Today I have a devotion on Crosswalk and at Proverbs 31 about the day I almost quit being a mom. It was a really hard day. But it really was the day I started “becoming” the mom I always wanted to be. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t become that kind of mom until I understood God’s perspective of me as His child.
When I finished writing in my journal that day, I sat down to do some work and happened upon a story about Andrew Carnegie that completely changed my perspective as a mom and as a child of God. Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America in the early 1900s, so wealthy that he employed over 42 millionaires. When asked how he developed these men to become so valuable that he would pay them that much money, Carnegie explained that “men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold, but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt — one goes in looking for gold.”
Zig Ziglar tells this story in his book, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, and then challenges moms and dads to look past their children’s mistakes and mine for gold in them, fully convinced that every child has gold hidden in their hearts just waiting to be discovered.
I was buried in the dirt that day. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was discouraged and so disappointed in myself. And I was convinced that God felt the same way about me. Then I started wishing I had a “gold-miner” in my life who would see beyond my mistakes and mishaps and find the gold in me. I almost inflated some black balloons and threw a little pity-party.
It was then that I sensed God whisper to my heart, “I am that Gold-miner.” He reminded me that I was the one who was being so critical of myself. I was the one who was so focused on what I didn’t do right. I felt like He whispered, “Renee, I see the gold of My image in you, and I want to bring it to the surface in your heart so that your kids could see Me in you.”
He also reminded me of stories and verses in the Bible that tell me He sees beyond who I am to who I can become. I knew this was God speaking because I didn’t think like that 10 years ago. I didn’t believe Him in an instant, either. No, it would take time for me to really let those truths sink in. But that day He used His thoughts to give me a new perspective of Him, and of myself. Then He challenged me to look for ways to have that same perspective with my children.
As a mom, it’ so easy to get buried in the dirt of discontentment, disobedience and mommy discouragement. That day I wondered: where is the gold in it all?
But after reading Ziglar’s challenge and hearing God challenge my heart, I thought about the difference it could make for my children to know I was intent on finding the gold within them. I wasn’t sure what the gold would look like but I figured if it was there, God could help me find it. So, I asked Him to show me and then I started writing down my thoughts. Two things came to mind – golden attitudes and golden actions.
I made a column for each and listed character traits like kindness, obedience, honesty, thankfulness, and compassion. I decided to look up Bible verses that tied in with the traits and wrote them down beside each one. Those not-so-golden traits needed to be addressed too, so I made a column for the dirt that buries the gold – anger, selfishness, whining, arguing, jealousy, pride, etc.
That night I went to bed thinking about what happened that day. For the first time in months, I was excited about my role as a mom. I felt like God was telling me to take my eyes off of my children’s habits and focus on their hearts. Finally I felt like there may be some meaning in the monotony! I had a goal and hope for some progress as a parent. Tomorrow I’ll share more. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
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Today’s Mom Give-Aways
Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources – a copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD and George Barna’s “Revolutionary Parenting”. We’ll be giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!
To be part of today’s give-aways, click on the words “comments” below this post. I’d love to know how old your kids are, and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!
This message came at a crucial time for my family. We are a blended family – my husband has three, I have one – and we are struggling to find a way to combine what was two separate parenting styles into one. There has been a lot of stress in our house and hurtful words spoken. We all need to dig through the dirt to find the gold. I need to take the time to work on myself, and become the mom I want to be so that I can guide these children into becoming the adults I want them to be.
Thank you for your words. I am hoping that they will help me to work on myself and create a better home for my family.
Wow! Your devotional today showed me that I have gold-miners in my life that keep me positive, and encourages me to become a gold-miner in the lives of my children and spouse. My boys are 8 and 4, and your nugget of wisdom will help me design a plan to shape them into emotionally strong men, rather than just running along beside them, trying to correct as we go. Thank you!
Heather West – [email protected]
This is so good. I think mining for gold not only applies to our children, but the other people in our lives, too. What if we mine for gold in our husbands? Seeing his heart, and not his faults? Seeing the amazing way he fathers his children? How about the people we come in contact with every day? Instead of being judgmental about people, find a good quality to thank God for…maybe even tell that person about the “gold” you see in them. Give a boost to their day.
