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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Be My God … So I Can Just Be Me

It started with a cough. A few sneezes. Then a horrible headache. For days, I denied it was anything serious. Tried to convince myself I was not really sick.

Pushing through the coughing, wheezing, sinus pain and aches, I resisted slowing down.

Who else would do it all if I couldn’t?

 There were deadlines and expectations to meet, laundry to do, and emails to return. We needed groceries and meals for our family of five.

A few nights of not sleeping {and a couple of hours in Urgent Care on Saturday}, my self-determination caved in. I had a respiratory virus that was being exacerbated by allergies and asthma.

In this unexpected, unwanted, “forced-slowing-down” God’s made it clear –

I have issues: unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of myself.

My heart towards me doesn’t represent His heart for me.

I have these knowing moments.

But then I fall back into pushing myself. I don’t recognize the imbalance until I’m down for the count. I have more than a respiratory virus. I have a soul virus He wants to heal.

Why is this so hard?

I don’t have the answers, but I’m asking the questions. Bending my will, asking Jesus to be my comfort. My expectation. My measure. My drive. To be my God… so I can just be me: tired, behind on my deadlines, needy me.

And this song is playing on repeat. God’s speaking. Thank you Laura Story for capturing my soul-struggle with words and melodies that melt me into His arms of Grace. I hope you’ll take just a minute to listen {and then enter below to win a copy of Laura’s new CD}. You will be so glad you did!

Swope_ConfidentHeartDevotional_CVR.inddHow does today’s post or Laura’s song speak to your heart today? 

Is there some way you need to let go of your expectations of yourself or a situation and ask God to be God so you can “just be you”? 

“Share your thoughts” below for a chance to win one of Laura Story’s new albums on CD.

 I’ll pick three winners to each receive a CDs and a copy of my NEW Confident Heart Devotional book

LauraCD

Laura’s newest full studio album is officially available on  iTunes. Laura is currently on tour with Steven Curtis Chapman and the Glorious Unfolding Tour. And she’s coming to Charlotte December 6th for a Girls Night Out we’re doing together with 91.9FM. More details coming soon!

 


Connection Calls PROMOWant to join me and Melissa Taylor TONIGHT on the Real Life: Confident Heart Connection Calls ? We’ll be talking with Laura about her life, her faith, the story behind “So I Can Just Be Me” and other songs on her new Album “The God of Every Story”? Find out more and sign up here!

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Comments

  1. My GOD!!!!!
    “I have unrealistic expectations of myself. My heart towards me doesn’t represent His heart for me”
    Tears! Today’s post met me in an uncomfortable, secret, needy, scary place. Thank you for this, truly…. I need to be free to be me
    The prayer I shared this am at 7 am was Lord help me to be who you created me to be!!!! My theme for the rest of this week will be resting in God. I thank God for you!

    • Michelle,

      So thankful that Renee and Laura’s words spoke directly to your heart. Praying for you too to be the person that God has created and called you to be in Him.

      Blessings,
      Donna B
      Renee Swope’s Ministry Team

  2. When I first heard this song it touched my heart. I had been trying so hard to be what everyone else wanted me to be ( or what I thought everyone wanted me to be) that I “lost” me!! This song..along with A Confident Heart Bible study, prayer, and God’s love have led me to feel like me again but even better!!! God is doing a new thing!!! Isaiah 43:18-19!!!!

  3. This song and your devotional both speak to me today! I’m in the midst of a project that I have never attempted before, and I’m feeling more overwhelmed by the minute. Thanks for this posting and for including the song! I really needed to read/hear both of them!

  5. I have this problem with a little twist….currently in a ‘place’ where i have some physical (maybe also mental) limitations which keep me from being able to do things i truly want. So easy to ‘compare’ myself to others but that just hastens the downward spiral.

  6. This is so me. Have many needs right now. Would love to have the CD and book. Thanks for all you do.
    Blessings…………………..

  7. “I have unrealistic expectations of myself. My heart towards me doesn’t represent His heart for me.”

    Renee,
    You just summed up the struggle of my life. Met with having to do it all on my own growing up, no one who would defend me, fight for me, love me, prioritize me- has left me fighting against the world and God to be self sufficient. No matter how long and hard i cry to be reliant on God, no matter how many prayers of surrender i have prayed, i still find myself in the driver’s seat, expecting more and more of my self and those around me in order to race against the unmet expectations of my past. Fighting to stay afloat at times, other times sinking without even knowing until it’s too late to cry “SOS”. I so desire to be rescued, to be re-programmed, free from the unrealistic expectations. Thank you for sharing your struggle, for sharing Laura’s words of hope. This too is my cry. I would appreciate the prayers of my brothers and sisters, i need a breakthrough.

    • One of the greatest lessons that I have personally learned from Renee was when she shared Exodus 14:14 with me ….. God is our Defender but he does require action from us …. Be still.

