My friend Suzie just released her book, The Unburdened Heart, and I’m so excited about the power and potential of her life-changing message. I had the honor of writing the foreword for her book, and I’d love to share my heart with you about it – today:
I don’t know exactly when it started. I just remember feeling angry and frustrated with my husband – almost every single day – on and off for months. One evening after an argument, J.J. told me that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was never enough.
He was right, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of being mean and miserable so I started asking God to show me what was going on. To help me figure out how, after seven years of a fairly happy marriage, we had gotten to this ugly place.
Over time I sensed God was showing me that I wanted J.J. to make up for what my dad had never been as a father to me and as a husband to my mom. I think I was trying to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” and in doing so I became very controlling and critical.
You see, years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. But I had never processed, grieved or let go of what I thought I deserved yet didn’t have.
My unforgiving heart and unfulfilled hopes had created bitter expectations. I thought if I could get J.J. to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, maybe my broken past and shattered dreams could be put back together.
I knew I needed to deal with my pain, but I couldn’t just forgive and forget it. It wasn’t that easy. There were layers of hurts and issues I’d never dealt with.
I took the first step by acknowledging my pain and giving myself permission to feel it. Then I carved out time each week to unpack the memories and events that led me to this hard place and then I allowed God to heal them.
I asked Jesus to help me grieve the loss of things I wanted that I would never have from my dad. And I asked Him to walk me through the steps of forgiving my father so I could release the anger, abandonment and hurt that had held me prisoner for so long.
It was a process that took time, prayer and courage, but it was worth it. I was worth it. My marriage was worth it.
Like most people, I didn’t want to face my pain. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want to dig it all up. But I am so glad I did! Through it all, God showed me how to let go of my past hurts so I could take hold of hope and healing I never thought I would find.
As I worked through what happened in my childhood, and how it was affecting my marriage, I realized I needed the help of a friend. I needed someone who had walked a similar road to come alongside me to offer wisdom and another perspective in my healing journey.
Through the pages of The Unburdened Heart, Suzie Eller is that friend. Offering wisdom and a heart full of compassion, Suzie will come beside you and mentor you each step of the way. Yet Suzie doesn’t just share from a place of knowing about forgiveness; she writes from a place of living it and giving it, when it’s hard.
One thing I love about Suzie and the message she lives, is that she’s not a cookie-cutter Christian. She won’t just say, “You need to forgive.” She knows it’s not that easy, but she also cares too much to leave you in that hard place. Instead, she’ll take your hand and walk you through the process, sharing her story as you look at yours.
Bringing depth to the layers of a forgiving-life, Suzie will help you explore the different meanings of forgiveness as she walks with you through your unique journey. She’ll also introduce you to amazing women and men who have offered their hearts, their stories and their courage to help you recover yours!
Chapter by chapter Suzie will invite you, even urge you at times, into a place of hope and healing because she wants you to experience the sacred transformation that forgiveness brings.
I hope you’ll accept her invitation. It will require time, courage and perseverance but you are worth what it takes. You see, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we offer it to others. In doing so, we don’t forgive so we can forget. We forgive, as we have been forgiven, so we can be set free from our past and live with confident hope in our future.
I’m giving away 2 copies of Suzie’s book – The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness. This your invitation to discover the freedom of forgiveness. Enter to receive a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” to share your thoughts or simply let us know why you’d like to win a copy of Suzie’s book. {If you are reading this via email, click here to enter to win.}
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I SO need this right now! Dealing with trying to forgive a couple friends who have really hurt me lately. This is VERY timely! Hope I can win and get started on forgiving!! Thank you and God Bless! Julie 🙂
Proverbs 3:5-6
I have recently been introduced to “The Cleansing Stream” class and information which is about digging up those past hurts and how to deal with them to release them to God. Sounds like this book goes along those same lines. I think this book would make me a better teacher in the CS class just by being able to incorporate it’s ideas along with those I already am aware of. Each of us has so much garbage within us, sometimes that we aren’t even aware of because we’ve pushed it down so far and don’t want to deal with it. Well, ladies, time to dig it out, deal with it, let go and let God handle it.
Forgiveness is something that can take years. Patience and hardwork are needed. Sometimes when we think we have forgiven we really are not quite there and a new circumstance can bring back old hurts. I would love to get a new perspective on forgiveness.
I would love to win a copy of the book, since it sounds like a message I definitely need to read, process and put into practice with a personal situation of my own. Thanks for offering to share this with others!
Hi Renee.
