My friend Suzie just released her book, The Unburdened Heart, and I’m so excited about the power and potential of her life-changing message. I had the honor of writing the foreword for her book, and I’d love to share my heart with you about it – today:
I don’t know exactly when it started. I just remember feeling angry and frustrated with my husband – almost every single day – on and off for months. One evening after an argument, J.J. told me that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was never enough.
He was right, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of being mean and miserable so I started asking God to show me what was going on. To help me figure out how, after seven years of a fairly happy marriage, we had gotten to this ugly place.
Over time I sensed God was showing me that I wanted J.J. to make up for what my dad had never been as a father to me and as a husband to my mom. I think I was trying to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” and in doing so I became very controlling and critical.
You see, years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. But I had never processed, grieved or let go of what I thought I deserved yet didn’t have.
My unforgiving heart and unfulfilled hopes had created bitter expectations. I thought if I could get J.J. to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, maybe my broken past and shattered dreams could be put back together.
I knew I needed to deal with my pain, but I couldn’t just forgive and forget it. It wasn’t that easy. There were layers of hurts and issues I’d never dealt with.
I took the first step by acknowledging my pain and giving myself permission to feel it. Then I carved out time each week to unpack the memories and events that led me to this hard place and then I allowed God to heal them.
I asked Jesus to help me grieve the loss of things I wanted that I would never have from my dad. And I asked Him to walk me through the steps of forgiving my father so I could release the anger, abandonment and hurt that had held me prisoner for so long.
It was a process that took time, prayer and courage, but it was worth it. I was worth it. My marriage was worth it.
Like most people, I didn’t want to face my pain. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want to dig it all up. But I am so glad I did! Through it all, God showed me how to let go of my past hurts so I could take hold of hope and healing I never thought I would find.
As I worked through what happened in my childhood, and how it was affecting my marriage, I realized I needed the help of a friend. I needed someone who had walked a similar road to come alongside me to offer wisdom and another perspective in my healing journey.
Through the pages of The Unburdened Heart, Suzie Eller is that friend. Offering wisdom and a heart full of compassion, Suzie will come beside you and mentor you each step of the way. Yet Suzie doesn’t just share from a place of knowing about forgiveness; she writes from a place of living it and giving it, when it’s hard.
One thing I love about Suzie and the message she lives, is that she’s not a cookie-cutter Christian. She won’t just say, “You need to forgive.” She knows it’s not that easy, but she also cares too much to leave you in that hard place. Instead, she’ll take your hand and walk you through the process, sharing her story as you look at yours.
Bringing depth to the layers of a forgiving-life, Suzie will help you explore the different meanings of forgiveness as she walks with you through your unique journey. She’ll also introduce you to amazing women and men who have offered their hearts, their stories and their courage to help you recover yours!
Chapter by chapter Suzie will invite you, even urge you at times, into a place of hope and healing because she wants you to experience the sacred transformation that forgiveness brings.
I hope you’ll accept her invitation. It will require time, courage and perseverance but you are worth what it takes. You see, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we offer it to others. In doing so, we don’t forgive so we can forget. We forgive, as we have been forgiven, so we can be set free from our past and live with confident hope in our future.
I’m giving away 2 copies of Suzie’s book – The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness. This your invitation to discover the freedom of forgiveness. Enter to receive a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” to share your thoughts or simply let us know why you’d like to win a copy of Suzie’s book. {If you are reading this via email, click here to enter to win.}
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Wow, this is exactly what I need! Renee it would appear that our stories are very similar. I embrace the hurts that God brings to the fore front and it takes a long time in this healing journey. God is still helping me through this, I take one step forward and two back it would seem.
Thank you for this opportunity, sounds like God wants healing for us all!
I would love to have a copy of the book. From growing up with an overly strict father, to marrying and then divorcing an abusive husband, my heart has taken a beating. I want to be a forgiver. I don’t want to be bitter and unforgiving because it only eats at my spirit. I want to get beyond my circumstances and live knowing that Jesus loves me for me.
I’ve been reading your daily post and Please I would love to receive your book for my daughter because My daughter is going thur a difficult time with her ex-husband and needs help in forgiving and help with her children knowing that the LORD is in control of her circumstances, Letting go of bitterness and learning how to trust God in all things, she would benifet from your book tremendously, Please find it in your heart to help her, “AnUnBurdened Heart, Finding Freedom in Forgiveness.
Thank You In Christ,
Dot
I would love the opportunity to read this. It seems like it would be a great tool in getting past some big stumbling books in my life.
Goodness….. I kind of felt like I was reading about myself! WOW!
