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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Becoming a Gold-Mining Mom

Today I have a devotion on Crosswalk and at Proverbs 31 about the day I almost quit being a mom. It was a really hard day. But it really was the day I started “becoming” the mom I always wanted to be. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t become that kind of mom until I understood God’s perspective of me as His child.

When I finished writing in my journal that day, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God. Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”

Zig Ziglar tells this story in his book, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, and then challenges moms and dads to look past their children’s mistakes and mine for gold in them, fully convinced that every child has gold hidden in their hearts just waiting to be discovered.

I was buried in the dirt that day. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was discouraged and so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced that God felt the same way about me. Then I started wishing I had a “gold-miner” in my life who would see beyond my mistakes and mishaps and find the gold in me. I almost inflated some black balloons and threw a little pity-party.

It was then that I sensed God whisper to my heart, “I am that Gold-miner.” He reminded me that I was the one who was being so critical of myself. I was the one who was so focused on what I didn’t do right. I felt like He whispered, “Renee, I see the gold of My image in you, and I want to bring it to the surface in your heart so that your kids could see Me in you.”

He also reminded me of stories and verses in the Bible that tell me He sees beyond who I am to who I can become. I knew this was God speaking because I didn’t think like that 10 years ago. I didn’t believe Him in an instant, either. No, it would take time for me to really let those truths sink in. But that day He used His thoughts to give me a new perspective of Him, and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to have that same perspective with my children.

As a mom, it’ so easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and mommy discouragement. That day I wondered: where is the gold in it all?

But after reading Ziglar’s challenge and hearing God challenge my heart, I thought about the difference it could make for my children to know I was intent on finding the gold within them. I wasn’t sure what the gold would look like but I figured if it was there, God could help me find it. So, I asked Him to show me and then I started writing down my thoughts. Two things came to mind – golden attitudes and golden actions.

I made a column for each and listed character traits like kindness, obedience, honesty, thankfulness, and compassion. I decided to look up Bible verses that tied in with the traits and wrote them down beside each one. Those not-so-golden traits needed to be addressed too, so I made a column for the dirt that buries the gold – anger, selfishness, whining, arguing, jealousy, pride, etc.

That night I went to bed thinking about what happened that day. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a mom. I felt like God was telling me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Finally I felt like there may be some meaning in the monotony! I had a goal and hope for some progress as a parent. Tomorrow I’ll share more. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.

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Today’s Mom Give-Aways

Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD and George Barna’s “Revolutionary Parenting”. We’ll be giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!

To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post. I’d love to know how old your kids are, and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!

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Comments

  1. Renee
    A friend emailed your devotional yesterday and as I now see by the almost 300 comments posted, you struck a cord that resonates with a bunch of women!! I just came out of a year and one half “funk” and I want to say amen and thanks for reminding me that the divine gold digger does delight in getting rid of all the dirt that is covering up the precious gold in my life and that of my children and husband. This is my first visit to your website but certainly NOT my last!! Praise the Lord for you!

  3. It’s all about perception (perception is reality) and perspective, isn’t it! I feel like a huge deposit has just gone into my bank account Renee. I praise God for you and for being authentic. I have 3 blessings ages 16 yrs., 11 yrs., and 8 yrs old. My youngest is the most challenging all though I love him (and the others with all my heart and treasure them). He has ADHD and at times I grow so weary with having Lupus and homeschooling them, that I lose sight of what purpose I am to serve. I have no regrets, just want so much for all 3 of them. I wish the English dictionary housed words to described the encouragement God gave me through you today. May He richly bless you.
    Bev

  4. Thanks for the encouragement. My kids are 5, 4, 2, and 2 months. It’s really overwhelming and hard to see the big picture above the piles of laundry and diapers.
    [email protected]

  5. Renee,

    Boy, I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS MESSAGE TODAY in the worst way! Thank you for reminding me to keep on digging for those precious nuggets of gold in my children’s hearts! It is so easy to focus on the behaviors that drive me crazy and make me feel so utterly inadequate for this most important job, discouraged and ready to GIVE UP… when I’m up to my neck in WHYS, WHINING and REFEREEING! My kids are almost 7, 5, and 4. The oldest and the youngest are boys, with their sister sandwiched in the middle. We never experienced sibling rivalry until our daughter came home 4 months ago. The 2 youngest have now given that phrase new mieaning! They all came to us through the blessing of adoption…our sons at age 2 from China and Guatemala, our daughter from Ecuador.

    Thanks again for the reminder to mine for that gold in our children’s lives just as God does with each of us!

