So excited to start this “Confident Heart” journey with you!
The first thing I want you to remember: This is YOUR journey. You’ll be reading the chapters, listening to God speak to your heart, highlighting sentences, promises and quotes you want to remember and apply. You’ll be answering reflection questions and interacting with the group.
You’ll be doing the work of believing God!
I’ll be shepherding, leading, encouraging, connecting and pacing us. I’ll be sharing my heart and more of my story…because I want you to see you are not alone and give you courage to see and share yours. I’ll be praying for you and challenging you – but you’ll only get out as much as you put in.
Today, I asked the Lord what I needed to give up – so I can give more to Him – and this study. I immediately sensed Him whispering “work.” And I knew it was Him. I love my job and I’ve been working too many late night hours after the kids go to bed. So I’m cutting back the next several weeks to consecrate more of me TO HIM and to you!
What will you cut back on to make time for Him and yourself these next several weeks? I’m really going to challenge you and give you permission to block out at least a little bit of time each day to concentrate on replacing the OLD with the NEW He has for you! Ready? Here we go:
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A Confident Heart Online Study (Day 1)
Read the Acknowledgements (I’ll explain tomorrow why I wanted you to do this).
Read Chapter 1. Please highlight verses and sentences that grab your attention or tug on your heart. What is God saying to you though this chapter? Write down what you sense God speaking to your heart in the margins of your book, or in a journal/notebook that you’ll use throughout this study.
A video message from my heart to yours is coming later tonight. I’ll post it on my website later since I’m not quite ready to post it yet. But I wanted to go ahead get this loaded so you can get started!
I’ll send an email and post on our Confident Heart Facebook page to let you know when the video is up and ready for viewing.
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GROUP CHAT: What sentences in Chapter 1 resonate with you or tug at your heart?
Click “Share Your Thoughts” below (or click here and scroll to the bottom of this post) if you’re reading this via email).
Also, please share one or two on our Confident Heart Facebook Page or on Twitter (@reneesswope) using the hashtag #AConfidentHeart.
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I just started the book too and am joining late.
A couple of things that stood out to me: Regarding the voices of insecurity, how they have cast shadows of doubt over our perspective and kept us from becoming the women we want to be-the woman God created us to be. Self doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart. That is so true in my life. Self doubt has limited me at so many turns. When I first graduated from college 25 years ago, I lacked the self confidence to really promote myself in a career, skewed my ability to make decisions with confidence, so many things. Becoming a christian at age 30 brought about a turning point as I accepted that the Lord truly loved me and had a plan for me. In some ways through him I have become more confident, yet in other ways I am still pummeled by the voices of insecurity.
I am in the middle of a career change. I have been a stay at home mom, and a homeschool mom. We have been done homeschooling since 2008 and in the years since I have struggled finding something of equal “worth” to do. After a few different jobs, I returned to school to pursue Nursing. I just finished the last of my science prerequisites and begin the Nursing program in August. I have finished with A’s. This is huge for me as I never thought of myself as smart, but I believe the Lord has really helped with that! And I am hoping through this on-line study that I”ll learn more about what God says is true.
Discussion question #4: Describe what happens in your heart when you read God’s Word. My answer HOPE! Isaiah 43:19 especially speaks to me, “See, I am doing a new thing!” I love this. It is applicable to my life right now and I want Him at work changing me from the inside out.
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I know this started on April 1st and I’m very late but I just started the book yesterday. I can say that I’ve wrestled for many years with my self confidence. As a student, as a mother, as a wife and even as an employee all of these points in my life I have questioned myself. I’ve been afraid to show my work as a very skilled artist and to this day no one has ever really seen my artwork .
What I was able to relate to in this first chapter is the fact I have been paralyzed by my insecurities throughout my entire life. I have been praying everyday since I acquired a new job that God would give me more confidence and everyday, I still struggle. I do feel that this book will help me understand why I feel this way daily. But I know that God is my true help in my time of need. I look forward to letting you know of my progress.
Looking forward to what God is going to do in each of our lives during this study. Thank you, Renee, for hosting this study and allowing God to speak through you in order to build up the women of His church. He wants us to have confident hearts and I trust that the Holy Spirit will build that up in each of us through this study.