This devotional has really inspired me with my children! It’s true that we get so bogged down with the monotony of the day-to-day, that we miss the flecks of gold that shine through our children at various points throughout the day. If we thank God for those, and really look for them, how encouraged we’ll be throughout the day!
Thanks you!!
Casey
Great “goldminer” message. It has really made me
mindful of the job that I am called to do and continue to do. It is a timely message not only for those with
young kids but for the teenager as well. My kids are
14,17 and 18.
It is also a beautiful picture of God’s patience and love for us- his diamonds in the rough!!
Blessings,
Gretchen
Wow. I read your devotion and it was exactly what I needed today. My oldest son has been a super challenge lately and I’ve gotten to the point of just throwing up my hands. The pink slip sounds good too. I don’t know what else to do. I’m at the end of my rope. But I realize that is usually where God is, right there waiting at the end of my rope. You made me realize that I’m probably talking a lot about the dirt these days. I know the gold is there. I’ve seen it, but I’m not mining for it. I’m too focused on all the dirt. I would love more information on how you did it. Did you talk with your child about gold character and gold attitude or was that something just between you and God that you prayed about. Parenting is really hard, but its so hard because we care so much about how they turn out. A group of my friends are going out tonight to your event. My hubby is out of town this week so I couldn’t go, but I can’t wait to hear about it!!Blessings to you!
Amie (ages 8, 6, 4, 2)
[email protected]
I don’t usually comment on these sites, but the Lord has lead me to do so. I am a mom of three beautiful daughters. These “babies” are 32, 28, and 25. I had those times where I wanted to quit. I actually went on “strike” once. As moms we want to do everything right and be those super women God never intended us to be. I wish I knew about the gold mining in my day. The wonderful thing is that now I have grandchildren and a way to help my daughters not make the same mistakes. I was not totally committed to my Lord back then. At 52 I finally have committed my entire life to Him.
Being in such a wonderful place with my Lord and seeing my grandchildren growing up knowing Him and lifting their little hands in praise is amazing! As grandparents we too can help find the gold in those babies. What a pleasure and honor to have a second chance to do it right.
My daughters teach Sunday school for the little ones at church and are active in Upwards basketball, the Lord has brought out the gold and broken some cycles that were painful and hurtful.
Thank you for reminding me that as a grandmother, I too can help search for that gold and guide my daughters away from the “Super Mom” complex. It is only with our Lord’s help that we can become excellent in any area of our lives.
It took me a long time to even think there was gold in me and now the Lord has blessed me with a gold mine in my grandchildren, and a knowledge that I too am gold in His sight.
Blessings to you.
Nana
Truly needed to “hear” that one. I am a parent of a teenage son, almost 15, and an elementary age daughter, almost 6. I intend to do some intense thinking and searching, with God’s help, into “mining for gold” in my children’s hearts. My daughter has been diagnosed with pediatric bipolar disorder so is a daily challenge. My son feels so left out sometimes. I do feel like such a failure at times and there have been so many times that I questioned God about giving these children to me. I have never been sure I’m up to this particular challenge. Being raised by a bipolar mother, not a lot of mining for gold was done in me. What a new and delightful way of looking at things. Thank you so much.
I take such comfort that we as Moms are all in this together. I really do. Wow, ladies, we have the HARDEST job in the world. So many times what gets me through when I’m ready to hand in my “pink slip” is knowing I’m not alone in this and then I remember whose Arms I belong to. And at the same time I say to myself His grace is enough to get me through today. I could get very overwhelmed thinking what lies ahead for me as a Mom as I’ve learned from you all. Since I have a 2 1/2 year old son, I know there is quite a long road ahead of me and oh so many challenges lie ahead to raise my boy.
Lisa V in NJ
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I already posted a note today, but I realized that I am a few days behind in reading the devotions. I really needed the verse about God being my shield and protector and giving me victory. I feel like today is a new day and that I can begin to change today how I parent our children. It is amazing how quickly God answers prayer. I feel like a different person than 15 minutes ago. Praise God!!! [email protected] (L-almost 10, S-7, G 5 1/2, T-almost 3, and D-almost 5 months.)
