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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

{Week 1} To Be Known Is to Be Loved – chapter 2

Jerem 3.5

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We’re going to read chapter 1 and 2 this week, so today I wanted to lead those of you who are ready to go with me to the next chapter.

From Chapter 2, A Confident Heart
 “Jesus knew Sam’s (the Samaritan woman’s) story and He knows yours. The Greek word for “know” is yada. It means a deep emotional experience; a bonding between two people when one truly feels the emotions of the other. Jesus knows your pain, fears, doubts, and disappointments. He understands your dreams and desires.

Although some of us feel uncomfortable that God knows so much about us, it is good to be known, to be listened to and not judged. Jesus is the only One who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are. We can offer nothing but our presence, and He will desire us just the same…”

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Our word this week is  “Known”

Our verse of the week is Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (NIV)

This week’s video message is below. Please click the arrow to watch it  – all the way through. You’ll be so glad you did.

(from video script)

I WANT TO BE KNOWN
I want someone to look at my face
And not just see two eyes, a nose,
a mouth and two ears
But to see all that I am, and could be
all my hopes, loves and fears…

And YOU know me
You actually know me
all of me and everything about me
Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread
My past and my future, all I am and could be
You tell me everything,
You tell me about ME
And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation
Coming from Youu brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation
I’ve heard of One to come
who could save a wretch like me
And here in my presence, You say
I AM HE…

(read full script here)

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Today’s Assignment:

  • Read this week’s memory verse (Jeremiah 1:5). Ask God to remind you all week that He knows the way you long to be known, pursued and loved!
  • Start or continue reading chapter 2. If you already did or you are just starting, read it slowly and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart. Journal your thoughts if you want the lessons to stay with you.

Connect in Community:

What about today’s video or sentences in Chapter 2 resonate most with you?

  • Please click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post and do just that.  (REMEMER: If  you are reading this via email, you will need to click here to go to my blog to watch the video and share in the comments section.)
  • Optional: If you are on Facebook and/or Twitter, I’d love for you to share your favorite quotes on our Confident Heart Community Facebook Page and/or share them with me on Twitter (@reneesswope) I’d love to retweet them! Also let’s use #AConfidentHeart as our hashtag. 🙂

Comments

  1. For me, I have been abandoned by everyone in my life and have a hard time with the idea that it will change. I never knew the love of a natural father (although he was alive) and when my Mom died all I ever heard was “What will we do with her.” Not a good feeling~ There’s more but basically I find it hard to believe that “family”
    can be like that and yet looking beyond those things and forgiving them all I just need to accept me but this book is already in only 2 chapters showing me a different way of seeing what I need to see so I can believe that God really does love me all the time. Thank you for letting God show you so you could show others.

  2. Wow this is my first study of this kind! And my insecurities kicked in on the first day, what do I post? will it be as awe inspiring as those who have posted before me? Can I keep up with reading all the posts? All the questions and self doubt. But then I re-read out verse He knew me before I was formed …He knows me!

    • Leslie, I am so excited that you made the decision to join this study. God has brought you here for a reason. I am certain that this journey will take you deeper into your relationship with God. I pray that He will grant you strength as you work through this study. Remember, do not let the enemy get a grip on you with thoughts of self-doubt and insecurity, god has created you for so much more.

  3. All of chapter 2 was great. she captured how I was feeling, and I thought I was alone. I pretend to be ok, bc I don’t want ppl to get close and see my cracks and flaws. I have been pretending everything is fine for so long and wearing a mask I don’t know what is real about me sometimes. I don’t feel I’m worth the love. How can I get to know God if I doubt He loves me and he wants to know me?

    • I KNOW THE FEELING ABOUT LETTING PEOPLE GET CLOSE TO ME, TRYING NOT TO WEAR MY MASK AS MUCH, BUT I WONDER TRULY TOO, WHO I AM, IT SEEMS LIKE I’VE LIVED SO LONG AS A FAKE, BUT ONE THING I HAVE GRASPED IS THAT HE DOES LOVE ME, FLAWS AND ALL, KEEP READING YOUR BIBLE, GO TO A BIBLE STUDY IF POSSIBLE, WATCH PASTOR D. JERIMIAH ON TV, HIS SHOW HAS REALLY HELPED ME, HANG IN THERE GOD IS CREATING A new THING IN YOU! PRAYING FOR EVERYONE ON HERE!

  4. I try to order the book unfortunately there is an error before i proceed with the payment, it is because I’m not within Canada/US country ? Any other way that i can purchase the book ? I really want to have one copy but I do not know how. Please advise. GOD BLESS 🙂

  5. I’ve read chapter 2. First I have to say, you make the story more clear and uinderstandable simply by calling the Samaritan woman “Sam”. Then you spoke life to her story at the well. It was pretty amazing!

    Thank you so much for telling these things about your life. Your obedience to God will lead a lot of hurting people to their healing. (If you talk about the hurt, the enemy doesn’t have as much to hold over of our heads. Expose the secrets.). We’re all fixable with God’s help–and with people like you willing to share their story, struggles and victories.

