“In the security of our relationship with Christ, God wants us to ask questions and look for answers that usher us into the depths of His redeeming love. He wants to give us the courage to live in the promise that He offers hope for our future despite the pain of our past.”
from Chapter 4, A Confident Heart
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Our Word for the week: HOPE
(Download in a PDF or download in MSWord). Please print it and post it everywhere this week.
HIS Word for us this week:
“May the God of hope fill [me] with all joy and peace as [I] trust in him, so that [I] may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13, NIV
Today’s Assignment:
Read the prayer at the end of Chapter 4 to begin your day. Then start or continue reading chapter 4. Remember to take your time and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart.
Connecting in Community:
As we read chapter4 this week, let’s share here – answers to the questions, sentences we’re highlighting, thoughts we’re thinking, feelings and fears we’re experiencing. This can be a hard chapter for some because it addresses our past and our pain. Let’s pray for each other each day and commit to memorize this week’s verse together! If you are in, leave a comment by clicking on “share your thoughts” and tell us how you plan to memorize it. I’m writing it on a ceramic plate in my kitchen. I’ll be praying it for you every time I see it.
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This was a hard chapter for me. You see, I hate to look back at the hurts of my past. When I dare to admit that my life has been very painful, I feel guilty because I look around at others and see that their lives have been more painful than mine. I was the “good” girl growing up. I never drank, partied or used drugs. I didn’t do any of the things “bad” girls do. I hate conflict, so in order to avoid it, I became a perfectionist. I put on my mask that says nothing is wrong. But deep down, I’ve always known it wasn’t true. I know my past has affected me because now my life is lived based on fear. I’m afraid to let anyone see that I’m anything less than perfect. I know this is not the way God wants me to live my life, so I am going to work on surrendering all that pain and perfectionistic tendencies to Him.
Connie,
My circumstances are very similar to yours, good girl, never did the bad stuff, life is pretty good but oh the pain of the past that I haven’t addressed, living with functional but alcohol abusing parents, emotion abuse, never good enough and usually invisible. I’m glad chapter 4 made me address these issues which have brought fear into my life and I can’t wait to get further into the book to see how to address these hurts.
I know God is my constant source of strength but I want to stop this repeating pattern in my life.
Renee,
I normally would never post anything on websites like this, but I have to tell you that when I read your book, it is almost as though you have written these words for my heart. Last night I wept as I was reading chapter 4. I have always had a difficult relationship with men that originated with my own father. I know now that I can grieve for what will never be and let God come into those really hurtful and dark places. I have always just pushed the pain farther and farther down so I don’t have to feel or deal with that pain. When you talked about getting easily angered it was like seeing my own reflection. I have unrealistic expectations and when they aren’t realized I am disappointed and retreat into myself so I won’t be hurt again. Thanks for your book, it is helping me see things clearer as I didn’t realize why I feel or respond the way I do.
Bless you Girl. God wants to heal your heart and restore full confidence! Keep reading the book and claiming the Word- He wants to do great things through you!
Dear Ladies of the Confident Heart, For those of you who know my handle, you know I am usually at Starbucks. No surprise there. Except today I am really tired. I have been fighting an infection for a month, and now I got a super case of “Cottonwood-itus”. The town I live in is called Cottonwood for a reason and i seem to have a lowered immune system, so I feel the allergy symptoms in overload.
My hope is in the Lord.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV)
I appreciate your prayers.
Praying for my sister, Deena. God, would you put Your Hand of healing on her? May Christ be glorified in her weakness. Amen.
how are you feeling today, deena? continuing to pray for God’s healing and wholeness in your body. <3
Renee…as I continue reading your book for the 2nd time as I follow along with the online study, I find myself incredibly thankful for you and how God it utilizing you to bring encouragement to other woman.
Chapter 4 is a hard one…but, such a powerful message. I skipped over the timeline the first time though but began working on it the past couple days. I find myself with much to say, but unable to find the right words.
So, I will leave you with Thank You again!
God Bless you!!
A great chapter for a difficult week, a couple we knew from church, her husband was suddenly sick, and passed away in a day or two after being diagnosed. Very sad, and my heart is very heavy for her and their 3 young children, as I think of their unbearable pain in this moment, What stood out from chapter 4 was “Have you ever asked, “if God loves me, why….?”. I have asked why, many, many times. I love how it goes on to say, “in the security of our relationship with Christ, God wants us to ask the hard questions and look for answers that usher us into the depths of His redeeming love. He wants us to live in the promise that He offers hope for our future despite the pain of our past. He knows our past and our pain can actually lead us to His plans and hope for our future.”. (jer.29:11). I have learned to see God more in the midst of challenges – it is easier to want the good times, but, I find that tough times really lead me to the heart of God. It is here, I dig down deep to spend time with Him, searching for His Presence and Help, and guidance, It is here he fills my heart with His peace that transcends all understanding (Phil. 4:7). And He directs my heart forward into the hope and plans that He has for my future.
