After reading your comments and emails last week week, I’m so encouraged by how God interrupted what I was doing and prompted me to check on you. That prompting led me to invite you on an unplanned journey through my 7-day Doubt Diet. Over 4000 of you signed up, and hundreds of you shared how much you needed this, at such a time as this.
Friend, God hears your prayers. He knows your needs and He is pursuing you with His love. I’m so honored that I get to be a part of what He is doing in your life. I want us to give ourselves time to let God speak to us as we apply these devotions in our lives. So, I’ve decided to stretch the 7 days over 2 weeks, with a post every other day on weekdays only, after today. Day 2 will be posted on Tuesday, Day 3 on Thursday and then day 4 next Monday, and so on.
Each day we’ll have a key verse called “Food for Thought” and a “Doubt Diet Tip” to help us apply that day’s message. I’m praying for you, friend, and I want us all to pray for each other. Let’s pray that no matter how hard life is or how much doubt tries to weigh us down – we will ask God to help us know and rely on His love and live in the security of His promises – so we can lose the weight of self-doubt and gain a confident heart!
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Day 1: Don’t Throw Away Your Confidence
Taken in part from Chapter 1 and 6
© 2011 by Renee Swope with Revell Publishing.
Food for thought: So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36, (NIV)
One night I was cleaning the kitchen and threw away this little rubber thingy that was on our counter top. Suddenly I realized it was the power button for our TV remote control. As I dug through the trash to find it, I regretted how quickly I’d thrown it away. Then, as I reached to pull it out, I sensed God showing me that’s how easily I throw away my confidence—without even recognizing it.
It’s usually very subtle. Sometimes I’ll be thinking about something I want to do or sense God calling me to, and a feeling of uncertainty comes over me and whispers to my heart: You can’t do that. You’re not good enough. Out of the blue, I’ll just get that awful, insecure feeling.
Too many times I’ve gone along with it, tossing my confidence into the trash without even thinking about it.
For the longest time, I didn’t tell anyone about my lack of confidence because I figured if I told them all the reasons I doubted myself, they’d see my flaws and agree with me. Honestly, I was convinced I was the only one who struggled with doubt.
However, I didn’t call it doubt. Maybe you don’t either. Sometimes I called it worry—worry that I was going to disappoint someone, worry that I might make a mistake and get criticized for it, worry that I might start something but not be able to finish.
Other times I’d call it fear—fear that I wouldn’t measure up, fear that I’d look stupid, fear that I’d look prideful thinking I could do something special for God. What I’ve realized over the past several years is that these feelings may end up as fear or worry, but their source is self-doubt.
Looking back, I see a pattern in my thinking that led to the pattern of my doubting.
As a child I thought I wasn’t worth keeping. My insecurity kept me from riding amusement park rides, because I doubted my dad would wait for me. In school, I doubted I was smart enough and avoided some great opportunities because they came with the risk of failure. As a young bride, I doubted my husband’s faithfulness, although he gave me no reason to fear. Our newlywed memories include a lot of arguments about trust.
What about you? Do you ever agree with the whispers of doubt and throw away confidence that should be yours as a child of God? Are you tired of questioning whether you have what it takes to become the woman you want to be, or the woman God is calling you to be?
The first step to living with a confident heart is for us to recognize the power we give to self-doubt, then stand up to it and claim the confidence that is ours through Christ. That is what we’ll be doing for the next seven days as we learn to live in the security of God’s promises in our everyday lives.
To get started, let’s ask God to show us when we throw away our confidence this week, and help us throw off the weight of our insecurities instead.
Lord, I want to become a woman with a confident heart in Christ. Show me how to recognize when I’m tempted to throw away my confidence. And please help me throw away my insecurity instead. I want the reward of persevering in Your truth so that when I have done Your will, I will receive what You have promised. I don’t want to be a woman who shrinks back and is destroyed but one who believes and is saved. When doubt or insecurity tells me I can’t do something, I will remember that all things are possible to her who believes. In Jesus’ name, Amen. (See Hebrews 10:35–36, 39; Mark 9:23)
Doubt Diet Tip: When you start a diet or physical training plan, experts recommend you take a Body Mass Index analysis to determine if you are overweight, underweight, or in a healthy weight range. As we get started, our first assignment is to complete the FREE “Doubt Index Analysis” I created to help identify your most common doubts, see how they affect you and determine just how much self-doubt could be weighing you down by.
Let’s Talk: I want this to be a journey we take TOGETHER, where we talk to each other, encourage and pray for one another and talk about what God is showing us. To do that, please click here to go back to my website (if you’re reading this via email) and then click on “Share Your Thoughts” below this Day 1 post.
That’s where we’ll share our hearts, our stories, our struggles (so others can know they’re not alone and so we can pray for each other) and read others stories too. I believe that is where real community and encouragement will come – and Jesus will meet us there and minister to us through one another!
This is a Diet I can win. Thank you for helping me with my doubts. Retirement is not for the weak. I am struggling financially and need to know that He will make a way for the bill to be paid and food bought. Praise His Name and I know this will help with my doubts.
Thank you Renee for this 7 day Doubt Diet. I am very new to this online corresponding so please all help me out 🙂 My doubts are WILL God do it. I struggle with the WILL factor. I know God can do anything and I don’t doubt his power etc but I struggle with WILL he do this for me. Perhaps I am trying to work out how he WILL instead of just trusting him that he WILL. . Your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.
Doreen, thank you for expressing your feelings about the “will” factor. I always struggle with that. I know God can answer my prayers, but will he respond. Maybe he doesn’t think what I am praying for is needed, or that I am worth the resources. I am comforted to know someone else can know how I feel.
I feel the same. I know God can, but will He? Why would he do that for me? This is so often reinforced by what is happening around me. Just when I think I’m getting my footing, I crumble again.
