“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)
Christmas was only days away and we still didn’t have a tree. Living on a college-student’s budget with our first baby on the way, we were scraping by and couldn’t bring ourselves to spend $25-50 on something we didn’t need. It seemed kind of trivial when I told God how sad I felt that we couldn’t afford a Christmas tree. Then I felt guilty knowing there were others who needed so much more.
On our way home from a friend’s house the Sunday night before Christmas, my husband, J.J. and I noticed the tree lot near our apartment had marked all their trees down to $10! Grins stretched across our faces as we made plans to buy one Monday night as soon as J.J. got home from his part-time job.
The next evening we walked down each row of the tree lot looking for just the right spruce to fit in the corner of our one-bedroom apartment. Feeling sentimental and slightly maternal, I realized that picking our first Christmas tree was going to be almost as difficult as choosing our child’s name.
I took way too much time. The sun went down quickly, the tree-lot started to close and the spotlights shut down. There we were, standing in the pitch dark without a tree.
My creative and very patient husband pulled his car into the rows of trees and flashed on his high beams. Suddenly, the bright lights dispelled the darkness and standing in front of me was the most precious tree I’d ever seen. Although it had some droopy branches and a gap on one side, I pointed at it and told J.J., “That’s the one I want!”
Later that night, with my hands wrapped around a cup of hot cocoa, I sat on our couch looking at our little tree. I remembered how sad I felt earlier when the darkness made it impossible to see the trees. Yet, when the beams of light illuminated the lot, my heart filled with hope.
Etched in my mind was a picture I wouldn’t forget, a memory that drew me back to another time marked by darkness – a time when I wasn’t choosing, but needed to be chosen.
Just when it felt like all my dreams had died and my hope was gone, the Light of God’s unfailing love punctured the clouds of darkness and depression surrounding my mind. It happened on another cold winter’s eve in January 1989 while I was sitting in the balcony of a church hoping to hear something that would fill the empty places in my heart. Feeling His Spirit tugging on my heart, whispering words I longed to hear, I sensed God saying, “Renee, you are the one I want.”
He’d been trying to tell me for years, but I had allowed the wounds of my past and the words of others to convince me that no one would ever want me.
At some point, I think most of us have felt like the little Christmas tree and me. Scarred by disappointments, we wonder if anyone would ever choose us. With gaps that make us feel like candidates for rejection, we hope no one will notice our inadequacies. And like the fate of my spruce pine, it seems the only way we’ll get chosen is if all the good ones are picked first.
First Peter 2:9 reminds us that through Christ we are chosen! God sent His Son to light our darkness and fill the gaps in our hearts. Sweet friend, I pray that you will hold onto the truth that God sees you today, and He wants you to hear Him declaring with all His heart, “You are the one I want!”
Dear Lord, that spruce pine and I have a lot in common. Even with my gaps and broken branches, You chose me and made me part of Your family through Jesus. Thank You for sending Your Son to bring Light in the dark corners of my life and to bring endless hope to my heart. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Today, I’m also sharing this post on Karen Ehman’s blog as part of her 12-days of Christmas giveaways, and giving away a special gift pack that includes:
- A signed copy of my book, A Confident Heart
- A “Living in the Security of God’s Promises” – printable
- A Bath & Body Words Christmas treat
- A Starbucks gift card
To enter once, click “Share Your Thoughts” below. To enter twice, enter below and hop over to Karen’s blog to enter again.
I’ve always felt a little like the unwanted, crooked Christmas tree because of low self-esteem. It really surprised me when I received an email telling me that I was being considered for a job that I had been praying for for 3 weeks. I got the job and this blessing has really strengthened my faith and hope in Jesus and I now feel more able to trust in him completely and leave the consequences to him. This is really helpful when I’m dealing with people and situations that only God can change.
I can’t tell you Renee how much your honest reflections on your own life give me so much perspective and hope for my own! I struggle with so many of the same things you did and try thank God for you. You and your different writing have become a staple in my life. Thank you for all you do and I can’t wait to one day read your book
I love reading your devotions. They always seem to be speaking to me. I am reading your book a “Confident Heart.” You have so many spiritual truths written in the book, I read some and dwell on your thoughts. I pray to my Heavenly Father. Actually your book has helped me to see God as my true Heavenly Father. My earthly father was not the type of parent God would approve of and the example he set in my life and mind has been a difficult one to overcome in seeing God as a Heavenly Father figure. The comparisons were to srastic. I am coming to know God as a Heavenly Father, a companion, a friend, a Lord and Redeemer, but I still struggle with see myself with any value. Due to a devasting event that happened within the past year, this struggle is over whelming. Your book is giving me hope, and thoughts to ponder and pray for.
I still struggle and wish I had a friend like you, with your wisdom and heart to talk with. I feel truly one with you in so many ways. Thank you for your love and true concern that comes forth from your bloggs and pages in your book. I know you do not know me but I pray for your happiness and continued support. You are a lady truly loved by God. You are blessed.
I read these beautiful comments and sayings and they are truly beautiful… Iam writing this as I sit… Watching my beautiful 3 year old sleep…so much sadness has happened to our family lately…I feel weird writing this …. Maybe I should talk to a therapist but I am compelled to talk to other women who have the same conviction I have for our Lord… I used to be upset with God when horrible things happened… And they were not necessarily in my life… But I realized that we are given a gift… To chose how to behave in his name….