I was particularly moved this week by answering the reflection questions. It took me a while to recall my earliest memories of insecurity…which is a very good thing, but whoa! When I did see that my insecurities took root, they were really deep. Thankfully, I know the love of Christ and those insecurities are being uprooted and replaced by His promises. What a wonderful exchange!
God bless!
I have just started reading chapter one, i know you ladies are already ahead of me so I hope you will be reading this. What immediately struck me was that I was chosen and picked by God. It reminded me of the times I was in elementary school and they picked you for a team. I was always last and sometimes only picked because they had to pick ya. But God Wow, He chose me first before i was even born. I had to stop and really think – And PRAISE God because to him I’m not an after though … Just that thought alone made me smile and realize – things can change.
At last your book has arrived from USA :-). I have been saving the emails so as to be able to follow them through. I have been a bit shocked to find that my self doubt has had such a control over my life. God has been showing me this whilst I have been waiting.
So many of your posts are bright and encouraging. Right now I feel tired and discouraged. I know that some of this is lack of sleep. But hey! I am glad that the book has arrived and I will be able to follow them. Praise God.
My insecurities begin in childhood anumber of things contributing- as with most kids you have to fit in and you want o be with the in crowd- also I remember a comment an aunt made to me as a child which I still remember today- a lot of my childhood memories are gone-not this one. The statement which jumped out at me was Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so we can live with a confident heart. I don’t want to willingly let anything block God’s truth and power to change me from the inside out. when I saw you were going to do this study I didn’t have the book and searching online decided I couldn’t afford it – Yesterday I went into the bookstore to purchase a gift and found the book on sale for $5.00. I think that is a clear message from God I need to be here. Looking forward to it.
Ok I must Confess I am already behind but I am trusting God that I will get everything he wants me to get out of this study!! Here is a quote that stood out to me on week 1: “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the, light. Turn back toward the light.
I have spend so many years feeling alone and useless, like God has forgotten about me but I am starting to see that it was me who had forgotten God in my life, God hasm’t forgotten about me.
Sorry for joining in with everyone so late in the week. Such a supportive group already!!
The things that stood out to me so far are that I have the power to CHOOSE whether or not to “dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him”, that “self doubt is blocking me from His promise of His power and truth to change me from the inside out so I can live with a confident heart”, I need to KNOW and BELIEVE change is possible and that “doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time”.
So much to reflect upon and learn from! I could so relate to the statement on page 21 where it says “Or maybe you’ve sensed God calling you to serve Him in a way that requires steps of faith, but insecurity has convinced you that you’re not smart enough or gifted enough.” Really struck home!
Looking forward to this study and the positive changes it will bring!
Hi Judy: You are not alone. I also started late but better late than never. Had a lot of things going on in my everyday life but I am ready to do this. LETS DO IT.
“You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light”. This, as with so many others resonated in my heart. I have been a believer for as long as I can remember so “I know” what I need to do… In my human-ness, busy-ness (you name the excuse) I have turned away. It has been a gradual turning, really unnoticeable, until one day (now!) I am shocked to find myself where I am – alone and floundering around in shadows…groping at anything that will keep me afloat. I am thrilled for this study and am really ready for God to work in my life, turning me once again into who He desires for me to be.
The shadow and light sentenced also piereced my heart. Also, where it sait “Doubt keeps us from believing that things can better. Doubt convinces us that it’s not worth the effort. Doubt shout from the sidelines. and also “Yet doubt & hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time, As God’s girls we need to Know and Believe that change is possible.”
Wow, that’s a lot to think about and take in. I’m ready!
Sorry for joining in so late Renee, but just had to make sure that I got on board with this great study. The thing that spoke to me was the paragraph on page 22 that says, ” These are the voices of insecurity that cast shadows of doubt over our perspective and keep us from becoming the women we want to be – the women God created us to be, Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.”
This felt like you were talking about my life, about my experience with self doubt. Self doubt seems to be someone I have dated for a long time, and because of it I have stop listening to the promises that God has promised me through His son Jesus. Thanks for putting this in writing and allowing me to see it, accept it, and start working on fixing it. You are a true instrument of God.
What stuck out for me was the line, “Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.” No matter how many way I try to “change/improve” the outside I’m still lacking the confidence.. well hello AMANDA, the change needs to be made on the INSIDE! Why hadn’t I already thought of that? Romans 12:2 is a good reminder for me of this.