I have soooo much doubt…I receive so many things to give in turn to our small youth group…I copy it,place it in a folder, but never get it to them…I am a mumbler. Many can’t understand me. My family does because they have lived with me. I will have to really start working on this. I also am a recovering alcoholic and need to help the soo many women out there going through this. My introversion keeps me from this also.
Thank you Renee for this study. I need it so much. I took the doubt analysis and like I already knew I am have many doubts and fears. I want so much to stop living in those doubts and fears and become the woman God wants me to be. I let the devil come in so often and tell me I am not good enough or that I am not doing it right or I can’t do that.
Thank you so much for letting God help you to become confident so that you may help other find their confidence through God.
I’ve just sat down and done the first day of this doubt diet knowing that I am strugging to find the confidence to succeed in my final weeks at university. I failed my first piece of assessment in over 18 months today, and I’m terrified of continuing to be dragged down by the devil. I’ve come so far in these last 4 years and I really want to do post grad. So I’ve just coming expectant over these next few days that I’m going to get my confidence in my studies back and that the fire which is god’s plan will be re-ignited.
Dear Renee,
I’m so glad you’re doing the 7 DD again. I signed up for the 1st one but did not follow through. I only went as far as completing the Doubt Index Analysis and left it at that.
Today I found the filled out questionnaire and… I’m afraid 4 weeks on I’m in a lower place. With my poor job situation at the moment, unfulfilled love life, health issues and just generally low mood (the summer’s so very over!), I would have answered some questions differently.
Looking forward to the DD programme and happy to be in such great company, Ladies 🙂 Praying for all of us that we can build our confidence on God and His good promises.
x
This a perfect time for me as well as alot of the other ladies. It feels comforting to know that I am not alone in this. I have had people speak over me and telling me that I will be moving into a higher position, something like a supervisory positon/administrative or even as far as something close to CEO. That really scares me because I would not think even in my wildest dreams that I could ever do anything like that. I do not have the confidence whatsoever and I don’t feel smart at all. What could I possibly do in that sort of a position? I want to trust God that he will show me where to go and how to do it but that almost seems impossible. I am currently separated from my second husband due to all the emotional and verbal abuse that has tore me down every which way he knew how. I already felt bad enough about myself, he just finished stepping on me and ripping me apart. (Not physically). Although, he did strike me a few times. I want to rise up from this uncertainty of myself (lack of confidence) and be the confident and smart woman God has created me to be. I am so glad I have other women that I can share my tholughts with and know that you all will be praying for me.
As women we tend to be insecure and lack confidence in every area of our lives with out realizing that God has already given us the victory through Christ our Lord! I thank God for this wonderful opportunity to be encouraged by his words. Thank You Renee for sharing your story and dedicating your time to this important issue!
Thank-you for the devotions base on your book, “A Confident Heart”. I celebrated my 50th birthday a few weeks ago. I have been reviewing the past ……..the failures, mistakes and missed opportunities. With the devotions and bible verses from Proverbs 31, I try really hard to focus on the present. Instead, I must focus on the treasures and sucesses that I have accomplished, 4 daughters, a great job, a loving and kind boyfriend, good health and a chance to make a difference. I read passages in the Bible about how loved and special we are and how he has a plan for us to prosper and to be happy. Sometimes I get so impatient and feel that I cannot wait, but I must. Many times in a day, I must remember to be confident that God will listen to my prayers and be there in all things. Thank you God for everything.
Thank you for this insight. I, like all of the women reading this, struggle with self-doubt. I am in my twenties and just went through a painful break-up. I am at a very unsettled place in my life, where I don’t know what job I will take after this year, where I will live, when I will meet the man God has for me. My worst doubts are that I will always be alone, won’t find the right job, won’t live in the right place; essentially, that I won’t become the woman God wants me to be.
From your insight, I am starting to realize that these doubts come from satan himself. What I’m really thinking when I allow those doubts to consume me is that God doesn’t not have a plan for me. At the lowest points, I find myself doubting, losing faith, lacking trust that God holds us all in His hands. I long so much to lose this doubt, and I pray that this is the first step towards losing this weight of self-doubt.
Thank-you for offering this again. I saw it over the summer, and I just didn’t make the time to devote to this. But I’m ready to work through this now and be confident in the Lord! I struggle with fear and doubt and don’t want Satan sneaking in and working in my areas of weakness! I want to be the woman God has called me to be!!
Hi again. I shared above, but had to pop back with a little encouragement. I’ve just been listening again to an audio version of C.S. Lewis’ wonderful story, “A Silver Chair,” and was reminded of a blog post I wrote some months ago about how that story reawakened me to my real identity. Rereading the post now, I am struck again by this wonderful promise: the One who holds us is passionate about setting prisoners free! He will give us the freedom for which we’re praying. Here’s the link to that post if anyone wants to read more: http://hearingtheheartbeat.com/2011/04/13/when-you-forget-who-you-are/
Renee,
Thank you again for taking the time to do this 7 DD again! It does my heart so much good to read other womens posts and to see that I don’t suffer alone. Some days are better than others with the confidence. I just wish I could get to the day when I can feel secure about who I am in Christ without having to constantly remind myself. I wish I could just accept God’s love and grace and live in HIS peace.
I don think I’ve ever been hit so hard with doubt and feelings of ineffectiveness as I have in the past week. I serve as Christian Ed Director and desire to see people grow in their relationship with Christ not just “be saved”. The past weeks I feel like the people I serve are just going through the motions and I wonder if what I’m doing makes a difference. Today not a single teen was sure they were going to heaven, including mine, this broke my heart, we- Pastor and myself-have worked so hard to teach them about eternal security and they all thought they “probably” will go to heaven. I cried before service and once again doubted if what I do makes a difference or matters.
