In my devotion today on Crosswalk and Proverbs 31 Ministries, I talked about a situation where I felt frustrated and completely helpless as a mom. So I asked for God’s help and He came through with a powerful promise to help my son become a can-do kid, and help me become a can-do mom!
Andrew moved beyond who he was to who he could become with God’s help. He learned (and is still learning) that he can do all things through Christ who gives him strength, (Phil. 4:13). It’s a spiritual lesson that’s become part of his spiritual legacy. A lesson that’s lasted for years. He was four when it happened and he just turned eleven yesterday!
Monday we talked here about our calling to teach God’s truths to our kids in everyday moments. All throughout January, I’ll be sharing on my blog about becoming a D6 family based on God’s instructions in Deuteronomy 6:5-9. I’ll also be partnering with the D6 conference/ministry each weekday to give away resources to encourage you and your kids along the way.
My story in today’s devotion a D6 moment when I saw what it meant to live out the principles in Deuteronomy 6 – to pass on God’s promises as we go along. God showed me real life application of His Word in the middle of a motherhood meltdown.
And the lesson lingered. It’s been applicable in the days that followed. A year or so afterwards, we were getting ready to leave for school and Joshua offered to help Andrew feed the dogs. Andrew smiled and said, “No thanks. I don’t need help. I’m a can-do kid!”
Just yesterday Andrew was struggling with anxiety. I shared how I have worries, too, and described how I write them down and give them to God. We talked about living in today and not tomorrow until it gets here. Then I read him the devotion and reminded him that he’s a can-do kid who can trust God with His concerns. Then we prayed Philippians 4:13, claiming once again that he can do all things through Christ who gives Him strength. He smiled so big and thanked me for reminding him.
My prayer today is that God will show us all D6 moments with our children so we can help them become can-do kids in Christ!
I also wanted to share promises God used with Gideon in Judges 6 to help him become a can-do kid:
- I am with you. v.12 When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.”
- Focus on the strength you have. v.14 The LORD turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”
- You can do it! Remember, I am with you. v.16 The LORD answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together.”
I didn’t realize it then, but as I look back I see practical ways I applied this process and these promises with Andrew that day in the kitchen:
- I drew his attention away from something he couldn’t do and focused it toward something he could do.
- I showed him how to do it, and then I did it with him.
- Once he gained his confidence, I stepped back and watched as he completed his assignment with success.
- We celebrated the reality of his new name and talked about how good it felt to do new things.
God is so good! I love that these steps we can take with our children in various situations as we become a Can-Do Moms who are raising Can-Do Kids!
Copyright 2009. Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
We’re giving away two D6-mom resources today, that includeone copy of “Revolutionary Parenting” and one copy of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child“ CD and chart to be selected from your comments today. Be sure to include your email in your comment so we can contact you if you win the give-away. Here are some things I’d love to know:
Has there been a time when you were able to share a promise or spiritual truth with your child in an everyday life moment? What hinders you or helps you look for those teachable moments? Are there other ways you are passing on your faith to your child? I’d love to hear your thoughts, stories and/or questions.
Every Friday, we’ll be giving away two tickets to the D6 Conference. So be sure to come back for more encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!
Be sure to include your email so we can contact you if you win the give-away.
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I struggle with this issue but with my daughter, who is sweet and very sensitive and gives up at the first sign of trouble or mental discomfort. She is 7 and I wonder if we’ll ever get past this. I’ve tried to draw her out by practicing with her or letting her know that I fail all the time and it’s OK.
Hi Renee
What a blessing it has been to have your daily emails and to read the comments shared by so may that encourage parents,facing difficult times.I am one of those mothers .
I have a 9 year old daughter who has had sever allergies since the age of 9 months, we have been in an out of hospitals and doctors and they came up with Celiac disease and autoimmune conditions as well as food,drug,dye and any indoor or out door allegens.
I have taken your” D6 can do moments ” and created special times were I could help her through the rough times of “no you can’t eat that or go there or do that”.
As a parent and christian I realize how important it is to share with her how to moments and over ride the “I can’t” because they seem to be so many. At times I feel am I doing it right? and wonder can I do this Lord ? And then I read your email and again I am en powered and faith and hope renter my heart and my spirit is open to try again and that has become so wonderful for me.
Thank you for this gift.The emails, books and comments have made such an impact on my family, our church ministry and my 3 year old preschool class room.