      The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. ~~ Exodus 14:14

      Praying for you,

      Donna B
      Renee Swope’s Ministry Team

  8. Twice today God has threw this song to me. HE knows I hear him really best through music. Where I work it is very difficult to listen to the radio, it keeps buffering…….I think it was the devil. I finally just looked up the lyrics. I need the CD, so I can hear the whole song! lol. Thank you Laura Story for your music.

  9. “I’ve been living like an orphan trying to belong here but it’s just not my home.” wow, that part of the song really resonated with me and I got to thinking…none of us are “home,” and we all are orphans and God says to take care of the orphans which brought me to love one another!! Take care of each other while you’re here in this place. Love this song and hope you get to feeling better Renee.

  10. Thank you for sharing….I just moved this past June from SoCal to NorCal and i have been struggling with being away from family, friends, and my only normal I have ever known. I am 56 and had lived in the same area all my life. I have been trying to hold it together and I do feel like a failure, scattered, broken,and needy…but truly I have forgotten that only God can be my Healer, Lifeline, Comfort, Guide, Peace, Mighty Warrior, Father, King, ….my Everything! Thank you for reminding me to let go of MY expectations and ask God to be my God, so I can be me.

    • Praying for you Cindy. Praying for His peace, His comfort and His presence to fill you to overflowing as you adjust to your new home.

      Blessings,
      Donna B
      Renee Swope’s Ministry Team

  11. I need to let go of trying to control my marriage and the high expectations I have from my husband to satisfy all my needs. I keep thinking that if I can just be “perfect” he will love me more. But I know my marriage is in God’s hands and He can be the Healer of the brokenness and I can just be me. Thank for the post! God bless you both!

  12. Im a 58 year old woman who has been through 3 divorces and Ive always tried to do what I thought GOD wanted me to do, always trying, trying, I went through alot of anguish about the divorces, tried to make sense of it all, lived alot in pain and condemination only recently have I totally surrendered all this mess to GOD, I need Him more than I can put into words, He is my all in all and Im nothing outside of HIM. I loved this song really opened my mind to some things, May GOD richly Bless you and keep em coming.

  13. Renee, this hit me smack in my face today. Work has been so tough the last few weeks. Anyone that hears me mention “insurance” and the “Affordable Care Act” will be able to understand how busy we are now. I keep thinking I can do it all…work 10-12 hours each day, laundry, cook dinner for the family, try to keep things picked up around the house…not necessarily cleaning. But you know, I can’t do it all. This was so timely. Thank you for helping me see that I just need to stop for a little while and Be Still…I’m sorry that you feel bad but I do appreciate your sharing your feelings with us to encourage us to be still and listen. Hoping you feel better soon.

    • Praying for your crazy schedule and that you will seek His face in the quiet moments and that He will provide quiet for you.

      Blessings,
      Donna B
      Renee Swope’s Ministry Team

  14. I feel the same way, Renee. I am coming to grips with the fact that my expectations of myself are FAR beyond God’s. In a world where you have to be bigger, better, stronger, faster, more creative, less unhealthy than the next person, I find myself struggling with stress, fear and tension. I believe God is already in control of my future, and so I just have to remind myself (through his divine intervention) that stress, fear, and tension are of this world. And I am a Child of God. Those items have no place in my life.

    God, continue with your divine nudging. I’m paying attention now.

  15. God is my everything. I can’t do it with out Him. I have two teenagers and my husband has been out of work for a year. God is truly my provider. He sends enough my way every day. Not too much not too little but always just enough.

  17. Oh My Gosh!!!! I so love that song. I will be downloading this one!! Thank you for sharing and I think several of us mom’s out there can so relate to it and to your posting. Blessings to you and praying for you to get better soon.

  18. This devotional and song popped into my email box just as i was ready to begin some work for deadlines i feel approaching way to quickly. Ok i hear you God, i surrender all my anxious thoughts over to You.

  19. Oh Renee,

    Oh, how I can relate. I always think I can go “one more day” and “do one more thing” rather than acknowledging I’m sick and being still.

    I just experienced this. Felt cold coming on, had to preach & teach. Self-medicated. It didn’t work. Did everything, felt worse, waited 2 more days to go to doctor. Bad sinus infection, made worse, strong antibiotics that mad me extremely ill, new antibiotics. Still fighting it. Oh yeah-one day off from work, then tried to go back two more days. (listed all the details to show how bad it has to get to Be still.)

    I’ve learned God will allow me to keep bumping my head until I stop and “Be still and know that HE is God!” I am not sovereign, I am not in control, I can not do it all. Lord help me!

    Renee. I’m praying speedy comfort, relief, healing, and discernment! Sleep works wonders!!!

  20. This is so important and true. Living with a chronic illness is tough but when in a bad flare or just after a week long hospital stay and not bouncing back ,I need to be me and let God Be…He is my God, healer, comfort and all in all..