I recently began seminary, my 3rd degree, but it is so hard for a full time working mom and I wonder if I heard God right. doubt, fear, feelings of inadequacy or rampant right now and all I can think is God must be about to do something mega in my life and the enemy doesn’t want it to happen. Please pray for me, I know that’s the only thing that will work.
Danielle:
Don’t give up on those kids! At least they feel secure enough to express their doubts. Remember too, how teens will often answer “with the crowd.” (They work really hard at not being different!)
I too work with kids at my church from 1st to 6th grade. I often wonder whether any of what I am doing is working. So I know just how you feel.
I think it is so brave of you to be going to seminary on top of everything else. Bravo! God has great plans for you! I’ll be praying for you. Blessings on your ministry to help people grow in their relationship to Christ!
Thank you for doing the 7 day doubt diet again. Self doubt is my biggest enemy. It’s so bad now that I don’t believe that I can do anything right…. Down to the way I make lunch for the kids, the way I do laundry, the way I show love to my husband and Kids. I feel like I fail at every turn. I know I need more of Gods word about who I am but I’ve started to doubt that God could even love me. Please pray for me as I go through the doubt diet that I would be freed from all of these lies.
In Jeremiah 1:5 God tells you that “Before I formed you, Elaine, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you, Elaine, apart;…”
God loves you, Elaine, He loves you soooo much! He emptied heaven for you. Jesus shed His precious blood for you, Elaine.
“He anointed you, set His seal of ownership on you, and put His Spirit in your heart as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” 2 Cor. 1:21,22
“Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves, but our competence comes from God.” 2 Cor 3:4,5
I hope some of these verses help you.
I am just so happy right now to finally identify the source of my problem with growth and change, I hated change and avoid it at all cost, which is probably why I take really good care of everything I can remember as far back as grammar school never raising my hand to answer a question unless I was sure it was the right answer. I seldom raised my hand and far too often I knew the right answer but fear alwaysl caused me to doubt myself. I did poorly on an entrance exam for a highly ranked high school; Two thirds of the exam was blank because I could not proceed to the next question until I was absolutely sure my answer was correct, and of course time ran out. As I got older I vowed to never get married because men were incapable of being monogamous so why bother, perhaps it’s was just my way of covering up the fact that I didn’t feel any man would find me worthy. At any rate I’m so thankful that the Lord has been working with me and has blessed me with this opportunity to shed more of the self-doubt that still weighs me down and causes me to stay stuck in situations that keep me feeling miserable. Renee thank you so much for allowing God to use you in such a way. May we continue doing that which is pleasing to our Lord and Savior, and may He continue to show up in our lives.
Love,
Diane
This devotional is going to reinforce some areas that I have been working out with God for sometime now. As a matter of fact my husband preached today on the power of words; he used an example of how when I was in highschool and failed my maith class in 9th and again in 10th grade; I was told that, “I would never pass it, that I would never get math and should just drop it, I didnt need it anyway.” Those words stuck with me all throughout my life even though I never really thought about it. Until I was toying with the idea of going back to school and when I found out that taking core classes, math was a requirement, well I almost gave up on the whole idea. I did go through with the class, wound up having panick attacks and severe anxiety, but ultimately passed the class with an “A”. That is just one example of the doubt that has been creeping into my life over the years. Having been in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship for 15 years helped alot as well. I now am married to a very loving godly man, and with his support and strength with God, and back up from friends, family and this wonderful book; I have come a very long way; but occasionally the shadows of the past allow the doubt to try to take over and sometimes it can be a major struggle; but over time it has become much easier.
I experienced this loss of confidence today. I told a friend of mine that I can’t teach a lesson for the ladies classed church because “I am not worth it.” she talked me out if this though later tonight. I don’t feel like teaching because I failto let God’s light shine through me. But isn’t this just what Satan wants, menot teaching God? Oh, my…. I am getting my confidence back (a little.) pray for me to not be a coward…
Anxiety and self-doubt have always been a massive struggle for me. At one point a psychologist told me that I was so anxious I would never make a real difference in the world and would never connect with anyone on any significant level. Still, by grace, in the past I’ve refused to let fear make my decisions. I finished my medical training and spent four and a half years working in Afghanistan. Then I crashed with a relapse of a chronic physical illness, and probably significant burnout too. I’ve been home for three years now and am slowly getting back on my feet. God has taught me a lot about Himself and about myself in the past three years. He’s redirecting me from medical work to a different sort of ministry. . . one in which I’m much less in control (and that’s saying a lot, since there was little I had control over in Afghanistan!) I’m excited by what God is doing and want to share what He has given me with others. But self-doubt still often haunts me. Despite encouragement that my blog has been helpful to people, now that I sense God calling me to write a book, self-doubt keeps setting in. Can I do this? Who will want to read it? Can I trust that I’m hearing correctly what God is calling me to do? . . . and yet somehow I know this is what God is asking and I am choosing to face into the fear and trust Him and write. Thank you, Renee, for being faithful to follow God through your own struggle with self-doubt and now to share what He has given you with us. You are an encouragement.
I have struggled with self-doubt, most usually disguised as fear, for as long as I can remember. I am a couple of days away from turning 51 years old and I would so like to move past this and become the woman God wants me to be. My score was 122 and when I read the category description for this number it was spot on. I am so looking forward to working through this 7-day Doubt Diet and shedding some of this weight!