  6. I have been totally amazed while reading all of the previous posts! I feel as if I have something in common with each woman and before starting this study, I honestly thought I was the only person in the world who had these same feelings of self doubt. This study is definitely a gift from God! Thank you Renee for being obedient to Him. I will be in prayer for all the women participating in this study. There are so many hurting hearts out there behind our pretty masks we charade. God Bless

  7. I enjoyed this chapter. The poem reminded me a lot of my first experience with God.
    I knew my life had been changed forever and wanted everyone to experience what
    He had poured out on me that day. It still brings me to tears.

  8. The Pastor at my church showed that video awhile back. In one word…”WOW”! The tears freely flowed!

  9. I grew up in a family that went to church every Sunday. Honestly, I don’t believe my parents were Christians back then ( they did give their lives to Christ in later years) going to church on Sunday was just what you did. I was in the fourth grade when I asked Jesus into my life. I was so excited! I ran home to tell my family and all they could do was tell me everything I “couldn’t ” do and how if I didn’t behave 100% all the time, He wouldn’t want me… And on and on. It was from that point on in my life that the insecurities set in and began to grow.
    I believe in my heart that God led me to this book and this online study. I believe that through this, He will break these chains and set me free! So, for me, the sentence in chapter 2 that really touched my heart was “He wants us to find lasting soul-security in knowing we are valued and pursued by the One who knows and loves us – the One who created our inmost being and wove us together in our mother’s womb “

  10. Renee – in so many ways I can relate to you. I have had tears of recognition numerous times reading Chapter 2 – for the 2nd time.

    I didn’t grow up knowing about God or His Love either. My family was not “church goers”, prayers or teachers of God’s Word OR Love. My “closest encounters” as a child was through friends and neighbors who took me to “Vacation Bible School” and Sunday School. But my understanding was very limited.

    Through some very hard times in my life (three divorces, bankruptcy in which I lost a business, home and everything worth anything including any self esteem I had left – and many heartaches) I came to know of God’s Grace and Love. But, like your words on page 43 I have believed IN Him for many years now, but I STILL struggle to BELIEVE HIM COMPLETELY. I KNOW He loves me and forgives me. I was amazed the first time I read through the Bible and learned of the people He chose – people that had done far worse things than I did! That truly empowered me to believe that He COULD use me to do His Work! But yet….I STILL beat myself up for the mistakes I’ve made and the ways I think I’ve let Him and others down. I often don’t quite feel “good enough”. I feel I disappoint Him, like I do my family (and myself), that I am not “my ideal weight”.

    BUT… yet, I AM confident of this… that He who began a good work in me WILL carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus! (Phil. 1:6 exclamation mine)

    I AM SO READY TO DOUBT NO MORE!!!

  11. I grew up with always thinking I was not good enough or that to be blessed of God, I had to be perfect. Also,
    if I was to be meet a great man, I had to be perfect otherwise he would not love me and leave.

  12. Since I am going through divorce, I am having doubts on how I feel that I have failed my loving Father in heaven. It was a violent marriage filled with verbl & mental abuse and constant negative comments about m children from my past mrriage. I really tried to do everything to keep the marriage together but it failed. I was always praying but also found myseld doubting that God would answer me. Never having a loving earthly father has been a big part of my having difficulty accepting that God love me no matter what.

    • I’ll pray for you – you’ve shown great courage in walking by faith and not by sight. God wants more for you and your babies than pain and fear.

    • Jane,
      I am fighting a similar battle right now. I am not in the process of divorce, but I am living with constant negative comments about my children from my past marriage, 2 of which suffer from mental illness. Your words just tug at my heart as I also experience a lot of self doubt. Know that I will be praying for you this morning, specifically that God will fill your heart with His peace and speak to you in such a way that erases your doubts.

      • Im going also going through a similar situation. My husband has a mental illness and is pursuing a divorce. I have fought tooth and nail for my marriage. Begged, pleaded, cried, yelled to help save it but he still says we now have nothing in common and he never loved me just thought it was the right thing to do at the time. Im broken over this. Because i have associated my worth with this relationship instead of who I am in Christ, Ive been a basketcase. I have a hard time seperating the two things: my divorce and then the self esteem issues. It is all running together.
        This study came at the right time for me. I feel Iike God is calling me to tackle these weaknesses and move me forward. Im praying for restoration. Becaue I hope my husband comes back, but Im praying for his salvation also..which is more important to me. My divorce will be final next week, I hope i make it through this. Please pray.

        • Praying for you Kerri! The Lord knows what you are going through. He sees all, and loves you through it. Jesus will not turn His back on you.

  13. Stephanie,

    He is so waiting for you just as you are! It’s in our weaknesses that He is made strong. He loves you like crazy. So much that He sent His son to take your messes (sins) and carry them to the cross for you. He loves like no other and you were made to be in a relationship with Him. He loves you and loves you and loves you …imperfections, messes, doubts, etc. He loves you just like you are.

