It started with a cough. A few sneezes. Then a horrible headache. For days, I denied it was anything serious. Tried to convince myself I was not really sick.
Pushing through the coughing, wheezing, sinus pain and aches, I resisted slowing down.
Who else would do it all if I couldn’t?
There were deadlines and expectations to meet, laundry to do, and emails to return. We needed groceries and meals for our family of five.
A few nights of not sleeping {and a couple of hours in Urgent Care on Saturday}, my self-determination caved in. I had a respiratory virus that was being exacerbated by allergies and asthma.
In this unexpected, unwanted, “forced-slowing-down” God’s made it clear –
I have issues: unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of myself.
My heart towards me doesn’t represent His heart for me.
I have these knowing moments.
But then I fall back into pushing myself. I don’t recognize the imbalance until I’m down for the count. I have more than a respiratory virus. I have a soul virus He wants to heal.
Why is this so hard?
I don’t have the answers, but I’m asking the questions. Bending my will, asking Jesus to be my comfort. My expectation. My measure. My drive. To be my God… so I can just be me: tired, behind on my deadlines, needy me.
And this song is playing on repeat. God’s speaking. Thank you Laura Story for capturing my soul-struggle with words and melodies that melt me into His arms of Grace. I hope you’ll take just a minute to listen {and then enter below to win a copy of Laura’s new CD}. You will be so glad you did!
How does today’s post or Laura’s song speak to your heart today?
Is there some way you need to let go of your expectations of yourself or a situation and ask God to be God so you can “just be you”?
“Share your thoughts” below for a chance to win one of Laura Story’s new albums on CD.
I’ll pick three winners to each receive a CDs and a copy of my NEW Confident Heart Devotional book
Laura’s newest full studio album is officially available on iTunes. Laura is currently on tour with Steven Curtis Chapman and the Glorious Unfolding Tour. And she’s coming to Charlotte December 6th for a Girls Night Out we’re doing together with 91.9FM. More details coming soon!
Want to join me and Melissa Taylor TONIGHT on the Real Life: Confident Heart Connection Calls ? We’ll be talking with Laura about her life, her faith, the story behind “So I Can Just Be Me” and other songs on her new Album “The God of Every Story”? Find out more and sign up here!
Hi Renee
Why is it that we just can let go and let God when we are feeling down, sick or overwhelm. I just finish a bible study on Jonah-a life interrupted. I believe God is trying to get my attention at these times and to call for help. Help is always what I need and He is there for me.
Working through this … this very second!! Healing from an injury & having missed some work, I am behind. I get caught up just enough to take a breath then I slip back “under the water”. This song was also written just for me! I think it’s amazing how God can show us that we’re not alone in this. If He has there be a song such as this… even the most “put together” people struggle with this! Today, I am going to let God be God.. and I am just going to be me. (with the help of The Holy Spirit.. cause I can’t do it alone!).
My own life is a reflection of words shared almost daily as a Pastor’s wife for over 28 years. Walking in the “I have to keep going because if I don’t do it or I am not there to lead worship what would happen? It doesn’t work without me!” Oh my! Wake up call! My upper respiratory infection was NOT WANTED but God knew it was time for me to “listen” and be healed as He continued to care for His people. Thank you so much for your thoughts!
What a wonderful song! Just what I needed to hear this morning. We are dealing with the “unknown”, in so many areas of our lives and WE NEED GOD. I need this song playing in my head ALL day long. Would appreciate your prayers so much. So thankful that God knows how to handle all of this…
I know I tend to try to just keep going. I have two chronic illness that compete for dominance that I try to conqueror all the time. But when they win and I need to just rest, I find that is when I am drawn closest to God. I think I struggle way to much on my own instead of just resting in letting God be God so I can be and do what I can knowing He will handle the rest and do a way better job then I could ever do!
WOW! Perfect timing for this time of year when I am trying to be the perfect hostess, the perfect daughter, the perfect mom, the perfect wife, . . . with the perfect house, meal, gift! Please be my God, Lord, so I can just be me (for You).
In 1983 my right leg was torn off at knee from an accident. God sent me the right EMTs and the Doctor in the ER room that night remembered me from church so decided to not amputate.God is good. My leg has not bothered me until the last few years. I keep trying to do what I used to do but weather and age is now catching up.Just this AM isaid to myself as I was rushing to write out scripture What are you doing slow down all the other things will still be there later.As I prayed scriptures I needed to be Just Me were in my reading God is wonderful! Thank you Renee for this Song this AM just another thing I needed at the exact moment I needed it
It’s so interesting to see all these posts that say basically the same thing…we can all relate in one way or another. I’ve said this before in other posts, one of the things I love about these bible studies is realizing that we are not alone! So many of us experience the same thoughts and or situations. It’s comforting at times knowing we are not alone. I try to be super woman all the time, and it drives my husband crazy lol! I am trying to work on slowing down and keeping still and remembering that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I now have it in my daily routine to get up early every morning and spend some time with God ( and I try not to multi task). My days are better when I do this.