I just wanted to share a few of the answers I feel God gave me to the questions at the end of Chapter 1. Hopefully they will speak to some of you as they did to me.
Question 6 – Describing “a woman with a confident heart.”
One who hears God’s voice, understands it, and follows what it says. A woman who is only concerned about what God thinks about her, and unconcerned with the opinions of others. One whose faith and confidence in God allows her to do what God has called her to do for His kingdom, in His power ALONE.
Question 7 – The promise and encouragement of Jeremiah 17:7 and how to “live in the power of of this promise.”
Those who trust God ARE blessed (not will be) and have their confidence in Him ALONE (not in ourselves)
I will not listen or believe when someone tells me I’m weird or different – God made me that way to do something spectacular for Him that no one else could do – He made me uniquely special so I could offer my one-of-a-kind talents for His use and purpose
This study seems as though it was written just for me. It had to have been God that led me to Bible Gateway, to wanting to receive daily email devotionals (which I’ve never done before), to the women’s daily devotional (which normally I would never have done), to reading the exact devotional that spoke to me so directly that I followed the link to this study at the end of it, to having received giftcards for Christmas to Barnes and Noble so I could afford the book, to Barnes and Noble having what appeared to be just one left in stock…..
God is truly amazing! He is going to do great and astounding things in the lives of the women who love Him, follow Him, and live confidently in His promises!
I John 3:19-20, Isaiah 49:23
Thank you so much for bringing this study group forward. After reading chapter 1 and answering the reflection and discussion questions, I was forced to take a real look and think back on where my self doubt originated. I had to admit that my insecurities went back to my childhood. My first memory was the day that my older siblings came home from a visit with their father and his family. Being the only child that had a different and absent father from the other siblings and often teased for it, made me feel that I was alone. As I started reading the first page of A Confident Heart, I felt that the Lord has guided me to this group at this time in my life. He knew that I would makeup all kinds of excuses if it had been any time other than this time in my life. For over 17 years my excuse has alway been “my children need this time, so I’ll do it when they are older”. By sons are 23 and 17. There are NO MORE EXCUSES!
One way I can practice hearing God’s voice is to stop and consider the thoughts that come to my mind. Rather than brushing them aside and moving on with my day, I need to ponder them and see if they may be the Holy Spirit prompting me. There have been many times that I had a thought, but dismissed it only to find out later that it was the Lord trying to help me. If I had recognized that it was information from God instead of just a random thought, I would have saved myslef some trouble. I want so much to become more sensitive to the Spirit of God. The Bible teaches us to pray without ceasing. The only way to do that is to have constant open communication with God. It’s like realizing He’s right beside us all the time. Anytime He needs to speak to me, I’m right there and He can turn to me and speak, and I will turn and listen. If I need to speak to Him, the same is true. When He hears my voice, He will turn to me and listen. Wow! What an awesome privilege we have – an open ear from the God of all creation. I want to always have an open ear for Him as well. Praise God for His patience with us as we learn how to hear him more clearly!
“The unknown is too scary. Although you’ve been miserable, at least the misery is famiilar where you are now.” (p. 21) I remember sharing something like this with a counselor about 4 years ago. Although I have moved closer to God’s Truth since then and He’s continued to do a work in my heart, this statement still resonates to a part of me…..a part bigger than I’d like to admit. Thank you, Renee, for being obedient to Christ.
I am so happy, excited, and joyed to be a part of this online study! I do not have any friends who share the same faith for God as I do, and this is exactly what I need. I look forward to reading, talking, and learning with everyone. God Bless!
“The unknown is too scary. Although you’ve been miserable, at least the misery is familiar where you are now.” What a powerful sentence for me! I must work to trust God’s plan for my life, even when it is scary, even when doubt tells me I’m not able.
This is exactly what jumped out at me! It may be painful, but I am “comfortable” here. The doubt allows me to believe that this is what it is going to be like no matter what.
