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We’re going to read chapter 1 and 2 this week, so today I wanted to lead those of you who are ready to go with me to the next chapter.
From Chapter 2, A Confident Heart
“Jesus knew Sam’s (the Samaritan woman’s) story and He knows yours. The Greek word for “know” is yada. It means a deep emotional experience; a bonding between two people when one truly feels the emotions of the other. Jesus knows your pain, fears, doubts, and disappointments. He understands your dreams and desires.
Although some of us feel uncomfortable that God knows so much about us, it is good to be known, to be listened to and not judged. Jesus is the only One who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are. We can offer nothing but our presence, and He will desire us just the same…”
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Our word this week is “Known”
Our verse of the week is Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (NIV)
This week’s video message is below. Please click the arrow to watch it – all the way through. You’ll be so glad you did.
(from video script)
I WANT TO BE KNOWN
I want someone to look at my face
And not just see two eyes, a nose,
a mouth and two ears
But to see all that I am, and could be
all my hopes, loves and fears…
And YOU know me
You actually know me
all of me and everything about me
Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread
My past and my future, all I am and could be
You tell me everything,
You tell me about ME
And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation
Coming from Youu brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation
I’ve heard of One to come
who could save a wretch like me
And here in my presence, You say
I AM HE…
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Today’s Assignment:
- Download Free Printable PDF of this week’s word and verse — or find it here in a Word doc format. Please print it and post it everywhere so you can remember God KNOWs YOU and He loves you!!
- Read this week’s memory verse (Jeremiah 1:5). Ask God to remind you all week that He knows the way you long to be known, pursued and loved!
- Start or continue reading chapter 2. If you already did or you are just starting, read it slowly and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart. Journal your thoughts if you want the lessons to stay with you.
Connect in Community:
What about today’s video or sentences in Chapter 2 resonate most with you?
- Please click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post and do just that. (REMEMER: If you are reading this via email, you will need to click here to go to my blog to watch the video and share in the comments section.)
- Optional: If you are on Facebook and/or Twitter, I’d love for you to share your favorite quotes on our Confident Heart Community Facebook Page and/or share them with me on Twitter (@reneesswope) I’d love to retweet them! Also let’s use #AConfidentHeart as our hashtag. 🙂
I personally think we all have a little Sam in us. As I was going through chapter 2 page 36 the way she describes how Jesus make her feel, was as if I was there. He spoke she heard gentleness in his voice. There was kindness and humility in his simple request for a drink. My favorite one when she looked into his eyes she saw acceptance, not judgement; love, not hate. Knowing that God loves me, and by judging me is awesome. Knowing that he carries me, why I have doubts, and sin by letting go of his hand while he continues to hold mind’s awesome. I’m m so grateful that God loves me for me. Building confidence one day at a time.
I related to almost every word that was in this chapter. I really struggle with seeking the approval of the wrong person and not seeking God’s approval first. More importantly it helped me so much to read the childhood perception of God because I am 39 years old and I just figured out and understand that God does not punish his children so if you do something that he doesn’t like or doesn’t approve of it doesn’t mean that he is going to do something mean and hateful to you because he is not that kind of God. Here is my story, I am the mother of two boys and I had an urging to get them into churh so a friend invited us to a kids event in November 2011 and I started to attend church with my boys and work in the childcare room and by January of 2012 I got baptized and did a sort of next step program where a very wise woman explained all the ins and outs of daily time with God, praying, serving, and so on. We became very good friends as she had to remind me A LOT that God loves me no matter what. In April 2012 my house was overrun with black mold and we had to go live with my mom the church steeped up and raised money so that I could have a new home for the boys and me this was quite a process it took until Oct 2012 before we moved in and in that time my mom who is not a church goer and believes that anything but the King James Version is a lie and she doesn’t have to go to church to worship God, she called me lots of names and was very hateful and it broke my heart and through it all God was there in every way and even through all that I felt like I didn’t deserve all that he was giving me or that if I didn’t go to church or do everything just right he would be mad and I honestly feel ike one day is gonna say man she just doesn’t get it and I am tired of saying the same thing over and over so I am so happy to do this and learn about God and how i can overcome my doubt and insecurities through his word and get to believe that God loves me and he will say it 1000 times a 1000 ways. Thanks you so much for this, I am so excited.
wow powerful stuff the video and ch 2 do I really get it? Do I really understand and comprehend His love and forgiveness and if I do then why not run like Sam did and share what I know… Lord help me to feel love, forgiveness and let me feel known Amen
While reading Sam’s story in chapter two, the ellipses after Jesus’ comments gave me pause. It made me pause to reflect on His words, “Will you give me a drink?” Cold it be that our acceptance of Jesus refreshes Him as well as us?
Sam’s willingness to open her heart with just enough compassion to provide a drink of water to a stranger was life changing for her, and little to her knowledge, was life changing for thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands after her.
Many concepts resonated w/ me in this chapter. One I keep going back to is ‘have you let the gospel of God’s grace move from your head to your heart, so that you know without a doubt you are known intimately deeply loved by God?’
I feel the ‘moving from head to heart’ will be a daily process…maybe minute by minute at times. The closer I become to Jesus, the deeper entrenched I will be in His great love for me…the enemy will try to creep in the weakness…or in the strength attack making me doubt. I have too many resources accessible to me to remind me Who I belong to and the truths I need to engrave on my heart. I use ‘safe friends’, my Bible for Hope…love it…many daily/weekly devotionals, podcasts, church, prayer, sitting at foot of cross, books, setting reminders on my iphone w/ truths or scripture throughout the day, notes on my fridge when I stand at the sink, worship music. Ladies…I am open for more ideas on how to remind myself of His love during day!