I love Laura Story and her music.
I love the reminders of focusing.
When God created women, he gave us the capacity to do so many things and we know this and sometimes tend to forget that although we have all those, well I like to call them “super powers”, if we don’t refuel on the source which is God, we will eventually crash… We tend to continually tell ourselves “I got this” but we need to understand that sometimes it’s ok not to be ok and just let go and let GOD.
Thank you so much for sharing this post, I tend to make this mistake constantly and God constantly reminds be to be still and know that HE IS GOD.
Oh Renee so sorry you are so sick. I have just prayed for you! It is so not fun to be sick and down and feel the need to not be sick, but to keep going and ‘do it all’. But that’s not how God made our bodies. He wants us to slow down and heal, and sometimes He says ‘stop’ and ‘rest’! This is a great song by Laura too! People today think they can’t be sick, can’t stay home from work, can’t slow down…and they will just get sicker or spread the ‘sickness’ around to others.
Fortunately I guess I am lucky I am a whimp. 🙂 When I don’t feel well at all, and am sick – I rest, stop working, and get well the only way I know how.
I will be praying God will show you His wisdom for what He wants you to do.
Much love!
Susan
I’m currently unemployed and intensely job searching. Fighting self-doubt, feelings of worthlessness, lack of self-confidence.
This song reminds me to just keep giving it all up to Him & trust Him.
There just are not enough words to express my gratitude for this post. It’s like you & Laura were living in my home for the past 2 yrs. My 35 yr. marriage is a mess, our daughter
(Who happens to hate me) & granddaughter have lived with us for the past 10 months & I can do NOTHING right as far as she is concerned. I have HAD to rely on God & let Him be EVERYTHING for me. I have leaned on Him like never before b/c I would never have survived all of this. God has a plan of course but the not knowing is the part I have to get better at. I dont have the girlfriends you speak of so God has to be everyrhing.
I am right there with you this week. The only difference is I dont want to be this busy. I came down with sinus that turned bad and was actually so grateful for the break but feeling guilty to take it! Im always grateful when God slows me down but I feel im letting everyone else down in the process. My husband ends up with double duty taking care of our kids, cooking and cleaning and begs me to take antibiotics. Sriking a balance is so hard most days! Thanks for sharing your struggles, Renee! Bless you!
Wow Renee and Laura! You two are singing and writing my life story! This “soul virus” must be contagious, as I keep getting re-infected. I also have part-time membership in PBS (productivity-based society) !
Lord Jesus thank You for this deep heart touching reminder that You would never put these high expectations on me! Please help me live much more focused on You and Your strength, and find lasting peace and acceptance of myself in this chronic illness. I am so weary of going around this same mountain for so many years. I surrender, as You truly are my strong tower, my refuge, my comforter, my Savior!
Thank you both for being obedient and willing vessels. Healing prayers wrapped in love Renee.
I can totally relate to both your post and Laura’s song. I always tend to want to be the rescuer and helper to others, where then I get totally out of balanced. I then go on a downward spiral of feeling like I am letting others down, when I can’t do more. I also then feel like I let God down. I have been realizing more and more that God wants to be my rescuer, my peace and fill those spots where I may need filling.
Wow, love this song. There’s so much to let go of – to give to God so He can handle everything. We don’t have to handle everything. God can handle all of it. We need to concentrate on being the ‘me’s’ we were made to be! I think this is going to be my new favorite song! Thanks for the chance to win!
Could not get the song said it was not available in this country. But I do relate to not slowing down when you have so many things to take care off and your body is ill. Eventually you have to give in and slow down to take care of yourself.
Love this song. So peaceful. I’ve heard it before and sung to it, but didn’t know who sang it. Yes I want God to be all I need so I can just be me.
Loving your book so far! 🙂
I really needed to hear this… I have gotten to s point where I’m trying to do too much and even when I’m doing a lot I feel like I’m not doing enough. My mother asked me why I feel I have to do so much and I couldn’t think of a good answer… I just want to please God with my whole being… But sometimes I’m so busy I forget to pray and that isn’t good… I need to keep my focus on Him allow Him to do what He does instead of trying to do everything on my own. Thank you Renee for being so open and transparent with us I appreciate all that you do! Continue to let God use you even when it seems like He isn’t! 🙂 I love you precious woman of God! Be blessed!
