As we begin this journey together, I want you to know where I started as a mom. I didn’t start out as a can-do mom with can-do thoughts and can-do kids. No. Those whiny give-up attitudes my son displayed in yesterday’s devotion were inherited from me. I was quite familiar with the sidelines of mommy life, where I would often stand and declare “I CAN’T.”
I was discouraged.
Once my kids became toddlers who would not listen to me and obey me like robots, I panicked. I looked at other moms who seemed to know what they were doing. They enjoyed being a mom. Me? Not so much. I would often wonder, “What is wrong with me? Their children listen when they tell them no. Why will my child not keep his hands to himself in the grocery store or the toy isle? Why didn’t someone tell me this would be so hard!?”
I felt like a failure.
I compared how I felt on the inside to how other moms looked like they had it all together on the outside. My feelings of inadequacy and thoughts of insecurity were held up in comparison to moms who dressed their children in matching outfits and adorned themselves with attitudes of grace and wisdom. I wondered how in the world they pulled it off with a smile? I could barely get a shower, get my kids dressed and get us out the door before lunch!
I wanted to quit.
One day I came home from running errands with two whiny toddlers. I put them down for a nap and searched for pink construction paper so I could write “I QUIT” on it. I was going to hand my “pink slip” to JJ when he came home from work that day. It was just too hard, and I was tired of feeling like I would never measure up as a mom.
And that’s where I started.
I didn’t really start being a mom until the day I almost quit. Because that was the day I fell on my knees before God and choked out the words, “I can’t do this.” And it was as though He bent down on His knees in front of me and spoke into my heart and said, “You are right, Renee. In your own strength and through your own perspective, you cannot do this. But I am here with you. And with my grace, my mercy, my promise, my presence, my power – with ME – all things are possible. You can do this through Christ – who will give you strength!
That day became a beautiful picture of Psalm 18:35 for me, “You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.”
No matter where we are in our motherhood journey, this can be our new starting point. Let’s acknowledge together that on our own we’re a mess, but with His gentleness, grace, wisdom and guidance, we can become the mom He calls us to be; the mom we want to be; and the mom our kids need us to be.
Father, give us your shield of victory as moms, and protect us from discouragement. Extend Your right hand to sustain us; you grace to strengthen us; and your wisdom to lead us. Give us your thoughts and your ways that are not naturally our own. Thank you that through your Son, you not only stooped down to make us great, but you came down to make us great because of Your great love for us. We love you, and we begin this journey not looking back, but looking up and looking forward to where you will lead us one step at a time. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Copyright 2009. Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
Today we’re giving a copy of Angela Thomas’ best-seller “My Single Mom Life”. It’s a great book whether you’re single or married, offering encouragement and wisdom all mom’s need. From mommy guilt, living with integrity, setting healthy boundaries, lonely mom syndrome, living the amazing life God has for you and your kids each day, Angela covers it all. I am reading it now and loving it! Winners will be drawn from today’s comments. Be sure to include your email address so we can contact you if you win the give-away.
All winners will be announced Saturday morning. And don’t forget, each Friday we’ll be giving away two tickets to the D6 Conference. So be sure to come back for more encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries! If you’d like to get a reminder each time I post, be sure to click on bloglines in my sidebar.
Thank you for sharing your stories. They have been encouraging especially on those days when I try to be super mom.
fran
You were saying exactly what I needed to hear, that MY journey must come first before I can begin to focus on changes in my children. I especially struggle with my 14 year old daughter, she is such a wonderful child! Yet, because we are so similiar, we also end up fighting more than I do with my other two children (especially on school mornings). So, I changed my attitude and she is slowly coming around. Thank you for all you do, I will check in more often to hear what you are going through and how I can relate the “can-do” attitude with all three of my children (ages 16, 14, and 11). AMEN!
My e-mail address is:[email protected]
I’m a 51 year old mother of six, grandmother of 7 and greatgrandmother of 1. I’m recovering from colon cancer. I’ve never been a great mom. I have always struggled with discipline in every area of my life. I have 14 year old twin girls at home and I sometimes wish they were grown and gone. Unhappy with the way my older kids have turned out; I want to give up on the twins. Am I too old to deal with difficult teenagers in this yucky world? My email address is [email protected]. Thank you.
Hi Renee and everyone
Thanks for sharing your struggles and frustrations it is nice to know I am not alone and not the only one who has felt and still does some days feel like ‘quitting’. I have even told my kids…my name is not Mom. They will ask what it is and I say I can’t tell you as I am not being Mom today!
Kim
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Renee,
When I read your devotional, You-can kid, I sat in tears because this is exactly what I have been going through with my 5 yr. old son. He is growing in this area, but it is still quite a challenge when I am trying to teach him new things and to watch him give up in frusteration. I felt so encouraged after reading your devotional b/c it gave me a new hope and desire to not give up on him so easily. Thank you!!!
Renee,
When I read your devotional, You-can kid, I sat in tears because this is exactly what I have been going through with my 5 yr. old son. He is growing in this area, but it is still quite a challenge when I am trying to teach him new things and to watch him give up in frusteration. I felt so encouraged after reading your devotional b/c it gave me a new hope and desire to not give up on him so easily. Thank you!!!
I am about to have our first baby and it is on my heart often about raising a godly son who loves the Lord. And I know how I can get discouraged with life’s trials sometimes. Thanks for sharing your struggles; it will be a reminder to always return to the Source and the Rock for my strength. God Bless!
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I am a mom of three great boys. Each one is different in their own way. But, lately I just don’t seem to find the joy in them that I once had. My oldest is almost 16, then 11, and finally my 9 year old. I have homeschooled them for almost 10 years. I really feel like I want to quit, when the times get tough. I know God wants me to homeschool them, it has been shown that this works best for them. I really do want to find joy in being their mother and learn how to be more patient with them. Please help me.
Blessings,
Sasha
Renee,
I’m a mother of 3 and have been struggling for 21 years. The challenges have been very over whelming. My boys are 13,17. My daughter is 21. Frustrated and alone.
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