So excited to start this “Confident Heart” journey with you!
The first thing I want you to remember: This is YOUR journey. You’ll be reading the chapters, listening to God speak to your heart, highlighting sentences, promises and quotes you want to remember and apply. You’ll be answering reflection questions and interacting with the group.
You’ll be doing the work of believing God!
I’ll be shepherding, leading, encouraging, connecting and pacing us. I’ll be sharing my heart and more of my story…because I want you to see you are not alone and give you courage to see and share yours. I’ll be praying for you and challenging you – but you’ll only get out as much as you put in.
Today, I asked the Lord what I needed to give up – so I can give more to Him – and this study. I immediately sensed Him whispering “work.” And I knew it was Him. I love my job and I’ve been working too many late night hours after the kids go to bed. So I’m cutting back the next several weeks to consecrate more of me TO HIM and to you!
What will you cut back on to make time for Him and yourself these next several weeks? I’m really going to challenge you and give you permission to block out at least a little bit of time each day to concentrate on replacing the OLD with the NEW He has for you! Ready? Here we go:
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A Confident Heart Online Study (Day 1)
Read the Acknowledgements (I’ll explain tomorrow why I wanted you to do this).
Read Chapter 1. Please highlight verses and sentences that grab your attention or tug on your heart. What is God saying to you though this chapter? Write down what you sense God speaking to your heart in the margins of your book, or in a journal/notebook that you’ll use throughout this study.
A video message from my heart to yours is coming later tonight. I’ll post it on my website later since I’m not quite ready to post it yet. But I wanted to go ahead get this loaded so you can get started!
I’ll send an email and post on our Confident Heart Facebook page to let you know when the video is up and ready for viewing.
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GROUP CHAT: What sentences in Chapter 1 resonate with you or tug at your heart?
Click “Share Your Thoughts” below (or click here and scroll to the bottom of this post) if you’re reading this via email).
Also, please share one or two on our Confident Heart Facebook Page or on Twitter (@reneesswope) using the hashtag #AConfidentHeart.
After reading Chapter 1, I was reassured to know that I am not the only one who has doubts and fears. The fact that they whisper to me in my own voice makes it easy to feel like it is, indeed, an ingrained part of me and will therefore determine my destiny. I agree that not having a father to affirm those needs and replace feelings of inadequacy have made my adult life and thinking patterns broken. Praise God, He is my Father and the author and finisher of my faith. I don’t have to believe the lies that I tell myself, but getting to that point is going to be a journey and I am so thankful that God has given Renee this message. I can already tell that it is going to be powerful and life-changing! I was really touched by the statement that I need to move from believing in Him to believing Him. It’s amazing how taking that little preposition out reiterates our “position” and relationship with our God! Lastly, I loved the verse of scripture from Isaiah 49:23, and, upon reflection, it caused me to think about the “appointments” that God has in store for my life versus my own ideas of being appointed. If I rely on Him to appoint me, I will be fulfilling His call and be perfected and complete; on the other hand, if I follow my own will and way, I will be DISappointed. Pun intended!
So so relate to all you said! I love the appointed/disappointed analogy. =)
Thanks!
Isa 49:23 ans Jeremiah 17:7 both spoke to me because both of them mention HOPE. At times my confidence is so small that I cannot even HOPE. I am so glad to be doing this study and plan to recite those two passages along with the prayer daily, sometimes hourly, this week.
The sentence that hit me was In the shadow of doubt, insecurity paralyzes us with statements like: I can’t do this, things will never change, my life isn’t going to get better and I will never have the confidence I need. These sayings are constantly running through my head. I do like how it is interpreted into shadows to keep us from becoming who we need to be.
The sentence that hit me was In the shadow of doubt, insecurity paralyzes us with statements like: I can’t do this, things will never change, my life isn’t going to get better and I will never have the confidence I need. These sayings are constantly running through my head.
“He’s led me beyond believing in Him to really believing him by relying on the power of his words and living like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me”. The last several months I have been challenged to really believe the word of God. When I talk to others I say that the bible is either true or it is not- you either believe what it says or you don’t. You can’t pick which part you think is truth and which part you think may not be. It’s all the truth or it is all a lie. I have chose to believe it is the truth and if God said it then it can happen- no matter how big it seems to us. When he says, “nothing is impossible” he meant nothing. He speaks truth and only truth. We just have to believe it!
Thank you Renee!
🙂
pg 23 – Isaiah 49:23 “Then you will know that I am the Lord. Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”
Isn’t it amazing how little He asks of us, and how much we ask of Him??
The things that stuck out for me the most were, “Turn back toward the light”, “Self doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart”, “He led me beyond believeing in Him to really believing Him by relying on the power of his words & living like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me”. That’s big for me! I also want to learn to pray God’s Word better. Thank you so much for this book! I can’t wait to see what’s ahead!