I will not let the enemy win…for 38 years I let the enemy have most of my heart…God had my life in His hands…He was just waiting for me to surrender…and I am so ‘in love’ w/ Him it’s overwhelming at times…crazy for Him.
God’s love is perfect therefore I don’t have to be! I have realized through this chapter that although I am not perfect, this doesn’t mean that I’m a failure. That is how I’ve felt for years. If I wasn’t the best mother or Pastors wife or the perfect anything then I was a failure. Maybe some in the world see me as a failure but I’m so thankful that God doesn’t!
My life on this earth is filled with struggles of many kinds and some days I go into the pit and can’t see the light. However, God always sends someone with a kind word, or speaks to me through His word and pulls me out to take on another day!
I love my God and look forward to truly believing Him and His promises!!!
Thank you Renee for this study and I’m praying that God will continue to bless you spiritually beyond measure.
“yada” a deep emotional experience; a bonding between two people when one truly feels the emotions of the other. I desire that closeness with God.
I reaally want to join in on this bible study but do not have any extra funds to buy the book right now. Is there anyone who could help me out to get a book? I would truly appreciate it.
My email is [email protected]
Thanks and God Bless, your sister in Christ
Billie
Billie, has anyone responded? If not, I will help you out. I am having a hard time keeping up with responses to my reuse on here. Before me at [email protected]
Reuse?? Silly auto correct..that should have said “replies”
Gosh…that “before” should say, “email” me….I just noticed that you left your email address. I will just write you! lol
sigh…I posted the wrong email address as well. Autocorrect is not my friend tonight. It is [email protected]
I emailed you already, but just in case you don’t see it there…this is my ACTUAL email address. lol
I am that person who when asked how it is going, my reply is always “Fine.” This hit home for me because I have a husband who is an alcoholic and have been through a lot. People and friends tell me they do not know how I do it. I was told once I was like a “Superwoman”. So I felt I had to live up to that image of what everyone had have me. I felt I could not let them down, otherwise; it would destroy my “martyr” image. Then it lead to “hiding and isolation”. I stopped going to church events or other events and then eventually retreated into my own shell, like a turtle. I stopped praying as much and began watching T.V. and/or playing games in order not feel or think.
When I read Frazzled, Irritated, Neurotic, Exhausted (acronym for Fine), I thought how true this is! That was exactly how I felt and still feel that way at times.
Then there was, “it’s easy to approach God like a magic genie, hoping He’ll grant our wishes.” Man how true that is!! I would approach God like that. Just let me rub the magic lamp for the genie to come out to fix everything and how I think it should be fixed. I am so thankful God is so forgiving and full of mercy.
The most amazing part is when I read, “He did leave Himself as a love letter nailed to the cross of Calvary, declaring the depth of His perfect love.” What an amazing way of God showing His unconditional love for me!!! I do not deserve it, yet; He still loves me!!!
Renee, I am so thankful you were obedient to God’s will and wrote this book. He knew how many women would be effected through your ministry. I am so excited to go “beyond knowing about God to knowing and relying on Him!”
Hello everyone
When I read a confident heart, I really feel like this book is speaking to my heart. yet once in a while, I would have that doubt that change is not possible but I am holding firm to the Bible verses that were given and the ones I have collected for myself to encourage me. Thank you Renee and everyone involved for this book and the sacrifices that were made to make this happen.
I also wanted to share something that I heard on TV. This is from another author and i do not remember her name. She said that one of the things that she did to heal her was to picture Jesus, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit around her affirming who she is with scripture of course. She did this a few times a day and for about 5 minutes each time. I have tried it, not as often but it does help to visually imagine the God heads assuring you that He KNOWS you.
God Bless everyone.
I think this was a retelling of the woman at the well. It was powerful! I loved these phrases: “You tell me about Me.” “To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.” It is awesome that God knows everything about us. We can go to him, and He already knows what it is we are going to talk about. Noone else in our life has this ability, and noone else in our life cares as much as He does! What a great and loving God we have 🙂
The phrase “Maybe you are like me; you have believed in Him for years – but you haven’t really believed him completely. At least you don’t always feel like His promises are true for you…….” That paragraph really hit me between the eyes. I lead small groups, work in ministry, yet struggle with perfectionism. I tell others they don’t have to be perfect and about the love of God… BUT, I don’t always apply it to my life. I don’t let down around people, I test their reaction with small things, to see if they are interested, but… then back off if I THINK they don’t really want to know. But to be reminded that God knows and God cares and that it DOES relate to me. It’s something I need to continue to let sink in… in a refreshed and new way. This was a good chapter for me and I look forward to what the next ones will be. Thank you!
I really need this book. I have been dealing with this issue my whole life. My entire thought process about myself is constantly negative. I am really dealing with this issue right now. I am a landman.Basically I research mineral interest in property for oil companies. I have a broker who looks for jobs for us. Today we were told the company we are working for is letting us go. I cannot help but wonder what I could have done to have kept my job. I feel as if the loss of this job is because I have done a bad job in some way. One of the landmen for the company we are working for emailed me today. We were already in contact with one another about some issues with a file I have been working on. He complimented me and told me I would make a good landman in the future because I was diligent. But it really doesn’t comfort me to know that he thinks these things. I often pray that God give me his eyes so I can see what he sees. Because I feel my problem might be solved with seeing what he sees in me because obviously my vision is messed up.
Kelly,
I know what you are talking about. I used to be my worst critic, I probably still am but God and I are working on it. My husband and I were just talking about this today. Whenever someone compliments me, or tells me I am doing something well, or even thank you. I follow up their comment with a “yeah, but….” I feel/felt like I don’t deserve their compliment, or they wouldn’t say that if they knew this or that, or don’t thank me yet I might still screw it up. I realized that God was trying to open my eyes to my self rejection. I reject others because I have been rejecting myself. God loves me, and He loves you. I pray that God will show us how He sees us, and will help us believe Him.