I took the tet and found that I am in the middle. simetimes I feel confident and other times I feel unconfident. I came to Know Jesus when I was 64 years old so I have a lot of years behind me and a lot of instances where I had absolutely no conficence. Jesus has given me confidence through Him. I no longer always feel like I can’t do this or that. Here is where my real lack of confidence lies, IN THE THINGS I CAN AND SHOULD BE DOING FOR JESUS, LIKE SHARING AND TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT HIM. I am so unconfident in these areas that I literally can not go out and even try unless I go with someone else who is either confident or more confident then me. For me it is a battle with the enemy and it keeps me from doing the things I want to do for Christ. My hope is that this 7 day diet will help me to see how I can be totaly confident in Jesus or at least get me started toward that goal. Thank you Renee for giving us this time and sharing these things with us. Bless you
I thank God for you Renee, and how He is going to use you to help me, and many others!
When I was 4, I had polio which affected both legs and my right arm. Looking back, I see how God loves me and uses difficult situations to bring us to Him. Yet, I fall back into the pattern of thinking that I am broken and inadequate. I learned to walk, by God’s grace, and led a “normal” childhood, got married right out of HS and had 5 children. After 15 yrs of a very mentally abusive marriage, I divorced and raised the kids. I went to college and received an associates degree, then worked for 10 yrs. before I remarried. Then, i was diagnosed with Post Polio Syndrome and began a physical decline. My husband died after 15 yrs. with a massive heart attack. Then, after a year, I moved in with one of my 4 daughters. Now, I am 70. I walk with a cane, small distances and I can drive short distances to church activities, the Dr. and the pharmacy. My daughter and her husband lead a very busy life so I rarely leave my room. I scored 156 on the Doubt Index Analysis. It was difficult to admit to myself that I should take your self doubt test.
I have lived with self doubt and lack of self worth all my life. I am working through the process of gaining confidence. Funny how it use to be so easy to tell my first graders that any one of them could learn to read… if they just believed! But I have trouble following those words myself. I have put myself in the midst of some richly blessed ladies… “Jesus Girls” if you will… and I am learning that my lack of confidence is Satan’s way to weasel in… to redirect me. Thank Goodness, I am recognizing this and learning to believe in God and His love, His support in my life. I have thrown away so much in the past… I am looking forward to holding on, knowing that with God’s help, I can accomplish my goals.
WOW, what a testimony. I have lived my whole life with considerable self doubt. Starting when I was very young, and still as I struggle with Multiple Sclerosis, and living alone after being divorced many years. I never really put my thoughts on the table till after reading the book and doing parts in the Bible Study. I recognizes God is with me every step of the way. There are times I don’t understand why things happen, but it makes me a better person, and a powerful example of what one can be like with God in their life and heart. Please keep the positive thoughts of living and growing to help enhance my self confidence. I still have a lot to learn, but my journey with the Lord is where it is at for me.
Thank you
Thank you for allowing God to use you and give me and others insight today. I am always thinking I am not good enough, not smart enough or whatever. This week I am taking a test that will benefit me with my employment. I am studying and feel good as I take the review questions but the closer the date get to test I feel overwhelmed, not smart enough or too old to learn. Today you have helped me so much. I feel better just knowing I am not alone and reminded that ALL Things are Possible for Those who Believe. and this scripture is awesome!!
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36, (NIV)
Thank you
Belief!
Thank you, Renee, for your faithfulness and willingness to share your own weaknesses so others can learn and grow with God too. I am in my mid forties and have struggled with doubt and people pleasing my whole life. I have allowed myself to fall back into old ‘normal’ patterns from when I was young. None of it is normal and none of it is God’s best. I pray that this time, I will move forward and allow God to bring the healing I need through your encouragement and sharing. Thank you so very much and God Bless you Abundantly!!
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FALL!!!!!!!!! That blessing is this study and you Rene for following God’s conviction to present it. I have always felt confident and very close to God but due to a horrible situation that happened in our family 2 years ago doubt, anxiety, fear and isolation have all but taken over. I hold Jeremiah 29:11 very close to my heart and know that God doesn’t leave us. Thank you again for following God’s nudging.
Today was the most perfect day for this to start with the most perfect verse for where I am at. Lately I have been struggling because I have followed what God has wanted for me and so far, it isn’t making any sense. There is more stress for me than before and I just don’t understand how I am to do anything else that I know he is calling me to do. I am afraid that things will go just as poorly if I follow the path I am being led on. To make matters worse, someone very close to me is in the same dilema but over a different situation. How do you hold onto your confidence when everything is going so badly? The second half of that verse today really jumped out and bit me. Thank you so much.
I’m usually pretty confident. But, lately I struggle with allowing others to make me feel inadequate and question myself. I have been married to a wonderful man for 27 yrs. We have raised 3 children who are all married and have children of their own, or are expecting a child. I worked as an Administrative Secretary at a public school for 17 yrs. I quit that job thinking that I needed a change. Well, little did I know that my world was going to change a lot. Before May 2008, it was just the 5 of us in my sweet, loving family. Now, since May 2008 my family has grown from just 5 to 13 (expecting our 5th grandchild (#13) in May 2012). Also, in May of 2010 I became a first time college student. Really, what was I thinking! All these things are very exciting and extremely wonderful. I love my family and how it has grown. But, with growth came a lot of chanllenges, new personalities to learn and get along with. We are still a very close-knit family, and the additions to the family fit wonderfully. But, being a wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother (memaw), and a college student, in just a short period of time has taken me on a whirl-wind adventure that I never seen coming. It’s very important to me to be a good memaw and mother-in-law, but the mother-in-law is a challenge. So far, there has not been any problems, except that I’m overly concerned about keeping everyone happy, without regard for my own personal health and well-being. I put aside my own personal time to enjoy my husband, my crafts, and homework, which I usually have to stay up late to finish. The problem is I try to be “SUPER WOMAN” to please everyone else because I fear being seen as not good enough, not making the grade. I don’t have close friends to talk with, so I keep everything that I’m feeling and going through to myself. I hang on tight to my Savior, He is the only one that knows. I’ll be looking forward to receiving your devotions. God Bless ~
Hello Beverly – haha! another grandma in college. I have been a student for four years in LU’s online college and will graduate in march 2012 with a psyc degree in counseling. I had no idea how I would accomplish it but so many other horrors have happened that the schoolwork has been the only constant and stable thing over these years. I don’t have alot of close friends either so lets get to know one another. I have been the person everyone depended on and now that has flipped over and I need new friends who can stand the “new” me!