On page 20 the first thing that caught my attention was the “What if….? I am always asking God that!
So, I would never commit to much. I grew up in a very bad family life. We were told we (my siblings & I) were good for nothing. So I have never felt good about myself or could do anything right or was good enough for anyone…even God! This chapter said everything I have been living with for my 51 years. I am a believer. I believe I am a child of God. It is hard for me to really hard for me to believe in my heart God loves me! Thanks again for this study! This is going to be hard journey, but, with the help of God my Father I can do it, right?
Yes, Audrey…“all things are posible to her who believes!” Mark 9:23
-But, I’ve found that when I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I HAVE A CONFIDENT HEART. page 24
-We will find our heart’s confidence in Christ as we learn how to rely on the power of His promises in our everyday lives.page 25
-As Gods’s girls , we need to know and believe that change IS POSSIBLE. page 23
“all things are posible to her who believes” Mark 9:23 page 23
The unknown is too scary. Althought you’ve been miserable, at least the misery is FAMILIAR where you are now. page 21
Praying God’s Promisses: every single word is beautiful to my heart. Amen
I love all these quotes!! I have found hope for change as I have dwelled in the place of God’s endless grace and all-consuming love. For the first time, I have found rest in the belief that He is enough.
My favorite part of this chapter is Renee’s vulnerability in sharing her innermost thoughts and struggles–because I can totally relate to wanting to do the safe and familiar thing instead of the thing burning inside of me that God has gifted me to do!! I look forward to stepping out in confidence…
Pg. 20, par. 5: “I questioned if I was good enough…, so I avoided some great opportunities because they brought the risk of rejection.”
This has happens to me time and time again. I end up feeling angry a myself after-the-fact and even make a pact to never let it happen again. However, when opportunity comes knocking again, I’m right back at square one, questioning my abilities and eventually passing up another great opportunity
Page 22 Listening to doubts whispers- This statement really struck me “self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart” I wrote in the margins: “pray-God change me from the inside out” this is the place where real change must take place and it must be a change that God does!
I have to agree with the prior posts. The part about the shadow really made me think about the power that we put into our doubt, and how large we make the doubt. Also the part regarding your father hit home to me in so many ways. I did not have that father either – instead it was a father who yelled and didn’t form any bond with me. I still do not have a relationship with him to this day.
I have always been severely lacking in self-confidence… those doubt whispers have taken me down so many times. I love this from chapter 1… “You can only see the shadow because you’ve turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.” That’s so true. As soon as we buy into those whispers of doubt we’ve turned away from the light. And from the power it gives us to be confident… not in ourselves, but in HIM. Such great perspective Renee.
PS Our bible study group starts your book together this Wednesday night! What great timing doing this with them and with you online!
The statement from the first chapter that really struck me was, “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the Light”. Insecurity, doubt, fear of rejection and failure have plagued me since I was a little girl. Living in this shadow of doubt has caused me to seek acceptance and my self worth in compromising relationships, perfectionism, an eating disorder, a need to control, my performance in school and now in my job, religion…all of which fill me for a time but in the end leave me feeling even more inadequate. The one experience that has really rocked my self-worth was when my 1st husband rejected me for another relationship…it was my worst fear come to reality. Now re-married with two step children I find myself frequently staring at that shadow of doubt wondering if I can be a good enough wife this time and a good enough step-mother. I have been a Christian for a long time but have never fully learned how to live in the power of the Spirit and walk daily in His Truth and Promises. I’m tired of throwing away my confidence and letting Satan’s fear paralyze me and keep me from the will of God. I am tired of living from an insecure heart…I have always desired a Bold, Confident heart. Doubt and Hope, Fear and Faith cannot live in my heart at the same time. Today, I choose to begin to think, speak, pray, live, and rely on the power and confidence of who I am in CHRIST!
The part of Chapter 1 stating……”the voices of insecurity that cast shadows of doubt over our perspective and keep us from becoming the women we want to be-the women God created us to be.” So true. I’m ready to have a confident heart and I’m looking forward to this book/online study. Thanks Renee.
I knew I needed to read this book when I heard about it. And I knew I needed to do the online study to keep me accountable and help me stay committed to seeing it through to the end. I am not sure exactly what caused my lack of confidence in myself but hoping that through this book I can get to the root of the problem so that I can heal. Something that stood out to me and tugged at my heart was in the prayer at the end of Ch. 1: “When self-doubt tells me I can’t overcome my insecurities, I will believe Your promise that all things are possible to whoever believes.” I’ve read this verse probably a hundred times and I have not yet truly believed it. But I recognize that and know that it’s something I need to work on!
