has definitely Blessed me. I am learning from you every day. Thank you again:)
Throughout my live, I’ve compared myself to others. Now my biggest problem is comparing myself to myself. My life revolves around the pre-accident vs. post-accident me. I feel so inadequate minimally performing tasks that I was once proficient at. I’m trying to accept my limitations and develop substitutes or accommodations. When faced with the inability to worship in song (damaged vocal cords), I became determined to teach myself ASL. As long as I feel no one understands my signing, I’m fine. But the doubts and inadequacies return when I know someone knowledgeable is present. I won’t even discuss the change in my instrumental, public speaking, or relationship capabilities. I never really considered my constant comparison with others, and now myself, as leading to my insecurity and self doubt. Food for thought.
Throughout my live, I’ve compared myself to others. Now my biggest problem is comparing myself to myself. My life revolves around the pre-accident vs. post-accident me. I feel so inadequate minimally performing tasks that I was once proficient at. I’m trying to accept my limitations and develop substitutes or accommodations. When faced with the inability to worship in song (damaged vocal cords), I became determined to teach myself ASL. As long as I feel no one understands my signing, I’m fine. But the doubts and inadequacies return when I know someone knowledgeable is present. I won’t even discuss the change in my instrumental, public speaking, or relationship capabilities. I never really considered my constant comparison with others, and now myself, as leading to my insecurity and self doubt. Food for thought.
Well evidently god is dealing with me on this issue. I started a women’s bible study tonight near where I work and the topic is almost the same. The study is One in a million by Priscilla Shirer. Then I come home and open my e-mail to the same topic. Definitely a message from God. shannon
Thank you Renee! Yet another message of hope and deliverance from insecurity and self doubt that was right on time. I am going to ask God to change the way I am thinking as well. He has put an opportunity in front of me and I feel inadequate, but your message gives me hope and reminds me that HE is good enough and through him so am I. Thank you. I hope your daughter is feeling better.
Wow… this is where I am at…
Trigger point right now for me is fickleness and hypocrisy which in turn makes me feel like something is wrong with me and the walls of Trust are up and not wanting to let others in …..
Difficult situations right now and trying to walk with Him thru the hurt and pain of these things is not easy….
So thankful for what God is leading you to do in this…..praying He blesses you/your family in an amazing way…. esp as you walk thru this things with precious Aster….
Thank you for this study Renee. I have been doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which has been helpful, however your study has just made me realize an important missing element in my therapy! My Cognitive Behavioral Therapy includes writing down my automatic negative thoughts, and then identifying the distortions present in those thoughts, and then coming up with a “rational response.” The missing piece has been asking God to help me with this process, and to focus on God’s thoughts about me so that my rational response is a rational, God-driven response!
Might I add that the prayers you’ve written for each day are wonderful. Thank you again!
🙂 You make me smile. I love that God is completing the work He’s doing in your life by showing you how to fill in the missing pieces with Him and His thoughts towards you!! Love that!!
Why is it that we zoom in on that one negative comment among the many positive comments? I can hear negative comments ringing in my ears days after the comments were made, but can’t remember a single positive comment. And sometimes, it’s not so much as what was said but the tone of voice and the look on the person’s face. I remind myself that I am created in the image of God, that He loves me unconditionally and it doesn’t matter what others think as long as my heart and myu relationship with God is right.
Hurts leave scars. Sometimes we can look back and not remember where the scars came from. Most of my scars come from my ex-husband. I forgave him for the things he said and did, but I don’t think I ever really forgave myself for not being perfect. I thought if I could be prettier, skinnier, happier – all the -ers – then he would stay. Then I started feeling better about all that as time went on. But after the second marriage, and issues with my current husband, all those feelings of inadequency came back. Again, it was all my fault. Of course, everytime I take it all on me I also start resenting myself. And because I resent myself, I start resenting my husband. A vicious circle. I thank God that Renee has decided to do this doubt diet again. It has blessed me so much by bringing out all these feelings and dealing with them.