    He wants you to come to Him just as you are. And you can do that by praying the prayer at the bottom of page 44 in A Confident Heart accepting Jesus as Lord of your life. If you have any questions or need help with the prayer and understanding, please contact Melissa Taylor at the Proverbs 31 office at 1-877-731-4663 and she will talk you through it and pray with you.

    And I will be praying for you.

    Donna

  14. One thing I read but cant believe for me is that “He is there waiting for us in the midst of our imperfect lives, when our pain and failures confirm our self doubts.” What is so good about me that He wants to wait for me. There are far more women out here that need Jesus than I do. doesn’t it waste His time?

    • He would be wasting time on Himself because You were made in His image for Him to love.

      His time is infinite so He will wait for you…you’re thinking w/ a human heart not His heart…I do that too.

      You are one of the women who needs Him…I need Him…we all need Him.

      You are so good as Stephanie…that’s enough.

      So, NO, you are not a waste of time to pursue…and, Yes, He will wait for you…until he end of time.

  15. I have spent most of my life being “fine.” As the oldest sibling, a lot was expected of me, and to this day I fear disappointing those that rely on me. So instead of wanting to be known, I withdraw and hide, myself and my failures. Like Renee says, I have believed in Him for a long time, but I have not completely BELIEVED Him. I feel terrible that my faith constantly fails me, that I cannot take that leap confidently knowing He is there for me. That is what I hope to accomplish, to take full possession of His inheritance for me. He knows everything and loves me anyway, I should not worry about anything else!

  16. I was really blown away by something revealed to me in the questions at the end of the chapter. As I read and prayed through question 6, where you suggest we ask God to speak through Sam’s story, and show us things in our hearts that need repair, nothing happened. I had NO sense of God revealing anything to me, and without a moments hesitation, I felt totally inadequate. Surely most of the women reading this study will receive some revelation. What’s wrong with me that I don’t?
    And then it hit me – that IS my revelation! Without thought, subtlety and insidiously, I knee jerk to the conclusion that I’m inadequate for some reason. How often does it happen and I don’t even realize it? It’s so much a part of who I am that I don’t even notice it. Thanks for being used by God to bring clarity, and hopefully over time, I can renew my mind with truth!

    • I know what you mean. It’s like you get used to being inadequate that it becomes your identity almost. I think we can become addicted to being rescued by God even, and so we will go through a cycle of “falling” so that we can relive the deliverance. I don’t think that this is something that we do knowingly, but I do think that a lot of us do it..and when we don’t receive that “deliverance” then we start to question ourselves and then Him.

    • Wow, I love what you are learning about yourself and how He revealed that default thought process to you. That is HIM showing you the empty place He wants to fill. We are all inadequate in some way or another but He wants to fill in our gaps with His grace and patience and show us how to be nice to ourselves and love ourselves just as we are instead of trying to live up the world’s standards of perfection and performance -even in the church.

      THank you for sharing. Love the honesty of our group!

  17. Chapter 2 got a little more personal for me that the first chapter. When you asked “If you were sitting with Jesus, what would he want to talk to you about?” You pinned me perfectly when you said “Your heart needs to be set free from pretending and perfectionism. Are you longing for others approval?” That’s me. I measure my life, my marriage, my parenting, on what others perceive me as. I pretend a lot and it’s exhausting to me. I KNOW I need to measure my life on God’s standards, but I struggle with that.

    Also the reminder that a “personal relationship with God sets us free to be all we were created to be” I realized after 30 years of being a Christian I really don’t have a relationship with God. I don’t know HOW to have a relationship. I know I’m saved and pray that this will be the beginning of my relationship.

    • This journey will be the beginning of a very sweet, tender and personal relationship with Jesus if you will do just what you are doing. Read, soak in the truths, answer the questions and let Him show you how much He loves you and what you need to grow closer to Him. Praying for you!

    • Perfectionism is my ball & chain. It keeps me from trying because I fear failure so badly. This part of chapter 2 struck me so much I had to write down the word ‘perfectionism’ in my journal as a reminder that it creates doubt and limits my opportunity to really live life fully.

  18. At first I was thinking of other women who I thought would benefit from hearing this, then I started to doubt myself, thinking no, they won’t listen, they’ll reject me call me weird, think I’m stupid or worse. Suddenly, I thought WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK, THIS IS FROM GOD TO ME, I’m the one who wants to change! I’m the one who God sought out specifically WOW! I am the samaritan woman! It’s my turn to talk with Jesus, not all the other people around me with all of their drama…..tears are falling from eyes right now. Thank-you, Lord, thank-you.

