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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

Becoming a Gold-Mining Mom

Today I have a devotion on Crosswalk and at Proverbs 31 about the day I almost quit being a mom. It was a really hard day. But it really was the day I started “becoming” the mom I always wanted to be. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t become that kind of mom until I understood God’s perspective of me as His child.

When I finished writing in my journal that day, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God. Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”

Zig Ziglar tells this story in his book, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, and then challenges moms and dads to look past their children’s mistakes and mine for gold in them, fully convinced that every child has gold hidden in their hearts just waiting to be discovered.

I was buried in the dirt that day. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was discouraged and so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced that God felt the same way about me. Then I started wishing I had a “gold-miner” in my life who would see beyond my mistakes and mishaps and find the gold in me. I almost inflated some black balloons and threw a little pity-party.

It was then that I sensed God whisper to my heart, “I am that Gold-miner.” He reminded me that I was the one who was being so critical of myself. I was the one who was so focused on what I didn’t do right. I felt like He whispered, “Renee, I see the gold of My image in you, and I want to bring it to the surface in your heart so that your kids could see Me in you.”

He also reminded me of stories and verses in the Bible that tell me He sees beyond who I am to who I can become. I knew this was God speaking because I didn’t think like that 10 years ago. I didn’t believe Him in an instant, either. No, it would take time for me to really let those truths sink in. But that day He used His thoughts to give me a new perspective of Him, and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to have that same perspective with my children.

As a mom, it’ so easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and mommy discouragement. That day I wondered: where is the gold in it all?

But after reading Ziglar’s challenge and hearing God challenge my heart, I thought about the difference it could make for my children to know I was intent on finding the gold within them. I wasn’t sure what the gold would look like but I figured if it was there, God could help me find it. So, I asked Him to show me and then I started writing down my thoughts. Two things came to mind – golden attitudes and golden actions.

I made a column for each and listed character traits like kindness, obedience, honesty, thankfulness, and compassion. I decided to look up Bible verses that tied in with the traits and wrote them down beside each one. Those not-so-golden traits needed to be addressed too, so I made a column for the dirt that buries the gold – anger, selfishness, whining, arguing, jealousy, pride, etc.

That night I went to bed thinking about what happened that day. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a mom. I felt like God was telling me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Finally I felt like there may be some meaning in the monotony! I had a goal and hope for some progress as a parent. Tomorrow I’ll share more. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.

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Today’s Mom Give-Aways

Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD and George Barna’s “Revolutionary Parenting”. We’ll be giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!

To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post. I’d love to know how old your kids are, and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!

Comments

  1. Renee
    A friend emailed your devotional yesterday and as I now see by the almost 300 comments posted, you struck a cord that resonates with a bunch of women!! I just came out of a year and one half “funk” and I want to say amen and thanks for reminding me that the divine gold digger does delight in getting rid of all the dirt that is covering up the precious gold in my life and that of my children and husband. This is my first visit to your website but certainly NOT my last!! Praise the Lord for you!

  3. It’s all about perception (perception is reality) and perspective, isn’t it! I feel like a huge deposit has just gone into my bank account Renee. I praise God for you and for being authentic. I have 3 blessings ages 16 yrs., 11 yrs., and 8 yrs old. My youngest is the most challenging all though I love him (and the others with all my heart and treasure them). He has ADHD and at times I grow so weary with having Lupus and homeschooling them, that I lose sight of what purpose I am to serve. I have no regrets, just want so much for all 3 of them. I wish the English dictionary housed words to described the encouragement God gave me through you today. May He richly bless you.
    Bev

  5. Renee,

    Boy, I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS MESSAGE TODAY in the worst way! Thank you for reminding me to keep on digging for those precious nuggets of gold in my children’s hearts! It is so easy to focus on the behaviors that drive me crazy and make me feel so utterly inadequate for this most important job, discouraged and ready to GIVE UP… when I’m up to my neck in WHYS, WHINING and REFEREEING! My kids are almost 7, 5, and 4. The oldest and the youngest are boys, with their sister sandwiched in the middle. We never experienced sibling rivalry until our daughter came home 4 months ago. The 2 youngest have now given that phrase new mieaning! They all came to us through the blessing of adoption…our sons at age 2 from China and Guatemala, our daughter from Ecuador.

