Today I have a devotion on Crosswalk and at Proverbs 31 about the day I almost quit being a mom. It was a really hard day. But it really was the day I started “becoming” the mom I always wanted to be. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t become that kind of mom until I understood God’s perspective of me as His child.
When I finished writing in my journal that day, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God. Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
Zig Ziglar tells this story in his book, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, and then challenges moms and dads to look past their children’s mistakes and mine for gold in them, fully convinced that every child has gold hidden in their hearts just waiting to be discovered.
I was buried in the dirt that day. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was discouraged and so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced that God felt the same way about me. Then I started wishing I had a “gold-miner” in my life who would see beyond my mistakes and mishaps and find the gold in me. I almost inflated some black balloons and threw a little pity-party.
It was then that I sensed God whisper to my heart, “I am that Gold-miner.” He reminded me that I was the one who was being so critical of myself. I was the one who was so focused on what I didn’t do right. I felt like He whispered, “Renee, I see the gold of My image in you, and I want to bring it to the surface in your heart so that your kids could see Me in you.”
He also reminded me of stories and verses in the Bible that tell me He sees beyond who I am to who I can become. I knew this was God speaking because I didn’t think like that 10 years ago. I didn’t believe Him in an instant, either. No, it would take time for me to really let those truths sink in. But that day He used His thoughts to give me a new perspective of Him, and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to have that same perspective with my children.
As a mom, it’ so easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and mommy discouragement. That day I wondered: where is the gold in it all?
But after reading Ziglar’s challenge and hearing God challenge my heart, I thought about the difference it could make for my children to know I was intent on finding the gold within them. I wasn’t sure what the gold would look like but I figured if it was there, God could help me find it. So, I asked Him to show me and then I started writing down my thoughts. Two things came to mind – golden attitudes and golden actions.
I made a column for each and listed character traits like kindness, obedience, honesty, thankfulness, and compassion. I decided to look up Bible verses that tied in with the traits and wrote them down beside each one. Those not-so-golden traits needed to be addressed too, so I made a column for the dirt that buries the gold – anger, selfishness, whining, arguing, jealousy, pride, etc.
That night I went to bed thinking about what happened that day. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a mom. I felt like God was telling me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Finally I felt like there may be some meaning in the monotony! I had a goal and hope for some progress as a parent. Tomorrow I’ll share more. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
********************************************
Today’s Mom Give-Aways
Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD and George Barna’s “Revolutionary Parenting”. We’ll be giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!
To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post. I’d love to know how old your kids are, and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!
Discover more from Renee Swope
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Renee, thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I just woke up and felt like “here goes another day”. Even though I know God has awesome things planned for my children, it’s sure easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day monotony. My children are 11, 9 and 7 and my 7-year-old is the one that we really struggle with. He is ADHD/ADD and some OCD thrown in there as well, so each day is a challenge and a struggle. Thank you for reminding me to call on God and not to do this on my own.
Blessings!
([email protected])
Thanks God that I read you today! I have two children: a beautiful three-year-old girl who is Mikhaela and a two-weeks-old baby boy called Samuel. This is so new for me. I really would like to feel that I am giving each of them my 100 % but instead I feel I am sharing my self wih them and not in a fair way. Mikhaela wants to play with me but her brother demands a lot of my attention changing the diappers, nursing, … Sometimes I am tired beause I don’t sleep straight all night long I just want to take a nap but she doesn’t she just wants to spend some time with me and I love it but I can hardly find the strenght. I want to be the perfect mother. I feel really bad when I realize that I have spent most of the day saying: Mikhaela don’t do this don’t do that, you are not behaving your self, etc I just want to find the gold as you wrote in your article and encourage her every day, bolding her best things, teaching her how much God loves her through the love my husband and I give to her and her brother with facts not only words. I want our home be a place full of harmony and peace and this is possible only with the presence of God so I want to be the one who invites God every day to stay and I learnt today the only thing I need to do is to surrender and He will lead me to be the mom He wants me to be.
Wonderful devotion!
I have two daughters ages 8 and 9.
[email protected]
Angela
Thank you for your daily devotional via email. It really challenges me to step up. Todays devotion about mothering really struck home. I have 4 boys (16,14,13,12). They are all great kids but there have been times that the shear volume, sound and number, can make my mothering quite a challenge. You want to give them all attention for the GOLD but there are times when the DIRT gets more attention. Thanks for reminding me that God searches our hearts for the gold and pushes the dirt aside as we should do for our children. I have seen some great glimmers of gold in my children and sometimes that is what I choose to ignore. Starting today I will celebrate all those glimmers. Maybe as I celebrate, the gold will become more revealed and the dirt will fall away!!!! I AM GOING FOR THE GOLD!!!!!!! mE
Thank you for your devotion today! WOW! Does it hit home! As a homeschooling Mom, I have those thoughts often. Next time I’ll look for the “gold”!!
Kristi
[email protected]
Renee, your devotion is so timely for me. I have an 11, 8 almost 6 and recently adopted 2 year old and boy do I feel like a failure. Your words have helped me change my perspective. I love the Psalms 19:35 verse in the P31 devotional. It will now be added to my daily prayer.
Thanks for your blessings – Monica
[email protected]
Renee,
Your blog hits me at a time in my life where I too have been feeling the strain of being a ‘good’mom. I am a mom of 4, two daughters ages 11 and 5; and two step-sons ages 10 and almost 9. I have been the full-time mom of 4 for almost three years now. It has been a blessing, but at the same time it has been a very rough road. We have battled finding out if my (almost)9 yr. old step son has Autism, or a learning disability along with finding out if his brother has a ‘tic’ disorder. Thank God for grace and patience and blessing us with the finances that I am able to stay home and work with my children, go to school part time, and work with our youth group at church!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart, it has trully blessed me this morning and given me a positive outlook on the day!
