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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

{Week 1} To Be Known Is to Be Loved – chapter 2

Jerem 3.5

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We’re going to read chapter 1 and 2 this week, so today I wanted to lead those of you who are ready to go with me to the next chapter.

From Chapter 2, A Confident Heart
 “Jesus knew Sam’s (the Samaritan woman’s) story and He knows yours. The Greek word for “know” is yada. It means a deep emotional experience; a bonding between two people when one truly feels the emotions of the other. Jesus knows your pain, fears, doubts, and disappointments. He understands your dreams and desires.

Although some of us feel uncomfortable that God knows so much about us, it is good to be known, to be listened to and not judged. Jesus is the only One who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are. We can offer nothing but our presence, and He will desire us just the same…”

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Our word this week is  “Known”

Our verse of the week is Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (NIV)

This week’s video message is below. Please click the arrow to watch it  – all the way through. You’ll be so glad you did.

(from video script)

I WANT TO BE KNOWN
I want someone to look at my face
And not just see two eyes, a nose,
a mouth and two ears
But to see all that I am, and could be
all my hopes, loves and fears…

And YOU know me
You actually know me
all of me and everything about me
Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread
My past and my future, all I am and could be
You tell me everything,
You tell me about ME
And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation
Coming from Youu brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation
I’ve heard of One to come
who could save a wretch like me
And here in my presence, You say
I AM HE…

(read full script here)

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Today’s Assignment:

  • Read this week’s memory verse (Jeremiah 1:5). Ask God to remind you all week that He knows the way you long to be known, pursued and loved!
  • Start or continue reading chapter 2. If you already did or you are just starting, read it slowly and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart. Journal your thoughts if you want the lessons to stay with you.

Connect in Community:

What about today’s video or sentences in Chapter 2 resonate most with you?

  • Please click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post and do just that.  (REMEMER: If  you are reading this via email, you will need to click here to go to my blog to watch the video and share in the comments section.)
  • Optional: If you are on Facebook and/or Twitter, I’d love for you to share your favorite quotes on our Confident Heart Community Facebook Page and/or share them with me on Twitter (@reneesswope) I’d love to retweet them! Also let’s use #AConfidentHeart as our hashtag. 🙂

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Comments

  1. The woman at the well has got to be my favourite story in the bible, when I read it I think of myself, meeting Jesus, with all my baggage I have, I am accepted, loved, forgiven, and come face to face, with the person who knows everything about me, and still loves. I believe every woman wants to be loved, accepted, be completely real, I can find that with Jesus.

  2. The video – what a surprise. She listed off every insecurity I felt like a deer in the headlights, then just as quickly I was exalted in the fact the God KNOWS me. Absolutely wonderful!!

  3. WOW!!! I hadn’t read chapter 2 until today and know God has put me in the right place at the right time!!! I would have to say the whole video resonates with me and I would have to type the whole chapter out cause it all resonated with me as well. I had not read your story before Renee and a lot of the same feelings you had i too had. My mom and dad separated when i was 4 and i to felt all the same things you mentioned. I have been married twice and Sam truly knows how i feel and her story resonated with me. I had no idea that what i was going to read to night would help me the way it has but God did and for this I am thankful!!! I can feel the confidence building already!!!

    • Praising Him with you! Keep your eyes and heart focused on Him! More confidence is on it’s way to you through Him.

  4. “You don’t have to pretend things are fine when they aren’t.” I can honestly admit that at the end of this chapter, tears fell down my face. I realized that I have said the words “I’m fine” more than ever in the past year. After a painful end to a relationship, I questioned why God would bring me such pain; why he would take away a person that provided me with so much love and joy and make me feel as though I was nothing. I would often say I’m fine and then run to a place and cry. I was a complete and utter wreck. And it was because I was not truly understanding that God works all things for the better. God wanted me closer to Him and in a relationship with Him. I would have never got to this point had I gone on with the same frame of mind as I was in during that relationship. I wanted God to be that magic genie; I wanted the marriage and the kids and the house with the white fence. I wanted all of that from Him when I did not really know him. I have come to the point now where I talk to God many times a day and EVERY day. I bring him every worry, fear, dread, hope, etc. I am working on a relationship with Him where I can let my guard down. A relationship where I don’t need to worry that I am constantly a failure…because God’s love is perfect, I don’t have to be!

  5. “You can’t be worth much if your own dad leaves you!” Says the little voice in my head. And while my brain knows it didn’t have anything to do with me, my heart and soul have always felt inadequate. I am afraid that I have transferred my experience with a leaving father into my relationship with God my father. It is hard for me to truly believe that God could possibly love me knowing me as he does. Chapter 2 has enlightened me to see that “The only way we’ll have a confident heart is if we move beyond knowing about God to knowing and relying on Him—to depending on His Word with our whole heart, mind, and soul.”

