It started with a cough. A few sneezes. Then a horrible headache. For days, I denied it was anything serious. Tried to convince myself I was not really sick.
Pushing through the coughing, wheezing, sinus pain and aches, I resisted slowing down.
Who else would do it all if I couldn’t?
There were deadlines and expectations to meet, laundry to do, and emails to return. We needed groceries and meals for our family of five.
A few nights of not sleeping {and a couple of hours in Urgent Care on Saturday}, my self-determination caved in. I had a respiratory virus that was being exacerbated by allergies and asthma.
In this unexpected, unwanted, “forced-slowing-down” God’s made it clear –
I have issues: unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of myself.
My heart towards me doesn’t represent His heart for me.
I have these knowing moments.
But then I fall back into pushing myself. I don’t recognize the imbalance until I’m down for the count. I have more than a respiratory virus. I have a soul virus He wants to heal.
Why is this so hard?
I don’t have the answers, but I’m asking the questions. Bending my will, asking Jesus to be my comfort. My expectation. My measure. My drive. To be my God… so I can just be me: tired, behind on my deadlines, needy me.
And this song is playing on repeat. God’s speaking. Thank you Laura Story for capturing my soul-struggle with words and melodies that melt me into His arms of Grace. I hope you’ll take just a minute to listen {and then enter below to win a copy of Laura’s new CD}. You will be so glad you did!
How does today’s post or Laura’s song speak to your heart today?
Is there some way you need to let go of your expectations of yourself or a situation and ask God to be God so you can “just be you”?
“Share your thoughts” below for a chance to win one of Laura Story’s new albums on CD.
I’ll pick three winners to each receive a CDs and a copy of my NEW Confident Heart Devotional book
Laura’s newest full studio album is officially available on iTunes. Laura is currently on tour with Steven Curtis Chapman and the Glorious Unfolding Tour. And she’s coming to Charlotte December 6th for a Girls Night Out we’re doing together with 91.9FM. More details coming soon!
Want to join me and Melissa Taylor TONIGHT on the Real Life: Confident Heart Connection Calls ? We’ll be talking with Laura about her life, her faith, the story behind “So I Can Just Be Me” and other songs on her new Album “The God of Every Story”? Find out more and sign up here!
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Really enjoy Laura’s music – thanks for sharing! I totally relate with your post today – I have the biggest expectations for myself and don’t allow myself sometimes to lower them – esp at the holidays. Thaks for the reality check – and for being real and pointing me towards my Heavenly Father!
Love this song! So thankful for your writing, beautiful songs like this, the with of Proverbs 31 and everyone involved. It is such a comfort to meet and hear from other women who have the same struggles. Praise God that we don’t have to be perfect because of His grace! We must remember that He will always be there to catch us…and our tears…when we fall! And we will…we just have to remember not to be so hard on ourselves sometimes!
Praying that you will start to feel better and the Lord will heal you! Being sick is so hard it just drains everything from you. Blessings to you, Renee! Thank you for posting this song! Just the name makes my heart full of peace! 🙂
This is an incredible song….It is my heart….I have been trying so hard…but that isn’t what God wants…He wants me to let HIM….and me to rest in Him…I have searched for years….who Am I …what is my purpose…God told me…Let me show you. Stop looking/trying so hard..
.I was recently asked to be an elder for my church..I told my Pastor ” I am not (the former Elder)”. He said….:Just be You….that is what we want:. OH MY! those words thrilled my heart…because I never felt I was of value to anyone…but God is using me….Wow…
My prayer each day for me and my family is “God help me become the woman of God you created me to be.”. I am able to do this because of P31 OBS….Thank you Renee for your book. It is helping me each day…
I do want to be ME and God to be my God, my everything. Shattered and scattered, that is so my life sometimes. Sunday I was trying so hard to do everything (Pastor’s wife, Sunday School teacher, hostess to potluck, worship leader) and finally it hit me – I can’t do everything – it wears me out. I have to be me and I have to let God show me what is important to Him and everything else will take care of itself according to His time and His will. Thank you so much for sharing your devotion and this song.
So simple, yet so unbelievably difficult! I very often put so many unreal expectations on myself, when it comes to being a mother, a wife, and a servant for those in my church family. I also struggle with trying to be who others “think” I should be, but I need to remember to just be me and let God be God! Thank you for this post and for sharing that beautiful song!
I too have been ill for several weeks.
I don’t know how I can Just Be Me?
I’ve always had to pull it together for everyone else.
I am at work before 7:00 a.m. And when the day is done.
I come home and prepare dinner for my grandchildren, their mom (who lives with me) and sometimes my friend.
Make sure things are in order. By the time I try to take a seat, the family is here, and then it’s on!
I don’t have a hobby, I don’t visit family or friends, I listen to the tons of messages from Bill Collectors, looking for finances that I don’t have to spare. I know that God has my back through all the turmoil. So, How do I Just Be Me?
I haven’t had a weekend to myself in years. The days I am not working, I am trying to keep my home presentable for my family.
I’ve recently reconnected with my Church that I grew up in as a child. The Sunday service and fellowship offer some relief. I listen to the Gospel Radio station in my city on my ride to and from work. It gives me food and consolation, to prepare for the day ahead.
I am 60 years old, soon to retire after 40 years with our School District.
So if you have some relief or suggestions to How I can Just Be Me.
I am your student
These songs are great. It’s so refreshing to feel that I am acceptable just as I am. It’s liberating. I really like “Blessings”.