I KNOW I need this. As life’s trauma unfolds on each of us, Satan can bring a weight so crippling upon our thoughts and hearts. I have struggled through a variety of issues listed in these comments above. My body is in constant pain due to the sins I find hard to let go of, thinking I ‘deserve’ the consequences. I have accepted Jesus, I know God loves me and I need to stop taking back the baggage I leave at the cross. Thank you all for your ministry, it means so much to know I am not alone as I walk toward God. Blessings.
I would really like this book. My husband had an affair and forgiveness is truly hard at this point.
It would be wonderful to release all the LIFE-BUILD UP in my life, from molestation to physical/mental abuse. Gods blessings to you ladies.! 🙂
I find myself trying to help others while working through my own STUFF. Maybe if I understood how God got me here…I can help others find their way out of their STUFF as well. Unforgivness is a HUGE problem today. It is truly Satans bait to trap our lives, keeping us from Gods plan.
I have signed up for the study but can’t afford the book right now. Would love to win a copy. I definitely struggle with forgiveness with my step daughter who has continually caused problems between by husband and myself for 12 years!! She is now 18 and still up to the same old games!
How timely and appropriate this e-mail was and the publication of this book which I really need!
I have been struggling with forgiveness in relationship with my daughter and her new husband along with other family relationship in which I feel abused and neglected. I say I forgive but the thoughts resurface. How do I bannish them?
I could use this book. Just overwhelmed. Thank you.
This book may be exactly what I’ve been looking for!…I have been struggling with forgiveness in my recent divorce. Forgiving the husband who betrayed me and forgiving my self; did I do enough to try to save the marriage, did I trust the Lord enough, did I expect to much.
So many feelings and trying to get my heart and my head on the same page.
If the book help’s one person or changes one moment for someone then it will be worth the time Suzie spent writing it and we take to read it.
Thanks to both of you for speaking to us in terms we can relate to.
Nancy
I have the same exact story as you do Renee…I found that out as my husband and I were going through your book about confidence in God…
I had to change the female words around so he didn’t feel left out. But I’ve been so mean to my husband and we haven’t even been married a year yet! That’s what scares me. Then I read what you wrote about this book and was shocked to realize that the abuse from my father towards my mom, my sisters and brother and me was impacting my married life very negatively. Even worse I still have to deal with the Abuse because my husband and I live with my parents and NOT out of choice. We can’t afford to be on our own and my dad still emotionally abuses us all. So both the past and the present affects me and the way I treat others! I keep saying I forgive and bless my dad and pray for him all the time. But recently I’ve been having nightmares about him physicAlly abusing me. I want to love and forgive and I try so hard to receive Gods love but it doesn’t seem to work. When I read my email today I knew that this book is Gods will for me and so many others.
Robin try Darlene Quinn Blog Emerging from Broken she is also on FB I think some of that will help you I am understanding some of my feelings through reading her post and blog. The abuser most always turns the guilt to the victim
Forgiveness is my One Word for this year. I went through a divorce last year. My ex was having an affair and has never expressed any regret or remorse. That has caused me much anger after the fact. I need to forgive him for walking out on our family. Not for him, but for me. The bitterness is consuming. My kids are dealing with their own issues of forgiving their dad, but I can’t help them when I’m holding on to so much resentment. We are struggling financially but he does only what he absolutely has to for the kids. They see him shopping and spending on his girlfriend and don’t understand because he never did that with us. He doesn’t spend any extra time with them even though he lives 10 mins away. I can’t tell them how to forgive the continual slights and hurts they are going through. I can’t see how I will move on in a positive way until I can forgive.
KJ please email me at [email protected]. My name is Robyn and I want to speak to you in private if possible.
Love this new book, its all so me. To know others have gone through same and share it.helps,gotta have book.
I am probably the only man to comment on this, but I love my wife enough to do this for her. My wife has been dealing with a lot of issues her whole life. She lost her sister a couple of years ago. Her sister was only 37 or 38 and she took her life. It was just after thid that her Mother’s health started to get worst. Her mother then had a sever stroke and has lost the use of her right side. She has never really had what you would call a close relationship with her mom, and now it is even more difficult. My wife is dealing with depression and anxiety and does not like to leave the house. We are both christians and I know that GOD can help her if she would seek HIM out. I think this book could help her to see that she is not alone and encourage her is seek the LORD.
This sounds like an amazing resource. Think how much better the world would be if we could all practice forgiveness. Would love to win this.
What timing! I am currently struggling to cope with my horrible childhood and trying to forgive my parents for allowing it to happen. My husband walked out on our family about 9 years ago and I am still trying to deal with that. I would love to read Suzie’s book and hopefully begin to enjoy the freedom that true forgiveness has to offer.
I would love a copy of this book, from all these comments we all deal with forgiveness of others or ourselves at some time in our lives.