Trying to refuse to follow up compliments and love with a “yeah, but…”.
This chapter was really a revelation for me. I’ve always felt like my quiet time with God was for me to get to know God better, and for Him to share with me His desire for my life – for the way my day should go.
I’ve never thought about God knowing me. I mean, I know the verses that say He knows me, but I never thought about it on such a level as my desires, hopes, dreams.
Maybe I also saw it as God rewarding me. When I was good, I received one of those dreams that I had prayed for, but when I failed I felt God would leave me until I fixed myself.
Now I know that isn’t true. The next step is getting it from my head to my heart.
I hear you! I never thought about that either. Just like the idea of being pursued. I also thought like you that I was rewarded when I was good, but left on my own or even punished when I messed up.
My head knows the right thing but getting my heart to believe it and accept it is tough.
After answering the questions in Chapter 1, I realized that I am a confident woman whose greatest fear is making Jesus “LORD of my life. I want to, but ….. I know this will involve “taking up my cross”. This could involve going through trials and tribulations. I know God is always with me and will not “put more on me than I can bear”. My fear is that I will fail God, and not have enough faith to get me through.
Rose, do not fear failing God. Because we have nothing of ourselves to offer Him, we therefore have no expectations on His end that we must fulfill. It is all, everything, Christ alone. Christ in me, Christ through me to others. Many times people give cliches that trials or tribulations come only to test us. This is not true. Sometimes He allows things to come against us to show Himself courageous and Mighty on our behalf. Sometimes it has nothing to do with ourselves, and absolutely everything to do with Him. At least in my own personal life, there have been times I went through some really difficult trials. Ones where I felt so alone that even if I had one or two to walk alongside me, truth be told it was my path alone to walk with my own feet, therefore yes of course i “felt” alone doing so… but in those moments during those specific times God showed Himself faithful to me in ways no human ever could. He was “present” in a deeper level of comfort, of guidance, of wisdom, than I’d ever been able to know otherwise. Not because I showed myself faithful to Him, because i can’t. I never could. I always needed Jesus, I still need Jesus! I DO fail Him every day. that’s WHY I need the sacrifice of the cross every day, to cover my humanity. No matter if I try in great faith and fail MY expectations, or if I don’t try at all… either way, I still need the covering of the cross. Trying or not, I am not and will never be enough on my own. What freedom to know that God knows this and loves and accepts me anyway!!
If you think of the Israelites rescued from Egypt and brought to the wilderness… what was the purpose of the wilderness? I believe God God rescued them to get them out of Egypt, but the wilderness was to get Egypt out of THEM! The Wilderness, though scary and unfamiliar and requiring complete trust in Him wasn’t easy, but it was neccessary for them to come to know this great God again. He showed Himself faithful in providing a pillar of cloud by day (to cover from the heat of the desert) and a pillar of fire by night (to give warmth and light). They were given food everyday, and water that followed THEM, and in those 40 years their clothing never wore out. Not one sandal strap broke! Think of all of that. God so desperately desired to show them His heart, His tender care for them. That He was and is MORE than large showy miracles on their behalf. He is IN the small everyday miracles too. 400 years they had been entrapped in a slavery and didn’t know Him. He wanted them to know His heart again. And could they bring any of this to pass? No, only God could. It’s His doing and our willingness to follow Him there. So don’t fear your crosses. They are meant to show a side of Himself that you would not have the honor of seeing or knowing in any other way. It isn’t always about our failures, many times it’s about His great love. He wants you to see those depths. To know those comforts. To know intimacy.
Amen to all of that!!!
I wish there was a like button here. Thank you, for your words.
Thank you for reminding me that “we have nothing of ourselves to offer Him. I know IT IS ALL JESUS. In chapter 2 Renee says, “The only way we’ll have a confident heart is if we move beyond knowing about God to KNOWING and relying on Him – to depend on His Word with our whole heart, mind, and soul …….” I do not want to be like the rich young ruler who was not willing to give up everything and have eternal life. (Mark 10:17-22) I am saved, but I have not given up everything Jesus told the rich man to. I believe we do have something to offer God, that is to put God above everyone and everything we love. Just like Job did. The trials he faced were not from God, but Satan. Job endured to the end. My fear is that I won’t be able to “endure” like Job did.
I believe this is God’s perfect will for all who have been saved. I believe we do have something we can offer Him – ourselves “completely”. Jesus expected this from the rich man and from His disciples. Why shouldn’t he expect it from us, too?
Rose Ann
“…but we are worth His love because He chose to give it to us.” I loved this in Ch. 2.
The thought of God knowing everything about me is comforting but it is also shameful for me. To think that He knows EVERYTHING I have ever thought, done, said etc makes me want to crawl under a rock. I try to hide it all away but He knows. I am ashamed and I can’t seem to get past my past. I don’t know why I hold onto it. It only makes me doubt.
Today, Lord, I am releasing my past to You. I give it to You. I give You all the ugly. I give You all the sin, all my pain, my doubt and my shame. Please fill the voids in my heart. Help me to accept Your perfect love and grace. I know that I am not worthy but You want me anyway. So, I come to You, flaws and all. Fill me with Your love and mercy. Help me to stop doubting Your love and forgiveness. Help me to accept that perfection is unattainabIe. Help me see that nothing I can do will earn or take away Your love. You won’t turn Your back on me. Help me to give up on trying to to win You over. My deeds are nothing. All You want is all of me. Here I am Lord.
“For to be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known”. I am relaxing in this thought today.
Amen!
Good for your Sarah!
Amen! Thank you so much for sharing this, Sarah! God bless you richly!