Erica has moments were we redo “I can and I can’t ” as the school parties and field trips and special events come up, but we have found grace and joy in solving them together as a family.
Gods grace is open for all who need it and daily we have chosen to make “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”
a scripture that starts off our day difficult or not we have a goal to overcome them.
In Christ Didi Gray
My daugher is 21 months old and loves to sing and dance. She learns new words and letter sounds everyday it seems like. Last week she learned to pray. Now she will grab my hand or her dad’s hand and will close her eyes and wait for one of us to pray. She does this before we eat and usually after every bite for the first 10+ bites, when she gets buckled into her car seat, when she is sitting on the “big” potty (as we try to potty train, when sitting on the couch watching cartoons and when she goes to bed at night. It amases me how often she asks us to pray with her. She has taught me to believe like a child again.
Now she is no perfect angel…she gets mad when she doesn’t get her way. To show us she is mad she throws whatever she can grab at the moment and bangs her head on the floor until it hurts and will go pout in her room sometimes for 30 minutes or more. I tried telling her it is ok to get mad but not to act out like she does when she is mad but I don’t think she understood. Then I had to think back and review how I act when I am angry…I tend to yell and shake and point my finger at her…I had to change my reactions and start responding in Christ like manner instead of reacting first. This has helped. It amases me how much she learns from watching me. I need to watch Christ’s examples that closely as I read His word.
Thank you for reminding me to continually and constantly turn to His word for answers to life’s everyday challenges. It is so easy to slip into a wordly perspective of “how can I fix this” instead of “how does God want me to live my life and teach my children to live in obedience to Him.” Not that life doesn’t present problems and troubles, but that if I can rest in His assurance and truth, I always find that I am less likely to take it all on myself -likewise teaching my children not to live out of their own strenght!
Renee,
Thank you for yur encouragement. I home school my two children. My daughter is a true first born. She is 9 and in 4th grade. My son is 6 and we decided to start him in Kindergarten this year vs last. He has had no desire to learn. But, I’m encouraged because he is showing signs of interest. I look forward to utilizing your D6 challenge. Thank you!Jennie
I feel so blessed to be able to read your blog and learn soooo much. Thank you and everyone for all your insight. You are such an inspiration. As one of the anonymous said, I feel I don’t measure up like I should as a spiritual parent either. I feel like I struggle but pray and pray and I know God is helping me. My 9 year old and myself are learning so much together and Phil. 4:13 is posted on my fridge at home along with a few others. You are a true blessing!!
Thank you.
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Hi Renee! I also have a child who is always reluctant to try anything he might come close to failing. He is 11 years old, and has pretty much always been like this. We see this in sports and school. He is a wonderful athlete, and an average student, but just doesn’t seem to have a passion for anything. My husband and I struggle to try to find things he’s good at and encourage him in those things, because he always seems to be indifferent about everything.
My struggle is not being familiar with the Bible myself enough to know where to look for scriptures that pertain to certain issues. I would love to be able to just pull a verse out of my head to share with him during those “teachable moments”, but I don’t have them. Once I’ve taken the time to look them up (if I can even find them), I feel like I’ve lost the moment.
I was not raised in a family that went to church and we didn’t really talk about God. I have not memorized scripture and am usually not familiar with most of the Bible stories I often hear in Bible Studies, etc. I am trying to find a time during each day to spend with God, but I struggle because it’s not something I’m used to doing. I know if I can do this, it will help. But every time I try (using devotions, etc.), I don’t stick with it. I’ve prayed for God to help me in this area, but still struggle. Do you have any other suggestions for me? Any would be much appreciated. Thanks for the post!
Thank you for sharing. We have one child who is a perfectionist and sometimes won’t even try a new activity because she may fail. After reading your devotion, we will encourage her by praying the verse in Phillipians and showing her how to be a “can-do” kid!
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Thank you so much for your story about your son. I know what you mean. I have a 7 year old son and two step sons 6 and 4. Sometimes it hard for all of them to try new tasks. The 4 year old just started pre-K and has had some issues getting settled in. The other main issue we have is the children talking hateful to each other. We have recently started using scripture for them to understand that Jesus does not like hateful words. We have started using WWJD..everytime one of them talks or acts in a hateful manner, we ask them, “Would Jesus say that, would Jesus like those hateful words?” It has really seems to help. Hopefully God will continue to put words in our mouths as parents and actions in our body to raise our children to be Godly people and pass it on to the next generations!
