WHOOPS! The link from today’s devotion (April 23rd) was supposed to go to my home page where I have a list of God’s promises for you! Click here if you’d like to read them.
This post is from my devotion March 26th about finding God’s perspective and purpose as a parent. In it, I shared my story of becoming a gold-mining mom and promised to list here some practical ways to connect spiritually with our kids. This is another way I learned to experience and give God’s love to my kids.
I used to think that if I just read my kids the Bible they’d sit still during family devotions and then wake up the next day wanting to be sweet little children who obey God’s Word. Not so. Didn’t happen. And I thought I was doing something wrong.
But what I discovered is that children don’t want to just read about God’s truths – they want to see us live them. They don’t just want to be told a bunch of rules, they want following God to be an adventure. And it can be!
So, how can we make spiritual connections with our kids?
Heart Connections
First we’ve got to invest in positive heart connections . Although children need discipline and correction, the main thing they need is love communicated through the power of encouragement and time spent together! Why? Because spiritual truths can’t get down into the soil of a heart that’s been hardened by criticism and constant correction.
Now I realize encouragement is hard to offer when it’s not what you grew up with. But if that’s the case, this is our chance to choose to be what we wished we’d had! Your grandchildren will thank you for it!
Spiritual Connections
God challenged me ten years ago to start looking for ways to catch my kids doing the right things instead of always correcting what they did wrong. He also showed me some positive ways to teach my kids about His character. I realized pretty quickly that it would be more affective if I used the “we” approach instead of a “you” approach. So, instead of saying,”You need to learn to be patient,” I’d say, “We need to learn to be more patient, let’s practice together.”
Be Patient
Wait without complaining.
·Ask for something and then wait without asking again.
·Be patient with yourself when you don’t know how to do something.
·Don’t interrupt. Wait for your turn to talk.
·Have each family member wait to buy something they really want. See if the desire goes away.
Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2b
At meal times, bedtime, play time or while running errands, you can talk to your kids about what God says about patience and practical ways you showed patience that day. You can also incorporate the verse in prayers for your family and others:
“God, please help us to be patient and bear with one another in love. Give us Your patience when we get frustrated or want to complain because something isn’t happening how or when we want it to.”
Rewards and Blessings
When we see our kids being patient or demonstrating any golden action or attitude we can also set up a system of rewards so they learn that following God brings blessings. As I mentioned in my devotion, we created gold nuggets when our kids were younger so they could save and redeem them for special treats or family activities.
Now that they’re a tween and teen we reward them with other blessings like staying up later, cooking their favorite meal, renting the movie of their choice, etc. Whatever you choose, this is a positive way to teach our kids that God rewards those who seek and follow Him!
Passing on Our Faith
Kids want to see us live our faith, not just talk about our faith. As you read Bible stories with your kids or on your own, be sure to look for examples of people who showed good or bad character. Challenge yourself to apply what you’re reading. Then take time to tell your kids how you are living it out, and use it as an opportunity to remind them that God really can make a difference in our daily lives.
These become powerful and memorable moments when we teach our kids spiritual truths that God is teaching us. And that’s just what God tells us to do in Deuteronomy 6:5-7. I used to think it was so hard to connect spiritually with my kids but now I see that it’s not – it’s just takes me getting intentional about doing life together while keeping God’s perspective and purpose in mind!
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Thank you so much for your thoughts. God is so good in placing something in our lives just when we need to hear it. I am a mother of 3 wonderful children, my youngest step daughter and I are so much alike that we go at each other more than I would like. My husband and I were talking just yesterday on how we want to change their hearts not just their actions. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
Renee, This is perfect. I speak to moms of teens and many times they begin to share heartbreaking stories of teens walking away from faith, or beginning to make destructive life choices. “What do I do?” they ask. My answer usually surprises them, when I share that their faith in God is the most critical part of ministering to their teen during those times. Their teens hear a thousand messages, and our instinct is to add one more message (lecture, worry, angst, anger) to the pile. But that’s the time to turn to God and trust Him more than ever. That’s the time that you find joy where there is none. Where you find peace where peace does not exist. And that is the message that your teen will see and hear most clearly. Maybe not at the moment, and maybe they’ll buck against the reasonable consequences and love you exhibit during that time, but there will come a time that they realize God is true. And your love for God will be that pathway. Love, love what you had to say. Thanks for linking my book, friend. You are awesome.
What a great reminder! Thanks for sharing. I really needed to hear this again.
In our family, I’ve made a set of keys with tags based upon onceuponafamily.net’s keys where each key represents a character trait, like patience, kindness, etc. 18 total for us. When we catch our kids exemplfying one of these traits, the tablecloth and candles are set for dinner. The anticipation of finding out who earned the key is exciting when they see the tablecloth. At dinner the key is presented and the story that led up to the key is shared. Our kids then hang it in their bedrooms on a special hook as a reminder of what they have accomplished. The event also is recorded in a family family trait journal. The kids LOVE it! They constantly ask if they have earned a key.
