Hi friends! I am so excited to start this “Confident Heart” journey with you!
We have almost 8000 women from around the US and the world signed up! I’ve been closing my eyes and picturing us gathering together in small groups (cause I’m a small group kinda girl). Anyhow, it’s so amazing to be here with YOU learning how we can live beyond our doubts by finding our security and confidence in the power of God’s loves and promises!
The first thing I want you to remember is: This is YOUR journey.
You’ll be reading the chapters. You will be asking and listening for God to speak to your heart. You’ll be the one who takes time to highlight sentences, promises and quotes you want to remember.
You’ll be looking for ways to apply and live what you are learning. You’ll be answering reflection questions and interacting with the group.
You’ll be doing the faith-work of not only believing in God, but really believing God.
I’ll be shepherding, leading, praying, encouraging, connecting and pacing us. I’ll be sharing more of my story – and inviting co-leaders who are helping me with the study to share theirs.
I’ll be praying for you, encouraging you, believing in you and challenging you – but you will make the heart investment and be the one who gets out pretty close to as much as you put in.
Here are a few IMPORTANT reminders:
What’s Needed: A copy of the book, a notebook, a Bible, and a ready-for-God- to-do-a-new-thing in you attitude!
When We’ll Meet: Because we’ll meet online, you can check in at your convenience any time of the day and week.
(Day 1) Assignment
Read the Acknowledgements. This will give you a peak into my current personal life and I’ll be asking you to share about yourself later this week too. 🙂
Read Chapter 1.
- If you don’t have your book yet, you can click here to read Chapter 1 .
- Highlight verses and sentences that grab your attention or tug on your heart.
- Write down what you sense God is speaking to your heart in the margins of your book or in a journal/notebook.
- If you’ve already read chapter 1, share your thoughts here. And then take time to look up the verses mentioned in the chapter prayer and answer the questions at the end of the chapter.
Connecting in Community: Click “Share Your Thoughts” below and let’s all answer this question:
What sentences in Chapter 1 resonate with your heart or speak to you in a personal way? How did you relate to my story in this chapter?
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I graduated a year ago with a degree in Christian Ministry and Leadership, and had a baby a few months later. The part that hit home the most was when you talk about not having what it takes to be a good Mom. I question this EVERY DAY. I know I have what it takes, but my doubt just gets the best of me. The next part that hit the most was when you said, “Or maybe you’ve sensed God calling you to serve Him in a way that requires steps of faith, but insecurity has convinced you that you’re not smart enough or gifted enough.” (21)
I have always wanted to start a Christian non-profit that benefits families with children that have autism. I know it will take a lot of work and a lot of money (to get it started). However, I also know that if this is what my calling is, God will help me through it and will allow the doubts to be pushed aside as I see the final product.
I am beyond excited to do this study. My Mom and I are doing it together and I am so excited. I have the worst self esteem and have little confidence when it comes to life, so this is PERFECT!!! 🙂
I hear you about the doubts of being a new mom. My girl is 11 months and we became pregnant with her basically a week after we were married. Learning how to be a wife and a mom at the same time leaves room for lots of doubts!
I have struggled with confidence my entire life. At a young age, I was told by my mother that I was not pretty enough, smart enough, loved enough or just simply enough to have the things I want in life. I wasn’t pretty enough or graceful enough to be a ballerina. I wasn’t pretty enough to get married. I wasn’t smart enough to get into college or have the job I wanted. Then when I got married, I wasn’t good enough to keep my husband and he wouldn’t be faithful because I’m not pretty enough. Then I became a mother and somehow, that was the only place in my life that I had confidence, but when I became pregnant with my second child, my mother asked me if I would love my oldest child as much as the new child. Would I remember the oldest child was there? Would I love them equally? This was new territory for me so I began to doubt that I would love them equally. Then once my second son was born, my mother asked if I was feeding him enough. Am I spending enough time with my oldest? Am I keeping up on my house work? Then the Lord lead me to Homeschooling, and then I was asked why…. Then told I wasn’t smart enough to teach my children. I honestly do not know how I continued my faith in God or how I managed to continue to do what I felt God was telling me was right, but I have and I continue. Now my husband is unemployed and has been looking for work for the last 6 months. I found work at church working daycare for Mops bible study mom’s and I am able to still homeschool my 3 boys (7, 5, and 2 years old) and I can have my children with me when I work. But I doubted my ability to do this church job and I feared going and there are days when I still fear going. But I keep going and trying to grow in my confidence in Christ so that my boys don’t know the self doubt and worldly doubt and all other doubt I struggle with in being a woman, wife and mother. I’m thankful the Lord has lead me to this study so that I may be able to walk my talk and show my boys what true confidence in Christ looks like and pass it on to them in the way is was not passed on to me.
