It started with a cough. A few sneezes. Then a horrible headache. For days, I denied it was anything serious. Tried to convince myself I was not really sick.
Pushing through the coughing, wheezing, sinus pain and aches, I resisted slowing down.
Who else would do it all if I couldn’t?
There were deadlines and expectations to meet, laundry to do, and emails to return. We needed groceries and meals for our family of five.
A few nights of not sleeping {and a couple of hours in Urgent Care on Saturday}, my self-determination caved in. I had a respiratory virus that was being exacerbated by allergies and asthma.
In this unexpected, unwanted, “forced-slowing-down” God’s made it clear –
I have issues: unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of myself.
My heart towards me doesn’t represent His heart for me.
I have these knowing moments.
But then I fall back into pushing myself. I don’t recognize the imbalance until I’m down for the count. I have more than a respiratory virus. I have a soul virus He wants to heal.
Why is this so hard?
I don’t have the answers, but I’m asking the questions. Bending my will, asking Jesus to be my comfort. My expectation. My measure. My drive. To be my God… so I can just be me: tired, behind on my deadlines, needy me.
And this song is playing on repeat. God’s speaking. Thank you Laura Story for capturing my soul-struggle with words and melodies that melt me into His arms of Grace. I hope you’ll take just a minute to listen {and then enter below to win a copy of Laura’s new CD}. You will be so glad you did!
How does today’s post or Laura’s song speak to your heart today?
Is there some way you need to let go of your expectations of yourself or a situation and ask God to be God so you can “just be you”?
“Share your thoughts” below for a chance to win one of Laura Story’s new albums on CD.
I’ll pick three winners to each receive a CDs and a copy of my NEW Confident Heart Devotional book
Laura’s newest full studio album is officially available on iTunes. Laura is currently on tour with Steven Curtis Chapman and the Glorious Unfolding Tour. And she’s coming to Charlotte December 6th for a Girls Night Out we’re doing together with 91.9FM. More details coming soon!
Want to join me and Melissa Taylor TONIGHT on the Real Life: Confident Heart Connection Calls ? We’ll be talking with Laura about her life, her faith, the story behind “So I Can Just Be Me” and other songs on her new Album “The God of Every Story”? Find out more and sign up here!
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Love, love Laura Story’s music. This one really touched home. Dealing with ongoing chronic health issues has left me weary and hopeless. Doubting my faith is strong enough. Praying I believe but help my unbelief and especially longing for Heaven. “..Trying to belong here but it just not my home.”, perfectly articulates this. Trying to balance being in this world but not of this world is a difficult task. And when your in trials is when our faith is tested the most. Be my GOD! Thank you for sending us this song and reminding us all who our Heavenly Father is, MY GOD!
Be my God so I can just be me!! Wow…this is the answer I have been looking for most of my 50 years of life, most of which has been spent being a people pleaser and comparer of myself with others….what a relief and release I felt when she sang those words….my soul jumped up and said THAT’S IT…THAT’S THE ANSWER!!! and God whispered…this is what I have been trying to get through to you for so long now….
I almost didn’t read this email this morning. I’ve been dealing with an infection that is lasting a long time. Feeling that I just want to be normal is my plea to God, but its only on his time that I will be healed. Thank you for sharing just want I need to remind me.
Yes very true. It was like I was writing what you wrote. But about the song the cd. It’s just so spot on. I love her lyrics. They are so heart felt. Truly touched. I want the cd now for sure.
This song really spoke to me this morning. Thank you!
Wow! Great song! But I haven’t heard a song yet of hers that I haven’t liked! She gives me courage to step closer to God! And wow, a chance to win her Cd & the devotional?! What a great set of encouragement!
Laura Story writes and sings the most amazing songs. Her song moved me in so many ways!