Oh my goodness I can so relate. I think most women have these feelings that we have to keep “everything” together! I feel like I’ve let down my kids, grand daughter, husband and friends because I can not do it ALL any more. I was diagnosed with Lupus 3 years ago and it definitely got my attention. There are good days I do more and some days all I can do is cry out to Jesus!!! He is teaching me a lot needless to say; grace, humility, patience, and much more. I’ve adjusted to a new normal but those doubts creep in every now and then and I’m so glad I can run to Jesus and I really can, Just Be Me!!
Thanks for all you do, what an encourager you are.
what an amazing song…and lyrics…thanks for sharing, renee…
Thank you for the amazing message today. I pray that you fell better soon Renee. This song really stands out to me and I am so grateful for the message of the song. When Satan is trying to destroy my confidence and t try to pull me away from God I am blessed to have this song.
As a child I was born with Cerebral palsy. Going to school I struggled drastically. From childhood on the continued to hear Messages like you’re not good enough, you’ll never make it, why do you even try. Left me feeling like no matter how hard I tried it was never good enough, the matter what I did it wasn’t good enough, and somebody could always do it better.
I need God. I can not hold it all together with out my loving father guiding me directing me, giving me peace and being my God my father so i can move forward being how God wants me to be and not focus on the hurtful world to decide who I am. This song speaks loud and reminds me I can just be me, the way are loving father wants me to be. I am not broken and I no longer want the negative messages of the broken world to decide who I am going to be.
Saying your failing the class is much different than being labeled as a failure. Understanding this brought tears to my eyes. they both are painful but have a different message. I love the reminder message at the last paragraph on page 132.
Now as we #Movefroward I now that #IAmNot a failure. If God provides and you have grown through transition you are not a failure you are and over-comer. Did you fail at Something today yes, you are not a failure by God. I your father I am giving you room to grow.
Somehow I’m not able to listen, because I’m from Canada?? Oh well. Thank you for your devotional AGAIN, for being so open with us, women who think we can do it all! I’m in that ‘group’. He calls us to rest in Him, but I rest in my accomplishments FAR TOO OFTEN.
Oh what a comfort this is to hear my feelings put to words and music and to know that I can put it all in my God’s hands.
This speaks to me on so many different levels. I am a single mom of two kids, work full-time outside of the home and have MANY challenging medical issues that all demand my attention. Being type A and driven toward perfection, I try to be what everyone wants and needs me to be. Trying to be supermom, super employee while just trying to get out of bed most days is exhausting. I have very high expectations for myself as a single mom. However, I have learned that when God gives me a flare up (another surgery, medical testing, etc), it means I have been pushing to hard. Thank you for this beautiful song reminding me to turn to God when I am feeling overwhelmed or hurting so that he can take the helm so that I can sit back and breath.
Oh Renee… exactly! This song speaks into that impossibly high standard I set for myself – trying, sometimes almost running myself ragged and sick, to be someone that I’m not meant to be. But for grace. I love that we are called to be still and allow God’s ability to right our inability. This book has been a beautiful reminder about God’s deep love for me. I am grateful.
I can so relate. I’m a single mom so I do push myself and try to do it all because if I don’t, then it won’t get done. I can often times find myself exhausted mentally and physically. I also do not accept help very well and definitely need to work on not comparing myself to others and being OK with not being perfect. BTW…I love Laura Story!!
Oh Renee… I’m right there with you, soul sister…sick as sick can be, and much like you, its probably my own sense of “needing” to DO it all and BE it all that lead to this very season. At the very least, its lead me to not being able to fight it off as fast as I would have usually. Worn down and worn out. All because I havent let God be God and let me be me… Your post and THIS song could NOT have come at a better time than now!!! I love how God does this…always brings me exactly the WORD or message I need at exactly the perfect time!! In addition to just my *physicial* sickness though, I’ve been truly struggling with worry about things going on in my extended family…things way out of my control, and things that I’ve been sensing in my heart God wants me to just leave in His hands, but I’ve been, instead, picking back up over and over and over again. Its so hard not to worry or hurt over things, and not to want to fix things. Its hard to trust God sometimes, not because I don’t WANT to trust Him, but because the timing seems so much more urgent to this imperfect human in me. My honest cries ARE … YES, God please take this, so I can just be me!!! And don’t let me keep picking these burdens back up…let me leave them safely in your arms! Thank you for your ministry, Renee and your prayers!! Praying for complete, quick healing for you AND that none of your other sweet family members catch your sickness either 😉 God bless you!!
So happy to learn to be ME. I have always hid in someone else’s shadow because I was AFRAID to be ME……..someone’s daughter, someone’s friend, someone’s mother, someone’s wife, etc. It is hard to step out of the shadow and be ME. Thank you to “A Confident Heart” for giving me the courage and a place to practice being who God made ME! Each day is a day of learning. The encouragement I receive from this Bible Study daily has/is changing my life!
I have had this song cycling since I first heard it a week ago. I also have trouble just “being”. I feel if I am not “doing” I am being lazy and my value diminishes. I know these are lies but is my mindset none the less
Oh how this song became one of my favorite songs the first time I heard it. It touched my heart so much that our band at church learned to play it so I could sing it at church. You see, I has first heard this song when things between my mom and I became really bad. I cried every time I heard the song because I was so hurt by what my mom was doing, but knew deep down I needed God to be my God, so I could just be me…..the person He had already forgiven for my sins that were being thrown in my face. Thank you Laura Story for writing a song that will always touch my life.