Looking forward to going on this journey with you wonderful ladies!!
Doubt also robbed me.. This is so true for me whenever I think about doing something doubt will jump in and tell me in millions of ways not to do it. And then I will listen. I am so ready to put that doubt behind me and be the confident women of God I know that I can be.. Thank you for doing this study so I can read your book again and reading in a different way…
This part really hit me: “Maybe you’ve asked God to take away your insecurites & give you a more confident personality, yet you’re still waiting. Perhaps you’re good at hiding your doubts and no one but you knows the paralyzing power they have. ” This definitely describes me. I think most people would see me as a confident trusting Christian, but if they only knew! I am 55 yrs old and so tired of being this way. Thank you Lord, for sending me this Bible study. And thank you Renee
Good one, Jennifer! I can totally relate to you on this, as I feel exactly the same. God will help us through!!
Yes, He will Kelley! Thanks
Jennifer I am 56 and I know where you are coming from! We are never too old to grow in the Lord!
Yes! Thanks goodness He is there to help us all, regardless of age or anything else.
I’m only 28, but I feel this way. It’s paralyzing sometimes. I feel like i’m 90 years old and stuck. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for all of us.
Yes I am often paralyzed-mentally & spiritually. You are about the age of my daughter–I am going to pray especially for you Denee. Let’s see what God is going to do for us!!
That was the perfect description.
Page 24 “We’ll do the most important thing first: spend time digging deep into the heart and character of God so we can learn to depend on His heart toward us.” That just makes me close my eyes, grab onto hope and say “Thank you, Jesus!!” <3
Amen Sister!
To be honest, I wasn’t so sure how I was going to like this book. It’s not a book that I would typically choose to read. However, after reading the first chapter I see why God has put me in this study with you ladies. I’ve come to the realization that it is possible to be confident…in yourself…or in your abilities, etc. I believe that I am going to have a journey of digging deep to see where my confidence comes from, and learning to shift from myself over to God. I certainly need more God-confidence and less me-confidence.
That’s where I am, Sue. I have believed in my toughness, independence, intelligence, etc. even while knowing Jesus as my Savior. However, God is allowing me to fall apart in some ways so that I can shift as you said from being confident in me to being confident in Him. One benefit of this is that ‘m finding myself easier on others as He has begun this new stage with me. I am finding myself less judgmental as God allows me to crumble and be built back up. It’s amazing that 10 years as a committed believer and I still have so much of God’s true character and heart to know.
Thank you for sharing. I too want to become more God confident.
Renee, you’ve given us much to think on. So much of chapter 1 hit me. “God doesn’t want us stuck in a cycle of defeat or living in the shadows of doubt. He reminds us in Isaiah 49:23, “Then you will know that I am the LORD. Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” Yet, doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. As God’s girls, we need to know and believe that change is possible.”
I’m also doing the Made to Crave study. Much of what you say can be applied to this study, too. Thanks Renee.
I agree with most of the others on here. The image you used of the shadow of the wall just made it tangible. You hear about how doubt can make you believe things that aren’t true but having that mental picture makes it more real. I have to remember daily to turn toward the light!!!
I have also been really looking forward to participating in this study – all the way from Australia! Have been a Proverbs31 fan for a few years now. Visual images are a great tool for me, so this one is going to be an amazing help. Thanks so much Renee. I too will be remembering to turn toward the light!!
I think the words you wrote on page 18 “Over the past few years, I’ve found lasting confidence by living daily in the security of God’s promises. He’s led me beyond believing ‘in Him’ to really ‘believing Him’ by relying on the power of His words and living like they are true no matter what may fellings tell me.” really resonated with me. It is the refusing to believe the words/thoughts that I hear when I have insecurities and replacing them with God’s truth that makes all the difference in the world for me. Also, I really appreciate how you end the lessons with praying God’s Words – how very powerful! I want to line up with His plan for my life and praying His Words keeps me centered on Him.
Love the book – this is my second time through it!
Kathy
When I got Renee’s email this summer announcing her book I heard God saying to me very loudly “you need to read this book”. At the time I was looking for a teaching position because my youngest was entering kindergarten and it was time for me to go back to work. I love teaching and I love being a Mommy but I was being a Mommy for the past 7 years and was doubting my ability as a teacher. I did get a job and I am loving being back in the classroom. When I saw you were doing a bible study on the book I was excited once again because with work and family I have not had time for a bible study and a regular time with God. I am looking forward to this time with you and a book I adore.
Chapter 1 spoke to me but something that stuck with me was self doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and I think it even blocks our relationship with him. It can also hinder us from living with a confident heart. God believes in us and what we can do. We need to believe in him and ourself to have that confident heart. We need to hand over our doubts about ourselves so we can change from the inside out as stated in the book.