Living with someone who has health issues which leave me drained much of the time leaves me feeling like the only one who is able to do all that needs done and my job isn’t enough to make ends meet. Your song reminds me I am not alone and that God is just waiting for me to come to Him and asking to be all those things and more in this song so I can just be me. Lord thank you for being you so I can be me! With him all things are possible in my life.
Your message this morning spoke to my heart. My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s recently. There is so much more I am responsible for now, and it can be overwhelming. I go from morning til I fall into bed exhausted at night. I know now I can rest in God, knowing that He is with me all the time, guiding me through my day. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing. I am going through some REALLY tough times in my family right now, and needed the reminder that God is in control and I don’t HAVE to be!! Worship music ministers to the very depths of my soul. God bless!
Hi Renee
Why is it that we just can let go and let God when we are feeling down, sick or overwhelm. I just finish a bible study on Jonah-a life interrupted. I believe God is trying to get my attention at these times and to call for help. Help is always what I need and He is there for me.
Working through this … this very second!! Healing from an injury & having missed some work, I am behind. I get caught up just enough to take a breath then I slip back “under the water”. This song was also written just for me! I think it’s amazing how God can show us that we’re not alone in this. If He has there be a song such as this… even the most “put together” people struggle with this! Today, I am going to let God be God.. and I am just going to be me. (with the help of The Holy Spirit.. cause I can’t do it alone!).
My own life is a reflection of words shared almost daily as a Pastor’s wife for over 28 years. Walking in the “I have to keep going because if I don’t do it or I am not there to lead worship what would happen? It doesn’t work without me!” Oh my! Wake up call! My upper respiratory infection was NOT WANTED but God knew it was time for me to “listen” and be healed as He continued to care for His people. Thank you so much for your thoughts!
What a wonderful song! Just what I needed to hear this morning. We are dealing with the “unknown”, in so many areas of our lives and WE NEED GOD. I need this song playing in my head ALL day long. Would appreciate your prayers so much. So thankful that God knows how to handle all of this…
I know I tend to try to just keep going. I have two chronic illness that compete for dominance that I try to conqueror all the time. But when they win and I need to just rest, I find that is when I am drawn closest to God. I think I struggle way to much on my own instead of just resting in letting God be God so I can be and do what I can knowing He will handle the rest and do a way better job then I could ever do!
WOW! Perfect timing for this time of year when I am trying to be the perfect hostess, the perfect daughter, the perfect mom, the perfect wife, . . . with the perfect house, meal, gift! Please be my God, Lord, so I can just be me (for You).
In 1983 my right leg was torn off at knee from an accident. God sent me the right EMTs and the Doctor in the ER room that night remembered me from church so decided to not amputate.God is good. My leg has not bothered me until the last few years. I keep trying to do what I used to do but weather and age is now catching up.Just this AM isaid to myself as I was rushing to write out scripture What are you doing slow down all the other things will still be there later.As I prayed scriptures I needed to be Just Me were in my reading God is wonderful! Thank you Renee for this Song this AM just another thing I needed at the exact moment I needed it
It’s so interesting to see all these posts that say basically the same thing…we can all relate in one way or another. I’ve said this before in other posts, one of the things I love about these bible studies is realizing that we are not alone! So many of us experience the same thoughts and or situations. It’s comforting at times knowing we are not alone. I try to be super woman all the time, and it drives my husband crazy lol! I am trying to work on slowing down and keeping still and remembering that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I now have it in my daily routine to get up early every morning and spend some time with God ( and I try not to multi task). My days are better when I do this.
I love Laura Story and her music.
I love the reminders of focusing.
When God created women, he gave us the capacity to do so many things and we know this and sometimes tend to forget that although we have all those, well I like to call them “super powers”, if we don’t refuel on the source which is God, we will eventually crash… We tend to continually tell ourselves “I got this” but we need to understand that sometimes it’s ok not to be ok and just let go and let GOD.
Thank you so much for sharing this post, I tend to make this mistake constantly and God constantly reminds be to be still and know that HE IS GOD.