Hi!
Thanks for your devotional this AM. I realized that my 2 year old son loves to do what he is good at (me too). Anything he has difficulty with, he just stops trying. This gives me some ideas for teaching him perseverence without discouraging him.
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Thank you so much for this post!! I have a child who is 7 and cannot tie his shoes and is constantly saying “I Cannot do this”. Among other things he struggles with doing. This helps me so much and gives me hope in that I can show him things he can do and not get so frustrated which in turn makes me sad and like a helpless parent. As the saying goes “Leave it in Gods hands and he will provide”. Again, thank you so much for your guidance and help.
I have a son who is reluctant to step out and stretch himself. The challenge is getting him to understand that God and we always expect his best. We struggle with our frustration with this challenge on a daily basis.
I have a 16 year old who believes the best way to handle life is to “do only as much as you have to” – NEVER do more than is expressly required, don’t stand out or strive for excellence and yet, won’t try things if he is not confident that he can do them well(perfectly) – he doesn’t like to make mistakes and re-try. I try to use life to bring God and scriptural truths home to him, but he is very resistant right now – so I leave him in God’s hands for I know that “I” cannot bring him to God, only God can cause him to awaken to His truth and to seek and see Him. I never did as much encouraging of him as I thought when he was younger. I was a single mother and caught up in trying to make ends meet and being overwhelmed by my circumstances. But, thanks to God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice, I have been saved and I CAN DO all things through Christ who strengthens me. His grace is sufficient to overcome my inabilities as a parent. Barbara-Ann D’Aguilar
Renee–
I’m struggling this morning with my oldest daughter, who’s in kindergarten. She’s argumentative by nature and we’re working on that, but this morning it was to the nth degree. Her motto seemed to be, ‘no matter what it is, it’s not what I wanted.’ She argued and fell apart over everything from her clothes to her toast to her boots. I know we all have bad mornings, but I also know that this is a heart issue. It just came out in a much bigger way this morning. I’m praying and searching for the right way to help her change her attitude and her heart. Perhaps developing in her an attitude of gratitude? That came to me as I prayed this morning, but not sure yet whether that was God’s suggestion or my own! Coveting prayers and suggestions,
Holly
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a much needed lesson for me today. If I am a can’t do mom then how do I teach my children to be “can-do” kids. Be careful little ears what you hear…I am going to do my best to be the Can-do Mom that they need me to be and instead of getting frustrated and overwhelmed with all of the things I think I can’t get done today, I know I can!
Oh forgot, my email is [email protected]
Caroline
Blessings to you, Renee:
Sometimes I am that child who is reluctant to try something new because I find such comfort in what I already know. I worry that this has rubbed off on my kids too! I want to be an example of trusting in Christ, knowing that I CAN DO all things because of Him, and Him alone!
Thanks for your message today; it hit home and encouraged me to be more of an encouragement to my kids!
Suzanne Bethurum
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Hi Renee,
I just read your encouraging words and can relate to the “I can’t do it” drama of a child. I have a 7 year old girl that can get pretty emotional about the silliest things, including socks…. But that is part of the fun of having a child, which can be frustrating. But through encouragement and worship our family stays strong along with a huge dose of laughter…
Thank you, I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
Caroline
Renee,
Thank you once again for sharing the truths you have learned along the way. I used the Phillipians verse with my son. His timed math fact tests have been a struggle. He knows them, but he gets flustered when he gets into a timed situation. We prayed this verse for him.
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Thanks Renee for this post! I just had a D6 moment last night with my 12 year daughter. She is a tender hearted child with a very big temper. As she moves to her teenage years the attitude of course is growing. I had several moments of discipline for that attitude last night. Before she went to bed she came and sat at the end of my bed and said "I don't know what to do?". I asked, "about what". My temper and attitude. We had a lengthy discussion about just what you discribed in your post. How you alone can't do it. But in Christ all things are possible. We talked about prayer and it's power. She didn't understand how praying could help her. So we talked about how and when to pray about her attitude. It's something I think she is going to continue to struggle with. But I know God can help her through it. And as long as we keep our eyes on him, I know she will prevail! Thanks so much for your website and daily devotions. They keep my thoughts in check everyday! ><>