When I am outside my shadow is often with me. I just can’t seem to get rid of it. My shadow is either behind me or in front of me, or off to one side. My shadow reminds me of how distorted my thoughts about myself and my emotions can often become as they remain glued to me, much like my shadow. I become entangled within my own distortions and my own negative mindsets. My shadow needs to be dis – entangled from me. Then I can become free to allow my thoughts to lean toward my Savior, the lover of my soul. All those old distortions and negative mindsets need to be released from me, so I can be set free. My shadow is there to remind me, to help me become more aware of my old mindsets. With the help of Jesus Christ, He can help heal my mindsets, help me to release some of my hopeless dependence upon myself, and turn my eyes to Jesus. 2Cor 4:18 “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal .” Our shadow is what we can see, but Jesus is the unseen ( in the physical world. ) So, my confidence can grow when I fix my eyes on Jesus, instead of all of my old quirks, old mindsets, and fear and doubts. Dis – entangle yourself with the help of Jesus, only He can set you free. John 8:36 “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” Confidence comes when we have freedom to have Jesus with us and walk with us daily. Now begin your shadow walk today, and know that Jesus is hiding inside all of your shadows, as you journey this life together ! Now , go for it !
“Doubt keeps us from believing things will get better. Doubt convinces us that it is not worth the effort.”- This is exactly how I feel right now in my life. I know my confidence is low and it is because I am not seeing myself through God’s eyes but seeing myself through the world’s eyes. I love and want to claim Hebrews 10:35-36 and grow through this study.
The Lord showed me Hebrews 10 v v 35-36 a year ago, at the time all seemed okay and I was working in God’s Will for my life.Then my world fell apart and my husband of 32 years became ill. I asked the Lord for a word to help me understand, he kept bringing one word back to my mind TRUST. Then in September my beloved passed away. The Lord took me back to Hebrews 10. since then I have been reading the Word with purpose and looking at many on line studies and when the Lord directed me to ‘A Confident Heart’ imagine my delight when the opening Word was – Heb 10 v v 35-36. I believe God was saying to me – ‘remember what you were doing before and continue, it is my Will for your life’.
Even though I am in the midst of great grief I know God still has the same plan for my life, He doesn’t make mistakes or change His mind. Even though the world tries to change our minds, we will trust Him. All the scriptures are so relevant and have been prayed over me during recent times. May the Lord Bless you Renee and the people joining you in the study. xx
Doubt and hope can’t live in our hearts at the same time. That my doubt and insecurity is paralyzing me and basically putting me in a viscious circle that is pulling me away fom God and others. Going through this first chapter so far has been eye-opening. I never really saw just how much doubt was in my life and how much of it I was trying to cover up so others didn’t notice and that by doing that instead of seeking God, I am just making myself miserable.
We are all gathered here to try to silence the whispers of doubt in our lives. All of us! Look how many! We are a community of believers, united in pursuit of the King of Kings and His touch in our hearts. I was struck by the statement that ” When we pray God’s words out loud and HEAR them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our hearts and writes them in our thoughts.” (emphasis mine)…. so, all WE have to do is CHOOSE to pray His Words aloud, and trust the Holy Spirit to do the reminding.
Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time!!! What a revelation! As I walked through the worst storm in my entire life, a child going through deep depression and watching them believe the lies of the devil that their life is not worth living,I spent every single day for 8months speaking, reading,reciting Gods Word. Longing to stand on His promises and wondering WHY I HAD NO PEACE?? Because I had that doubt ,as I looked at that huge lingering shadow over my child and my heart battled daily for HOPE! I spoke it to my child, but God knows I struggled with believing it myself. All I could say every day was I TRUST YOU LORD! Through the strength that only our God can give, my child is healthy , healed and whole!! My heart is full of HOPE. And I will proclaim it in thanksgiving with every breath I have left! To God alone be the GLORY! Thank you Lord for my heart of HOPE! My tears have turned from sorrow to joy! That my sweet sisters is God.
“NO PERSON, possession, profession, or position can ever fill the cup of a wounded, insecure heart– not my heart, nor your heart. It’s an emptiness only God can fill.”
The statement that grabbed my heart the most was actually in the foreword. Thank you, Lysa. I was moved to tears by this reminder. For so long my thoughts have been, “If only I had a baby, I would be happy.” God is reminding me that only He can FILL to overflowing that emptiness in me. I’m going to keep trusting Him and remembering that His Will is BEST, no matter what that may be! So very excited to be a part of this amazing study. I’m also thankful for the opportunity to build friendships online with dear ladies that I may never meet face to face, but we share a common desire to love the Lord and walk closer to Him. Thank you, Renee, for setting aside time for us. I needed this.
