Today I have a devotion on Crosswalk and at Proverbs 31 about the day I almost quit being a mom. It was a really hard day. But it really was the day I started “becoming” the mom I always wanted to be. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t become that kind of mom until I understood God’s perspective of me as His child.
When I finished writing in my journal that day, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God. Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
Zig Ziglar tells this story in his book, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, and then challenges moms and dads to look past their children’s mistakes and mine for gold in them, fully convinced that every child has gold hidden in their hearts just waiting to be discovered.
I was buried in the dirt that day. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was discouraged and so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced that God felt the same way about me. Then I started wishing I had a “gold-miner” in my life who would see beyond my mistakes and mishaps and find the gold in me. I almost inflated some black balloons and threw a little pity-party.
It was then that I sensed God whisper to my heart, “I am that Gold-miner.” He reminded me that I was the one who was being so critical of myself. I was the one who was so focused on what I didn’t do right. I felt like He whispered, “Renee, I see the gold of My image in you, and I want to bring it to the surface in your heart so that your kids could see Me in you.”
He also reminded me of stories and verses in the Bible that tell me He sees beyond who I am to who I can become. I knew this was God speaking because I didn’t think like that 10 years ago. I didn’t believe Him in an instant, either. No, it would take time for me to really let those truths sink in. But that day He used His thoughts to give me a new perspective of Him, and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to have that same perspective with my children.
As a mom, it’ so easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and mommy discouragement. That day I wondered: where is the gold in it all?
But after reading Ziglar’s challenge and hearing God challenge my heart, I thought about the difference it could make for my children to know I was intent on finding the gold within them. I wasn’t sure what the gold would look like but I figured if it was there, God could help me find it. So, I asked Him to show me and then I started writing down my thoughts. Two things came to mind – golden attitudes and golden actions.
I made a column for each and listed character traits like kindness, obedience, honesty, thankfulness, and compassion. I decided to look up Bible verses that tied in with the traits and wrote them down beside each one. Those not-so-golden traits needed to be addressed too, so I made a column for the dirt that buries the gold – anger, selfishness, whining, arguing, jealousy, pride, etc.
That night I went to bed thinking about what happened that day. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a mom. I felt like God was telling me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Finally I felt like there may be some meaning in the monotony! I had a goal and hope for some progress as a parent. Tomorrow I’ll share more. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
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Today’s Mom Give-Aways
Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD and George Barna’s “Revolutionary Parenting”. We’ll be giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!
To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post. I’d love to know how old your kids are, and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!
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Renee, God spoke to me directly through your devotion today! I have a friend whom I am witnessing to right now, so I’ve committed to sending her the Proverbs 31 devotions daily with my comments added to the email. I woke up today so discouraged and feeling like such a failure as a mother…I was wanting to “give up”. I home school both of my teenage boys and yesterday was really bad day. I felt like such a failure as a mother this morning and cried out to God for His help. Little did I know, the devotion today was meant as much for me as it was my friend. Thank you for sharing your experience with us today. I am feeling “inflated” once again. Praise God for His faithfulness!!
My son Taylor is 16 and Jordan is 14
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Renee,
I read your devotional today. Thank you I really needed this.
I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to quit. Being a single mom of 2 boys ages 14 & 7 . My youngest is on the Autism Spectrum and has ADHD as well.
Thanks!
Jeannie
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Love it! 🙂
Have a wonderful time in Houston!
Rebecca
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I don’t know how I happened to find your blog, but I sure am glad I did. I am the mom of two boys (11 and 6) and one girl (2 years old). They are a handful and I often find myself frustrated and discouraged.
I recently had to go back to work and my whole family (including my husband) is dealing with that adjustment too. Your post really reminded me that it does take time to find the gold. We all have and somehow God sees it.
Thanks for the reminder!
Cindy
Hi!
My kids are 8,6,4, and 2.
Blessings!
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I wanted to quit this morning. I was so happy to open this devotion today. I am going to write my note right now and pray for God to help me. I have four children. I know my kids have gold I’ve just haven’t been able to get past the dirt this week. Thank You Dana
Renee – Thank you. The LORD used your devotion today to remind me of where I was, where I still find myself at times and where He’s taking me. My testimony is similar to yours in that 5 years ago I spiraled into a pit of depression because I didn’t like the mom that I was. I didn’t know how to be a mom, or at least I didn’t think so because it didn’t feel right and nothing I did was right. I wanted to blame everyone that didn’t teach me the right way because all the other moms seemed to have it together but why didn’t I? I was a successful manager in corporate america and was quite used to having things under control. When God called me to be a full-time mom I didn’t even have an opportunity to update my resume for that position! I was thrown into a ‘position’ that I didn’t have control over and didn’t have a degree in or was even trained for!! I now realize that women aren’t ‘born moms’. It is a constant on-the-job training. I believe that I developed habitual strongholds. My perspective was incredibly skewed. Now, I still visit those strongholds from time to time. But I am reminded to look beyond the “right now” to the “next time” and the future and continue to build my children one day at a time – (and sometimes one hour at a time). Being a mom is tough. I am wonderfully encouraged by reading your devotion today! Again, thank you!
Much love, Dawn ([email protected])
God always knows what we need doesn’t He? The amazing thing is it is always before we realize it. He is always one step ahead of us and that is so comforting. Many times I have been so filled up with my own objectives, my own pride that I get consumed and it always leads to anger and sadness. Thank you for reminding me that focusing on the good in my children is much more rewarding. I get so caught up in the task and what I think my children should be that I forget. I forget that God has a plan for me as a mother and for all of us as his children. When I do check in with Him first my day is so much smoother. Thank you for sharing your very real story and for encouragung all mothers to seek the gold God has blessed our children with.