As a fairly new believer I have more doubts about myself now than I did before. My doubts stem from watching other Christian women and comparing myself to them. I can’t pray as well; don’t know the bible as well. These insecurities have stopped me from witnessing. Doubt is constantly with me, will I ever be a good Christian? Reading the first chapter of this book, has started me on a road of confidence with the knowledge that God chose me. He has a plan for me.
This is one of my great struggles as well. You are right though, God has a plan for you, and me and He can use us right where we’re at. We just have to keep in touch with Him.
Barbara-I go back and forth with these feelings too. I pray from my heart and would love that confidence of leading prayer but I think I’ve come to realize my strength isn’t necessarily to be a speaker, praying out loud or teaching what I learn from the bible but living it and being an example. I’m sure Gods plans are much bigger for me as I’m sure they are for you!
“See, I am doing a new thing” Isa 43:19. This spoke to me as a fairly new Christian also. We all have to start somewhere and it is our own journey. I look for the new things that God wants me to know each day and it is so exciting. Each morning I ask,,,,,what does God have for me today. What miracle is He revealing to me today!! I do sometimes struggle with the confidence around more mature Christians but know that my confidence is in Him. And someday, when God is ready, I will be able to nurture a new Christian myself.: )
Always remember: There is no wrong way to pray and the Bible takes time to know. Just like learning anything else – how to type properly on a keyboard, learning a new language. It takes time and effort. Be thankful God has allowed us to realize how important it is. It is a blessing to have been given God’s grace – to be where we are today, even if this Bible Study is the first thing you have done as a Christian!! Baby steps is where we all start.
I was part of another Bible study and one of the members talked about how she could read the same verse she read a year ago and how different the meaning was. God is always translating his word to you in His time.
The part in the forward about not having the daddy to swing me around and tell me how beautiful and special I am really hit home for me. That hurt not only because I didn’t have it growing up, but because my girls didn’t have it either. I now know better than to try to fill it the wrong way, but I find myself simply changing what I try to fill the hole with. As a new Christian 10 years ago, I quickly gave up some “obvious” wrong ways, but God is revealing some “not so obvious” wrong ways that I am still using to try to fill the void that is only meant for Him. God is really speaking to me through Romans 12:2 and Jeremiah 17:7-8 today. I want to confess that I am struggling to believe that God really wants happiness for me. Isn’t that awful? I don’t feel that I deserve it, so surely God won’t bless with me with the desires of my heart like time for my family, a job I enjoy, a thriving ministry. I am staring into the shadow instead of into His love.
The same part of the forward about Daddy swinging you around and telling you how special you are also hit home with me. I also did not have a Daddy to tell me how special I was. Instead I was told I was good for nothing, as sad as that is, I know now that my father also was told the same thing and he wasn’t able to say how special I was to him. I have learned to keep my eyes on Jesus, and through forgiving my father I do not look at that shadow any longer. Yet, I seem to hear those words echoed each day and it erodes my confidence and hope for my future. I am prayerfully asking for the Lord to heal those painful memories and show me how special I am to Him.
Thank you Renee for writing this wonderful book, and sharing your blessings with us.
Amen! I didnt realize until several months ago that we relate our relationships with our father (or husband or both) to our relationship with God. It skews our perception. For me, I realized that my perfectionist, over-achieving and beat myself up for not doing “good enough” came from those two relationships. (For example, getting the B instead of the A or getting an A- instead of a A+, or picking up dinner and having it thrown across the counter at you because mayo is on it because you forgot to check it before you left the restaurant) I was and still do to some extent try to make myself lovable to God.
I felt I needed to share this: Romans 12:2 (NIV)
“Do not change yourselves to be like the people of this world, but be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect.”
We all are who we are and we are loved this way! We need the confident heart to help us realize this when dinner is being thrown across the counter at us, instead of receiving a Thank You. May God give us the strength to say a prayer for the one who acts in anger, instead of reacting to them. We can’t change them, but God can. Say the prayer and trust God is at work!
Sherry,
I can relate. A good friend once told me, “God gave us free will and the choice to choose whether or not to believe in Him and accept the gift of Christ. Likewise, He does not want us to be in a relationship where we have no free will, a relationship of abuse and power and control dominating over us.” That advice helped me accept that abuse is a deal breaker and to start to have the confidence that God wants more for me and for my daughters.
I really enjoyed reading Chapter 1 and going back to the Word of God. I believe in my spirit God is already blessing us and making changes deep down in our hearts and souls.
What stood out to me was “God declares things can change!” and the scriptures that followed. It reminds me that not only does God promise us good things, He also delivers on those promises! They’re not just empty words.