    • Oh Reene, let the tears flow. This is your time sweet friend. He wants to be there for you and speak to you through this study. Sometimes it’s hard to let Him b/c we are more comfortable helping others – but this time, let it be your time with Him. 🙂

  19. The video portrayed so well the fact that God can take all the bad feeling of not being loved and accepted away. As we learn by daily walking in the light of His love, we can learn to love others and share Christ’s love for them.
    I am 73 years old and have walked the walk of doubt and not feeling I could ever measure up. But, I can truly say, as I look back, I can see how God loved me, guided me even when I had little knowledge of His desire to be personally involved in every facet of my life. As time goes on, I just try to talk to Him as I think a child would and know He will be with me. He has known me from the minute I was conceived and I look forward to the day when I can live eternally in His presence. In the meantime, I am still learning how much He loves me and every person on the face of this earth. I’ve stopped worrying so much about what others think of me and just strive to daily walk and talk with Him.

  20. What a great lesson…As many have mentioned, I too was raised in a church where God was big and out of reach. Now as an adult, as well as little by little, God is becoming personable and caring in my eyes. This chapter really spells it out: God knows us through and through. It is a difficult concept to realize and I find myself “thinking” too much. The thing is, no one can explain His love and acceptance more than He can. I have much to learn.

  21. The woman at the well has got to be my favourite story in the bible, when I read it I think of myself, meeting Jesus, with all my baggage I have, I am accepted, loved, forgiven, and come face to face, with the person who knows everything about me, and still loves. I believe every woman wants to be loved, accepted, be completely real, I can find that with Jesus.

  22. The video – what a surprise. She listed off every insecurity I felt like a deer in the headlights, then just as quickly I was exalted in the fact the God KNOWS me. Absolutely wonderful!!

  23. WOW!!! I hadn’t read chapter 2 until today and know God has put me in the right place at the right time!!! I would have to say the whole video resonates with me and I would have to type the whole chapter out cause it all resonated with me as well. I had not read your story before Renee and a lot of the same feelings you had i too had. My mom and dad separated when i was 4 and i to felt all the same things you mentioned. I have been married twice and Sam truly knows how i feel and her story resonated with me. I had no idea that what i was going to read to night would help me the way it has but God did and for this I am thankful!!! I can feel the confidence building already!!!

    • Praising Him with you! Keep your eyes and heart focused on Him! More confidence is on it’s way to you through Him.

  24. “You don’t have to pretend things are fine when they aren’t.” I can honestly admit that at the end of this chapter, tears fell down my face. I realized that I have said the words “I’m fine” more than ever in the past year. After a painful end to a relationship, I questioned why God would bring me such pain; why he would take away a person that provided me with so much love and joy and make me feel as though I was nothing. I would often say I’m fine and then run to a place and cry. I was a complete and utter wreck. And it was because I was not truly understanding that God works all things for the better. God wanted me closer to Him and in a relationship with Him. I would have never got to this point had I gone on with the same frame of mind as I was in during that relationship. I wanted God to be that magic genie; I wanted the marriage and the kids and the house with the white fence. I wanted all of that from Him when I did not really know him. I have come to the point now where I talk to God many times a day and EVERY day. I bring him every worry, fear, dread, hope, etc. I am working on a relationship with Him where I can let my guard down. A relationship where I don’t need to worry that I am constantly a failure…because God’s love is perfect, I don’t have to be!

  25. “You can’t be worth much if your own dad leaves you!” Says the little voice in my head. And while my brain knows it didn’t have anything to do with me, my heart and soul have always felt inadequate. I am afraid that I have transferred my experience with a leaving father into my relationship with God my father. It is hard for me to truly believe that God could possibly love me knowing me as he does. Chapter 2 has enlightened me to see that “The only way we’ll have a confident heart is if we move beyond knowing about God to knowing and relying on Him—to depending on His Word with our whole heart, mind, and soul.”

    • Cindy,

      What til you get to Chapter 5! God is going to reveal so much more of Himself to you along the way! Love how Renee calls it moving God’s grace from your head to your heart!

      Praying for you.
      Donna

    • Cindy…I too was abandoned & rejected by my father…same voices! Your comment about ‘fear you transferred the experience of your leaving father to God your father’…I have felt that too!

      I will use your words slightly different…’I will not compare my leaving father to my loving father.’ That is very healing for me to see it like that! Thank you!

  26. Wow. I went into this expecting that I would ‘grow in Christ’. Typical, right? But I see a little bit of a twist in my expectation. I see that I may become better equipped to deal with my singleness…and that my heart would be better prepared to greet my Boaz…but definitely not in a way I would have expected. I have spent much of the past 3 years feeling that I don’t measure up….that I will never be good enough for a man in the church, the kind of man that I long for. I know that I am a daughter of the King, I know that He pursues my heart. But what I didn’t realize was that my focus had shifted to the members of my church. I didn’t realize that I’ve spent too much time every sunday morning feeling ‘the scorching pain of rejection and judgement’. Oh the woman at the well…how alone she must have felt on her journey. As a single mother and as a woman whose husband walked out on the marriage without a second thought, I have spent countless days and nights feeling alone…and also feeling that I was a second-class christian compared to others in my church. And yet, every sunday I hear myself say “I’m fine…we’re doing great!”. This chapter has been an eye-opener for sure. Excited for the great things He has in store throughout this journey!