I just love reading about this but feel like as a new Christian
( less than 5 yrs), I need a constant reminder as I go back to my habitual ways of thinking. Self absorbed, pathetic and hopeless at times. Alot of times I am joyful and try to glorify Him as I know He is the reason. But when I am so exhausted and lonely, i get caught up in those emotions and forget Who’s I am. I am hoping this study helps me. Thanks Renee!
I remember growing up and the misconception I had of my Heavenly Father. I was certain I could never keep all of the “rules” that were laid out by my church. I often viewed God as a harsh taskmaster whom I could never please, let alone have a deep personal relationship with. Therefore, I was destined to end up rejected by Him, because of my many failures. UNTIL….He revealed to my heart that I was not a step-daughter, but a daughter. I was not a slave that worked for Him, but I was a joint-heir to all He had. I no longer had to use the rear entrance into His house, but my “daughter-ship” (is that even a word?..LOL) gave me rights to walk in through the front door! I am glad He KNOWS me!!
Sorry…two other thoughts. It is AMAZING how God will speak to you with your own words. Last week in Sunday School I said “As Christians, we are supposed to be different and some people just can’t handle it.”. Hello!
This week, a co-worker was confiding in me because her long term boyfriend left over something stupid. She is still so heartbroken. One of the things I said to her (thank you God!) was “Boys leave, men stay.”. What an eye opener!
While I still have periods of doubt, especially when I am alone, God is healing me. I had read”A Confident Heart” a few months ago, but this bible study is needed more because I need healing through HIM. Thank you Renee for not only writing this book, but leading this study to help us HEAL.
The video…WOW! To have her to say, ” to be loved is to be known.” hits hard and home.
One day not too long ago, I was crying to my best friend because of my breakup with my boyfriend and one of the things I said to her was, “I feel like the Samaritian woman at the well”. One thing she pointed out to me was “Sam” left her water pot at the well, she didn’t pick her burdens back up and carry them back with her. Leave that old mess behind, she says! Simple? Well, sometimes.
I love how we are using the arts to reach others with such powerful words. I shared this video on FB for others as well. To be loved and known so deeply is what we all really desire. Unfortunately we look for it in the wrong places and with the wrong people(myself included!). How wonderful would it be to look to God to fill this need and be filled by Him?! That is what I am working on at this point in my life and feel I need most at this time in my life. I was married for 25 yrs, have 4 beautiful children and just ended a battle of a divorce that took 7yrs. I have been questioning so much and looking for acceptance in all the wrong places and ending up hurt every time. I love the fact that God knows me, my faults, my sins, my heart and He still loves me and is so patient with me as I grow and learn. Even if it seems I am growing and learning very slowly! lol It is comforting and freeing that I don’t have to pretend to be perfect or someone I’m not to please Him or for Him to love me, And I love that!!! Thank you for doing this study. I do feel God lead me to this to help me understand Him more!
I too shared on FB!
wow! I need to reread chapter 2. That hit way to close to home for me. An amazing chapter filled with words that I needed to hear. It stung, but it needed to. I needed to be reminded of so many things. One of the many lies I, and many others, have grown to believe is “…we find ourselves in the shadows of doubt, convinced that we aren’t worth knowing or pursuing.” In the margin I wrote in big letters “I AM WORTH KNOWING, I JUST HAVE TO LET PEOPLE IN” This is huge for me. Before beginning this study I believed with my whole heart that I was not worth knowing. This is so false! I am worth knowing. We are ALL WORTH KNOWING!
– “He is there waiting for us in the midst of our imperfect lives, when our pain and failures confirm self doubts”. In the margins I wrote that although our lives may seem on the outside imperfect, they are perfect in God’s eyes because this is HOW HE DESTINED IT. HE is the one that knows our mind, knows our soul, knows our heart, and loves us the same. If HE can love us the same after knowing all that He does, we better believe we are worth knowing!
The major point I pulled out, which ties to the above is that to be known is to be loved. If I ever want to experience the love from people I deserve, I have to let them in. If I let them in, I have to be willing to share my life with them. If I ever expect others to love me for me, I have to let them in and see me for me. I can’t hide behind the doubts, behind the what ifs and behind my imperfections.
I honestly wanted to underline everything in this chapter! Great words!!
I felt like I should underline the whole chapter too!
In one of my counseling classes, the teacher gave this metaphor of picturing our lives as an auditorium in which we were standing in the center on a stage. She then proposed the question: “Who is in the audience? Who are you performing for?” The correct answer should ONLY be JESUS, but it rarely is, is it??
Ever since then, my sister and I always rebuke each other with the phrase, “Audience of One!” when we hear the other one getting worked up over how others are perceiving us 🙂
I love that metaphor! Thank you for sharing!! 🙂
You are so welcome! My sister’s name is Erica so I often say, “Audience of One, Erica!” 😉
That’s awesome! I told my husband the metaphor and he loves it too. Like another poster said, we are going to be implementing it into our family as well.
I love this! It’s so hard to explain to your kids that pleasing others is not necessary. Going to implement this in our family!
Gosh I needed that metaphor too!!!
My husband has been struggling with a difficult decision. The reason it was difficult it because he was worried about what others, our friends, would think. I asked him, “Who are you doing this for Jesus, or others?” He knew right then the answer to his delimma. I like your metaphor too!
I was reading the story of “Sam” and noticed some things that I hadn’t noticed before. First of all, Jesus sent the disciples away before He addressed her. I immediately thought about all of the noise in my life that attempts to keep me from getting still and quiet before Him. It was necessary that all of that be gone before He could talk to her.
Sam says essentially to Him, “Please give me this Living Water so that I can stop coming back to this place over and over again! I am tired”- that resonates deeply with my cry out to Him as well. I am so tired of thinking that I have been delivered from myself only to find myself in the same place again and again.