    • Cindy,

      What til you get to Chapter 5! God is going to reveal so much more of Himself to you along the way! Love how Renee calls it moving God’s grace from your head to your heart!

      Praying for you.
      Donna

    • Cindy…I too was abandoned & rejected by my father…same voices! Your comment about ‘fear you transferred the experience of your leaving father to God your father’…I have felt that too!

      I will use your words slightly different…’I will not compare my leaving father to my loving father.’ That is very healing for me to see it like that! Thank you!

  6. Wow. I went into this expecting that I would ‘grow in Christ’. Typical, right? But I see a little bit of a twist in my expectation. I see that I may become better equipped to deal with my singleness…and that my heart would be better prepared to greet my Boaz…but definitely not in a way I would have expected. I have spent much of the past 3 years feeling that I don’t measure up….that I will never be good enough for a man in the church, the kind of man that I long for. I know that I am a daughter of the King, I know that He pursues my heart. But what I didn’t realize was that my focus had shifted to the members of my church. I didn’t realize that I’ve spent too much time every sunday morning feeling ‘the scorching pain of rejection and judgement’. Oh the woman at the well…how alone she must have felt on her journey. As a single mother and as a woman whose husband walked out on the marriage without a second thought, I have spent countless days and nights feeling alone…and also feeling that I was a second-class christian compared to others in my church. And yet, every sunday I hear myself say “I’m fine…we’re doing great!”. This chapter has been an eye-opener for sure. Excited for the great things He has in store throughout this journey!

  7. This may sound crazy but this made me feel less alone/more alone at the same time. The video and chapter 2 helped me see God’s work in progress (me) isn’t such a bad thing…. lol…. The aloneness comes from me wanting to have a person or core group of people for us to just be real, support, love and just be……

  8. Wow!! I listened & watched the video twice … and will be going back to watch it again after I am done. I personally carry so much guilt and doubt with me on a daily basis that sometimes it overcomes me. To have the knowledge that God loves me and KNOWS me almost overwhelms me. I have sought the acceptence of people in all the wrong ways in my life…and this book is teaching me that I no longer need to seek that acceptance..that God loves me. There is no other love like his. I struggle from day to day with family who does not understand my desire to get to know God on a personal level..they do not understand my desire to be in His Word…I am learning that I do not have to seek the approval of others..they cannot give me the unconditional love that God gives me on a daily basis.

  9. I never knew the word “know” actually had a definition. But when i read what it meant it opened my heart to what God has been doing. I always saught for anyone,someone to just know me,accept me,love me, amd forgive me. I even placed all those requirements on my husband. But to know that God knew me in the womb,before i made first wrong choice he loved me enough to spark a conversation and make all my wrongs right. To say I dont have to be perfect and he will keep an open relationship with me. Im grateful.

    • Maria – Thank you for your post. I to have feelings like yours. I am finally beginning to open my own eyes to the fact that I have been seeking the approval of people for years…the WRONG people. The person that I needed to be focused on was God..and He has always been there for me. God bless you!

  11. The story of the woman at the well has always been one of my favorites — perhaps because I so identified with her. One of my favorite historical fiction novels is “Journey to the Well: A Novel” by Diana Wallis Taylor. GREAT story!

    One of my first memories of God was from a backyard Bible study done at a neighbor’s house. What I got from the one day I attended was that my heart was black and God was austere and foreboding (hence the only one day’s attendance). LOL! Luckily He prevailed … oh where would I be if He didn’t pursue like He did?!

    I think it’s easy for us to think we’re the only ones … we’re prideful even in our shortcomings, aren’t we? I always go back to the Scripture, “there’s nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). If I’m feeling it, someone else has felt it before me.

    I’m so grateful that Jesus is willing to meet us at the most opportune places. And that we’re fully equipped to give Him what He asks for. That really struck me … that not only did He meet “Sam” in a spot where He would have her to Himself, but He only asked of her what she could give. A simple, life-changing request. A drink of water. This is *so* comforting and reassuring to me — the realization that I am *perfectly* equipped to give Him what He asks of me. If that little tidbit doesn’t chase away shadows of doubt, I don’t know what can! 🙂

    • Thank you, Denise! Your last paragraphs bring both a smile to my face and tears. Whew! Selah! God bless you richly!

  12. He knows my name , hears me when I call ….. Reminds me of that song . I know he loves me .

    It’s all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.” Joshua Ch 1

    He got me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Wow, Becky! Thank you so much for what you shared here. I laughed at your statement, “He got me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Praise God! God bless you richly!