After reading the 1st sentence in the forward, I wrote in my notebook that I grew up with a loving family, yet still struggled with insecurity. Part of that was because I’m an introvert, but then I read these sentences from the book: “Why do we look to things of this world to give us security, self-confidence, and fulfillment? I think it’s because the message that worldly things can fulfill us is all around us.” Bingo! Not only do we look to the world for fulfillment, but the world gives us a “perfect” image of what we should be: thin, tan, fun, funny, gorgeous, well-dressed, and on and on and on.
Totally agree with you 🙂
Totally agree. Instead of looking to see ourselves as God sees us, we look to see how the world sees us.
This was the verse that hit home for me too. I have always been one to care what others think or think. I am also a pleaser and want to make sure I don’t upset others. This leads me to doubting myself and carrying “shadows.”
So many times, too, it’s not the world telling us we aren’t good enough, but us thinking it’s the world telling us. It is, in fact, our doubt in ourselves that beats us up more than anything. If we can truly believe how loved we are by our God and how accepted we are by Him; If we can love ourselves and accept ourselves this way, that weight of the world truly lightens up. MOST of this “world” we refer to is just like us, the same insecurities and the same doubts and the same needs. May you all truly feel this love and acceptance.
That is so true, yet it is difficult for us to not live by those standards. I am trying daily to live by God’s standard and not the world’s standards and expectations.
Oh girlfriends!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love reading them and seeing how God is speaking to each of you and overlapping our lives. Keep on sharing. You mean the world to me and to Jesus. I”m so excited we’re in this together. We’re gonna have so sweet sister bonds and memories and life stories to share throughout this journey. Gonna go bathe a baby girl and then come back with my video message for you!
Renee, I love how real you are…thank you for answering the call to be a leader and friend to those of us whom you have never even met.
Several things struck me while reading chapter 1. When you said when I choose to dwell in the assurance of whose I am and who I am in him, I have a confident heart. Knowing that god chose me and that he has a purpose for me helps me to stay confident and put my trust in him.
We need to focus on god’s will for our lives and not our own.
It is so true how we often ask God the same thing over and over. When Renee is talking about asking God, once again, to take away her doubt, hit me that I do that all the time. The amazing thing is God knows our needs before we even ask of Him. Instead of getting frustrated, He keeps on loving me despite my doubt and fears. It is my desire to get to the point where I don’t just believe in God’s Word, but REALLLY believe and live it.
The part of the chapter on Listening to Doubt’s Whisper’s really resonated with me. It is exactly where I am right now – paralyzed by insecurity! I am so glad I decided to start this study. I have always been a confident woman until the last few years and now it has all changed. I say I am a child of God but am I really giving myself to Him 100%. Thanks for giving me a safe place to regain my confidence by getting closer to my God.
I have been in and out of self-doubt for as long as I remember. I am praying God will use this book to bring me to a place of no self-doubt. A couple of things spoke to me in Chapter 1. “When I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I have a confident heart.” “Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.” and lastly, “Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time.”
Those last two you mentioned struck a chord with me as well, especially that doubt and hope cannot be in our hearts simultaneously. What a simple way to explain the link between self-doubt and depression/anxiety… we cannot grasp for hope when we are pushing it out of our hearts!
There are two sentences that stuck out to me in chapter 1; “Doubt and hope can not live in our hearts at the same time:, and “When we pray God’s will we pray God’s word”. The second of those two sentences is something that has been on my heart a lot over the past few months, I plan on praying God’s promises daily, I know that the only way to have doubt removed and hope and confidence grow is to pray His promises.
The exact two sentences stood out for me also. Loud and clear!! I need to pray God’s word and promises more. They do make my heart so much lighter. I did like the idea that when we speak them out loud and hear them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our herts and writes them in our thoughts. : )
That was profound- we cannot serve two masters and we cannot have both hope and doubt (fear) existing in our hearts. I swear the light got brighter when I read that and the shadow shrunk a little!
Oh my I feel a lot lighter from do this lesson, it made me feel better afterwards and now I know what I have to do to stop doubting myself. It shed a lot of light and I answered my questions whole heartily. I look forward for when my book arrives and I could fully read it. Thank you.
This study is coming at a good time, me leading a Bible Study and also feeling that I’m not smart enough to lead. But the Lord told me that I am smart enough, there are no special ways to lead, lead as the Lord challenges you! That is for me, I have accepted the Lord’s challenge. Isaiah 49:23 says, “Then you will know that I am the Lord. Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. PTL!
The study is coming at a good time for me too…I was abandoned by my husband a couple of years ago and am only now starting to date and am TERRIFIED…of eventually being rejected. To the point where I am nervous around this man that I really really like and am afraid I’m going to scare him off. He’s a Christian too. So Ch. 1 has helped me to realize, if God didn’t mean for us to be put together, it wouldn’t be happening…and God values me and “has plans to prosper me and not harm me”, so…I should CHILL already! I want to disarm doubt and claim hope!