Thanks Renee,
I really needed this at this time in my life. I am very doubtful about my marraige and my family. I worry about being able to keep it all together – I truly hope that this will help me. Thank you so much this will be very inspiring.
I love this because I need to hear this. I have so many doubts, the first one is how god is talking to me. I know the word says that I know the plans I have for you, but I am still trying to know what my talents are and what he wants me to do. I do not feel that I am good at anything and then fear and worry sets in. Asking for your prayers.
Cathy,
I can related at thinking that you’re not good at anything. I too am looking for my purpose and what I am good at. I think I’ve tried just about everything and then I get discouraged. That little voice always says to me all the things that I cannot do. I think that sometimes I’m not smart enough to have a better job or take on new challenges.
Lately I’ve been making myself do things that I would normally shy away from. I’m stepping out on faith but even when I do that I still think to myself that I’m not good enough. I just applied for another position at my current job. I didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t want to tell them I didn’t get it when I find out their decision. I mean I already count myself out before I even know the results!
So I agree with you Cathy, we have to remember that God knows the plans for us. His plans are to prosper us and not to bring any harm.
Keep the faith!
Kelly
I accepted Christ as my savior when I was 6. 28 years later I “feel” that God will be disappointed in my life, because I’m not strong enough, good enough, … I know these are lies and God has given me the power through His son to tell Satan to “Back off and Leave me alone in Christ’s name”. Finding a study that will help me remember this and become closer to God is something I need. Right now I feel alone. My husband and I are on different paths with God and that is hard for me to handle. I do believe that if God can move the hearts of Kings and my own heart that He will move in my husbands as well.
Self-doubt is something I struggled with for a long time. I still have times where it gets to me. However, as I have gotten older, my faith in God has strengthened. I feel so badly for those of you who posted earlier! I just want you to know that God loves YOU!!!! Even though life may be hard right now, don’t eve forget that! God has a special place for you in His plan.
My journey has taken me to some tough places, which brought me back to God. The bad things can have good come out of them. I have become more confident as I put my trust in God, as I put my focus on God. He doesn’t expect us to be perfect, just to do what we can and let Him do the rest.
Love & prayers to you all!!!
Renee, Thanks for having another session of your 7 day diet. I think as women we’ve all battled with and will continue to battle with our confidence level. The Lord has shown me that when I find my confidence in Him alone will I truly feel confident. Because in truth, people can leave, feelings can fade and things can be stolen or age. Nothing will ever stay the same but God, therefore I need to find my confidence in Him and who I am in and through Him. Thanks for keeping us grounded and helping us to keep our focus in the right direction!
I agree with what you just wrote. When our significance is based on our relationship with Christ then everything else falls in to place. It’s not how we perform (we will not be perfect on this side), it’s not based on our emotions or hormone level (emotions are neither good or bad…and the hormones can really have a roller coaster ride) but in Christ and Christ alone. We as women will struggle with our
confidence level here and there on things but if we realize we are a one of a kind unique individual in God’s eyes and that our confidence is in Him and Him alone…well…it takes the pressure off of those struggles. I am not perfect and that is ok. I may not be where I want to be but thank God I am not where I use to be. Praying for everyone here as I know we will all be praying for each other.
AMEN AND AMEN
I’ll “Amen” that too!
I am a dentist, but I gave up my practice 15 years ago to be at home with my kids. I work part-time and have lost confidence, because I need to work more. I have an interview and hope it will work out. The Lord healed me of melanoma. The cancer hadn’t spread. I have a burden in my private life that I won’t share but it keeps me from rejoicing as I ought in the Lord. At least today. I sometimes doubt anybody loves me. That’s enough for now. I should be happier cince I don’t have cancer. Thanks, Jan
As a cancer surviver, I understand the fear one has; yet I truly believe God has a plan for each and every one of us. Keep praying that God will guide you to do the things He has in store for us. If it is God’s will, your interview will go great – and God wants you (and us) to have the confidence to follow through on the assignments that God is directing in our lives.
I can relate to Day 1 story. I am doubting I am any good at work or at home as a mother and wife. I am ready to give up and want to run away from it. I know that is not the right fix and will not run at this time. I am going to counseling. I try to talk to my husband but don’t get much response. My children are teenagers so they don’t rely on me like they use to and my 2 yr old wants to be so much like them and tries to be independent.
I’m so thankful your doing this this week! I am speaking at a women’s retreat this coming weekend, and this week I will likely be “throwing away my confidence.” I am hoping this doubt diet will help me know I am doing what God wants me to do.
Praying for you. So glad you are part of this group!
Whoops. I meant to say I”m praying for your event Kelly!! I know you’ll be great and women will be blessed to hear what God says through you!
I have always thought of myself as a confident woman. Not so much in my abilities, but also in God. So I was surprised to see that I scored in the 154-110 range, and on the high end of that range, too. I’m looking forward to learning how to banish doubt once and for all, and sharing this week with everyone in the group.
Thanks, Renee, for this awesome opportunity!
Praying for you. So glad you are part of this group!!
I struggle with a lot of fear, usually of the unknown. That seems to cause me to want to retain control over things and retreat from things I cannot control or from situations where I cannot safely predict the outcome. This comes in waves…lack of confidence and then extreme trust in God…lack of confidence and then extreme trust in God…..and on and on.