    Thanks again for the reminder to mine for that gold in our children’s lives just as God does with each of us!

    Debbie

  6. Thank you. I needed to be reminded today that God sees His gold in me, on a particularly bad day. I look forward to your blog each day and needed the perspective check that God needs me to look for the gold in others too.
    My baby is -2 months and 3 weeks…still in my belly! 🙂 But if I won this I would share it with my dear friend with 2 boys. [email protected]

  10. Renee, I am a new subscriber and I have really been going through some hard times in being a Mom. I have always felt that soemthing else was rearing my kids, daughter 9yrs. and son 5 yrs. It has also been hard on them. My daughter was diagnosed with ADD 2 yrs. ago. I was so upset. I am a dental assistant for a Muslim and have been for over 9 yrs. I had a feeling in my heart that why God wanted me there was to help the other girls (employees), to plant the seed. But the way he runs his office and belittles his staff, making it a point to make family come last., has really made our lives hard. I’ve really prayed for a while now that if God still wants me to be there, He will make changes so that I can be with my family more. Or simply close the door and open anew one. Now there is a position at my children’s school that I have applied for. I haven’t heard anything back yet. But it was be so perfect. Schedule with my kids, closed to home and them, especially more time them. I know God has a plan and waiting is the hardest battle to over come. Please pray for me so that God will provide a way for me the be the Mother that I want to be. Children living this world today need more Christian guidance than ever before and I want them to have it. Thank you so much. Your devotion has giving the strenght and inspiration in waiting to hear from the job. THank you again.

    Lots of Prayers,
    Wiendy

  12. Wow, I so needed your devotional today. I prayed and cried just beforing reading it, praying that God would guide me in being the mother he wants me to be. My boys are 2 and 10 months and they are such beautiful gifts and I’m so incredibly honored that God chose me to be their mommy. Today was difficult but tomorrow is a new day, and God has blessed me with so much. Thank you again!
    Blessings,
    Heather
    e-mail [email protected]

  13. Renee – I cannot even begin to tell you how perfect the timing was of your devotional. I have a son who just turned 7 and is in first grade. Today was report card day and I have to admit that I was feeling like a failure as a mom. My son is a very bright, creative, little boy who loves the Lord. However, he has problems in school. No matter what my husband and I do, or how much we talk, it does not make a difference. I know it is only first grade, and the challenges that lay ahead will be much greater, but it is still hard and I kept feeling like I am doing something wrong. So, when I read your devotion today – wow – there is gold below all the dirt. I really needed that reminder. I need to remember to lean on God, and that I cannot do everything myself. I just need to keep praying – and digging away the dirt. I know our son is truly a treasure and I know he is a gift, and that God has great plans for him – even when there is a lot of dirt. Thank you for your devotional. It truly encouraged my heart.
    Barb

  14. Renee, thanks for your devotional today. As a fellow mom, I can relate to the feelings of inadequacy and discouragement. However, we have a victorious Father in heaven who carries us if we invite Him to. Parenting is tough at times but is also sooo rewarding.

    We have a son who is 15 and a daughter who is 12. They are wonderful individuals who bring us much joy, sometimes challenges, and we are thankful for them as they are definitely gifts from God.
    My email is [email protected]
    Have a wonderful week!
    Colleen

  15. Thank you for your words today. It was like what I needed to hear. I have 5 kids total. 12yo, two 14yo, 16yo and 19yo. It is an interesting mix. Parenting is such an overwhelming job. The rewards are not immediately seen and you feel like you are treading upstream most days. Especially with teens when they know everything. When you talked about looking at the negative and not the positive it was like that is me. Thanks for reminding me to look at the positive and not get bogged down in the negative. Thanks, Pam @ [email protected]

  16. Thanks Renee for such words, I too saw God mine for gold in me, and worked through that to help me raise my son in a way that honored Him.

    I had to come to the end of me and thats where He began.

    Much love,

    Stace

  17. Hi, I came over from Proverbs 31. I have four daughters, ages 3,2,2,&2. I am looking forward to looking for the gold tomorrow! Thanks!!

    foursillysisters (at) gmail (dot) com

  18. Thank you, Renee, for the very appropriate devotion. This week has been a tough one. My 7 year old daughter is learning how to keep her cool, my 5 year old son is learning to be himself even when things get hairy at home, my 3 year old son is learning how to be more polite and my 1 year old son is just taking it all in! Yikes!! Well, I am not surprised that God led me to this devotion today. Thank you, again, for the encouragement. Tomorrow is a new day of blessings and mercy!

