Today I have a devotion on Crosswalk and at Proverbs 31 about the day I almost quit being a mom. It was a really hard day. But it really was the day I started “becoming” the mom I always wanted to be. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t become that kind of mom until I understood God’s perspective of me as His child.
When I finished writing in my journal that day, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God. Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
Zig Ziglar tells this story in his book, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, and then challenges moms and dads to look past their children’s mistakes and mine for gold in them, fully convinced that every child has gold hidden in their hearts just waiting to be discovered.
I was buried in the dirt that day. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was discouraged and so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced that God felt the same way about me. Then I started wishing I had a “gold-miner” in my life who would see beyond my mistakes and mishaps and find the gold in me. I almost inflated some black balloons and threw a little pity-party.
It was then that I sensed God whisper to my heart, “I am that Gold-miner.” He reminded me that I was the one who was being so critical of myself. I was the one who was so focused on what I didn’t do right. I felt like He whispered, “Renee, I see the gold of My image in you, and I want to bring it to the surface in your heart so that your kids could see Me in you.”
He also reminded me of stories and verses in the Bible that tell me He sees beyond who I am to who I can become. I knew this was God speaking because I didn’t think like that 10 years ago. I didn’t believe Him in an instant, either. No, it would take time for me to really let those truths sink in. But that day He used His thoughts to give me a new perspective of Him, and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to have that same perspective with my children.
As a mom, it’ so easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and mommy discouragement. That day I wondered: where is the gold in it all?
But after reading Ziglar’s challenge and hearing God challenge my heart, I thought about the difference it could make for my children to know I was intent on finding the gold within them. I wasn’t sure what the gold would look like but I figured if it was there, God could help me find it. So, I asked Him to show me and then I started writing down my thoughts. Two things came to mind – golden attitudes and golden actions.
I made a column for each and listed character traits like kindness, obedience, honesty, thankfulness, and compassion. I decided to look up Bible verses that tied in with the traits and wrote them down beside each one. Those not-so-golden traits needed to be addressed too, so I made a column for the dirt that buries the gold – anger, selfishness, whining, arguing, jealousy, pride, etc.
That night I went to bed thinking about what happened that day. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a mom. I felt like God was telling me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Finally I felt like there may be some meaning in the monotony! I had a goal and hope for some progress as a parent. Tomorrow I’ll share more. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
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Today’s Mom Give-Aways
Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD and George Barna’s “Revolutionary Parenting”. We’ll be giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!
To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post. I’d love to know how old your kids are, and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!
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I loved your devotional today. It spoke right to my heart. There are many days that I feel like I CAN’T do it… do it all, being the mom, wife, housekeeper, etc. I feel like I’m failing my kids, family and myself. It’s God who keeps me going. I love the digging for Gold analogy! Thank you Lord!
My daughter is just about to turn 12 and my son is 8 1/2. I love my family! I just want to love my job as a mom and wife more : )
God Bless You and thank you for sharing your stories and being so open and transparent!
Pam
You have no idea how much this meant to me today. Sometimes I delete the devotions before I even look at them. For the last few days, I have told my husband that I want to go back to teaching, and we’ve earnestly been praying about it. Yesterday, I called the principal at the school here in town to ask about openings for next year. He was out. Yesterday afternoon, I told the mom of the child I also keep that I’m not doing it next year. She said she hoped I changed my mind and what was I going to do? I told her that I’m either going back to teaching or it’ll just be my baby and me at home. I actually spoke those words aloud to someone besides myself and my husband in a long time.
This is my third school year to be at home and sometimes I feel like such a failure. I feel like I’m not doing the kids any good being here, anyway, because I don’t do enough with them, my temper flares, they irritate me, there’s too much laundry to do, etc. etc. I know that the Devil brings on a lot of these feelings in me, and the worst is knowing that we’re drowning in debt, and that another full-time income would help A LOT. Then this morning I read a story about a man who lost all of his wealth. After a hard day of financial worries, he came home, and his little girl sat in his lap. She said, “I love you, Papa.” He said, “I love you, too, baby.” She said, “Please don’t ever get rich again. When you were rich, you never came to see us. Now we get to see you every day!” It really made me think about WHY I want to go back to “work”. THEN I READ YOUR DEVOTION. Everything feels better. I know that I am going to have to beg God to lead me because I can’t do this by myself. I’ve been trying to do that for too long now.
I truly appreciate your thoughts today.
Thanks,
Shelley Gammill
hi. i loved your devotion. i can completely understand how you feel. i see those moms and think i want my kids to act like that, then wonder are they always that good or are they having a “good” day.?