“”What’s wrong with me? doubt was something I had dealt with more times than I wanted to recount…………I doubted I was worth keeping……………. doubt robbed me of joy…………..I questioned whether I was good enough…………I doubted my husbands faithfulness………..doubting you have what it takes to be a good Mom………the unknown is too scary”” IT’S NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THIS WAY!!!”……….just a few of the sentences I have underlined in the first two pages. Doubt, fear, uncertainty were always a part of my life. I have signed up to do this study now for the 3rd time. I will admit that I have come a long way since the first time……..with help from my Jesus…….but still need to continue on the journey to knowing fully who I am in Christ. I have already answered the questions for part one…………here is what I wrote for question one a year ago.
When I was 5, my oldest sister got married. She is almost 14 years older than me. She had been like a mother to me and I can still feel the loss I felt then. My bond had been with her, not my mother. My Mom had no understanding of the abandonment I felt and didn’t react well when tears of doubt (that my parents loved me) and fear came. Her words of “If you don’t stop that I will give you something to cry about” still echo in my ears………53 years later. Thank God, my sister is still with me and we have a good relationship.
Brenda your Words resinate with me. I have the same feelings. Felt I was worthless when I got sick and lost my job. Son gone living on own, doubting husband loved me. Fear everyone would leave me like my brother and father. Need to say yes to everyone because I’m afraid they will not be my friend any longer. My sister is also who my strongest bond is with. She was always there for me when my Mom wasn’t. Need to learn to lean on God and not myself. Thanks for sharing.
I believe what caught my attention the most was the statement that I have always believed to be true…If this is God’s calling on my life, wouldn’t I feel like this is where I belong?” All my life I haven’t felt like I belong anywhere. I have always felt I was a burden or a bother to people. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and even though I accomplished that, daily I criticize myself for the mistakes I have made and feel like that is the reason God didn’t allow me to have more children. I criticized my husband constantly for his parenting skills, especially now that I see my children being so much like him. But realization came last night in a family blow out, it was my defending them which in turn caused us to argue that has made my children feel like they are at fault for us not getting along. Talk about an eye opener.
I used to see myself as such a positive person, people even told me they didn’t know how I did it, but now I see I should’ve been more like that in my own home. I tried, but always felt it was a losing battle because of so much negativity from my husband. I always felt that leading by example would change him and then when it didn’t I would get angry with him and frustrated with myself. I get angry at myself for my mistakes and then doubt everything I’ve ever done. I need this Bible study! Even though all but one of my children are over 18 maybe I can still make a difference…
You know something that I learned over the years is that in order for someone to change we have to change first. When I was first told that I was like “y do I have to change 1st, y can’t he/she change first?” “y do I have to watch what I say or do but he/she doesnt have to watch what they say or do?” God has shown me that I needed alot of changing w/in myself (still working on me) before I could even expect the person I was wanting to change to change. I am here to tell you it works, its hard, but it works and then of course everything begins to work according to HIS plan and not my plan…..that is why we have to change 1st before who we want to change, can change.
I am starting this study today with so much hope in my heart. I have struggled with anxiety and panic attacks and I’ve approached this problem from many angles. This includes but is not limited to medication, yoga, nutrition, therapy, etc, etc. However, while all of these avenues are important… they are not the ONE answer. My fear stems from a lack of trust in my life and how I am leading it. I am hoping that this study will teach me that i am NOT IN CONTROL and that it’s OKAY and preferable to not be in control. My life in God’s hands is endlessly more fulfilling than my life in my own hands. I look forward to this journey and I pray that God will open my heart and help me stay committed to hearing the truth that I KNOW he wants to share with me through Renee’s book. I look so forward to doing this with all of you beautiful women!