    🙂 Maria in CT
    [email protected]

  20. Today’s verse was such a great reminder for me that God is willing to come down and meet me where I am at in my journey. My kids are His kids first, and if I ask, He’ll give me the tools to grow them into the adults He wants them to be. Right now I’m thinking through what it looks like for our family to be a D6 family. Our kids are 6,5,2,and 9months.

    Valerie
    [email protected]

  21. Renee,
    Thank you for the awsome insight. It is so easy to compare ourselves with other mothers and how we “percieve” they are. And so easy to see ourselves through others eyes instead of God’s.
    I am a mother of 3. A 20 year old daughter and 2 boys, 7 and 10 years old.
    Thank you for the great devotional.
    Prayers to you,
    Sheila Pomarico
    [email protected]

  22. Reene:)I have been more than blessed today I was looking for words of encouragement and I find God through you.My children are 15 and 20 years of age,and I have recently going to a process of knowing them more and more and I have been asking God to show me the best of them to appreciate more who they are,and understand better from where things that I do not like are coming from,THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS AND THOUGTHS I will make my own list and I know will be a blessing to my life.
    MAY GOD CONTINUE BLESSING YOUR LIFE AND WALKING HAS A CHILD OF GOD GREAT WIFE AND WONDERFUL MOTHER.

  23. Oh how good is God to lead us out of our pits and show us the things we need to learn in order to be better and eventually great. Thank you for sharing your experience so others can learn from it.
    My children are 3 and 4 months.
    Please enter me in today’s draw.
    [email protected]

  24. Loved, just loved your devotional today. Thank you for the encouragement!!! When my children were all little tinies and needed me constantly mothering was tiring but wonderfully fulfilling. Now that they are just a little older, it is tiring and sometimes not quite as rewarding. Thanks for pointing me toward the prize and the encouragement that it’s all well worth it!!

    My four children are 9,7,5 and almost 3.

    See you in Houston tomorrow!!! Praying for all God has for us!

  25. Thank you Renee!!

    Sometimes we as moms need reminders to shift our focus back to where it needs to be- on the hearts of our children.
    As a mom of 3 children under 6.. my days are consumed with lots of teaching/training. It seems that somedays,, they are all challenging me with things. And I tend to focus on the strongwilled 4yr old child who won’t cooperate. Or the issues my developmentally challenged 5 yr old son has, or my 2 yr old getting into everything.
    I want to be a gold digger/focus on mining the hearts of my children- focus on the positive that they do.
    Please pray that God will show me where to start digging.

    Chrissy
    Mom to Nathan-5, Gabriella:4 and Lucas:2
    [email protected]

  27. Renee, I've been receiving your devotionals for about a year now. I always enjoy them and look forward to starting each morning here at work with a positive devotion. The last few days your devotions have seemed to have taken a different turn for me. They have started being a sortof confirmation on issues that I have brought to God during my prayer times or issues that are weighing on my heart. It has really been a blessing. My husband and I have 3 boys. Their ages are 14, 8 & 3. Each of them are such unique individuals, and as precious and beautiful as I think they are they can also each be 3 handfuls. Today's devotion was so inspiring for me. Thank you for reminding me that desiring to be a Godly mom is not enough you have to allow God to guide you every step of the way. In day to day life I sometimes forget, while asking God to be with my children and to lead my husband and I in the right way to raise them spiritually to actually move out of the way and allow God to guide me. Sincerely in Christ love, Angela from Tennessee

  28. I have a 5 young kids. I have often thought I cant do this. I dont have what it takes to stay in this for the long haul. But I guess there is something in me that God thought was capable and eventually this would seem like my hearts desire. There are so many things to do and I keep trying to manage my time well and prioritize but feel like I have ADD I get distracted so easily by all there is to do. If the priority were “mining for gold” perhaps it would seem more managable than do all things well. I look forward to tomorrow.

  29. I am a mother of 5 – oldest is 12 yrs old, 2nd boy is 11 yrs old, 3rd boy is 9 years old, 4th GIRL is 7 years old and 5th boy is 5 years old. We homeschool and just recently my attitude was “I Quit” in the homeschool front, even though everything in my heart says it’s worth it – some days are really difficult. Thank you for your encouragement!

