Today I have a devotion on Crosswalk and at Proverbs 31 about the day I almost quit being a mom. It was a really hard day. But it really was the day I started “becoming” the mom I always wanted to be. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t become that kind of mom until I understood God’s perspective of me as His child.
When I finished writing in my journal that day, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God. Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
Zig Ziglar tells this story in his book, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, and then challenges moms and dads to look past their children’s mistakes and mine for gold in them, fully convinced that every child has gold hidden in their hearts just waiting to be discovered.
I was buried in the dirt that day. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was discouraged and so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced that God felt the same way about me. Then I started wishing I had a “gold-miner” in my life who would see beyond my mistakes and mishaps and find the gold in me. I almost inflated some black balloons and threw a little pity-party.
It was then that I sensed God whisper to my heart, “I am that Gold-miner.” He reminded me that I was the one who was being so critical of myself. I was the one who was so focused on what I didn’t do right. I felt like He whispered, “Renee, I see the gold of My image in you, and I want to bring it to the surface in your heart so that your kids could see Me in you.”
He also reminded me of stories and verses in the Bible that tell me He sees beyond who I am to who I can become. I knew this was God speaking because I didn’t think like that 10 years ago. I didn’t believe Him in an instant, either. No, it would take time for me to really let those truths sink in. But that day He used His thoughts to give me a new perspective of Him, and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to have that same perspective with my children.
As a mom, it’ so easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and mommy discouragement. That day I wondered: where is the gold in it all?
But after reading Ziglar’s challenge and hearing God challenge my heart, I thought about the difference it could make for my children to know I was intent on finding the gold within them. I wasn’t sure what the gold would look like but I figured if it was there, God could help me find it. So, I asked Him to show me and then I started writing down my thoughts. Two things came to mind – golden attitudes and golden actions.
I made a column for each and listed character traits like kindness, obedience, honesty, thankfulness, and compassion. I decided to look up Bible verses that tied in with the traits and wrote them down beside each one. Those not-so-golden traits needed to be addressed too, so I made a column for the dirt that buries the gold – anger, selfishness, whining, arguing, jealousy, pride, etc.
That night I went to bed thinking about what happened that day. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a mom. I felt like God was telling me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Finally I felt like there may be some meaning in the monotony! I had a goal and hope for some progress as a parent. Tomorrow I’ll share more. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
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Today’s Mom Give-Aways
Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD and George Barna’s “Revolutionary Parenting”. We’ll be giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!
To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post. I’d love to know how old your kids are, and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!
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Hi Renee!
I would love to be in your drawing. I can really use help. I have been struggling being a Mom and could use all the encouragement that I can get. My son Kyle is 7, Savannah is 4, and Skylar is 2. My e-mail address is [email protected]
Thanks and God Bless!
Jennifer
Renee, this month I have been praying daily on a subject I think my kids needs to overcome and in this post I feel God telling me to pray for what they need to develop. I will change my focus for this next month. Thank you.
In His Graces~Pamela
Thank you for making me realize that there is “gold” in my daughters’ hearts and that I should concentrate in digging for gold rather than messing with the dirt (the winning, the arguments, the bad attitude, etc).
I think that as Christians we are called to discipline our children and the best way to accomplish that is leading by example. Gold takes time to be found and then takes even more time to be shaped into something beautiful.
Blessings
Renee,
You spoke at my church ladies retreat a few years ago in Marble Falls, TX outside of Austin. Since then I have been receiving the Proverbs 31 emails daily.
I have 2 girls, ages 5 1/2 and 1. I love them with all my heart and they are precious to me. But, yesterday and Monday I was practically yelling at my husband that I had failed as a mom and that I couldn’t do it any more! And, I actually said, “I don’t even know where to start to change it.” This morning, after I got the oldest off to school and the youngest was still asleep, I sat down and saw my Proverbs 31 email and it said, “Knowing Where to Start.” As I read your words I knew for certain that it was God speaking to me. He heard my cry and spoke to me. I am eager to surrender this area of my life over to God. This truly was the “Encouragement for the Day” for me. Thank you for sharing your journey with me. God knew that I needed to hear it.
I will be praying for you today and thanking God for your devotion to Him!
Sincerely,
Amy
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Thanks for today’s devotion. This is exactly where I am at and needed this boost to keep me going. My children are 5, 8 and 11. Thanks.
Renee, thank you so much for your devotional today; it was such a blessing to me!! i have 5 children, ages 15,8,6,3,&2 and have spent the last year struggling with feeling like a failure. my dad, age 59, is dying of alzheimers disease and between trying to manage my grief over him, plus trying to be a godly mom to my 5 babies, i often times feel so inadequate. your devotion today was a wonderful reminder that God see's me so different than i see myself and that He is my gold miner. what a precious reminder to dig for the gold in my children as well; it's so easy to see the "dirt" rather than the gold. Thank you for being faithful to share what God puts on your heart.
In Him,
patty
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Your devotional was well received by my heart. I have 2 children, 9 and 7. I struggle with being a “good mom” everyday. 🙂 I would love to read either of the books you are recommending today. A friend recently recommended “Revolutionary Parenting” and now you have too! Have a safe trip to Houston!!
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thanks for your honesty and encouragement! Please enter me in your drawing. thanks for the great resources.