I have seen my best friend go through the loss of her eldest child due to suicide, and see her heart battle thru those hard questions – daily- and battle to stay close to God, trusting His plans for her, I have seen Him help her and protect her and bless her in the years that have followed. I have seen Him work in friends lives, and I am also praying he will lift up my very sad, heartbroken friend Jill and her children at this time as well.
Thanks Renee for the encouragement, and the reminder to let God use our pain – that we don’t feel like we have to run fri. It, but instead, run to Him, who will help us!
Thank you for sharing Jackie, I too seem to seek God more in difficult times. I too have seen Gods handy work in the lives of family and friends after difficult times, when they could have and some have had given up on God, lost their hope, but in time with prayers and friends and Gods hands each situation turned out okay according to Gods plans and the blessing He provided in those later years. We all just have to continue to have faith, love and hope no matter what comes our way. And yest it too touched my heart to know that God uses our pain to what is best for us and that God does not want us to run from it but to run to Him for encouragement, love, comfort and strength. God Bless, lifting up prayers for your family and friends during these difficult times.
Thank you Renee for your video because I too skipped over the timeline, but last night around midnight I wrote out a timeline and found that my lack of confidence began in 4th grade and I continued to see a pattern right through this past Sunday, Mother’s Day the same pattern culminating in a lack of worth,
stemming from abandonment in relationships and emotional bullying, that began all those years ago abd now resides in my own family those nearest and dearest to me. They don’t realize how they treat me, but the important realization for me is that I let it continue. It’s better to just remain quiet has been my motto. It’s even surfaced at work during faculty meetings, no one would be interested in what I would have to share or they would immediately shoot down my ideas.
Renee, you’ve encouraged us to write down our story and share it with others. This is very timely for me because I have a dusty manuscript on the shelf from my college years, remembering the peer pressure, popularity or lack of and yes, there was emotional bullying too. And I felt called recently to write a book about end of life since my mother passed away this year and my father four years ago and with them went my emotional support system. But nothing was inspiring me to complete these projects. Now I realize that’s because I was not starting at the beginning. So, with God’s help, I’m going to start at the beginning. It wasn’t easy crying all those tears last evening but it was cleansing.
Thank you!
Thank you, Renee, for your very encouraging comments Monday morning. I appreciate your book, but I appreciate even more how genuine you are and how the Lord has given you such a generous love for women.
I’ve had an a epiphany as a result of reading chapter 4, this morning….I am living my life based on current circumstances, as well as hurts and pains of the past, and I need to stop!
This way of living is impeding my progress, growth, and development, both personally, and spiritually. I realize, however, that I cannot reverse this destructive course by my own will, but that I will have to pray earnestly, and diligently for my turnaround.
Please pray for me.
Lord Jesus, I pray for my sister, Colora. She is asking for change and You are the ultimate Changer. I pray that You would give her the strength to make the right decision of thought life each time destructive thoughts tempt her. Thank you for Your love for her!
I am so glad Renee did the video to go with this chapter. I admit, I struggled with the timeline, as well! I skipped over it the first time I read it, and then, even when I read the book for a second time to do the study here on the blog, I skipped it AGAIN! But the Lord gently nudged my heart to trust Him…to trust Him to sit down WITH Him and face my past. He loves us so much, He wants the healing to be complete.
I checked with Renee and got the okay to give you a link to the actual post I wrote from when I finally went back and did the timeline. I want to encourage you to trust Him….His love for you, His plans for you…when you do sit down to go through those things with Him. And I love that Renee says you don’t have to do it all at once.
http://plantingofthelord.blogspot.com/2012/02/facing-my-past.html
Thanking Him for the tenderness, the completeness of His love. May we trust Him with our deepest hurts.
Memorizing this week’s verse…..I have a large collection of pretty (all kinds of designs on them) sticky notes. Each day I will write the verse on at least two of those sticky notes (which will reinforce my memorization of the verse), and then, while commuting each day, “stick” each note somewhere (on a wall, the back of a train/bus seat, etc…) with a prayer that someone who really needs an uplifting will see it.