Hi Renee!! I just recently became a single mom to my four children (ages 9 mo- 9 years). The pressure to keep things running perfectly at home and at my full-time job as a church secretary has become overwhelming. I’ve become way too focused on the dirt and haven’t taken the time to look for the gold. I’ve been expecting perfection from myself and from my kids and I’ve not given us any wiggle room to just breathe. Thanks for your awesome devotion! I loved the idea you shared too about making little gold nuggets as part of a reward system. I think I’m going to do that with my kids and even let them give me a golden nugget when they see me displaying a golden behavior or attitude. (And when I save up enough nuggets, YES, I’m going to treat myself to a massage or a new pair of shoes!)I want my kids to know that even moms are still works in progress and that God never gives up on us… so as a family, we’re never going to give up on each other. OK… better stop typing before I start crying. Thanks Renee! God bless!
Thanks for sharing, Renee. I think it’s also important to remember that we sometimes model the negative character traits. If we lead out as a parent in modeling those positive character traits, our kids will catch on!!
Hi Renee!
Loved your devotional today. I’m raising a grandson and can’t wait to mine gold with him. I think I will have him look for my gold too. Thanks for the great ideas.
Love in Christ,
Dana
Thanks for the great devotion. I too tend to spend more time looking for dirt than gold.
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Thanks for writing this Renee! I have been going through a period of frustration with my 5 year old and I am glad for the switch in mindset – to look for his gold and not focus on the dirt! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
In Him,
Jill
I am getting ready to start a mom’s ministry to help mom’s learn how to raise their children in the way they should go. I don’t have any great teaching in this and will be learning right along with all the other mom’s. I think your words today could be something we could use for this ministry.
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Thanks Renee for reminding me that I can be an encourager to my children even if it was not what I grew up with, that the pattern can stop here with God’s Grace. Today I choose to be mining for gold. I love how God challenged you to look for ways to catch our kids doing things right instead of always correcting them. How I needed to hear that today. I’ve heard it said that the mom sets the tone for the home but lately I haven’t been seeking God to help me set a tone of joy in our home for Him so that they may know Him in the midst of our circumstances. Thank you so much for sharing and allowing God to use you to help me get my thinking back on track.
Thanks for sharing that story Renee’. It seems lately that discouragement is where I am stuck. I will start mining today. ( BTW, I don’t think my guys will get too excited about gold nuggets, but Chuck E Cheese tokens are gold!)
Thank you for your encouragement. I’m going to spend more time looking for gold than for dirt today. God bless you!
Maria Rodrigues
Hi Renee!
Thank you for your devotional today! I needed it after yesterday. I found more dirt than gold, but honestly I wasn’t looking too hard for gold. I will from now on. I have also decided that it is too important for my children to get encouragement from me and feel loved so to start I am going to set aside one night a week to do family devotions and talk about our week. I want to hear my children and be able to listen to what they are telling me. My family is everything to me next to God and I want them to have all I didn’t. Thank you and God Bless.
Thanks Renee! I have been praying for ways to help my 3 boys learn and practice Biblical truths.
I’ve recently heard that a boy is a noise with dirt on it…there must be gold under all that dirt as well, and I will mine even harder for it now!
It is so easy to focus on the correction part of parenting. Thanks so much for reminding me to focus on the positive and that TIME is the most important part. This is an area I really struggle with as a busy working, homeshooling mom of 4 younger kids!
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a good word…so great to know there are not only hidden treasures in the word, but in people, if we will just look for them, and polish them, and “not grow weary in doing good”.
Great! Thanks for sharing!
Good Morning Renee,
Thank you for your continuous encouragement! I will be making tin foil gold nuggets today. Our 3 small girls will be so excited to know what they are for. I love watching them learn and grow in God’s grace.
Tammy
Your devotional spoke to my heart as well. Thank you for giving such practical and ‘doable’ ideas for implementing the gold-mining. My heart was encouraged recently when my 5 year old went over to his Grandma after eating supper at her house and thanked her for the wonderful meal–completely on his own initiative. When the days get long, I try to remember those moments!
Thank you for sharing a wonderful devotion. I’m going to spend more time looking for gold than for dirt today with everyone in my life…and that includes my kids (and myself)! God bless you!
Ok, Renee, I am so excited!! Your devo this morning really spoke to my heart…..REALLY!!!!
I am excited about preparing my “story” and then doing my best to share it on youtube….YIKES! How funny!
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Love you, Tammy Nischan