Natosha Sturgill
[email protected]
Thank-you for your much needed encouragement today. [email protected]
I just joined Proverbs 31 and followed the link here.
I love how God always gives me a devotion that I need for that day.
I have two boys who are 16 & 14 yrs old.
I really needed to hear this today. We have a 3 1/2 and a 5 1/2 yr old. We are struggling through some anger and sensory issues with our oldest. At the end of most days I am left feeling discouraged and like a terrible mom. I often question why I deserve to have these children when I don’t seem to bring out the best in them. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for the challenge to find the gold in my children. I hope to start enjoying being a mom every day as I set out on this journey.
[email protected]
I have a 10 year old son who is homeschooled and a 2 1/2 year old daughter who loves learning right along side big brother. I too at times have flet like turning in my pink slip. This post really toched me and gave me new hope that I can do this job. Thank you for the inspiration.
Emily
[email protected]
Oh, how I can relate to your devotional and blog. I am a mother of 3 girls (6,4 and 19 months) with another baby due in 5 weeks. I have said the “I quit” and “I can’t do this anymore” words more often than I’d like to admit. Thanks for encouraging me to look beyond myself and see the God who sustains me, loves me, and gives me strength. It’s a journey and a process, but with Him all things are possible.
my e-mail is [email protected]
God always leads me to just the right message to sooth my heart — and today it’s yours. Thank you for being so open and honest about your struggles. It helps many to know they are not alone.
I had a tough day yesterday with my 10 YO son. He was defiant, sullen, angry and abusive all day long. I felt like a parental failure because my child had this attitude. Your analogy of dirt and gold helped me remember that today is a new day to start looking for that gold in my child and to be patient enough to brush away the dirt to find it.
Thank you!
Prayers for safe travels and a beautiful relationship-filled experience,
NC
God’s timing is incredible (as usual!), today’s devotional could have been written just for me. It is 10:12pm here in Australia right now and I have just had a ‘covered in dirt’ day. I have a 2 year old and a 5 and a half year old – both boys. I ‘gave-up’ and ‘quit’ numerous times today, but I’m still here, hoping and praying that tomorrow will be ‘gold’. It is wonderful to read or talk with others and to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way, and I am not the ‘failure’ I feel like on days like this.
Thank you for your great devotionals,
Tanya
[email protected]
Oh what a wonderful thought of mining for gold! At this time, I'm really covered in dirt & mud. I homeschool my 3, ages 12, 8 & 6, & yesterday was just awful w/ the oldest. I was ready to push her out the door to PS. It breaks my heart… to even really consider it. DD is not a bad kid, just needs a new heart a'tude concerning responsibilities.
I'm going to check the library for the books that you mentioned. I need a "nugget" or two.
Thank you for the devotionals at PR31. I look forward to starting my day with you all!
[email protected]
Thank you for your encouragement. I love reading your blog. I am a mother of two girls, 3 and 6.
[email protected]
God knew I needed just this for today. I do feel like a failure as a mom and very desperate and discouraged that I am the one burying my children in the dirt instead of mining for the gold. We just moved cross country one thousand miles 4 weeks ago to a cold climate and left all of our dear friends and church family behind. I hardly slept at all last night and ended up having a nightmare on top of it. I so want to mine for gold in all 5 of my children’s hearts and for them to become all that God has created them to be. (L-almost 10, S-7,
G- 5 1/2, T-almost 3, and D-almost 5 months. God’s blessings to you for the encouragement you give to others.
Renee, thank you for this devotional today. Only yesterday I talked to my kids, son 13 and daughter 16 about renewing their devotional time with God.
It is an area of their lives that I find they are slipping in, but I realize in the midst of my busy days of moving and all else recently I too have been slipping. So I realize that it’s my example they are living. In thinking about it, I felt so condemned, like oh my, I am slipping again in my effort to draw closer to God.
Thank you for your reminder that we can’t do it without God.
Bless you
Vickie
Renee, thank you for sharing these words today and I thank God for leading me to your story. I was sitting on my couch TRYING to concentrate and stay focused on God. I feel so disconnected from Him right now and it feels so lonely. Each devotion this week has reminded me that God NEVER leaves me or forsakes me, but why can’t I hear Him anymore?
History. My children are all boys, ages 7,6 and 5. My husband and I struggled with 3 miscarriages and 4 unsuccessful intrauterine inseminations before God revealed His Amazing Plan A of adoption to us. Our first two boys are bio brothers from Russia and our third child is our Asian angel from China. He has special needs and will need major reconstructive surgeries this year.
God has blessed us with these amazing children, but each day I question why He chose me to be their mother? I feel so incompetent and wonder how all the other super moms keep it all together. Many encouragers lead me books they have read on parenting, but WHO HAS TIME TO READ??? Sorry, but my few moments of quiet time include a quick devotion and prayer.
I feel guilty complaining because God has blessed us so!! I love my children and my husband and I want to give each of them my best every day. I want them to see Christ in me each day but I seem to fail each day.
Joy, your comment reminds me of Isaiah 45. “I will go before you and level the mountains,I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD,the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”
There is NO DOUBT in my mind that God called us to bring our children home. Please pray for me as I struggle with parenting issues and pray that God will send someone to me and help me discover my own gold. I know that it is there, but my own insecurities keep me blinded.
Sorry this is so long and thanks for “listening”.
Pamela
Thank you for reminding me to stop being so critical of myself. I don’t want to turn into a critical mother! My desire is to encourage the good, loving, obedient behavior that I do see in my 2 year old! Thank you!
Jessica
[email protected]