  27. This may sound crazy but this made me feel less alone/more alone at the same time. The video and chapter 2 helped me see God’s work in progress (me) isn’t such a bad thing…. lol…. The aloneness comes from me wanting to have a person or core group of people for us to just be real, support, love and just be……

  28. Wow!! I listened & watched the video twice … and will be going back to watch it again after I am done. I personally carry so much guilt and doubt with me on a daily basis that sometimes it overcomes me. To have the knowledge that God loves me and KNOWS me almost overwhelms me. I have sought the acceptence of people in all the wrong ways in my life…and this book is teaching me that I no longer need to seek that acceptance..that God loves me. There is no other love like his. I struggle from day to day with family who does not understand my desire to get to know God on a personal level..they do not understand my desire to be in His Word…I am learning that I do not have to seek the approval of others..they cannot give me the unconditional love that God gives me on a daily basis.

  29. I never knew the word “know” actually had a definition. But when i read what it meant it opened my heart to what God has been doing. I always saught for anyone,someone to just know me,accept me,love me, amd forgive me. I even placed all those requirements on my husband. But to know that God knew me in the womb,before i made first wrong choice he loved me enough to spark a conversation and make all my wrongs right. To say I dont have to be perfect and he will keep an open relationship with me. Im grateful.

    • Maria – Thank you for your post. I to have feelings like yours. I am finally beginning to open my own eyes to the fact that I have been seeking the approval of people for years…the WRONG people. The person that I needed to be focused on was God..and He has always been there for me. God bless you!

  31. The story of the woman at the well has always been one of my favorites — perhaps because I so identified with her. One of my favorite historical fiction novels is “Journey to the Well: A Novel” by Diana Wallis Taylor. GREAT story!

    One of my first memories of God was from a backyard Bible study done at a neighbor’s house. What I got from the one day I attended was that my heart was black and God was austere and foreboding (hence the only one day’s attendance). LOL! Luckily He prevailed … oh where would I be if He didn’t pursue like He did?!

    I think it’s easy for us to think we’re the only ones … we’re prideful even in our shortcomings, aren’t we? I always go back to the Scripture, “there’s nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). If I’m feeling it, someone else has felt it before me.

    I’m so grateful that Jesus is willing to meet us at the most opportune places. And that we’re fully equipped to give Him what He asks for. That really struck me … that not only did He meet “Sam” in a spot where He would have her to Himself, but He only asked of her what she could give. A simple, life-changing request. A drink of water. This is *so* comforting and reassuring to me — the realization that I am *perfectly* equipped to give Him what He asks of me. If that little tidbit doesn’t chase away shadows of doubt, I don’t know what can! 🙂

    • Thank you, Denise! Your last paragraphs bring both a smile to my face and tears. Whew! Selah! God bless you richly!

  32. He knows my name , hears me when I call ….. Reminds me of that song . I know he loves me .

    It’s all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.” Joshua Ch 1

    He got me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Wow, Becky! Thank you so much for what you shared here. I laughed at your statement, “He got me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Praise God! God bless you richly!

  33. When reading that verse it makes me excited to know that I have such a loving God on my side, a God that has had plans for me all along. It excites me but also makes me nervous because I don’t want to disappoint Him!!

  34. I have really enjoyed reading Chapters 1 and 2. I had actually bought this book a while back with all intentions to do this book study, and I did not do it. So I am very thankful I am getting the oppurtunity to do it again. The words that you have written in the 2 chapters, seem to go hand in hand with the thoughts that I have. I struggle so much with feeling like I am not as good as others, and the feeling of self-worth. I know that Jesus loves me and does not want me to believe the lies that get into my head. It is my prayer that doing this study will help me to have a closer walk with my Lord, and that I can have the confidence that he wants me to have. Thank you for writing this book and taking the time to have this study.