I, too, know how you are feeling; since then, I have learned a bit about F.E.A.R. . . . do you know that fear stands for . . . FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL . . .
you are loved so much by our awesome Father and He wants nothing but the best for each of us.
Peggy that statement right there about F E A R is very true. A True way of looking at it and being able to overcome it
Renee,
You won’t believe this but I am 42 and I have spent my life trying to please others and I just realized I don’t
Know if I can have the confidence enough to know what things I like to do,
How I want to decorate my house, what foods I like,etc. I’ve just gone with the flow for so long. Where to start?
I can totally relate to you. At one point I found myself overwhelmed in a grocery store because I could not figure out what kind of breakfast cereal I liked. I knew what my kids liked but no idea on what I might like. It’s funnty today but that day in the grocery store felt so lonely and so BIG!
Oh i wonder how many of us there are? I want so badly to serve the Lord, but to be honest i dont even know what i could do to serve Him, i dont know what i am good at
Hi Stephie-
There are probably alot more of us out there than we realize. I am amazed at how many women feel the same way I do. I thank God for this site and I will be here faithfully awaiting my next message so we can free ourselves from this doubt and pain.
We can all encourage each other-God has a plan for us and He will reveal it in a way that we will know what it is. I believe this the beginning of a new phase in all our lives. I’m praying for us all.
Thank you, Audrey. Right there with ya!
Oh friends, you are SO NOT ALONE!! There is a devotion coming up in the Doubt Diet about this very topic of not knowing what our purpose is. I’m working on an ebook to follow up with it, to help women find their purpose. It’s based on my own search for mine!! Hopefully will have it done in Nov/Dec. The ebook will be inexpensive and I’ll make sure to post about it here.
Praying for you all!!
I think about this too! Sometimes I feel so strange wondering why it is so hard for me to decide what my favorites are…or simply what I want to do. I’m at a crossroad in my healing journey where I feel like I could stay “safe” or take a leap. I could do anything at this juncture. I know God is there, but even wonder what HE wants. I think your post has Him giggling, and me smiling, because now I’m imagining God saying “yeah, sometimes you just need to make a decision on what you want and ask for it.” (if that makes sense) May God bless you!
I’m right there with you…
I have doubted my marriage will work. I am thankful I came across this website. I am also thankful for two friends who are praying and supporting me through this journey right now. I am hopeful and encouraged.
Thank you
Praying for your marriage Regina!
I struggle with not knowing if I can do this. A friend saw me struggling today, and told me I needed to find out what I needed, and be sure to get that. I just looked back at her, not sure what it was I needed…a nap? a good cry? a can of double-dip chocolate covered peanuts? (I am trying to get back on the low-carb wagon…LOL!).
The enemy has been waving comfort items in front of my face, with the promise of soothing. When I give in to whatever that “comfort” is,” I am rewarded with a slap in the face. The enemy throws it back in my face. I am a failure, inconsistent, worthless, ineffective for God’s Kingdom.
Don’t you believe it!
Satan is a liar, thief, murderer….. but he is a LOSER too! Thanks to Jesus!
You are no failure!
You are not worthless or ineffective!
God will be with you through your trials and You will praise His Name and tell others of His goodness.
I have uttered these same words and felt these same sentiments so many times. Be mindful Rhea that you are a chosen child of God, set-apart and loved. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in His divine image – no other creation in all the earth can boast that! Remember that when you are weak, He is strong . . . “do not lose heart . . . For our light and mementary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18) Let Him do an eternal work in and through you knowing that He can accomplish more than you could ever ask or imagine.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. It is comforting to know that we truly are in this together.
May you sense God’s presence and hear His voice in a mighty way today. Amen
Amen!! Thank you both for being so authentic and loving Him so beautifully by the way you are loving on each other. Your prayers and encouragement have blessed me so today!
Hi, I am in a place of intense grief and rejection, and need God to do something special.
Linda, I’m asking God to show himself to you in a mighty way so that you can feel Him rocking you in His arms. I’ve been there, know how you feel, and know that only Gods comfort will heal you and bring you out.
Linda, I admire your transparency. God can use ALL things, and though it’s still hard for me some days through my own loss and broken-heart, I am learning, with time and His healing and faithfulness, that it really is true that ALL things are usable. You are someone God wants to use, even in your earthly rejection. I’ll pray for you. Read Renee’s book…I keep meditating on “Those who hope in the Lord will NOT be disappointed.” Sending hugs, sweet sister in Christ.
Boy, I thought I was alone with the way I was feeling about my struggles with weight and self dought. I feel so blessed to know that I will be on this journey with so many wonderful women that are going through the same thing. I will give 100% of myself to this journey.
Thank you God and Renee for hearing my prayers. God I know that you will be with me and will get me through this. Through you Lord, all things are possible.
You ARE a beautiful child of God, and He loves you so much. It is so reassuring to know that through Christ – ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
Dear Janet,
You’re soooo not alone in your struggles.
Praying for you and for the next 2 weeks of this our anti-doubt journey.
Hugs 🙂
I need this right now. I am doubting myself that I’m not good enough. I hide it as worry and anxiety, but the first devotion hit home because that’s where my thoughts are. Please pray I can overcome this.
You are good enough sweet friend. God loves you with all HIS heart and He has a purpose for your life – one He wants to reveal to you as you seek Him and through you as you serve Him!! Blessings and hugs to you!
Thanks Renee. I now know that I am not alone in the way I feel. My doubt index is so high, I really need to press in and allow God to heal me of this. I like you, keep it to myself, worry and fear and allow doubts and lacking self confidence to keep me back from what God wants for me. I really need the Lord to help me with this. Sometimes we have head knowledge that is difficult to get into our hearts. Only God can, He is able, nothing is too hard for Him. God Bless you Renee as you help us work through these things.