Then, Jesus immediately pointed out the thing that she probably most wished that He would not; her deepest source of shame and pain. She quickly became legalistic and pointed to specifics having to do with worship and even kind of tried to put blame on the Jews for her situation…almost insinuating that because she couldn’t worship that maybe that’s why her life is in such shambles. I think about how people are so angry with the church and other Christians and so often use that as an excuse for why they aren’t growing in their faith or being a part of the Body of Christ. I think about all of the petty arguments and debates over doctrine…all of this serves to separate rather than unify.
Jesus then responds by basically telling her that the real issue of worship was inward and spiritual and had nothing to do with outward rituals of any kind and that she wasn’t understanding.
He didn’t tell her this without providing hope though. He included her in the future description of TRUE worship that was internal and spiritual. He left her with a promise of who HE was and a picture of deliverance!
I wish I had time to read through every comment on this thread. I just don’t, In fact, I am finding it difficult right now to find the time to even read the chapters and still haven’t read chapter 2 yet.
I started reading the comments, though, and was struck by the conversation about salvation assurance. I too struggle SO much with that. I don’t feel close to God and don’t feel as though I have anything to offer him. I struggle with depression and an autoimmune disease and self hatred and a whole list of other things that I hate that are in my life. Last night I watched a dvd of a James macDonald series and it was on sin and repentance and he asked what was in our lives that we just hate the fact that it is there…then he said once we identify it, to ask God to help us rid our lives of that. I was so overwhelmed with my list of things that I feel that I am too far gone for even God. Yet, I love Jesus and want to do what he wants me to do. This is such a difficult place to be in and I was at least reassured that I am not the only one who feels this way.
No, you are not the only one who feels this way! I have struggled for decades, knowing I am saved, but doubting I am really valuable. My family has had some struggles this past year that have in a providential way pushed me further into the arms of Jesus. And it has been a work of God, and an act of obedience, but I am learning to allow God to really touch my heart, and to heal some old hurts that still have an invisible hold on me. Thank you for sharing “my thoughts” on your post.
I just jumped into this study this week so my book hasn’t arrived yet. I can’t wait to read chapter 2. The video is wonderful.
Thank you everyone for being so vulnerable and open because it gives me permission to be the same. And I so need that. I’ve followed Christ for 40 years now and He has never failed me. However, here I am a grandmother and I still struggle daily with doubts and insecurities. I know God’s word can be depended upon, but can I really hope to gain victory over condemnation, insecurity and a general feeling that I can’t be good enough, once and for all??!!
Thank you Renee (and everyone) for this opportunity to join with you in prayer and growth!
The sentences that effected me are following:
An outcast a failure a disappointment, a sinner.
You whisper and tell me to my face what all those glances have been about
Coming from you brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation
These are taken from separate parts of the poem, but when combined I feel like they tell my story. I was thinking about the humiliation I felt when I was publicly embarrassed and criticized when I was in junior high by my best friends father. He did not do it himself, he encouraged someone else to do it. I have carried around a feeling of shame for years. I am now 33, but as an adult I realize it was not even a big deal. I felt like I was being told I was not good enough to be his daughter’s friend. I think that was my first rejection. We tried to remain friends, but I did not trust her family anymore. I felt like her father was upset when he saw me in his home. I have been shown that it was not me, but her father’s insecurities and fear that caused him to sabotage our friendship. But he is just a person, he is not God. His opinion of me does not cause it to be true. No person’s opinion of me is as important as what God says of me. For many years I have believed I am not “good enough”, I don’t “deserve” compliments, I even insult and degrade myself. I now listen to Jesus, and what He says about me. Like this poem, even when I did/do sin, the conviction from Him is not condemning, but is full of love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation.
Oh, that’s good…it reminds me of a line in “Hinds’ Feet on High Places”:
“Love is beautiful but it is also terrible- terrible in its determination to allow nothing blemished or unworthy to remain in the beloved” “When she remembered this, Much-Afraid thought with a little shiver in her heart, ‘He will never be content until He makes me what He is determined I ought to be,’ and because she was still Much-Afraid and not yet ready to change her name, she added with a pang of fear, ‘I wonder what He plans to do next, and if it will hurt very much indeed?'”
In reading chapter 2 I’m reminded of something one of my daughter’s professors at college said, ‘He loves me just the way I am, but too much to leave me that way’. I repeat that to myself often.
I’m doing my chapter 2 questions, and on number 5, I’m really struggling. I am nobody special. I don’t help me community, I don’t volunteer, I just work and take care of my family. I don’t have any special talents that I can use to help people. I’m just me. So why would Jesus care so much about me? I am mostly content to stay invisible. Well, maybe not, since I’m here and doing this study! But if I never do anything good, why does Jesus want to pay attention to me? Why would he waste his time like that? There are billions of other good people, innocent people, children, all over that really deserve his time more than I do! I know I am not saved by anything that I have done or will do. I just don’t get why I’m so important.
Oh, and I’m not sure that I want to be known that fully.
He knew your worth before you were ever born, you are the only person who can be you. You are the only one who can care for your family. You have talents and abilities that you are not seeing, ask Jesus to reveal them to show them to you to help you not only recognize what the are but to help you build upon them, explore them and to trust him to apply them where he wants. Keep studying Gods word and ask God to show you through his word, why you are so important to him, and why HE DOES LOVE YOU!!
Be blessed!
Kristina the above response is for you!
I am confident that He who began a good work in me will see it through the return of Jesus!! (My paraphrasing ) this is hard to grab hold of because I have failed so many times! Today I choose to believe that Gods Word is truth and life to me, meaning that his word IS for me, not just for those around me that never fail, but for me, that God who knew me before I ever acknowledge him, and knew the paths I would take the decision I would make the pain I would cause the ugliness of my lifer, HE found me worthy enough to give his all for me, HE still chose to die for me, I am worthy of saving, of love, of a hope fulfilled life, because He declared me WORTHY, before I ever was……….