  30. What a blessing your devotions are to so many moms that need to hear that they are not failures. I was talking to my sister in law this morning and she was telling me that she feels like a terrible mom because she was having to make her daughter (8 months) take medicine and I was telling her to get used to it. I just thought that feeling came with the territory. I so desperately needed to hear this today. I do need to look for the gold in the heart of my girls (5, 3, and 5 months) instead of seeing only the negative. I feel like I’m always on them and there is never any happiness or fun in our home. I want to raise my girls differently than I was raised and I want them to see Jesus in me, but I feel like they only get to see an uptight, angry mom that is never any fun. Thank you for sharing. I pray God will help me to find the gold in mine and my girls’ hearts.

  31. Boy I have had some days like you describe. I seems crazy that in my early mom years I was so far from God, when I needed him most. I loved when you said God reminded you that he was the Gold Miner in your life. I have been rehearsing, Nichole Nordeman’s, I AM, to sing at church. A great song to remind me that God is there with me, being whatever I need at any stage in my life. He is the great I AM.
    My boys are 3 and 6 now, and every day is better as I walk with God, because I know he can handle what I cannot. (bugladynora(at)yahoo.com)

  32. Thanks for the devo today.It really ministered to me. My kids are 3 and almost two. I was beating myself up today before I read your devo and feel encouraged and not so alone! God Bless.
    [email protected]

  33. Great devotional! I have 3 boys Nick (15, just happens to have Down Syndrome), Mitchell (8 soon to be 9, more brains than I can keep up with) and Zachary (7, my little love bug).

  35. Wow- I so needed a new perspective on raising my kids and this devotional definitely brought some darkness to light for me. I have 3 kids- Donovan, 5 in February, Seth, 3, and Grace, 8 months. I feel so inadequate as a mom lately because nothing I say ever gets obeyed willingly and cheerfully.
    I know that God has made my children to do great and mighty things for His kingdom but it is hard to see the “gold” inside of them on cranky, whiny days. Thank God He gives us the grace to make mistakes and pick back up with this godly parenting thing. Thank you for your godly wisdom! It sure has encouraged me and given me more of a reason to keep “spurring my kids on to love and good deeds.”

  36. Thank you so much for being obedient and sharing this from your heart. This devotion has been such an encouragement to me and two of my mom friends. We are all mom’s of toddlers and just overwhelmed with the task of “moldling” them. I needed so desperately to be reminded to look at their heart and not the habits. Thank you. I am very excited about following this blog and God speaking more to me about this. Thank you.

  37. Hi Renee,

    I read your devotion today at Probverbs 31. I read the devotionals there daily and they always speak to my heart and many times, God is answering my prays through the insights, encourgament, and prayers included in those devotions. I pray these ministries continue and more emerge espicially in these increaslingly agnostic times.
    I espicially pay close attention to the devotions about parenting. I often find doubt in my skills in as a parents, even knowing that this counterprodotive to my purpose to be the very best parent I can be. Turning to God is my only hope for continued support and strength. I am the parent of three children, two of which I had the privlage of marrying their father and joining their family. The third is our child together. The task of shared parenting for my husband and myself is huge, as I am sure it is for their mother and her husband. It is stressful and trying, but worth it, very worth it. Devotions and Ministries like yours send much needed messages of hope! And of course to hear and re-inforce the word of the Lord our Savior daily. Which the whole world needs. Thank you and God bless you and your family.
    Tonya
    [email protected]

  38. I loved this devotional today!! It was the answer to my prayers (and tearfilled sobs to my sister) this morning. I have three daughters, nine, four and 20 months and often feel very overwhelmed. Many days I am ready to hand in my own “pink slip” by lunch time. Thank you so much for broaching this subject as I too had read the “Can-do” kid devotional and was amazed at your tenacity as a mom. It is always a joy to see how God works the women of Proverbs 31!!!!!

    [email protected]

  39. I have a six year old girl (who thinks she is 14) and an eight year boy who really acts a LOT older. Both are incredable gifts ( I was not suppossed to have either one of them) We had them after 16yrs of marraige and sometimes I feel so lost. I know I want to be a much better Mom than I am. I would like to be the Mom God created me to be.