I stumbled across your devotion this morning and I do not believe that it was by accident. I have reached a point in my life where, for right now, I have time to really reflect on the kind of mom I am and have been for the past ten years. I have two boys, ages 10 and 8. My oldest suffers from ADHD and it has really burdened my heart in the past few months. Added to the fact that we have recently relocated to a large city from a small rural area and taken him from the only place he has ever known, I have felt discouraged. God is really showing me through His word that he will sustain me through this time. Thank you for the encouraging words. I will lift your ministry up in prayer today!
Melissa
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Renee, thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I just woke up and felt like “here goes another day”. Even though I know God has awesome things planned for my children, it’s sure easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day monotony. My children are 11, 9 and 7 and my 7-year-old is the one that we really struggle with. He is ADHD/ADD and some OCD thrown in there as well, so each day is a challenge and a struggle. Thank you for reminding me to call on God and not to do this on my own.
Blessings!
([email protected])
Thanks God that I read you today! I have two children: a beautiful three-year-old girl who is Mikhaela and a two-weeks-old baby boy called Samuel. This is so new for me. I really would like to feel that I am giving each of them my 100 % but instead I feel I am sharing my self wih them and not in a fair way. Mikhaela wants to play with me but her brother demands a lot of my attention changing the diappers, nursing, … Sometimes I am tired beause I don’t sleep straight all night long I just want to take a nap but she doesn’t she just wants to spend some time with me and I love it but I can hardly find the strenght. I want to be the perfect mother. I feel really bad when I realize that I have spent most of the day saying: Mikhaela don’t do this don’t do that, you are not behaving your self, etc I just want to find the gold as you wrote in your article and encourage her every day, bolding her best things, teaching her how much God loves her through the love my husband and I give to her and her brother with facts not only words. I want our home be a place full of harmony and peace and this is possible only with the presence of God so I want to be the one who invites God every day to stay and I learnt today the only thing I need to do is to surrender and He will lead me to be the mom He wants me to be.
Wonderful devotion!
I have two daughters ages 8 and 9.
[email protected]
Angela
Thank you for your daily devotional via email. It really challenges me to step up. Todays devotion about mothering really struck home. I have 4 boys (16,14,13,12). They are all great kids but there have been times that the shear volume, sound and number, can make my mothering quite a challenge. You want to give them all attention for the GOLD but there are times when the DIRT gets more attention. Thanks for reminding me that God searches our hearts for the gold and pushes the dirt aside as we should do for our children. I have seen some great glimmers of gold in my children and sometimes that is what I choose to ignore. Starting today I will celebrate all those glimmers. Maybe as I celebrate, the gold will become more revealed and the dirt will fall away!!!! I AM GOING FOR THE GOLD!!!!!!! mE
Thank you for your devotion today! WOW! Does it hit home! As a homeschooling Mom, I have those thoughts often. Next time I’ll look for the “gold”!!
Kristi
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Renee, your devotion is so timely for me. I have an 11, 8 almost 6 and recently adopted 2 year old and boy do I feel like a failure. Your words have helped me change my perspective. I love the Psalms 19:35 verse in the P31 devotional. It will now be added to my daily prayer.
Thanks for your blessings – Monica
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Renee,
Your blog hits me at a time in my life where I too have been feeling the strain of being a ‘good’mom. I am a mom of 4, two daughters ages 11 and 5; and two step-sons ages 10 and almost 9. I have been the full-time mom of 4 for almost three years now. It has been a blessing, but at the same time it has been a very rough road. We have battled finding out if my (almost)9 yr. old step son has Autism, or a learning disability along with finding out if his brother has a ‘tic’ disorder. Thank God for grace and patience and blessing us with the finances that I am able to stay home and work with my children, go to school part time, and work with our youth group at church!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart, it has trully blessed me this morning and given me a positive outlook on the day!
