We had what felt like a storybook Christian romance. Mike was tall, dark and handsome. He had a successful business and he loved Jesus. But to top it all off, instead of asking me for a date, Mike asked if we could “court.”
Our lives were connected on so many levels. We lived on the same floor of the same apartment complex. We attended the same church. And we had several mutual friends. We loved when people told us we made a great couple, in life and in ministry.
Eventually we started praying about marriage and talked to our pastor. Not long after, Mike proposed.
But two weeks into our engagement he looked into my eyes and said: “I’ve made a horrible mistake. You are not the one God wants me to marry.”
I was devastated and wondered what I’d done to make God change His mind.
After counseling and walking through a painful process of forgiveness, I eventually recovered. Much to my surprise, Mike showed back up in my life and asked me to consider rebuilding our friendship.
I was shocked and hesitant. But I also wondered if God wanted to redeem our story. Eventually I gave Mike a second chance. We spent time with friends and took things slowly. But in time, the topic of marriage came up. He proposed again. And he dumped me again!
That time I got smart and kept the ring, holding it as collateral to get Mike to counseling with me. In our first session, the counselor explained that Mike had a fear of commitment. Having a name for it helped me feel better, but Mike felt embarrassed and ashamed.
One night I woke up with a deep sense of concern for him, so I drove to his apartment. Sitting in the parking lot, I felt compelled to get in his van and pray for him. Afterwards I opened my eyes and noticed his journal sitting on the console.
Though I shouldn’t have opened it, I turned to the entries he had written when he called off our engagement. I came face-to-face with why he didn’t want to marry. There were many things about me he wished were different.
After reading Mike’s journal, every time I stood in front of a mirror, doubt whispered: No man will ever want you. You’ll never be good enough.
Rejection. Betrayal. Abandonment. Our greatest fears can become reality. Maybe your father abandoned you, or your husband betrayed you. Maybe your best friend broke your trust, or your teenager has shut you out.
The deep pain from broken relationships can make us doubt our value. We begin to see ourselves as disposable. Easily replaced. Not good enough.
One morning, I woke up and felt the heavy weight of rejection. Opening my Bible, I read through the book of Isaiah and landed in chapter 54. There, God showed me He is my Maker, Husband and Redeemer – the One who bestows the honor and acceptance I long for.
As devastating as it was, I learned two life-changing lessons from the pain:
• I have to choose to separate myself, and my worth, from a man’s decision to want me or not.
• I have to hold others’ words and preferences up to God’s Word and choose which one I will rely on.
Although people’s preferences will change, God’s desire for us won’t. Others might not think we’re good enough, but God always will. And even if someone decides they don’t desire us anymore, God most certainly does!
The truth is, when we belong to Jesus we are loved and accepted forever. We are covered in His goodness, and His goodness makes us good enough!
*****
The more we grasp God’s love for us, and let Him really love us,
the more confident and secure we become.
To help you experience the depth of HIS love, I’m hosting “Let God Love You” {love} fest and contest! Here’s what you can expect and how you can enter to WIN: (The giveaway is now over, but would still love to hear from you!)
- I’ll be sharing a few devotions from my new Confident Heart Devotional to help you experience the depth of HIS love right here on my blog all month!
- My publisher and I are giving away 2 Prize Packs that both include: a $50 gift card, 2 signed copies of my devotional book and an 8×10 print by one of my favorites ~Emily Burger Designs!CLICK HERE to find out how you can enter to win by sharing the {love} on Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter! BUT first enter to win….
TODAY’s GIVEAWAY
Share your thoughts about today’s post in the comments, and let me know who you’d give a copy to, if you won 2 copies of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I’ll be giving away 2 copies. Winners announced next week. Enter and share with friends today!
Today’s post includes a partial excerpt from my NEW “A Confident Heart Devotional“ book. Used with permission from Revell Books.
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Once again I am blessed and amazed by God’s timing–his love and care for me! I’ve been struggling, disheartened by (what I perceive as) rejection from my step-son. This morning I’ve been reading scripture for comfort and have surely been met by our mighty and loving God. And now your story. He is SO GOOD! Thank you for sharing.
My second book would go to my 16 year old daughter, whom I strive to protect, and strengthen through God’s truth. There unfortunately is so much rejection (or again, perception of it?) at this age. The book would be a great blessing. If I don’t win them, I’ll definitely be purchasing them!
Thank you for your ministry!
After reading your story today it hit home how Jesus isTHE only one we truly can turn to in our wait to return home. Struggling in a relationship that very much a co- dependent one and that co-dependency is on me yet I don’t ever seem to live up to expectations. Kids that live in a world of “it’s all about me!” even though you teach them otherwise, can make one feel ever increasingly alone and sad. Your book would give uplifting where it is needed desperately. I would give the other copy to my sister who experiences a lot of the same things from her own children. We both love our Lord and Savoir very much!!!
I have struggled for years with self esteem issues. The Lord is healing me. I would like my friend, Cindy to start healing and feel worthy too.
If I won I would give one to my granddaughter who is 16 and so “in love”. I feel she is headed down the wrong path and would like to help bring her back before she gets too hurt. Thanks. Josie
My sister has gone through a hard divorce. She really needs to feel loved. She needs this book desperately!