  35. The video is amazing and having read both chapters and listening to the video I have been reopened and reborn again by it. I am a nurse of 38 yrs and being the middle child I had to go to church every day. I married a Catholic man who really taught me the significance of the Lord. He went through major issues and one of these was he was sent back by the Lord to take care of me. He had a broken back and had 7 back surgeries for staph- he had a vision and saw the white light and was sent back to take care of me. We had not even gotten married. I took care of him for 17 yrs as a married couple and lost him about 3 yrs ago. He had 3 major open heart surgeries for an aneurysm of the aorta and he had 3 strokes in between the surgeries only to be locked in — a veggie on life support. I knew his wishes and had to make a decision to let him go. I knew he did not want to live like that. I have lost him, my home, my house and my job because of financial issues and have had to have back surgery — the surgery was in Nov 2012– I have been reborn and have had my surgery and have a new life. I used to fall over 40 times and could not feel my feet. Being a nurse and pulling on patients hurt my L4-L5– come to find out they were pinching my sciatic nerve. I have praised the Lord ever since and I am well and walking now with no problems I have faith in the Lord and know he is with me and he comes to me by letting me know with the healing ability he has given to me through my hands. I pray and meditate every day and I am taking 2 on line bible study classes as I speak. I am enjoying the study Renee and have learned to trust in the Lord and know he is always with me and is carrying me as I go down the path to learning. I have been able to help people over the phone as well as person to person.
    I have been reborn and I have asked for forgiveness. I Know I have sinned and I hope he will accept me as I am which is more than my father used to do as I was growing up as a child. I always got blamed for things that I did not do and I was never smart like my sister who was a straight A student and I had to struggle. I became a nurse and I am glad I chose the path I did. I have been able to help people and I believe in giving rather than getting. Praise the Lord and when I lost my home I gave it all to a fund to help others out who had nothing. The video is above and beyond what I thought it would be and I am so glad to be in the class and have learned a great deal by reading the book so far. I am here if anyone wants to contact me or email me. I praise the Lord and if I can help any one let me know. Email [email protected].
    Thanks Renee for letting me be in the class. It is great.

    • He loves us and accepts us right where we are! Praising Him! And he loves us so much that He doesn’t want to leave us! He wants us as close to His heart as we can get!

      Love His unconditional love for us!

    • Thank you, Nancy, for sharing your heart with us! May you continue to grow up into Jesus in every way!

  36. I didn’t have a father growing up until my mother remarried when I was in 7th grade. I always longed for a father figure in my life. I always tried to be perfect because I feel that is what was expected of me growing up, nothing I did was ever good enough. Just within the last 4 years I’ve had those feelings that “I’m not worth staying for” especially in my recent relationship. I went to the point with him, telling him that he deserved better & actually picking out women who I thought he would be happier with, now that is absolutely ridiculious, if I would have just realized that even though I may not be enough for others in this world that I am truly enough in God’s eyes and that’s all that should matter. I was made in His likeness & image & I’ve been told that God doesn’t make junk, that is so true. I have been isolating myself lately because of my feelings toward myself because it’s hurting others to hear me say hurtful things about myself. Unfortunately I don’t try to keep it hidden & a lot of times I wish I would. I’ve always felt that if I was just this way, or dressed this way, or acted this way, that whoever it was would love me & stay. But I shouldn’t have to change myself to please others, I only need to change for me & become & realize the beautiful woman that God truly made me to be. I can relate to the sentence “When we come home to an empty house and wonder why we don’t have a family”. My daughter recently moved out in January & now I’m left with the empty nest syndrome. I used to be known as Mom, I’m still Mom but she doesn’t need me as much anymore, which is very hard to accept. She has a wonderful young man in her life now & treats her the way she deserves to be treated & I’m very blessed & proud to have her as my daughter, she is absolutely beautiful, not just in my eyes, but God’s eyes as well.
    Even though God knows my heart & my desires for my life, I still need to take the time to sit down & talk to Him about everything, that’s what developing my relationship with Him is all about, talking with Him daily, reading from His word daily. I want to have the thirst of my soul quenched/satisfied. I feel like “Sam” in Chapter two (2) a lot of times. If Jesus asked me to go call my husband, I would have the same response, “I have no husband” and was with a man who wouldn’t commit. How difficult that is for me to say & accept. I too feel abandoned & rejected & alone many times. I know I will not feel this way anymore when I truly develop the relationship that I need to have with God. He will never leave nor forsake me ever 🙂

    • Julie…I too longed for a father. My father abandoned me at a young age…my parents were 16&17 when I was born. For 38 years I fought feelings of rejection, abandonment, broken trust, unworthy, unloved, need to please. Only last year did I decide to surrender to the Lord to meet my needs…I dug deep to heal past hurts…surrounded myself w/ safe loving authentic friends…used resources suggested by my Christian therapist…surrendered & embraced the love my husband ha always genuinely showed I just didn’t trust it…it wouldn’t last he would leave.

      You made a comment about ‘shouldn’t have to change to please others…and letting your hurt show when you feel you should hide it’. Our society has trouble embracing ‘brokenness’…it’s not that you’re weak…it’s not that you’re imperfect…you are exactly as He designed you to be made in His image. It took me 38 years to find ‘safe authentic genuine friends’ to lift me up, fill my emotional tank, encourage me to remember I am His child and how much He loves me. We text, call, email, chat over running…everything is on the table…if I am feeling anxious over work…I text them for prayers & why…they immediately text back. It relaxes your heart & soul to surround yourself w/ these select loved friends. I have 3 safe friends I regularly confide & plus my husband. 13 years of marriage I am authentic w/ my husband now!

      God is the mighty counselor & healer…I thought I was a mistake & not worthy enough for my father to stay in my life. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart one time in deep prayer & worship & reminded me ‘He was rejected too…and He has had me in His arms my whole life’.

