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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

{week 2} To Be Known Is to Be Loved

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From Chapter 2, A Confident Heart

“Jesus knew Sam’s (the Samaritan woman’s) story and He knows yours. The Greek word for “know” is yada. It means a deep emotional experience; a bonding between two people when one truly feels the emotions of the other. Jesus knows your pain, fears, doubts, and disappointments. He understands your dreams and desires.

Although some of us feel uncomfortable that God knows so much about us, it is good to be known, to be listened to and not judged. Jesus is the only One who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are. We can offer nothing but our presence, and He will desire us just the same…

There are many religions but did you know that Christianity is the only faith that offers a relationship with the living God? We don’t just know about our God; our God wants us to know Him. And we were created for that kind of relationship.

Jesus created us to have lasting soul-security in knowing we are valued and pursued by the One who knows and loves us—the One who created our inmost being and wove us together in our mother’s womb (Ps. 139:13). Have you let the gospel of God’s grace move from your head to your heart, so that you know without a doubt you are known intimately and loved completely by God?” (p. 40 printed copy)

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Our word this week is  “Known”

Our verse of the week is Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (NIV)

This week’s video message is below. Please click the arrow to watch it  – all the way through. You’ll be so glad you did.

(from video script)

I WANT TO BE KNOWN
I want someone to look at my face
And not just see two eyes, a nose,
a mouth and two ears
But to see all that I am, and could be
all my hopes, loves and fears…

And YOU know me
You actually know me
all of me and everything about me
Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread
My past and my future, all I am and could be
You tell me everything,
You tell me about ME
And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation
Coming from Youu brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation
I’ve heard of One to come
who could save a wretch like me
And here in my presence, You say
I AM HE…

(read full script here)

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Today’s Assignment:

  • Read this week’s memory verse (Jeremiah 1:5). Ask God to remind you all week that He knows the way you long to be known, pursued and loved!
  • Start or continue reading chapter 2. Remember, take your time and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart.

Connect in Community:

What about today’s video or sentences in Chapter 2 resonate most with you?

  • Please click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post and do just that.  (Remember to go to my website to do this)
  • Optional: I’d love for you to share one of them on our Confident Heart Community Page and/or share them with me on Twitter (@reneesswope). I’d love to retweet them! Also let’s use #AConfidentHeart so we can encourage one another and find them easily.

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I’ll announce last week’s winners in my Weds. post.

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Comments

  2. I felt it when “You know me” was said. I have always casually thought, yes, Jesus knows everyone. But like so many of the promises we are learning, I never took that to heart until I studied the names of God. El Roi is the name of God I identify with the most, it means “The God Who Sees Me”. It was the name Haggar called God when he came to her after she was pregnant and ran away from Sarah (or was she Sari at the time, sorry I have forgotten). She felt alone, betrayed, and lost, and God spoke directly to her, just like the woman at the well. I had long since though lost the joy of finding out about El Roi. I let it become another fact in my brain, and not a piece of my heart as it was back when I first heard the name. I also never really thought about Haggar, or the woman at the well, and how they must have felt having someone see, and love them for who they were. I have felt I have to put on a facade at church, and around other women for so long, no one has been able to see the real me. I have worn that facade since I was a child though quite honestly. I didn’t want the pain of being made fun of back then, the bullying, and now put that facade on because I have been betrayed and hurt by my grown up friends so many times I gave up on them all, and on making friends all together. I am starting to realize though that God is the only friend I can really trust, and that I have to be much more cautious than I was in who I give trust to, or let my heart be opened up to. The child in my wanted so much to be loved, and filled, like Lysa said in the forward, that I was looking for a “fill up”. Holding out my cup and waiting for someone to fill me. Now I know I have to fill myself with God first. I have to bring El Roi/Jesus closer, and believe in His promises, believe they are for me. Once that happens, as someone wise here said to be, “God will bring the right people into your life”. I never consulted God about my friendships before, and now I know my every move should be talked through with Him. I am learning so much through these videos, the people here, and Renee’s book. Thank you Renee, all of you here, and for the video Renee, it was amazing, and really touched my heart.