First of all, my husband and i were both raised in church all of our lives but I have lived with self doubt, low self esteem, depression, one suicide attempt for all of my adult life. I had serious issues with believing my mother actually loved me. Things that were said and done to me as a child that were very hurtful to me even though she was unaware. I held that against her for 25 yrs. I was full of anger and bitterness towards her and felt like I could never measure up to her standards. These things and Satan have all worked together to form the miserable person I am today. They have caused marital strife, distance between myself and my 2 sons and numerous other things. Two years ago I was so empty and lonely and feeling completely worthless and disappointing as a human being that I went crazy. (that’s what I call that time period) I started drinking heavily (and secretly to all but my husband) because it helped me escape those feelings if only for a while. I wanted my husband to “fix” things. To “fill” me, and that is simply not possible!! That being said, for the most part, my husband is a wonderful husband and father and is very kind and laid back. However, he is far from perfect. (who isn’t?) there were many issues in our marriage that were a result of MANY small things throughout our 18 yr marriage and he was unwilling to resolve or even admit that they were issues. I was constantly being told that the way I felt was stupid, wrong, unrealistic and was unimportant. If he didn’t think the issue was important then it wasn’t. End of story. That led to even more self doubt. It just kept coming at me from every direction and I felt powerless to stop it. I had a close friend that attempted to help but I was just too far gone. This all led to me breaking my marriage vows and I had an affair. I guess I was looking to that man to fill my needs. I don’t know. The affair lasted about 4 months, all the while I was drunk every single night of the week. My husband suspected an affair but I lied. I finally came clean after the 4 months because I just couldn’t do it anymore. It was killing me inside. I refused to talk to God because I knew He wouldn’t care just like everyone else. My husband is usually a quiet laid back kind of guy but when I told him what I had done he blew up and I sat for over 2 hours letting him scream and cuss and throw things and call me every bad thing in the book because I knew I deserved every bit of it. I was trash. I did not deserve to live. I had never been spoken to the way he did that night and when he told me he wanted a divorce and I had best not contest it because he wanted it done cheaply, I died inside. He really cared that much? He never acted like he cared about me or our marriage before?!?!? I was devastated. It was my own fault and I have never denied that. Regardless what he did or did not do, I should NEVER have done what I did. There is simply no excuse. I take full responsibility for my actions. I was so distraught that I took an entire bottle of Tylenol PM because stupidly I thought I could go to sleep and never wake up. The pain would stop. The feelings would stop, the screaming and name calling would stop. I would no longer have to feel worthless!!!! God PLEASE make it stop!!!! After an hour or so he started in on me again and I threw the empty pill bottle at him and said “here’s your cheap divorce”. Pastor was called and my husband, pastor and wife tool me to hospital where I stayed a week. Guess who stood beside me and held my hand and comforted me for being such a horrendous person. They had to lay in the floor of the ER to keep from passing out at me puking up black stuff they were pumping into me. MY MOTHER!!!!! I asked her several times. Why are u here??? She was dumbfounded. Why would I ask such a thing?? Because in my mind she loved my husband more than me and I KNEW she would choose him over me. I was there for a week. Got some much needed counseling, my parents drove an hour and a half one way to see me every single day during my 2 hr visitations. I learned a lot about my mother that week and she learned a lot about me. Now, my mother is my very best friend in the world. On the sidelines, Daddy was working on trying to get me allowed back home. I had no contact whatsoever w my husband this entire time. He allowed me to come home. We started working on our marriage and 3 months later his brother was given a death sentence. Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. 6 mo to live. Well, how do u work on a marriage when that is going on?? You don’t. That was put on hold. His brother lived almost 18 months PTL!!! So now it’s been 2 yrs since the affair. Many things have changed. One thing that hasn’t? My feeling of worthlessness and being unlovable and basically a piece of trash. My husband is an angry bitter man and never fails to remind me that it is all because of me. I have made his life a living hell for 21 yrs. the worst mistake he ever made was not divorcing me. He also has a new thought process about prayer and God. Why bother?? God will do what He wants regardless how we pray, how much we pray and everything else. Then if the prayer is not answered in the way a person was expecting them they just use the lame excuse of “it must not have been Gods will”. If Gods gonna do what He’s gonna do then we might as well just sit back and let things happen and not waste our time w prayer. He will not waver in this line of thinking regardless what is said or what scripture is quoted. He firmly believes that God wants him to divorce me because he said so in the Bible. I show him all the scripture where it says that Gods despises divorce. He says that those scriptures are talking about other reasons besides