U r a very intelligent and tallented lady. Thank you for your thoughts and encouragment.
I read your sweet comment to my kids – just so they’d know someone thinks their momma is smart. Thank you sweet Jane for making me smile!!
This was such a good refresher for me. I had read it and done the doubt analysis and it helped a lot. I am working on trying to be the woman that God wants me to be. It can be taxing and time consuming, but I have decided to keep on. I know that God will get the victory in this whole situation. I am reminded of my own worth in God. Thanks for the refresher.
I am so lonely n brokenhearted. This came
at a most needed time. I am tired of being alone n want to be with the man God has for me. Im not dating n havent for sometime. Im not looking just asking God to bring him back to me and my self esteem is down n i dont trust myself because i have always messed up by pushing n not being patient to let things progress as it needs to so he ran. Which broke me even more. I do trust God with all my heart.
Sandra, I’m praying that you can embrace the fact that God delights over you and sings about you. Zephaniah 3:17. I know how you feel. After 18 years of marriage my husband left and remarried. It’s been 4 years. Never dated before him, God finally sent a man into my life but I realize both of our doubts and fears, he suffered a heart wrenching divorce as well,keep stopping us in our tracks and thus affirming our fears. So crazy, I’ve decided to stop trying to make what God has designed to work and let God do it.
You are special, God knows your hurts and fears, he collects your tears and promises your latter days WILL be greater than your past. Walk in it sister!
I agree. What a beautiful promise, Danielle, to claim for our sweet, precious, loved by God sister, Sandra. Even a man’s love can’t fill those empty places or heal our wounds. Until God’s love is our enough, no man’s will ever be enough. Praying Jesus’ love for you will captivate your heart and take your breath away as HE convinces you how beautiful you are to HIM and how much He adores you!!
Dear Sandra,
If you trust God with all your heart, as you do, you wll not be disappointed. And you can be sure that He can and will heal your brokenness because no matter how we’ve messed up, nothing is impossible with God.
I’m saying this to myself as well – my situation is quite smilar…
Praying for you, Sister 🙂
Hugs x
My sister In Christ I also struggle with this so many times I have got in GODS was. Let’s pray that we can be still and wait on him. I ask this in JESUS NAME. With GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
Hi Sandra,
When I read your comment my heart jumped because I could have written that myself. You know, I was always picking the wrong man. I have been divorced twice and didn’t want to spend the rest of my life without someone. My son was grown and out of the house and I really didn’t have friends because I just had no self-confidence in myself and shied away from group activities in high school therefore I never learned how to develop long lasting relationships with anyone. Then while trying an online dating service I met someone who I foolishly thought was the man God was sending me and it turned out to be the worst nightmare of my life. After encouraging him to move in after only knowing him for 3 months, (which was wrong) and then getting engaged by “gently pushing him” he turned out to be an alcoholic who just about ruined my life. I was so desperate for someone that I completely overlooked all the signs and was angry at my family for not telling me what they thought about him becausetold me afterward, that they figured something like that was wrong with him. But then I had to ask myself “would I have listened” because I was so desperate? Anyway, I was so afraid of him I wouldn’t stay in my own house (I stayed with my sister) because of his drunken outbursts that I had to devise a way to get him out. He may have been a drunk but he was a “smart” one but thankfully I had God on my side. I won’t go into all the details because this “comment” would turn into a novel but I did get him out and all of his belongings and I had the locks changed and my phone number changed before I felt safe. I lost a ton of weight because I couldn’t eat and on top of all that-my Mom had undergone surgery on her knee but developed pneumonia and it was serious. Let me tell you that was the worst month of my life and although I didn’t know it at the time, God was right there with me through it all. He kept me safe from physical harm and allowed my mind to work correctly and get him out of my house.
After all that I still want a companion (smile) but I am waiting for God to literally drop him in my pathway and speak to me from the heavens to tell me “this man is for you”. LOL!!! Seriously, I am not pusuing anyone but just living my life and trying to be the woman God wants me to be. I hope that He has someone for me but if not, I will just have to learn to be content.
Sandra, be strong sweetie, it won’t be easy but wait on the Lord-although we know mentally that He knows best, we have to start believing it with our hearts.
I’m praying for you and hope you will pray for me.
Love and God Bless.
Sandra,
I’m going through a pretty similar situation myself. I just want you to know you’re not alone. I would get so caught up in self-doubt and even self-criticism because “I messed up” so much in my relationship. The thing is, we aren’t perfect. We are going to mess up in every relationship. We just need to learn from what we did do wrong and move on. This situation has taught me to lean on Him more and learn to fall in love with Him. Since love is a choice, not a feeling, whenever I feel down I choose to devote myself to Him and accept His compassion for me. You can do this. You can get over this. You can move on and use this experience to become a confident woman of God. Don’t worry about finding someone now. Take the focus off yourself (I have to remind myself of this all the time) and direct it to loving others and serving others for God. Then when that right man walks into your life, he will be amazed at you: this wonderful woman who has compassion on others and a true heart for the Lord. Then you will become a woman that your husband will be proud of. So that when he’s sitting around with his buddies and you walk by, he’ll smile and say: “That’s her.” Just keep your chin up, sweet one, rest in Him. He will provide. Just like He provided Abraham with a sacrifice, He will provide you with the right man in His time.
4 “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame.
Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.
You will no longer remember the shame of your youth
and the sorrows of widowhood.
5 For your Creator will be your husband;
the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name!
He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
the God of all the earth.
6 For the Lord has called you back from your grief—
as though you were a young wife abandoned by her husband,”
says your God.