I can’t tell you all how heart-warming your thoughts towards this study are. Reading through some of your individual comments, I can see that each of us have our own individual insecurities that we are battling with. And I for one am beginning to feel completely ‘not alone’ in this area of my life. In reviewing Chapter 2, I was quick to remember my 1st impressions of God (a large, towering, fearful, powerful being) compared to my current view (a gentle, loving, graceful God who longs for this personal connection with us.) In answering the final chapter-end question, my response: Hiding ourselves and our true feelings from God = useless. He knows our innermost thoughts and feelings. Be honest with Him. He will always love us, no matter what.
Same story here, and there is a measure in comfort just in knowing that this response is one shared by others with similar stories and not just bad wiring, huh??
*of comfort… (had to correct, because God forbid I make a mistake! LOL)
Renee,
I can’t tell you how much this chapter touched my heart. My dad also left when I was young and I felt the same way that you did- that there had to be something wrong with me that he could leave me. Not only did his leaving effect my relationships with people, but also my relationship with God. Although I was saved at a young age, I began to think that if my earthy father could leave then so could my heavenly one. Thus began many years of trying to earn love from both people and God. I hid behind a facade of the good girl who secretly felt that she would never measure up, would never really be loved, and that everyone leaves eventually. It was a long journey through that place. It was only when I really began to learn more about God and deepen my relationship with Him, that all of that changed. Don’t get me wrong…I wasn’t cured of it LOL. Every once in awhile that little girl pops her head out, but it is easier to love on her today.
I don’t usually journal. I used to when I was in high school but my parents read it and since then I have not trusted that what I write would be for my eyes (and God’s) only. So I bought a journal and have been using it for this study. I have been writing verse, thoughts, and points that have stood out to me from each chapter in black and my own personal thoughts and feelings in pink. After Chapter one, I wrote (in pink) that I had messed up. I wrote that I am trying not to beat myself up for messing up but it’s so hard. Then I read chapter two and it hit home right away. Here are some of the many quotes I wrote down…
“‘You’re not worth staying for’ was a lie, but it became the truth through which I filtered my worth in all of my relationships.”
****This is a big one for me. People have left my life so many times without any explanation at all. Thankfully my parents were not the case. But when I was 15 a big sister figure left. When I was 21 my ex-boyfriend left out of the blue without explanation (until a year later when I found out her had gotten a girl pregnant, while we were dating, with twins). And then again when I was 22, my best friend who had been there through the whole ex-boyfriend situation, did the same thing and disappeared without any explanation. This quote pretty much it the nail on the head.****
“Maybe you know God loves you and forgives you, but you still beat yourself up for mistakes you’ve made and the ways you think you’ve let Him and others down.”
“We are worthy of His love because he CHOSE to give it to us.”
Knowing that He chose me makes all the difference. It’s hard for me to believe that someone would chose to spend time with me and know me but knowing that He does….it means so much.
I am so thankful for this group ~ the sharing, replies, uplifting responses and encouragement are awesome!
I am thankful to be here!
“Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10 is helping me through my severe anxieties, fears, worries and doubts.
“Be still and know that I am God” ~ pretty much says it all right there!
Wow…that truly hit home. I needed the reassurance that God is with me and loves me because He knows me and He knows me therefore He loves me. I am somebody to HIM. Thanks God!
PLEASE pray for me & my debilitating social anxiety & anxiety in general, it limits me so & i HOPE i would be abe to do more for the Lord if i could get this under control, how can you help any one if you’re afraid to be around people! i take meds, but you can only take so much, thanks in advance for all your prayers, am praying for all the ladies on here, that their lives too would change for the better for them. i miss out on so much of life because of this.
up until a couple of years ago, I couldn’t even leave my house some days. When my husband joined the military and I had to move across country, you can imagine the terror that I felt. The moving wasn’t the hardest part though; it was that I was going to have to socialize with people that I had never met before. I was scared to socialize with people that I had known my whole life at this point, so new people was not an option!!!!! I got on medication and it actually made it worse because I had an adverse reaction to it and at one point I was standing in Target and forgot who I was or where I was…shudder. I began taking Klonopin alone after that point and got off of everything else until I could touch base with reality and figure out a new plan. During that year, I THREW myself into prayer and was able to join a small group. The Klonopin did help me do this. I had never been a part of a small group before, and it completely changed my life being a part of a group of women seeking the Lord. When it was time to get off of the medication (I wanted to begin trying to get pregnant), I asked the group of women to pray with me throughout that scary process, and I had such peace during that time…I can honestly look back at that scary time and remember such sweetness from my heavenly Father carrying me with the aid of those ladies. Anyway, it has been a few years and the other day we had SEVERAL people over to our house for a get together and after they left, it just hit me….I told my husband that it has been such a slow process, that I hadn’t even realized that at some point I had stopped being afraid of people! I had just had about 30 people at my house and I actually enjoyed myself! It is an absolute miracle. You need to hear me and believe me when I tell you that God can and WILL do the same thing for you! Even if it takes a season and it feels like it’s never going to happen, TRUST HIM!!!!
that is so good to hear, but at this point, it looks like just a dream for me, you keep going girl! i want to thank whoever prayed for me this morning for my anxieties, i really could feel the prayer, thanks! and didn’t even have to take as much meds as i normally do. why is it so easy to pour out our hearts on here & to God, but to others it’s so difficult, sometimes i wonder if i want to get better, or is this more comfortable, but miserable at the same time.