      Lord I ask You to send the Holy Spirit to Julie to lean in close and whisper in her heart who she belongs to. Help her to have confidence that she is perfect as Your beloved child. Let her have a spiritual heart to recognize the safe friends that will embrace her and all her brokenness…the friends that You have already picked out for her and we are confident You will send. Let her heart recognize that Your love is enough…Your grace is sufficient…that You are the only one who can fill her ‘well’. Let her feel Your loving arms. In His sweet name I pray. Amen!

  37. I really thought I have been a pretty confident person but after reading chapters 1 and 2, I am finding that I am good at pretending and not letting people see who I am or how I really feel. What I am realizing that I do not even let God in or feel He can help. I acknowledge that God is helping everyone around me but I don’t realize all the wonderful things He does for me or can do for me if I would rely on Him. I need to get real with God, myself, and eventually other people about where I am and how I got there. I need to stop pretending everything is alright. I especially liked the the part about looking for places in my heart that need to be repaired. I am looking forward to the repair process and the healing. I am glad I decided to do the study.

  38. I always feel like I am disappointing God. It seems like I mess up a LOT. And because of that I feel as though He is always angry at me. I am not sure where this view of God came from for me, because I was loved very much growing up. I was disciplined by my father, but nothing harsh. I am confused as to where I got this view of God from 🙁 .

    • None of us are a surprise to God! I believe our actions can and do grieve the Holy Spirit, however, once convicted, we repent and ask forgiveness. At that moment we are forgiven and continue to be loved. None of us are perfect and God isn’t looking for perfection, He’s looking for willingness.That can be tough thing to wrap our heads around, but little by slow I am learning to receive it!

      Psalm 139 says

      O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. (No surprise)!

      Learning to lean on God and receive all that He has for me is a daily process. Receiving His love is also a process, but what I am learning is that the more I recognize the areas in my life that need work He heals me and helps me along as long as I diligently seek Him out. I am pruned daily of behaviors, words, and actions. God’s grace is sufficient and ever present.

    • To Murphygirl, we all miss the mark, daily, remember God loves us no matter what, all we have to do is repent, and stay in touch with Him. Prayer is powerful….

      Prov 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding: In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths….

  39. LOVE LOVE LOVE the video! WOW! Just starting in on Chapter 2 so no comments on it just yet. The verse of the week has just become my phone’s screensaver! Now there’s a way to see it over and over again!! Time to get offline and spend some time with my precious husband, then do a little bedtime reading.

  41. Wow!!! I was really blessed after I finished reading chapter 2. Thank you Jesus for loving and forgiving me and most of all, for accepting me!! I am filled with awe!!

  43. I am thinking about the word “known” and what it means to be truly known by God. He sees me-all of me, just as I am. And yet He loves me. Sometimes I have a hard time loving me, knowing some of the ugly things I have thought and done. It is an amazing, extravagant love. I think this is the concept that for me is key to accept. I don’t have to perform up to standards. I am forgiven and that is final.

  44. Renee, Was God there when I was being abused by my stepdad in all ways possible? Starting at the age of 7 and until I was sent away at the age of of 16. Pregnant, I gave my baby up for adoption after only holding him for seconds. Was God there? Was God there when my brother ( my protector ) steered my stepdads anger from me and took a beating many times? My brother passed suddenly 6 months ago and life as hardly been worth living!! I have much to hide and cannot be myself around people because I don’t know who I am. Praying this study will help me and others like me. I do go to God because I know He is the only one I don’t have to pretend with, he knows me!! I still praise Him!!!

    • Debbie,

      Keep praising Him! And yes, he was there your entire life…..He was there when I was abused …. he was there when my Dad left …. He is there as I survive cancer …. He is there with us every step of the way.

      Also keep holding onto these promises …. ” I (God) will never leave nor forsake you.” (Deut 31:6).

      What is impossible with man is possible with God. (Luke 18:27).

      I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him. (Psalm 91:15)

      And my favorite …. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jer 29:11). He is our future and hope.

      Praying for you.
      Donna B

    • This was in my You Version Bible devotional for today by Darlene Zschech,
      God is not cruel and does not bring temptation and trials into our lives. That is the result of our Enemy and the fallen nature of the world in which we live, a world which God so loved that He sent His best for.

      When God allows trials and tribulations—even persecution—in your life, know that His love and faithfulness is just as real and present. Focus on Jesus and the finished work of the cross, for His grace is sufficient for your every need. In fact, through every trial, I encourage you to lean into His grace. It reaches deep into your soul with the joy of knowing He is everything you need.

      I choose to walk in the happiness you bring to me through the Spirit, O God. My eyes are fixed on you.
      ~Darlene Zschech

    • Oh Debbie,

      How I felt your pain as I read your post. I carry the guilt from my first pregnancy when I was just 15 years old. I was forced by my parents to put my child up for adoption…I held her only a few seconds before I was forced to hand her over to a stranger. Broken hearted I went home and sobbed in my room for HOURS…in the middle of the night I hear my mother asking me if I wanted my child back…the guilt I carry because I then took my child from a loving family that wanted to adopt her. There are times when I wonder what her life would have been like…would she be happier???? God bless you Debbie.