Natosha Sturgill
[email protected]
Thank-you for your much needed encouragement today. [email protected]
I just joined Proverbs 31 and followed the link here.
I love how God always gives me a devotion that I need for that day.
I have two boys who are 16 & 14 yrs old.
I really needed to hear this today. We have a 3 1/2 and a 5 1/2 yr old. We are struggling through some anger and sensory issues with our oldest. At the end of most days I am left feeling discouraged and like a terrible mom. I often question why I deserve to have these children when I don’t seem to bring out the best in them. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for the challenge to find the gold in my children. I hope to start enjoying being a mom every day as I set out on this journey.
[email protected]
I have a 10 year old son who is homeschooled and a 2 1/2 year old daughter who loves learning right along side big brother. I too at times have flet like turning in my pink slip. This post really toched me and gave me new hope that I can do this job. Thank you for the inspiration.
Emily
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Oh, how I can relate to your devotional and blog. I am a mother of 3 girls (6,4 and 19 months) with another baby due in 5 weeks. I have said the “I quit” and “I can’t do this anymore” words more often than I’d like to admit. Thanks for encouraging me to look beyond myself and see the God who sustains me, loves me, and gives me strength. It’s a journey and a process, but with Him all things are possible.
my e-mail is [email protected]
God always leads me to just the right message to sooth my heart — and today it’s yours. Thank you for being so open and honest about your struggles. It helps many to know they are not alone.
I had a tough day yesterday with my 10 YO son. He was defiant, sullen, angry and abusive all day long. I felt like a parental failure because my child had this attitude. Your analogy of dirt and gold helped me remember that today is a new day to start looking for that gold in my child and to be patient enough to brush away the dirt to find it.
Thank you!
Prayers for safe travels and a beautiful relationship-filled experience,
NC
God’s timing is incredible (as usual!), today’s devotional could have been written just for me. It is 10:12pm here in Australia right now and I have just had a ‘covered in dirt’ day. I have a 2 year old and a 5 and a half year old – both boys. I ‘gave-up’ and ‘quit’ numerous times today, but I’m still here, hoping and praying that tomorrow will be ‘gold’. It is wonderful to read or talk with others and to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way, and I am not the ‘failure’ I feel like on days like this.
Thank you for your great devotionals,
Tanya
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Oh what a wonderful thought of mining for gold! At this time, I'm really covered in dirt & mud. I homeschool my 3, ages 12, 8 & 6, & yesterday was just awful w/ the oldest. I was ready to push her out the door to PS. It breaks my heart… to even really consider it. DD is not a bad kid, just needs a new heart a'tude concerning responsibilities.
I'm going to check the library for the books that you mentioned. I need a "nugget" or two.
Thank you for the devotionals at PR31. I look forward to starting my day with you all!
[email protected]
Thank you for your encouragement. I love reading your blog. I am a mother of two girls, 3 and 6.
[email protected]
God knew I needed just this for today. I do feel like a failure as a mom and very desperate and discouraged that I am the one burying my children in the dirt instead of mining for the gold. We just moved cross country one thousand miles 4 weeks ago to a cold climate and left all of our dear friends and church family behind. I hardly slept at all last night and ended up having a nightmare on top of it. I so want to mine for gold in all 5 of my children’s hearts and for them to become all that God has created them to be. (L-almost 10, S-7,
G- 5 1/2, T-almost 3, and D-almost 5 months. God’s blessings to you for the encouragement you give to others.
Renee, thank you for this devotional today. Only yesterday I talked to my kids, son 13 and daughter 16 about renewing their devotional time with God.
It is an area of their lives that I find they are slipping in, but I realize in the midst of my busy days of moving and all else recently I too have been slipping. So I realize that it’s my example they are living. In thinking about it, I felt so condemned, like oh my, I am slipping again in my effort to draw closer to God.
Thank you for your reminder that we can’t do it without God.
Bless you
Vickie
Renee, thank you for sharing these words today and I thank God for leading me to your story. I was sitting on my couch TRYING to concentrate and stay focused on God. I feel so disconnected from Him right now and it feels so lonely. Each devotion this week has reminded me that God NEVER leaves me or forsakes me, but why can’t I hear Him anymore?