    • What an awesome reminder about the story of Hagar as well- I had never really noticed before about her calling God “El Roi.” Amazing. Powerful. Thank you.

    • Oh, and isn’t it interesting that we were just talking about the Earthly Father/God as Father correlation at the end of the last chapter, and then Renee echoes it this week? What neat confirmation.

  3. Interesting…I needed to hear this this week in particular. What stuck out in my mind was when she said that
    “To be known is to be loved
    And to be loved is to be known
    And I just met you

    I don’t know you but I want to get to”

    I don’t know Christ all that well yet. In fact, I’m having a hard time trusting Him…me…anything. But, the verse this week gives me hope that He does know me. He knows what I’m going through. I’ve had a hard time…I’m fighting myself in many ways. But, he’s given me the strength to go through this….and face this huge Goliath in my life. And reading this book makes me want to dive deeper in Him. I don’t want religion…I want a relationship. I just visited a church yesterday and I was so discouraged. My partner and I didn’t like it. I felt uncomfortable and out of place. I was thinking about giving up on Christ. But, today’s verse (and beginning to read Chapter 2) and seeing the video today has made me stop and think twice about doing that. I will keep trying….because he does know me. I want to get to know Him. I wonder if its too late….if He’s forgotten about me…..but this verse reminds me He hasn’t forgotten. He won’t forget. He loves me and knows ALL about me.

    • Brooke, I hope that you will find a church where Christ’s love is lived out towards you. The beautiful and yet unfortunate thing about Christianity is that it is for imperfect people. Remember to not look to others as the image of what this faith is about because we all remain imperfect (but now covered by grace and striving to be more like Him) but look to Christ- He is the perfect example. Again though, it’s beautiful that His love is for us imperfect ones… we all need Him. He will never leave you or forsake you once you’ve entered into relationship with him (Hebrews 13:5)- a great promise to hang onto!

  4. I remeber seeing this during the last study and how moving it was and is every time I watch it. It has been a “typical” Monday and a meeting ended on a less than positive onte and came homw to viewing the video and all the “drama” faded away. I am looking forward to diging into Chapter 2 tonight. Blessings to all my ACH sisters.

  5. There are so many things I want to write….but all I can think right now is “WOW”. With tears in my eyes I watched that young girls say…

    “You actually know me
    all of me and everything about me
    Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
    Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread
    My past and my future, all I am and could be”

    At 45, I look back on a life filled with a desperate child (even once grown) silently crying wishing someone would notice, but trying desperately not to be notice….if that makes any sense. My Father was a raging bi-polar alcoholic….the meanest person you would ever meet when he was drunk and the kindest, most generous man when he wasn’t. My Mother did the best she could for her six children, most of whom rebelled against our Father and our situation, causing my Mother more grief and heatache. I tried very hard to not to rock the boat, to be good so she wouldn’t have to worry about me too. In so doing, I became the one who didn’t need the attention and therefore wasn’t given any. While outwardly I was trying to go unnoticed and not cause any problems for anyone, inwardly I was screaming for someone to please notice me.

    As I grew up, I did everything I was supposed to. I made good grades, got a scholarship to college, was the only one of my siblings to get a college degree. Everyone thought of me as the responsible “together” one…..not needing anyone or anything. But I desperately needed something, anything!

    I went on to a successful career, a marriage most thought was storybook, two beautiful little girls. On the outside, I had everything anyone could want. But nobody really knew me. Had they, they would have seen a little girl desperate for someone to really know her, to really love her.

    In search of that love, I went through two marriages, a career and a whole lot of sin too graphic to get into here, to finally realize Jesus was my answer. At my lowest low, I hit my knees and admitted I didn’t know Him, but begged Him to please give me relief from this life of loneliness. And to my utter surprise, He met me right there, in that moment, and I knew He knew. I didn’t know any scripture. I didn’t know the verse, but I KNEW he KNEW and I KNEW he CARED. The hole in my heart I had been trying to fill had found what it was missing – Jesus.

