“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)
Christmas was only days away and we still didn’t have a tree. Living on a college-student’s budget with our first baby on the way, we were scraping by and couldn’t bring ourselves to spend $25-50 on something we didn’t need. It seemed kind of trivial when I told God how sad I felt that we couldn’t afford a Christmas tree. Then I felt guilty knowing there were others who needed so much more.
On our way home from a friend’s house the Sunday night before Christmas, my husband, J.J. and I noticed the tree lot near our apartment had marked all their trees down to $10! Grins stretched across our faces as we made plans to buy one Monday night as soon as J.J. got home from his part-time job.
The next evening we walked down each row of the tree lot looking for just the right spruce to fit in the corner of our one-bedroom apartment. Feeling sentimental and slightly maternal, I realized that picking our first Christmas tree was going to be almost as difficult as choosing our child’s name.
I took way too much time. The sun went down quickly, the tree-lot started to close and the spotlights shut down. There we were, standing in the pitch dark without a tree.
My creative and very patient husband pulled his car into the rows of trees and flashed on his high beams. Suddenly, the bright lights dispelled the darkness and standing in front of me was the most precious tree I’d ever seen. Although it had some droopy branches and a gap on one side, I pointed at it and told J.J., “That’s the one I want!”
Later that night, with my hands wrapped around a cup of hot cocoa, I sat on our couch looking at our little tree. I remembered how sad I felt earlier when the darkness made it impossible to see the trees. Yet, when the beams of light illuminated the lot, my heart filled with hope.
Etched in my mind was a picture I wouldn’t forget, a memory that drew me back to another time marked by darkness – a time when I wasn’t choosing, but needed to be chosen.
Just when it felt like all my dreams had died and my hope was gone, the Light of God’s unfailing love punctured the clouds of darkness and depression surrounding my mind. It happened on another cold winter’s eve in January 1989 while I was sitting in the balcony of a church hoping to hear something that would fill the empty places in my heart. Feeling His Spirit tugging on my heart, whispering words I longed to hear, I sensed God saying, “Renee, you are the one I want.”
He’d been trying to tell me for years, but I had allowed the wounds of my past and the words of others to convince me that no one would ever want me.
At some point, I think most of us have felt like the little Christmas tree and me. Scarred by disappointments, we wonder if anyone would ever choose us. With gaps that make us feel like candidates for rejection, we hope no one will notice our inadequacies. And like the fate of my spruce pine, it seems the only way we’ll get chosen is if all the good ones are picked first.
First Peter 2:9 reminds us that through Christ we are chosen! God sent His Son to light our darkness and fill the gaps in our hearts. Sweet friend, I pray that you will hold onto the truth that God sees you today, and He wants you to hear Him declaring with all His heart, “You are the one I want!”
Dear Lord, that spruce pine and I have a lot in common. Even with my gaps and broken branches, You chose me and made me part of Your family through Jesus. Thank You for sending Your Son to bring Light in the dark corners of my life and to bring endless hope to my heart. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Today, I’m also sharing this post on Karen Ehman’s blog as part of her 12-days of Christmas giveaways, and giving away a special gift pack that includes:
- A signed copy of my book, A Confident Heart
- A “Living in the Security of God’s Promises” – printable
- A Bath & Body Words Christmas treat
- A Starbucks gift card
To enter once, click “Share Your Thoughts” below. To enter twice, enter below and hop over to Karen’s blog to enter again.
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This story made me smile! Thank you for sharing! 🙂
Hi Renee, God always seems to find us when we feel forgotten and alone in the dark, and on standby due to our imperfections….but then He reminds us that it is about His choosing us….and that makes all the difference in our worth. I’m so glad when I hear echos of His voice that come in various ways. He choose us, He comforts us, and reminds us that we are His delight….I’m so grateful to let His truth replace the lies and appreciate your honesty too.
Artificial tree but I love the whole experience of looking for a real one at a tree farm and then the smell of them
As I nurse and cuddle my newborn each day, I read her devotionals, as well as posting from your website. Your words of encouragement have spoken truth and hope into my life for over a year now and I thank you greatly for your willingness to share your heart. I am encouraged today to remember that I AM chosen by God, something I need to be reminded of frequently. I also realized the responsibility I now have to raise my new daughter to understand the truth of a Heavenly Father that chooses her as well. Thank you!
PS your blog makes me want to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas 🙂
Thank-you for sharing this story of encouragement. It is truly so awesome to realize that you are special and loved just the way you are by our Heavenly Father .
Thank you for this, Renee! I first heard you on the radio on my way to work in the morning and just your voice was (is) so sweet and encouraging to listen to, that I decided I wanted to look up your blog and sign up for your e-mails. Now I eagerly await your e-mails in my inbox and I feel so refreshed and closer to Jesus after I read your wise words. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are a blessing!
This was perfect. An hour ago, I got off the phone with my ex-husband of 5 years (this week), having him tell me that I am still not good enough, and not doing things the right way. I have a part of my heart telling me, that he is wrong, and that I am doing the best that I can do with 3 pre teenagers, my elderly Father, and being a single head of household, working 2 part time jobs trying to keep a roof over our head…but when I get off the phone with him, I have a pain in my heart saying, your still not good enough! So, I am so thankful that I decided to clean up my email, and there you were, telling me that God does want me, that I am okay, I am worth something. I have so enjoyed your online study, and reading your emails. Last Friday, I got to hear Luann in person speak about how wonderful P 31 is. Thank you for always reaching out, when I need you Renee.
Really hit home today because recently my boyfriend/ ex husband of 8 years have ( I think) finally put an end to our ” on again off again ” relationship. We were dating then married then divorced then attempted to reconcile, and now off again. I’m have mixed emotions because I’m sad that he’s not here yet when were together I’m sad because its such a stressful relationship. I know that I’m just sad now because I feel alone, unwanted and like there is something wrong with me and I’m the only one that doesn’t see it. Reading this today reminded me that I am wanted by the greatest man that ever lived. Best of all he accepts me and all of my imperfections. Thank you for this reading.
Thank you for reminding me that I am wonderfully chosen, and remind me that everyone I meet has probably had moments when they felt unworthy but are equally loved. I treasure your writings. Thanks
Thank you for the reminder I am chosen. Reading your story reminded me that all of humanity feels the need to be “chosen” and not
I am humbled to be remind how precious it is to have a heart that God has given Light …thank you
What a great lesson, thank you so much for sharing, it is something I really needed to hear. I am going to have to keep it handy, so that I can read it when I am feeling like having a pity party!
Ellie 🙂
I love your heart and your spirit! I can’t get enough right now! Thanks for teaching me God’s truths!
Thank you so much for your thoughts, Renee. It is so wonderful to know the truth that God loves us, broken branches and all. Have a wonderful Christmas!
Such a sweet story. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks…. could use this…
Thank you for this. As we go into Christmas I wk remember this story and the fact that I and chosen not because I am perfect but despite the fact that I’m not.
Thanks for reminding me that God chose me. Been struggling with feelings of inadequacy the last couple of weeks so the reminder was much needed.
We decorated our tree this evening with only the Christmas tree lights on. We’ve started a new tradition by getting two memorial decorations, one for my father and one for my husband’s brother. Each year we will add family members who have gone on ahead of us.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragment. I too carry many scars inside and out, but Jesus loves and heals in spite of ourselves. My wish is to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment and then I will be whole.