History. My children are all boys, ages 7,6 and 5. My husband and I struggled with 3 miscarriages and 4 unsuccessful intrauterine inseminations before God revealed His Amazing Plan A of adoption to us. Our first two boys are bio brothers from Russia and our third child is our Asian angel from China. He has special needs and will need major reconstructive surgeries this year.
God has blessed us with these amazing children, but each day I question why He chose me to be their mother? I feel so incompetent and wonder how all the other super moms keep it all together. Many encouragers lead me books they have read on parenting, but WHO HAS TIME TO READ??? Sorry, but my few moments of quiet time include a quick devotion and prayer.
I feel guilty complaining because God has blessed us so!! I love my children and my husband and I want to give each of them my best every day. I want them to see Christ in me each day but I seem to fail each day.
Joy, your comment reminds me of Isaiah 45. “I will go before you and level the mountains,I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD,the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”
There is NO DOUBT in my mind that God called us to bring our children home. Please pray for me as I struggle with parenting issues and pray that God will send someone to me and help me discover my own gold. I know that it is there, but my own insecurities keep me blinded.
Sorry this is so long and thanks for “listening”.
Pamela
Thank you for reminding me to stop being so critical of myself. I don’t want to turn into a critical mother! My desire is to encourage the good, loving, obedient behavior that I do see in my 2 year old! Thank you!
Jessica
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I “stumbled” onto your site from Crosswalk – I feel like it was an answer to my prayers. I have three boys – ages 15, 13, and 10. I have been in turmoil over my youngest son, Noah. He is very emotional and seems angry about everything. Whenever anything doesn’t go the way he wants – he says that I hate him. God has shown me that I just need to keep reaffirming my love for him. My prayer is that God would help him to perceive my love and His love. To have the idea of mining for Gold is great! I’m so thankful that God sees the Gold and reminds me daily of His love for me. Being a mom has been more complicated and difficult than I ever could have imagined! Thank you for the encouragement!
Choosing Hope,
Janet
[email protected]
Renee, Thanks for your encouragement, it was just what I needed today as I have often been feeling like a failure lately. We are currently living with my inlawas and have been for the past 6 months while we are waiting for our home to be built and this has been a hard adjustment for all the kids…ages 8,6,4,1 complete with lots of acting out. We are all used to having schedules, plans, and strict rules but that just isn’t possible when you are often living with 14 people and a dog under the same roof. I certainly understand my kids’ behavior with all the difficult circumstances right now, but there is LOTS of moments for me to feel discouraged as a result. Thanks for your reminder today that I’m not on my own…it sure feels that way a lot!
Jennifer…[email protected]
Renee, thanks for your devotion and your blog today. Each day has been so fulfilling for me. Have a safe trip!
Renee,
Thank you for your P31 devotional as well as your story of what happened next. I needed the reminder that I am the one being so self-critical. I also needed the reminder that my children need to see God in me.
I have five children; my eldest just turned twelve and my youngest is four. I homeschool them and I have to admit there are times I want to turn in my pink slip! Mining for gold – an easily remembered metaphor of what we’re really doing. Thank you for sharing that story as part of your own.
Lisa White
Wow! I sure needed that! I woke up at 4am thinking about my role as a mom and decided to finally get up. I read the devotion for today and I needed it! I have a very strong-willed child and it is hard to find the gold that I know is somewher inside of her. Thanks!
[email protected]
~Michele
I’m at home at the moment, ill in bed and looking after my granddaughter while my daughter is at work. I feel ill, discouraged and an awful failure. I just read your post and God spoke to my heart. I was born in the same town as Andrew Carnegie! I need our ‘Gold Miner’ to dig away at my dirt, before I can begin to dig at that of my children – who are all grown up but still live close but are all unsaved. Thank you, and pray for me to keep close while God ‘digs’ at my dirt to find the gold inside me. Blessings
Renee, loved your devotional today. It reminded me that not only with our role as a parent do we often have to come to the end of ourself to give that full surrender to God, but it has to happen in all areas of our life – so even those reading this without children could relate to that example.