That is how I feel about so many different things still, but I am telling you that I was afraid of my own shadow; literally, just a few short years ago. I still struggle with fears of all kinds, but I am realizing that God is not into instantaneous fixes for the most part. I am not saying that He doesn’t sometimes heal or fix things instantly, but typically there is a waiting and trusting period that takes place before the deliverance. It’s like childbirth. The pain gets worse and worse the closer you are to delivering. I promise you that you are not alone with this. I prayed for you this morning and will continue to pray for you. It sounds like you already had some victories today! Praise God! He did not give us that spirit of fear! It is not meant for us!
I have the same problem. I don’t know if its as bad as yours. I don’t take any medicine for my social anxiety. I usually just force myself into those situations until I am comfortable with the people. Like when I started the job I am currently at I didn’t even speak to anyone. I was to afraid to do that. I ate by myself. When I was in college I went to weeks without eating because I was afraid to go into the cafeteria to eat. Eventually hunger won out and I had to force myself into the cafeteria. Its very paralyzing to feel that way. Its something I have to work on every day and I will have to do it again hopefully soon. I just lost my job so I will have to look for a new job but I am already fearing the interview process and even having to get to know a whole new group of people. I will continue to pray for you and I know you will eventually overcome this anxiety.
I have struggled with who I am for years. I love God. I yearn to be deeper in my relationship with him, but I don’t even know who I am !! If you asked me to describe who I thought I am…I couldn’t. I know God loves me BUT I don’t know what that really even means. I don’t know how to release the hurt and pain from the past. The things I’ve been told that have been done to me……I’m an adult and yet I feel like a child.
i know how you feel too, i know God loves me, but I can’t understand why, I want Him to reveal that to me, what He loves about me, so I can love myself too, all I see is so many hurts & flaws.
Barbara I too understand how you feel. I question who I am also? In my situation, I have been talked down to and told so many times that I haven’t done this right or that right. There seems to always be a better way to do things than the way I do them. I guess that is why I wonder why God would love me. I know God loves everyone but its so hard to comprehend.
I do believe that God is going to use Renee and this study to help us!! We must hang on and continue to run toward God but never forget………when we can’t run or even crawl to God, He will meet us where we are!
Hi ladies! I just started this study and I am so glad I did. 🙂 I am self centered. There, I said it. I don’t know if it is a defence mechanism due to childhood issues with my father or what, but it is now affecting my marriage. I pray God will use this study to reach me and give me the confidence to change into a much better wife. I believe anything is possible with the great I Am.
Thank you for admitting that! SO AM I! lol. It’s not funny, but maybe nervous laughter? nlol (nervous laughter out loud :P)
so am i self centered, have such low self esteem it’s hard some days to do what i know i really should, look to helping others instead of thinking of ourselves & our problems, so easy to say, but do is another thing! when i want to, that’s when the doubts all come raging forward.
Father God,
I praise you and I thank you for each person that has signed up for this study. I thank you for filling them with the courage and the boldness to enter this journey towards your heart. I thank you for this online community – this safe place where each of us can share the concerns of our hearts.
Meet each person at their point of need and cause us to be sensitive to those in the group. Cause us to minister to each other in a way that would bring you honor and glory. I pray that You would give each person a confident heart in You – in Your person. Move the gospel of Your grace from our heads to our hearts. Cause us to truly believe that without a doubt You love us like crazy – that you know us inside and out. Meet us where we are and transform us from the inside out. Fill us with Your confidence and cause us not to throw our confidence out.
Deepen our relationship with you as we turn each page of the book and our Bibles. Cause us to lean into you when we read the difficult messages. Use those messages to transform our hearts into a heart like yours. When we doubt, when we feel insecure, when we feel like giving up, when we feel unloved, when we feel unworthy, when we feel uncard for, when we take our eyes off of you, RE-FOCUS on hearts and eyes on you. Remove the doubts. Remove the insecurities. Remove the fear. Remove the stumbling blocks that we put in the way of our belief. Help us with unbelief. Strengthen our trust in you and cause to be the extenders of your grace to ourselves and to others. Help us to forgive those who have hurt us and help us to forgive ourselves. Flood us with your grace, your love, your mercy, your kindness, your compassion, your wisdom, your discernment.
Change our lives. Change our hearts. Cause us to lift our eyes upward towards you where our help comes from. Fill us with your confidence. Protect the hearts of those in the study. Protect their time in your Word and as they read A Confident Heart. Cause us to become the confident women that you desire. Be their source of encouragement – their source of energy – their source of courage – their source of boldness – their source of grace.
I pray for Renee. Encourage Renee as you use the story that you have given her to minster to each of us. Direct her steps. Give her clarity of mind and speech. Protect her time in Your word. Protect her time with her family. Guard her heart and mind. Energize Renee. Cause her to lean into you for guidance and direction. Be with her family as she pours into each person during the study. Protect her family. Put a guard around her, JJ, the boys and Aster and Renee as she travels. As she finishes up her devotion, help her manage her time as you see fit and as you desire. Use her next week as she brings your truth to Kansas and Missouri. Use her message to change lifes at the retreat. Flood her with you so that she can pour herself out into those in attendance. Let your words and message flow through Renee flawlessly and transform hearts through them.
14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:14-21)
AMEN!!!!!!! I believe I may copy and past this somewhere so that I can pray it throughout the study
Donna, what a wonderful prayer. Thank you so much for sharing it here for all of us.
Yes and Amen!!!!
Dear Renee,
I already love you so very much. Thank you for opening up your life and your heart to reach out to other women. I need work in so many areas of my life that it is not even funny but atleast I care about getting there. Our son died two and a half years ago and I stopped caring about alot of things when he died.
It is time I get back on track with living for the Lord & being what I am supposed to be to myself & to my family. I am blessed. I have a great husband and a beautiful daughter.
