Today I have a devotion on Crosswalk and at Proverbs 31 about the day I almost quit being a mom. It was a really hard day. But it really was the day I started “becoming” the mom I always wanted to be. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t become that kind of mom until I understood God’s perspective of me as His child.
When I finished writing in my journal that day, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God. Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
Zig Ziglar tells this story in his book, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, and then challenges moms and dads to look past their children’s mistakes and mine for gold in them, fully convinced that every child has gold hidden in their hearts just waiting to be discovered.
I was buried in the dirt that day. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was discouraged and so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced that God felt the same way about me. Then I started wishing I had a “gold-miner” in my life who would see beyond my mistakes and mishaps and find the gold in me. I almost inflated some black balloons and threw a little pity-party.
It was then that I sensed God whisper to my heart, “I am that Gold-miner.” He reminded me that I was the one who was being so critical of myself. I was the one who was so focused on what I didn’t do right. I felt like He whispered, “Renee, I see the gold of My image in you, and I want to bring it to the surface in your heart so that your kids could see Me in you.”
He also reminded me of stories and verses in the Bible that tell me He sees beyond who I am to who I can become. I knew this was God speaking because I didn’t think like that 10 years ago. I didn’t believe Him in an instant, either. No, it would take time for me to really let those truths sink in. But that day He used His thoughts to give me a new perspective of Him, and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to have that same perspective with my children.
As a mom, it’ so easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and mommy discouragement. That day I wondered: where is the gold in it all?
But after reading Ziglar’s challenge and hearing God challenge my heart, I thought about the difference it could make for my children to know I was intent on finding the gold within them. I wasn’t sure what the gold would look like but I figured if it was there, God could help me find it. So, I asked Him to show me and then I started writing down my thoughts. Two things came to mind – golden attitudes and golden actions.
I made a column for each and listed character traits like kindness, obedience, honesty, thankfulness, and compassion. I decided to look up Bible verses that tied in with the traits and wrote them down beside each one. Those not-so-golden traits needed to be addressed too, so I made a column for the dirt that buries the gold – anger, selfishness, whining, arguing, jealousy, pride, etc.
That night I went to bed thinking about what happened that day. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a mom. I felt like God was telling me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Finally I felt like there may be some meaning in the monotony! I had a goal and hope for some progress as a parent. Tomorrow I’ll share more. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
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Today’s Mom Give-Aways
Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD and George Barna’s “Revolutionary Parenting”. We’ll be giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!
To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post. I’d love to know how old your kids are, and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!
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Dear Renee,
Thanks so much for your devotional. I’ve been feeling like a failure as a mom, even though I have wonderful 9-year-old twin girls. I’ve been focused on what’s wrong instead of what’s “gold” — in my children, in myself, and in my husband. I’m making a commitment today to be a gold-miner.
Thank You and May God Bless You.
Debbie
[email protected]
Renee, You have been an answer to my prayer. I have felt for so long like a bad mother. I always asked the question of how can my kids be as smart as they are, I never spend the time teaching them? I totally surrendered today to the plan that God has to make me the mom He wants me to be. I’ve prayed for that, but never really found an answer until today’s devotion and blog you wrote. Thank you Lord for Renee. For giving her the wisdom and love from You so that she can share it with others who need that wisdom to find Your love. True love. Amen May God continue to use you in more ways than you can imagine.
God bless you!
Jess
email: [email protected]
Thank you for your encouraging devotional today. I have a two year old, adorable, very very (did I say very??) energetic son. I work full-time and feel like my most important job as a mother sometimes gets put on the back-burner. My husband is a full-time minister, so weekends are busy too. Your devotion was a beautiful reminder that I need to focus on my son’s heart when I am with him, and not get bogged down in all the little habits or behaviors that are negative. Many times I am too critical of myself also and feel guilty when I should not. I do need to be more proactive in digging for the gold in his little, but enormous heart. He is such a sweet and loving child to be so small. Thank you!
Annie
[email protected]
Thank you so much for sharing this with us today! It spoke to me, as I think we as mothers often find ourselves in this place..wondering if we are doing it well enough, and if our children will actually “turn out” as we hope and pray they will. But it all comes down to laying it all down before God and letting Him deal with us and them. Thank you for opening my eyes again to this. I am a mom of two, ages 11 1/2 and 6 1/2. I will look for the gold within them today!
Blessings!
Miriam ([email protected])
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It means so much to me. My husband and I are blessed to have 3 beautiful girls, ages, 6, 4, and 1 1/2. There have been many days when it just seems so hard…like you said, just wanting to quit. Sometimes it’s just so draining. I love my girls and they are wonderful gifts from God, but I needed this encouragement to look for the gold in them…to truly see them as God created them to be.
We have been praying about homeschooling instead of public school. We definitely feel this is the direction God is leading us, but it seems like Satan just wants to put those little doubts in there. Your encouragement just seems to be even more of a confirmation that we’re doing the right thing. Thanks so much for your devotional today. You have truly blessed my heart.