    As I sit here now, the tears streaming down my face aren’t the tears of a lonely child desperate for attention, they are the tears of a woman redeemed. A woman who knows she will NEVER be alone again, because HE knew me, before I was born…..he was there with me every time I hid in my room trying not to hear my Father hit my Mother…..he was there when I longed to be loved…..He was there when I did the things I did to try to fill that hole…..He was always there and even though He has seen me at my worst, He still chose me to be His child and I am not alone.

    Thank you for sharing the video. I wish I could speak to those girls who are so lost and alone…..let them know before they make all the mistakes I did that HE KNOWS, HE CARES and HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE THEM.

    Blessings!

    • Michelle I was sitting here reading your message and I can so relate to what you experienced. I too had most of the same desires and had an abusive father. He was so abusive I watched my mother have three nervous breakdowns. As a child I felt so alone. As a teenager that loneliness grew and as a woman that was divorced three times it really grew until… I called out to God during my last divorce. I felt that all my life people left me. But God was there the whole time. I am so thankful that we made it thru and that God held us up when we thought we couldnt go on and look at the new thing He is doing in this setting right here. I am so glad to FINALLY be KNOWN! Thanks for sharing and know that you werent the only one.

    • What a beautiful story of redemption- beauty from ashes. I LOVE hearing/seeing how God can take that which seems beyond hope and make it His- whole and alive.

  6. So powerful! Too many of us get to know and then judge, condemn, dislike…even hate. Jesus doesn’t do that, and he doesn’t want us to either. He doesn’t want us to judge and condemn or even dislike. I wish this hold on us was not there, but it is and it needs to be dealt with, because until or unless it is….we will never ever be free.
    I must rely on His power to set me free, to change me, to help me to think differently and to pray that others will learn to think differently.
    Thanks for this video….

  7. powerful video! to know is to be loved! the line I just met you I don’t know you, but I want to and also the lines you really know me and e everything about me! I loved the video. very pwerful! Thank you Renee!

  8. I can relate to the emptiness felt by not having a father growing up. Going through relationships (friends/boyfriends) hoping for them to fill me up, but never to be satisfied. And not knowing how Jesus fit that role – until now. I have a deep desire to be truly known, and significant and after 30+ years of thinking that being kind, being popular, being social in all the “RIGHT” circles would make me feel known and significant, I am relieved to know that Jesus ALREADY knows me and I am significant to Him. It’s exciting to have that burden lifted! And knowing Jesus meets us wherever we are at in our lives is comforting and gives me “permission” to not be hard on myself for not “doing enough”. I am so thankful, Renee, for you, your book, and your desire to share your feelings about your own struggles and how Jesus changed your life by unveiling the well within you!

    • You are not alone, Angie! Many of the ladies in this study can relate and I so appreciate your willingness to be open and share on this forum. Blessings to you!

  9. I love what Lelia says not to just read this as ” another good book’ but to relax ……mmmmm relax indeed
    and soak it all in see what it is the Lord has for us each of us individually right where we are in our personal walks and through it may growth take place !!! I love the book Renee thank you for your wisdom and transparency !!!

  10. And you know me
    You actually know me
    all of me and everything about me
    Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
    Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread

    My past and my future, all I am and could be
    You tell me everything,
    you tell me about ME

    And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation
    Coming from you brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation

    Wow, this part of the poem really spoke to me. Loved being reminded that no matter my past, no matter the choices I have made or will make- HE still loves me! HE has nothing but love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation for ME! What a blessing to be reminded of this!!!

  11. “And you know me
    You actually know me
    all of me and everything about me
    Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
    Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread

    My past and my future, all I am and could be
    You tell me everything,
    you tell me about ME

    And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation
    Coming from you brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation

    I’ve heard of one to come
    who could save a wretch like me
    And here in my presence, you say
    I AM HE

    To be known is to be loved
    And to be loved is to be known
    And I just met you

    I don’t know you but I want to get to”

    This whole poem spoke to me on so many levels. I am dealing with a son and his girlfriend that have and keep trying to portray me as a bad person. I know in my heart I am NOT. All I want is happiness and love for my family but some people want to break me down to my very core. I believe God put this bible study in front of me(I was just searching for inspirational quotes when I found this website)so that I may know He LOVES me, ALL of me!!
    I am not a ‘new’ believer but I am a NEW follower. I have believed in God my whole life but I never took time out to really get to know him. I believe he put me in this trial for me to know him and love him!
    I just pray God will soften my sons girlfriend’s heart so that I may be able to spend some time with my new little grandson.