Dearest Renee – oh how your post this morning touched my heart and reminded me of when I, too, gave up. I became a mom on August 15, 1989 and again on June 25, 1992 – both times, a single woman. My first husband had passed away when I was pregnant with my older boy and became pregnant and delivered my second son as a single mom who was lost and separated from the Savior I had loved as a child. On January 1, 1998, after trying so desparately for many years to do on my own what I could not do without Jesus, I surrendered. I quit. I said out loud “Lord, take me out of this life or take my life. I quit. I cannot do this any more.” At that moment, Renee, our Father God took control of my life and I have not looked back. As I am learning His ways better – I do better as a parent and have been a subscriber to the P31 block for nigh on five years now. P31 has shown me how to mine for gold in my heart, in my husband’d heart and in my children’s hearts. Thank you for your transparency and for sharing with us the “gold” God has revealed to you. Yours, In Him – Andrea Austin, Glendale, Arizona
Thank you for the devotion today. I am the mother of two children. My son is 8 and my daughter is 5. I really enjoyed the story of mining for gold. I know I am guilty of focusing on the dirt and not the gold. Thank you for the challenge today!
Laurie
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Good Morning, Renee!
I have to say your devotional today was just what I needed!! Every once & a while I too want to "quit" or at least go on strike for a while from motherhood! I have 5 beautiful children, 13, 11, 6, & 5 year old twins, whom I love to bits! But sometimes, the arguing & the bickering are more than I can take!
It's lovely to know that our God cares enough about me to "stoop down to make me great"! Thank you for reminding me that I can't do it alone, but with God, I can do all things!!
Thank you for reminding me that I don't have to do this alone!!
Be blessed!
Thomi
Renee, I am so there… I need lots of help in the mom department. I have a 4 year, a 3 year, a 2 year, and a 1 year old at home with me. Thanks for your encouraging words. Aimee M my email is [email protected]. Thank you
I am not yet a mom of two but I will be in 7 months. I have a wonderful one year old, but let me tell you I swear at the breakfast table I prayed this exact prayer. Being pregnant with a super active one year old has drained me completely. I don’t feel adequate as a Mom, as a wife, as a leader in Ministry. I don’t know how moms of multiple children do it. Routine is out the door, a clean house is out the door, and my sanity certainly is out the door. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone. I have a wonderful husband, but he just doesn’t know what I mean by needing help. I guess I need to show him better. Thanks for sharing your heart, it certainly helps young mothers out here!
Thank you so much for allowing your life to be an open book of encouragement for moms like me. I have 3 boys, ages 8,6 and 2. Your post was such an inspiration to me today. I am determined to discover the gold that is under all that dirt(and believe me, with 3 boys, there’s a lot of dirt!). May the Lord bless you and your family!
Barbara
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Thank you for the devotional today!! It was wonderful and a great encouragement for me to dig for gold in my children. I have four children. Three boys ages 7, 5 and 3 and a girl who is 20 months. I keep busy but love my kids! I am a missionary in Ecuador!
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Kari
Renee, I believe this will touch many moms today. I remember a time that I sat in the floor crying with all three of my little ones. I was 24 years old, a mom to two babies (twins!) and a toddler, and I felt overwhelmed. Acknowledging that we all have those moments, and coming together to give each other a “you can do it!” every once in a while is priceless. Thanks for running my post on teens and faith yesterday and the day before. You are awesome.
Your devotional couldn’t have come at a better time. I am a single parent of two ages 19 and 15. It has been difficult raising the children without their father, but God provided a wonderful church family. My 19 year old son has been going through rebellion for the past 6 years with drinking, drugs, complete disobedience, you name it. He was a talented athlete and extremely intelligent student and I couldn’t wait to see him soar. He barely graduated high school last year, moved into an apartment that he couldn’t afford (his girlfriend’s mother cosigned for this) and his 15 year old girlfriend moved in with her parent’s consent. He lost his job, fell behind on the rent, moved into his girlfriend’s parent’s home to live with his girlfriend and in four months will become a father. I just found out about the baby on Monday. It seems that each time I make peace with the mess that he has created I find out about a new one. I have begun having panick attacks, gained 20 pounds eating my issues, been in a car wreck that wasn’t my fault–but left me with neck, shoulder, and back issues not to mention no car, and I have a 15 year old daughter to encourage, support, and love through all of this madness with her brother. She now wants to disown him. With all that said, your devotional really spoke to me. However, I just don’t know how to begin finding/mining the gold in my son. He is so covered in dirt that it is as if my son is dead and the hope that I had of ever having my son back is fading.
I am a grandmother and a great aunt who loves your nuggets. My granddaughters are 4 and 5 and my great nieces are 2 and 3. It is so good to know others feel the same way you feel.
I have found when there is scheduling and some flexibility in our future generation lives it is a wonderful experience.
I can see God in each and every one of them.
Thanks for your wisdom and for sharing it with others.
If we go back to less is more and families are the most precious gifts God has given us.
Thank you so much for your devotional today! Lately I have been praying for patience and understanding involving my children. Every morning that I wake up it my patience and understanding is better! God is so wonderful!
I have 3 beautiful little girls, ages 2, 4 and 7yrs old.
I look forward to reading more tomorrow!
Thank you,
Amber
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This was such a timely devotion for me and touched me deeply. My kids are 12 and 4 and constantly test me at different levels. Thank you so much for your words!
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Renee