Suzanne, amen! One of the things God is teaching me over the past 6 months is to trust Him to write my love story. He has the perfect plan for us both girlfriend!
At least you are dating. I have not been asked out in longer than I care to think about. I fear online dating (or no one choosing me even online). Which of course all this only adds to my insecurity and feelings of not being enough. There is so much that I need to keep out of because it is Gods business not mine. Even if this is not Mr Right there is a purpose for the relationship. I know this even the bad relationships I have been in have been learning experiences for me.
Chaper 1, p. 24 “The God of all hope is calling you out of the shadow of your doubts so you can live with a confident heart! Are you ready to let His Word change the way you think, which will determine the way you feel and eventually tranform the way you live (Romans 12:2)? I say yes, yes yes!
Liked this too.
As I read chapter1, two sentences jumped out at me. The first sentences that spoke to my heart were from the forward as the author explained how not hearing the words of love and affirmation led to adult insecurities and the second is when the Lord asked her to turn back toward the light. I can relate to the lifelong insecurities. I am anxious to discover how I can overcome my insecurities and fear so I can become the woman I was created to be.
I think my insecurities started to take root at any early age, too, since there was not a lot of praise or affection in my (pretty ordinary) family. Then I got into relationships that left me feeling less-than-cherished. I still feel like I have to prove that I “stand out” from others in order for others to value me. Which is pretty irrational, lots of women are ordinary and they have people that are just crazy about them, right? But what I’ve realized from Ch. 1 already is that the source of my insecurity comes from other people…if I would just focus on what God thinks of me, I should feel treasured, etc. So I’m challenged to learn (memorize) God’s word that deals with this, such as Rom 8:28, so that I will remember who should be the source of my feeling valued!
…source of my insecurity comes from other people…great point!! That is profound to me! Amen sister!
Those were the two statements that struck me in a very special way too. It’s great to see and understand why we got to where we are and how we are going to fix it!
I am so enjoying reading some of these blogs. It totally helps me rethink the chapter and my feelings about some of the readings. I had not thought to much about the shadow but now I am. How much I have lived in a darkness, partly of my own making. I made wrong choices for so long that even when I began walking with Christ and making right choices I doubted myself. I too need to not listen to others or to my own self talk but to trust who God wants me to be and is transforming me into. The homework was hard because I had to look over my past, yet again and I keep beating myself up. I forget to give myself credit for what God has done in my life.
I totally understand what you are saying. I too have doubted myself so much and constantly beat myself up over things I said and done and things I left unsaid and undone. I have questioned myself so much I wasn’t sure if I was distinguishling God’s will, or just hearing my own thoughts. But He has whispered to me “The battle is the Lord’s”, so now when I am fearful and doubting, I pray for the Lord to help me be still and let God fight for me.
I have not done the questions yet, but I do know that my childhood environment contributed- and I look forward to working through exactly how that has played a role, moving forward and looking at the light of hope rather than the shadow of the past.
I was surprised to realize in answering the questions how much of my daily life is plagued with doubt. How I filter the meaning and don’t accept that the scriptues actually apply to me because of the insecure child within me. I will be reminding myself with the scripture, about ‘all things are possible to her who believes,’ this week when my insecure child wants me to procrastinate by reading, wasting time on line or eating something instead of just going forward with the things I need to do in a timely manor.
I agree. Answering the questions helped me so much to see that I have been buillding on past experiences too much. I realized that I need to believe Gods promises even tho experience wants to put so much doubt in me. Thank you so much for this study. I am very excited about what God is going to do in my life!
Becki, I relate to using procrastination as a form of giving in to my self-doubt. I may have a task that needs to be completed, but if I am not confident in my ability to complete it as it should be, I avoid even trying. Sometimes it’s a conscious decision, sometimes a bit more subtle, but it definitely is motivated by an unfounded fear of failing or disappointing. This is one thing that I am hoping to gain control over through Christ and this study, as I know it will bless not only myself but those around me who will benefit from my no longer procrastinating.
I am very excited to start the bible study not only with Renee but to do it along side with my sister-n-law, Jodi. We don’t live in the same town but we vowed to keep each other going and encouraged with reading and asking questions to each other! May God bless each one reading and listening to that small still voice & grow a much more Confident Heart & Confident Lady!!
I have really been looking forward to this bible study. I really believe that my walk with the Lord depends on how much trust I place in Him and how much I believe His promisesare for me. What spoke to me the most on this first day was how you said you went beyond believing in Him to really believing Him! That is the deepest desire of my heart, to really believe Him! Thank you Renee for listening to God and leading this bible study for such a time as this!