Have a blessed day,
Charla
[email protected]
Renee,
Thank you for the encouragement of Mining for Gold. I have been struggling with my sons and trying so hard to teach them what is right and of God. I have gotten to the point where I'm so frustrated it's hard to keep my head above water. But I see I need to be on my knees more often, more positive & Mining for Gold in my children. Thank you very much for your encouragement and godly words.
I felt like God was speaking directly to me today through your devotion and blog. I have 2 daughters, ages 11 and 13. It is often times difficult to look past the arguing and teenage attitudes to search for the “gold”. Thanks for your ministry!
Stephanie
[email protected]
It was as if I was reading about myself while reading your blog and devotion. My daughter is 8 and sometimes I wonder where I went wrong and what did I do that makes her act so awful sometimes. I have thought many times that I’m not cut out to be a Mom which is sad because I love being a Mom. I too long to be the Mom God wants me to be. I cry out to Him often but I guess I just don’t think He hears and I don’t give HIm time to work.
Thanks for your inspiring words. It definitely give me hope that I too can become a great Mom.
Gloria
My email is [email protected]
Thank you so much for today’s devotion. My friend’s and I always talk about how we dont feel like we are the best mom’s that we can be, but we have never looked on it with this perspective before. My children are 7 and 3 and the 3 year old, my daughter, daily tries my patience with her stubborness; she is just like me!!! Oh,my poor mother.
God’s blessings on your trip!
Alicia
[email protected]
PERFECT TIMING!! This came at a perfect time…thank you so much for allowing God to use you to encourage others…
Renee,
Thank you so much for your words today. I am a stay at home mom of four children, ages 15 to 2, with a loving husband. We are a blended family which brings in its own challenges. I recently gave my husband the “pink slip” as well. He’s been doing his best to pick me up and dust me off… reminding me that the Lord will carry me through each day. I love your story about gold mining… that we need to look past all the dirt to get to the gold within our children. I often wondered how the “super moms” could get their children dressed and out the door on time for church… or get their children to listen to them in the grocery store. I feel that I need to dig past all the dirt in my life to find Gods gold within myself.
Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Kathleen
Renee, thank you once again for your devotional. I get so caught up in looking at our “actions” – that I forget to look at the hearts of our family. I already have out my pen and paper to make lists of golden actions and golden attitudes and look for verses for each. Thank you.
-Kerri
Mom of Emily (7) and Erin (4)
[email protected]
Hi my name is andrea (RI).
I am a mom of 9 year old twin girls. I Have a lot of fears arounf then growing up and going astray from GOD’S ways, so i become very protective about evrything. But i have real;ized today after reading Renee;s devotional that i have lacked to find teh gold in my children’s heart. My axiety about the coming years and how society is becoming has made me not enjoy being a mom. I always say that parenting is the hardest job i ever had, and many times one i do not enjoy. Bbit today Gos is speaking to me to take up this parenting journey with Him by my side, something i have failed to do!
Thank you so much for this devotional. I don’t know how many times I have said “I quit”. My kids deserve more and with God’s help I hope to get it to them someday soon.
I loved your CAN-DO KID, example. I used it with my 5yr old daughter that day in fact.
I greatly appreciate you being so real with being a mom. I’ve just recently had an I quit day, where I ran away to the store and left my kids with my husband. My 5yr old daughter completely baby powdered her brother 1.5yr from head to toe.
I took my kids to church and realized why I didn’t go anymore. They acted like heathens, and I was so embarrassed.
It’s a new day, and I’m up for the challenge.
Thank you,
Cammie
Renee,
I loved the “Gold-Mining” story. How true that is. I will begin looking at thing s from a different perspective today. Thank you for your ministry!
Stephenie
[email protected]
My family is going through some tough changes right now, and my kids are confused. We are in a wonderful church home, but my 5yr old is really struggling somewhere inside himself. please pray that he recognizes the people mining for the gold he has to offer.
Thanks so much for your devotional today, it was wonderful. I am completely new to your site I was sent here by a friend that was placed in my life by the Lord and has been an absolute joy and inspiration.
My two lil girls are 6 and 5. My 6yr old got saved 2 weeks ago and they both love the Lord so unconditionally.
Tabatha
[email protected]
I have only yesterday subscribed to the daily Proverbs 31 devotionals, but how they have blessed me in just two days time. Our children are 10, 9, 7 and 2. I have felt really challenged lately to begin to make God a bigger focus personally and within our family. Thanks for reminding me that I am a child of God, and that He seeks the gold hidden in me. I am asking for His help in seeking the gold within each of my children too!
~Jen
[email protected]
This is so the message that I needed to hear! Some days I feel like all I do is yell and say NO to my kids and I know that there is so much more to being a mom than that!
As a working mom, I struggle to find that balance between getting things done in the evening and spending quality time with my kids.
I do just like your P31 devotional said and look at other moms and wonder how they do it and what I’m doing wrong.
Thank you for reminding me of the good that is in my children and showing me how to focus on that. I love the list! God knew that I needed to hear this today!
Mary in St. Joseph, MO
Mom of a 5 and 2 year old