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I love this series. Your so encouraging and I look forward to the posts daily. Thank you for another great one. I love the description of how one doesn’t go in the mine looking for dirt but goes in looking for gold.
Have a blessed day.
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Thanks so much for sharing. God knows exactly when we need to hear words of encouragement. Just this morning I was feeling overwhelmed in my role as a MOM. I work full time and have 2 wonderful children ages 12 & 7. My oldest is having a difficult time in school and I was beating myself up because I feel as if I don't do enough to help her academically or encourage her the way she needs me to.
But praise God, that He is not finished yet. If He was, Lord knows where we would end up.
God Bless you!
Melissa
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Just this morning, my husband and I were discussing our girls’ behavior. They are 6 and 8. His method of discipline is not my style.(lots of yelling) I prefer to lovingly correct my children, but neither way seems to work. They both have a lot of “gold” qualities and I am praying for God’s guidance as we try to parent our children in a loving yet disciplined way.
Thanks for the uplifting encouragement. It is so easy become negative and feel like we are failing as moms, since we don’t often get encouragement for a job well done, a glowing performance review or a raise on a paycheck to remind us how well we are doing. It is sometimes a struggle to pour ourselves out into something that may not yeild dividends for 5, 10 or even 20 or more years. But I try to remember that God will bless our attempts eventually, even though it may be years and years from now. I have 4 kids ages 10 1/2, 9 5 and 3 1/2 years, and too often forget that there is a purpose in all the endless dirt digging. I needed the reminder that I can’t forget to look for the gold, and not just see the dirt!
Blessings,
Shelly
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Your devotion today is perfect for the struggle I have been experiencing- I have wanted to quit because I just can’t do it – do it all- I am trying to reconnect with God so that I can feel His presence and hear Him in all I do- especially parenting.
I have 2 (5yr and 3yrs)
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I just loved your devotional today. As a mom of three, a 17 year son and boy/girl twins that are 14 I spent a lot of time when they were younger looking for gold. Each child presented new specks of gold in the different areas of their lives. Today we continue looking for gold but cherish the gold we have found. I love being a mom and wish I didn’t have to work full-time so I could spend more recreational time with my children.
Thanks for sharing your story..
Suzanne…[email protected]
Wow, what a great devotion, I really needed to hear that. I have five children ages 13, 11, 9, 6, and 3. I recently had foot surgery and have days where I am so down on myself for not being up to par and needless to say when I am hard on myself I don’t make it any easier for my children either. Digging for the gold is a wonderful example and I plan to work on that not only on my kids but on myself and how God sees me as well. God is using you in an awesome way, thank you and God Bless. [email protected]
Renee, I cannot tell you how much I relate to your “feeling like a failure” days. I feel that way every day. I definitely need to learn how to look for the gold in my children, rather than the dirt.
I have an 8 y.o. daughter and a son who will be 6 next month…and is starting to get into trouble at school b/c he’s BORED! How do you discipline that?!
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Thanks for the encouragment. I’m going to remember to look past the dirt and look for the “gold” in my 10 year old daughter instead!
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Jonda
Thank you for making me realize that there is “gold” in my daughters’ hearts and that I should concentrate in digging for gold rather than messing with the dirt (the winning, the arguments, the bad attitude, etc).
I think that as Christians we are called to discipline our children and the best way to accomplish that is leading by example. Gold takes time to be found and then takes even more time to be shaped into something beautiful.
Blessings
Renee, I realy enjoyed your devotional today! This is the first time I’ve read your blog. Today just happens to be my 38th birthday. Jeff and I have 3 children, two girls and one boy; Cortney 17, Casey 13, and Jeffy Jr 3. So needless to say our lives are usually crazy. I’m blessed to be able to stay-at-home with Jeffy but sometimes I feel there is more pressure on me to the ‘perfect’ mom now that I’m home. Atleast when I worked I felt like I had an excuse when things went wrong or things didn’t get done. I know this is my calling from God right now, and that this is such a short season in life. He reminds me daily to enjoy those little nuggets of gold, overlook the dirt and dust and know all is well. I wanted you to know I am so very thankful for your courage to put our struggle out there for all of us to read. It helps to know I’m not the only mom who has impossible days and that I just need to refocus on Him. Thank You! Pam ([email protected])
Hi Renee,
Oh man am I just exactly in this spot. Every day the devotional is applicable to my life but today I don’t think I have ever connected quite as much. I have a 7 (almost 8) year old and a 7 month old. Life is crazy hectic. I work two jobs both of which I really love, plus being a mom to my two kids. With my husband in school, it is really important that I work right now. In a year or two when he finishes up, there is hope that I will cut back to part time with only one position and the role of a part time stay at home mom.
I think with the huge age difference – its often an uphill battle. With my little boy Reece I am working on responsibility for his “things” from homework to returning notes and library books, to picking up clothes, putting away his jacket and shoes, and not smarting off, etc….on the other hand with the baby, Rylee, we are in the midst of teething, and establishing a bed time routine (and its not going well) and not sleeping and she has discovered teeth can bite mommy too. Its a daily struggle but your story reminded me that this too is a struggle and a burden that God wants to carry for me – what an awesome truth!
Thanks for your words – that continue to point me back to the One who gladly carries it all for me!
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Mel