7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with great compassion I will take you back.
8 In a burst of anger I turned my face away for a little while.
But with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord, your Redeemer.
Isaiah 54:4-8
You’re in my thoughts, heart, and prayers! Even though I haven’t met you, I love ya!
*hugs*
-Rachel
This is amazing how we all encourage eachother with positive comments.
God IS good! With god ALL things are possible! And work together for good! 🙂
Sandra:
I understand how you feel and more. I have been through 1 divorce and soon after re married and now I am separated from my 2nd husband. There were both unbelivers but I thought that “if I loved them enough they will change”. But we know that the one responsible for change is our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I also get lonely and I am raising a 13 year old girl who misses and loves her dad so much and it breaks my heart. I recently moved back from Florida to Trinidad to live with my parents, as I have been going through some sickness and healing from these emotional scars. I am a mental health therapist who is looking for a job but to tell you the truth no medications nothing can help more than the Word and Promises of our GOD. Believe it Sandra I know that times its hard and we feel like we are all alone but we are not. He is always there and still in Control. He loves you my friend, more than anyone will do. I also wonder if I will ever be with anyone but you know what I am learning to trust God everyday that He is enough for me. I will keep you in my prayers. Let us keep praying for each other. God Bless you my Sisaters 🙂
I struggle with this a LOT. From the time I wake up of a morning until I fall asleep, I struggle with this. I have low self esteem and a lack of confidence. Please pray for me. I truly enjoy reading your devotionals.
Praying for you. I want to challenge you to memorize our key verses and say them to yourself every day. Pray the scripture prayers out loud and ask God to engrave them on your heart!! When you allow HIM to change the way you think, His thoughts will change the way you feel and eventually transform the way you live – I promise!
This devotion came at a time when I needed it in a really big way. I used to be in fast food management then I went to retail management and I succeeded in both and did very well in my careers. Then I left the workforce to care for my mother after she had a major stroke. She passed away in 2006 then my dad became ill and I have cared for him and only worked meager part time jobs over the last five years. This week I returned to full time management and have been totally overwhelmed!!! My confidence level as hit rock bottom knowing all the changes that have occurred over the last eleven years. I have doubted all week that I can do this. I am so thankful that today I logged on and read that through Christ I can have confidence to do this!!
You CAN do it!! and you will be a success. Ask God for wisdom to follow through on the assignments He has for your life. You WILL do a great job!!!
I agree with Peggy! James 1:5 says: “If any of you lacks wisdom, (she) should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to (her).”
Claiming His promise in James 1 for you, too!
Patti–great verse. I really needed this simple, straightforward reminder to just keep asking until I understand. Thank you.
There is a whole lot of information in the book of James.
Hi Renee,
Your comments are so timely. This weekend I began thinking seriously about writing the book people keep telling me I should write when I share my story with them.
In the past twent-six years, I have experienced the death of my father, six months later the demise of my 18 year old marriage (he told my sister’s husband on the day of my father’s funeral that he was having an affair).
Eight months and over 100 letters later I married my best friend’s widower and became mother to his four children along with my own two – moving them from GA to PA.
Twenty months later I found my husband dead of a massive coronary. At 40 I became a widow with sons ages 24, 21, 16, 16 (one mine & one his), and daughters ages 15, 13.
That was Oct. 23, 1988. In July 1992, I married for a third time adding another son the same age as my two younger boys.
Since then I have graduated from seminary twice (MDiv. & DMin.) and servered as pastor in three churches.
Here’s where you come in. Last night when I went to bed, I was feeling strongly lead to write this book but when I woke up the doubts started talking to me, ”You can’t write a book. Where would you begin? Why would anyone want to read it? What would be the point of it? You have nothing new to say.”
As the doubts came at me I prayed, ”God give me a sign that it’s your will and not my ego.” When I read your post it was like God was sending me a message that the doubts were not from him.
I’m still not sure how to birth this book but I did write a 100 page doctoral thesis thst I also had doubts about writing. So, I trust God to show me when and how to do it. As for anyone reading it, well that’s God’s problem to solve.
Oh, I love how God works. If He’s called you to it – He will see you through it. Believe me, I doubted I could write A Confident Heart and many times I questioned why I should since there are so many good books already out there. I’m so glad I didnt quit – even if my kids, family and friends were the only one who read it. What God did in me while I wrote it was enough to make it all worth what it took.
Praying for you Karen!
Karen – Yours is the first comment I read and I felt compelled to tell you I will keep you and your book in my prayers. Your story gave me goosebumps. I’ve been divorced and widowed and have the greatest respect for you for coming through the valley and wanting to climb the nountain on the other side. I wish you all the best and I hope I recognize your book when it’s published!
Keep persevering…God will show you the way! I returned to teaching after being home with my children for 11 years. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. It’s when i allow my thoughts to wander from Him that doubt begins to creep in….I’m on my third year at a public school and God is sure teaching me a lot about how to Trust in HIm and with that He’s building my confidence.
I am at the end of my rope with condemnation, guilt and shame. I hope this will help me. all I do is read books, I am an intelligent woman. I dissapoint myself and God.many lose this weight. I give in, hate myself, make promises, getting nowhere fast. just miserable. God has given me so much, yet I can’t get free. “let nothing have dominion over me.’.. what does it take? and why can’t I get it. I am my worst enemy. please pray for me. thank you.
Connie,
We can’t grow in the Lord if we are looking back or to one side. Keep focused on the prize you have by being a child of GOD. The reward is huge. satan knows our weaknesses. After all he has had 2000 years to practice. Meditate on our fathers words and ask him what he wants to you do. When you are ready our father will guide you to the point he wants you at. Connie look in the mirrow and know that you are loved! God Bless.