O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Psalm 139: 1-3 (NIV)
Becoming the mom I always wanted to be has been a long, almost 14 year process, and there are still many days when I’m not there. Like most moms, I feel like I should do more, fuss less, listen better and be able to meet all of my kids’ needs, flitting from one task (or child) to another with a smile on my face, energy in my soul, clarity in my thoughts and Bible verses on my lips.
I can’t live up to that image of perfection but what I can do is take steps towards becoming the mom I really want to be!
One of my biggest challenges is being too busy and getting overwhelmed. When our schedule gets too full and things feel out of control, I slip into micro-management task-mode. Sometimes I lose sight of my most important calling – being a mom! I get over committed to people or projects outside of our home, and my kids start to feel like interruptions. Or I let them get over committed and our days become a blur. When the day finally ends, I lay in bed wishing I could rewind time and do things differently. Days and weeks and years pass so quickly. To be the mom I want to be, I have to capture the moments when they come.
I learned this important lesson a few years ago. One night my family was all snuggled on the couch watching a movie. We were spending quality time together but then I got distracted. I was still there physically but I started returning phone calls and emails mentally. I glanced at the clock to see how many hours before the kids went to bed and noticed the silhouette of my son’s face. He looked so grown up. How quickly ten years had passed! I thought. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he’d be counting down the hours until I go to bed, so he could hang out with his friends. Suddenly, I recognized the gift of being with the ones I love while they’re still with me.
Jesus knew His time on earth was limited and that tasks weren’t that important, in the big scheme of things. My time with my kids at home and this season of life with my husband is passing. Every time I read about Jesus’ life, I am challenged to slow down and spend more time with my family and friends. He valued people so much!!!
Reading my Bible reminds me of how important they are to me, too. Psalm 139 guards my heart from guilt because it reminds me that God made me, He understands me, and knows how easily I get tangled up in my to-do list or slip into task-mode. He’s the One who can make me more like Him. That is why take my desire and my struggle to daily, spend time in His Word and ask for His help. It’s through sweet reminders like my son’s silhouette that He helps me see my family as my greatest treasure and my time with them as my most important investment.
- I look into their faces and remember what they used to look like. That helps me grasp how quickly time flies.
- I think back to what life was like without them. That jolts my memory; making me thankful God gave them to me.
- I imagine the day they won’t be with me – the day they’ll live in another place with their own family.
- I remind myself that “to do lists” will always be here, but the ones I love won’t.
- I look for opportunities to listen, love on and lead our conversation towards a spiritual truth if the door opens – not preaching to them, but lovingly teaching God’s word in everyday moments.
What about you? Is it ever hard for you to live in the moment with your kids? What are some ways you do or could start being with the ones you love…no agendas, no errands, no planning…just being? Let’s make a pact today to slow down just a little and look for chances to be the mom we’ve always want to be!
Today’s give-away includes a copy of Finding Home by Jim Daly, President of Focus on the Family and A Woman’s Secret to a Balanced Life. To be part of the give-away, click on the words “comments” below this post. PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!
If you’d like a reminder each time I post, click on bloglines in my sidebar. We’ll be giving away gifts every day, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!
For more encouragement in slowing down to be with our kids, read a great devotion today on the P31 site by Sandy Cooper, “Her Children Arise and Call Her Busy.”
What a timely message. I want to be there for and with my children and treasure each day no matter what it brings.
Thank you for sharing today!
Caroline
thegrossmans(at)caroline(dot)rr(dot)com
Charlotte, NC
My family has been going through pictures of when the kids were little, it has really made me do some soul searching-how quickly the time has flown. I have made a pact with myself over the last few weeks to slow down, worry less, enjoy my friends and family more.
My heart is heavy on this subject.
Count me in.
In His Graces~Pamela
[email protected]
carol says; mums can make you fuilfill your dreams and be what you never thought you can be BRAVO TO ALL MOM OF THE WORLD
This is something that I struggle with so often. If my house is in disarray, then our days do not go smoothly (which is most often the case.) As a mother of four young children, I am constantly being torn between enjoying my children or encouraging them to occupy themselves so I can get some house work done. Just cooking and cleaning up the kitchen alone can take such a large chunk of time away from my children. I think sometimes pride is an issue that I need to deal with because I wonder what people think of us when they stop by and the house is a total mess. I need to remember that teaching and spending that precious time with my children is much more important than someones judgement of our untidy home. Thank you for reminding me that they won’t be little forever.
I know that most women desires to be the godly wife and mother that God designed us to be. But we lose that focus because we allow are lives to be unbalanced. What a wonderful reminder that the dishes can wait but your child needs that affirmation and attention.
[email protected]
I too relate to the women who struggle with the balance between housekeeping and time with children. It is very easy to become overwhelmed with recurring clutter and pass that stress onto my three young children. I like the word picture you used about visualizing your son’s features when he was younger and remembering that in a few short years he will be gone. My goal is to be a more relaxed, gentle, and patient mother despite the pressures of a never-ending to-do list and a husband who is patient but sometimes doesn’t understand why I can’t keep the house in better condition. I need to remind myself that I am still fearfully and wonderfully made even though I stuggle with a deep and ongoing sense of inadequacy/failure as a wife and mother.
[email protected]
Hey Renee
I totally agree with your post – I feel I was so blessed with my four children for having them but also to make me sit back and relax and not get so caught up in the small things – I realized years ago I couldnt keep up with the house and everything else = which forced me to put them first – I like to do M&M days (as my kids call them- stands for Mom and Me – or since all of my kids names start with M they insert their name) one on one – they love it – its not usually much but something or catching up with them in the car – I let them take turns sitting in front with me so we can talk – all sorts of things – I know they will be gone before I know it – Madison has already reached the stage where she looks at the clock waiting for me to leave the room so she can giggle and talk with her friends -lucky for me they all like to come here so I can still keep a watchful eye! Love Ya
Lori
Hi Renee.
I was actually gazing at my five year old son’s face today and remembering the baby face he had only several years ago. You are right that our precious loved ones are only with us for a short time. It is so easy to want to e-mail, clean, talk on the phone,etc when our children are only wanting us and our time. That is truly love! Thanks for the reminders. JD at [email protected]
What great words of wisdom. I need to replace my obsession of cleanliness and order with pure pleasure of spending time with my son. All of the sudden he is a middle schooler and I don’t know where the years have gone. What good is a clean house if I am not truly in the moment?
What a blessing you are in my day!
Mindy
[email protected]
This is something that I struggle with so often. If my house is in disarray, then our days do not go smoothly (which is most often the case.) As a mother of four young children, I am constantly being torn between enjoying my children or encouraging them to occupy themselves so I can get some house work done. Just cooking and cleaning up the kitchen alone can take such a large chunk of time away from my children. I think sometimes pride is an issue that I need to deal with because I wonder what people think of us when they stop by and the house is a total mess. I need to remember that teaching and spending that precious time with my children is much more important than someones judgement of our untidy home. Thank you for reminding me that they won’t be little forever.