It started with a cough. A few sneezes. Then a horrible headache. For days, I denied it was anything serious. Tried to convince myself I was not really sick.
Pushing through the coughing, wheezing, sinus pain and aches, I resisted slowing down.
Who else would do it all if I couldn’t?
There were deadlines and expectations to meet, laundry to do, and emails to return. We needed groceries and meals for our family of five.
A few nights of not sleeping {and a couple of hours in Urgent Care on Saturday}, my self-determination caved in. I had a respiratory virus that was being exacerbated by allergies and asthma.
In this unexpected, unwanted, “forced-slowing-down” God’s made it clear –
I have issues: unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of myself.
My heart towards me doesn’t represent His heart for me.
I have these knowing moments.
But then I fall back into pushing myself. I don’t recognize the imbalance until I’m down for the count. I have more than a respiratory virus. I have a soul virus He wants to heal.
Why is this so hard?
I don’t have the answers, but I’m asking the questions. Bending my will, asking Jesus to be my comfort. My expectation. My measure. My drive. To be my God… so I can just be me: tired, behind on my deadlines, needy me.
And this song is playing on repeat. God’s speaking. Thank you Laura Story for capturing my soul-struggle with words and melodies that melt me into His arms of Grace. I hope you’ll take just a minute to listen {and then enter below to win a copy of Laura’s new CD}. You will be so glad you did!
How does today’s post or Laura’s song speak to your heart today?
Is there some way you need to let go of your expectations of yourself or a situation and ask God to be God so you can “just be you”?
“Share your thoughts” below for a chance to win one of Laura Story’s new albums on CD.
I’ll pick three winners to each receive a CDs and a copy of my NEW Confident Heart Devotional book
Laura’s newest full studio album is officially available on iTunes. Laura is currently on tour with Steven Curtis Chapman and the Glorious Unfolding Tour. And she’s coming to Charlotte December 6th for a Girls Night Out we’re doing together with 91.9FM. More details coming soon!
Want to join me and Melissa Taylor TONIGHT on the Real Life: Confident Heart Connection Calls ? We’ll be talking with Laura about her life, her faith, the story behind “So I Can Just Be Me” and other songs on her new Album “The God of Every Story”? Find out more and sign up here!
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WOW….cant wait for the connection call…This is how I was feeling today. I am overwhelmed in all aspects of my life. I have been talking to God all day long..then I ran across a post and found Psalm 61: 1-2 Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. After I read that God placed me on the rock and calmed my frustrated heart.
My husband and I are planning on going on a mission trip next summer. To make extra money for the trip I have been making scarves and hair bands to sell. Well, today I tried offering these hair bands to some of the women who bring their children to childcare where I work. As I was speaking I felt very fearful. The enemy has been putting doubt in my heart so much that we are not able to raise enough to go and do orphan care in Ukraine. I felt unworthy and fearful all day long.
When I got home and got an email from you…I began to read it and I feel like the Lord himself spoke to me and encouraged me so much. He healed me from the thoughts of doubt and fear, He reminded me that He is my everything and I just need to slow down…rest in Him and stop trying to make money for the trip with my own efforts but trust in his provision and everlasting care. I can be me because God is always God and he never changes. My spirit rejoices because of such a timely encouragement through you.
God bless you.
The lyrics of this song was as if I was writing a note to self. I am a wife, mother,daughter, employee and student. There are often times I feel as the song stated a “failure”. The various roles that I have are for individuals I truly love and want to be there helping them in anyway that I can. But as a result I find my thoughts are in chaos and I feel like a hamster that is running in the wheel. It’s at those moments that I know that I need to slow down and feast on the words of God to find peace and restoration. In His presence I can just be me. Thank you
It is good to know we can just be ourselves and God will be everything else. He loves us just the way we are.
This song is so beautiful! Thank you for the reminder. We have so much going on, packing, trying to close on our house. Waiting and waiting for others to complete their part so we can move forward and I keep thinking what more can I do to get this done on time. With the holiday coming up and wanting to have my family over for Thanksgiving at our place for the first time in years, I’ve been putting pressure on myself to keep doing and need to let God work out the details. He knows what we need to complete this process and he’s never late!
Let Him.