I would love to win this book because I feel I have areas in my life that I need to forgive that I thought I was already over (losing my mom, sister, illness and dad not being there as I was growing up). Blessings
I believe this book is going to be a saving grace for my future. I have some life changing events about to happen and I know I’m going to have to forgive some people for things said and done and I’m not real good at forgiving.
Thanks,
This sounds like a wonderful book written from someone who has been there and can encourage others. I’ve read many books on forgiveness but I think this one might be one I might be able to relate to. I believe I’ve forgiven my brothers and their wives for their treatment of me but at times I wonder if I’ve truly forgiven. I think the world’s view of forgiveness and God’s view of forgiveness are very different and at times it gets confusing. This is a book I may share with others.
This past year just accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. It’s been amazing and I’ve forgive others but I don’t think I’ve forgiven myself for the mistakes that I made but it’s getting so much easier to let go but I would love this book…
The person I love the most and am closest to has hurt me deeply and I’m struggling to let go of the anger and let God control my situation. This book would be an asset on my journey to forgiveness and healing.
So many times I find myself replaying the old critisisms and putdowns from my past in my head. This almost always ends up with my self-esteem going into the toilet and then I end up sad and upset, sometimes for several days. I also tend to be so hard on myself during these times that my work and other relationships are colored with my sefl-doubts. Perhaps I need to seek God to help me to walk in forgiveness of others and myself so that the old hurts no longer affect me. Sounds like this book would be a great help in this area of my life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this book and how it will be helpful.
Forgiveness is one of those life lessons that I am still learning. Most of the time, I can forgive, but it is the moving on that I struggle with. I have realized that even though I forgive, the hurt is still there. I don’t notice it until something is said or done and that hurt is triggered. Then that hurt turns to bitterness and then to anger. It feels like a never ending cyle.
I want to move on and truly forgive and forget. And I am trying. Gos is working on me. I am making “imperfect progress” as Lysa Terkerust says.
Forgiveness definitely an area I believe God wants me to address, but it is so hard to do. Think this book would be a great help.
I would LOVE to have this book. I know I am forgiven and experienced a fabulously unconditional loving family growing up. However once my kids came along I felt like my parents checked out. As a mother of preschoolers that was very hurtful. I’m not sure of all the issues that they were dealing with at the time, but I can tell even 10 years later the relationship is not what I feel like God wants in any of our lives. I don’t want the wall, but I don’t want the hurt either. This book seems like it would be a major blessing to wash over and heal a heart that desperately wants God’s spirit to be flowing from every pour of her body.
How can I ask God to forgive me if I can’t forgive those that hurt me? I have to remember that you forgive the person not the act. So, I have been trying to pray for the person that hurt me. It is hard.
Would love to have the book. My best friend and I have been walking through a very difficult time over this past year. Me being single and her having a large family made for a very benefical friendship for both. But over the past year, hurtful things have happened and we are not close anymore. It has been a very difficult time for me because I thought I finally had a family and fit in somewhere. I would really like to find healing in this friendship and think this book could help me.
As mcuh needed book. If people would only realize how much they loose out in life and their spiritual walk when they hold on to things and don’t forgive.
I would like to win a copy of Suzy’s book because I have dealth with similar struggles of forgiving my biological father for leaving my mother, two brothers, and myself. The impact of abandonment did not occur to me until later in my adult life, but I realize that it has had an effect on how I operate in relationships. I would like to be fully capable, through Christ, of forgiving all those who have hurt me and who have yet to disappoint, abandon, and/or betray me. Without Him, I am not capable of this. With Him, anything is possible.
Forgiveness is a daily struggle. Which goes along with trust. I am having to do both with my husband after his numerous affairs. Why didn’t I give up? I felt that God was telling me to stay and fight and not give satan the victory. It has been the most painful part of my life and the most time consuming. It is very hard for me to totally forgive and release him from this sin because of the hurt that affected so many.
I look forward to reading this book and hope to win the giveaway.
Thank you.
This sounds like the perfect book for my daughter who is struggling greatly with the issue of forgiveness. As I try and help her navigate relationships in her life, the absence of forgiveness seems toe at the root if each one. She is desperately searching in all the wrong places,and this sounds like it would speak to her heart.
Blessings to all those who opened their hearts and souls to share their stories so we could learn, grow and find healing from them.
Oh how precious this message is! I am currently walking through a class called, ‘In the Wildflowers’ and this would be a wonderful book to partner with on this journey of forgiveness! Thank you for the opportunity of this blessing!