OK, so I am not a HUGE fan of Contemporary Christian music, generally- I tend more towards classical and jazz. However, I have some faves. This song, resonated. What a beautiful voice, and the words…well they hit home. I am sure I would enjoy listening to more! ANd…your book- well who can’t get enough of that? I loved the book, and would love the refreshment of the devotional. Thanks, Rene for all!
I began my day reading chapter seven and looking up the Scriptures it contained. I then answered the questions and resolved to quit carrying the guilt of my mistakes and reminding myself to thank God that He will turn it all into good in spite of my actions. What a load lifted! I then listened and watched the lyrics to some of Laura Story’s songs. What truth I found, thank you Renee and Laura for your words of freedom.
I Love Laura Story and the beautiful message she sends in her songs. “Let go and Let God”. ( from Al-anon) I need to rely on a higher power, who is my savior Jesus. Thanks for all in our OBS.
I am so exhausted from trying to do it all. This says it all. I can’t do it all, I can’t be enough, but if I will let God he will let me just be me.
This is my new lifeline sung, it speaks about all I’m feeling in this season of my life. Thank you for sharing.
Wow. That just described my life. Hear my prayer, O Lord.
Your comment about “unrealistic and unhealthy” expectations for yourself struck a cord with me. Never in a million years would I EVER expect from someone else what I expect of myself. This has lead to many an unrealistic expectation, that leads me to feel like a failure and at times has lead to stomach issues and migraines…. I am working on knowing that because God thinks I am good enough, I am just that, good enough!
Yes, yes, and yes! The post and the song……. the most important thought for me you shared: Relinquish all expectations for the past several days, I’ve accepted that Ive got more than a respiratory virus. I’ve got a soul virus He wants to heal. There is also so much packed in the song…….Cause I can be scattered, forever shattered, Lord I need you now to be Be my God so I can just be.
I too have a soul virus he wants to heal…..
I hope you are feeling better! Thank you for writing A Confident Heart! Your words and His words are helping me so much. God bless you!
I can totally relate. I have high expectations of myself and thus disappoint myself often. I list too much to do on my list. The four square method helps some. Fold paper into 4 sections. 1 things I will do today. 2 things I might do today. 3 things unlikely to do 4 things no way will I do today. I can often be a human doing instead of human being. I can really relate to the song. Being widow I have to take care of everything now. It is sometimes very overwhelming.
Renee your post was exactly what I needed to read. I’ve been pushing myself so. Trying to keep all of the plates spinning in the air. I would get frustrated with myself at points because I felt like the harder I tried, the more I failed. I forced myself to push past the tired. I worked through lunch breaks because I just didn’t have time to stop. Starting jobs with the intention of finishing but being to overwhelmed, over committed or over exhausted to complete them. I was so caught up in living for the weekend, to be able to rest, that I really wasn’t living at all. I was missing out on God’s peace. I was missing countless moments to cast my cares on Him so that He could love on me and rescue me. I was pulling myself away from my family by being so grouchy and short tempered all the time.
This song really put the icing on the cake. I need to practice being less of me and operating more in Jesus. I love how God ministers peace and revelation through music. We get so caught up in doing life, when we should be caught up in Jesus, allowing Him to cover, comfort and direct us.
Thank you dearly for this post and song.
Indrea
I am disabled and unable to do everything I would like to do. I have not always been disabled and there in lies the problem-I keep wanting to do everything i used to be able to do instead of what I am able to do. I need to let go of my expectations of the past and embrace what I can do. I need to Let go and let God use me in the place I am in, embrace the moment and serve God despite my limitations. He’s my healer, he’s my peace.
I’ll be really honest, I wasn’t going to read the email that came to me but I opened it up anyway & it must have been God who caused me to do it, b/c this post is totally talking about me:) I do not take time to recharge & just tonight I was so frustrated and I have been battling a migraine today among other things. I know I am sick too but have been totally denying it….wow! God is good to have pushed me to read this post. I need to re think some things & I need to do some praying. Thank you for being His voice to me tonight. Blessings~
Us “gals” sometimes try to do it all and “take on the world”……when we really should let God be God…..
This song meets me right where I am. “I’m so tired of trying to be someone I was never meant to be.” Thank you!