I’m thrilled to be doing this bible study with you.
I just had to say thank you so much for all you do!
We love you~from all the lives that will be changed thanks to your love for women. God bless you sweet friend. You have a precious family. Hugs!
Some of my self-doubt comes by way of not believing that what the bible says really has anything to do with me. For example, the verse of the week, Jeremish 1:5. I have trouble believing that applies to me. The Lord is speaking to Jeremiah and it says that He knew Jeremiah before he was born and set him apart as his prophet for the nations. How do I know that applies to me, too? I guess because that is the nature of the Lord and if He did that for Jeremiah, then He must do it with all of us? Does that make any sense? Does anyone else have this issue?
I do that with scripture as well…tear it apart and question whether or not it is for me. The first covenant had conditions on it and was subject to specific people at specific times, but when Jesus died on that cross, it was for ALL of us, and when He rose again, it was for ALL of us. We are hidden away with Him and His new and everlasting blood covenant made all of those promises personal for us as well. I am by no means a Bible expert, but that is a simplified version of how I understand it. Anyone feel free to add on to or correct what I have said.
I haven’t read chapter 2 yet. But after reading this weeks verse I wonder what was I like before? Before this world tainted and scarred me? It is the who he created me to be but so weighed down by the hurts and regrets I am not living the way God intended me to.
My hope and prayer is that we all can stop living under the weights and in the prisons we get trapped in and under and start living in the freedom of Christ. For Him. With Him.
My husband, kids, and parents do love me very much so I know by reading through your posts that I am very fortunate for that. And I try not to take that for granted. I feel God’s love for me every day so I can relate closely to “A personal relationship with God sets us free to be all we were created to be” on p. 43. With so much happening in life is where my doubts come in. There is so much to do every day that I often fall short of completing everything that needs to be done for God and my family. Then I will likely lie awake at night worrying about what I failed to accomplish each day. Then I’m so tired the next day that it’s difficult to catch up on what I am behind on. It’s when I ask God to release me from my worries that a warm bear hug wraps around me. It is such a calming feeling. If it’s His will, I have another day to work on life’s to-do list. I am naturally a DIY person but when I finally realize I can’t control everything, God gladly steps in to help. All we have to do is ask and He’s there for us.
I am committed to continue reading despite my “thoughts” that it will do no good. As i receive notifications of responses I am a bit overwhelmed as i wish I could respond to every lady, I wish I could touch them, look into their eyes and let them know how special they are and that they are not alone. Isn’t funny how I don’t feel or believe it for myself though. I don’t understand why and my hearts desire is to be able to do so, to be able to truly believe that what I read, what I hear is for me too but I am numb. I ask myself when will it go from my head to my heart. I agree that I have to change my thoughts first and i try, I try so hard. When those thoughts come of “not for me” I acknowledge them and refute them as in going through the motions. I can not wait until they are gone and the truth replaces them not so much in my head but in my heart. I guess I will continue trying.
For now I continue going through the motions. Hoping that love and joy begins to infiltrate the minutes of my day and that doubt is vanished. I too, as I have read from many women, suffer from sever depression and it is a daily struggle but I guess God doesn’t let me give up because I keep moving and hoping. I just want the pain, the hurt, the tears to go away. I believe I am saved because God knows my heart but that is not enough to change the way I feel I guess. Thank you for taking the time to read, to contribute and to be an example of how powerful God is through the work he does.
Heb 10:25
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Chapter two was powerful, and so was the video. The section on Pretending was huge for me. “I put expectations of perfection on myself because I thought if I let others see my weaknesses and insecurities they would think less of me.” (pg 32) When I read that, I thought that was so spot on as to my prior way of thinking. I have been guilty of pretending that things are OK because I don’t want people to see the “real” me or my weaknesses As I continue walk with the Lord, He is teaching me that only He can fulfill me and my weaknesses. He knows EVERYTHING about me, which is awesome and freeing. “Jesus is the only One who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are.” (pg 41) To understand this Truth and to own it, is big! I find great comfort in knowing that it is OK for others to see all of me, including my faults and weaknesses. I do not have to be “prefect”!! I am human and am a sinner, not perfect, but try my hardest to glorify Him in all I do. He knows that! He loves me so much that He fills my every need and knows everything about me. Our God is awesome!
Never knew an earthly father’s love, my mom tried but because of the way she was raised, being seen and not heard, I was brought up in the same way. never felt loved or wanted. to this day I’m still longing for love and acceptance. I know Jesus Loves me. it’s firmly fixed in my head. Pray with me that like the woman at the well . God will fill me to over flowing with that living water; his word ,all doubt will be erased. God bless
Wow, what a chapter. The part that stuck with me, among many others, was “We’re convinced if anyone found out who we really are they wouldn’t let us into church.” So true for me – in fact, I’ve nearly stopped going because of all my insecurities as a “Christian woman.” (Only one child, I don’t homeschool, I *love* my work-outside-the-home, etc.) But so much of this chapter rang true! I was brought up that women need to ‘earn it’, that men are the only ones who will, and should, receive unconditional approval, no matter what. It’s something I’ve struggled with a lot – my schedule, and the pressure I put on myself, cause my husband worry and pain – and I hope this study will allow me to let Jesus help me with this.
Evelyn…try being a Christian woman with no children. Talk about feeling like I don’t belong in church! I never had the desire in my heart for children, so I didn’t have them. It was my choice, but not because I wanted a career or a big house or a nice car or anything like that. I truly did not have the desire in my heart for a child and I didn’t think it was right to have one if I didn’t want one just because I’m a Christian and it’s “expected”. I have struggled with my “worth” in God’s eyes because of this decision for a very long time. I hope He will speak to me throught this study.