unfaithfulness. So, they don’t count. Now, in my mind??? I firmly believe that Satan is trying to destroy this entire family and he is using every weapon available to him. Mainly, the “voices” in my head telling me I’m not good enough, I’m trash and will never be anything else but trash. I also believe that it is Gods will for us to stay married. Isn’t that what all of those scriptures boil down to? God always wants a marriage to stay intact if at all possible. So, as u say in your book and as the Bible says, praying for something that is already Gods will etc…… If that is what I am to hope for and believe in, why does my marriage get worse and my husband gets even more bitter and angry as time goes by?? It is so hard to believe what the Word says and believe its Gods will when things just get worse and worse. I just don’t know how to do this!!!! I try with all my might to push away doubt and stand on Gods promises but oh my goodness, I’m so discouraged!!!!! I pray and beg God to help my husbands heart to heal, and to help me to feel better about myself even knowing the terrible thing that I did. I beg forgiveness every day from God and my husband. Will it ever come??? Will I ever feel worthy, lovable, good, clean and whole again? My friend has sat and watched all of this for years and finally told me that what I feel is NOT all in my head. There are times that she has witnessed my husband emotionally abuse and manipulate me but never said anything because she knew I wasn’t ready to hear it. I was floored! My husband always says its just me. I’m the only person to feel the way that I feel about things. All of you are proof of that not being true!!! My feelings are real and I have the right to feel them without being ridiculed for it!!! I’m sorry this is so long but I’m just beside myself. I’m pretty much at the end of my rope and about to fall into the abyss again. I am not strong enough to keep fighting. Please pray for me, I need it in the worst way. I brought all the heartache on myself by being unfaithful so I guess I’m just getting what I deserve.
I pray that God is holding you in his loving arms and lifting you out of the abyss of which you speak!! The words of a song by Francesca Batistelli com to mind right now.
“God is bigger than the times we fail, so why can we not forgive ourselves?”
God has forgiven you through Jesus Christ on the cross. Let him lead you. Open your heart and mind to hear his voice.
Blessings to you!!
Amen!
Trish,
I’m praying for you! Let all the gifts of Ephesians 1 that God gave us lavish over you.
You are a prized possession of the Most High King!!
Oh Trish, when you wonder of your worth, please remember that Jesus died for you. He loved you and thought you were so important that He didnt want to have to live without you – so He chose to die.
Would you die for something that was worthless?
what you are dealing with would be impossible for anyone to get through on their own, but you are not on your own as long as you have asked God to be with you, to help you to walk, to hold you up. Ask Him, God hears our prayers. He loves you too much to ignore you.
I dont know if you listen to much music, but listening to Laura Story’s “Blessings” has helped me through a few of my rough patches.
Im praying for you, that you understand how God feels about you. Punishing ourselves, does nothing much more than make us miserable – it doesnt help anything. Think of it, you have been punishing yourself for two years – has it brought you closer to your babies? Has your husband expressed his love more? God is the one you have to turn to and depend on to lead you through, Have you asked Him to forgive you? If so, you must believe that He has read 1 John 1:9 in the word. He has promised that he would forgive us, so believe Him, repent of your sin, then put your hand is His, and ask to trust Him where you cannot trace Him.
My heart aches for you, another song just came to me it says – please don’t give up on God – He wont give up on you.
Ever.
Trish…Renee knows my own story, very similar to yours and after reading your comment, she asked me if I would share my heart with you. Affair, suicide attempts..sister, we could write the same book. I too never thought that our marriage could survive everything, but it has but only by God’s grace. By pushing forward everyday and believing that He is capable of doing the unthinkable. One thing my husband and I do is attend Family Life’s Weekend to Remember marriage conference. It teaches us and encourages us so much in our marriage. I want to encourage you to keep reading “A Confident Heart” and most importantly your Bible. These 2 books have changed how I live life because of choosing to apply what I learn and read. Knowing that others are out there that have gone through some very dark valleys and survived only because of Jesus keeps you clinging to Him no matter what happens. I will be praying for you and if you want to chat, please let me know. Hugs, Lelia
Trish,
To begin with you are a very strong person just by sharing your story with us. I know God has put us all together here to help each other and pray for each other. I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe God is going to change your life and with prayer and God’s favor your family will be restored. God Bless
The Lord will bless you for acknowledging what you did and what you want to do with your life. Thank you for having the courage to write your story down Trish. What was the point of the cross if there is no forgiveness? Praying for you girl xx
Trish, my heart reaches out to the Father and to you at the same time. May His arms be felt around you in a tangible way. May you know just how wide and deep and long AND how powerful His love truly is.