Tabitha
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Jo Anna-8
Travis-6
Abbylene-3
Jessica-10 months
Renee,
Thank you so much for sharing. I have been a Christian all my life and I am pregnant with our first child. It wasnt easy to acquire and maintain my faith and there are somepoints in life 9 especially the teen years where it sort of went to the wayside. Your stories make me feel better. I am most worried about how to teach my children the importance of God in their lives. This is especially an issue in today’s society where God continues to be pushed to the side. Please continue to share, they are making a difference in the lives of many 🙂 I am from Pittsburgh so I am very familiar with Mr Carnegie. God Bless Him.
What timing! I came to my “I QUIT” point yesterday. I spent several hours when I went to bed last night wrestling with God. I realized that I have been spending all of my time focusing on the problems and my shortcomings instead of on the solution…God’s ability to handle it all for me. I am a perfectionist, so am very critical of myself and the fact that I can’t keep up with it all. I have three children.. the youngest just turned 3 last Friday, the next is 4, and the eldest is 6. I have been feeling like a failure for quite a while, and have gotten to the point of feeling COMPLETELY drained (physical, emotional, and especially spiritual). I know I have a long road ahead, so please pray for me that I will allow God to do what He wants to do in me. Why is it so hard to stay in submission to the only one who can take away all the dirt? Also, pray for me that I will look for the gold in my kids… I want to see it, but lately have only been looking at all the dirt. It is always encouraging to hear that others have been in the same place and have come out in victory with Jesus. Thanks. Patti
Renee,
Thank you, thank you. I really needed those encouraging words this week. I have three boys 5,4 and 2 and I really needed a way to find the gold in them. I realize now that the gold needs to be found in ME first. Then I can find the gold in them. They are sweet little ones, but sometimes I can only find the coal and not the shining gold that I know is in their hearts. Thanks for your encouraging words and I look forward to more of your devotions in the future as I am new to Proverbs 31 ministries.
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Blessings
Tracy
Thank you, Renee, for sharing your story. I have 3 children, 14, 12, and 9. I have sufferen from the insecurities of being a good mom for years and I actually have GOOD kids. Your devotional and continuing story about Gods-Mining really hit home. I do exactly what you did, looking at other moms, just knowing they are “perfect” and I will never be that good of a mom. I have come a long way but your encouragement just took me to the next level of believing that God made me just the way I am, for my children, and for His Kingdom.
I homeschool my kids and have often given my husband the “pink slip” when he would get home from work.
Thank you for sharing Psalm 19:35. I have now posted it on my refrigerater as a reminder that He will make me great when I trust in Him.
Serving Him Together,
Brenda Peters
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Your devotional and accompanying blog was right on time for me today. I have a 4 1/2 year old son who is very strong willed and has a bad temper. My husband and I have really been going through a rough period with him and yesterday was the worst. Your devotional gave me some positive insight and a ton of encouragement. I look forward to reading what you write next.
Thanks,
Yvonne
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Renee, thank you so much for the encouragement today. I have a 3 1/2 year old son that my husband and I adopted from Russia 2 years ago, he is the joy of my life. We were marrried 13 years before God felt we were ready for kids, and somedays I still dont know if I am ready. There are days that I would like to write out my pink slip too, but I press on because I want to raise him to know Jesus and to know how much he loves him. I think after having Cameron I have so much of a better understanding of how much God loves me, the love that I have for this little man is sooo amazing, and to know that I am Gods child and he loves me even more than I will ever understand is so awesome. I needed the devotion on finding the gold buried in him. It is so easy to get caught up in what they are doing that we feel they shouldnt be doing, and how we cant seem to get them to do what we feel they should be doing. I just wanted to let you know that I am going to may a concious effort everyday to find the gold in my son, but you know it really isnt to hard they are such wonderful gifts from God and I thank him everyday for Cameron. Thank you so much Diana
Renee,
Your devotion couldn’t have arrived at a more perfect time. I was feeling many of the frustrations and opinions in your devotion. I am the mother of 3 girls 12-6 and appreciate your words of wisdom.
Thanks,
Julie
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Thanks so much for the reminder! I have been a Vice principal at a Christian elementary school for 9+ years. I love my job! The best part about it is helping students “dig for gold” in their lives. It is vastly “rich” and rewarding. Maybe we don’t discover gold every day, but we definately “move some dirt”! And some days we hit “the mother load”. Those days are great fun!! Thanks again for the reminder!
Cathy
Renee, Thank you for sharing your story. I often feel like a failure as a mom and I actually have GOOD kids. I even homeschool them, 14, 12, and 9.