Jessica, I am praying for you!
Lord, help Jessica to know that she is Yours! That she is a daughter of the Lord! Lord help Jessica to know that she has all the confidence she needs – Your perfect confidence. Lord I pray that you allow her to see that.
Lord help these women that have become vulnerable and opened their hearts to others through this Bible study. Lord send a hedge of protection around all of us while we go through this study. We love you Lord and we give you the glory that this study will bring forth!! I pray this in the name of Jesus!
Renee, thank you so much for doing this study.
Self Doubt has been instilled in me since early on. It has now reared its ugly head again. Self esteem issues started when I was young because of family issues. Those family issues are still there and renewing themselves daily. When I read Jeremiah 17:7, the first thing that I heard in my head was “wait, I have confidence in you, and I am all you need” the Lord reminds us that we must trust in Him. He has many blessings for us. He has confidence in us. That is enough. I have been freshly reminded again today! I am so looking forward to this study and what everyone has to share! Thank you again Renee and all of those who are participating!!
Even though my family has left me – does not mean that my Lord and Savior has. He is here! He is my Hope! He made me in His image. Sefl esteem issues are from Satan. Period.
Now if I could just remind myself of this everyday – We are getting somewhere! 😉
Teresa, that is where I am at also… that I KNOW that my lack of confidence is from Satan and I can say it all I want but I need to learn to really believe it and most importantly to live it. Looking forward to changing and growing with you!
my whole life fear has keep me from doing things. I have been going through a hard time for the last 4 months health issues and not knowing what . No definate results have another appointment . My prayers is that through this study I will fear not for the LORD is with me ! I have been a Christian for 30 years i have walk close and then not so close !please pray that I will make it through this study and that my life would be totaly surrender to the LORD
I feel ya, Glenda. Fear is my number one inhibitor in my life. If I can cast out those fears and really believe that God will take care of me and, in fact, has been taking care of me in all of my 25 years then I will be so fulfilled.
Hello Renee – I was happy to see that you are doing the online-study again. I tried participating last year but it didn’t workout so well. But, I’m back to try again. I read chapter one and it is very enlightening. It made me think back to a little girl and how I’ve always felt insecure, shy and . . . unimportant. Today, I”m not as insecure, know that I’m important, but still have insecurities in a lot of areas. I look forward to this on-line study and to read everyone comments. I know that we all can be a support system for each other. Have a very blessed day.
Good Morning! I struggle so bad w/self doubt and having very low self confidence. Im not too sure where in my life I began to struggle w/it but I am going to believe that through this study God will begin, if he hasn’t already, to show me when it began to show its ugly face in my life. I struggle w/depression and OCD, as well. There are a couple things that stuck out to me in Chapter 1: 1. Self -doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live w/a confident heart…..that is so true. Self-doubt can block the promises so bad to the point where the only voice (s) I hear are no longer His voice and I cant stand it. I know God is w/me and by my side but it is so hard at times when the self-doubt voices are louder than His voice. 2. Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time, we need to know and believe that change is possible…..I know change is possible but sometimes it is so hard to see the change when all you can see is what is in front of you. I try to so hard not to see what’s in front of me, I ask God to open my eyes and let me see things through his eyes and not mine. If I see things through my eyes I will never see the change. I am so down for change and I’m ready for it, just need that confidence in my heart to get me there. I know its there but I have to find it. 3. When I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I have a confident heart…..one thing that I have been doing is posting prayers or scriptures on my mirror in my bathroom. By doing this it helps me to choose to dwell in Him and his assurance. I’m not going to act like its easy because trust me I have days where its super hard but with it in my face it makes it a little easier. I am so ready for this to begin in my life because I am soooo tired of being in this place. I have husband of 16 years and we have 4 beautiful children. I know they can see and sense when I am down and out or in that dark place and its not fair to them. I have got to come out of this place I am in, feeling worthless, not good enuf, not trusting people, etc. I have so much to live for, not just my kids and husband but what God has called me to do while I down here on this earth still. I know he has a purpose for me but I feel like I cant fulfll the purpose till I get the confidence in my built up, not my confidence but His confidence. So ladies, I am here because I need the help and the change and I ask that you prayer for me to reach that Godly confidence, that Godly boldness and get rid of this self-doubt, depression, voices (ungodly voices), etc, as I will do the same for you ladies as well. We CAN do this, regardless of what the voices in our heads try to tell us. We are MORE THAN CONQUERORS…………..ROMANS 8:28-31.