When we are at our weakest that is when we are strong… because we get out of Gods way and He moves and works. The Father fights for you, Trish. Remember that.
Praying for you, sister!
Trish, have you read the book Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men by Lundy Bancroft? I was told I was the abusive one, overemotional, irrational, controlling, demanding, selfish, etc etc etc. A good friend (actually more than one) told me my now ex-husband was abusive. I didn’t want to believe it. I still felt it was all me – after all, that’s what he told me. We went to marriage counseling which made it worse. I took more and more responsibility onto myself. Finally I read this book (it was given to me by a friend to read) and one of the conversations from one of the abuser personalities could have been recorded in my living room. It’s been 4 years since my ex-husband left my daughters and me for a separation for reconciliation. That’s what he called it. Really he was trying to punish me. Often if I asked him to help me clean up around the house while he was playing video games, he’d tell me he’d show me what not cleaning looked like or other such examples. The bottom line was always if you think I’m not helping, I’ll show you not helping. The same was true with his leaving. I’ll show you by leaving and you’ll beg me to come back and let me do whatever I want whenever I want. However, I didn’t let him back in the house after the 3 month separation period. I grew to understand that I wasn’t mental and that I was stronger than he or I thought (with God’s help). I used to pray that our marriage would be saved. God chose to ignore that prayer and instead saved me from an unhealthy marriage. I would not have left. My little girls no longer have an abusive marriage as a model for when they are adults. I don’t know if you are being abused or not, but if a good friend has the strength to tell you what she sees, it might be worth seeking counseling and maybe reading the Bancroft book too.
I’ve struggled with being a “people-pleaser” for most of my life – getting involved in things and trying to force them to work because I felt that it would make people happy with me, make people like me, and make people respect me if I was successful at whatever that “thing” was. I’ve been struggling for some time now with finding the true purpose and direction God is calling me toward, but am finally becoming comfortable with letting go of the “people-pleasing” and truly connecting with God, my soul, my calling, and my passions.
Rom 8:28 really hits home with me – definitely going to keep coming back to that one, especially when I feel pulled in that people-pleasing direction and know I need to look back to the Light and my confidence in my calling and passion instead of saying yes to things I know aren’t right for me!
There were many hi-lited sentences in my book! I chose one however and it is usually difficult for me to choose.
“This will be a process that happens if you are willing to have honest, soul-searching conversations with God, yourself and a few people you trust-conversations about where you are, how you got there and where you really long to be.”
When I really get honest with God he always deals gently with my heart even is opening my eye to my sin. However in the past the process has seems never-ENDING!! Somedays I survey the land I have traveled with my Lord and just weep from immense gratitude and humilty and sometimes I think really God, again?? Not again? I know this is oh God and I oraise him to have the courage to even get on here and post. I can be bold and I am safe in Christ, He is my shelter.
Hebrews 10:35-36(NIV1984)
35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Would rather stay home and do something predictable rather than stretch out of my comfort zone..Watching kids, taking in other peoples Laundry????
Uncertainty creates a HUGE “shadow of doubt”
Shadow only visible when you turn away from the Light
These were the sentences and verses that resonated with me. But the one that I identified with the most was
“Opening my mouth opens my eyes”…Speaking, writing, sharing God’s word will help me understand see God better. Thank you Renee for opening your mouth, writing these words, and providing us the outlet to open our mouths online so that we may open our eyes wider as well.
Two things touched my heart 1) moving beyond believing God – to really believing Him – and on page 25 – to ACTIVELY trust God – for me – circumstances that are past difficult for the past six years and the ending of a dream – that is extremely difficult to keep actively trusting God – God’s promise – all things work together for good – God blesses those that wait on Him – so I am looking forward to moving into a Confident Heart –
look forward to learning to walk away from those shadows and dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him–to have a confident heart, gaining confidence in what I do.