You are so right, Renee. Only God has the right to tell us who we are and how valuable we are. After all, He made us, and is the only one who really knows us. It’s what He thinks that matters most. Thank you for sharing your story and for sharing encouragement with us all!
Thank you Renee for your free devotional it is perfect reading for my circumstances. I have had someone trying to change me into what they want. I have never been in a relationship like this before. I have felt crazy at times wondering what was wrong with me. I now study Gods Word every chance I get and I know that Gods unconditional love and that I was uniquely made in the womb are proof enough for me that I am ok and on my way. I would love a copy of your book for myself and a friend who is also going through alot of doubt due to her husband leaving her after 22 yars of marriage.Thank all of you wonderful Women who contribute to Proverbs 31 You have inspired me more than you will ever know God Bless You Beverly
This would be a perfect devotional for my 18 year old daughter and I to do together. I would give the extra copy to her. In an age where perfect models of women and products to get that way are in our faces all day long, my prayer is that she see her worth and beauty in the eyes of The Lord. Being single does not have to mean that you are alone. God is always with us and as a single woman and mother of 4 I don’t need to be married. God is my confidant, my best friend and my mate. He will never leave me or forget about me. I am confident of that.
I have finally purchased your book, after considering it for awhile. I look forward to reading A Confident Heart, and ask for many prayers as I seek confidence in God for my life. Thank you for writing encouragement and hope for all of those out there that need it.
I have read your book twice and gained new insight each time. I love your message and transparency. Your genuine love for women and helping them grow to be who God intended them to be is evident on each page. I have purchased 2 copies for family members and would love 2 more to give away as gifts to friends!
I have read “A Confident Heart” twice and continue to glean valuable insight from it, so I imagine the devotional to be just as beneficial. At first I thought I would give a copy of the devotional to my daughter, but on further thought, I’m thinking my mom. Even at 75+ years of age she struggles with being secure in who God made her to be.
I would give the other book to my mother in law, Cindy. She always encourages me and I’d like to encourage her for once.
THIS SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT DEVOTIONAL FOR WOMEN LIKE ME WHO HAVE STRUGGLED WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM!
I would give one to my daughter. She struggles so much with self-esteem, this would bless her!
1 Corinthians 14:12 “So with yourselves, since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, strive to excel in building up the church. Corinthians 14:12 “So with yourselves, since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, strive to excel in building up the church.ear Renee ~
I’m sorry for the pain you suffered. I can’t imagine how hurtful it must have been to read the words of someone you loved & trusted, as they convey, in black & white, all the ways you didn’t “measure up” in their eyes. For what it’s worth, I’m thankful that his true character was revealed before you were committed to him by the vows of matrimony.
I’m so very grateful that you put yourself elf “out there”, exposing your hurts & sharing how God has used them to make you more reliant on Him tha any man. I know I’m not the only one who struggles with having, keeping, & walking in Godly Confidence. Your transparency has helped me grow so much in this battle.
Whether I’m selected for the give-away or not, I plan to share the devotional with my niece, who repeatedly struggles with abandonment issues & continues to get sucked into the vortex of bad relationships, swallowing the lie that her fulfillment will be found in a man; insteadof grasping the fact that true & lasting fulfillment can come only from “The God-Man”, Jesus Christ.
As for the other copy… There is a sweet young lady at our church who has humbled herself & come to the Ladies’ Prayer Ministry to receive encouragement for an ongoing battle with accepting the full pardon that Jesus purchased on her behalf, even though she knows that “Jesus Paid It Al !” I don’t know her very well, but I can not express how many times I’ve thought of & prayed for her after reading one of your devotionals. God has blessed me with the opportunity to bump into her a few times recently & I don’t believe it was a fluke. I hope to be trusted by her enough someday to share with her a copy of your book and/or devotional.
Thank you for keepin’ it real! The rest of us need to know that there are others who are in the battle with us.
God’s Blessings on you, your family, & this much needed ministry!
~ Jackie
1 Corinthians 14:12
WOW:
“• I have to choose to separate myself, and my worth, from a man’s decision to want me or not.
• I have to hold others’ words and preferences up to God’s Word and choose which one I will rely on.
Although people’s preferences will change, God’s desire for us won’t. Others might not think we’re good enough, but God always will. And even if someone decides they don’t desire us anymore, God most certainly does!
The truth is, when we belong to Jesus we are loved and accepted forever. We are covered in His goodness, and His goodness makes us good enough!”
**TEARS!!!** THANK YOU!!! Me and my sister need this devotional…
I’d give loan one to my sister & one to my niece, then loan them out again to whoever it would bless. I was widowed for 5 years & God showed me in that time that He was the only One to fill the gap in my heart.
My husband and I are separated. I could really use your devotional right now… I just read today’s message, and know it was for me. I would give the additional copy to my friend Barb. She struggles as I do, being divorced, now living alone. Her entire family has passed on. We are both 62 years old. Thanks for the kind offer.
I’d share a copy with my friend and pastor’s wife…she didn’t expect to ever be a pastor’s wife when she married and it is sometimes challenging.
Your book has been such a blessing to me, especially Chapter 4. I would give a copy of devotional to my dear dear friend Kammy, who is stronger than she thinks she is.