Ever since I can remember I’ve been filled with self doubt and it’s worsening as I get older. I instantly related to your feeling fear about speaking in front of a large group… in my past I too have frequently spoken before crowds and would have done anything at the last moment in order to absent myself from doing so. I have also given up many opportunities for advancement because of self-doubt. Your study came to me right at the time in my life when I need it the most. I’m going to pray for all of us that the Lord strengthen you with your teachings and that he renews each of our minds so we are able to see ourselves as God sees us. Thank you.
I can relate to you Andrea. I have also been plagued with self-doubt most of my life. And, as with you, it is getting worse as I get older. I no longer enjoy going to places where there will be a lot of people like the mall or even shopping in a grocery store. I have been spending more time at home. I have a home based business that requires talking to people of all kinds, and even speaking in public at times. I have started not going to meetings etc. because I don’t feel like I meet the standards of the people I meet. My business is really suffering, and my family life is starting to be affected too. This study came to me at one of the lowest times in my life. I am praying everyday that I will change into a confident person with a loving heart.
I can relate totally. My self-doubt affects every relationship I have. I have a very hard time building lasting relationships. I’m praying that this study transforms me into the confident person God wants me to be.
Self doubt also is effecting every relationship that I have. I am in the process of going throuhg a divorce which only seems to magnify my insecurity. What I am finding is that the insecurity has always been there, Ive just been able to mask it with relationships in the past. I think God is calling me to depend on Him alone…but it is so hard!!! Im so excited about this book, Im praying God will use this really get ahold of my heart..
I enjoyed reading the first chapter and like everyone above, I felt convicted with your statement about turning from the shadow and facing the light. Your email really made me stop and think. You listed what you would be giving up for this study. As a working mom, I often use my job as an excuse to put aside time with my God. I know this lack of personal time has a direct effect on my confidence.
I am very excited to be part of this study! I could not wait Saturday and today for my emails about starting. I cannot wait for what God is going to reveal and change in me through this.
“I know this lack of personal time has a direct effect on my confidence.”
I have been noticing that with myself too. And it breeds a terrible cycle that feels like I can’t get out of. But that is a lie. Only Jesus can pull us out. We just have to give Him the signal to jump in the ring. Def have to presevere and sacrifice, trust and surrender to Him. Thanks for concisely stating and cinfirming one of my issues. I was challenged by Renee being led to cut back. Even in figuring that out, I saw how sad I had become. BUT NOTHING can actually satisfy but Him, so the flesh will have to skirm!
As a stay at home mom, I struggled with what I could ‘give up’ since so much of what I do feels very necessary on a daily basis. However, as I look at my day, I know that when my kids both sleep at the same time (which doesn’t happen every day, so it’s a treat) I tend to want ‘me time’ and invariably go to magazines or a tv show. I need to set that time aside for time with God, time to look to the light and be renewed in my spirit to face the challenges of the day.
Lydia, I will be praying for you as you are obedient to Him in setting this special time aside for more of HIs presence. I will also pray that your children will spend more time sleeping at the same time in the coming days and weeks! Blessings to you…
The words have to be more than words, but a knowledge of the Living God behind the words. It is the only way they are believable. Take up the cross and follow me. It’s the follow me that is so difficult as we get caught up in the daily grind of “living”. But is the “living” worth it? No, we certainly cannot rely upon ourselves, the confidence, the peace, the joy only comes through Christ. Come fill me Lord Jesus, increase my trust, so that I might be filled with your confidence and be your mighty servant.
Amen.
So true!
I’m so excited about doing this Bible study again. I did it online with Melissa Taylor this fall and I had done it on my own before that! I feel like I’ve grown so much but still have such a long way to go. I think the thing that’s really jumping out at me this time is how limiting and destructive self-doubt can be. When I trust in God without question I am so strong and sure of myself. But it doesn’t take long for the hiss of the serpent to arrive and make me begin to question the things I thought I was so sure of. So for the third time I’m going to strengthen my self-confidence through the power of God’s Word and this wonderful study and community. I pray that we will all be blessed with God’s love and truth.
Sandee, I also did the Confident Heart with Melissa. I loved it. I learned a lot and have felt like I have made a lot of progress. I am looking forwarded to reading the book again and to going through the study. Proverbs 31 has been such a blessing to me.
I am ready to let God’s word change the way I think, which will determine the way I feel, and eventually transform the way I live! (Romans 12:2) Thank you for this powerful reminder!
Me too!! So glad you are reading and studying with us!! God’s going to do a new thing in each of us!! Believing Him big for each of yoU!