    • Debbie,

      Thank you for your post. I don’t know the ways of God, especially when bad things happen. But I believe he walks every path with us; offering us strength and courage in the midst of chaos and despair. Just as I believe that when the yawning abyss of darkness threatens, he is there, holding us, with us, no matter the demons we face. I am so glad that you were not afraid, and shared your story with us. There are so many healing things in Renee’s book, but one in particular spoke to my soul as I hope it will to yours… “God doesn’t promise us understanding, he promises peace in not understanding.” (I’m sorry if I paraphrased that horribly, Renee!) Blessings, Debbie, you are not alone. P.

    • Debbie so sad you’ve experienced such pain emotional and physical. My experience hasn’t been as difficult as yours, but what I’ve found is God never promised our lives would be easy. In fact, just the opposite, He does promise we will never go thru it alone. Hebrews 13:5 is comforting. Lean into that truth. Blessings to you. And prayers also.

    • Debbie I know your story because mine is similar. I was abused by my father from 5years old until I left home at 18. I know that God really loves me and I have dealt with some of my feelings and insecurities but I still struggle with loving myself. This is big in my life and I cannot look at photos of myself. I also can’t accept people liking me for myself. So this study is for me. Iam 69 years old

  45. I have not yet read Chapter 2 (I am waiting for my book to be shipped) but the topic of this video and discussion resonates very strongly with me. I have known “in my head” that God loves me and knows me for a very long time but it hasn’t really ever felt personal to me. As someone who is well past what would be considered the “typical” age for being married and having never had a serious boyfriend it is so easy to feel like I have been forgotten or that I am not destined to be loved and yet “in my head I know God knows me and loves me. I truly desire to rely on God’s love and trust that His love will always be enough and yet it feels like in doing so I have to be willing to set aside the desire I have to be married, which up to this point I haven’t been able to do. I pray that as was discussed yesterday that I will be able to move from believing in God to believing God, and in turn learn to be content with His plan for me no matter what that is.

  46. Wow! I am so happy that I am in this study. I feel blessed to be a part of all these christian sisters.I to was a Catholic and now I am a Christian woman on a journey to know God and His Word. A Confident Heart is truly speaking to me. I have gone through a 1/2 box of kleenex…The video was so powerful.

  47. Prior to my personal relationship with the Lord I thought of Him as a judge over my life, and someone who dealt me a “raw deal.” I come from a violent broken home and began to numb myself with drugs and alcohol at a very young age to get away from all the ugliness I was exposed to and experienced. I remained in that place for 22 years, until at the age of 34, I went into treatment and began a journey of clean living and sobriety. This too was when I became saved. Although at first I didn’t feel worthy and could not even imagine that God would or could love me I have continued my walk, spent time in scripture, and now, 8 years later, believe that I am loved by God the Father, warts and all.

    My challenge now is learning to love myself as God loves me and learn who I am in Jesus Christ; believing I deserve all the wonderful things in life He has planned for me. My hope and prayer is that through this study all the shame and poor choices I have made over my time here on earth will melt away once and for all and I will begin to truly walk as a daughter of God. I am ready to overcome Me and ready for God to show me what I need to see. There is pain left, but I am certain He will provide both the comfort and strength I will need for my journey.

  48. Renee I liked what you said about the word “fine”…
    F…frazzled
    I…irritated
    N…neurotic
    E…exhausted

    That describes how I feel “inside” quite a bit of the time. All this “pretending” does lead to “isolation”. I have a fear of rejection, and I have absolutely no clue why!? I can’t seem to pin point it, but I do. In your book you mentioned that your daddy left, so you thought that you weren’t good enough and that’s why he didn’t stick around. I can’t remember anything that dramatic happening in my childhood, although I could never handle “rejection” well. It took A LOT out of me, creating my families new website. I’ve had negative and positive responses. The negatives are difficult for me, but the Lord has been with me every step of the way, and given me the strength to push past my fears of rejection and share with others those experiences, both good and bad, that have so certainly changed my life, and that I pray will help encourage someone else who is hurting.

    • Donetta,

      When the fear of rejection floods me and my stinking thinking, I pull out this verse and say it out loud over and over and use it as a filter for those thoughts of rejection. Throw those thoughts of rejection out the window and remember this promise.

      “The Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Duet. 31:6)

      Praying for you.

      • That verse really “spoke” to me. As I was writing it down at the very bottom of my journal (the one I bought for my OBS that has Bible verses on each page), the Bible verse at the bottom of the page jumped out at me. “The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut. 31:8. God knows me and knows what I need.

  49. Hi Renee, will you be able to send the link for the chapters? I am not able to buy it.

  50. To be known is to love. To love is to be known. Hits right at the root of most confidence issues- love.