I am so thankful for others who searched for gold in my life. Mining for gold takes time. There can be days when it feel futile because none is unearthed, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there…it just is buried deeper. Gold is always worth the effort to find it. We just have to keep digging. The treasure will be worth the time.
Praying for you as you fly to Houston today. May the Lord give you His peace that passes understanding as you look forward to tomorrow. Wish I was there too!
Love, prayers and hugs,
Joy
I am not yet a mom of two but I will be in 7 months. I have a wonderful one year old, but let me tell you I swear at the breakfast table I prayed this exact prayer. Being pregnant with a super active one year old has drained me completely. I don’t feel adequate as a Mom, as a wife, as a leader in Ministry. I don’t know how moms of multiple children do it. Routine is out the door, a clean house is out the door, and my sanity certainly is out the door. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone. I have a wonderful husband, but he just doesn’t know what I mean by needing help. I guess I need to show him better. Thanks for sharing your heart, it certainly helps young mothers out here!
Renee,
Thank you so much for your words today. I am a stay at home mom of four children, ages 15 to 2, with a loving husband. We are a blended family which brings in its own challenges. I recently gave my husband the “pink slip” as well. He’s been doing his best to pick me up and dust me off… reminding me that the Lord will carry me through each day. I love your story about gold mining… that we need to look past all the dirt to get to the gold within our children. I often wondered how the “super moms” could get their children dressed and out the door on time for church… or get their children to listen to them in the grocery store. I feel that I need to dig past all the dirt in my life to find Gods gold within myself.
Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Kathleen
I have only yesterday subscribed to the daily Proverbs 31 devotionals, but how they have blessed me in just two days time. Our children are 10, 9, 7 and 2. I have felt really challenged lately to begin to make God a bigger focus personally and within our family. Thanks for reminding me that I am a child of God, and that He seeks the gold hidden in me. I am asking for His help in seeking the gold within each of my children too!
~Jen
[email protected]
Thanks for this encouragement and the follow up. It’s become very helpful to me. I have four children, ages 13, 8, 5, and 3 and no matter how old they get and how much I think I’ve learned about parenting, new challenges arise. Mining for gold is something the Lord has put on my heart for many years with my children and used you to remind me of that. Thanks again!
Sara Jo Poff
[email protected]
Your devotions are always so eye opening and love how universal they are. I have a little boy that is 2 and could definately apply this with him.
wow, look how the comments have grown. This is really catching on. I'm so thankful you're doing this.
I heard your interview on KSBJ with Liz Jordan yesterday! WooHoo, I can't wait until tomorrow. GNO!!!
Paula G.
Hi, I really needed this today. I have a nine year old girlie girl that I homeschool and a 5 year old B-O-Y. He’s not just a boy, he a B-O-Y boy. There are times when I can see the gold in him, and I do see the dirt too. I’m just afraid that when (and if) I send him to school, or wherever we go, no one else will see the gold through the dirt!
My 9yo is generally easy to deal with, although pretty emotional…but what girl isn’t???
I guess I need to start by making a list of their positive traits and share that with them. It’s far easier for me to be critical than positive, and I don’t want my critical-ness to rub off on my kids (anymore than it already has!) Thanks for giving me a starting point!
[email protected]
I loved the devotional and blog post today. I have 3 little girls – ages 5, 3 1/2 and 2.
Thank you for the reminder that God always sees the gold in us and to let Him be our goldminer..
Kim
WOW! Thank you so much for this devotion!!! I am a mom of 6 boys ~ ages 20, 19, 16, 14, 10, and 3. I love them all dearly and I can definitely relate…
I go through the “What kind of mom am I?” thoughts every few months. Mostly because of the age differences. Each of boys are going through different stages in their lives that I have now realized to put on a different hat for each age. That has helped me alot. Step back and realize which one I am talking to and put on the appropriate age hat.
Your devotion has given me another angle to work from. Pastor has been doing bible studies on winning the hearts of our children and this really ties in with it. But you really brought it home to me. “Don’t look at their faults…look at their hearts!”