Amen, what a great idea to share Gods word…. I love it…God Bless
i NEVER would have thought of that idea, colora! thank you! <3
Just reading the title of chapter 4 gave me a deep challenge and it felt like I was standing literally on the threshold of a doorway where my soul would find new freedom in dealing with past pain. God promises hope and I want to trust in that real HOPE. A lot of the pain has been and is woven into family life, some layers have already been workked through with forgiveness but old wounds resuface now and again if triggered by other things. Years ago the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart in a difficult family time to help me recognise that I had ‘ A Wounded Mother Heart’ and that wounds can and do heal. I am remembering this now as I read this timely and God given chapter. Thankyou
Thank you God for Renee. This is a new journey for me. Thank you to all my sisters in christ for sharing your story you have shown what a wonderful God we serve and that we can Trust him. i love this week verse and i know the word of God will never return void.
Amen Sister!
I’m in!!!! Thank you for preparing some of us ladies before diving in to chapter 4, This chapter will affect all of us differently-some deep pain and past hurts, but it’s good to get it out of us, learning to let go and let God, has always been hard for me to do!!! Thank you Renee for the video at least I can open my my mind and heart to this next chapter…and get the tissue out because I know I’ll be crying a bit…
I have been printing out the word of the week that has the verse of the week on it and putting it on my fridge, my bathroom mirror- and before I go to sleep at night I write it out (along w/ the past ones so I don’t forget them too) and say it out loud.
Aloha from Hawaii xoxoxoxoxox
HI DONNA,
I had to take out the tissue paper out after I got the courage to go through this timeline and go through
some painful memories. Thank God we don’t have to stay there but god wants us to have Hope. He is our hope and our healer and our savior. I praise God for his healing word. I will continue to pray for you.
God bless You!
Just watched your video, Renee. I went through this study last time, a couple of months ago, and it was so powerful for me! I am following along again. To all those going through this fabulous study for the first time…just wait for chapters six and seven!!! Can’t thank you enough, Renee. Glory to God, and love, peace, and thanks to you for all you do.
Thanks for your video post.I was just thinking, and I haven’t even finished all of chapter 4,”do I really want to go through this?” I realize after listening and rating some of the other comments on her that this is a process.That is ok”He who began a good work in me will see out to completion” I will pick the book back up this evening and face my demons.I have placed my verse in my phone as the background, and on a card right above the kitchen sink
ok. So i had to take a deep breath when I read this chapter. The forgiving part and the timeline part. Wow. As i have been leading this study with 12 other women I think it has been ministering to me the most. I don’t have to pretend anymore. It has taken me awhile to go deeper in my timeline with God. The other night I woke up or should I say the Lord woke me up, at 4am and that’s when I started going through my timeline…slowly and deeper. I cried and felt the Lord heal me in some areas I needed to forgive and allow Him to heal. He uncovered some areas of deceit and got a couple scriptures to counteract with some truths. I felt lighter, free-er. Wow, I pray that my sisters who read this can ask the Lord for courage and allow the Lord to touch those areas in our heart where we haven’t let Him in yet. Love and Prayers.
Wow Renee. I am just bursting with joy after reading chapter 4. Now that may seem like a strange response to be joyful after reflecting on past pain. However, there is hope. He is my hope. I have a pain filled story just as many do, and this chapter helped me revisit the past and heal it! I am also now feeling led by the Spirit to open up more about my past and hopefully help others who are going thru the same thing and let them know that He is our hope!!
I always print out the word and verse for the week and my computer is in the living room of our little Cape Cod home so I see it all day long and when I am by the computer it is there with me to read and memorize. I did a study with Dee Brestin called a Woman of Moderation and we had verses each week there also so I bought an index card spiral and have learned to write my favorite verses in there and keep them in one place so I can find them at hand when I needed them, so I am adding these to that index spiral and it works good for me to know where I can go to find my verses. The spirals are also easy to take with you and stuff in your purse so you can read them when you sit waiting for an apt. or whatever.
I thank God for being apart of this online bible study community. It is very encouraging and uplifting. I look forward to the online messages, they give me much comfort and hope that I can make it through. I plan to memorize this week’s verse by placing it many places in my home 🙂 Everyone have a wonderful week!
~ Blessings
Happy Monday! Whoa…”but please, please, please don’t make me share my (shameful) story.” That’s exactly where I am. I am very ashamed of my past as I did the wrong thing, made the wrong choice chasing after my “happily-ever-after”. “Something had changed.” – one can’t truly encounter Jesus & not be changed, transformed. “He knew my failures & my shame, & He loved me completely” (still, anyway).