  13. When reading that verse it makes me excited to know that I have such a loving God on my side, a God that has had plans for me all along. It excites me but also makes me nervous because I don’t want to disappoint Him!!

  14. I have really enjoyed reading Chapters 1 and 2. I had actually bought this book a while back with all intentions to do this book study, and I did not do it. So I am very thankful I am getting the oppurtunity to do it again. The words that you have written in the 2 chapters, seem to go hand in hand with the thoughts that I have. I struggle so much with feeling like I am not as good as others, and the feeling of self-worth. I know that Jesus loves me and does not want me to believe the lies that get into my head. It is my prayer that doing this study will help me to have a closer walk with my Lord, and that I can have the confidence that he wants me to have. Thank you for writing this book and taking the time to have this study.

  15. The video is amazing and having read both chapters and listening to the video I have been reopened and reborn again by it. I am a nurse of 38 yrs and being the middle child I had to go to church every day. I married a Catholic man who really taught me the significance of the Lord. He went through major issues and one of these was he was sent back by the Lord to take care of me. He had a broken back and had 7 back surgeries for staph- he had a vision and saw the white light and was sent back to take care of me. We had not even gotten married. I took care of him for 17 yrs as a married couple and lost him about 3 yrs ago. He had 3 major open heart surgeries for an aneurysm of the aorta and he had 3 strokes in between the surgeries only to be locked in — a veggie on life support. I knew his wishes and had to make a decision to let him go. I knew he did not want to live like that. I have lost him, my home, my house and my job because of financial issues and have had to have back surgery — the surgery was in Nov 2012– I have been reborn and have had my surgery and have a new life. I used to fall over 40 times and could not feel my feet. Being a nurse and pulling on patients hurt my L4-L5– come to find out they were pinching my sciatic nerve. I have praised the Lord ever since and I am well and walking now with no problems I have faith in the Lord and know he is with me and he comes to me by letting me know with the healing ability he has given to me through my hands. I pray and meditate every day and I am taking 2 on line bible study classes as I speak. I am enjoying the study Renee and have learned to trust in the Lord and know he is always with me and is carrying me as I go down the path to learning. I have been able to help people over the phone as well as person to person.
    I have been reborn and I have asked for forgiveness. I Know I have sinned and I hope he will accept me as I am which is more than my father used to do as I was growing up as a child. I always got blamed for things that I did not do and I was never smart like my sister who was a straight A student and I had to struggle. I became a nurse and I am glad I chose the path I did. I have been able to help people and I believe in giving rather than getting. Praise the Lord and when I lost my home I gave it all to a fund to help others out who had nothing. The video is above and beyond what I thought it would be and I am so glad to be in the class and have learned a great deal by reading the book so far. I am here if anyone wants to contact me or email me. I praise the Lord and if I can help any one let me know. Email [email protected].
    Thanks Renee for letting me be in the class. It is great.

    • He loves us and accepts us right where we are! Praising Him! And he loves us so much that He doesn’t want to leave us! He wants us as close to His heart as we can get!

      Love His unconditional love for us!

    • Thank you, Nancy, for sharing your heart with us! May you continue to grow up into Jesus in every way!

  16. I didn’t have a father growing up until my mother remarried when I was in 7th grade. I always longed for a father figure in my life. I always tried to be perfect because I feel that is what was expected of me growing up, nothing I did was ever good enough. Just within the last 4 years I’ve had those feelings that “I’m not worth staying for” especially in my recent relationship. I went to the point with him, telling him that he deserved better & actually picking out women who I thought he would be happier with, now that is absolutely ridiculious, if I would have just realized that even though I may not be enough for others in this world that I am truly enough in God’s eyes and that’s all that should matter. I was made in His likeness & image & I’ve been told that God doesn’t make junk, that is so true. I have been isolating myself lately because of my feelings toward myself because it’s hurting others to hear me say hurtful things about myself. Unfortunately I don’t try to keep it hidden & a lot of times I wish I would. I’ve always felt that if I was just this way, or dressed this way, or acted this way, that whoever it was would love me & stay. But I shouldn’t have to change myself to please others, I only need to change for me & become & realize the beautiful woman that God truly made me to be. I can relate to the sentence “When we come home to an empty house and wonder why we don’t have a family”. My daughter recently moved out in January & now I’m left with the empty nest syndrome. I used to be known as Mom, I’m still Mom but she doesn’t need me as much anymore, which is very hard to accept. She has a wonderful young man in her life now & treats her the way she deserves to be treated & I’m very blessed & proud to have her as my daughter, she is absolutely beautiful, not just in my eyes, but God’s eyes as well.
    Even though God knows my heart & my desires for my life, I still need to take the time to sit down & talk to Him about everything, that’s what developing my relationship with Him is all about, talking with Him daily, reading from His word daily. I want to have the thirst of my soul quenched/satisfied. I feel like “Sam” in Chapter two (2) a lot of times. If Jesus asked me to go call my husband, I would have the same response, “I have no husband” and was with a man who wouldn’t commit. How difficult that is for me to say & accept. I too feel abandoned & rejected & alone many times. I know I will not feel this way anymore when I truly develop the relationship that I need to have with God. He will never leave nor forsake me ever 🙂