I am excited to finally read this book! I have been wanting to for such along time but never did and things kept popping up about this book all the time!! Soo I thought ok God I get it – I’m suppose to read this book! Thank you for this study and I’m soo looking forward to reading with you all … Enjoy 🙂
Oh I forgot the other thing, in my excitement with the neuroscience connection I mentioned above!
The other thing that stood out to me is “Don’t listen to these thoughts, my friend” (p. 23)
This may be because I teach Listening Behavior, a Communication course, at a local university and we talk about this… but one thing I have a hard time with is I don’t often consciously think these thoughts. It’s more like a feeling I have that is sending me a message, emotionally, that equates to all the ones you mentioned on that same page. And I’m in trouble before I even realize it. I’ve been working lately on actively choosing truth, etc. and saying it out loud (prior to this study) and it’s gotten me out of some messy situations, that my insecurities could’ve wreaked havoc in. It was HARD work though to do this.
Sarah,
Thanks for sharing your victories with us. I know that the most transforming growth I have experienced has come through praying aloud and reciting scriptures aloud, especially in the difficult situations. I have gotten away from doing that the past few months, though. I am ready to get back to that place of actively allowing God’s Word to change me!
Thank you for that reminder about the power of praying and reciting scriptures aloud. I find that hearing the word repeatedly from my own mouth, is most profound.
Ok dont know if my comment through or not so posting again always struggled with self doubt growing up and through my marriage, I thank God for this book while i was posting a scripture came to my head
Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
What stood out to me is the importance of saying scripture out loud. I read a neuroscience article once several years ago about the brain circuitry involved in addictions (stick w/me, I promise it’s relevant) and the importance of re-wiring your brain and one way you do that is by repeating something out loud — key, even if you don’t believe it (ex: I am not a smoker, I don’t need a cigarette, etc.).
But the reaction in our brains (when we’re addicted) when that thing is taken away from us, is “I’m going to die without xxx” so it sends that message out to our body and we NEED whatever we are trying to quit.
The author said one way of overcoming that, is to deal with it by telling ourselves out loud the truth, until it works.
I think the same thing applies absolutely, here. It is important not only to believe God obviously, but he also made our brains to work a certain way and when we get addicted to something, or to a pattern of thinking… it is extremely hard to “just believe” and “have faith” -so I loved that you pointed out we need to say it out loud Renee.
I truly agree w/that Sarah 🙂 that is why I post scriptures/prayers on my mirror so while Im getting ready for work in the morning I say them out loud. It helps for us to believe what we are saying. Its hard at first but it works and the times that you really dont feel like doing it, is when you should really being saying it out loud.
I have wanted to do research on this very thing because I have seen such a BIG difference in my life when I say God’s promises outloud, or pray them out loud in first person. 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing that. LOVE IT!!
I do believe in him, but I find myself admitting I never did believe Him. Especially concerning my life. Towards others, I always recognized He is great. In my own life, He seemed far away. This journey will teach me to believe Him, concerning my life and the path He traced for me. I finally understand how to pray effectively, by praying His words, not my own. Because my words display my will, not His. When I am filled with His word, it will be easier for me to stay in the light, in His will and in the path He wants me to go.
Amen!!!
What popped out at me most was, You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. I myself have let my insecurities and doubt get me so far away from the light that i have lost sight of my purpose that God made me for. So much darkness has clouded my vision that i am stuck and lost in a huge never ending storm of anger and pain. I am here now to become confident in God again and opening my hard heart to allow myself to trust his unfailing plan for my life.