    Thank you for the devotional today. I don’t feel quite as alone as I did. I want to be a gold miner.
    Thank you

  42. I have been enjoying your blog entries so much. It was just last year I took the plunge of faith to be a stay at home mom. I had a lot of fears that I would not be able to do it. It seemed very backward to many people that I made that choice, but God had laid such a desire on my heart telling me that my ministry right now needed to be – a mom to my children. I am the mom of Aleigh, age 4, and almost two year old twins and in that first year I had many “I Quit” moments. When you wrote about handing in your “I Quit” pink pass to your husband I laughed at loud. Oh, have I been there. God has such worked on my heart that I am praying fervently right now to start up a parenting Bible study in my home. I keep writing down quotes from your blogs and hope to share many of these with others.

    I pray that I will become a gold-mining mom!

    nazyouth4god (at) hotmail (dot) com

  43. Thank you so much for this devotion! I can really relate to the part of the email about looking at other Moms and wondering what is wrong with me?
    I am a stay at home Mom now for almost four years and I have a 4 year old girl and a 10 year old boy.

  44. Renee,

    Thank you for your devotional today. I received it as a link from another devotion I get.

    This is something I have struggled with for a long time. I seem to point out all the dirt, instead of digging to find the gold.

    The problem is that I need to figure out how to switch my thinking. Dirt digging seems automatic. How do I switch my focus to look for Gold instead of Dirt?

    I always thought it was my job to dig dirt, so they would clean it up. But I guess all that did… was to keep expecting more dirt to show up. I want to find more GOLD! I have a new profession “GOLD DIGGER”

    Thanks!

    GOLD DIGGER

  45. Hi there, my name is Terry. I loved this devotion today. I’m a working mom of a 7 yr old boy with some issues. I can’t believe that you had trouble being a mom. I too felt the same way about being a mom. As like today, I’m not having fun or I don’t see the fun or love in being a mom. IDK, I do sometimes I don’t have what it takes to be a mom when I see other mom’s being more patient to their kids and here I am constantly yelling at mine. I don’t like to be one of those mom’s that like to yell b/c that’s what mine did when I was little. So now I’m finding out I’m my mother. Ugh!!! IDK how many times I’ve thrown in the “pink slip” as you call it b/c I was frustrated, disappointed and whatever feeling there is. I have so many times removed myself of being called mom so many times I can’t even tell you. It’s good to see that I’m not the only one that goes through this “phase” or feeling and you’re so right about having God in front as a shield to help me through this time.

    Thank you so much for writing this and the encouragement you give us ladies/moms.

    Love
    Terry @:o)

  46. WOW…you have alot of responses. Word is getting out about this wonderful resource…wealth of information that you are posting!

    My children are age
    9,12,14,16,17…Thanks for the info you have been posting!

    Shannon
    [email protected]

  47. Thank you Renee. I am a little overwhelmed, some days I “feel” like I have it all together…other, not so much. I like your practical advice. I have 4 daughters from 3 to 15. And the first three were just as your p31 devotion described…I would say “no don’t touch that” and they would stop “okay mommy”. Well…then came blessing number four. Her response (if any) “why”. She is such a challenge. I thank you soo much for your advice, stop looking at their actions so much, and look at their heart. Thank you so much, and my daughters do too.
    Blessings,
    Stephanie
    [email protected]

  48. Well, what a day it has been. God has definitely put you in my path today. Having had to leave the grocery store yesterday afternoon after my 2 year old knocked over a display to this morning when my 6 year old continues to fight with me every morning about getting out of bed. It is a constant struggle to get all of us out of the house and me to work on time. I cannot get past this. I am beginning to think that she is not going to change, so I am struggling as to how to deal with this. How do I find the gold in that, I ask?
    Thank you for what you do and share with us. I am looking forward to Thursday night in Houston!!!
    Beth P.

  49. Thank you
    this is just what I needed.
    I felt like quitting as a mom
    and a wife. I need God to help me
    find the gold in my family.

    my boy is alomst 4
    my girl is almost 2

    [email protected]

  50. Renee,
    I loved your devotion today…I have 6 children ages 16,14,11,10,7,and 6. I know that I can be really critical after working all day and tend to see only the dirt instead of focusing on the positive. I will try harder now to focus on finding the gold.
    [email protected]

    Thank You,
    Kim