    Debbie

  6. Thank you. I needed to be reminded today that God sees His gold in me, on a particularly bad day. I look forward to your blog each day and needed the perspective check that God needs me to look for the gold in others too.
    My baby is -2 months and 3 weeks…still in my belly! 🙂 But if I won this I would share it with my dear friend with 2 boys. [email protected]

  10. Renee, I am a new subscriber and I have really been going through some hard times in being a Mom. I have always felt that soemthing else was rearing my kids, daughter 9yrs. and son 5 yrs. It has also been hard on them. My daughter was diagnosed with ADD 2 yrs. ago. I was so upset. I am a dental assistant for a Muslim and have been for over 9 yrs. I had a feeling in my heart that why God wanted me there was to help the other girls (employees), to plant the seed. But the way he runs his office and belittles his staff, making it a point to make family come last., has really made our lives hard. I’ve really prayed for a while now that if God still wants me to be there, He will make changes so that I can be with my family more. Or simply close the door and open anew one. Now there is a position at my children’s school that I have applied for. I haven’t heard anything back yet. But it was be so perfect. Schedule with my kids, closed to home and them, especially more time them. I know God has a plan and waiting is the hardest battle to over come. Please pray for me so that God will provide a way for me the be the Mother that I want to be. Children living this world today need more Christian guidance than ever before and I want them to have it. Thank you so much. Your devotion has giving the strenght and inspiration in waiting to hear from the job. THank you again.

    Lots of Prayers,
    Wiendy

  12. Wow, I so needed your devotional today. I prayed and cried just beforing reading it, praying that God would guide me in being the mother he wants me to be. My boys are 2 and 10 months and they are such beautiful gifts and I’m so incredibly honored that God chose me to be their mommy. Today was difficult but tomorrow is a new day, and God has blessed me with so much. Thank you again!
    Blessings,
    Heather
    e-mail [email protected]

  13. Renee – I cannot even begin to tell you how perfect the timing was of your devotional. I have a son who just turned 7 and is in first grade. Today was report card day and I have to admit that I was feeling like a failure as a mom. My son is a very bright, creative, little boy who loves the Lord. However, he has problems in school. No matter what my husband and I do, or how much we talk, it does not make a difference. I know it is only first grade, and the challenges that lay ahead will be much greater, but it is still hard and I kept feeling like I am doing something wrong. So, when I read your devotion today – wow – there is gold below all the dirt. I really needed that reminder. I need to remember to lean on God, and that I cannot do everything myself. I just need to keep praying – and digging away the dirt. I know our son is truly a treasure and I know he is a gift, and that God has great plans for him – even when there is a lot of dirt. Thank you for your devotional. It truly encouraged my heart.
    Barb

  14. Renee, thanks for your devotional today. As a fellow mom, I can relate to the feelings of inadequacy and discouragement. However, we have a victorious Father in heaven who carries us if we invite Him to. Parenting is tough at times but is also sooo rewarding.

    We have a son who is 15 and a daughter who is 12. They are wonderful individuals who bring us much joy, sometimes challenges, and we are thankful for them as they are definitely gifts from God.
    My email is [email protected]
    Have a wonderful week!
    Colleen

  15. Thank you for your words today. It was like what I needed to hear. I have 5 kids total. 12yo, two 14yo, 16yo and 19yo. It is an interesting mix. Parenting is such an overwhelming job. The rewards are not immediately seen and you feel like you are treading upstream most days. Especially with teens when they know everything. When you talked about looking at the negative and not the positive it was like that is me. Thanks for reminding me to look at the positive and not get bogged down in the negative. Thanks, Pam @ [email protected]

  16. Thanks Renee for such words, I too saw God mine for gold in me, and worked through that to help me raise my son in a way that honored Him.

    I had to come to the end of me and thats where He began.

    Much love,

    Stace

  17. Hi, I came over from Proverbs 31. I have four daughters, ages 3,2,2,&2. I am looking forward to looking for the gold tomorrow! Thanks!!

    foursillysisters (at) gmail (dot) com

  18. Thank you, Renee, for the very appropriate devotion. This week has been a tough one. My 7 year old daughter is learning how to keep her cool, my 5 year old son is learning to be himself even when things get hairy at home, my 3 year old son is learning how to be more polite and my 1 year old son is just taking it all in! Yikes!! Well, I am not surprised that God led me to this devotion today. Thank you, again, for the encouragement. Tomorrow is a new day of blessings and mercy!

    🙂 Maria in CT
    [email protected]

  20. Today’s verse was such a great reminder for me that God is willing to come down and meet me where I am at in my journey. My kids are His kids first, and if I ask, He’ll give me the tools to grow them into the adults He wants them to be. Right now I’m thinking through what it looks like for our family to be a D6 family. Our kids are 6,5,2,and 9months.

    Valerie
    [email protected]