I have fully surrendered to God and I looking forward to becoming a Gold-Mining Mom ~ with the guidance and strength of the Lord Jesus Christ!
Thank you for being a blessing me today!
Kelley
Renee,
I don’t know why, but yesterday was one of those discouraging days for me. Well, I take that back, I do know why. I was not able to have any time in The Word yesterday. The closest I got was your blessing of a blog! Anyway, my young children (age 5,4,2, and 10 months)deserved better yesterday and I did not measure up. I want so much to apply the parenting advice that I have been following each day on your blog! Yesterday was not that day. Frustration and aggravation erupted in harshness all day long. I love my children so much and I know I am blessed to be a stay-at-home mom but yesterday I felt extremely overwhelmed!
But God is so good! He always knows just what I need and today it was that very reminder posted! Thank you again for the encouragement. It was SO needed this morning.
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Things like this just confirm my faith in God. You see, I too am down on my knees saying that I can’t do this anymore. I am currently in a custody battle for my 13 year old DD whos birth father has suddenly decided after 12 1/2 years that he wants to be involved in her life. His idea of involvement is letting her listen to very inappropriate music, post provacative pictures of herself online, and expose her to drug use. She has developed a “me first” mentality since being around him and views my husband and I as the enemies that are preventing her from doing what she wants. In addition I have a 9 year old daughter who has begun to mimic my 13 year old because she has always looked up to her. I also have a 10 year old son with ADHD that is trying very hard to turn around the opinion of many of the teachers at school who view him as the “troublemaker”. This year he has a teacher that looks for the best in him and is helping him to make the turn around. (she is definately a blessing from God) I also have a 5 month old baby that came along unexpectedly. When my husband and I found out we were going to have a new addition we were not sure how we would make it work. I had returned to college to get my degree when my youngest started kindergarten, and I still have about 3 semesters left to complete. However, family comes first so I am again a SAHM. The pressures of parenting and my feeling of failure with the behavior of my older girls was getting overwhelming. Then I read your devotion on Proverbs 31. I feel like God used you to encourage me not to “turn in my pink slip”. I sat down and began to think about the gold in them, and realized that I had been focusing on the dirt and that made me feel like a failure. Seeing their gold helped me to realize that I have planted seeds and that I can use these current situations to help those seeds grow in them. Thank you for the encouragement and for your willingness to admit you aren’t a perfect mom either. Perhaps if more of us moms would be willing to share our fears, feelings of inadequacies, concerns etc we might not feel such a need to do it on our own because we think we see others doing so.
I already posted a note today, but I realized that I am a few days behind in reading the devotions. I really needed the verse about God being my shield and protector and giving me victory. I feel like today is a new day and that I can begin to change today how I parent our children. It is amazing how quickly God answers prayer. I feel like a different person than 15 minutes ago. Praise God!!! [email protected] (L-almost 10, S-7, G 5 1/2, T-almost 3, and D-almost 5 months.)
Thanks God that I read you today! I have two children: a beautiful three-year-old girl who is Mikhaela and a two-weeks-old baby boy called Samuel. This is so new for me. I really would like to feel that I am giving each of them my 100 % but instead I feel I am sharing my self wih them and not in a fair way. Mikhaela wants to play with me but her brother demands a lot of my attention changing the diappers, nursing, … Sometimes I am tired beause I don’t sleep straight all night long I just want to take a nap but she doesn’t she just wants to spend some time with me and I love it but I can hardly find the strenght. I want to be the perfect mother. I feel really bad when I realize that I have spent most of the day saying: Mikhaela don’t do this don’t do that, you are not behaving your self, etc I just want to find the gold as you wrote in your article and encourage her every day, bolding her best things, teaching her how much God loves her through the love my husband and I give to her and her brother with facts not only words. I want our home be a place full of harmony and peace and this is possible only with the presence of God so I want to be the one who invites God every day to stay and I learnt today the only thing I need to do is to surrender and He will lead me to be the mom He wants me to be.