I am so happy to find your book and this study to do with so many other women! I have felt for so many years that I was the only one who felt so insecure and afraid of disappointing others. I am tired of feeling like no one truly loves me. I am tired of bending over backwards trying to do everything perfect for people so that they may want to include me in their little group. When I expressed this thought and this study to my mother-in-law she acted shocked that I would feel this way! She said she had never felt like this because she knew that God loved her since He made her the way she is; maybe she was just stronger in her beliefs than I was then. I went away mad and hurt! I cried over that dig but wasn’t surprised by it. They happen regularly from her. When I tried to explain that there were lots of women that feel this way she couldn’t believe it, stating that she had never heard anyone say such a thing. It seems as though I am surrounded by “strong” women that don’t understand my tender, broken heart. I am so looking forward to this study with everyone and growing in my LORD and Savior!! I know He loves me! Now to grow a confident heart for Him!
I can say that you’re not alone in feeling insecure. I’ve definitely done my fair share of “bending over backwards” just so I can be in some elite little group. I’ve come to realize that if God really wanted me to be in those groups, He would have provided. Perhaps your mother-in-law is not struggling with insecurities because God has provided her with abundant confidence. However, I do believe she could have shown a little more compassion towards you. Men and women struggle tremendously with doubt and insecurity every day. We get good at hiding them from other people, but we can’t hide from God. So no, you’re definitely not alone and God has amazing blessings for you!
I too have walked around, like Lysa, holding my little heart shaped cup out asking someone or something to fill it…always to find it empty. I didn’t know anyone else did this! Page 23, I know what it’s like to feel paralyzed by doubt! I am ready for a change!! Thank you, Renee, for your book. Thank God for you!
I have been living in doubt my entire life, never believing I was good enough in any area of life. I have spent thousands of dollars getting degrees in the hopes that would make me worthy. I have always felt overlooked in the workplace and everywhere else. My instincts tell me to run when things don’t go my way, and so I do. This along with other unhealthy coping skills has kept me “stuck.”
I have been walking with the Lord since 2005 and recently, while feeling less than once again in my work life, He showed me that running away isn’t the answer, running to Him is………I believe this study was placed in my path to overcome this place I have lived in my whole life. I am excited to experience what I know will unfold as I embark on this journey with all of you wonderful women.
I’m a runner too!! I know what you mean about being stuck…I’m there with ya! Ready for a change and excited about our new journey!!
Me too, girl! But we can do this so we dont have to run anymore 🙂
What you said resonates with me! I find some confidence in having the schooling I have, but a lot of what I’ve done and accomplished as an adult is to constantly prove something to myself.. which hasn’t been proved.
Murphygirl, your post speaks so directly to my heart. I’m in college right now…I’m a senior and will be graduating in December. One of the greatest sources of anxiety and fear in my life has been a career choice. Choosing a degree and planning what I want to do for a job has been a rough journey…I’ve been through feelings of worthlessness, depression, and hopelessness. I definitely felt that my value rested on my grades and the degree I get and the job I find when I’m done…
I’m now more settled in some choices…after going on a mission trip and working as a counselor at camp last summer, my trust in Jesus has grown SO much! However…feelings and thoughts of doubt still creep in. I still don’t know what God’s plan is for me..where I should work. What graduate school I should go to. I still feel like I have to look out for myself. Clearly, I need to trust Him more. He is SO able and worthy. Why do we doubt Him? I don’t want to run to anything else for comfort and security. Only Him, knowing that He will lead me to the place He wants to use me. I am glad to know I am not alone in these struggles and am hoping that through this study, we will find strength in quiet confidence and trust.
The sentence that stood out to me was ….You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light. I know doubt and trust are my issues right now . In Jan. I found out my husband of 28 years was having an affair. We are now trying to restore our marriage but their is a lot of doubt and trust issues. I am going to turn back to the light and trust in Him. I am taking this study so I can have a confident heart and know who I am in the Lord.
1) Heb 10:35-36. Patient and Endurance. Whatever circumstance we need to press on and trust in him and we will be blessed.
2) Pray God’s words out loud.
Thanks for sharing.