    • Julie…I too longed for a father. My father abandoned me at a young age…my parents were 16&17 when I was born. For 38 years I fought feelings of rejection, abandonment, broken trust, unworthy, unloved, need to please. Only last year did I decide to surrender to the Lord to meet my needs…I dug deep to heal past hurts…surrounded myself w/ safe loving authentic friends…used resources suggested by my Christian therapist…surrendered & embraced the love my husband ha always genuinely showed I just didn’t trust it…it wouldn’t last he would leave.

      You made a comment about ‘shouldn’t have to change to please others…and letting your hurt show when you feel you should hide it’. Our society has trouble embracing ‘brokenness’…it’s not that you’re weak…it’s not that you’re imperfect…you are exactly as He designed you to be made in His image. It took me 38 years to find ‘safe authentic genuine friends’ to lift me up, fill my emotional tank, encourage me to remember I am His child and how much He loves me. We text, call, email, chat over running…everything is on the table…if I am feeling anxious over work…I text them for prayers & why…they immediately text back. It relaxes your heart & soul to surround yourself w/ these select loved friends. I have 3 safe friends I regularly confide & plus my husband. 13 years of marriage I am authentic w/ my husband now!

      God is the mighty counselor & healer…I thought I was a mistake & not worthy enough for my father to stay in my life. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart one time in deep prayer & worship & reminded me ‘He was rejected too…and He has had me in His arms my whole life’.

      Lord I ask You to send the Holy Spirit to Julie to lean in close and whisper in her heart who she belongs to. Help her to have confidence that she is perfect as Your beloved child. Let her have a spiritual heart to recognize the safe friends that will embrace her and all her brokenness…the friends that You have already picked out for her and we are confident You will send. Let her heart recognize that Your love is enough…Your grace is sufficient…that You are the only one who can fill her ‘well’. Let her feel Your loving arms. In His sweet name I pray. Amen!

  17. I really thought I have been a pretty confident person but after reading chapters 1 and 2, I am finding that I am good at pretending and not letting people see who I am or how I really feel. What I am realizing that I do not even let God in or feel He can help. I acknowledge that God is helping everyone around me but I don’t realize all the wonderful things He does for me or can do for me if I would rely on Him. I need to get real with God, myself, and eventually other people about where I am and how I got there. I need to stop pretending everything is alright. I especially liked the the part about looking for places in my heart that need to be repaired. I am looking forward to the repair process and the healing. I am glad I decided to do the study.

  18. I always feel like I am disappointing God. It seems like I mess up a LOT. And because of that I feel as though He is always angry at me. I am not sure where this view of God came from for me, because I was loved very much growing up. I was disciplined by my father, but nothing harsh. I am confused as to where I got this view of God from 🙁 .

    • None of us are a surprise to God! I believe our actions can and do grieve the Holy Spirit, however, once convicted, we repent and ask forgiveness. At that moment we are forgiven and continue to be loved. None of us are perfect and God isn’t looking for perfection, He’s looking for willingness.That can be tough thing to wrap our heads around, but little by slow I am learning to receive it!

      Psalm 139 says

      O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. (No surprise)!

      Learning to lean on God and receive all that He has for me is a daily process. Receiving His love is also a process, but what I am learning is that the more I recognize the areas in my life that need work He heals me and helps me along as long as I diligently seek Him out. I am pruned daily of behaviors, words, and actions. God’s grace is sufficient and ever present.

    • To Murphygirl, we all miss the mark, daily, remember God loves us no matter what, all we have to do is repent, and stay in touch with Him. Prayer is powerful….

      Prov 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding: In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths….

  19. LOVE LOVE LOVE the video! WOW! Just starting in on Chapter 2 so no comments on it just yet. The verse of the week has just become my phone’s screensaver! Now there’s a way to see it over and over again!! Time to get offline and spend some time with my precious husband, then do a little bedtime reading.