    • Suzeanne , it is so hard when our children do that. For me, it felt like betrayal, but God reminded me that Jesus was also betrayed. God bless you as you walk with Him through this time. Saying a prayer for you.

  12. Alot in Ch 2 spoke to me but especially your comment on Page 42 where, as a kid, you perceived God as distant, unavailable, unapproachable and someone to fear. I also feel that way. As I recall in my childhood, God was used as a disciplinary tool — “Behave or God will punish you” so you grow up fearing him instead of “knowing” him as your truest friend.

  13. I am so glad to be a part of this Bible/book study. I grew up in surrounded by judgmental attitudes that I thought were justified by Christ. As I have grown in my knowledge and relationship with Christ, He has shown me how that judgmental attitude seeped into and became a part of my life. It made me doubt who I was in Christ, whether I could do His work or share His love…I wasn’t worthy. In turn I past those attitudes on to my children and turned others away from Christ, I am sure. As God has been healing my heart and attitude, He has graciously been working in and through our children, too. A patient and loving husband is an answer to prayer and has changed the history of our family from now on.
    I relate to how “Sam” felt as she spoke to Jesus. Shame, unworthiness are ways Satan use to convince us we can not be about God’s work.

  14. The poem was awesome! In the reading, the sentence that most spoke to me was on p37 – “if you’ve ever doubted God’s personal pursuit of you, let this truth sink in, my friend: wherever you are , He wants to meet you there.” hmmm, IF I’ve ever… LOL. Its a constant doubt. I will read this chapter several times until I really let the truth reside in my heart. There was so much in here that I related to. Thank you again, Renee for doing this study

  15. Christianity is the only faith that offers a relationship with the living God. We don’t just know ABOUT our God; we KNOW God and He KNOWS us; our God wants us to KNOW Him. We were created for that kind of relationship. All other relationships pale by comparision to the relationship we have with Christ. And when we feel alone, lost in the shadows of despair, we are not lost at all, we are loved and hidden and protected in the SHADOW of his love, because he KNOWS us and he LOVES us. Keep me oh Lord as the apple of your eye, hide me in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 17:8

  16. Loved the video! Had to watch it twice I was so mesmerized by the words, and the words are so true! That is what makes it so great!

    The lines that really hit home for me were “And you know me, You actually know me, all of me and everything about me, Every thought inside and hair on top of my head,Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread, My past and my future, all I am and could be,You tell me everything,
    you tell me about ME.

    This is something I’ve always known, but watching this video and reading the words, Wow! Thank you Renee for sharing this with us!

    • Kelly, that was the section that struck me the most as well. So often we think we are hiding something from God, but we are not. He KNOWS us. Actually knows us- what we want known, and what we don’t, and loves us just the same. Amazing love.

    • This is so TRUE, but your right, reading and hearing the words hit home in my heart. It is true, sometimes we all think that what we feel, see, or doing is hide away, BUT it is not, God sees and hears all. So we are only fooling ourselves. Knowing the God is watching and protected me at all times is something that i keep close to me at all times. I am too thank you that the Lord loves us unconditional with all our flaws, mistakes, but that He also does not judge us and give us forgiveness if we ask for His love is amazing. Thank you for sharing,
      God Bless

  17. One of my prayers for each of you who are doing this study, is that you let your heart relax and don’t just try to get through “another good book”. That there will be moments in each chapter that you feel was written only for you. That God will get your attention as He did mine through this book and real change will occur.

    No matter what…continue to flip each page of this book, answer the questions, do the hard work and God will cause change in your heart what you didn’t even know needed change. Allow Him to replace the aches and doubts that only His confidence and love is capable of filling. He’s worth the hard work, frustration you may experience and tears that might be shed throughout this book for the end results. Keep pressing forward into His grace and confidence. You are so usable to Him no matter what you have done or experienced in your life. He loves us as is….what a God! 🙂

    • I love your wisdom (as a woman who I know has read the book a few times) and I love your heart for our sweet community of sisters seeking Jesus and His heart for us (a confident heart) as we take this journey together. You are right – some of it can be hard work – letting Him love us and heal us and change us from the inside out.