Wow, This song also hit home with me. I’m a 45 yr old mom that has always “fixed” everything for everyone. But yet had the lowest self esteem of most I knew. Now I understand that i was grasping onto anything that would accepted me, but I lost “ME” in the process. Beginng to believe I only existed to help others become their destiny. Since coming back home to Our Holy Father, I am learning to live one day at a time, and allowing myself to become who God has called me to be. This song is a reminder to sit at Jesus’ feet and relax in His Presence while He is molding me to
become the daughter He has always loved.
Thank you for your post today, it hit right to my heart. Love u all
This song was/is something I needed to hear. I have very high expectations of myself. I think that sometimes I expect perfection of myself and I end up feeling like a failure because,obviously, I cannot meet that expectation of being perfect. (duh!)
I need to just let go and let God guide me. He is everything I need. God will not disappoint.
My situation is the opposite of Renee’s as I can never seem to really do a lot of productive stuff and prefer being at home. I get so down on my self and feel worthless and a waste of life. I have struggled with this for some years. I have experienced peoples comments that enforce my negativity about myself. I am trying to work on this and am thankful that people are sharing their hearts and lives through this and many other online studies I am getting to experience . Thank you Renee for sharing and all you other ladies too. God bless . Liz
I know many of us can relate to this post! God often reminds me to sit & Be Still in His Presence but oh how hard it is! Love this song.
Was just talking to my counselor today about stop, and let others do some of the things I have been doing for them. Learning to understand that most of these people are grown ups and can do for themselves. I am learning to say “NO”. Maybe that is why I am so tired. Getting back to reading “Encouragement for Today.” Thank you for all you do to inspire all. Melody
Renee, I think you took words directly from my mouth. I constantly fight a need to control every little tiny atom in my life….and fail miserably! This song brought tears to my eyes – I think I’ll be putting it on repeat until it touches my soul. Thank you so much for sharing your story, your faith and this song.
I LOVE this song! Just saw her in concert with SCC in Columbia. They were fabulous. Such great stories, tender hearts & exude the glory of God.
I have struggled for a while with self doubt and feeling like what I have to offer and share is reciprocated and appreciated. I am working to open my heart to God on a more regular basis and see all of the love that he has for me. At this point in my life I really need “God to be God, so I can just be me”. I need to be healed, I need to find peace, I need to be happy with myself, and need to learn to enjoy being alone and spending time only with God. Thank you for this wonderful Bible study and your positive strength and support for all of this.
Been struggling with this and asking myself lately, “Why am I doing this? This isn’t fun anymore. Work isn’t fun, home isn’t fun.” Why am I pushing myself so hard and trying to please everyone but missing the heart of God? Don’t have the answers yet, but working on it.
Yeppers, this is my theme song too. It is what I needed and just at the right time. Thank you.
Renee…thru this study I have struggled too, but I thank God I’ve gotten this far!! I LOVE this song, it just makes me breathe a sigh of relief!! God’s in control, he’s my healer & I can just let him Love Me!! Thru this Wonderful Study, I am moving forward more than I ever have & I have experienced more PEACE in my Life!!
I love this song! “Be my healer, be my comfort, be my peace” is exactly what I’m praying for most often these days. I’m reminded today that He does want to be all of those things and I don’t always have to be strong and have it all together. It’s okay to not be able to do it all or to fall apart sometimes. He loves me just the way I am. I need to stop trying to be perfect because He knows who I was created to be and by His grace I’ll get there.
Renee,
I sit here in tears as I write this. I wish I could let God be God and me be me.
You see I have totally spoiled my adult child, who is now in his 30’s.
He lives with us and has totally ruined his work record.
I keep handing him over to God & then picking him back up.
I would love to just let go and leave it be.
My biggest expectation of me is in trying to fix my adult son.
Reading the post caught me. You see it was just about 2 years ago when I first heard “Blessings” and it became a song that I played over & over non-stop. It became the song that for very different reasons kept me functioning in auto-piolet. It was the focus of my days in which the world was telling me to abandon my faith & my marriage and I would find a path of healing and a future. And I ingored them, pushed along almost band-aided together by that song. And now it reminds me of the future and hope I have in God, which I need to remember 2 slow down to feel. And yet it was a song that has reached out and held onto me and my daughter while I couldn’t see beyond the pain of domestic violence and the ending of my marriage. I realize this might not be most peoples thinking on the question asked, but it is where my heart lead me when I read the question. And the understanding now that if we don’t slow down we will face the grief of lost time in addition to other things.