I do exactly like you did, see other moms and judge their greatness compared to my lack there of and THEY always come out on top. But I know it is my lack of trust in the Lord and my own personal insecurities forgetting that He created my just the way He wanted me.
I love Psalm 19:35 and have posted it on my refrigerater as a constant reminder to trust HIM and let HIM lead me. Thank you again for opening your heart to God and sharing with us.
Serving Him Together,
Brenda Peters
[email protected]
Hello Renee,
Thanks for sharing your life with us, it’s always encouraging and inspiring to hear from those who have overcome. It gives us hope that we can do the same with the help of God.
I am a mother of six, ranging from 27yrs-4years old. It is totally God working that I should read this today. I’ve been recently feeling discouraged about some of the changes with my children and not knowing how to address it in a way that would build up and not tear down. I want to sheppard my kids hearts and not just address their behavior.
Our first four children have grown-up and have takin’ a not so great direction to put it mildly. An because of this I can be very fearful about raising the two left at home. Afraid of not doing enough and at times too much.
When I look at the two girls left at home, I can feel overwhelmed by how to keep the same thing’s from happening with them. I understand that we all make our choices, but I’m also aware that we as parents make mistakes too.
My hope and prayer is that God would show me how to change and do some things differently in order to send the two left at home out in to the world with a much more RICHER spiritual and emotional heart.
Any help and support you can give would be greatly appreaciated.
Adrienne at [email protected]
God Bless you and your ministry. I have read your divotions before but I had never entered your blog. Now I know what a huge blessing I was missing out on. I have 3 small children ages 1, 3 & 5. I have two jobs and I give bible studies to children now twice a week. Now I love serving the Lord and witnessing the amazing things God has done in these chidrens live's, but just last night after Bible study our bills overwhelmed me, my children's day care recertification paper's were past due and my children were yelling for there mommy to go pray with them. I just felt like crying. My back hurt I was sleepy and I had no other solution than to just give up. But I gave up my worries, everything I gave to the Lord and today is just a confermation and a great thing to realize that I can't do anything with my own strength. When my back hurts my head hurts and I feel like crying I just remember my lords words in mathew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 11:29 Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 11:30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry.” Serving the Lord to me is a privelage I just have to stop myself sometimes and let my Lord do the digging.
This devotion spoke to me more than you’ll ever know. I thought I was the only parent who wondered why I wasn’t able to do what all the other moms did. I also read and enjoyed the Can Do Kid devotion. I’m going to start mining for gold both in my children, and in myself. I’m hoping to win your drawing today and find out more about removing my dirt. God bless you in your ministry.
Kathi
I really loved your blog today. My boys are 4 and 7. Being a mom is the hardest job I’ve ever had. I know God is helping me and shaping me, and I pray daily that my boys are becoming the people God wants them to be.
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Thank you so much for sharing this devotional today. I was sharing earlier with another mom today about my struggles with my teenagers. I used the famous phrase, “they are good kids, but…”. I do need to focus on the fact that they are good kids and they are serving the Lord and stop letting the other things get in the way. My children are 18, 15, and 14.
email – [email protected]
Wow! Your devotional today showed me that I have gold-miners in my life that keep me positive, and encourages me to become a gold-miner in the lives of my children and spouse. My boys are 8 and 4, and your nugget of wisdom will help me design a plan to shape them into emotionally strong men, rather than just running along beside them, trying to correct as we go. Thank you!
Heather West – [email protected]
This devotion really touched my heart this morning. I am a mother of 5. John-11, Joseph-8, Kalynn-7, Lance Jr.-15 months, Laird – 5 months. My husband is overseas on business. He returns this Saturday and will have been gone for two weeks. He will only be here for two weeks, and then he will be gone for another 5 weeks. His travel has definitely taken a toll on me, our family, and our marriage.
I had two situations this morning that I could have handled way differently, and wish I did.
Devotions like this one keep me in check and remind me how we ought to be as Christian parents.
Thank you for the encouragement.
Blessings,
Daniele
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I am new to blogging…this is my very first time to leave a comment anywhere…I am now in the process of trying to teach my two granddaughters, ages 4 & 6 not to say "I can't" do something…I tell them "Can't never could do anything, and you CAN do anything you put your mind and heart to…just ask Jesus to help you"…I really enjoy reading your devotions and I am going to send a link to your site to my daughter-n-law (mom of my granddaughters)…who struggles alot with my 2 very high energy, "grandgirls"! Thank you! May God bless you so you can continue to bless us with your devotions!