My family has recently dealt with a situation that has forced us to do many things we didn’t want to ….move, deal with hefty emotional stress, change our whole way of being… I
We are blessed with good friends and never ending love with family that gets us through…. I want to bless to those in need of a friend and a helping hand… I understand how hard it is to forgive and love in such a world that condemns it….God’s love to you all
Thank you!
Thank you for your passion and heart to share and encourage and bless us all. I am blessed with every devotional.
Hi Renee,
We have never met, nor will we probably ever meet. But, as life and possibly God has challenged me in faith over a two year period, I can’t help but to feel as though you have known me this entire struggle. Better yet, maybe that is His testament of deep love to me of how intricately He can craft your words to be His words and His message to a joyfully and yet utterly broken daughter of His kingdom. It is great to be reminded that I am chosen, you are chosen, each one of us who belongs to such a marvelous King is chosen. Beautiful, isn’t it?
I feel as though A confident Heart was written for me! Though I have never met you! It seems our hearts and are connected great post!
I was brought to my knees in tears as I read this just moments ago. I recently gave my testimony for the very first time in my life at our Ladies Night of Lights at our church. I trembled and gulped as more and more women piled into the event. I begrudgingly accepted the invitation in the first place to share, but brought into a combination so many recent studies, words spoken to me, and Christ’s nudge urging me my story was just as significant to Christ Himself as anyone else’s. I am not sure if His words through me that night made a difference in anyone’s hearts…I can only pray it did…for at least one. But as I read this today, I felt as though the ink of my words had been transferred to this writing…it’s exactly what my heart professed to the room of women. It was soulful enough to write out and speak the words myself; but to hear a heart that has been on the same wave as mine…only God can do that.
I am waiting on God right now to bring forth a promise.
I would love to enter the special gift package for Christmas.
What a wonderful message for me today. Somehow the busy days start to overwhelm and those ugly feelings creep back up – even in the midst of celebrating the birth of Jesus!
thank you for always sharing your heart
kim
Many times I am in awe that despite all my short comings and quirky ways that God woyld choose me to share His love, grace and mercy with….just so humbled and in need of reminding daily of this awesome and preciuos gift that I sometimes take for granted. Thank you for sharing your words.
Dear Renee,
Your story resonated with me in a very deep way. I too have always felt rejected and not chosen, though God has been seeking me out always. I thought I had to be perfect, not only for God to love me but for a great man to choose me. Therefore, I am now healing and learning to receive “HIS” unconditional acceptance. Thank you for your wonderful book, your e-mails, your devotionals, and everything you offer to us through your ministry. Love you and appreciate your transparent and vulnerable heart.
Love, Giselle from Miami
I needed to hear this today so much! After so much rejection from my husband of 25 yrs and divorce and recently a boyfriend because I’m not like other woman and just sleep around with anyone. It was good to be reminded God wants me and loves me!!!! Thank you<3
Thank you for sharin! Praying for my loved ones to have the light of Hope shine into their hearts!
Thanks for sharing this story, it was really fitting today. He truly is the light of life!
I would like a copy of your book confident heart, I have been trying to share your website with the people I go to church with. How, much is your book? your story reminds me of my daughter she is overweight and I know she feels that way unfortunetly she does not go to church anymoreshe is going wayward but she does live with us. She is sort of lost, she has not found a boyfriend because she feels too low self esteem please pray for her. she works hard but is very lonely. ,
Thank you SO much for sharing the life lessons you have learned from our Father. A friend loaned me your book…it was such a blessing, and one day hope to have my own to re-read many times over!
Renee, I loved the story of your tree. As I think back over the years I remember trees that were almost perfect and trees that were perfectly awful, yet each of them were beautiful to us. As we would tenderly work with them adding a bulb here and there, an ribbon or two is always nice, and some artificial snow works wonders. We made each tree a lovely sight, just as our Loving Creator takes each imperfect person, who come to Him, and turns then into a saint of God. The tree can not dress itself up for Christmas and we can not dress ourselves up for the Christ of Christmas.
Heavenly Father, continue to work in our lives making us a beautiful bride, fit for our heavenly King.
I discovered this today while searching for online devotions. My heart has been touched and I look forward to reading each day. Thank you for serving God by reaching out to women.
What a powerful message. Just like that tree, he accepts us the way we are.
So glad to be one of Gods chosen, sure don’t deserve it. Glad He sees the potential.
Thank you Renee,
Your words/devotions come at just the right time for me as I struggle with the holiday season, family loss and never feeling good enough as my family always has a put down.
Blessings on your Christmas, j
So often we look for “perfection” with decorations, presents, food, etc. We need to remember, that Jesus came for the “imperfect.” We are His chosen! Thanks for the great reminder!!!
Thank you Lord for seeing me in a way I could never see myself. Thank you for loving me even though I don’t feel lovable. Thank you Lord for your unfailing love.
Our first Christmas (with my now ex-husband), we were living in Okinawa Japan. I was only 18, first time away from home. One day I went to the post office to check the mail, and there was a 4 foot box there for us. My parents had sent us a Christmas tree for our apartment. I made cross-stich ornaments and made a star out of cardboard and tin foil. It was the most beautiful tree, we ever had.
I love this story. Many of us from time to time wonder why Hindu people or people worshipping Buddha are not chosen as well but I believe that somewhere along the way these people have been given more than one opportunity to turn to the Truth which is Jesus Christ. As a chosen people, we are called to make disciples and to show others Jesus ONLY through genuinely loving others.
Thanks for sharing this…ah, yes I too have been chosen! What an awesome feeling to know that God so loves me He gave his Son for me!