      Thank you for speaking confidence and praying encouragement over each woman here Lelia – including me!!

      • Thank you Renee! You are a real blessing to the women of God who are being changed by your obedience and your love for hurting women of God. Thank you a million times over!

  18. Hi everyone. This study has been really great. 🙂 I am not sure if this is acceptable or not but I was wondering if you could please keep me in prayer. I am currently in school, and need to pass my Greek final so that I will pass my Greek class. Right now I have a D in Greek, and it is kinda stressing me out. Also, I have to write a paper on Rev. 18:2, and I do not understand what most of the sources that I am using are saying. lol The paper is due on Wed.

    My final prayer request is that I will be able to let go of a friend. It has been two years and for some reason I can’t let this friend go. I live in the dorms and this friend lives beside me and go to school with me. She is also part of the praise team at my church so every time I go to church I have to see her. I am still hurt that she doesn’t want to be my friend, and seeing her is just a reminder of all the things that I did wrong in our friendship. It is hard to see her interacting with others and having a great time because it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me since she doesn’t want to be my friend. In addition, we used to be really close and now all we say is hi when we see each other. People keep telling me its been two years she has let it go you need to too. I am not sure why I am still holding on to wanting us to be friends or us having an actual conversation. It is really silly, and I just pray that God would help me to see why I am still holding on, and what it is going to take for me to really let it go. Thanks all. 🙂 Hope you have a blessed day. 🙂

    • Jessica,
      I will pray for your ability to accept the circumstances with your friend wishing to distance herself from your relationship. It’s difficult to loose a friendship you have come to value and even more difficult to not feel valued by that person. But this study is exactly what you need. God values you just as you are because that’s the way he created you! When one relationship ends, it’s an opportunity for a new relationship to begin. I will be praying for you to pass your Greek exam as well, such a difficult course!
      Be blessed and be a blessing!

      • Thank you so much Lynn for the encouragement. I really appreciate it. 🙂

    • I’m a bit late reading this (past the paper due date), but I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you Jessica. I think ‘letting go’ of the friendship is good advice to the point of not letting it be a hinderance to you… but at the same time I don’t think there is anything wrong with hoping for restoration if you do not become overtaken by that idea. God can heal relationships… but sometimes I do believe He removes relationships that get in the way of our relying on Him. My husband broke up with me for a period of time in college, and I firmly believe that that was why- for God to refocus me on Him as my confidant and strength… and after a long time of prayer and healing, God did restore our relationship. There is always hope, but just be sure to not let it overtake your thoughts.

  19. I have had “fire insurance” since I was 13 years old and thought I was doing ok. I’ve worked in church my whole life. Sad to say, at 60 years old I am finally realizing that my relationship with God is all one-sided. I’ve never listened to Him the way I should, never realized that He died because of His eternal love for ME. I’ve always known He died to make a way for me to be saved, but never thought about WHY. God loves me, He knows me, This poem and the others submitted above really make it clear just how much He loves me. This is my third time through this study and each time I learn more. Praise God for all of you. Thanks, Renee, for the opportunity to get to know you and so many other sisters-in-Christ.

  20. My husband and I were just talking about the Samaritain woman last night and how Christ did not condenm ner and how we are not to condemn others that are in need to Christ love. What a great thought to be truely know by God. Thank you Jesus.

    • Sarah thank you for sharing. Your reply spoke to me. I have had three husbands and I know how that Samaritan woman must have felt but to be known by God is truly amazing. So called Christian friends have judged, condemned, criticized, walked out, lied to me and about me, yet God was there telling me He understood me. He knew my motive was pure but that I had been deceived. The one prayer I have is to never be deceived again when it comes to marriage. How painful but how necessary for me because it brought me to the feet of Jesus over and over again. I am so very thankful that I am KNOWN by HIM the all Important One! The only REAL Lover of my soul. Thank you Jesus!