Dealing with situation with “friend” who is just toxic. After 13 years just wan to let go, and praying for God to lead me without confrontation or conflict. I want to end it with much character and love as possible to let her know I care, but cannot handle a friendship where she holds onto such anger & bitterness.
I loved this song & the timing was perfect.
This song described the way I have been feeling this week!
Wow that song really spoke to my heart…..going thru a huge trial right now and how that hit home with me that I gotta let God be God and take care of it so I can just be me. Still tough though because I too want to do it myself…. But good news is God’ not finished with me yet and I’m a work in progress. Thank God for his Gace in my short comings…
Wow! Timely words. Struggling myself with too much to do, sickness running thru the house, taking care of everyone but myself, dealing with arguments….yeah be my God so I can be myself. Only God can help me deal with all the various issues. What would I do without Him???!!!
Sometimes I think we just keep moving and doing as many things as we can get done. Then we don’t always take time to do our daily devotionals either. God will tap us on the shoulder and we think-Oh yes I need to speed time with you now. Sometimes we just let life get to busy. I was sick on Friday morning and had to send my child care children home. I thought I could do my job anyway so parents could go to work. But God had other plans for my day. So thankful for child care parents that understand we get sick. I thank God for the time I did have with Him that day when I got to feeling a little bit better. Laura Story’s song always fit thing
Hi, I can relate so much with you right now! It seems that when I purpose in my heart to to go over and beyond for The Lord , I end up getting sick. I have a womens meeting this weekend at my home. I have things I need to get down and the more I try the worse I feel.but like the song says He is my healer and He is my peace! Praying for you . Thanks for sharing.
Been struggling with all my to do’s, my heart breaking for my lost family members, and questioning myself in my faith.
Hi, Renee. This hit me like a ton of bricks and stepped on a couple of my toes. Those of us who have kids know it isn’t easy or convenient to slow down, or in my case to give up my control and allow God to work. I have 2 sons… Ages 25 and 16. The eldest has struggled with some issues which I won’t go into, but which affected our entire family, and the stress and heartbreak issues eventually affected my health. I have to work every day at letting go and letting God. He is, after all. The father to the fatherless and the greatest parent anyone could have. While I still try to do what I can for my family, I have realized that in order for me to do my best and be my best, for myself and my children, I have to lean on and talk to MY Heavenly Father, and seek His guidance. Giving up my control and placing it all in God’s hands has not only helped me. It has helped my children as well.
From one Renee to another, thank you for your words and for the inspiration you are. God bless you and yours.
I got to a very dark place in my life believing I could do it all. I finally listened to the voice telling me to be still. It’s very hard for this go getter and perfectionist, but I can totally tell the difference. Life is brighter knowing it’s ok to say no, to be still, and know things do not have to be perfect. Love the song.
I have learned in the last 2 years, since my husband passed away, that I cannot do anything without my God. He is all that I need to get through the hard times. By relying on God and not myself, it has been a much easier journey. It is at those times when I do not rely on God and instead try to push through on my own that I experience problems.
Praising God each and every day for guiding me on this journey and leading me in the direction that He desires for my life. It is making what could be such a devastating time into a much easier journey.
Even when I fail, God is there to guide me through.
Praising Him for his everlasting/unceasing love, forgiveness and grace!
I also tend to overrun myself and most recently ended up with pneumonia (which I denied for 2 weeks). It was really a wake-up call when my doctor told me I almost ended up in the hospital. This Bible study has been a blessing and I continue to learn more on how to focus on what God wants me to do and to stop trying to “be enough”.
love this song and praying for a quick recovery. I feel if I am not in control things do not get done right. . Reminding myself to let God take control.
Renee, Thanks for your post today. And a big thanks for sharing Laura Story’s recording, what a wonderful song. Yes, God is our Savior, He is in control, He is our healer, He is love, He is our all. It’s not me that is sick, but my husband, Bob. We were told back in November, 2012 that he has Parkinson’s disease. His health has really declined in this past year. Laura’s song is beautiful, it makes me think about God being with us as this disease takes over my husband. It is so hard to watch him going through this. God, please give me strenght to take care of Bob.
I love so many of the other songs, that is included in your blog today. Mandise’s song “Stronger” is beautiful, while listening to her, I was asking God to make me stronger for my husband, Bob. Again, thank you for your encouraging messages. May God bless you now and always..
I also struggle with unrealistic expectations of myself. I think I’m harder on myself than others are on me. I heard the song “Just be me” at a time in my life when I realized that I need to stop trying to control everything & instead trust in the God who controls the universe.