Me too. I am looking forward to experiencing how I think will lead to a new way to feel and live.
I’ve heard the phrase “shadow of doubt” a million times, of course, but when you compared it to your actual shadow on the wall and how it distorts things, something clicked! “Just like my shadow on the wall was distorting my shape, my doubt was distorting my thoughts and overpowering my emotions with confusion and questions.” Simple but powerful. Thank you for this revelation!
I really like your comment about the “shadow of a doubt”. Living with confidence will not happen if I continue to let that shadow of a doubt whisper that God doesn’t care about my problems or that I will never find peace of mind. I struggle with doubts every day and am praying for God’s help to chase them all away!
“shadow of a doubt” really clicked. I have doubted myself all my life, and that big shadow hanging over me brings on alot of negativity and very little confidence in myself as a new christian I am learning to live with more confidence even starting a new job. People dont always realize that I have so little confidence in myself because I hide it by joking or avoid new things, but as I start bringing Christ into my life I have noticed change in my life and a new outlook in all that follows
Shelly,
I really identified with your comment about “a shadow of a doubt” also! The doubts i replay in my mind over and over again, distort the reality of God’s grace and love for us.
That shadow in my bathroom and what God taught me through it completely changed my life because it equipped me to deal with my doubts through by turning towards Jesus in dependence on HIS truth instead of my doubts. So glad it spoke to you!
When God whispered to your heat: You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light. That hit me. I need to turn to the light and learn to trust God more and then I will find the self confidence I used to have.
This is the exact comment that struck me in chapter 1. To realize that we really are only in the shadow because we’ve turned away from the Light has a whole new meaning in my life now.
This also meant oodles to me because the Lord reminded me that bigger than any shadow that He is bigger than any shadow that is cast.
That struck me, too. I’m sometimes (too often!) paralyzed by the shadows around me or the ones I imagine coming ahead, and instead, I should be turned toward God, the Light, so I won’t fear the shadows.
“You can only see that shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.” A good friend of mine once told me that God often whispers to us. Sometimes I want God to scream at me so I can be confident that I’ve heard him. I am learning that God does not need to scream when his light can illuminate the world.
I’ve written here before saying what a great book study God has found for me! I have read a lot of comments. It is so good to know there are women out there who go through the same stuff I go through. Now I’m totally blind. I’ve mentioned before. i have a computer with a speech program and with the proper keystrokes commands that I do, I’m able to do a lot. the only thing i noticed the chapters are p.d.f. files and my computer only reads word files, however, I’ve still been able to be really involved in this. I’m getting the e-mails every week. I’m hearing the videos. Now something interesting I found out Yesterday, I decided to sign up for the seven day doubt diet and I have found the chapters are read. so this is great. I can now read the chapters. Now being blind. I go through a lot of self doubt and hearing negative voices say I can’t do things and believing the negative voices. I pray a lot and God is really helping me every day. and He was so good to find this book study for me! Renee I love what you say at the top of your web site leading women to live confidently in christ! I love that! i want to live confidently in christ! I’ve never done a book study like this beofe and I’m excited! and I’m glad I can read the book and I’m getting it in my e-mail for free! I’m on a limited pension and I live on my own, so, it’s hard to pay for things! i thank god for you renee every day! thank you! and I’m looking forward to connecnting with you all and hope to make some friends. I don’t have a lot of Christian friends I do have negative people in my life and it’s really heard to deal with I have a mother who every time I tell her about something I want to try, she always starts off her sentences with you can’t do that, but you know, Satan uses other people to make us doubt ourselves. so, like a lot of you, i have quite a battle a lot of times, but God is Good amen!
The statment turn back to the light was huge for me. When the fear of _____ gets to be to much and I doubt my actions I have to remeber it is just a shadow. To give my full attention to God and allow him to remove the shadow…
I agree… that really hit me to. I sometimes don’t realize how much I am letting doubt be a shadow and keeping me from the truth of His light! This was a good eye opener that I need to be more aware of that.
Exactly the quote that hit me as well when I was reading this chapter. I am tired of living in the shadows of my own doubt. Ready to live in the light.
I agree as well that was a big eye opener for me as well…I’m excited about looking toward the light and never looking back. 🙂
Great reminder to lean into Him instead of away from him in times of doubt.
This statement goes to the very heart of the issue- I know that for myself, the times when I have not been making time with God a priority in my life is when I struggle the most with self-doubts. So, not only does doubt push out hope, but keeping steeped in God’s Word can push away doubts… I am looking forward to meditating on scriptures I can use to fight against the self-defeatist thought patterns that are a daily struggle.
This is exactly what hit me the most as well. I find myself doubting God and I need to remember he is why I am here. He knows what is best for me, my life, my family, ect. Just follow his lead.