What a powerful group of verses in Jeremiah. Verses 7-8 really spoke to me yesterday, but verses 5-6 are the result of putting your faith in people instead of God. Of trying to please the world instead of God, which I do a lot. I curse myself (and my family is affected) when I turn away from God to seek after the world. Such a simple truth. I am posting this on my fridge and in my car tonight. I really want to make changes. I want a renewed mind and confidence in God alone.
I struggled many years because I put my trust in man desiring man’s approval. I’ve come a long way, but I have not “arrived”, because I know I will always struggle with it. I’ve come to realize my this weakness is a reminder of my need for Him and proves His power is made strong in my weakness. Jeremiah 17:5 is kin to the Proverb I have leaned on many times: “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25.
My biggest struggle is believing God.I believe in Him and love him very much. His will for my life and my dreams do seem to match and I have a hard time believing he has a good plan for me. I keep telling myself that God’s plan is better then any plan I could come up with but some days are easier then others to believe it. I am going to give up some televison to spend more time with the Lord. I work 2 jobs and go to school and often find myself staring at the television. I want to spend more time with the love of my life, Jesus!
A few statements really stuck out for me: “Or Maybe you’ve sensed God calling you to serve Him in a way that requires steps of faith, but insecurity has you convinced that you’re not smart enough or gifted enough…The unknow is too scary.” I feel there are things that God has put on my heart but it requires steps of faith and I always here the you’re not good enough or you won’t make it voice, and then all the doubting I do I never take the steps of faith.
Also the moving beyond believing IN Him to really BELIEVING Him has been hard for me..I see little blessings and answered prayers here and there but I really want to move to were I BELIEVE all His promies and don’t have any doubt.
I’m very excited to be doing this study and for the change that is going to take place.
Have a blessed day!
i went to your blog and tried to listen to video,but my sound on my computer didnt go very high. so didnt get anything,i am sorry. looks like a very interesting bible study,one i am much neeeded for. but dont have the book either,so cant really comment on anything other then what i just said. its disappointing. oh well,
have a great study and would still like your devotionals i been getting through e-maIl.
thankyou,
in christ
judy hoff.
The statement that really stuck out for me is to stop just believing IN Him and start believing Him! I’ve believed in Him all of my life, and have read these scriptures SO many times in my life, but actually hearing the Word and believing that they will make a difference has been a stumbling block for me. I really want to TRUST that I can believe what He is saying is true!! I suffer from panic attacks so I have doubt whispering to me all of the time. I am HOPING and praying that my self confidence will grow as we continue this study!
I wanted to post the reason I bought this book and am participating in the Bible Study. There is sentence in Chapter 1 that grabbed me and made me think “wow, it’s not just me?” – that sentence is “although you’ve been miserable, at least the misery is familiar where you are now.” That thought has held me back in so many ways and has also made me think very negative thoughts about myself when I have moved forward. I am really looking forward to finding God’s peace and BELIEVING in it – this study will be wonderful! I am BLESSED to be here with this great group of women and with Renee!
I think when things are repeated, we ought to pay attention — in the Word that is. And, today, I was all over the place (as I’ve been lately actually) and needing to honestly get into God’s Word. Eventually, the idea came to start at Psalm 1. Here is a snippet:
Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked or stand around with sinners, or join mockers. But they delight in the law of the ord, meditating on it day and night.
THEY ARE LIKE TREES PLANTED ALONG THE RIVERBANK, BEARING FRUIT EACH SEASON. THEIR LEAVES NEVER WITHER, AND THEY PROSPER IN ALL THEY DO.
Just like in Jeremiah 17: 8.
I, too, have been struggling with my confidence and I do not like it one bit. It is embarrassing to me. I had improved and was EXCITED, but managed to be here…again–and worse, though I know better now Thanks to God. It is time for me to live BLESSED in my present and future and not mope over the progress I had made. We are not to be complacent–riding off of our blessings and our quests after God… of yesterday. Frustration and fiery arrows of defeat get me nowhere I have experienced, but bitter and worse off. I believe if I turn to God, humbly, and seek after Him, wholeheartedly, He will truly heal as only He can. So, I pray that I am disciplined (a recent struggle), humbled, and genuine/sincere in His Word and in this study–not just going through the motion–because we really NEED God desperately. I am tired of questioning my faith because of my struggled. I do not want to waver and let the enemy mess with my mind ever few months. I need Him. I need Him. to rescue me from this place.
Btw, Thanks for the prayers.